Lead as Coach in Times of Change
Hello. Everyone and welcome to the Columbia, Business School executive education executive. Webinar series, today's. Topic is lead as coach in times of change unlearn. Fear and embrace your owl I want. To welcome everyone, here we're, in New York right now and just, before we begin we want to go through a few housekeeping our, rules for the webinar as you. Can see here a recording, will be available after the webinar so, once. We're done the webinar, will be sent to you in a link that you can access for future use during. The webinar we encourage everyone to ask questions, by using the Q&A box at the bottom of the zoom meeting screen, there and also. We would, love it if you would tweet about the webinar using the hashtag CBS, exec ed there at the bottom I. Would. Like to introduce today's presenters. We. Are being joined by Hill. Kefauver who's the founder of to coaching, and facilitation, organization's. Growth, leaders, Network and constancy. And the, faculty director of the Columbia Business School executive education online. Program, leader as coach he. Is also the author of the upcoming book, taming, your crocodiles, unlearn, fear, and become a true leader. Joining. Hilga for the second half of the webinar will be a gusto moon president. For the south america region at Boehringer, Ingelheim a, business. Coach for strategic, and executive, management as well, as a past participant, of the leader as coach program so, I want to welcome you both here, today thank you so much for joining us. It's. Great to be here Nate and thank you for the welcome and welcome to everyone, to. This webinar on. Leading. As coach and unlearning, fear and gusto, it's really good. To be here with you today welcome. Thank. You very much he okay it's great to be here thanks. For for. All the preparation, and and thank you for everyone connecting, out there. So. We're, gonna have, this conversation for, the next half hour, and, as Nate said please submit. Your questions throughout about. Coaching, in this connection, to fear. And. So. My. Invitation, to you as to as you. Go through this take. There's not as much as a. A lesson. Or a history lesson but very much like a, gym, practice take away with from from, this what you like and and leave the rest so why might coaching, be about. Code about fear what it might might be about maybe, even unlearning, fear, well, you could say when, we coach ourselves. We. Are interested, in a. Different. Objective on, we're, interested in in change you could say and. When, we're coaching another, we're. Helping the other reach. Another, level of capacity, of, impact, of being or whatever it might be and, there's. Something within, us that, reacts. To change and that. Reaction. You could call fear, and actually, when, you look at the neuroscience. For this there's a piece of our brain which is the, most, primitive and, the earliest, parts that, we come in with and it's called the amygdala, which. Comes incidentally, from the Greek word you guessed it already amygdala, which. Is this little, piece of a, brain, tissue which, is on 24/7. Alert, to. Make sure that it ensures the basic, function, of our nervous system, which, is survival. And from, that perspective change. Is really bad because we. Like predictability, so, why is coaching. About also about. Unlearning. Fear, it's about we. Have to encounter. Fear, as we step in to change. For. Example as, I, think, about launching, this book that Nate mentioned there's. Fears that come up with for me because I've not done this before and so so how will, I do this in a good way and of course there's all kinds, of things that pop, up in my brain in terms of doing it well and not doing it well so, coaching, in part is about, helping, us starting, with ourselves navigate. This, internal. Landscape you, could say those demons, in, a skillful way, now. This is not something that we might pick. Up on as. You grow up because, when, you look at our, traditional, relationship. With fear. It. Can be looked. At in a dictionary and in, the dictionary. We read about fear it's an unpleasant, emotion. Cause. But I believe that someone, or something is. Dangerous likely, to cause us pain or as a threat, and, who wants that like. Who wants fear like who wants this so our traditional, reaction, to, this you. Could say first gate that we have to walk through if we want to change anything is like, oh no I'm, going to try, to shy away I'm trying to get myself out, of here that, is like this beam me up Scotty, kind, of in.
A Reaction, you could say so. That, is very understandable. And yet. If we want to coach ourselves. Through. Change, we, might, benefit, from a fear. Of fear going, from a fear of fear to, developing. A sense of fascination with, fear, and. So imagine what it'd be like if if I, think, about any fears you might have right now about. An, upcoming change. Or, a challenge, you're facing what. Would happen with, your sense of empowerment, your, sense of well-being your, sense of fire your sense of resoluteness. If you, could shift the. Potential. Energy action, from, fear, of fear to potentially, a fascination. With fear what, would happen, what would happen, many. Leaders have started to understand, this, here. Is Pete Carroll, and I'm a little. Predicated. Towards him since he is the head coach of my hometown. Team. Called the Seahawks he says we. Need to get to a platform, in. A place that allows fear, to be part of it to, be comfortable with it even to have fun with it and that, allows us to master, it and then we get some tools like breathing or self-talk, that's. How, to thrive, in situations, were not proficient in he, says fear. Is really. Central, to what we do and he's, not the only leader here. Is the. List of, the. Fears of an, Australian. Company CEO, by, the way this is not a picture of him this is just a symbol here on this page and and, his fears that, he actually shared, with this entire company, Inc. Not being recognized, being wrong being ridiculed losing, control, being let down hurting. Or damaging, relationships not. Being accepted, being, alone, etc. Etc etc and, I've, highlighted some of the ones in red that. Are very. Present in me as I. Face change so. The, question, then is how do we deal with these fears and one. Of the great things about being a human being is that we have is. That we have this muscle, in ourselves which, we could call the. The muscle of fascination. Of, discovery. And has something to do with our with our heart and being open, to what's going on so we, also have our brain and we can use the rest of our brain to, actually make sense of our fears and when, we study them would actually might notice, that there's. Patterns to our fears and when we study them with. A growth, mindset with, a discovery. Mindset, then, our primitive. Which you could call crocodilians. Fears can, actually, mature, into, wisdom and we call that all wisdom, to, symbolize, wisdom. And compassion and, something higher, that we might want to aspire to so let's investigate. How. We might, want to do that and how we can map our inner, landscape of fears into a. Platform. A stepping, stone into wisdom, and as, we go through this I ask. You to think about what, might be some fears that, are most common, for me because, the first step, in taming. Our fears and taming our crocodiles, is by. Naming them so. If. You think about it fears have something to do with our, motivations. If we didn't have motivations. We wouldn't have fear, and we, can categorize, our motivations, like, Maslow. Did then later on Richard. There's the organizational. Psychologist, did. In in, different categories. The. First category is, survival, so we have a motivation, to survive and with that might come the fear of not. Being able to survive or scarcity, and then, we, might have. A motivation, once we've got to survive on place for relationship, and from. That we, might start, to become concerned. Of not. Having relationship, or of, we. Might fall into the fear of abandonment and, then, once. We've got relationships, in place we, might also have an in motivation. Or need for. Self-esteem, of being someone in the world and of course with that might, come our fear. Of not making that our fear of failure and then, once, we've got that in place and of course it's not linear it is sometimes a Sickler, or a spiral. Path, once. We start to open ourselves to, things we start to be common, learning we, might, become interested in discovery, and transformation.
And Once, we do that we. Might start to face the fear of uncertainty of. Not knowing and and. Once, we've got our, discovery. Motivation. X in, place and. We've got a sense of who we are we, might become interested, in making a contribution to, others and once, we do that we go out in the world we. Might come face to face with, our fear of hurts of hurting others or of. Being. Hurt and then. There, might be a fear, of a. Motivation. To to, start to see more cohesion, start, to see more the connection, between different, things you could say once, we've got these first five in place and from. That could, stem the fear of complexity. Like not, seeing the cohesion and, the connection between everything and once, we got all, that in place we. Might get to a place of wisdom, and compassion again. These seven are not linear. But sometimes, they play out like this once. We, want to have wisdom and compassion and, we're, interested in that we, might become very, unsettled. And. We might. Encounter. Our fear of of. Losing identity. So. Ask yourself, which, of these, seven. Fear, types, which. We can call fear families, because they are of course inherited. From, society, family education, and so on we, serve these feared families. Do, I notice in myself, most often, in. A moment we're, going to do a poll, on this and. We're going to ask you to to, cast, your votes on which fear do. I notice in myself most often. Realizing. That the, key to taming. Our crocodilian, fears is by first naming, them is, it that, you're afraid of scarcity, of. Not having enough or not being able to provide for yourself losing your job is it that. You're afraid for the fear of abandonment being, left out or not being part of the team or being. The odd one out or, is it that you're very afraid of the fear of failure being. Wrong or not being perfect making, a mistake or. Is it that you're afraid of the fear of uncertainty in, the future or what might happen but. What you might do losing, control, and sense, of vulnerability. Or. Might it be that you're afraid of the fear of being hurt or hurting, others or maybe about, being overwhelmed. By others. Thoughts and feelings or by losing identity which, of those seven fears is most like you and let's. Take a look at the, poll now so we can click our answers, using. The, radio. Button, scarcity. Abandonment. Failure uncertainty, being, hurt hurting. Others, are. Being. Overwhelmed or losing. Identity. Take. A moment to. Cast. Our votes and. Let's. Take another moment to do this and. Amongst. The, many. People that we are together here, let's. Take a look at the poll results now and let's. Take a look at our, fear. Families. How. Interesting, the, winner is today, the winning crocodile, you could say is, the. Fear of failure. And that makes sense doesn't it followed. By the. Fear. Of, uncertainty. And then the fear of scarcity and doesn't, that make sense given. Our society. And how we've been brought up to always know the right answer. If. We can. Bring. A gusto into, the conversation, now and show, his. Camera. And his his microphone. Gusto. Augusto. Which, of those seven, fears is most like you. It's. Of the seven things thank, you, it's. It's. Quite. Interesting I. Have. In. Several, stages of this, last four years here in South America, I've lived through. Different. Types of fear. For. Me the strongest one in some situations, is the fear of abandonment. And, it's related, to. Situations. Where I feel I might not be accepted. As the. Leader that, I believe, the organization needs, here. Living, a big organization. And trying to always be. Accepted. By those who, you lead especially, in times of change, where. You're bringing people from the. Outside into, the company, or when, when you're leading a new group of people. There's. There's this fear of, whether. Or not I will be accepted. As the, leader from now on yes. So. There's. This is I think the most prominent, in the last few years. Very. Clear so when you're noticing. That fear, of abandonment. Driving. The bus and of course there's many other parts to you right but when that fear. Of abandonment, is, driving, the bus as you'll lead this part of the company what. Behaviors, show up in you how do you behave under, the influence, of that you could say well.
It's It's it's. Fascinating to observe first, you have to be conscious about those behaviors, and once once you see them. The. Effects are incredible for, me in. This fight, to try to be accepted. I try. To please those, that I want acceptance, from yes, yes, and interesting. You know if those behaviors, are or. Mold my relationships. With. Them yes. Through, time yes. And it's interesting that's a paradox, isn't it the more you try to please the. Real less, real relationship, is there and therefore, there's. Actually some abandonment, happening, because when you please you, actually abandon, others because you're not there. Exactly. And, and somehow you. Become a leader. That. Interestingly. Enough maybe not a lot of people, in the group would like to leave it's, a it's a pleasingly, there is not someone that is actually, being, true to what he or she is looking for, in the long term yes, yes very, clear very clear so, let's. Take a look at this and and and, we, both have discussed, a map that I'd, like to share with that with all of us today that. Creates, some make. Some sense out this you could say because, as you, already said, a fear. Family, like abandonment. Drives. To some of a persona. Right. Which. You talked about was was being pleasing, and and let. Me just share um. Briefly. How, to think about this and then I'd like to continue, the conversation with Gustav, about how we show this and, how this shows up in your work yeah. So. When. You think about the fear families. One. Way to tame, them is to name, them to, notice them but, they don't always show up like. Hey I'm this fear day they show up in behaviors, so, to catch ourselves and behaviors, what, we've done is we've given them an acronym, and we've. Called them success, personas. Unified. And. We've. We've, called, them success. Personas. Yes and the. First one of these success, personas, you could say is, driven. By the fear of scarcity would, be about, being safe, like. Driven, by scarcity I try to be safe and if I try to be safe I might overwork, or being, victim, or in short term mindset and then there might be the. Fear of abandonment and, and then I might go into the mask of pleasing, it as you said. On, gusto which is kind, of us versus them like, trying to create my little cocoon, of safety which. Might result of judging others are that don't comply. While complying like, pleasing, or being sad oriented, and then, the, third fear the, fear of failure when, I could show up in a mask of being, very controlling, like, I'm trying, to micromanage being. Perfectionist. And really making sure that my. Little square of the, universe is perfect. You, know which. Of course is, okay. But it actually might lead you to losing, the bigger picture. And, then. The fear of uncertainty can. Can, create this kind of mask of having to be certain, and rigid. And dramatic. On end like it, can cause people to be closed-minded and then. The. Fear of hurt, might. Show, up in trying to be like essential. Right, trying, to be essential, and and. Making. Sure that I'm not getting hurt because I'm putting myself above others, for example by dominating, or by, being a rescuer, or maybe hiding, and the, fear of complexity. Might show up in being sapient, like knowing all the answers, being. The the paranoid. Naysayer. That's all gonna not work out or the advice-giver. Written or whatever it might be and and then losing identity might show up in a persona. Of being special, like, if. I if I want to lose identity, I can just make myself super special, by being myself putting myself in the pedestal, being a martyr and so on and, then once. We notice these. We. Can transform. Them by, using owl intentions. And again we use the acronym success. Here to help us remember so we can be like instead of safe we, can focus on being samurai. Still, and resourceful instead, of us versus them we, can focus on, uniting. And bringing people together but being authentic, and empathetic, as opposed. To controlling. We. Can be a very. Centered. In our purpose, not in attachment. To the outcome but very focused, on what we're here to achieve and then, as. Opposed to being focused. By certainty. We might want to be very curious now, curious, about what's. Going on and as opposed to being very, driven by being. Essential, you might actually want to extend, the contribution. To others by, being caring, and. As, opposed to being like this the all-knowing. Sapien. Person we might want to actually, open, ourselves up, and sense in and as opposed to being, special, we might want to be, very simple, like, super, simple and and go.
To A place of service so. This is a little bit of a, fear map, you could say so. Augusto, let's dive in here and and, let's. Have a conversation so think. About a challenge that you're facing right, right. Now and how, do you see this play out these, these, personas, and the possibility, of working with these intentions, well. I have, been. Reflecting, a lot lately, because, I'm facing. Some. Some. Situations. At work. Starting. Four years ago I started, basically. Going through some some changes, in the organization in, South America, previously, I was in Southeast Asia leading. In other region and, as soon as I came here I identified. Some areas where I wanted to work in and and. This brought a lot, of change to the region change in actors. Change, in in behaviors, some, changes in in the way I wanted to do things in procedures, the way I felt, the, company needed to evolve mm-hm. And, I have a original. Team and I also have teams in the different operating units in the countries, and. And along the change. Process that, you leave or, that. We're experiencing, here in South America. Not, everybody. Moves. At the same speed and, and, the teams do not evolve all equally, so while I'm focusing, for example initially I focused on in the region and. We build strengths, as a region, I started. Afterwards focusing, in you know peers in the in the countries, and and. It it, has I think come to a point where the. Evolution. That happened in the countries now is. Requiring, for, me to revisit. My original, team and figure, out if I'm. Offering. Solutions, to the to the different countries in. A way that they now expect because, it's raising the bar and and and the, speed at which will raise the bar in different areas of the organization, it's, not the same yes. So. That's that's one of the challenges for example that I'm facing right now okay yes, yes so when. You think about this challenge of gusto we. Serve those seven, personas. Crocodilian. Personas, do you see play out in yourself that you need to be, watchful, of you could say. So. Interesting. Enough it comes to abandonment, quite often. But. In this way and I think that's also we've talked about it, in. Other instances. Why. Abandonment. Because. I believe, the first thing that, I need to do is to add, this. Transparency. In. Those interactions, with the teams and. I think that's being, authentic. To the situation, that I'm that, I'm seeing right now that it might be even present, in different change, scenarios. Through, our different companies and the. Second one and perhaps most important, is also losing, that identity, of being. The big shot around the region and and. Doing. Some changes, in some areas, that might have not been or. Today, might not work as they initially, would, have right, I'm. Moving between these two yes, yes so, let's take the the big shot one yeah the. Number seven being special, right, so.
What's. The effect, on that of that you could say the impact of that if you are of, course as many parts, of mind right but if this part of mine is crocodilian, part of mine is driving, you, what's. The impact, on let's. Say the people in the countries, that you're leading. Well. Yeah. I think or, at least I related a lot to to ego. If, I let, this crocodile, this, ego, crocodile, Drive my behavior, right now I might, end up having a dysfunctional, organization. And. Not. Helping the, the. Countries that actually are seeking for help at the moment right or seeking. To raise the bar from original perspective. And. And, and that would be lost because. Then you're trying to by yourself raise the bar as, opposed. To helping, allowing. Enabling, others to raise. The bar. Exactly. To go, to work the process in an authentic way, so. Everybody's aware of what we need this region yeah, yeah so, which our success. Intention. Could you practice. And of, course you can take one of the same fear family, but you can also move across because it's more like an, art, really like, how can you activate, the, part of yourself that, mitigates. That crocodile. You. Know it's it's I'm, gonna link it to one. Principle, that I started, working with in South America, when I arrived which is I would. Like to. Be. Or be, part of a team where every, individual. Is, growing. In. The process yeah so if, I go back to that reflection, that you were accurately making earlier I. Need. To. Step. Aside in, a way and not being this, centered. Person and going back to the losing identity and keeping it simple and allowing. This growth happen in my teams and get, to to, that. Arena. Where I want everyone to be or what, I would I think. Everyone. Should be in, growing along this path together, with me that's one and and. The other one is I would continue. Being authentic, and not trying to show a persona. That that I'm not. So. I'm actually hearing. Intentions. Number two three, and seven a what they're saying you know it's. Like being simple, and serving. Being. Centered, in your purpose, and saying up what are we trying to do it's not about augusto this is about the success, of the organization and, then. It's, about uniting, it's like being, very authentic, and what you want to do and not. Holding, back also, not playing small you, know it's not like okay, now you guys do. Whatever you want to do it's okay it's not like that either is it correct. No it's not like that it's it's just I think being setting. Those rules. Straight and and walk that path with a team, great. Thank, you thank you, well. In this in this time that we have we're going to have a few minutes for questions and, answers and thank you for sharing, this, clearly. And vulnerably. A ghost oh it's a pleasure to have this conversation so. Let's. Let's, open it up for. Some questions, and answers um, that. We, might have we might have a few minutes to address those now so, Nate. What, questions do we have for, now all right yes. Hi. Thank you so much Hilco no gusto for those insights well, take a look at the questions here and just a reminder to everyone to, please submit your questions through, the bottom the Q&A box there at the bottom of the screen so, our first question comes from Alfonso. He says how, can I work on fear as a leader when my boss is not open to this kind of conversation. Great. Agustin. You will take that one. There's. Many. Many. Many views on this one I think I have, the strong belief that I as. A leader, established. The culture that I want within my organization and. I. Think it's only fair. At least to, ensure that, I am aware. Of those fears and ensure that my organization below, me leave that. That. For me would be, perhaps. The starting, point towards. Ensuring that that. My surroundings, grow in that same path but it's a it's a very good question actually and. So and and so if I can add to this of, course we're. Always gonna be a leader, because a leader is being a mindset, it's not only a role is also a mindset and I'll ghost oh and I'll phone tone and myself we all have bosses you know at some at some level whether it's a client or whoever that, we report. To we have accountability too, so. So.
The. Question is that what do we do with with, a situation where our surrounding. Let's say a boss and colleagues are not yet doing it this is very much of practice, of, starting. With our self first now so we, think about leading ourselves as coach it's, very much about starting. With our self first and and, doing this inquiry with ourselves and then extending. Without. Attachment. And then we can coach others and start to coach the system but really but, the the ongoing, daily practice that we can rely on this is working. With fears ourselves, keeping, it simple yep, thank. You for that question other. Questions, and I know there's many questions, and the ones that we won't address in this webinar will, we'll address um by, email. So what questions other, the questions Nate, alright, thank you we have another, question here from Terry Moby at TC he, says I saw you demonstrate, how to apply this framework, with there is a coach, or support, available but. How might this be applied to, self coaching, as mentioned, earlier in the session. Yes. So, I, think about, the three ends, you. Know notice. Name. And renew. Is kind of our end but that's gonna if I remember you know it's, notice, name and new so. We. Can notice. Our this, by asking ourselves the, question what. Fear, am I feeling right now that, already. Activates. The. Part of our nervous system that is able to be aware and by, asking myself a question this. Daring. To ask that question is already an act of courage and that gets, us into a place of like, and, noticing. Hey I am fear, I'm fearful and then taking, a look at the picture that we're showing on the screen now or some other picture that talks, about what fears might be going on and then, renewing. Is more like a playful thing like like a ghost was showing us like playing. It around with it that what would happen if what would happen is so. Three questions what am I feeling what. Fear might be active. Here and then, playfully, how can I renew this yeah. Maybe. We'll take about one more question, all. Right yes I think we have time for one more question this, one is from Michelle who asks, what, is the biggest mistake you see organizations make, when it comes to leading change when fear is at play. It's. A great question maybe we both think, about that one augusto for, me the.
Biggest, Mistake. That we can make. Is to deny it. Like. Because. We are so conditioned. Like. When I ask you how are you especially, in the United States I'm great. It's. Rarely that I meet somebody when, they say when they ask how are you doing, they said I'm afraid, rarely. Right, so. When. A person, or an organization thinks, about change making fear, discussable. Just like that Australian, CEO I was. Doing that we mentioned earlier can be tremendously. Powerful and, I think it's required because. Otherwise it's denying, a big part of us that is there and, if we deny it it will, rot drive drive the show because it's not conscious Agosta, what do you think I agree. It's neglecting, that it that its existing, it's, gonna be out there and you have to address it openly. Respectfully. But openly. Thank. You. Excellent. So maybe. In closing, I'd like to just. Show, this man's. Face who was inspired a lot of his work FDR. He. Coached in an entire, nation that, was in denial and in the 1930s to. Get. Out of denial, that. Had led to all kinds of crazy, stuff what least contributed, to it the Great Depression and is, one, of his first lines of President in, 1933. Was let me assert my firm belief that the, only thing. We have to fear is fear, itself. So. Let's. Take that with us and and maybe, in this last few minutes we've all developed a more fascination. It's. Something, that, we really don't want to be fascinated, with, and. Thank you a goose toe and everyone for for participating, and I pass, it on to Nate. To. Finish. It up thank you thank, you very much you'll get things, all. Right well thank you so much Hilco and thank you, augusto, for. These insights and for teaching us about fear. We. Want to thank everyone who's joined us today and just, a reminder that there will be a link to the webinar so you'll have access to this later to review and. Look. At the main points again at the webinar and also if you're interested in Hill cos upcoming, leader is coach program keep. For, the recording, email because we'll be including more information, about the program there so, again I want to say a big, thank you to our presenters. Hilton Augusto and to everyone listening and look forward to seeing you next time thank you.
2018-02-21 19:08
