How I Lost $100,000 Day Trading and Almost K*ll Myself
in this video i am going to share to you one of my deepest secret and biggest biggest financial mistake in my life hey guys welcome back to my channel my name is junichi and i'm a child of the content in this channel i'll talk about personal finance financial freedom and investing so please do like comment and subscribe this channel if you have not done so so you don't miss out any future videos from me this video is deeply personal to me because it carries a lot of shame and guilt and i'm being very vulnerable and i'm aware of what can happen to me by sharing this video so maybe i also think that this is one of the ways for me to tell the world that i'm actually able to deal with this issue in the past because this event happened over 10 years ago so it's been a long time but sometimes i still have that that that sense of guilt and shame attached to this um and i thought that by me sharing this video it can inspire you on how i went through it how i got through it it was not easy and i'm going to tell you in detail on how did it happen why did it happen how much money i really lost and how actually dealt with all of this stuff so please take this video as just a story from someone who made a stupid mistake someone who didn't know what he was doing so without further ado let's get straight into it okay let's start with the why why did it happen in the first place and in order for me to tell you why i need to give you a background story of my financial situation over 10 years ago my parents were born in indonesia and my parents moved to auckland new zealand when i was 15 years old so growing up it was very difficult especially as a second generation immigrant in a new foreign country with no friends no family we had to start from zero and there was no government support for us because of the visa that we were in so it was very difficult and money is always the only thing that we talk about at dinner table we constantly think about how can we make more money how can we pay rent and i was living paycheck to paycheck i was doing my best i graduated from university with my bachelor of commerce and i started working in the office full time but then i still had to work part-time after my full-time job in my parents business because that's all they could do because they couldn't speak english really well and the only skill they had was just making food so my my dad opened up a takeaway shop so that's where i spent majority of my youth working in the shop while studying full-time so it goes on year after year then my parents were able to buy a place for him for themselves for us and i had to contribute to the mortgage payments and i remember um i used to make about 40 000 a year 45 000 gross income per year it was not a lot of money i was living paycheck to paycheck with no savings because everything i had had to go to the mortgage so i thought to myself i had to think of a way on how can i earn more money and i came across day trading or cfd trading contracts for difference so i open up an account after i sign up on the ig account i started to learn day trading support resistance follow the trend and all that jazz pretty much just the basic of trading when to cut loss and how to be disciplined when to take profit when you go by when you go short long and here and there so i started trading um cfd on australian index that was what i was trading on asx 200 and i started making money okay and because whatever i bought went up all the time and then i remember i was making like five thousand dollars a month and then i did that for two months so everything was going so well and i thought to myself how come this day trading so easy okay so then i started to open up bigger position i started to make more money until one day the rba the reserve bank of australia increased the interest rate and that's when my investment started to go south the index didn't go up as much so my trading started to go south and i started panicking because i didn't cut loss on time i thought i'm just gonna wait and then it kept on dropping and dropping and dropping and i started losing money you know i started open up a buy position a sale position i started to do hedging and all this strategy and it was all over the place um to cut the story short i started to lose money okay and then i started to lose all my gain i started to lose five thousand dollars ten thousand dollars and then i put more money in i actually took cash out from my visa i put another 10 grand in and i just started losing money and i started panicking and during that time there was a business partner of mine and to actually conceal the identity let's just call him bill i started telling billy about my problem and then look i don't know what should i do should i close up all my position and all this stuff and then billy said that look i'm gonna help you out i'm going to lend you some money okay actually billy got the money from his mom his mom actually gave him some of the money i don't know like hundred thousand two hundred thousand i can't remember and um he started helping me so i thought okay let's just do this trading together and then i borrowed some money from billy i think i bought about twenty thousand thirty thousand dollars okay and bear in mind this was when i was earning forty five thousand a year and i actually didn't understand about the risk i didn't have the knowledge i didn't have the mental strength to deal with this and i realized that trading is all about mental strength it's not just about strategy because when everything went south that's when you know or that's how you can actually deal with it and it comes with experience so i started to borrow money from bill and then guess what i lost it all and then by this time it was about fifty thousand dollars okay so fifty thousand was um right about the new zealand dollar amount okay fifty thousand dollars it was a lot of money and then i told bill look bill i'm so sorry what happened and i'm going to stop now like i gave up i don't want to do this anymore okay so that's it no more from me okay i'm going to work hard i'm going to pay you back as soon as possible from my salary and bill said not i'm not taking that i want my money back okay why don't i help you bill said that to me and i said sure you know are you sure you want to do this and i thought to myself yeah i want to recover all the money so bill started putting more money in another eight thousand dollars another ten thousand dollars and what happened was i started taking on more risk i started making bigger positions not because i want to win big and i want to make myself rich but i just wanted to earn more money so that i can pay back all the losses that i've done and this is where everything went wrong instead of i started making more money i started losing more money by this time i actually understand the mentality of gamblers when gamblers lose a lot of money i understand that a lot of times they actually wanted to make more money so that they can pay back their debts and i was just really stupid how did i get into this situation i just couldn't believe what i did so bill started helping me and we started bigger making bigger position and from 50 000 losses 10 to 60 000 and then he put more money in become seventy thousand eighty thousand and there was a point where i had a long position short position i had the hedging and it's just all over the place every time i buy it went down every time i i sell it went up it's just all over the place a very big position and i had the floating loss because it's a cfd it's using leverage again that's why leverage is very very dangerous guys very dangerous do not trade on leverage to lower your risk okay that's what i went through and i remember at one point i have to close a 50 000 position i had to cut my losses 50 000 guys it was more than my yearly salary it's just crazy and we started to wake up at night we started to monitor the position at 4 am in the morning because with cfd the trading happens 24 7 for 5 days a week and we started losing more and more money and i just so stressed and i remember it was around december time early december we closed out all my positions it was about a hundred thousand dollar loss i just couldn't believe what i've done and then we got really really stressed out and the worst thing about it was bill didn't tell his mom until we lost a hundred thousand australian dollars that was the worst thing and not only that two weeks after we closed all the position the market went up because of what we call santa claus rally that was the first time i actually heard that and if we would have just hold on to our position only two weeks if we just held on to our position we probably wouldn't lose a hundred thousand we're probably going to lose maybe about 80 80 000 you know still 20 000 or more and i was like oh my gosh you know like how did this happen to me what have i done and i went to a depression mode after we sold everything we closed all the position and i was telling myself maybe this is it for the first time in my life i had suicidal thoughts you know maybe i should just kill myself and um i understand totally about depression and all that from this experience and i just didn't know what to do at one point on that early december after i closed all my positions i actually knelt down and i prayed to the man upstairs it doesn't matter what you believe in whether you believe in universe or god so i prayed to god and said maybe i should just end my life here because i was so shameful very shameful to my parents very shameful to myself to bill's mom there are not many friends that i told them what really happened but luckily i had a lot of support around me at the time and i told my mom and dad one of the thing that really carries a lot of guilt until today was i told my mom and dad look i can't afford to help you on paying the mortgage anymore sooner or later we need to stop paying and there is no other way other than we have to sell the house my mom was crying at the time it was it was just very shameful to me and told her to sell the house that she really loves because she always wanted to to buy a a brick and towel house and i told her i told my dad that we had to sell because i couldn't pay off the mortgage anymore and we reluctantly sell the house and by selling the house because we still have a lot of mortgage to it so by selling the house i only got like ten thousand dollars back and i gave it to bill and that house today it's worth about nine hundred thousand dollars and then when i actually saw what really happened i was like oh my gosh just because of ten thousand dollars i mean ten thousand dollars is a lot for a lot of people but at the time ten thousand dollars is now a lot of money it wasn't like a fifty thousand dollars and because of ten thousand dollars that i got we sold the house and until today we didn't get to or we were not able to buy that house anymore until today and honestly until today this is the thing that still stings because it's okay if i made a mistake i own it i paid back i work hard for it it's okay but then when you are actually hurting your family members or people around you that loves you that's very difficult and it took me a long time to actually forgive myself so if you are watching this video and you are feeling a similar thing and and you don't know what to do please do reach out to my instagram i would love to help you i would love to talk to you and because this is very sensitive and there are not too many people have gone through what i've gone through so there are not too many people understand what it feels losing a lot of money from day trading or from investing or you get scam or because because you thought to myself how could i have done this like you know like how come you are so stupid that's what i felt all right guys i'm going to show you my trading statement okay over here this is all my profits 63 000 australian dollars and then 157 so in total i lost about 98 000 and then plus the three thousand so it's over a hundred thousand dollars australian dollars and then every time i look at this i felt like what have i done you know it's it's sort of like i don't know how i went through that depression honestly and i told bill i'm going to pay back but you know is there any way we can um split the losses or things like that and i told bill that and um he was yeah sure um so he talked to his mom and we decided that i was gonna pay back 65 000 that's nzt and then it took me two and a half years to pay back the loan okay no matter how hard i prayed there was no money coming in from from heaven or any miracle like that that didn't happen okay so but then for two and a half years i was just paying bill with everything i had i have no savings i pay back every single cent in two and a half years and then it was very difficult road because two and a half years wasn't a short amount of period and i actually didn't know how i actually went through it because at the time all i think about i just wanted to pay off my debt that's all i i was thinking about i was working i took some tutoring jobs on the side on top of my full-time job on top of helping my parents when i was trying to pay back my 65 000 there was a new regulation from the government that if you have got a lot of credit card for example 40 000 credit card you can actually just declare bankrupt and i didn't like i would be blacklisted for maybe seven years or something like that and then after that you are going to be in a clean slate and honestly thinking about that i actually had that thought maybe i should just go for this uh shortcut i'm going to borrow 40 000 and then take all the money pay back bill and then i'm just gonna declare myself bankrupt i actually had that thought but you know what luckily i didn't do it because i knew that was not the right thing to do i just knew that i shouldn't have done it it went against my values so i didn't do it and then later down the years i realized that i made the right choice because i actually got my chartered accountant public accountant and then in order for me to become a chartered accountant or public accountant i should not have any history of bankruptcy that's one of them so a few years ago if i would have done that i wouldn't become a chartered accountant i wouldn't have able to increase my income because once you become a public accountant um you are registered and then you can actually increase your salary because of the qualification you had so i was so thankful so if you are in this situation and you are trying to get a shortcut to pay off your debt by getting into a i don't know whatever whatever shortcut you are trying to do my suggestion is don't do it okay just put your head down work hard pay it off you're gonna pay it off and as for me it was a very painful two and a half years but it really taught me a lot of lessons so these are the lessons that i learned assess the risk do not take too much risk and if you are in a position that you can't take risks as in day trading or leverage trading or crypto trading whatever trading do not do it because it would be better for you to do three or three jobs because it is guaranteed money when you are working for people you can work at mcdonald's for 80 hours a week that is the lower risk than taking on all these riskier investments including day trading okay so i'm just talking about day trading here because that's what i went through i learned about risk management i learned about money management um i i started to learn about investing you know um everything is about long term don't go for short term go for long term don't think about one year return or two years return you know think about 10 years 10 years a decade i also learned about investing in the knowledge investing in knowledge in whatever investment you are going through invested for me i should have invested more on maybe mentorship for day trading but i didn't do it at the time there was not too many products or not too many online courses about day trading and all that stuff that was not available it's available today but not back then so investing in your knowledge is the best investment you could have ever done another lesson i learned was because of that depression period that i went through i'm not easily shaken with anything that happens in my life because today at least you know we could live comfortably we could save some money from our investment from our jobs that actually put me on another level the mental strength because honestly investing is like mindset you probably know the step by step okay i need to buy a house for example or i need to buy an investment long term and then when you don't have that experience or mental mental capacity it's very difficult like you can tell anyone any opportunity on investment for example like a good deal on on property or um shares quite obvious it's very cheap now but then they're like oh what if it keeps on dropping it doesn't really matter so it's all about mindset and i learned a lot about mindset and since then on i educate myself i keep on investing on myself and i became a better investor so yeah those are the lessons that i learned and my painful experience i hope this video can help you if you are in this situation again please do reach out to me in my instagram do not go through this alone tell your parents your closest friends if you are in this situation honestly they will forgive you they will forgive everything that you've done because they love you for who you are not for what you've done or you haven't done if i could go through it if i could have done it paying off in two and a half years so can you so thank you very much for listening to me until the end and i will see you guys in the next video
2021-09-15 22:41
