The Grand Tour S1E3 sub coming soon
To everybody thank you so much. This, is the Grand Tour and this week we've, come home. We're. Actually in. Yorkshire. Witches. Which is where all three, of us grew, up specifically. Yep specifically. We're. In the fishing, port of Whitby, there it is I. Will. Be of course is famous all around the, world for, its unbelievable, fish, and chips with scraps. What. Fish. And chips with scraps you get scratches, a little bits of batter that stay in the bottom of the fryer scraps. That's great some chips with bits no it's crap. It. Is bit. Right. Hands up four bits wrong. Scraps. Argue, with me. Because. I was born in Yorkshire, every. Single, one of my family back to the 17th, century from Yorkshire and the most Yorkshire, person in the world so yeah, you, know it's funny cuz you you can't tell you really wouldn't know Yorkshire. People are famous aren't they for speaking, their mind and. With you we, we. Never know what you thinking, is all, about what am I thinking now you're, thinking. You're brilliant and I'm an irritating, little short ass. Yeah. Psyching other. Things, you're just famous for cricket. That's not interesting oh and then there was a TV show called last. Of the summer wine which is about three very badly. Dressed, old men. And. Everything, they ever did went wrong. Rubbish. Let's, put it this way it's not exactly the Detroit, of the British aisle it's. Not but there is a lot of motoring related stuff here this week because we're. In. Victorian. Times when, James, May was a little old lady. See. Back then. Gentlemen. Of means rich, people in tweed suits rich people in tweed suits would take what, was known as the Grand Tour they'd, go off to France or Italy and they'd spend a few months learning, about culture. And wine and music nowadays. Of course everybody goes to Magaluf, and learns about beer, and vomit, and chlamydia. Yeah. Now we think this is a real shame so Jeremy, and I went off to Italy to do our own modern. Take on the, Grand Tour, a wonderful. Inspirational. Journey that, not only gave its name to this show but, also to a thousand, GT, cars, grand. Tourers. Our. Start, point was the Tuscan, hilltop, city of Siena. Home. To, the most exciting, horse race in the, world the, perio. It. Was the beginning of what would be a very fabulous and, very cultured. Journey. We'd. Visit the Magnificent. Cities of Florence and belong here in Verona on our way to the finishing point in the most magnificent. City of them all, Venice.
The. Cars we'd be driving were fabulous, -. James. Had chosen the rolls-royce dawn, a new two-door. Drophead version, of the ghost. And I'd, be in daddy, be 11, the latest, in a long line of elegant, and beautiful, Aston. Martin, grand tourers. Even. Its door mirrors, are beautiful, wheels, are beautiful, this. Is this. Is one of the most beautiful. Cars I've, ever seen, shame, it's brown it's. Brown. It's. Sunset orange it's, not brown in the way that my car is green it's brown, your. Car is a convertible, BMW 7-series. No it isn't but, is it a 7 Series underneath, bits. Of the floor pad. 265. Thousand pound for a convertible, 7 suit it isn't if you're going to drive across Italy which we're going to do taking, in some culture. That's. What you need a brown, car it isn't brown. Look, let's. Not bicker. Actually. On this occasion, let's, get, on we. Are both going to drive across up, what is I think our favorite country in the world enjoy. Some culture enjoy. Some fine wines and food some, artists. Sorry. We, didn't know you were coming we rather hope you were well I am and look at the car overall Dodge, Challenger, SRT. Hellcat. 707. American, horsepower, and enough torque to pull. An old building down just, that, old building, is it that one never mind Hammond Tuscany. Not, really the home of the muscle car yeah. You see I was worried you two we're gonna be all boring and serious, and, I am here to make sure this trip is fun because don't tell me the original grand tour wasn't fun it was like an 18th century Cannonball. Run only. With old-fashioned, morphine instead of cocaine this is gonna be brilliant, what's with your advertising well because the Americans used to do the Grand Tour and they, used to get sponsors, to help cover the cost so I've got myself some sponsors Bobby's, what is a grid that's a it's a bit. Left over after coffee or potatoes, I don't know it's what's there rodeo. -. Yep look at that the, thing is people will look at me in that and know I am on a Grand Tour yeah those isn't what are these two old farts doing seriously. You, have made no effort you haven't got into the mood for this art music. Culture. Refinement. Yes is this something to do is, this something to do with you yes yes there these are my spare tires, because.
On, A trip like this in a car with that much power and that much talk I'm gonna get in sometimes three yep. That. Lot was not gonna fit in the boot or trunk was, it. Those. Luxury, that is granter reluctantly. We agreed to let our vulgar colleague, tag along. I'm. Injured deliberately, making an irritating. Noise please. Stop, it. I. Will. Freely, admit that Hammonds. Dodge Hellcat, is a, remarkable. Car. Perfect. If we were attractive. All in Milwaukee. But. We're not. We're. Here and here. In, Tuscany. You. Need one of these. This, is the. All-new. Replacement. For the db9, and, it is the. Perfect, car for the job. It. Even comes with three, running modes you've got Sport. Sport+. And the one I'm going to use. GT. Grand. Touring. Up. Front, there's a 5.2. Litre. Twin-turbocharged. V-12 which. Produces. 600. Horsepower and. They, are. You'll. Be able to buy a cheaper, version of this car with an AMG, v8. It's. All part of a deal, Aston have done with Mercedes, didn't see evidence, of the deal already this has got the safety switch gear Mercedes, electronics, even got Mercedes, sat-nav. And. I've, got to say. Aston. Martin a Mercedes, that is the best. Anglo-german. Marriage, since. Queen, Victoria, married Albert. James. Though, disagreed. Actually. This is the best anglo-german. Marriage. It's, perfect, in fact because, it has all the things that we like to think of as being Britishness. In a car the sense that it, was made by men in aprons, that there are craft skills, and traditional. Materials, involved but then you've got the Germans there with their high-tech and their their manufacturing. Efficiency. Absolutely. Wonderful. It's, it's. Very serene. There. Are a lot, of numbers I could quote on this guy you know the usual top, speed power, nought to 60 all that sort of irrelevant rubbish but I'm not going to because that would be, frankly. Uncouth. Talking. About cous. Got that big bass, rumble, and roar from them 6.2. Liter v8 heavy, and. Over-the-top, that, shrill, manic, whine of the supercharger. Neither, is in a particularly, economical. One at, full chap, it'll chew through its 18 and a half gallon, fuel tank in, just, 13 minutes and. In. Fact it, needs so much air to mix with all that petrol it's drinking, there, to remove one of the headlights and replace, it with a ram air intake, to, feed air to the engine, so. This what it's I for, a nostril. The. Upside, of all this however is, that it's extremely, fast. Standing. Chords are faster than a Porsche 911 gt3, but. It costs fifty thousand you, could have five of these for one of James Mays Rolls Royces. That, is a genuinely.
Horrible, Noise they're Hammonds cars making and he he just keeps doing it, keeps. Stamping, one pedal then stamping. The other one and he's binary, style. Sadly. The engine noise wasn't, the only irritation. Is. This just good to be a tour of Italy's petrol stations, waiting. Pens how far apart they are isn't it really look. At this way think of the snacking, opportunities, you come to Italy for food, yeah. But not crisps, no not crisps and. Sausage. You don't know what you're gonna find it'll be different in different doses. Well, are. There any renascence petrol stations we can visit rather only when they sold sausage rolls in their articles, having filled up his car and himself. We, were back on the road. A quick. Situation. Update, I'm. Driving. Through sunny it shut. Up. Bad. News James I'm afraid there's a tunnel coming up. Just. Relax enjoy a bit of quiet. Soon. We arrived in the renaissance city of florence a traditional. Stopping, point on the grand tour of old. Architecture. We're. Here for, this. Is why we're here. Best. Of all though James, and I had managed to lose Hammond. Honestly. I wouldn't, say this lightly but I have developed a genuine, deep. Deep, heartfelt, hatred. For that thing I can, tell you're Gator girl like Inspector, Dreyfus in, the Pink Panther film soon no you're not wrong I've developed a twitch when he comes near it I'm waiting for that stupid. Noise it makes like my eyes starts, quivering it's, like somebody constantly, being sick on you while you're trying to read a nice book. As. We. Were on our own Jeremy. And I decided to, head for the renowned you fitzy, gallery. Where. We would enjoy a bit of peace and quiet as we appreciate, it its treasures. Because. It's donut, time yeah. Finally. Bring some life into this place. After. Hammond, had fitted some new tires. James. And I abandoned, our visit to the ofit's II and. Escorted. Him out of town. Hammond. We could see the smoke from your tires from the other side, of the city. Nobody. In history, has ever ever. Donated. An Aston Martin yeah. They're not young buyers are they. I. Envy. You because, you get to look at my Aston Martin. Yeah. But there's a big problem with it visually, what. It's. Brown. Sunburst. Orange, that's. What it is. Jeremy. I shouldn't worry we all know the expression, brown sky at night Shepherd's, delight. Starting. To imagine what Richard Hammond would look like without a head. Or. Skin. Hammond. Had finished rubbishing, the Astin's color he, started, to challenge its performance. Wants. To get past. The. Top speed of that car of yours. 199. Miles an hour. Exactly. This will do 200. So back off. Rather. Than get into a pointless, war of words I, decided. To put Hammond, in his place and invited. Him to pull over here. At. The magellan, racetrack.
Why. Have you brought me to this not at all cultural, place because, I want to teach him a lesson about, what real speed, is he's got over 700 horsepower, yes I know but remember jaws big metal teeth huge man James, Bond Cyndi's threw him through a window and that's what I'm going to do to him do. You mind if I don't take part in this. So. Was Hammond had some new tires fitted. Again. I took, to the track. Was. Developed, by a former, Lotus engineer, but they actually told him to tune it more for comfort, than, handling. That. Being said this. House aluminium. Chassis and. Some. Aero trickery. Sucked. Into holes behind. The rear windows and then shot out of a. Vent of. The Buble giving, me a sort of air rear wing. Be. Great. Law. Degree. And. The traction, control is, simply, astonishing. Cause. It's like somebody hitting you on the head with a hammer but it's just going. There. You go. The. Hellfire this, is very very good. Certainly. It's good enough to be able to totally, destroy. Hammonds. Idiotic, Dodge. This, does not have a magnesium, roof carbon. Fiber proxy on the engine isn't made from aluminium it's made from cast iron and. You get the impression that I made from stone, if they could. What, it does have is, vast. Reserves of power. On. Character, this thing is just. Nicotine. In, his little brown Aston, being. All in control and just not having fun easy I mean what's the point. I. Can't, I'm. Sorry Hammond this is a 600. Horsepower rear-wheel. Drive Aston, Martin. So. I turn the traction control off and, all, hell broke loose. While. One. Of the purposes of the original ground tour wasn't just to look at things and learn about things it was also to enhance. Your capabilities, you would learn, to do things you might do there, writing sonnets, playing, musical instruments. Regional. Cooking maybe I'm having a go at watercolor. Painting, it's absolutely, delightful. Apart. From my reverie is occasionally, interrupted by the disgusting. Bellow of Hammonds, muscle car. This. Is not a particularly, cultural. Thing to do. Very. Good fun. Even. Though Hammond, and I were having a big smoky, riot we've learned nothing, at all. So. We decided to get scientific and do a proper, timed. Flying. Lab. This. Mattress. This. Is broken this is for your. Business. Just. Get round this as fast as we can. With, the flying lap completed we. Met to compare times. Gorman. I'm two, years. Eighteen, seconds. Yes, why what have you got what have you what are you in eighteen. Dude. But, you. Not me, no two minutes eighteen. Point. Seven nine, o'clock. For that I'm. A crushing, 3/5. What. Is hardly crushing, is it no cuz that's that's, why. You accepting, the challenge it's less than half a second, for, your extra hundred gram. Hardly. A big blow is it. Pounds. For half a second, and one miles an hour top speed 40. Years of Independence, and that's the best they can do. Helen. Cheered himself, up with some doughnuts. And. Then another. Set of tires. I went. To join James. Did. You beat him by the way yep. Good. Man. As. The. Sun slipped, behind the Tuscan hills we, spent an enjoyable hour or so painting. But. Then. We. Doing I'm, diffusing, a bomb Hammond, didn't, come doing, yeah I'm baking a cake looks. Like you're painting we are painting.
Hammond. And decided, he'd like to have a go as well. Soon. Our, art was finished, I. Think. Of rushed mine. Still. Could. Be worse. It. Was difficult before I saw this to imagine anything more hideous than the actual car, but. You've done it Hammond, it's. The way that you manage to eradicate. Any sense, of place. The. Car. Rolls-royce put, into that dawn to make it quiet and refined, and sublime and all those things you'd expect it all counts for absolutely nothing, if it's anywhere near your, dodge because that's all you, can hear do something, about that Hellcat, okay I've done some research into it the Hellcat is based on the old Chrysler 300c. Underneath it's the same car and the 300-seat, underneath, is a, 1990s. Mercedes. E-class, so, what Dodge is done with that thing if they put 700. Horsepower in a 20-year old taxi. Anyway. If, you want to listen to two old men, dribble. On, music. And opera whilst. I have fun there'll, be more of that later on but, now it's time for us to check, our mirrors and make. A smooth, left into, conversation. Street. I. Could. Say James was very, very excited. About coming to Whitby because he'd heard that, it's the center of the British jet industry, who's, very much looking forward to spending a couple of days maybe looking at old drawings, of Concorde but then he discovered that Whitby. Jet is, actually, this. It. Looks like coal is, cold yeah thing is though they've worked out obviously you can't burn coal anymore because Al Gore goes nuts and a polar bear falls over so they. Polish, it up and then, say it's precious, that's. Interesting this cuz I've got the the blurb here from Whitby's oldest, retailer. Effortless stuff and it says, unlike. Other gemstones. Jet. Is actually. Fossilized. Wood, yes, because unlike, other gemstones. It's, cold yeah. But. It's it's, go, Jim. Stones home and it's a lot cheaper oh yes. What. I knew Susie's like you can get a jet ring look 432, for. 10 quid it's cold thing. Is though no we were thinking the other day you know car makers now they used like bamboo, and ash and walnut and carbon fibre to decorate bits of a car why, don't they use jet. Exactly. Anyone, who'd like to have some jet in their car if see we've, been doing a little bit of experimenting and I've made a prototype this is a gear stick with.
A Jet, knob. On. The top it's. Brilliant I mean it's not polished yet but you change gear it, doesn't make your hand a bit. No. You're absolutely right because you know sometimes you drive an unfamiliar car you're on the motorway you think oh did I change into six yeah, I did. Here's. Some conversation, good for conversation Street and bad, news there is a problem right now in this country not, enough people are learning to drive, seriously. In 2007. Just. Over 16,000. Driving tests were conducted last, year that are dropped to four thousand, six hundred and fifty less. Than 10 years 16,000. Down, to four thousand babies and I know why it's because kids leave school these days they've no idea who Hitler was they can't add up they just know cars are bad that's all they love cars about cars of, cars about and then, when they do get out of school after work you know after school's finished they said they go around and you can just see speed cameras, and traffic jams inside saying please don't overtake, cyclists, and they think well what's the point there's no point learning to drive I might as well she's news Boober exactly, now if I were a car maker I would be fighting like a Kilkenny, cat to, make sure every, car I made, was, as interesting, and as amazing as possible but instead Renault. Think it was a CAD jar how, many children how. Many children, they're gonna sell if I weren't really hard. See. Were still nice and you could you really, hate the Jews no I hate it. I, object, to its existing, it shouldn't, exist I loathe it on the motorway you see them with this stupid. Like double, bug eyes, smug. Little but if I see one I'm mad, I can't help myself and it's cruel and I'm sorry if you're in one but I do I see them. What's. The most boring car, on sale in Britain today the question. That's. Out. Security. Kill him. Brown, Astin's, mud I tell. You what if I were the boss of Volkswagen, I've go, and find the man who did what's that tall golf called oh the. SV. SV. It's. Like a golf but for people who have stovepipe, hats and and I would bludgeon, him with a tire iron to. Pick what did, you do that nobody wants, one just to be fair think VW, have bigger concerns at the moment okay. I want to talk about the Oxford Ring Road I know, it's miles away from there it's miles away from, anybody watching but the thing is okay, for the last two, years they've. Been working on shrinking. Slightly. Shrinking, two roundabouts, and putting some traffic lights up now do you know how, much the budget was for, that job two, roundabouts ten ran around about I'd say 20 grand over nine. Million. Pounds. Million. Can you imagine the, builders, face when he came out of that meeting. Well. That's why it's taken him two years he had to make it look like nine million quid oh. This. Is not a word of a lie nine, million pounds to buy you a, thirty thousand, square foot house okay like this that. Is a nine million quid house to, build you know that or to shave roundabouts yes you know I believe it no no, actually no because and this again is not a word of a lie a few. Months ago build, a man and it must have been a bet, he went back to the council and he said I need, another million quid. I. Broke me spade. Can. I be cross for a moment with BMW. It would be difficult to stop you yes the thing was last, year they introduced, this they showed they won't look at that and everybody, went that is fantastic it's, an homage to the old CSL. Batmobile, from 72, and, it was good when are you gonna start making it they said oh no we're not we just made it just to show you what we could make. Well actually no doesn't matter because they've come up with something else instead this look this is actually. An homage to the original 2002. Which is the old car on the left and that I think actually looks pretty fab. Is are, they're gonna make it. Look. What we could make but not it's a good job BMW, don't run the emergency, services, isn't it oh look, you have drifted a long way from sure, there haven't you we could drag you back behind our speedboat will, you no no we just wanted you to know that we could what, they're being is pretty, tzer's oh, I. Don't. Think you can say that well so you can say no I don't say that. Is. It allowed that's. No different you just change the name it. Is what I'm saying prick or David penis, team's. Taking. A really bad turn. The. Point I'm trying to make is BMW, must stop doing that. Now. If. We had a Grand Tour medal, and we don't but if we did I know, who, the first recipient. Would be because, we had this amazing, story the other day you know speed, camera vans sit at the side of the road blacked-out windows, civil. Servant sitting inside watching, you porn okay.
Waited Together that's what there's waited with someone to trip his camera now someone the other day snuck. Up behind the. Speed camera man, quietly. Undid, its number plates put. Them on his own car, and. Drove past a hundred miles. That, is top top right can. I talk about the alpha-male Quadrifoglio, no why, because we'll get back to our film tonight, we are on a grand tour of Italy, there's James in a Rolls Royce Jeremy, in an Aston Martin and, me in a Dodge Hellcat, with two trucks full of tires so, I can do donuts whenever I want, yes, and we pick up the action on day two of, what was becoming, thanks, to him, the, journey from. How. As. The Sun, rose over, the silent, misty, Italian. Countryside. And. Hammond, extricated. His entourage from, the hotel car park. James. Lowered, the roof on his rolls-royce. For. A cornet, that. Is the silent, ballet there's, nothing silent, about your lorry so that's. How rolls-royce themselves. Described the, roof going up and down on there in this silent. Battle and ballet that's what they say they also talk about the dorm provides, an erotic. Tingle, on the skin. Rolls. Royce is, their words yes their bum they, also say the, car is a contemporary, take on the casino lifestyle, it is intended to attract. People. Sort. Of people people. What. People put their seatbelts on exactly, people who put, their seat belts on and off and relish both freedom and sophistication. Casino. Live steno lifestyle. What. Do, we go have. You got a seatbelt on. We. Then set, off and decided, to do a bit more road testing, of our cars, play, began by talking about, the Aston Martin's interior. On. The, upside. Aston. Martin of reprogrammed. The Mercedes, electronics. So, the warning, beeps and buzzes are now less. Germanic. If. You don't put the up seat belt on for example you, get a discreet cough and repeat rather than a klaxon, and somebody, shouting. Everything. Else the. Centerpiece, of this, dashboard. Here looks like a map and I put this like a lady, part and, then, the, door, line in here well it's just hideous looks, like a footballers. Kitchen. Worktop. It's. In Moline because I still have done such a good job but, the rest of this car I was staggered. By. How good it was at the track yesterday and. Yet they've let it all down with this ghastly, interior. In. Their Hellcat Hank J Hammond, burger hadn't noticed, the quality of the fixtures, and fittings he. Was too busy playing with, the toys. Gauges. In. The performance, mode screen, I can, measure g-forces. Braking. Distance, reaction, times quarter-mile, time. Irrelevant. Wobbles. I'll. Just see my average mpg. What. Is it. Six. Point six. Six. Miles, to the gallon I like. To think of it as a healthy, appetite, how. Many miles to the gallon does your Rolls Royce been, doing James made fifteen, point seven in, the last 48, hours, mine's. Been doing twenty-one, miles to the gallon. Yes. Cuz he's boring and that's because it's brown. And. With, that the road test ended, and another day of Hammond based irritation. Begin. You. Joiners, it's another petrol, station, I, don't. Need any but guess who does. This. Car is excellent for ornithologists, it's so quiet going along here I can listen to the birds. Genuinely. Am worried, about the, sanity, of Chief, Inspector Dreyfus. Many. Frustrating. Models later we reach the next stop on our grand tour the, region, around moderner which is home to three of the, world's, greatest, car, makers. And while. Hammonds sped off to, give his cultural, take on Lamborghinis, history, oh my. God that. Is pure filth James, and I went off to buy a goodbye present, for him I think. Scissor. Doors actually made, me horny and. When. He'd finished his Bryan Sewell routine. We. Met up to hand it over. We. Have had it done. It's. Brilliant, I know it's, in the style actually of an 18th century Italian artists, called Pompeii. A Bertoni who made a good. Living out of painting, visiting. Americans. On the grand tour and, making. Them look like refined. Cultured. English. Gentlemen, yeah think, of it as a souvenir, of your trip thank. You. Get. At the end exactly. While. Hammond struggled, to get the painting, in his car for the long trip back to England. James. And I set off alone into. The glory, that, is, Italy. My word look, at that view oh oh. That. Evening in, Verona we dined well at a michelin-starred. Restaurant, and then. We went to see something, called Carmen. Which wasn't. At all what we were expecting. The. Next morning we were up at first light to, attempt, another escape.
This, Has a quiet, stop facility, but, I don't know how it works. It's. Really quiet you still you. As. Firing, 80 tonnes a second, roughly. Don't. Drive. Car. Trouble. Yeah. Girl. Aston you see it's broken down anyway look you've got to get it going cuz I'm gonna be down again in a second changed and ready to roll. Whilst. Hammond, was upstairs, chiseling. Off his sweat. James. And I made, a run for it and in. Case he caught up with us on the motorway, we, took some precautions. This. Is, the work of, the, genius. We. Are now protected. From Mr Hammond completely. James's. Head was middle of problem, with this plan but we've solved it. Don't. Worry if you don't recognize me viewers, it's me the. Question, was would. Richard Hammond recognize, him, here. Comes Richard Hammond now just look straight ahead, look, straight ahead and, the answer was not. Looking oh. God. He's waving, at me. Whilst. James unwrapped, himself, and Richard filled up through his ruin'd present, I had, another, brainwave. I'm. Gonna lead him into the center, of vicenza, yeah yes. I've. Sent out a tweet to put this on Facebook saying that Richard Hammond will be appearing in the main square okay. So. He gets held, he's. Mobbed yes, we scalp up there, you go dude I like it we then it's an Italian yes. The. Only thing is I've made a slight mistake I have actually said here that Richard Hammond will be I wanted to say appearing but I put exhibited. Himself. Well. I'll get a crowd. Back, on the move I put my plan into action. Well, we did we turn off that the motorway, here Hammond Vicenza is got a don't nothin area in it see. Ya. Now old statues, there's the Starbucks. McDonald's. Dunkin. Donuts. I'm. Right under James I think. They've got an American football team haven't they in Vicenza. Red. Bears, okay. Whatever. Little mooch about. Soon. We were approaching the center of the town I. Just. Need a crowd big, enough to keep him occupied for, 20. Minutes, and. How many people will have read my tweet a. Couple. Of hundred. I was. Nearly right oh. My. God. Really. Wrong. This. Has gone so. Ocularly. Wrong. Is, there an event on. It's, Mr Hammond looking, for. Mr.. Hammond is in the dog. Oh this, is nothing. Is. He always this busy here what's going on today. Look. At that we're free and having this stuck. Yes, yes. We're. Out, Hammond. Is. Doomed. Leaving. Hammond, in what he thought was the muscle-car capital, of Italy. James. And I headed, out of town. Right. Good venice 23. Miles away. I think. It's. Fair to say that this entire. Trip has been a total. Disaster, but. The, Aston Martin has, been the complete opposite. It. Was much much better than I thought it was going to be on the track it's. Staggeringly. Civilized, and quiet on the road really, is a superb. Grand. Tourer and it is achingly. Pretty. Especially. With this usable. Orange. Paintwork. Jeremy. May have been won over by his Brown Aston, but, I was truly, smitten. With the Rolls Royce. What. Is it about a rolls-royce a lot of people would say this isn't, a car, lovers, car it's not sporty, it's not dynamic, doesn't, have any modes for you to set you can't even change the gears you can only put it in forward or reverse, and, yet. I think. This, is a car for people who love cars because it gives you an entirely, different, driving. Experience, there is no other car that's quite like a Rolls Royce no other car that kha'zix, you in the same way this, is a car that is kind, to, you I. Think. It is actually impossible to be unhappy, if you're driving this car and look at some of the things I've had to put up with Richard, Hammond, Richard Hammond Richard Hammond the Dodge Hellcat, Richard Hammond the Dodge Hellcat, and I'm still, happy. As. We arrived in Venice we were in good spirits. And. The. Next morning we did was all our predecessors, on the Grand Tour would have done, we. Took in the sights from. The water. So. Nice without Hammond. Dinner. Last night nice, to be able to order food without somebody going yes but have you got any chips yeah, where's. The ketchup. He's. Never ever good to get out of that square I mean never I assume, he's been crushed to death by net all torn apart. You. Seen there yeah. An. Inappropriate. Brand, how, about orange. Is. That a lack around here I'm surprised, actually. I'm.
Gonna Thought these hellcat was bad. That's, really inappropriate don't. Do that. Don't. Do that. Not. Only did, you knock us into, these sewage, infested. Waters of Venice, you. Cut the, present we gave you in half. No hang on a minute no it was only like a two piece jigsaw puzzle and I put it back together again look there it is see. Perfect. Hammond, yes art, galleries, do, not saw artworks, in half just to. Get them up the stairs you moron, anyway. Listen before we move on can I just say something about that Aston Martin not to wind you too up I genuinely mean this it's an amazing, guy I know the, steering wheel is square and it was brown yes, and I know the interior, wasn't very nice but genuinely. It's effectively, it's been living up here ever, since I got back and talking, of up here it's, now, time to play, celebrity. Brain, crash. For. A top celebrity to. Try their hand at are fearsome. Tests of skill coordination, and. Observation. Now so, far I should explain no. Celebrity. Has actually, made it to the 10th no they've all died yes but, our fingers. Are crossed for this week because our guest is a huge. Star you'll. Have seen him, in Mission. Impossible Star. Trek Shaun, of the Dead. Hot. Fuss and he's, here to talk about his new movie Spielberg. Movie ready player one ladies. And gentlemen we've, got Simon, Pegg. Cornetto. Who. Was a tornado he's, battled, aliens, he's. Battled, zombies, he should have no problem, at all with the short stroll, through this pretty little town because, of all his films it's Paul that I like best I think that stands out it was the forerunner of Ted rosy, pink it was first it came first Hot Fuzz Hot Fuzz for me it's just because of the fight scene there. He is is on the bridge just. Like he's been hassled by seagulls. Thereafter. His cornet oh I think yeah. Thereafter his cover. Literally. Nothing we can do reputation. Does. That mean he's not coming on then well James, he. Fell into the harbor and the icy waters of the North Sea are now filling his lungs it said no he's not. Well, look I. Anticipated. Something, like this did you yes, and so, I prepared, something else we can do to fill the time, it's. This okay you know Google, have been trying, to build a self-driving. Car for, seven years they've been at it with a picture of it here it's absolutely, hideous and I was thinking well how hard can it be Oh God.
Ten. Days ago I thought well I'll give it a bash okay and I've already finished it have, you yes it's here. Yes it's here let's bring it out it's phone operate it so. No. Here it comes right forwards, forwards. Please. Try not to be distracted by the heroine, seems. Of. Left. Left, straight. The. Heroine scenes of Simon's, lifeless. Corpse being fished. For. Some people, right, okay we need to make a bit of a hole in the crowd back here because I'm going to bring it into the tenth studio so you can see how brilliant have been, forwards. Oh. Stop. It's. Not brilliant it's hideous is what it is okay it's, hideous I've copied Google's, styling completely, is, that, a, septic. Tank yes, it is. Cut. In half and then I've mounted on the top this, chaise. Longue so the owner can recline. In great comfort yeah yeah how does it actually work brilliantly. Down. Here very small little, camera that feeds, a view of the road ahead to. The system, in somewhat, cysts, well, there's bonnets here come around I'll show you the the, gubbins, ready, there. It is well. It's just a man. No. No. Not just a man this is a Romanian. Man I, am. Providing, employment, for, newcomers to our country, Oh God. Do, you mean Oh God, think about it Google, yes Google they, use electronics. To take away the work of a man this gives him a job, it gives him dignity, dignity. Yes dignity, it's. A bit feudal, it's. A bit brilliant, is what it is let me close the bonnet and then I go for my first ever travel go sit foot of our stairs here. Which. Is it Yorkshire expression, is, it's so easy to get in and out of you new look, there, I am. And. Now I don't need the phone I can use my speaking tube. What's. Romanian, for backwards in no UPI think in, the European it is obviously, spoiling, this. Google, hasn't made it work I have, in. It backwards, I'll just stick to English backwards. Backwards. British. Engineering. Ladies, and gentlemen, with. Romanian, parts. What. A combination. That is, the. Arab. Ahead. Whatever. Anyway. I'm, glad he's, gone. So am I now I'm particularly, glad because of what's coming up next oh. Yes. Right. At the beginning of the series Jeremy, Clarkson said when we're at a racetrack, in, Portugal, and he said it on the television, that. If his McLaren p1 wasn't. Faster, than, Hammonds Porsche nominate or my Ferrari the Ferrari, we. Could knock his house down, well it wasn't, so one, weekend, when Jeremy was away, we-well. Roll. The tape. This. Is it, 200. Years old and built from beautiful, Cotswold, stone, now. Odds make it absolutely, clear that this is Jeremy. Clarkson's, actual, house, yeah it really is I'd swear to my children's lives on that it's Jeremy's, house he bought it when he fell in love with the view it, is a lovely view actually. It'd be. Even better soon without a house in it. Our. Plan, was to smash, the place down with some big demolition. Equipment, but. There was a problem in. This. Country you, can't knock a house down, if the council find, evidence of bats living.
In It well I did and now we've been told we've got to take the roof off quietly, and by hand to, give the bats the chance to go and live elsewhere. James. Our corner but notice I am, doing all of the work here, yet you're gonna have to I don't like it it's, just a ladder it's a simple enough thing to operate, climb, it know if you're Mears not how, many bats are there one one, yes a bat, just, kill it we'll get a prison, mate we can't well just because that little winged Mouse bastard, is hanging upside down in there feeling smug with himself cuz I'm up this ladder we can't knock the house down yeah we've got to do it no choice so get up here and get on with it I'm. Like I hate I hate Heights, you know what I hate ladders I hate bats. Many. Hours, later and with no help at all from spider-man, the, roof was finally, off and that that was free to move but. Would it why. Doesn't it go live in there because let's be honest that's perfect, if you're a bat well, it might but it's got to decide to, do so, can. We encourage it, yes. Gems weren't you gonna stand in that barn and squeak, in a sultry and erotic, manner. That. Night, spider-man, stood in the barn squeaking, in a sultry and erotic, manner. And. The. Bat eventually. Succumbed. So. The next morning we, were ready to go. It. Really works this rocks. At. This rate we've been done and dusted in no time, however. My, phone nikidik, colleague, had, an issue. Stop. You, don't just smash, it to pieces as opposed to sort of dismantle. It and leave it in neat piles it's all to be tidied up you can't just leave it like that it's. Actually, quicker if you do it methodically Oh God. Neat. Piles of bits in the house that thing can be carted away you need to work on that bit and that, bit to start with then the rest of it will fall down meet me into a heap okay you make even this boring, it's not boring it's the way it's that I've watched it done that's how you do it you don't just smash it up I'll do it, James. Then commandeered. My machine. So. I got another one and carried, on regardless. It's. Like winning one of those things at the fair. Thanks. To me at least progress, was being made. However. Stuck. On something, Oh. Broken, Madiga oh dear. With. Me out of action and James, achieving. Nothing, a new. Approach was needed but. First we, had to clear the site of Jeremy's, most treasured possessions. Shakira. Shakira. Shakira. Oh. Is. A strong. Image. It's. A tiny doll with pins in it and your, face. Well. This is his photo album, it's probably really precious oh. It's. A bit disturbing, oh. They're. All of me yep. At. This point we decided not, to clear, the site of his treasured, possessions, and moved swiftly, to plan B. Short. Ceremony say a few words. That. Got. It. Let's. Just get this straight. You. Blew, up. That. Picture. Of me on the horse yep. And. On that terrible disappointment, it's time to end thanks for watching, see. You next week. You.
2019-12-03 16:14
