Ricky Armellino, Chris Kelly | Hillhaven (Living your dreams, Eating eyes, Touring with Metallica)

Ricky Armellino, Chris Kelly | Hillhaven (Living your dreams, Eating eyes, Touring with Metallica)

Show Video

Hello, everybody. Welcome to the RiffHard podcast. Eyal Levi here. My guests today are good friends of mine who are returning to the podcast.

Mr. Ricky Armellino and Chris Kelly. Ricky is known for being guitar player in the band Ice Nine Kills and also a really great producer and songwriter. Chris Kelly is a former touring guitar player for Ice Nine Kills touring guitar player for another really big band that I can't mention, and just one of the most talented people I know in the industry. Also a really, really good studio engineer. Good vocalist, do at all. But they have a new band called Hill Haven, which is debuting right about now.

So I figured why not bring them back on and let's do it. For anyone who's listening right now, you're probably not going to get all of the B-roll of us eating chicken and trying to figure out Zoom. But that's Matt. It's a shame.

You should you should get that as its own episode. Hill Haven. Yeah. Hell Haven. Yeah. Hell Haven. I mean, I know it's Hill Haven, but Hell Haven. I've got a couple people.

Is there still a time to change it to that? No. Okay. Yeah. It's not going to be that bad. So how do you guys have time to do a new band? We don't. We're just doing it anyway. You can literally see how hurt I am in the videos.

I'm, like, recovering from an injury over here and. Yeah, no, I. I think we're just kind of overachievers, and we have to be doing something all the time. Which is so awesome. Yeah, Yeah, it's. It's just. We just can't stop being asked.

To stop when and. No, but for real, Like, I mean, for me, I had to ask myself the same thing when restarting the band. One of the reasons I didn't start playing for a long time because I thought about it a few times was like, I know what's going to happen is it's going to be casual for like two weeks and then the psychotic thing is going to kick in and then it's going to get serious and then we're going to get signed again. And it's just going to I know what's going to happen and it's going to take over my life. Do I really want this? And so.

It's that, you know, do I want to ruin everything again? Yeah. Like looking at back, like. Things are going so things are going so well. Like, yeah, I want to fuck up. But like, I guess the question is not why do you want to fuck up your lives? Cause you already did you guys play music for a living? But yeah, yeah, but why would you want to fuck it up even more? We can't say who you play for, right? And you can. I'm pretty sure you can put it in the description and no air. Yeah, Yeah. But.

So we're not a. Prominent banned from. Driving have been. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not supposed to say I do that. You can Google that.

Do you go. Through the map. So but I think I think there's something about being a project like that where your attention starts moving away from just like the music side of things where you like when you're young and you start a band, what do you do? You obsess over the music and you're just like, music means music. And then once you've been touring for a while, then all of a sudden you find out you're like, Wait, there are like hundreds of things that I can obsess over. And that starts looking really appealing because you just you look at the stage show where the lights go, you know, how's the marketing rollout going to be? What are the videos going to look like? How are the photos going to be? What kind of resentful ness am I going to desire out of my texts? You know what I mean? That you just what, you just want to try it again? I can all see just seriousness that he did touch on something about that.

I didn't think about the last time that we tried talking about this. The like he said, when you start out, like when you start playing music as a kid and you start a band like your idea of what success is going to be is very narrow typically, right? It's like, I'm going to start a band. My band is going to get signed and that is going to be my life, right? And for a lot of us, that's not how it goes. And we get to look ourselves in the mirror every day and go, Your band didn't make it.

That's why you're here. We've moved your life just a little yet. But I mean, do you really look in the mirror and say that.

We have before? Actually during when I was when I was out with what? And we want. To know what that was about. That was a 40 week when we just started. We just started talking into the mirror in front of everybody in the dressing room. Never. It's a really thought. So yeah.

Joe, Joe said the funniest one. Like we were like there was hard laughter. Like the laughter of like man who just heard, like a hard truth but have no other way of processing it. Joe just looks at the mirror, goes, You're only here because nothing else worked out.

Well, you have to do this. Yeah. So like I said, you have a very narrow idea of what success is going to look like when you're starting out and then your focus shifts at some point. Like, like for me, the trajectory was, you know, my own shit.

And then Galactic and then the the band that I play for now and I sign kind of, kind of swapping back and forth. And within those different jobs, it was like, okay, well, you know, maybe now I can learn about like with Galactic, I was doing a lot of like tour managing stuff. So was like, I can try to learn about the touring and focus on the business side of that. And then with Ice Nine and my current gig, it was like, okay, well this is you know, I'm not I'm not contributing to this creatively. So it's my chance to really just focus on like my ability as a player, right? And at a certain point, at least for me along the way, what your job just becomes a job, you know, like still really grateful for the position that I find myself in.

Not a lot of people get to do this, but like you just start looking at it like work and. Which it. Is. Yeah, yeah, right. And I know, but like you, you kind of look at it the same way in certain cases as like somebody who's going to work a 9 to 5 is just like, oh, you know, all right, packing up, going to, you know, going to Japan again, whatever it is like, which is a crazy thing to get jaded about.

But I've never been to Japan. It's it's definitely a top tough three. Sounds wonderful. Yeah, it's great. You want to see it so bad. But but so all this, all this being said, like eventually I just kind of hit a point where I kind of had to, like, figure out why I still liked this, if that makes sense. Like, because I just got so used to it that it just became really easy to complain about stuff.

And I realized within that process that, like, I have kind of lost the creative side, you know, Hey, all you know about my other band illustrious that I've had forever, like we, you know, we hadn't done anything with that for, for a number of months, like now over a year. Which that's sick, by the way. No. Yeah. Classrooms. Great. Thank you.

Yeah, I was just like I found myself missing that part of the process, Right? I got really caught up in, like, the size of the shows and, like, you know, kind of the, quote unquote, status of the whole thing and kind of lost the the creative love for a little bit. And so when I started working on the music that would eventually become Hill Ave and that's that's what really kind of fueled everything was just like, I'm actually doing something creative again. And in this context, it was like, I kind of don't have any, any outside voices, meaning like voices that I don't trust, right? Like, I would send ideas to these guys back and forth and like, if they would give me feedback, I could trust that. And like, it was actually, like, welcomed. I didn't have any like, shit heads in the band to too. Don't know what they're talking about like you do when you're young, right? So it just kind of reignited that love for music that I sort of felt like I lost a little bit.

And I think that's or your question about having time or fighting time or whatever, that's been the motivation primarily. I think it's just like I'm really fortunate to have Ricky in a good group of dudes who actually know what they're doing involved in this, and I think we're all kind of stoked on the material and the fact that we now have like videos shot and we're about we're like a week away from launching the band is like, like you were saying about death where it's just like, like at some point you're like, Oh, it's actually happening now. And you know, now we're going to have to figure out what that's going to look like. But for now, you know, we're we're just enjoying the process.

Yeah. I mean, really. Well, do you mind moving your left just an inch again? Yes. You keep scooting. I know you love Ricky. But I don't. I don't. I don't mean to scoot.

You keep on scooting, but, like, a few things is at the end of the day, if you look at something like the totality of a project is like everything you're going to have to do, it's easy to get overwhelmed. But in reality, how many of those challenges do you have to deal with all at the same time? Usually it's just like you're you've got the thing you've got to deal with Now. So I think that if you if you take a rational approach to getting things done, it's easy to make it work. Even with a busy schedule.

But with in regards to what you were saying about definition of success changing, like I remember when I was growing up in my teen years, I'd watch like bands, like huge, huge bands, like the same bands we all looked at and that was my definition of success. And then when I got a little bit older, I would meet people who would tell me that there's a bunch of different things you can do in music and have a great life still, and that's not losing. And I thought they were full of shit and I want to hear a fucking word they had to say about any of it. Like, but then this got even. A little bit older. Didn't make it.

I realized them, right? Yeah. They're 100% right, actually. Right. Yeah. But yeah, there's four for me. I actually one of my big, like, life changing moments was first story I did with Ice Nine Kills. When I was there, I was watching motionless and white and so they, they had like 13 people from Pennsylvania on payroll, you know? I mean, I had just never because I had never toured in a band that actually put me on tour with a band that had a crew like that before.

And the first time that I saw that, that was an option. Real like way, way, way, way, way. I can't make opportunities for like my homies, like, you know, I'm like that, that, that, that was just so far.

I mean, I never thought about that concept before that I could actually do stuff that affected the lives of just like the people around me, you know? I mean, because to me, touring in a band was just like just a scourge on my life For a long time. It was just like, We're going to go with this band. Everybody's got to lose money. We're going to be gone for two months.

We're going to come back. We're going to be in a deep hole. We're going to figure it out. Let's go, guys. And there was only a certain number of times that you can convince your best friends to do this before. You know, I think it's it's like a it sums up to an act of hatred, although like, you just said, said, you know, I mean. I was I was there for the last. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all that.

But you know what, what basically ended up happening was I went to my first store where I'm seeing there is a guitar tech and there is a drawback and there is, you know, a video guy and a photo guy and there is a tour manager and there is an assistant tour manager and there is a merch guy and there's a stage manager and this and there is a stage actor, one stage actor too, and there's a makeup person and there's wardrobe and, and all these people are getting paid like a they get paid. This is their job. They, they and it was like the first time that I saw like being a musician might be less selfish that I always kind of felt it was because when I had moved out of touring for like five years, that was one thought that I had was like, I got to stop being a dick to my friends and making them do this.

This is selfish. And then you go out, you see, there's a group of guys nice as ever, Mozilla some white. They're from, you know, Pennsylvania, where I'm from, Salt. Of the earth. Yeah.

I think. No person on that crew, I. Love them so much but you know and I saw that and, and I wanted that for myself and it was a matter of like well, now we're going to have to get good at this shit. And that was frustrating.

And no more. No more sucking. Yeah, no more sucking. I watched that as of today. As far as I can tell, looking through those old videos, I loved it. I saw the you know what that is something that people don't realize about successful bands is that it creates this little economy around them.

And the bigger the band is, the further that reaches like. So for instance, if you have a metallica or something, which I know you guys are familiar with, is the success of Metallica basically spreads out to a lot of people. They have a whole industry that's just like their thing, but then every band that they take on the road, like every every person at the merch company, like the people at their label, like just there's so many people. I don't have the hard numbers, but I think it's safe to say that, like Metallica as an entity has a more thriving economy than like several countries. I guess. I'm sure.

Well, it's interesting because so, you know, I Sound Kills has been doing these, you know, these Metallica dates and and the shows are, you know, there's like a two week gap in between every show. And you go and you look at the stage show that they're putting on and you get it. There is like eight giant video towers. There's this giant, you know, circular stage in a football stadium. Like it's taking time to put this together in every area.

And they're playing, you know, several shows at these venues. But but what you don't think about is in that time, in between, you know, all the other bands are they need to go play shows as they normally do. They need to, you know, keep the you know, keep the wheels moving and so going. Those two things has got to be insane. Well, well, so when we were we did a couple shows with LAMB of God because Pantera is also doing these Metallica shows and you see that there's actually a secondary economy being created because bands like I said, Kels and Five Finger Death Punch and Pantera, they're making their own tours in between the Metallica dates and then there are bands on those tours who need to go find other shows to play.

When the headline band breaks off and goes and plays with Metallica and sometimes they have to go kind of far. There's a couple of days, so there is like three layers of touring that happen, and then there are like bands that are playing out these like small shows out in the parking lot for the audience, which I think is really cool. They're like some really cool ones on those shows and then they're traveling out and they're like playing a few festivals on the way.

So there's this like weird tapestry of like, you know, a different layers of, you know, the Metallica economy that was happening. And it was really interesting because, you know, we ended up playing a couple shows with Acacia Strain and were like, Oh yeah, we're on tour right now with LAMB of God because we have a guy on tour, Patera Band. There was our Metallica like you guys and, and yeah, you're like, Oh, wow, that's, you know, that was all but yes. And then that's all If you factor in that, every single one of those bands is employing people. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's, it's, it's, I think that creatively the best thing you can do for yourself is to have a couple people who depend on you. Because when you're working on, you know, music and everything, to me it was always just this really selfish thing, you know, I like, I write these lyrics that I'm going to really made me, I'm going to really make a big impression. So I was big on shock stuff. Like, I really like the idea of shocking people. Like, Whoa, that guy would say that. And I don't know why.

Because now when I'm working on songs, they're considerations to make. There are the other guys there are, you know, like our our merch person gets gets like factored into that this discussion like is this representative of all of us, You know what I mean? Well, yeah, because I mean if you do make a if you make one misstep, however minor, like you piss a couple of people off and then the next time they're at a merge table, they're going to be grilling your merch. And why do you associate with these guys when they when they sang about this? You know what I mean? Like, yeah there's a. Pretty good it's stay away from those topics.

I just mean more general. No not no, but I just I know it. I just it's. Just. Me like in general, like everything trickles down. Yeah, everything trickles down. It's really easy.

I think, to forget, like, how small the business is. Like the the industry in general, like, does when you're in it, it feels so massive, especially when you're doing, you know, I had the opportunity to do a couple other Metallica dates when I was still playing with Ice nine and like when you're in that environment, it seems so like unfathomable, like larger than life. Like, how does, how does, how does all the logistics around this possibly work? There's so many people, you know, when you're used to the level of touring where, like you see every member of every band every day, whereas like when you're touring with a band like Metallica, you don't see them most of the time. Well, I mean, like. We do now. Yeah, and now you do. But it's not quite like you took a while, you know, I'm all like when we did those.

Show me those shows when I was. When I was doing it. Like, we, we I think. There was a reason for that. And I think I think that's doesn't help. It's the.

No, no, no. Oh, it could have been. But I think those shows were just a lot more hectic because I think they were flying in for those. There was a like this giant stage show.

So the guys are in town for a few days before everything happened. I was out at these these arena shows. They really do kind of come just to be at the show like they they've been watching all of the artists.

They always talk to all of us like we chat about the show and they're like, Oh, I saw that you were doing this. I was really cool that there is there's something that's so that's so crazy about getting a chance to know those guys and become friends with them because there is no distinction between them and like just a band that you would be on tour with. They want to chat about what guitars you like to play and like, Oh yeah, I used to have one of those and then they want to chat about new bands that they feel they want to chat about how everybody set. When I I've never once felt like out of my element having a conversation with one of them because they always go way out of their way to make sure they're like, Hey, I really appreciate you being here. You guys, like, really helped us out a lot by being on the store, and I'd love to get a chance to know you, and it's never been anything shy of that once and is like, God, that's another life changing moment because it's like, God damn, even if I got that successful, I could be that cool to everybody. Like, that's okay, you know? I mean, like, that's great. Yeah. I don't think a lot of people

think that, you know, rock stars like, can be people. Oh, my God, they're. They're awesome. So it's. That's been really exciting. Yeah, it's wild. How long did it take before the I guess the surreal nature of it wore off and it was like, all right, they're acting like normal people. All act like a normal person, too, and we'll just chill.

You know? It was like, you know, like the marvel going in the whole game. It's like in this situation, the metaphor is depression. Sometimes depression works out. But I was actually having a really tough time with the amount that we were touring early on.

And I just remember it was like, I think the second show we played with them, I had a pretty, you know, it was like a ten minute conversation with Hetfield, and I remember calling somebody else I was close to and I was kind of crushed because I was just like, I'm in such a bad state. I like, I, I wanted it to, to feel like something. And it just, it was like that was like that. Was that was like how, you know, how much of a toll all the touring was taking on me. And it started becoming surreal afterwards. So there is this period of time that I think like I just couldn't kick into gear. None of it.

Nothing you could have. I could have met Barack Obama and I and it would have, you know, just been like, yeah, I mean, it's weird. He was just a guy, you know? I mean, like, I didn't he he wasn't glowing. There was, you know, I mean, there wasn't like. My music didn't start playing.

I didn't get shot with a silencer. Like, I don't know, it's just. But it. Was. That's the Clintons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so, so there was like, I kicked it, you know, like I had to do a lot of I had to do a lot of work to get out of that spot. And it was like the one time we were in the dressing room and, and I needed to get something from my Tim's office.

And I it was like, wait at these arenas, like I'm starting, you know, get like kind of an idea of the layout. You just walk around in a giant. It's just a circle. It was just a fine was our goal. So I'm like, walk into a ring. Yeah, it's like a wall for like 15 fucking minutes. And I finally. The worst and go.

Oh my God, I can't get to her door. It's super late and umpired and I'm trying to communicate with her about something. And one of the guys from Metallica was getting my attention, and, and then I, like, turn in. They're all getting ready to perform, and I got a chance to just hang out with them for a little while, while they're, you know, like they have a bunch of friends are out and they're just, you know, and doing the stretches and getting ready and everybody's just chatting. And I accidentally ended up in their warm up party like I even ended up in the like, let's go, you know, like, you know, hang out. Yeah, let's do this.

And that was when it was just like, Oh, my God. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You know, I mean, because there's just is crazy.

And it was like, finally I saw it through a context of being like, am I am I schizophrenic? Am I like, am I just schizophrenic? Is any of this actually happening? And the think of it like. I don't know. That's the jury's out. Yeah. Yeah. That's a whole other fucking box to look back.

And there's a lot of tape on that. Oh, I mean, I think like a lot of what you were saying about how it took you a while to, like, kind of snap out of it. Yeah, Yeah.

That kind of goes back to what we were talking about, of how easy it is to get jaded in this business. Like, is like nothing. I mean, now I only did three of those shows before I went back to my gig and they were where was it? Vegas. Pittsburgh. Buffalo. Vegas was the first one there. That was several months before the other two.

And that one was like, Holy shit. Like, I can't believe you have buffalo lit. Like, no joke.

I walked into the stadium of Buffalo like, All right, cooler work again, like such a piece of shit, dude. Like, like, not even like, oh, yeah, like, this is just what I do. My place is like. Like just instantly, like, I'm.

I'm at work. Stand. You know, I've worked, like, whatever. And so I think. It's because the sun was in our eyes. Well, you do.

Okay, so real quick, I have I have had this conversation with people where they like, Dude, I must have been so insane to play with Metallica. Like, what was that like? And I got the experience was really cool. It's really great to say that I did it. I got a lot of really good Instagram photos out of it. The show itself was a bit difficult, like when you're playing in a stadium as the opener, you're going on at like 5 p.m.

and those stages are pretty much always designed to face directly into the sunset. And so like. You're just like, you're like, you're like playing Where's Waldo being like, I think there are people out there.

I think that's. I couldn't, I couldn't fucking see. I'm pretty sure I got sunburn in the first show. I'll tell you. Okay, so I'll tell you what, I'll tell you one thing I learned about myself, because I'm a pretty disciplined person when it comes to eating, when it comes to like I like I try to I try to eat healthy.

I try to and and I that's something I identify with. And then those shows, I will say catering is pretty wild at the dessert table. That's been pretty wild.

And you could just keep could take itself. And as I was like trying six desserts one day, I realize I was never actually that disciplined. I'm just really good at turning down bullshit. Yeah, but, like, I mean. But only that one day, though, right? Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. And every other event that we wouldn't have.

You know what? I think it's a really good trait. And this is, I think that lots of listeners are not going to be able to identify this, identify with this. And I'm sorry, but it's a really good trait, in my opinion, to be able to, you know, something really awesome happens, like the Metallica show or like with Riff, are us doing the Zach course or whatever.

Like, I remember when Dr. Oz felt like just that kind of stuff. That's just like, Holy shit, I. Never thought you'd get there. Yeah, it's happen. And then you are and you got to like, not fuck it up the that being able to I guess downgrade it to just a normal life is what will keep you from fucking it up if you're sitting there like wow this is insane the whole time you're going to get in your own head and you're going to fuck it up. Yeah, yeah.

You, you. Have to be able to keep it cool. And a lot of people are like, You got to take time to appreciate things. It's like, Yeah, I understand why you're saying that, but what is that? Just trying to not fuck it up? Yeah. No, no.

I'm always like, when somebody is like, you got to take time for yourself. Like, okay, what the fuck does that mean? Because, yeah, what if keep saying that and I. Because I, because I watch TV for half an hour and just get eaten away by anxiety. Be like you really should be getting shit done. It's like, that's not fun.

And then you try going on vacation and then you're like, No, I can't work. This is awful. Yeah, I'm convinced that taking time for oneself and like, leave it in the feeling that you're living your best life is a fucking myth that Instagram plus think. Of, like even when things. Are going really well in any context of my life, wherever I am, I'm always stressed. I love this image of of Chris just on a beach, stressed out like I will.

Not I won't go to the beach. I won't do a vacation like that. Like if I do a vacation, if I go on vacation, it has to be somewhere where like, I'll move it. Cons some. Resort. But that no resort. I mean, technically, you are on the hill the whole time.

Yeah, but from the same place to the same place, like. But you are moving, like, hiking or like fucking just being a tourist. Like going out into the sights or taking my kids to Disney World, right? You never get to fucking sit down at Disney World like I to like, it's just got to be something where I don't get to think about the fact that I'm not working.

Sends this kid down the zip line and then he doesn't go, All right, a great life. Yeah, I've been do this. It predates Instagram, though. I've been hearing that now for since since I was in high school. I like when I learned in high school to just stop talking to people about my goals because it's going to make them hate me or they're just not going to get it and we're going to have a disconnect. So the better. It's going to get negative.

Not talk about this stuff, because the moment I would start talking about what I wanted to do, that's it. That that kind of stuff would start coming out of people's mouths. Like, you just got to take time for yourself or like, why do you need all of that? Like, can't you be happy with this? And like, you should just appreciate things more, etc.. And it's just like. I so I appreciate.

You can say that when you don't want those things. Yeah. Well you appreciate it by working, by getting, by putting in the time, you know. I show you you show some respect for the work that you've put in by putting. More work in. Okay. But realistically, you do. It's true though. So. So, you know, we touched on like the mental health thing.

I mean, for anything like my EMT referred to my job as a high excitement occupation being that. They're all an EMT is a mental. Health. No, no, no. Well, that we're talking about we're talking about the loud noise, because I actually I found out this year my hearing damage isn't nearly as bad as I thought it was. And but my so I had a scary, scary incident happened where I just woke up one day and my tinnitus was loud. It was louder than it had ever been.

It was competing with quiet conversation. So on one hand I start, yeah, I started working on ASL more like actually in earnest as to where before I was just learning how to say like, try me bitch and funny stuff and but the I had an appointment with my EMT and I talked to about it. I was like, Hey, my tonight is, is getting really bad. I and five years before I was told by an audiologist after a test that I had moderate to severe hearing damage and then they spent months trying to sell me $9,000 hearing aids. You cannot get health insurance to help out those so that that just that that's just a no.

You know, for a musician being like that. No I'm not spending $9,000 on something that's insane and that's. What it feels like buying. In-ears. Yeah, yeah.

That is yeah. Like there's no program for this. Yeah, but, but so, so, so that had happened like five, six years ago. Me And so I do an EMT and then we did the test and I was scared as hell because my tonight s was loud. I knew they were going to tell me something that was going to really, really be hard to listen to. And, you know, you get ready to go, you know, have that out-of-body disassociation thing happen. And then they were like, I did the test and they're like, Yeah, you're hearing is fine.

It was like, wait, what? And they're like, Yeah, mild hearing damage, Anything you'd expect out of a like an, you know, exciting environment career and then I found out that the audiologist I went to was well known to lie to people to try to sell in ear is heard not in your city. So even here it's yeah it's L.A.. So you may agent for. JH Well, you know, so that being said, you know, there's like always a lot of, there's a lot of health, you know, like physical things.

You're doing yourself. There's a lot of emotional things you're doing yourself because you're pulling yourself away from your whole. So like your whole support network, they're looking at your life like you are having fun. 10 hours a day.

You don't you don't see it like, you know, I mean, like I have to have that conversation. Normally they're like, Oh, I see your Instagram. You're having a good time about.

Your Instagram is a highlight reel. Yeah. Anyone who's having this thought of like, Oh, that guy's life rules, Instagram is like highlight reel. Well, I mean, like, you know, I still enjoy I still.

Just highly curated highlight reel. Yeah that right Yeah right. You you find a made you find a way to make it look good but ultimately at the end of the day, like there's you get to an age where you got to do some, some repairing and that whole time for yourself thing has for me has come up with like mindfulness meditation. You know, running, working out. You know, I have to force myself to have times in the day where I take ten really deep breaths. I put myself in a better nervous system state, and then I try to go maintain it while doing things that are going to pull me away from these like thoughts, like, am I good at what I do? Do people appreciate what I do? Am I, you know, doing things that are benefiting all the people around me who work with me or for me or any of that stuff? Like it's a cloud of that all the time until I can get that like 2 hours a day where I can just like, clean that out.

And unfortunately, you know, for entertainers and musicians getting out of that cloud takes months of effort. If it gets really thick, I think I. Don't I think that that's what people mean, though, when they say, take time for yourself. I think they're just talking out their ass and don't know what they mean.

Yeah, they're just so they're just saying reduce they reduce your expectations or something are like don't don't make me feel bad by telling me something cool you're doing. But they don't mean actually get your mental health in check. Oh, that's not what they were saying.

No, I don't think so. I think that that's. Yeah. That I don't think so. Ricky, Ricky gives everyone the benefit of the doubt.

It's a very redeeming quality, you know? But there's a reason. I don't think so. It's because the same thing that we were just saying that most people think that you're out there partying 10 hours a day. Why would they think that you need to get your mental health in check if you're just partying all day and like having a fun time the whole time. So they don't really understand what you do. So I don't think that their their their advice really counts because it's not coming from place of any sort of understanding.

They're just telling you to like, not make them feel bad when you show them cool shit that you're doing. Yeah, I mean, there's there's a really. In my opinion. There's a yeah, there's a really big emphasis on communication when you have a job like this.

And when I say communication, I mean like within your like close circle, you know, your family, your, you know, your, anyone close to you, your loved ones, whatever, like, because they are also like, you know, we're talking about people who think you're, you know, your life is awesome and you're just out there party and it's always a good time or whatever. Like we're generally talking about strangers, but your family will think that too, you know? Yeah. And so, like, in my experience, it's it's just so crucially important. I think probably a little bit more so than maybe a normal job to, like, try to be on the same page as like your spouse or the other people, like so so they know what's happening and that they're like confident in everything that's going on or whatever. Because like, it's really easy. Like, you know, it's one thing for some like your, you know, your friend or somebody that you know, that you used to work with or went to school with, or just a stranger who's just feels bad about their life and saying things like, Oh, you just need to take some time for yourself while you do and all this kind of stuff.

But like, those conversations get real heavy when it's actually close to, Oh. Well, I want to say something I feel like I was actually this is a conversation I was literally having this morning with somebody who I'm very close with, who's kind of dealing with similar conversations. Somebody that they're really close to is accusing them of not spending enough time doing specific things before they go out for a long time on tour and have a lot of fun.

And for them, they're frustrated. We're talking about because, you know, he was saying, I'm frustrated because I'm not going to be having that much fun. It's work. And, you know, I'm being accused of not spending my time correctly because of this impending fine.

And and for me, I you know, that kind of stopped, I think, when I hit like 30, because I think there's this thing that sort of happens that you have to, like, almost prove to all of the people in your life that you're about it. You know? I mean, like I think a lot of people like there's like this like little thing underneath that conversation where they're like, hey, you know, clock's ticking. You're going to need to figure it out, become a foreman or some shit, you know? I mean, like, they're there's usually an assumption that you're not going to be doing this for the long haul. It's a phase. Yeah, I guess. And once you get through that and I think then there kind of starts this relationship with some of the people in your life where all of the sudden they start kind of like trying to figure out what it is you do and they're just like, okay, let's, you know, let's bring let's reshape this relationship.

So what do you do? You know, I mean, like and that's it opportunity to bring them in closer and, you know, try to, you know, get your people on your side. You know. I think I probably speak for a number of us when I say that one of the biggest achievements in life is when members of your family at Thanksgiving stop saying things like, how was your trip? You know, how was it as your little band? Yeah, our little group. You're like, not band group. Your little girl doing that. Why? Why does the why is the singer so angry? I had a I had a I had a relative not not immediate, but a relative did the whole don't quit your day job.

When he heard my hear one of the songs I recorded when I was 15. And I always think back all that was like I was 50. Right now my day job is like school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What it does.

That was a nice thing to say. Yeah, that's really cool. It was really cool of them. That child. So.

Yeah, so like that person you were talking to, I understand. Even though I don't know the details, like, I understand that whole conversation, but what I've. Yeah, I've learned as I've gotten older is that generally when I have felt like that about a specific person is generally my fault. It not always, but generally it's my fault for not communicating well enough. And just assuming that they should just get it. Like, just like, why don't they just fucking get it? Like it's so obvious.

Yeah. I'm in my I'm in my I live this life. 24 seven Why aren't they living through my head or something? Like it's just as weird. Yeah. Just disconnected from reality. Important. Yeah. Well, it's like a it's like a subversive thing with, with. Especially when. When like, people like me, I tend to look down on, on, you know, the way I do things are the quality of the things that I do.

I thought you were about to, like, list a group of people. Me too. I was. I was like, We're about to learn something. Yeah. I thought so too. Yeah. Yeah I like I said, we're going to have to edit this one.

No, no, no. I typically look that, you know, it's just a it's just a way of thinking. Some people look up to the things that they do and some people look down on. And when when you're in the mindset where you are very frequently assuming that the person you're talking to is just better than you, in a lot of ways, you get confused when they don't understand something that you think's easy to understand. It's like, Hey, I'm working under the assumption that you're much smarter and much more capable than me.

Why don't you get this? And there's like this confusion that's going on, and that's something I've experienced before. Yeah I that and also I've noticed that just because I told somebody something doesn't mean that they got it. Or like, I need to verify that they that we're on the same page and I'm talking about stuff like this.

Like even when I wasn't touring and what I would say were the first five years of of nail comics when I would go on those trips every single month, like I did that for five years straight, like every single month, a nail the MC strip, sometimes more. And I was there for someone in my life at that time who did think that I was just going off on these like, on these, like. Paid vacation. Crazy music trips and like, fuckin partying and doing like wild entrepreneur stuff and like, meeting, like also with, like, my musician friends and, like, just living this life that I wasn't living at all like these. So they assume you were like Mark Cuban or something, but.

Yeah, like some. Crazy, crazy. Shit. Some. Yeah, totally crazy shit when like in reality, the nail the mics trips are like a tour.

Like they're like a five day tour where you're traveling with a bunch of gear. You're like doing music stuff the whole time you're with the same people. Like you're not really interfacing with outside people. And then I was there. For one time. I was there for one of them a long time ago.

And I'm not in the old atrium. No, that's right. No, no, I was. I was at that. Oh, yeah, you were. I was. I want another one.

We're not going to talk about which one I was. I was hanging out with all you guys, waiting for files to load onto a hard drive so I'd never have to go back there. And it was like, this city is version of Mission Impossible. I, I was sitting here wondering why I was sitting here, wondering which place you were talking about as soon as you said. So I didn't have to go back there. I was like, Oh yeah, I know exactly what.

He's talking about fast. As do I. Yeah. That one was rough.

But, you know, even the ones that aren't rough is still like there was this one stretch where in the span of like two weeks, like we did the euro summit in Vegas, which was like five or seven days of just like non fucking stop doing this thing, then immediately went to Denmark, like the next day, went to Denmark and did this thing for three days with to imagine. And it was like it was literally Tim. Rose.

Go finish in Vegas, go to Denmark, like before you can even catch your breath. And we went to L.A. and we did another nail that mixed up with yens and then immediately went to Putney Place like two days later and shot like a three week course with him. It was just like that kind of stuff. It reminded me a lot of touring because it's like you don't have the time to get adjusted to anything and there's constantly problems that you have to improvise and solve. Like it's there's a lot of parallels, yet I'm hearing that like I'm like on vacation or like partying.

It's like yet after all this time I've told you and you've been on these like, and you know that that's not the case. Like, you still think this. And that's when I realized I need to verify that I'm on the same page as somebody.

Just because I tell them something doesn't mean that I communicated it right and that they understand. So to say. Now I go, I make I like verify now, and that's made my relationships a lot better. That the the busiest just. Taking notes. Just relating to that you know that that story of that you know those few months that were just absolute hell like that was me last year because I had about eight months of touring.

And also at the same time, some people will know this who are listening if they follow me. I bought a house that went with the analysts that within three months the central air died, the basement flooded, the deck had to be ripped off the house, and then the thing caught fire. And fact of life.

I do I to I laugh. Now, it. Sounds like a comedy, but it's. Still going on. It's still going on. The thing is a thought, LEMON dude.

But literally and this was all happening while I was on tour, so. Now I said, okay, I. Can get a diverse catalog right now. Yeah, right.

Oh. Well, the betting on music was playing all the time. So while are you really fighting seriously? I hear it in my head every time I go to that house. But like, so this was all happening while I was on tour. So, like, we bought the house and that was kind of its own nightmare because anybody who is has been buying real estate within the last couple of years knows that it's like a fucking nightmare. Like interest rates are through the roof, housing prices are just through the roof. Everything sucks.

And so we but like, we finally got the house and we were excited about, I was like, yeah, it needs some updating, but the bones are great. And then I'm on tour and then I get the call that the basement has water and the. Bugs are not great. And then, well, this. So here's, here's where it started, right? Like so the basement floods. It's a fully finished basement that the remediations come out and they're like, yeah, we got to take out two feet of drywall like fuck and so then they take out that two feet of drywall and then they find other drywall behind it that also had water damage. So then now this becomes an issue with the people who sold us the house.

And I think that's about as far as I may be able to legally say about that. So then we had long story short, the basement then has to be taken down to concrete and then they investigate why. It flooded and they're like, Well, your yard's not graded properly. And what I like. And then Mike said, We had to rip the deck off the back of the house I get home from was a U.S. tour. I had like ten days home.

And what I assume those ten days were going to be was I'm going to have some of my friends come up to the house with some sledge hammers and some beer, and we'll just demo demo the basement, you know, And because I'm not God, I love that. I know, dude. I was I was actually looking forward to it. I would have shot that.

I would have brought a gun and shot the wall down. Because of, you know, at that point, I'm not paying the mediator's, you know, to pull everything out of it's got to go down to concrete, so I'll just fucking destroy it. And day three, a bathroom fan shorted out and set the ceiling on fire. The house was not going to let you.

Yeah. Interfere with its plans. Yeah. So we. So we're, we go running out of the house with the kids and the dogs, and as we're running out of the house, the guys who were coming to repair the central air that had broken a couple of months earlier were pulling in the driveway and they're like, there's smoke coming out of your roof. And we're like, Yeah, we know cold. They were in one place, you know, like they're fucking like, insane. So but all this to say, like bringing it back around the people who'd, you know, see your Instagram feed or know what you do for a living. And they're just like, Oh, it must be so great that you're out there doing all this stuff and this is like, Well, I've been to Japan and L.A.

and Germany within the last three weeks, and all within that time. Like also my entire life has fallen apart, you know what I mean? So it's not like, yeah, the show off might be cool. And it is important to say, you know, it is awesome. Like it is, you know, pretty dire any, any life situation that anybody's going to be in. There's always room for difficulty regardless of whether, you know, you're a Stepford wife or anything. And, you know, we've the past few years I've been able to find some.

But I will say I think the last tour that I did was the most fun that I had in a really, really, really long time. And it required it required a schedule. It required a, you know, the help of a behavioral psychologist, and it just required doing things that helped improve it, that were personal choices. That took time. And I think what and this conversation comes down to how much when people say something like, you know, we're going back to the the the the mantra of make time for yourself. Some people don't have time.

You know, like when you when you think about a person who has to work somewhere where there is a commute time, there is the required hours, then there's the extra time that they're just sort of like bullied into spending at the place just because it's like, Hey, we got to do this stuff. You can't go out and you go, okay, I'll stay here longer. There's a commute back. Then there's the need to feed yourself. Maybe people in your family, anything else There is need for upkeep for, you know, bills, administrations up everything. What not to go to bed at. Some people just really don't have time to feel better.

And that's the one thing that really does that that that I think is like that lifestyle creep of being able to recognize real like, I think my shit's getting too complicated because I can't find 2 hours to do all the things that are going to be necessary for me to sustain happiness through, you know, any type of, you know, whatever situation that. And that's the one thing that I really had to start carving out, was just making sure that I was going to find that time and it was non-negotiable. So 2 hours, it's like meditation, exercise, like, yeah, yeah, like whatever it is, but like doing those things that everyone knows they should do in order to not get depressed or not lose their minds.

What I had to do was I had to start frontloading it before work where it's just like because I always want to get to work. It's like, Oh shit, I have to stretch. Otherwise I can't start work.

And that was really necessary for me because I always had this wishful thinking. They like, I'll just get this done, get done by 10 p.m., I'll have a couple of hours to kick it. That never. I would say that for years, you know, I mean.

Yeah, I've been I've been trying that because I've been like I decided to just start working out again, even if I was injured. And it's been going great, fucking awesome. However, I have been trying the whole like, I'll do it after. Yeah, just going to the gym at like 10 p.m. or 11 p.m. once I did it at 1 a.m.

and what I realized I was getting. Hit on a. Lot. I like that nobody's there and. I like, I like that. I like that it's just me or a couple other weirdos.

Yeah, it's cool when you go at 1 a.m. and you're there till like three, that's when the really weird crowd shows up. Like whoever goes to an all night gym at, like, 3 a.m., that's a there's some interesting motherfuckers.

Just like going to Walmart. But what I realizing is that by going at that time, it fucks up my sleep. Yeah. And it's not a good thing. And I also want to just get right to work.

And the last thing I want to do is start working out first thing in the morning. But if I don't, I'm setting myself up for a problem because then if I go at like ten or 11, I'll get back by like midnight or one, and then I have to like, come down and like, relax and still need like 2 hours to be able to sleep. And then it's like four and then I'm not getting up early. Yeah, no.

And then it's just it's just about it's not good. Though that, that 3 a.m. treadmill and that's a bad one. Oh yeah. It's really too. Bad. Nothing good happens. No, I had to start doing like, like prison workouts instead of going to gyms because I'm now going to Asia so much that in Japan specifically, most of the public gyms there don't allow you in if you have tattoos.

That's correct. And so really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, for yeah, for such a long time, the only people in Japan who had tattoos were the most interesting. There's a real thing.

Yeah, I didn't know. So. Yeah, like, like if want to go to like a spa or a bathhouse, which I don't know why you go to one of those, but I. Don't think it was the fury of this. Yeah, Yeah, I guess. But yeah, and. Just thinking about how nice it sounded. Basically. Any, any like, uh, call it like, I don't want to say luxury.

Like you're doing something for yourself, going to the gym, going to a spa, going to a sauna or going to whatever, like that kind of stuff. Like if you have tattoos, a lot of the time it's like my. Parents tried so hard to talk me out of them and that's all they would have needed to tell me, Well, he's all be able to go. You won't be able to go without a hot tub in Japan.

I'd be like, Fuck, this. Is true even in hotel gyms and hotel spots. Yeah, yeah, it's. Yeah, they're loosening up on it a little bit now as it becomes a little bit more like tattoo shops are starting to pop up around, like legit tattoo shops are starting to pop up around like Tokyo and stuff.

So it's not quite as taboo as the the younger generation begins to take hold, but it's still very much a thing. And so, yeah, and a lot of hotels just don't have gyms there. And so like I just had to start, you know, tell you, have you ever been a you've been in a hotel in Japan also, you know how small those rooms can get, like the just having to take the little hallway that is both your entrance and your bathroom to just do push ups and stuff in the morning. Like that's what I've been having to do. It literally, literally feels like like one of those scenes where the guy's just in a cell. I love I love going to go in a year.

I mean, it was I remember this. I I'm sorry, you first. I was just going to say, like, bodyweight exercises are great. You can you do everything you need to do? Pretty much almost, Yeah.

With bodyweight, almost. Yeah. Well, you say you love what. I love foreign gents, and I just remember I was it as everyone in Germany at this hotel. It's actually it is another funny story from that one there is like the AC who was broken in the floor that my whole entire tour was it. It was like 82 degrees.

They had AC it was in the first place. Yeah. The AC that could break. I mean yeah, I'm. Here up for a year. As you know. It's crazy.

But no. So I went down to the gym and I just remember working out and then this guy came in who's massive and he, you know, he was definitely used, definitely European. And he just, you know, put his Bluetooth speaker down and it wasn't vengaboys, but it might as well have been.

He played like the most boisterous, like nineties, like Euro techno. And he just was like he was just getting it and it was like the music was so loud that I took a phone call from my mom and I had to leave the gym because it was just like he was just like it was full volume. And I, I just really like, like I.

Admire the car. I like. It. Yeah, I liked it. It was a fun time. But I just remember that night I, I drank both my water bottles that were complimentary with the room it and because I was at the gym, a bunch of people came down and they managed to get standing fans for the rooms.

But by the time I was aware of the situation, I went to the front desk. There were no standing fans left. So I asked if I could get another bottle of water. And I remember the guy explaining to me that they they already had water and I was like, No, like there's a little bit of a language barrier. We're like, I know it's God, I, I drank. It. I need more of this very renewable resource, please.

AT Not possible. Yeah. It was like there is this like circular power argument where I was like, I'd like more. And then he was like, We gave you two. I was like, I know I was right two. And he was in Germany.

Yeah. Yeah. Of fucking cor not possible. Yeah he was. And he was just like, well no I was like then I want a standing fan.

It was like, well no that we don't have any. I was like, Then I want a water. And then after like for, after four repetitions of this, I remember he like reluctantly gave me another two bottles and then he let me know not to drink. Both of them. I was like, I'll make that decision. These are mine now.

Yeah. Yeah. Don't drink both of them tonight. Then you won't have any tomorrow.

That sounds like. Telling me how bottles work. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Dude, I. I like. I was, like, the first time I was like, I miss America. I have just give you a water. It's not.

It's not just because of being there more now. Even like the very first time you go in there, I have a way easier time getting around in Tokyo where nobody speaks a lick of English than I do in Germany. Really knows those conversations with people enrage me. Like what I think when you ask like somebody at a hotel desk who is supposed to be the person who's like, able to facilitate things, not complicated things, but just like I would like a bottle of water.

Okay, here you go. Like, that's like kind of the only job of a bar apart. All right, So apart from, like, welcome to the hotel.

What's your name? Here's your key, like, and when you just go and ask for something or like, you ask for some kind of information or whatever, and they just in Germany, they always just give you this answer that makes you feel like a moron every time. Like you guys want it. You guys want to hear it all the time that I was. I was there. Yeah, in Mexico City.

That's how out. In Mexico City, you. Said. Yeah. Yeah. Did we talk about this? I don't remember, but I.

And I believe you was. I woke to now this, this hotel desk, they would have given you any of that. Where you want it. Yeah.

I mean, like they were cool, but I. You might not want to drink that. Where they give you though. How it's bottled and say. I'll drink. Okay. All right. Bob Mansfield gone up th

2024-04-25 06:55

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