Insights In Sound - Healthy Touring - S14, E8
welcome to insights and sound where we talk to the people behind the scenes behind the technology and Behind the Music people you may not know but you should and please check out getitinwriting.net/shows for a full list of our podcast YouTube [Music] series thank you all for joining us this is a panel on healthy touring maintaining a healthy Minds sit while one is on the road which of course we're all absolute experts at um my guest from The Far Side over there I don't mean the comic with NE Ali David 51 Norman Jody milstein Wayne Paulie I'm going to let each of you talk a little bit about yourselves rather than me uh kind of one on about it but I want to I want to have it be in the context of what we're doing here so um we have we have basically here an assortment of uh people who are one record record label Executives or U Were you actually Executives or were you were you down in the trenches with Donan um Whitney what I'm speaking about here both both I'm so sorry okay so yes uh we have we have two people who have been involved in the music industry in the record industry and why is they decided to um become therapists so that they could help all the rest of us and then we have two Road dogs uh who are pretty pretty good for the amount of wear and tear they've had I would say um so I don't know let's let's just get started with some of the some of the basics there um I want to throw this at Whitney and Jody what possessed you to take the path you have taken and not stay in the music industry little for it so I loved my time uh working in the music industry I worked in music management I worked at a record label I spent most of my time in the industry working directly for an artist of an nonprofit organization and that took me out on the road a fair amount uh raising money for philanthropic cumes and I just realized that I love the industry and uh it was uh a really great place for like my gly career but as I got older I didn't feel like it was the most welcoming place for a woman who wanted to advance in her career and so I decided that I needed to find a career where the older you got the more respect it you work and psychology seemed like the way to go I you go no you guys here okay okay and for me I worked at records for several years and it was amazing my life I did a lot of Jo and spend a lot of time directly working with artists and really saw the toar as as recoring addiction down so that I and end of the 1990s was part ofch BR away to the Immigrant all about years ago and then I worked for an individual artist and management on the way I managed others and things like that and have on to you better better places and larger sale uh venues and I just decided that I needed something else I wanted to go back to school and I thought well I'll go back to school for something that I'll be able to use down the line and I really felt very strongly about working addiction and so that kind of led me down this path that I work with artists and Physicians primarily B therapy and my background and addiction I able to support people as Welly and a healthier life now conversely um no sorry um David and Wayne I know you have both been uh on the other side of this equation for quite some time and now I would like you to tell us a little bit about yourselves just again briefly uh you know your your background and how this relates to your advocacy for better mental health the industry D you want to go first yeah I'll go first um I've worked with everyone from Prince to Green days also do a lot of rock and Country tours so in my world the basically the B Center so I deal with arms who have metal issues who are bipolar who have alcohol issues who have uh rug with issues so it's my job to kind of be the gatekeeper to kind of keep them away from that or also to try to get people like with the um colleague here to try to get them the help that they need um also with touring I have found that it also affects me because you know you're not sleeping on a set hours you're not eating set hours the uh gravitational stress that comes with all that make it's to on your body like I developed ulcer from being stressed out for dealing with difficult artist uh your skin breaks up you have psoriasis you have sleep you know you have your ex all the time this next morning and you have to get up okay we have to move for this city okay I have to get all of these both for8 B so it's a residual thing that just bu up for me when I got on the ground so what about you a I'm the uh I'm the Hope story up here actually U working for the same country artist for fo four and a half years and it took me a long time to find the uh the right right fit to a big part of it and uh once I've did I'm like huh doesn't have to me that hard you you get involved with people that are like you that have the same you know same attitudes you know and you get in a healthy environment it's it's doesn't have to be hard I I don't know a whole lot of people work in the country genre for the country artist like I said it's been Al always will be 13 years and I don't know a whole lot of people that have that kind of tenure anymore there are some certainly it doesn't seem to be the norm and uh my advice to anyone is if if touring is what you want to do just keep looking till you find your do you find your family do you find your home you sh be yeah exactly decent Point simp but so that does bring up really both the cause and as you say in your case solution life on the road is essentially a book and we are surrounded by the same people all the time we're also surrounded by what I would call momentary relationships you know the relationship to sure and then you go off and you do something else so within that bubble becomes very insular obviously um it's not just the abuse substance abuse things it's not even just the um it's not even all of the stuff you're talking about with uh Circa Rhythm disruption and things like that it's also the idea that we're psychology uh psychologically dependent on these other people and therefore it influences our day-to-day reality absolutely so when you are in this problem is there way is there a way to rationally address the fact that relationships in general are B they would be in the quote unquote real world sure yeah absolutely I mean you know you're on the road with the group individuals and you form these connections and it's it's clinically shaped say it's like a family and some family members get along with each other others don't and you have to figure out how to make it work or it breaks down and someone leaves the tour which be you know someone tour sometimes an artist tour doesn't turn out well it's yeah it's messy but that's where I'm so glad that there's a fireing Lev awareness about mental health and know post pandemic we were hoping that touring would be routed a little bit differently a little bit more feasible I think that some tours are I do know lot of manag companies that are taking mental health seriously and I have a manager who I work with and whenever they have someone new that they sign on I meet with them you know what's going on they always know that whether it's me as their therapist or someone else they can talk to someone so level awareness is really valuable because when you're on the road before it was you know everyone was like handing towards me was exhaustion we know it wasn't everyone exhausted there often times mental health issue where he know something is going on for and so the fact that there's a lot more awareness now and you know all of us who are on this panel come from different areas and it's important to bring that to everybody so that people start to learn how we're better together is there a greater awareness of that now are you are you guys fine that I mean in general with um not just with mental health but in general has has touring has that bubble changed in recent years I would say it's changed I mean yeah yeah it has it's I think it's changed for good person um yeah kind of be child of Ky better you know it does also B this down to the person work for them you know they got girl with the face on a t-shirt they they are going to understand who who those people are and how they save from their their lives um you can make better choices about whether you want to be there or not and you don't have to be there you don't if you're in a toxic Environ what there that's plenty of jobs well for me I found on my past couple tours um when I get a call to go out to a manage the first thing that management was say is I want you to speak with the artist first just to make sure YouTu drive one of the things I really found that as I move on from gig to gig is that when I speak to the artist they will tell me hey I have this issue you're going to we're going to need to address this on the road and I've been on tours where we take out a therapist on the road if we don't take a therapist out the road that artist will have mday Wednesday Friday 12: to 1 we don't do anything because they're doing a Zoom or teams meeting with their therapist we're not saying anything on their schedule if they're at the venue we just lock down that whole hallway because that person that is their soul time to kind of take care of their own personal wellbeing so that's one of the great things out so for that's one of the things I was wondering about because um you know obviously a lot of the crew that you work with now maybe may not be old enough to remember the the bad old days before the internet but I I do think that there's you know with all of the younger students that I work with now there's a much greater awareness of really all aspects of the music industry because we have so much more information on our fingertips and I wonder if has that changed or improved at all the uh awareness of the average person you find on crew now I I think it has I mean I think that more uh artists or music people or touring people are seeking help and are more comfortable saying that they need support they have a mental health issue that they might Mo medication and you know touring is and and in some cases being in the music industry it's such a unique Ro I mean there there's very few other circumstances where people are living together with their you know work colleagues and where you have you know separation from your family separation from your friends home and where you know if you're changing time zones and and cannot rely on on AAL schedule and I think there's also more awareness of how unique this is and how uh difficult it is and how challenging um and and you know American culture uh you know at least has this this attitude of you know the harder you work and the more you Rite the better and and I think that is absolutely true of of folks in the music industry and I think that there's a little bit of relaxation of that and recognizing that you don't get a gold star if you work yourself to death and that that that self-care and uh making sure that you're healthy enough to do your job are are actually good things and and celebrate I think also on what Whitney was saying it's kind of looking at a long call I mean we're now seeing artists who have been together for 60 years you know and that was the case early 9s when I first started and now it's like you don't want to burn out and you know not have their going on you know C that particular stage of their lives either because of their own know self-destruction or because you know just burn out so I think that's really important as well you know looking at long of artists I wanted to also mention that quinty and I were part by the organization excuse me that uh were all of us in our organization that's called the music industry the was Collective MITC we were all forly in the music industry and now we're all practicing as either therapist Physicians and wrote this book which you may have heard of which is uh touring and mental health the music industry manual and it basically has chapters on everything and anything to do with the road and music industry and I highly recommend you know check it out you know check it out from the library and I think it's a really valuable resource you might want look into my nation sponsored it likeed in several like 3,000 venues are wor more so something I mind as well do you find that you also get equal from outside of the touring Circle I mean because you know broadcast is just as as right with mental health issues recording studios I mean okay I come from the recording end and I know that I did regularly 20 hour days for weeks on end you know and that definitely has a toll on your mental health as well as well you find that this is a demic more touring because of the displacement issues where do you find it across the board uh I see clients across the board I see agents I mean my cents across the board I see agents managers FR La people crew know in addition to the other and it's pay more attention to those people I mean it's manager you know it's just be manager and you know you're watching over people that you have to kind of run after all the time and it's exhausting the I'm also produc done that as well as being the house being is a country you have to have at least two jobs but uh when I took the job um like you were saying ear I help for the weekend just to see you know if I got along on something they like to a little bit um be fun wow I'm really just L it yeah maybe I should ask another question oh sorry umm you're kind of also the whole crude crude way to look at it let all hav know what was involved in that when I took the CH region don't know that I would have taken because I spent a lot of time doing risk management and dealing in human resources I The Good the job CU a technical St once you've done it you know a couple thousand times it's not that hard teach people that exactly the the human research ask deal dealing with the people not just your own CS but local crws staff things like that that's really where you you have to go into a postive attitude on a daily basis you have to go to the door for the smile and handshake or you're not going to have a good in but if you do you that something okay now this this is probably an obvious question but a lot of this is age related correct I mean do you find that people who uh have not lived through the experience of should I say this self-abuse being Their Own Worst Enemy um usually that's a lesson that tends to be learned hard way um do you find that's more more common with younger people who are just on tour for the first time um I don't know if this answers your question or not but I think that um you know I I see people of all ages you know becoming more comfortable uh taking good care of themselves thinking about the mental health aspects of their job you know we we often come into let's say know a job on a tour with like an expertise in lighting but I you know you also need an expert expertise in communication with with your your you know tour makes you also need expertise in confence resolution you need expertise in all of these you know different areas to be successful and to be out on the road and to do a great job and so sometimes I see people who you know are much more seasoned have been on the road a long time a lot older and and they just realized that that the way that they were doing M this wasn't working anymore and that they were having you know major conflict you know they wen't being you know hired back to to you know certain tours or it it was getting in their way and and they you know looked and decided to to make some changes internally so so I think that um you know I see I see change among people of all ages you know sometimes it's because they've saw something Tik Tok and and sometimes it's because you know their their coping mechanisms were Landing them you know without a job or without you know people like them self awareness basically yeah yeah I I found for me is that the older Bruce who've done it like they can't do it anymore so they're altering their way of thinking of how Tor they're not doing five or six shows of the room that does brn them out and stresses them out so now I'm s towards where you have two days on they off for two days on two days on it's that way they get to those two days on you can like relax compress yeah exactly and a day off is a day off it's not a travel day it's not a photo shoot day it's not an interview day and so we're Advocates making it very clear that do just like do whatever you want you so you're talked a little bit about the bubble when you were in that bubble obviously you start to get to know people a little bit better but do you see are there warning signs or you like like David when you got a crew out on on a road are there a particular warning signs me obviously you know there are some things that are just painfully obvious right you know somebody shows a master whatever are there there more subtle warning signs that that somebody might be not having a mental health crisis but maybe headed towards one and if so what are your coping mechanisms for them yeah I've I've seen it quite a bit um I have an open door cherone mon Road like if you have an issue no matter if it's mental alcohol if you're bipolar you think you know come talk to me because we can try to figure it out U and if we can't figure it out know maybe we in the family to got to have a conversation with them because sometimes when you're on the road you don't know what's going on to that person's mind they might have family issues they might have health issues that you don't know they might have other issues that you don't know but my thing is if you don't talk about it you can't solve the issue or the problem so just tell people come talk to me like I'm I'm not a therap but I don't have kids and I was telling two ladies today I don't have kids because I take care of kids on the road I don't want to come home and take care of kids so I have the the same issues with my kids of the road if you have the problem come come see me because it's always the same thing I'm hungry I'm tired I have to pee I have to poo why are we going there why are we doing this interview why why why so just don't talk to me we can figure it out I think it's really interesting as far as talking about artists you know years ago you know early 90s when I started in newer artists because in some way as they and I want to say crew too because I don't want to forget about crew if you know the the first in last out they worth the Harvest and exactly and you know the level of addiction and everything so that they stay up go to sleep when they can they have a PO window is you know rampant but I think that um it's it's really important to see how older artists have come around to a place where they get a better with their bandmates often times you know we stories that so it's one you know you never thought these people would be getting back together because when they were in their 20s and 30s they were you you know G maniacs and when another thing to themselves so now they're older mature and on the other hand some younger kids guess the other the first ERS that go out on tour and just want to like home you know and then there're the ones who are more self-aware CU there is a different level of awareness for new artist these days and the artists who've been around they start they weren't like oh you know now I have new artists who work very into their mental health and know that they need to ad Advocate themselves and G in the S Set Side time from there and no real stick with it so I think that's support can I say one thing about warning signs um so there's an exhausted list of warning signs that someone might be having uh a mental help or you know other a challenge um out on the road in in oura alling so check out the full list there um but a few ways to to identify if somebody might be having an issue uh definitely uh sudden personality changes somebody is normally kind of shying withdrawn all of a sudden they're raros and outgoing and and talking a lot that's one you know obviously the opposite is true someone who all of a sudden withdraws you know changes in eating habits which um you know if you don't see them in caring for you know how many days uh you know this is something you might not notice except that you know on tour you know people do travel together being together um changes in sleep uh changes in in other daily routine you know if somebody's been you know really uh religiously you know working out or doing some other self-care you know activity and all of a sudden they're not um if uh they are you know just not seeming like themselves and not getting their their job done uh to the level that they were once were um I think that these are all signs that you should probably check in that person you know even even if they not you know a ruption manager you know you can say hey how are how are you doing what's what's going on I noticed that there's been some changes lately I don't know anything to add you don't have to be in charge to be someone who frankly gives a [ __ ] yes that's one thing I I I stress to to all our guys girls they on tour and you see somebody needs need a hand in we don't have they uh not my job you know it's interesting I've talked to a number of people who have said that really in auditioning for a tour they didn't necessarily have to Showcase their skills as much as just had to Pro they were good yeah really is so much about the relationships that you have that if if you can have a comfortable relationship with somebody just in passing then it's a good sign that may you be able to deal with all the stresses that intensify those relationships on the road in a bubble and that sense of connection is valuable and important because someone loses their and that lead to really Behavior so it's important to kind see that one who sure some people like just by themselves you know there's balance and you know then there are the others who are kind of they're ostracized the group people kind of you know aren really paying attention to them and you know it's just knowing that it's human connection so you don't have to be a therapist to be able to just know check in with someone and connect with them so that they feel like there's something that's tethering them and they're not just kind of spinning out of control F is another one I IM obviously on the road we know f is more compromise sometimes anyway what gr but uh it is noticed think like if someone is not taking care of themselves and you know just start to kind of well you know you mentioned H I actually want to get into a little bit about exercise is something some people do some people don't you know you're not going to get people to do that or not do that but can we talk about some basic stuff like nutrition cuz it's really you know and especially touring in America more than Europe I think it's it's really really hard to find healthy food you know and I I that's you know that's got to impact your state of money that for you know a week and a half of nothing but McDonald's right well boss if actually pass three or 24 to snippet in the contract writer that says no barbecue that's our country oh my God because everybody thinks I what you want to show up at whatever festiv County or whatever oh country I mean do do you do you find that now more more often people are like packing their own food and taking care of themselves a little bit more in terms of what they put in their bodies I have found yes um the Harvest people get food for or on the road is uh vegans like vegetarian absolutely relatively easy vegans are if you're also if you're uh what's it uh glutenfree we have of our last for a mon she was glutenfree vegan and she was lactose intolerant so was super difficult to get Stu for her so she just said hey my day off I'm just going to just give me uh 100 bucks I'll go buy my own food I'll put it the bus to take care of our so smart yep very smart and I think a lot of times that does happen because a lot of people are unprepared for you know especially if you're if you're hiring a tour through from a major mopol area they may not be aware of the fact that you know once you get outside of mainstream USA you know you're you're going to what the Dollar Tree basically for everything right sorry I've done too much travel in myself I think that that nutrition is uh incredibly important just like sort of all of those you know basic needs for you know for for a human being right we've got to have uh a comfortable place to sleep we've got to have shter we've got to have nutrition we've got to have um you know clothing and you know it sounds like really silly to be saying this out loud but there you know often you know people aren eating themselves you know they they aren't eating when they need to they aren't taking the breaks that they need to they aren't sleeping you know when they need to and uh and I think that you know obviously self-care begins you know before you're out on the road if you aren't taking care of yourself um you know on on your off that I I'm sure it's going to be a big Challenge on the road on the road it's an even an even greater challenge because there's a lot of you know Temptation around there's a lot of other things to do you have to be disciplined to take care of yourself you have to make the time you have to set aside um you know you have to prioritize it so I think that it's it's really critical that um you know that that one does that and if they're having trouble doing it then then it's something to have a conversation about something to to talk about with the folks that that you're working with and touring with and I think just speaking about sleep which is really difficult to you know get to on tour we wanted to cover a little bit of next my next question yes than you said by all means yeah so are like I there's something called Med Rhythm which is our natural sleep cycle well our natural Rhythm throughout the day and our Circ Rhythm you know goes through different stages our melatonin usually kicks in around 900 p.m. which is completely counterproductive to an artist or to those on tour because you're not ready to go to sleep at night I'm ready to then go exactly so the biological rhythms of touring professionals is completely counterintuitive to what is really healthy for us and it resembles a lot about shift workers which are people who do the opposite overnights that's shift sh that careful shift workers and we know that there is a tool that takes on us la ofly and I know we ignored it for decades but the studies that are coming out now are really work and prior time that we should be asleep is between 10 p.m. and 2 a.m. that is pretty much so it's figuring out where is the how can you take care of yourself way so that you are getting the rest that you need and when you're not that you're able to get back on some sort of schedule and it's really important to stop and recognize that obviously there's a lot we can do because of the nature of the business and shows are at night they're not at you know 5: they need go home 9 p.m. just maybe in Palm Springs retir that you do there but it's really important to notice and of course especially the fruit know that they're not getting sleep they need and it's figing out what this is Milli question what can we possibly do to be able to enable people to have that sleep studies that lack of sleep takes years off of your life it can lead to you know more higher levels of demena and you know manys that come with we don't don't have time for ourselves to rejuvenate that's when ourselves rejuvenate when we areep so you know that's man it's you not be afraid of the old men the afteron what do you uh that's a that's a question because know a lot of times a lot of sleep studies have have proven that you don't really make up that sleep you know just because you have a nap or something like that um I mean for me personally if I take an half na I'm guet for the rest of the day you know some people it works well some people it doesn't you what kind of coping mechanisms do you have for making up that St that we say is it is it more days off how do you guys handle that what do you recommend well I think that it's it's establishing um routing and schedule uh from the beginning that allows for uh people who well the whole crew really to get enough sleep and and that is you know 6 hours it's it's really tough to do and there's always a balance between you know financially what's going to work you know for the store and and you know what's going to work for health you know you're constantly going to be in this this tug of war trying to decide but if it it's it's you know creating the routing so that there is enough time for people to get adequate sleep and I think that if you know obviously you're not in a position where you're creating the routing and and you're you know you're on this tour and you just have to figure it out um uh you know it's knowing you know will that nap you know work for me you know can I sleep a little bit later in the morning can I sleep more on my day often and it's true you don't make it up you know if you don't sleep for a whole tour and then you've got to mix some up and sleep for the full two weeks you don't make it up but in a 24hour period if you don't have a good night's sleep and do have a nap that is helpful and lack of sleep leads to mistakes lack of sleep leads to uh you know lack of self-awareness and more difficulty communicating so in the long run it is beneficial to the whole tour and to the bottom line to build in on time for sleep we want to roll out for some questions I don't know how we have like a Q&A microphone these are all the mics we have so if you have questions we just have to shout really loudly or something like what hi so I from in the back uh so when you are on expl and you're trying to get therapist one of the problem that I a lot of my friends are having is that their therapist works at their home where they live but as soon as they are on the road they can't continue to care because that doesn't necessarily carry through to state to state to state and my wife works for so they're trying to figure out ways to carry it across the line so that about licing about the licing yeah so you can have that consistent care from state to state with your own person that you're used to how do you guys just like Rectify that or what are the that are up there okay so the question has to do with u being able to basically take your therapist on the road so to speak in terms of legalities of that as well as just availability because I mean Zoom call you can do anytime but are there are there questions regarding licensing legality of that can you address that yeah there are yes hi a message so we'll talk um yes there are legalities to know however there's also something in Psychotherapy called continuity of care which is looking out for the best interest of the client and I do with my clients they're on the RO I mean resil because the primary residents is in California also if I am practicing as a coach and not under my ther license I can do whatever I want throughout the entire world so that's kind of how I do but there are you know um you know some measures out there that they're trying to pass yeah why is recog States excuse me I recommend too that um you know some therapists are very conservative when it comes to this rule basically you get licensed in a state you're supposed to practice see people only in that state it doesn't make any sense that you're wearing professionals um obviously you can't going to be therapist in every city so um finding a therapist that is more flexible and more understanding which um is one of the reasons why MC was created um again therapist understand music business so that we would you know understand we needed to be more flexible in in this circumstance so uh finding a therapist that has you know a little bit more awareness about what uh the client needs and maybe you know finding them either through mitc finding them through music cares or another organization that has that level level of awareness and the therapists you know will you know they they'll work with you when once they get it yes but it will be it will be ideal but eventually we are to be licensed finally I mean it could be also chaos but I mean I think that in some respects it could be really beneficial but yeah I it is again part about finding the right fit or who the right therapists once you have a therapist you have a personal relationship with him in that sense and you want to be able amazing we have care which is things of things to me the best interest of the plan and I you know seeing someone with her in Tennessee the Tennessee Board it's not the California Board that will get mad at me Tennessee Board would be M then I would have to explain to them why I'm seen that client who was in Tennessee for one and anybody else questions did you come up here flash knows how to project I know he does ex do you have any specific approaches on how to eat uh you know the regular schedu SCH throughout different time zones you have any approaches any tricks anything you do cuz I try to eat during only an 8 hour period up the day I know that's very LA and I apologize for that but that's like intermittent fasting for the rest of you anyways uh uh but anyways do you have anything like that that you how you approach that uh honestly I'm I'm I'm probably not the best to to say this I rarely eat breakfast for me it's late lunch and after show food but the day is so etty I rarely get T don't I don't last time I ha three meals on the road I rarely eat breakfast sometimes if I eat breakfast I don't eat dinner uh this guy's a good cook too I've been to his house for dinner he knows food I try um it really isn't matter of just placing the time like if if you're if you're headed east when the the day half gone in your ping Rhythm you know what breakfast isn't going to be a thing just wait wait just literally wait till lunch time and start that year 8 hours your time frame if you're going the other way then you know ibly start at 7:00 a.m. and finish your 34 PM doesn't really help
you because you are that hungry but it'll still get you in your window just have to adjust to the time do you guys usually make the schedule or is it one of theal schedule like f and you are in charge in in our world I'm the one that sets the schedule um every every hour of the day is a lot yourself and we do have 8 hour off F so um we're not a mega Arena tour so we don't do like six or seven year loadings our loadings are um we're usually usually done Ved out on for the next city by between way we try to say civiliz as we can guys probably don't have as many issues because to those are not really as strong yeah physically yeah yeah we're not playing stadiums either been doing it for a good while now kind a fairly civilized so nice little place we [Music] got um a lot no drugs and alcohol but what's a good technique to deescalate situation because like when you're in the bubble it's like you know maybe it's not a good time to go across that Instagram post like you may get sued like let's wait on this like you know I'm always like trying to delay the process but um the time to think got it but what do you think it's like they're going to break up and you going to gone on stage so like what is a good way without all music managers was about pressure you know what I mean like you got to do this you can but like what's good like not so way to like hold down and wait for um I always say let's like adults and must have AOSS because yeah CU that that eliminates it right from the Geto it's not put all this on either person that that's they're having issues with each other it's like let's come in the office let's just sit down as human beings and adults and again this goes back to me I'm having children and it's the sit down let's talk it out a lot of times this having that conversation people will tell you what's really bothering them and it's not with the issue that they're having with that person they have a whole other stuff that's going on and just them dealing with that person's just another layer of them amping up so if you just have a conversation I have found that it just eliminates a lot of that stuff commic case yeah and it does always come down to communication doesn't it always always and and Jody and I actually wrote the chapter in the book about conflict resolution and uh anger management and deescalation so I'd encourage everyone to read that chapter U but also I I think that what David said was really smart and and if if it's possible I'd also encourage uh time I would encourage you know let's let's talk about this um we need to do it in one Dem work CU I've got this other thing that's happening and you all you know go take a walk around the walk or can you go you know uh you know do your workout see see if you can build in an opportunity for deescalation an opportunity for people to now doesn't always work because how they spend that hour could War them up or it could help them cool down but if you give me suggestions uh follow that can help well that guys I find um easier because we all know each other been together a while think actually Med G in between the two of them and say okay what's your problem okay what's your problem okay your problems aren't that far part let's talk about this like adults communic out sometimes you do have to get involved I think you know I'm I'm obviously I'm big on communication bed on yeah I know right hard hard to believe but to me that's probably the solution to 99% of the problems in the world it's just you know mean cut through the [ __ ] and talk about what it is we need to talk about and actually get it on the table and then if there's a conflict at least it doesn't mean you got to solve it but at least it means that everybody understands where the other person is coming from and that degree of empathy right there usually if it doesn't solve the problem that at least kind of BS things a little bit talking about it then you see what's really underneath it because it's not that you know that person took whatever it becomes you know being felt disrespected and you know then we have to address what's really going on under all of this and it's just you know opening up the conversation so tell me what's going on and also a off for coping skills that's really important too because especially for those who are young 3 27 and more impulsive uh it's harder for them to open not like just walk on some many soing like you D go for walk go you know just chilling fun go go um you know have a drink smoke anything um it's you know call someone maybe they have like a CH talk to or if there's somebody on the road or if this you know exercise meditation is is breing you know what is that and kind of pillers that I always like to put out that what but I have pillers that I something's off it's basically are are you eating and is it balanced not being good or bad is it balanced how are you sleeping is it balanced some might not sleeping long okay hydr movement doesn't have to be fierce exercise it can be just L movement what is your personal thing that you would address that I mean that you do is like I just say is it annotation is it shading is it you know reading is it whatever whatever that thing is that's that ingredient and then it's finally a sense of community because I think that a sense of community is really important as well to be able to feel like you have what who you can go to you can connect with it's the communication thing and you also put your finger on the one thing that's really important which is balance finding that balance whatever that is for you right which is going to be different for everybody but I think that you know all the things you mention are things that I think help to gain clarity as opposed to self-medicated which then just makes communication even more difficult in snowball and see I see hands out the back I think we got like another couple of minutes so um there follow me in the back going to have to come up here because we won't D you yes very you good hello so I am obviously very young and I'm like an aspiring touring technician I've done like weekend n and bands and stuff like that um I take things like everything that we've been talking about like exercising regularly like proper nutrition sleeping I take all of that very seriously and I was sort of wondering like being so young on tour how do you navigate those conversations like with the the advocate for yourself they may not take mental health super seriously like how do I say like hey I need to exercise every day like I need to of getting like these things in my mails and stuff like that what would you recommend it's all about charch U how are you approach your ti or Bora whoever you're going to get talk to most everyone will be helpful as they possibly can most enironment but again it's just all about Pro you go say hey got you talk to [Music] just this look this out up but with the my guns there straight guns in the band that go to the gym every single day Rel and it's usually about my00 afterno if you're in a situation where you might go to T well why not H to ask if not there's always a Time it's one of the things you just mentioned which I think is really important it's like not just approaching somebody and communicating clearly but making sure that you're not Hing a time when they're up to their asses and alligators you know just make sure you approach them at the right time and know that's not always easy to gauge either but got a try well I think we got time for one more and then they're going to kick us out of here hello um I'm a production manager as well but on film side so I've gone on for with film CL you know like IM artist um and I often times feel like a wari babysitter um welcome to the music shocked and I'm always happy to make a lot of different people happy um and I've found a change in myself or I've recently seen a change in myself I've gotten a lot stronger but I've also kind of like had to shut off certain parts of myself so I just wondering how you handle still being an authentic manager and a leader to people but also protecting yourself from getting drained and one word compartmentalization compartmentalization I would say first of all you can't make everyone happy that's that's like from the get go uh I have breathing exercises I do if I feel one like I'm getting nailed up because your job and all job you know we have to be on 24 hours a day and then you know sometimes our tours are small sometimes our tours are large and we can't make everyone happy you know we have to do our little few bits and Bs to try to rectify issues but I will do my best effort to try to make someone happy I know I'm a practice of BU is said we know that there's no way going to be able to make it's just possible so just do what you can and just move on I like I know that it's going to affect you because you're going to feel like oh boy they're they're really should me because I didn't resolve their issue but sometimes you can't resolve the issues you just kind have to I hear you when you want that's free and then just move on because you had like 9,000 other things that happen your days so you have to you have you have to you have to prioritize real yourself first if you can't yourself you can't have anyone you uh it's hard it's hard to me that could be you know an iron fish get away with it all day long and if you actually want to be you know a kind human being we try help these people help them help themselves St it's going to be yourself and stick to your GS be example because every every Situation's going to be different group of people every personality Mak it's going to be different so work right sometimes you have to eliminate the situation too yeah that's in your fight it's in phet you got to go home it's not you we F that have fun yeah like I said if she find once she find you family your your your people out the bubble and life will be a lot better love our bule dude love my B never going to retire if they never get kicked out of here any minute looks from Over Yonder so thank you all for coming thank you all thank you Daniel big man I'll go hey I'm Daniel Keller don't forget to hit the Subscribe button and join us each week for insights and sound
2024-03-30 16:31
