Anything Goes | PRO-SHOT (2021) [1080p]

so so so so   you sure croco hasn't called he was  supposed to meet me here and a half hour ago   another drink while you're waiting mr  whitney yeah please seven's my limit here you're off to england mr whitney  big stuff fred the biggest business huh   henley regatta boot the yale boat home bulldogs  bulldog eli yale play ball croco where the hell   have you been you're a half hour late relax  boss i have been taking care of business i've   got your steamer ticket english money train  ticket up to henley and i picked little eli   up at brooks brothers new letter sweater  looks terrific what about my passport nuts   oh i'm sorry boss i will pick it up first thing  in the morning i'm bringing you down on the boat   dammit crocker i want you down on wall street  first thing in the morning to sell all my shares to sell all my shares of amalgamated  prestoleum but boss the firm's entire   assets are tied up in amalgamated i got a  hot tip from charlie blodgett amalgamate is   gonna sink like the titanic you always told me  charlie blodgett was a liar and a drunk he is   but he's a yale man one for the road sir  yeah make it a double good night gentlemen anybody call for me fred dog yeah harriet nancy  lorraine uh two lorraines uh how about a hope hope   har court no but there was a lady came in asking  for you he's wrong billy it was only me reno oh my god we had a date that's okay  i'd say forget it but you already did   ah reno i am so sorry my boss is going to london  first thing in the morning i had a thousand things   to do for him i'm going to london in the morning  and all you had to do for me was buy me a drink   what'll it be ma'am a martini only make it with  rye and put a cherry in it instead of an olive   yeah two manhattans fred you know i'm getting  worried about you billy i don't think this wall   street job is good for you hey i'm making  35 dollars a week yeah but look at you look   at your coat what's the matter with my coat  it's got a fried egg on the pocket that's an   old school crest from where ps88 you're in trouble  kid if you keep acting like a stuffed shirt stock   broker you're going to turn into one yeah why do  i put up with this fred huh you're nuts about me   in fact i've got a great idea why don't you come  to london with me reno be serious i am serious   england won't be the same without you ah guys like  me are a dime a dozen you won't miss me over there why are the cute ones always so dumb my story is much too sad to be told but  practically everything leaves me totally cold   the only exception i know is the   case when i'm out on a quiet spring fighting  vainly the old and we and i suddenly turn and see your fabulous face i get no kick from champagne mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at  all so tell me why should it be true of you some get a kick from cocaine i'm sure that if i took even one sniff  that would bore me terrifically too   yet i get a kick out of you i get a kick  every time i see you standing there before me   i get a kick though it's clear to me you  obviously don't adore me i get no kick in a plane   nothing to do yet i get a kick out of you ah hell reno there's something i gotta  tell you yeah i'm in love i'm in cabin   13. no come on reno not with you i'm in  love with a girl god she is fantastic   in fact she is so fantastic she won't even  talk to me that's why i can't go to london   but all this time you were just giving me the run  around the run around well you had me thinking you   wanted to marry me how could you think that i  always treated you with respect exactly did you   ever try and get me drunk no did you ever invite  me up to your apartment to look at your etchings   no we've been in a taxi dozens of times did you  ever once make a pass no not one lousy pass you   shouldn't have led me on like that if you didn't  mean it reno i never meant to mislead you why the   hell you didn't you never even laid a hand on  me and i'm not used to men treat me like that i get no kick in a plane flying too high with some guy in  the sky is my idea of nothing to do   yet i get a kick out of your oh there's no cure like travel to help you  unravel the worries of living today when   the poor brain is cracking there's nothing like  packing a suitcase and sailing away take a ride you'll be singing ah excuse me captain how mr eli whitney come  aboard mr whitney is in the bar i thought you   kept the bar closed to your sails he had a note  from his doctor captain captain a catastrophe   we may have to delay the sailing what is it  icebergs a hurricane worse charlie chaplin just   wired he's cancelling his birth and sailing on  the mauritania good god the passenger list quick hope har caught the debutant that's not bad  the normandy has jimmy walker and machine   gun kelly lord evelyn oakley nothing  wealthy english man wait a minute napoleon that's the dessert menu then we've got nobody   quick run down to the stork club and see  if anyone's left over from last night   hey would you just calm down how can i calm down  we're about to spend six days pretending to be   something that we're not and why why so we can  hit your free ride on the world's classiest ocean   liner that's why and you think you're the only  person on this barge pretending to be something   that he's not half the passenger captain whoa  where's the celebrities this tub is deader than   the flying dutchman oh fellows please my two stray  sheep come along i'm the gentleman of the press   i am henry t dobson not v henry t dobson are you  serious as you no doubt have heard i'm on my way   to the westminster conference where i shall  present my two newest converts luke and john luke here is a compulsive gambler who as a  reminder of his form of shame still carries   with him a deck of cards and poor john here we  know sweeney oh right now we're getting somewhere   i'll say hey reno what are you doing on board  this scout same thing i do with my nightclub   boys i'll be saving sinners twice a night  in the ship's lounge well i see you bought   the sinners with you meet my angels purity  hi chastity hi charity hi and i'm virtue hi the easy kind no doubt say brother is that a  pass miss sweeney i have no interest in either you   or your fallen angels i'm ashamed to be seen  in public with you how about a picture boys   please if you could just hold there make  sure to send a couple to the archbishop   john i tell you boys it ain't easy  being york's most notorious evangelist   come who will lead this  sinner beside distilled waters what which way to the bar oh oh hey girls  give us the hallelujah yeah hallelujah hey look hope harcourt oh hey miss harcourt are  you presiding at the golden silver ball this   year how about the newport cotillion gentlemen my  daughter's debutant days are over she's about to   be married married on the level yes it's true i'm  marrying lord evelyn oakley we're getting married   at st paul's cathedral and i'm very very happy  hey edith how about a smooch i beg your pardon   oh that's a kiss your highness no how marvelous  you know i'm making a collection of expressions   you americans use our smooch is a kiss  oh i say darling how about a smooch e gad evangeline hawkhorn  elijah whitney down boy down   eli you haven't changed in 40 years me look at  you you always did know how to fill a girdle   will i really have some respect for the memory of  my late husband of course forgive me you know if   it's any consolation i was just coming out of the  stock exchange when he took off from that ledge he jumped like a yale man   thank you eli boss your passport oh my gosh eli  you know my daughter hope and this is her fiance   lord evelyn oakley her fiance german word  crocker it means they're getting married i   don't believe it i still don't either and yet a  week from now my little hope will be a lady this   calls for a drink come along everybody isn't  mr crocker going to join us no no no he's got   a date down on wall street get going crocker  and sell those shares yes sir this way oh boy all the shore that's going ashore  oh the shore that's going ashore   who is god the creator of all things where is god   god is everywhere and what does god know  who's going to win the kentucky derby   you have you seen a minister a what fbi we're  looking for a gangster dressed up like a minister   you seen him uh yeah he went that way show us oh  i got to see somebody in the bar show us look guys money the coast is clear hey are we in england yet we are snake eyes he  hasn't shown what the hell was snake eyes come on   he's public enemy number one take care of himself  oh my god you don't suppose the cop snapped him i   gotta find him snake eyes snake quiet quiet we're  trying to make a getaway here okay now look what   you made me do that's my straddle various ah oh  wow wow a fellow cleric no i'm out of here allow   me to introduce myself dr the reverend henry  t dobson are you on your way to the conference   no i was thinking of going to bed early tonight  okay oh uh i mean the westminster con no you   say i'm not a west minister i'm more in the  east what is your field doctor me i'm a kind   of missionary you know missionary where way  out in china oh i served in china for years   oh wow that's amazing yeah well i wasn't  actually in china i was more ah i see you   were in indochina that's right i was it was indoor  china yeah yeah yeah and you were outdoor china   that's so funny here yes we'll have lots to talk  about meowshi xiaotang ma i'm sorry miyaoshi   xiaotang yeah you took the words right out of  my mouth hey there he is no no no no gotcha moon   and hand me this instant i am the reverend henry t  dobson oh my god you're taking him away he's gone   he's gone what are we gonna do excuse me captain  is there a casino on the ship no there is now   luke stop what are you doing we're going to end  up in the brig i just wanted to say bon voyage to   the lady boss you'll be saying bon voyage to your  job crocker unless you get the hell off this boat   i can't find snake eyes anywhere what do i do he's  my man he's my lie perma irma forget snake eyes   okay final call oh the shore that's going ashore  you blew it snake guys now what'll i do with this   passport and ticket could you let me have them who  are you give him the goods come on he saved my ass   yeah thanks a lot murray hill cleaners murray  hill cleaners why do you get a name like that   the yellow pages final tall all the shore  that's going ashore final call oh what am i   doing i'm supposed to be down on wall street i  hate to say goodbye sweetheart by the seashore so kiss me pretty wet in english oh is   me no worries last season for supper last cheating for supper   hi excuse me parser i'm looking for miss  whole parkour is she in the dining room she   and lord oakley were down for the eight o'clock  seating mr um oh flowers murray hill of flowers   murray hill flower i mean cleaners nuts what  is your name sir billy crocker oh hey billy   good to see you you came after all i didn't  see you come on board where you been hiding   how'd you get a ticket oh you're still sore  at me for last night listen billy i wanted you're not sorting me for last night well you  should be i was out of line ah forget it reno no   no it's your love life if you're satisfied with  second best forget about me and go after miss   fantastic well i did she's on the boat fantastic  oh reno i'm gonna mess i'm gonna lose my job my   boss is gonna lose his shirt and all because of  some damn dame well she must be some damn dame   oh reno she is you are gonna love her her name  is hope hope harcourt hope harcourt the debutant   hope harport the one who came out on a zeppelin  the one who chases foxes on the cover of life   what are you saying she's out of my league billy  no maybe she is billy no no no i can see it now   guys like me deliver her groceries  they don't walk her down the aisle   oh yeah besides she's engaged to some  english guy an earl or something billy we've been friends forever right so friend to friend let me ask you something   where the hell's the old crocker confidence  you think some tea bag can compete with you   you think he's got one tiny fraction  of your brains your looks your your at words poetic i'm so pathetic that i  always have found it best instead of getting them   off my chest to let them rest unexpressed i hate  parading my serenading as i'll probably miss a bar   but if this ditty is not so pretty at  least it'll tell you how great you are   you're the top you're the colosseum  you're the top you're the louvre museum   you're a melody from a symphony by strauss  you're a bengali shakespeare son of your   mickey mouse you're the nile you're  the tower of pisa or the smile   on the mona lisa i'm a worthless check a  total wreck a plop but if baby i'm the bottom   your words poetic are not pathetic on the other  hand babe you shine and i can feel after every   line a thrill divine down my spine now gifted  humans like vince and humans might think that   your song is bad but i got an ocean i'll  second the motion and this is what i'm going   to add you're the top you're mahatma gandhi  you're the top you're napoleon brandy you're   the purple light of a summer night in spain  you're the national gallery or garbo salary or   cellophane you're sublime you're a turkey  dinner you're the time of the derby winner you're an arrow caller you're the top  you're a coolidge dollar you're the   nimble tread of the feet of freda stare  you're an o'neal drama your wishlist   you're an angel you simply tu-tu-tu-tu-veen  you're a botticelli you're kids you're a boon you're the damn boulder you're the i'm you're the top you're my swanny river you're  the top your goose is liver you're the baby   grand of a lady and a gent you're a dress  from sex is your next year's taxes you're a i'm a frightened frog that can find no lord you're the boats that glide on the sleepy cider  z you're an old dutchman you're a lady aster   broccoli your romance you're the  steps of russia you're the fans i'm a broken dog try taking deep breaths dear that always helps me maybe you should go lie down and leave you  all alone i wouldn't dream of it besides i'll   be right as rain as soon as we escape these  swells but the seas as flat as a pancake dear   oh hope please i wish you wouldn't mention  food just now sorry i'll go get you a bromo hi you hope how you doing hello billy billy you  know you are beautiful when you're about to faint   really i didn't know you were sailing well  i didn't either then what are you doing here   i'm selling life preservers oh hope i stowed away  to be with you i couldn't let you go oh billy billy this is my fiance evelyn oakley  ah billy crocker pleased to meet you   forgive me forgive me i'm afraid i rather overdid  it in the dining room oh yeah me too did you have   the sweet breads best brains i ever ate philly  hold on i've never seen them served that way   before with jelly deals and head cheeks billy  stop it night hope billy was that fair fair i   find you standing here in the moonlight with him  i didn't shoot him i didn't push him overboard i   thought i was more than fair you're being  terribly bad billy why we hardly know each other   hardly know each other we met one night at a party   we danced had a little too much wine we took a  little spin around the park you call five hours in   the back of a taxi a little spin four hours five  remember you fell asleep afterwards i remember   and then i took you down to that little cafe by  the docks we ate breakfast as the sun came up   yeah we talked about going to california getting a  little bungalow raising orange trees raising kids   billy that was a fantasy things  like that just aren't done yeah   yeah i guess you're right me and you huh who am i kidding i know too well that i'm  just wasting a precious time in thinking   such a thing could be that  you could ever care for me   i'm sure you hate to hear that i adore you dear  but grant me just the same i'm not entirely to blame for you'd be so easy to love  so easy to idolize all others above   so sweet to awaken with so nice  to sit down to eggs and bacon with   we'd be so grand at the game so carefree  together that it does seem a shame that you can see your future with me  cause you'd be all so easy to love so worse the yearning for so swell to keep every home fire burning for oh we bloom how we'd thrive in a cottage  for two or even three four or five so try to see your future with me cause you'd be so easy to billy this is all wrong i'm marrying  evelyn nothing can change that you can   change that all you have to do is say no if  you don't leave me alone i'll make a scene you love me hope you're gonna marry me we'd be so grand at the game so carefree  together that you don't see marshalls cause you'd be so easy to i want to row on the crew mama  that's the thing i want to do mama   to be known throughout yale as i walk about it  get a boil on my tail and then talk about it   the operator get me state room  1616. mrs evangeline harcourt evangeline it's eli eli whitney listen  i just had a swell idea you know i'm all   alone down here and you're all alone  up there at least i hope you are hey so what who cares what time it is my turtle dove   i think of you and time stands still why  your face alone would stop a clock hello must be on her way i'd like to be a big bloke mama  and learn that new argentine stroke   mama you'll see your slim sun putting crimps  in the crimson when i roll on the varsity crew   would you listen to that squawking  yeah how do i look mooney   where do you think you're going the boiler room  a certain sale is gonna show me the finer point   self-stoken oh please you're going nowhere  with your big mouth you could land us both   in sing sing sit down we're gonna play cards  i don't want to play card hey irma shut down   yeah who is it it's me billy oh  that's the kid um at one moment my son   we're saying our prayers say the prayers say the  prayers are father who art in heaven halloween's   my name the kingfish come d-dum-dee-dum on  earth as in new haven come in my son come in and bless you my child what you seem troubled oh i gotta lay low for a  while i don't think the person believes i'm murray   hill cleaners well maybe i can assist you in some  way i don't think a minister can help me doc the   girl i'm in love with is gonna marry another guy  yeah well i could kill the other guy you know   [ __ ] when i row on the varsity crew that's  my boss if he sees me on this ship i'm dead   yeah well i bet he couldn't  see you if i swiped his glasses   i don't know what church you belong to  doc but you're one hell of a christian   one moment my pet the game's afoot  entree voom on petite cabbage oh my dear you look ravishing yeah i think i need  to shave myself you know what what the hell padre   what are you doing here i've come to take up  the collection i thought you did that in the   chapel why are you planning to attend chapel yeah  well no what i'm pony up or i'll come back in the   morning when you're nursing your hangover oh look  at that that's funny i seem to be wearing someone   else's hat hey can you read the initials in there  i don't think i should bless you no bless you wait where are my glasses you show you  what i'm on when you barged in here what   this is my stateroom what am i doing in here  i've never been so insulted in all my life yeah so i stole his glasses now we're gonna  be okay as long as the captain doesn't show up   who is that the captain hold on one moment thank you yeah i'll come in and that  my dear is how goliath slayed moses and the whale amen amen uh sorry to disturb you  doctor but does the mr murray hill   cleaners occupy this cabin no not  very often why something wrong   oh we've had a radiogram from washington the man  you're traveling with is not murray hill cleaners   he's snake eyes johnson public enemy  number one public enemy number one wow   santa claus hey don't worry doctor my men can  handle him if he does turn up just give a shout no just practicing stop me if i'm out of line doc but i  don't think you're really a minister   okay i'm going level with you right i'm  not really a minister i'm moonface martin the famous gangster yeah public enemy number 13.  

help play shot it emma hey hey hey you're not  gonna turn me in are you doc relax we're pals   don't where you're going well i got a wedding to  bust down that you can't go out there the captain   thinks you're snake guys johnson hey what i need  is a disguise oh yeah what like a gorilla suit   or a suit of armor or something or a sailor  suit yeah you want to sail a suit no problem ah sailor's life is supposed  to be a hell of a lot of fun   yes but when you're a sailor take it  from me you'll work like a son of a gun   they give us jobs of every kind and chores of  every sort but sweat away say lie you don't mind   cause you know when you hit port there will  always be a lady fair a jelly fair or a sadie fair   there'll always be a lady fair who's waiting there  for you there will always be a lady fair to smooth   your troubles and to muss your hair there'll  always be a lady fair who's waiting there for you there will always be girls caress to  change your answer from a note to yes   there'll always be a lady fair  who's waiting there for you yes sir keep this quiet he's public enemy  number one we don't want to set off a panic   among the passengers you check the four  deck and report to me on the bridge aye sir   and remember he is a master of disguise this is ridiculous these pants must be six inches  too short yeah i don't think irma picked the guy   for the length of his pants oh don't shoot i've  come hallelujah the lord uh excuse me sir what   was that noise that was the trap shooting contest  crap shooting contest skeet shooting doctor yeah   first prize is 100 whoa hey can you use your own  gun of course yeah see you later hey wait a minute really mother we didn't lose  all our money in the crash   why if i changed my mind right now and decided not  to marry evelyn we'd be fine we would not be fine you two haven't called have you oh dear oh i'm going to marry her mother  everything will be all right oh god yes uh excuse me ma'am are you mrs evangeline harcourt   why yes the captain has asked me to  find you the ship has hit an iceberg all the lifeboats are leaking except  one the captain is saving the last two   places for you and your daughter billy this  isn't fair because if it's fair the ship is   sinking oh god oh do i have time to go back for  my jewelry hurry and remember not a word to anyone i hope you're proud of yourself billy now that  you mention it i am 12 hours after you tell me   to leave you alone forever i got you all to myself  oh sorry madam and not quite all to yourself good   morning mr whitney ah oh hello my dear yeah i'm  looking for a sailor take a look at this one   ah now i want to send a wire uh this goes to  william crocker whitney building new york city   uh crocker wire confirmation of amalgamated sale  at once got that uh better have him read it back crocker wire confirmation of amalgamated sale  at once you know you remind me of somebody stop   look out what was that biggest seagull i ever  saw one oh oh gotta run i'll see you later they've gone oh captain thank god where do i go where would you like to go the lifeboat the lifeboat drill is tomorrow  morning madame that the sailor told us   told you what the ship is sinking what a  joke ladies and gentlemen she's only joshing i suggest you have a little talk  with the ship's doctor madam   and in the meantime stay out of the bar go on go on just do what i told you but what if school's me father yeah can i assist you  in some way my son brother luke has been   playing cards look yeah that's the wages of  sin for shame go have a few marries will you   so you've been playing cards yeah  can you uh can you shoot craps   no neil christian watch closely right put up  your money i put up my money i throw a number   if i throw the same number before i throw a  seven i win if not you win goober craps i win   something wrong here hey thanks a lot yeah don't  mention it what'd i do you walked out on me i   nearly got nailed by my boss and everyone's  pointing at me in this stupid disguise i don't   knock the disguise come on it's practically  as good as mine hey billy how you doing uh-huh okay quiet you don't know me i'm a haunted man   ah there he is don't shoot i'm i'm  flying fish they go to flying fish my god doctor have you seen mr cleaners yeah as a matter   of fact i think i saw him  going into the missing mask we don't have him isn't that yeah it must have  been someone else yes taylor come with me i want   you to help me find someone bye eye sir who's he  looking for he's looking for billy billy ought to   be a big help to him what hell it's reno sweeney  i say um lord evelyn oakley might i have your   autograph why not do you know i spent the most  smashing night in your club lordy lordy saints   preservers your singing stirred me into a frenzy  had me dancing about like bo jingles thank you   are you drunk or crazy good luck reno sweeney oh i say um why don't we all have tea in my  cabin i know that my fiance miss harcourt would   love to meet you that's very sweet of you but i'm  afraid she'd love to oh marvellous shall we say   four o'clock four o'clock see you later elevator mooney that's the tommy that's been making  time with billy's girl this is going to be like   consorting with the enemy exactly here's the plan  right you get to his cabin nice and early wearing   something that slips off easy i bust in i catch  him tearing the clothes off and then we blackmail   him into breaking off the engagement moon that's  despicable you don't like it i love it yeah yeah we should have teamed up years ago  we're two of a kind all right blindness   through thick or thin not a day right or  wrong if you're ever in a jam here i am   if you ever need a pal i'm your gal if you ever  feel so happy you land in jail i'm your veil it's i'm digging that if you ever lose your teeth when you're out  to dine follow mine it's friendship friendship   just a perfect blank ship with other friends if they ever black your eyes put me  wise if they ever cook your goose uh if you ever lose your mind i'll be kind oh  baby if you ever lose your shirt i'll be hurt if you're ever in a mill and get shot in half what's going on here if they ever crack your spine drop a line if they ever cut your throat  write a note if they ever like to be partners yeah we are partners  just for the moment for the song what's your problem what oh  yeah yeah i forgot about them what are you waving for i don't  know we're supposed to be at sea   look we got to come up with a big ending  okay cause i don't like the look of the crowd   okay let's go for it okay no i need another breath okay  you ready yeah oh yes please come on get it right okay i feel good now the background come on you know so kiss me pretty wench in english ah come in did you ring sir yes you might bring  me my tea please and step in it i'm sorry sir uh i i mean um sit on it sir  oh gosh i i just bring it right away will you   oh yes sir i'll step on it step  on it it makes no sense at all   ah come in gosh i say your yanks are fast um just  put it on the bed will you i really wanted it   before i started to dress i do hope that it's good  and hot nobody's complained yet no timmy i say i i   thought you were the man with my teeth what were  you going to do if it was cold cut off his head you mean excalibur old family heirloom mother  harcourt wants me to wear it for the wedding   you know it's odd but the old dears is taken  with things english as i am with things american   well i'm glad you feel that way because  this american certainly feels gaga about you   gaga i'm not sure i follow does this make it any  clearer oh marvelous to feel gaga about a person   means to rub his neck no you don't understand i  mean you do things to me do things to you i mean   you send me send you where one look at you and i  get hot pants oh dear me would a bit of ice do any   good evie hot pants means that i'm crazy about  you hot pants means that you're crazy about me   oh smashing because i think  you're the absolute rat's pajamas well i say um is something funny yeah but it's also kind of cute   okay what's going on in here ha ha  so this is what i find huh oh you   beast you animal you're the spoiler of innocent  girlhood look at this poor child look at her   a clothes torn off by your fiendish attack  hey hey standing there in all our nakedness there's something wrong here there's nothing  wrong here just hold on a minute moon face   no do you think your girlfriend's gonna marry  you after this and don't think she won't   know because i am going to tell her oh  do do only make it a bit thicker she   does complain that i lack further hang  on busy you you got the wrong attitude   you're talking to a very dangerous man oh  go on padre you're an old sweetheart and   you know it okay okay i'm gonna prove to you how  dangerous i am okay you know i'll show you yeah do you mind waiting here i want milan you know i have noticed that these clergies  sometimes go a bit old oh evie there's   something that i gotta tell ya this was a  setup a setup we were going to frame you   frame me he was supposed to  bust in and catch us in a clinch oh i say you mean he thought i was going to make  love to you that was the idea oh that is exciting   you mean to say that he thought that you and okay  right does this prove how serious this is are you   nuts put that thing down no put it down no down  oh it's all right padre you thought that i'd take   advantage of miss sweeney here and you came to her  rescue and i admire you for it i really admire you   enormously oh what's the expression i've got hot  pants for you you come any closer and i'll shoot evening folks i trust you're enjoying the crossing  this is the dullest passenger list i've ever   seen there's nobody on board but nobodies no  celebrities i want celebrities oh well um how   about uh gertrude ederle the channel swimmer well  is she on board not exactly but there she goes   oh well i never what does he take us for it's like  crossing on a tugboat next time i'm booking with   cunard what does hope see in that guy hey it must  be her mother yeah she's the one behind all this   hey i could shoot the mother moon no okay i got  another plan yeah well i hope it's better than   the last one any sign of that criminal yet men uh  not yet sir apprehend that man immediately aye sir   and if you see any celebrities apprehend them  too yes sir hey did you hear that yeah i got   to do something about this disguise stay out  of the kitchen well i'll put you on the menu   sailor find out who this belongs to will you hi  sir now if only i had a beard or a phony mustache cheeky cheeky now now they always find their way home his home  is in oyster bay long island be calm my dear   oh you're like a trembling fawn here have a snort  i told you eli liquor has never touched my lips   you know a shortcut cheeky cheeky oh evangeline just look at the moon  huh this night was made for romance my sweets will you marry me i'm afraid i cancer i'm already married  what but there is a lady around the corner   looking for a dog why don't you try  her yeah um thank you you're welcome oh quick get rid of him yeah just  watch it with a dog just get rid of him come on come on where is that dog dear me are you all right yeah yeah i'm fine oh  captain captain thank god i need your help what   is it this time madam i can't find my little  cheeky why it's right beside your little nosey how could you do that oh relax  dogs are good swimmers this way man we'll check the library then the ballroom  he's got to be on board somewhere are you sure this is gonna work look come on do  you want me to take care of the mother or not   oh right oh excuse me miss  we're from old london town and we're looking for a lord  evil in oakley do you know him   i should say so he's going to marry my daughter oh  no something bro allow me to introduce myself i am   lord evelyn oakley the man you think you know as  lord evelyn oakley is in reality my brother edna   your brother edna that's right his real  name's mona but he changed it secret he's   a bit deranged you know several months ago  he escaped from the family suite at bedlam   you have a family suite at bedlam that's right  i was driving him down to savile row for his new   straight jacket and suddenly blinky blankie  blindly got me off give me the slip he did   who is this man oh my brother's keeper oh dear  oh this is most upsetting it's all right don't   don't worry we know how to handle him oh yes  we have been through this a million times   you mean this has happened before oh yeah yeah  yeah yeah he marries them murders them marries   them and murders them murders their mothers  but he seems so normal they all say that she   doesn't know the signs don't tell sorry  the fatal shot what signs well there's a   certain phrase he uses just before he snaps  have you ever heard him say what that's it i've been looking for you everywhere  mums i say how do you like it jimmy is she all right sorry she's  just playing dead oh my god mother   mother billy what have you done hope i can  explain everything you just don't know when   to stop do you billy his name isn't billy dear  it's evelyn and evelyn isn't evelyn he's edna   and edna's really moana i'll show you who he is  it's him hey he's getting away come on after him   evelyn will you please take mrs harcourt  back to her cabin right here what do you   mean what else can go wrong there  there mums cheered up woof cheeky   how long are you going to keep up this ridiculous  act i beg your pardon you're in love with him why   don't you just admit it i really don't think  that you know he may want you now but he's not   going to stick around forever half the women  in new york are crazy about him by just the   other night one of the best looking dames i know  practically proposed to him she did who was she me people oh i'm sorry forgive me i just can't help it  eh i said i just can't help it oh if only i'd   have told him how i really feel how's that i'm  crazy about him eh i said i'm crazy about him   oh this is tragic i've ruined my life i've ruined  his life i've ruined everything dull things   don't look that bad to me the night is young the  skies are clear and if you wanna go walking deep it's delightful it's delicious and still lovely i  understand the reason why you're sentimental cause   so am i it's delightful it's delicious it's  still lovely you can tell at a glance what   a swell night this is for romance you can hear  dear mother nature murmuring low let yourself   go so please be sweet my chickadee and when i kiss  you just say to me it's delightful it's delicious   it's delectable it's delirious it's dilemma  it's the limit it's deluxe and still lovely i feel a sudden urge to sing the kind of deity  that invokes the spring so control your desire to   curse while i crucify the verse this verse you've  started seems to me the tin pantifus of melody   so spare me please the pain just skip  the damn thing and sing the refrain the night is young the skies are clear and if  you want to go walking deer it's delightful   it's delicious it's so lovely i understand the  reason why you're sentimental cause so am i   it's delightful it's delicious it's still lovely  you can tell at a glance what a swell night this   is for romance you can hear dear mother  nature murmuring love let yourself go so   please be sweet my chickadee and when i kiss  you just say to me it's divine it's stuffing lovely so so so so   so so please be sweet my chickadee  and when i kiss you just say to me it's delightful it's delicious   it's still lovely do we want cognac or cointreau in the wedding cake  the wedding cake of course i have to find out what   the groom wants well cognac quantroll whatever  makes you happy mom mom billy stop it no you're   right you're right no more kidding around uh mrs  harcourt hope has something she needs to tell you   honey you're on honey hope what's this all about  go on tell her baby the world won't end i can't   all right i'll tell her no look hope i understand  how hard this is for you but you have to choose   i say anyone have hot pants for a game of  shuffleboard captain attempt well don't jump ladies and gentlemen no calls for alarms and gentlemen the man we've just arrested is  snake eyes johnson public enemy number one take him away man you idiot release that man yay  but i thought you wanted him clapton irons clapton   irons a celebrity like snake eyes johnson let  me get this straight if i'm just a stowaway you   throw me in jail but if i'm a famous murderer  you roll out the red carpet you'll be my guest   of honor at the captain's table hang on hang on  he's not the only famous gangster on this ship   what do you mean doctor i mean i'm not really a  minister you know i'm uh yeah i'm moonface martin yeah i'm a public enemy too public enemy number  two um yeah moon well ladies and gentlemen it   appears that we have not one but two famous  criminals on board let's make them feel at home oh mr johnson can i have your autograph can i  touch your trigger finger did you ever kill anyone   who looks like me hey baby room for one more  oh what fun go on darling ladies and gentlemen   i give you the honorary captain of the  ss american hip hip hooray hip hip hooray   times have changed and we've often rewilded  the clock since the puritans got a shock   when they landed on polemic rock if  today any shock they should try to stem   instead of landing on plymouth rock  plymouth rock would land on them   in olden days a glimpse of stalking was  looked on as something shocking but now   god knows anything goes good authors too who once  knew better words now only use four letter words   or writing throws anything goes the world has gone  mad today and good's bad today and black's white   today and day's night today when most guys today  the women for rice and they're just silly jigglers   and though i'm not a great romancer i  know that you're bound to answer whenever my when grandmama whose age is 80 and  nightclubs is getting made when you go eddie when mothers if driving fast cars you like your bull  bars you like if old hymns you like a fair intruding and nudist parties so oh so so so so the world has gone back today chairs tonight there's going to be some thoughts  about it for public enemy number one it's time for killing the fatty cat and i'm   throwing the party on behalf  of public academy number one blessings for taking this foreign i mean you know you break your back to cheat and steal  and kill and you wonder if it's all worth it   then something like this happens you're beautiful   let's go girls we've got a show to do so how  do you like the royal treatment snake eyes nice listen kid i just saw hope she's all broken up oh oh a tough guy huh well suppose i told you she   wants to marry you you're  kidding me she said that no come on billy you know she's nuts about you she  wants to marry you she just doesn't have the guts   to say so ladies and gentlemen miss sweeney's  service is about to begin last call for drinks   before the service hey showtime toots  uh i would appreciate if you would cease   addressing me as toots and henceforth call  me by my right name mrs moon face martin let me guess you performed the ceremony  yourself oh god it's not legal is it miss sweeney's service will do you good eli you  need to reform your ways what's the matter with   my ways you proposed to a sailor i'm a lonely man  evangeline hey dudley get a load of this my dear   may i say you look like a million bucks thanks  fellas i'm touched whoa that's an expression   evelyn i really don't feel up to this i want to  go back to my cabin don't be silly darling look   it's snake ears even no i say mr johnson mr  johnson who am i you dirty rat you dirty rat   no coward oh damn evelyn stop it  hey you want to make her happy pal   do an imitation of me you can be very cruel well  that's how he got to be number one oh wait come on   and now ladies and gentlemen the  ss american is pleased to present   the world's most sensuous sermonizer her  high stepping holiness miss reno sweetie brothers and sisters we are  here tonight to fight the devil   there's only one way to fight the  devil and that's in the open i want   each of you to turn to his neighbor and  say bless you brother bless you sister there's only one way to send the devil  packing and that's to confess your sins   who will be the first to  speak out and say i'm a sinner   i'm a sinner thank you sister who's next  i'm a sinner who's next go ahead elijah yeah well um there was a time when i drank  yeah what time was that half an hour ago   hallelujah i'm cursed with sex appeal it's been  my downfall she's not confessing she's advertising   come on get busy who will give us a  real confession um i say may i have a go   speak up brother i want to hear this um  while i was visiting singapore some time ago   there was a girl named plum blossom  of whom i became extremely fond   eventually we made a bit of unpremeditated  whoopee in the willows and i enjoyed it very much i was worried about your brother but  i feel much better now hallelujah   do you hear that playing yesterday  do you know who's playing real game real i've been a sinner i've been a scam but now i'm  willing to trim my lamb so blow gabriel blow but now since i have seen the light  i'm good by day and i'm good by but when i got to satan's door i heard you blow  it on your horn once more so i said sailing   and now i'm all ready to play climb up the mountaintop and start to blow and play all day wow um hahaha so so expensive dinners okay oh okay foreign so but when i got to satan's door i heard you  blow it on your heart once more so i stand   and now i'm already okay now i wanna join your happy fan and play all day hallelujah they've seen the light wait a minute what about snake eyes we  haven't heard his confession yeah we yeah all right all right you want a  confession i'll give you a confession   three weeks ago i met a girl and i well  i fell in love with her how did i show it   i hounded her i embarrassed her i made her  cry i'm sorry hope i just want you to be happy   i'll never bother you again what's going  on he doesn't sound like snake eyes johnson   i'm not i'm not a gangster i'm just uh a broken  down broker then he's a phony i want my money back   they ought to give him the chair plus her clap  that man in iron get behind me kid we'll shoot him something definitely wrong here captain yes captain is it true that  you have the authority to perform   weddings on board this vessel it is then  i would like you to schedule one for 10   a.m tomorrow these young people are eager  to get married and they would like to do so   before anything else can go wrong mother  better make that 9 30. as you air schmadem i first knew love's delight  when presto out of the blue   our dream appeared one night  and whispered how do you do   i knew i was tempting fate but  i took it straight to my heart my fears were right and now we must dream goodbye you made my romance sublime now it's time to fly for the stars have fled  from the heavens the moon's is suddenly strangely still   beat me   who said when about love is not all peaches and cream little god okay kid come on take a  card take a call on any card okay don't worry i'll take one for you now look  at it okay don't worry i'll look at it for you now don't tell me what it is i don't want to play cards shoot crap yeah i  was thinking of shooting myself hey come on kid   kid all right give me one good reason to live ah  cherry cheesecake a week ago i was getting fitted   for my first brooks brothers suit now look where i  come on this place ain't so bad hey were you ever   enjoying cicero and i'm not talking about the new  jail you know what i'm talking about the old one   moon please my girl's getting married in  the morning i'm never gonna see her again   you know your problem kid you got no philosophy  you know life's taught me to think more positive   like dillinger once told me it's always  the darkest before they turn on the lights you know there's an old australian bush song   that melba used to sing a song that  always cheered me when i was blue even melba said this bush  song was a hell of a song to   sing so be quiet whilst i render it for you when your instinct tells you that disaster   is approaching you faster and faster  then be like the blue bird and sing tweet when you know you're headed for the jail  don't allow your old face to look paler   but be like the blue bird and sing  tweet tweet tra la la la la la the blue bird who never is blue for he  knows from his upbringing watching a candle a be like the blue bird who never is blue for he  knows from his upbringing what singing can do and though by other birdies in the bows he may  be told that his efforts are perfectly lousy he sings on and on till his troubles are through tweet tweet tweet la boy what a dump irma i gotta talk fast i got a  couple of sailors waiting for me they're gonna   show me how to grease the horses what's going  on up there have you seen hope yeah and let me   tell you kiddo you're well rid of that drip all  she does is white and cry and sat around looking   like garbo in camille well did she say anything  about me no but should they send you this note   hey mooney hi amy how about give me your passports  you ain't gonna need him where you're going and i   can sell them for a bundle yeah it's a good idea  come here i want a little conversation with you   come here by the way moon the new list of public  enemies just came out even past by tooth decay dearest darling i love you so but what good  does love do when there is no hope love hope through the night i delight in your love  all through the night you're so close to me   all through the night from a high far  above you and your love bring me ecstasy when dawn comes to waken me  you're never there at all i know you've forsaken me till the shadows fall  but then once again i can dream i've the right to be close to you all through  the night all through the night i   in your love all through the  night you're so close to me all through the night forever when dawn's overtaken us we'll sadly say goodbye till dreams we us and the moon  is staying close to you all staying close to you all through the night moonlight by lord evelyn oakley a lonely figure walks the deck the moonlight  glancing off his beano it is not the ship   it is he the wreck his heart dashed on a  girl named miss sweeney i say you startled me   sorry i couldn't sleep nor are i the lord works in  mysterious ways evie but this time he's got even   me stymied my two best friends are in the slam  and tomorrow morning well you know all about that   here's to the happy groom oh  make that here's to the groom miss sweeney you see before you a man staggered  by a revelation it hit me like a stone hammer   in the middle of your service the woman i am  destined to marry tomorrow is not one and the same   with the woman i love you mean you're not  in love with hope that's great i mean gee   it's a good thing you found out i mean just  in time and everything ah there's the rub you know the oakley family motto nostrum fooglium centorum what's  that mean no one really knows but we're not supposed to go  around backing out of engagements i will i do miss sweeney you know there's just one thing i can't  figure that um that whoopi in the willows   business with plum blossom how does that  fit in with nostrum thugliam whatever   oh goodness this is most embarrassing  must i explain it's your motto miss sweeney i've never told this to  anyone before it's the oakley family secret   there's something wild and passionate  in our souls in mine especially   long long ago so long ago i hardly know  when my great great grandmother now and   then stepped out with a gypsy of course  you may say she was a little bit tipsy but tipsy no no of their love there wasn't a doubt   so i can't wait to get the stage all  set so i can let the gypsy in me out   hiding away there's a little bit of  gypsy in me that's never been found   waiting it's day there's a little bit of gypsy  in here hanging around till that magical night when the stars by the light bring  mystery to the sleeping lagoon while the haunting guitar not too near not too far jaylee strums  away comes away a titillating chew   when i'm there in that dream with the  one in the world i worship passionately at the moment supreme will be shown the unknown uh hmm so my ah huh is all right you get in there and behave yourself  hey what's going on here they'll only be in for   an hour they cleaned out third class playing  craps some folks are pretty hot about it what   about us when are we getting out i knew this would  happen i hope you're satisfied yeah hey you know   your problem kid you got no philosophy there's  an old australian would you forget about that   what time is it half past half-ass  what i don't know that's a little hand   the wedding starts at 9 30. we got  to get out of here hey you bums   reno boys i got fabulous news the greatest thing  that can happen to a person just happened to me   you got paroled no she's in love and what's  more evelyn is in love with me what that's great   in fact it's perfect yeah that's right because  reno gets to marry evelyn and billy gets to   marry hope but when he leaves one little problem  here what's that how do i put this let me out oh   reno we got to think of something yeah if only  we were them them yeah they get out in an hour hey guys that couple of fancy outfits you  wearing there hey thanks old buddy i have to say   i like the look of your duds too yeah you  wouldn't fancy a little swap clothes make demand now what guys irma you're beautiful and talented make an honest  man of miramar marry me no marry me hey buddy fellas getting married for  the birds who needs it we do when i go to a show   during christmas holidays i developed and i'm not at all as he pretty things   other girls luxuries are my necessities i must warn you that i'm simply  never on time somebody way somehow i don't feel nice  when i wear a dress twice i see london i see france i've seen  you all without your underpants um bed at night while the twinkling stars my sweet oh if to come home you fail i'll open all know dearly beloved we are gathered  here together over the bodies oh we are assembled here to join together in  the bonds of holy matrimony this young man   cease and desist he's a deceased foreign good  lord what is this my colleague and i are banisters   from the firm of treacle treacle and custard  with offices in new york london and singapore   we demand a heading on behalf of our  distinguished clients distinguished clients   permit me to explain my clients have just  completed an extensive pedigrenation in order   to confirm most urgently with this english  gentleman it appears we have arrived in   as it were the nick of time i'm afraid if  you've come in reference to my hong kong   interests you've chosen a bad moment i'm about to  be married the marriage is impossible impossible   what on earth do you mean allow me to introduce  the mortified father of little plum blossom and who is little plum blossom yes oh his little  plum blossom uh this is little plum blossom i'm not sure i follow this lord evelyn took   plum blossom to a willow grove  returned with a plum tart dear me is this really true i'm  afraid so evelyn is this woman really   plum tart blossom i i can't really say  it all happened so long ago oh good lord i i i apologize to one and all but under the  circumstances i don't see how i can possibly   marry miss harcourt don't be ridiculous all these  people want is money i'll give you a thousand   dollars to clear out yeah we'll take it no do not  insult our clients with an offer of filthy money   i'll make it two thousand dollars uh you cannot  buy their honor i'll make it five thousand dollars   yep yep honor sold no mr whitney don't pay him  no amount of money can undo this great wrong you   sir you are related to little plum blossom like an  o'neill drama to whistler's mama then the only way   to repay this debt of honor evelyn is for you to  offer him me oh no oh i say what a marvelous idea   well offer accepted congratulations old boy  you're getting quite a girl yeah what about   the five grand say why does the english  gentleman not join the club and right   the wrong done to poor plum blossom huh  right the wrong down to paul plumb oh i   well confound it why not  now look here plum blossom will you marry me oh sweetie i thought you'd never  ask mother what's the matter what's the matter   we're poor again i should have to spend  the rest of my life living in hotels like hell you will marry me evangeline  say yes and spend the rest of your life   in the lap of luxury why after that  amalgamated deal i'm so damn rich   i could buy this tub and turn it  into a private yacht for you eli   my savior my night in shining armor uh mr whitney  yeah oh thank you crocker yes sir crocker how the   hell did you get on board i have a confession  to make i never made it to the stock exchange i   stowed away aboard this ship i never sold those  amalgamated chairs you never sold the shares i'm sorry boss oh well at least i have  someone to comfort me in my misfortune mr whitney mr whitney urgent  cable from new york sir   amalgamated just went through  the roof you're a zillionaire how do you do it boss how brains guts and  the world's finest education bulldog bulldog eli yale uh speaking of dogs  does this belong to anyone   where have you been we found him in the swimming  pool and what was he doing in the swimming pool all right captain let's get on with it  you got some weddings to perform here   yeah come on cap i've been waiting all my life to  be a lady yeah step in it we settle down as man   and wife to solve the riddle called married life  it's delightful it's delicious it's delightful   it feels so fine to be a bride and how's the  groom but he's slightly fried it's delightful   it's delicious it's the lovely to the  pop of champagne off we hop in our plush   little plane till the bright light through the  darkness cozily called niagara falls falls my   love our day's complete and what a beautiful  bridal sweet it's delightful it's delicious all as right as can be till one  night at your window you see an   absurd bird with a bundle hung  from his nose get baby clothes so oh so so so thank you so you

2022-01-10 08:24

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