Tremors 3: Back to Perfection (2001) KILL COUNT
gonna film a tremors kill count what the fuck oh hey man sorry forgot to tell you the set's under construction we're getting it revamped where am i supposed to film that is not my problem see ya welcome to the kill count where we tally up the victims in all our favorite horror movies i'm 2017 james agenese and i'm taking things back to where it all started just like our movie tremors 3 back to perfection released in 2001 after tremors 2 found success on home video another film was greenlit with the original creators returning unfortunately with a significant alteration brent matic and steve wilson wrote a story outline with producer nancy roberts but had to pass off scriptwriting duties to tv writer john welpley hopefully in my opinion struggled to find the proper balance of horror and comedy that's so important to this franchise though his work here is better than what he'd do in parts 5 and 6. lisa gland wasn't in the prostate oh god tremors 3 also faced an insanely short 22-day shooting schedule and to put things in perspective a normal movie shoots about five to eight script pages a day trember's three shot 15 to 20. i'm amazed that people stayed friends i think it's a tribute to the fact that there were a lot of great people involved and most of us really liked each other this led to some stiff performances under the direction of previous writer brent matic who replaced steve wilson from part two as for the budget it was actually increased by two million dollars but somehow this film feels cheaper than the rest especially the sound mix which had a lot of adr due to nearby highway noise but maybe that extra money went to all the cgi they used which is a whole other can of pre-cambrian worms trimmers 3 back to perfection does what its title says it takes us back to the original town 11 years since the last graboid sighting now the worms have returned along with a whole bunch of trevor's one characters miguel nancy and mindy are joined by newcomers desert jack and walter chang's niece jody oh and that twerp melvin also returns but writing this script i realize he's so insignificant i could leave him out of the kill count entirely sorry melvin you asked hope but something i'm not sorry about is getting a real sponsor for today's episode with raycon i just got my pair of raycon's everyday earbuds and much like my jamesy doppelganger i am loving them i've been using them to listen to music while putting up this here set and while getting into peak kill count host condition and i can even make calls anytime with a built-in bluetooth mic plus their optimized gel tips keep them secure in your ear holes through any tremors you might experience not to mention with 32 hours of battery and eight hours of play time you'll never get bored when you're stranded on any residual boulders all that and they're half the price of other premium audio brands but they sound just as good it's no wonder they have over 48 000 5 star reviews so shop now at the link in the description or go to buy recon dot com slash deadmeat where you can unlock exclusive deals for 15 off your raikon order will this third stage in evolution be enough to make our returning cast a perfectionist extinct let's find out and you know what i'm sorry i i don't know how the hell james wore this i'm gonna change oh sweet flannel how i missed you so all right let's get to the kills the movie begins with a screen three fonted title card that they leave on just long enough to trick people into thinking this is the first film it is not it's dawn in el chaco argentina where a news crew meets up with a man who ain't afraid of no ghosts or graboids for that matter bert gummer once again and only able to be played by michael gross he explains that a graboid in the area evolved into six shriekers instead of the three seen in part two a mistake the creators actually admit to in the stampede entertainment website's comprehensive faq which they still update to this day and i highly recommend you check it out after gorging themselves the shriekers become a very large horde that i'm not looking forward to counting patience me amigo you're right let's see how many you actually kill with jesus a twin mounted browning m2 hb anti-aircraft gun way to step up your game bert this was an actual world war ii turret mount that was brought in and fully controlled by actor michael gross in the scene but first they had producer steve wilson test it out for him your dust rose up around me it was like you know sitting in the center of hell somewhere and that hell is unleashed on some reused and flop shots of cgi shriekers as well as one good practical dummy kill as the dust settles we see a swath of slaughtered shriekers any questions yes how many did you kill you know what don't answer that we have editor josh for situations just like this josh damn it alright in this wide shot i counted 69 streakers oh grow up josh you know what i'm just gonna add the two cage shriekers that i forgot to count in tremors two and we're gonna put 71 on the law but that's a different movie you can't just count what ah this is my show for now josh and with my new set here there's no jamesy boy around to stop me oh shit he's calling we return to perfection nevada now completely rebuilt in valencia california instead of lone pine miguel drives back into the franchise once again played by tony gennaro and though walter chang is long deceased his market has outlived him it is now owned by his niece jody played by suzanne chuang she's embraced perfection's graboid fame with tremors the merchandising you got tremors the frisbee trim is the oven mitt tremors the flame thrower whoops sorry that's not till part seven oh but she does have some amazing comic books spoofing the dark horse alien vs predator series only with uh more spelling errors merch shows jody the fancy new watch he got from his job in argentina it sets its time using ultrasonic frequencies well above our normal range of hearing but it'll give a dog fence turn it off turn it off turn it off since early and grady actually opened up their monster world theme park they talked about in the second film we're stuck with a new hunky sidekick one that has both names of kate's love interests from lost jack soy he's played by sean christian who was on as the world turns and as my fiance informed me played josh on charms jack uses those charms to con tourists on desert jack's graboid adventures including one played by producer steve wilson's son matt seth wilson whoa simmer down there ya ska punk and enjoy the show that includes a fake seismo monitor and fire extinguisher dust clouds courtesy of jack's partner in crime beaufort in a fun homage to the original buford pulls on some ropes that knock over signposts that somehow look crappier than the ones valeneurl built maybe they need some more nails jack gets everyone out of quote-unquote danger with a flick of a switch and a slogan that rhymes all right he's gonna make it back after the tour jody scolds him for not having a better catchphrase or business plan wanna try not to plan too much oh boy you are not gonna do well in this franchise the next day we see some more familiar faces nancy sterngood again played by charlotte stewart and her daughter mindy played by the brick that drown ben folds ariana richards she's there with the pants she's fixed up for jack i mean at that point i just throw them away that's right new sets new rules [Laughter] something's wrong damn it zorin mindy welcomes bert back to perfection she too is a recent returnee having broken up with her boyfriend angus dropped out of college and now works at the arby's in bixby bixby's back baby mindy poe goes away and jack heads over amazed that their gasoline is finally led free he tries to get bert to be part of the tour but bird ain't interested since jack lacks any real family ties to this town during this exchange there's a cute moment with one of the tourists mom take a picture of me with the tremor they're called graboids ha i told you mom this tourist mom is played by mary gross a former snl cast member and real life sister to michael gross whom she thanks for letting her be in his movie thank you so much mr goober well played sis well played burt gives jack one final rejection as buford the lap dog manon shows up in his dirt buggy to be a dirt bag towards mindy deck scolds him with his best foghorn leghorn burn pour your body sharp as a bowling ball before taking another group of rubes out including a man dressed as rhonda lebeck from the first film looks like geologist cosplay goes both ways their amateur hour show is given a boost of credibility when a real graboid attacks buford from all sorts of wrong angles a refurbished practical graboid emerges with buford's legs dangling from its gaping thresher maw he's then sucked into the graboid's gullet never to perv on mindy again mandalabek makes sure to take some photos because if there ain't a picture then it didn't really happen not fully filled by his amuse buford the graboid unleashes its buried puppeteer on jack he and mindy are chased onto a rock where they throw some bottles and a fucking wisp of paper to distract the graboid allowing them to make an escape back in bert's goddamn rec room he monitors a seismograph and lets everyone know he's got one the graboid alarm blares interrupting jody's complaints about her new gravoid statues the shipment of gravoy has four tentacles instead of three they look ridiculous yeah ridiculous everyone gathers at graboid hq where we learn that there are three graboids in the area according to bert's high-tech geophone monitoring system it's all based on rhonda lebeck's geological research oh you might want to pick up that name you just dropped after that it's time for a planning scene what new and interesting ways are we gonna fight these pesky pre-cambrian prowlers oh by graboid fishing with rc cars it seems a little familiar but uh hey the matrix taught me one thing deja vu means that there's an agent around asian frank's dad right on cue he's here with agent rusk and a paleontologist named dr merliss to enforce a ban on gravoid hunting due to their endangered status they want to try and capture one alive for study but bird argues they'll evolve into shriekers before that can happen statler says not to worry the government will happily relocate everyone out of perfection and compensate them fairly eminent domain and people call me paranoid a nice call back to bert's fears from the first film eminent domain that night burt's seismo monitor goes off so he grabs his grizzly big bore single shot 50 caliber browning machine gun rifle and heads outside to check the perimeter which is now surrounded by a solid concrete graboid barrier of his own design it's a much better design than the one used for our first ever fully cgi graboid yikes but i do not blame the vfx team for this reptile dysfunction the cgi was handled by linda drake kevin kuchaver and their team at himani productions the budget only allowed for 40 effect shots but they ended up needing 80 shots to finish the film so kevin and linda and their team had to complete them on their own time plus they had to transfer all the digital effects back onto 35 millimeter film a costly process that led to even more issues this being their first film they really went above and beyond but working basically for half the pay not everything could be perfection at chang's the men in black return from an unsuccessful graboid hunt did you check the subway i know that's where jeff lives man that agent rusk looks so familiar oh shit it's the same guy that played carmine the construction worker from part one you know what have a beer to commemorate your long dead mario brother jack convinces the g-men to enlist bert's help in catching a graboid in exchange they agreed to let bert keep his home so guess it's back to gravoid fishing again ah can we get something new in this franchise please oh what do you got there dr murlis a graboid egg oh pretty cool even if yours is uh broken mine's still unhatched shit bert's license plate returns as does the grady chain from part two which they'll use to lure a graboid out into the open they're trying to get it to swallow a big bag of tranquility but before they can do that this stock footage of a gravoy from the first film literally barrels into burke and in a shocking twist ingests our franchise hero of course if you've seen any of the posters for the next four movies you'll know that this is just a clever fake out bert tells jack he's running out of air and needs him to corral the graboid towards his graboid wall so desert jacks off i meant he left he he left on a high speed chase that sends him through a fence and our first graboid to the hunting law with the graboy dead and bert running out of time jack gets a groovy plan and starts digging like a moron before going all ash williams on the beast in a fun and schloppy sequence which actor shawn was a little freaked out about don't let me hit the sky with this chainsaw because my life will be over jody shows up for no good reason and bert is rebirthed into the franchise in a fun yet uncomfortable scene for michael gross it was cold it was a little like being in a grave it was a little scary but that didn't stop this professional from completely nailing the scene i prefer we keep this to ourselves truly living up to the name michael gross miguel joins up with bert jody and jack as they try to reach the government boys last seen chasing agraboid they were chasing it it wasn't chasing them i don't like that and i don't like that dr murlis just got here looking like he came from a foam party and ibiza turns out he sprayed himself with a fire extinguisher to stay cold when confronted with a bunch of shriekers adding another grab boy to the hunting log since it died during shrieker birth merlis then channels slow ass motherfucking pedro as he takes forever to explain where the other agents are toward the pieces and with that we can add them to the count eaten off-screen by a couple of screamy screamies at least we've got dr merliss around who can die in the sun like a wad of melted ice cream hey bert do you think the deadmeat fans will like this lame trifecta of deaths yep me neither bert uses infrared tracking to find that the shriekers are already multiplying they head off to a box canyon while mindy and nancy just head off to a box at the canyon they get ready to start planion when they're visited again by the cgioid that's just spanish for white okay whatever leblanc was based on an idea for an unproduced tremors tv show wilson and matic developed in 1993 which saw val and earl as monster hunters fighting tree octopi killer shrimp ghost sasquatches hillbilly vampires and a great white worm later during the actual series el blanco got the full practical treatment thanks to k b fx oblanco does his little wormy dance then goes back to being a buoy in the sand with their walkies on the car there's only one thing for them to do now yes we just wait for what exactly is it a mostly 80 yard conversation about clouds cause here it is most people prefer your dramatic cumulonimbus clouds i've always had a weakness for a cirrus yeah not worth the wait hello blanco tries to liven things up by cross dissolving and hot boxing bert but even high this scene is boring af professor miguel says this graboid reminds him of an albino goat he once had the goat couldn't have kids so that must be why el blanco hasn't turned into low shriekers just to be clear though being albino does not make you sterile it makes you emit emps and hang out with jeff goldblum yeah but you forgot powder was a thing or never knew it was a thing day turns to night and night turns to dawn as they keep waiting for god knows what for a movie that likes to retread the original they seem to have forgotten that graboids will wait you out until you die of dehydration first yeah i know death too jack and jody share a valen ronda snuggle moment that even jody thinks is unearned burt needs to get to his radio so he uses a fishing pole miguel made which for some reason he didn't do at any point the day before bert the bassmaster snags the radio and calls back to mindy and nancy who've been sleeping in a box all night like the max he asks them to create some noise over the radio so mindy plays some cost-effective royalty-free rock music fed up with the lack of recognizable needle drop music bert chucks the walkie and el blanco chases it burton miguel grabs some guns and send his ford exploring on its own el blanco chases the truck as bert hands out guns to his moderately competent companions you do know which end the bullets come out of yes the end you're pointing directly at your crotch jack careful now wouldn't want to end up like an albino goat they initiate their shriek and destroy mission with a pipe bomb which according to stampede's website was originally supposed to be burt's cannon he talked about in tremors one confused cannon fuse they all use it for i cannon but you know budget in the explosion's aftermath it appears the shrieker suffered a total protonic reversal because there ain't nothing left except for these husks similar to a snake when they shed their skin i don't like that well too bad bertie buddy because just like in comedy graboids always come in threes jody spots something behind the fence giving us our first look at the next evolution in gravoy technology the ass blaster a name i'm surprised they got away with since this is the only pg tremors movie and how did they get that name well that would be jody taking after her uncle walter oh oh ass blasters how's that sounds like a porno film i'm going around zavojic owner of planet zulkin arcades and if you kids love the graboid arcade game then i got a new game i can't wait to play with you it's called ass blasters planets oregon arcades clothes for extended parole or renovations the ass blasters were designed by the thrice return tom woodruff jr and alec gillis who drew inspiration from real-life bombardier beetles who creates a mixture of uh organic chemicals within its own body that when they are combined they become explosive and it's used to propel the beetle from one point to another they were brought to life with a combination of cgi and practical puppets and i will say i think for its time the abcgi turned out much better than the gb cgi thanks partially to onset references from amalgamated dynamics the textures for the creatures were all taken off of real photographic stills that we shot on the set and also we went to their shop and photographed as well so now that these suckers can fly they separate miguel from the rest of the group who fire at a bunch of pixels till they land a hit the blaster launched padma quacks its way to the ground but not before unceremoniously knocking miguel off the cliff to his death what a shitty end to professor miguel i'll miss you you albino misunderstanding bastard distraught over the cattle rancher's death the ass blaster ends its own life by impaling itself on a fence back in town mindy and nancy are evicted from their box and chased into the store the practical effects team burst through the door and makes a cameo appearance but since the puppet fails to get in this ends up being a job for cgi the ass blaster terrorizes mindy and nancy at the deli counter without taking a number mindy then tosses a ham into the fastest microwave on the planet because after three seconds she's warmed up a hammy distraction for the blaster's heat sensors the monster turkey gobbles up the worst pizza toppings as mindy and nancy hide in a very warm looking freezer hey mom remember when i trapped a raptor in a freezer remember burt and the gang discovered that the dead ass blaster was carrying a graboid egg inside its belly so it's a grab board to shrieker one of these here new things and on the back to a grab boy thus completing the graboid life cycle and this franchise oh shit that's right there's four more i i don't know what's left swimming doing someone's taxes if bert's there i'd still watch it the ass blaster starts leaking maylox and barbecue sauce with explosive results this is the reactive stomach acid used to ignite their farts and blast off so they can spread their eggs over long distances our science lesson concludes when another ass blaster is heard in the distance so it's time to make a plan to hide some body heat they find a mattress of convenience and make their way across the desert avoiding detection all the way back to bert's say it with me now goddamn rec room bert tries to radio nancy and mindy next to some white bricks calling back to the graboid attack from the first film a music cue then tells us it's time for another beat of forced romance [Music] what are you doing movie jody's not a geologist romance only happens with geologists before this non-geologist can express her true feelings for jack she is cock-flocked by an ass blaster say that five times fast not in front of your parents the pre-cambrian party crasher shows off his new hat while everyone heads into a nearby safe room for another mre commercial what is all this food better mres most dense most nutritious food known to man the ass blaster uses his butane butt as a torch to get inside so burt and the gang use a super cool scooby scooby-doo escape hatch to get away but wait what happens if the ass blaster eats all those delicious and nutritious mres ass blaster blitzkrieg best line in the movie if the ass blasters are like shriekers when they eat enough they'll multiply like jackass rabbits bert prevents this with a well-placed gas can as he makes his escape the plan works and bert's place goes up in a massive amount of flames adding another ass blaster to the hunting law while the explosion continues nancy radios and says that unlike trickers food is a weakness of ass blasters turns out if they eat too much they go into a food coma that means everything would have been okay if they'd eaten all those mres bert just blew up what kind of supreme being would condone such irony i'm gonna go with alanis morissette from dogma don't you think the explosion attracts more ass blasters and the human peoples head to a nearby junkyard in bert sentient nightboat hope there's a canal nearby somehow they make it across the relatively flat plains and crash the boat near a billboard for that melvin subplot i'm ignoring they're spotted by a roosting blaster and take shelter in the junkyard jack acts like a brave little toaster boy spotting the a b and pushing a refrigerator onto it but he's not dead he's just pining for the fields and he'll be back later with the great burnt fire of 2001 having dispersed the ass blasters turned their attention to our heroes forcing them to flee to a nearby porta potty for safety what a weird angle for a toilet seat anyway inside bert assesses their shitty situation they've got no guns and their combined body heat will make this outhouse glow like a furnace soon so what's the plan jody we just run like hell no jody running is what you do when a plan fails remember your lessons from earl bassett community school you know from the movie slither that's right james gunn is a tremors fan too oh yeah together they decide to ignite the flammable chemicals in the blaster's belly by making some potato guns to launch flaming arrows at the creatures and thus they disperse to shop for ingredients while shopping jody is attacked and flees to a nearby trailer filled with gasoline for some reason why the hell are people throwing out gasoline i live in la do you know how expensive that is she traps the blaster inside and when it tries to launch its way out the gas ignites and blasts it onto our hunting log with a delightfully ridiculous cartoony effect jack finds some rags and arrows while bert visits nestor's trailer from the first film oh nice they unflip the bitch anyway he finds some fuel thanks to nestor's secret alcohol problem they then wait around for no god damn reason until it's night again when they build the guns in a fun macgyver-like sequence ooh laser pointer sights adhered with jody's earrings see this is what i love about the tremors films the kind of ingenuity that adheres to bert's motto doing what i can with what i got only problem is who's got a lighter bert does how do you know well you're bert damn right i am okay well i'll give you that one that is good writing because it's within character and is a solid joke take note convenient plot boats and mattresses of earlier looks like it's time to test their invention on an incoming a b they light that sucker up resulting in a triumphant explosion of way too many dry guts from odd angles damn it is that pa from part two back well in any case this hunting log edition gives us another great burt line and that's why we're at the top of the food chain the next ass blaster attacks the trailer comically knocking down bert like a blood bucket at prom jody takes charge and shoots the blaster from a second skylight the ass blaster explodes in stuttery slow motion and takes out the side of the mobile home with it alright time to wrap things up so just fire your arrow at that last one and miss balls sons of bitches are always on a learning curve yup hooked on animatronics worked for them as jack is attacked by the practical effects team burt and jody makes sure desert jack makes it back by sticking a flaming spear right into the creature's tush ouchy they take cover as the final ass blaster is added to our log oh well guess that's uh it for the movie right 23 hours 59 minutes mission completed whoops forgot about el blanco how the hell does that thing keep following bert stop it please bird is knocked out of the trailer and lamely snagged on a mattress spring but thanks to some quick feet and quick thinking from desert jack the watch is turned into a dinner bell which he reverse film sticks to the ass blaster that was crushed by the refrigerator earlier the plan works and el blanco gets a very spicy tossed salad for dinner proving once and for all that graboids rule the earth and they're also fucking cannibals the next day there's an ass blaster on display at chang's market it's the one mindy and nancy put into a food coma and it's fetching boku box as they sell it to a couple of guys in vegas siegfried roy he's all yours time to wrap up our subpar romance plot with jody going along with jack who got a new job managing a car wash in bixby oh he's in the bathroom meanwhile bert finishes out the movie with that melvin subplot i've been ignoring hello wedgie's been trying to buy up all the land and perfection but bert tells him it's a no-go because el blanco is still alive and because it's the last of its species perfection has been deemed protected territory so the movie ends with vert driving off to film 13 episodes of the sci-fi tremor series in mexico anything to add melvin god damn you bert and i hate that hat was the third course in this big long smorgasbord of a franchise as filling as the first two let's find out and get to the numbers oh looks like el blanco's here still looks better than the cgi let's get to the numbers fix me i'm late aren't i five people died in tremors three all men giving us a chart bluer than the language used to describe this new graboid evolution with a runtime of 104 minutes that gave us a kill on average every 20.8 minutes burt's hunting log adds two graboids seven ass blasters and 71 shriekers and i'm not counting any of the streakers that evolved into ass blasters as they just shed their skin besides 71 should be enough you greedy bastards and it gives us a perishing pre-cambrian every 1.3 minutes i'll give the golden chainsaw for coolest kill to buford mostly because it's our only practical gravoid kill dull machete for lame's kill will go to agent statler and rusk who died off screen earless's death was lame too but at least he looks like he went a few rounds with a stay puft marshmallow man bert's hunting trophy goes to the ass blaster blown up in the trailer thing died like daffy duck in a looney tunes cartoon seriously it's ridiculous they went there i love it and that's it tremors 3 back to perfection came out in 2001 and while it has some good moments it's a big step down from the first two the movie leads directly into the 13 episode show on sci-fi that i will only cover if it seems like there's an appetite for them in the meantime we'll be switching things up with a prequel set in the old west but until then i'm a man who owns a pomeranian named the doctor this has been the kill count on the next kill count the legend begins in the fantastically phenomenal fourth franchise film of tremors return to a simpler time when movie executives said yes to random ideas let's just put it in the old west and to my total shock everybody said oh that's a great idea and filmmakers ditched the overused cgi of yesterfields dandy a true return to four with a return of a franchise mainstay it's mr cover but this ain't your great grandfather's burt gummer it's actually a bert gummer's great grandfather i feel i've not been privy to critical most needful information and together with a quaint cast of kooky characters this is our army these are the only ones willing to go witness the origins of the graboid species shells eggs then they came out of one big chicken thrill that one man struggled to keep his hat no one goes without a hat in china and see long-standing franchise expectations shot down like a hanging sausage you missed with a cannon this week watch michael gross billy drago michael gross a couple of graboids michael gross and michael gross in tremors 4. the legend
begins then on friday february 25th mosey on down for the kill counts only on dead meat this is it then the end of rejection tremors four the legend begins can currently be watched on the pictured streaming platforms yeah me always recommends you watch the movie for yourself before it's kill count it's the only way to have your own properly informed opinion kill counts are never meant to replace the experience of watching a film thank you for watching and leaving all sorts of amazing comments i mean the support has been amazing i said that last time i'm going to say it again this time you're all wonderful just want to give a quick shout out to my friend gina devivo who made the graboid egg and the grabloid statue here she was also the maniac pixie dream girl in my social mediaskis2 music video check that out if you haven't already you probably all have so why am i promoting that when i should be checking in on james on the james cam so let's roll or is it over here ah there he is taking a much needed dip in the pool oh it looks like his friend bruce is there as well okay you two play nice good to see james getting the rest he deserves so i'll see you in two weeks until then be good people
2022-02-14 05:25
