Jim Kiwik: How to Break Bad Habits That Hold You Back (One of the Best Speeches Ever)

I. Just. Did a podcast on habits, right how to be able to, adopt. New habits and also delete, and get rid of you, know break bad habits right, and so, a lot of people always want to make it usually make a change on behavior they want to get themselves to workout they want to get them doesn't meditate they want to get themselves to read more each day and they want to give themselves to X right or, they want to stop some behavior they want to stop smoking they want to stop eating this food they want to stop I always tell people stop. Checking your phone the first hour of the day I love, and I and I just that's like sacred time for me you know because I for. Me that's for I think that if you want to be an elite mental performer, or you know real-life superhero you don't want to start off by checking, the phone we talked about this in the past because you're training yourself to be reactive, right you're getting your dopamine or you're frying your nervous system with, all these lights shares comments and everything else like that, that. You've said if I'm not mistaken you sell your sovereignty, if. You start, by checking your phone I love that so much because you're reacting and firefighting to everyone's like well, I've been seeing everyone one wants so you're not really setting you're not living you, know that it's you've, heard this many times right if you want to you in, the first hour of the day to win the rest of the money with room in the day right and so anything. You want to stop so I say you might stop checking your phone right in the morning then there's certain like that's a behavior right, but there's so many other elements to be able to change because, some most behaviors don't stick right. And so like what I'm thinking about when, I want to transform, or transcend, or make a real positive change I'm looking all the other areas of ourselves so I'm looking at for example our environment, are you are people setting up their environment, to win and no. Social change, doesn't just happen at this level of behavior but, what you have to change the environment so, for example if you want to stop eating a certain food it helps to be able to have not that not have that food in your home right so you change the environment if you want to read more it helps to help set up your environment where, you have the books readily available where, your gonna read it cuz they perform you, know how I how, I approach, habit changes this area of motivation, and this trigger ray you want to trigger to help remind, you to do the behavior right, so are you setting up the environment in a way that triggers the behavior, that you want that's why you know people like, Mark Zuckerberg or, Tony Hsieh we're the same t-shirts, and and sweatshirts. All the time because they don't want to spend you know use up one of their decisions. Thinking aw what am I gonna wear today everyone, someone's watching this they have a thing that something they want to change and. It's not it's not sticking then maybe it's not it's the environment maybe you check about your habits but maybe it's your beliefs in your values some, people will not get themselves to read every day because they don't value reading every. Single day right, some people won't say, the behavior they want change is you know we did a podcast on how to remember names I could, teach them step by step on how to remember the name but most people that they meet yet. They won't do it because they don't value it or because. That's not important to them or they, don't believe that they can write. Just like we talked about earlier saying your brain is like a supercomputer and you, know your self-talk as a programmer runs to tell yourself not go to memory names you will not really person, to me because you program your super duper you're not - they don't have a belief that enables, that when I say all behaviors, believe driven if you want to do this behavior whatever it is journal whatever it is and you need a belief that allows that to happen because, you, mean that's the program that allows so how do you get that belief because you're gonna feel like you're faking it right that's where most people stop right they they think okay I get it I hear what you were saying that if, I am able to shift my belief then I can get a different behavior but.

I Don't believe it, so now I'm just sort of faking it how. Do you help people overcome it right and so you mean, so some people approach it like they know this quote where they fake it till they make it right um so my thing, with belief is. Like. When I do, trainings and, groups are online. My, favorite. Way of changing the belief is, getting them to do something they never thought they could do because it opens up another possibility, right so. So. For example, in 1954. Roger Bannister he, broke the four-minute mile right, and so, which. Is amazing right throughout human history nobody, can run a mile less than four minutes now if you if you look into it how he was able to do it is he, would visualize, himself, crossing the finish line looking, at the clock and it says 359, because. He knew that success, is an inside out process, that first it had to happen in here in, order prepped and out there right um, dr. Wayne Dyer has, the, famous phrase where it's not oh I'll, believe it when I see, it's, like I'll see it when I believe it because, it's the opposite right and so I always. Like modeling the outliers where most people kind of just like kind, of dismiss, them I was like well what's what's going on there that loves this person to get this kind of result right and so, with Roger Bannister he, saw it in here be able to produce it outside just like any innovator, or inventor right, or any, creator right but, what's interesting is. After. That would happen nobody could do it from the beginning of humanity all of a sudden one person does it what happens after that everybody. Yeah everyone starts doing it and so that's the thing now what what happened was there big change that year and you, know training methodology. And nutrition, or know who was a change of belief right. Because the belief back, then was if you ran a mile less than four minutes not, only would you die it was your heart would explode in, your chest and like, think about like that would and I'm a runner right that would keep me not, just running that, won't keep me from running form it that would keep me from running period, right right and so, my, thing, is like that was a change of a reference I was just shook, up a belief so, my goal with people and when it comes to learning is get themselves to do something they never thought they could do and then it opens up another possibility, it literally opens up their, their nervous system for something what, else could be possible, now I would also say that it. All plays, together where it's not easy to say just to change a belief overnight. Now, that could be a belief it's. Like a meta belief about what beliefs are but people there's there's technologies, like Inception right like a dream of a dream your dream but. I do believe that we have more we. Have more power to influence our thoughts and our beliefs so my goal, is to streamline my. Put, the routines the first hour day and the last hour today I really, micromanage. It's at a point where it's vitual I don't even have to think about it and then because those are the times a day where I can really have, the most impact because. Later on it all day you know team members need this there's firefighting this client needs that but, the first hour the last hour I really, want to control so all this really, helped develop, grit, and resilience, you, know in my body so I could have the ability to persevere, you know so I have stand guard to, my brain all the time what goes in and, I don't watch like, a lot of the negative news and all the market I really focus like, you know I watch, and I listen to your show and maybe a handful, of little, of things I read each day because, I need to keep it positive. I want hope and I'm looking for help I'm looking for inspiration and also his instruction.

Motive. Matters right and what drives us I always tell people that there's a success formula I subscribe to it I call it h-cubed that he goes from your head to your heart to your hands especially in the personal development space, or what they teach about goal said you could affirm, things in your head or think things in your head or visualize things in your head but, if you're not acting with your hands there's there's something that's missing right there's an incongruence, there and I, but, I tell people is like you know check in with the second age which is your heart which, is the symbol of like emotion, the, energy of motion and, so I feel like that's the fuel that fuels the car that gets you to take, action for, something and I do believe what, got me through it is figuring. Out what my why was. I. Think. Some of the most successful people live. At the edge of their limits you know and they they play there also as well and so whenever I feel in my nervous, system I feel like I can't do it then I feel like I really must do it because I feel like how, we do anything, is how we do everything your, brain is like a super computer and your self-talk is a program that will run so you tell yourself you're not good at remembering names you will not remember the name the next person to me because you program your supercomputer not, to yourself. Talk is important, and it is the program that we would run and I always tell people to keep it positive keep it empowering because. Your. Mind is always eavesdropping, on your self-talk right. And you have to be careful what you say to yourself because, it's this unconscious command, I just did a podcast on habits, right how to be able to adopt. New habits and also delete you get rid of you, know break bad habits right, and so a lot of people always want to make it usually make a change on behavior they want to get themselves to workout they want to get them hose and meditate they want to get themselves to read more each day and they want to get themselves to X right or they want to stop some behavior they want to stop smoking, they want to stop eating this food they want to stop I always tell people stop. Checking your phone in the first hour of the day. That's. Like sacred time for me you know because I for. Me that's for I think that if you want to be an elite mental performer, or in a real-life superhero you don't want to start off by checking, the phone we talked about this in the past of it because you're training yourself to be reactive, right you're getting your dopamine or you're frying your nervous system with, all these likes shares comments and everything else like that that. You've said if I'm not mistaken you sell your sovereignty, weed if you start, by checking your phone I love that so much because you're reacting and firefighting to everyone's like, well, everything everyone wants so you're not really setting you're not living you, know that it's you've, heard this many times right if you want to you in, the first hour of the day to win the rest you know the million win right and so anything. You want to stop so I say you want to stop checking your phone right in the morning then there's certain like that's a behavior right, but there's so many other elements, to be able to change because, some most behaviors don't stick right, and so like what I'm thinking about when, I want to transform, or transcend, or make a real positive change, I'm looking all the other areas of ourself so, I'm looking at for example our environment.

Are. You are people setting up their environment, to win at no. Social change, doesn't just happen at this level of behavior but what you have to change the environment so for example if you want to stop eating a certain food it helps to be able to have not that not have that food in your home right, so you change the environment if you want to read more it helps to help set up your environment where, you have the books readily available where, you're gonna read it because they perform you, know how I how, I approach habit change is this area of motivation, and this trigger where you want to trigger to help remind. You to do the behavior right so are you setting up the environment in a way that triggers, the behavior that you want. Another. Level of change that we need to address let's say everyone someone's watching this they have thing, that something they want to change and. It's not it's not sticking and maybe it's not it's the environment maybe you could check about your habits but maybe it's your beliefs and your values some, people will not get themselves to read every day because they don't value reading, every, single day right some, people won't work they say the behavior they won't change is you, know we did a podcast of how to remember names I could, teach them step by step on how to remember the name of most people that they meet yet. They won't do it because they don't value it or because. That's not important to them or they, don't believe that they can write. Just like we talked about earlier saying your brain is like a supercomputer and you, know your self-talk as a programmer runs if you tell yourself and I'll go to memory names you will not remember the name the next person you meet because your program your super gonna be or not to they don't have a belief that enables, that so when I say all behaviors, belief driven if you want to do this behavior whatever, it is journal whatever it is then, you need a belief that allows that to happen. My. Favorite way of changing a belief is getting, them to do something they never thought they could do because it opens up another possibility, for example, in 1954. Roger Bannister he, broke the form in a mile right, and so, which. Is amazing right throughout human history nobody, can run a mile in less than four minutes a few if you look into it how he was able to do it is he, would visualize himself crossing the finish line looking at the clock and it says 359, because. He knew that success is an inside out process, that first it had to happen in here in, order for apt an out there right um dr., Wayne Dyer has, the, famous phrase where it's not oh I'll, believe it when I see it it's, like I'll see it when I believe it because, it's the opposite, right and so yeah I always, like modeling the outliers where most people kind of just like kind, of dismissed. Them I was like well what's what's going on there that loves this person to get this kind of results right and so, with Roger Bannister he, saw it in here and be able to produce it outside just like any innovator, or inventor, right or any, creator right but, was interesting, is after, that, would happen nobody could do it from the beginning of humanity all of a sudden one person does it what happens after that was a change of belief right, because the belief back, then was if you ran a mile list the four minutes not only would you die it, was your heart would explode in, your chest and like, think about like that would and I'm a runner right that would keep me not just running that, won't keep me from running form without keep me from running period, right right and so my, thing, is like that was a change of a reference I was just shook, up a belief so my goal with people and when it comes to learnings get themselves to do something they never thought they could do and then it opens up another possibility, it literally opens up their, their nervous system for something what, else could be possible, now I would also say that it, all plays, together where, it's not easy necessary, just a change.

Leaf Overnight. It's, not about resources. Right, because we know a lot of people who who, didn't, have any resources that were, able to impact the world. It's. About our internal, resources and what I'm saying is optimizing, our environment, optimizing. Our behaviors, or capabilities, of our beliefs and our values and our identity, right, that at the highest level our identity, because you can't just change your belief or your values, or your behavior even if you don't believe you're that kind of person. We're not waiting, for Superman, or Batman or, Wonder Woman, it's like you are Wonder Woman you are Batman you are Superman, it's, just we we. Have to commit ourselves to be able to tell me she. They, call it the two smallest, world words in the English language but. There there are two most powerful words in, English language it's I am. I am. Because whatever you put after that determines, your destination. Or your, your destiny, right and, I think your, identity, is who you believe you are and I feel like when we're talking about playing to the edge of our limits, and really playing there and living, in that place where we're stretching but. You don't have to fight it because you can't imagine yourself, not doing that. If. We don't believe that we our public speaker or were a great parent or we're a great learner or a genius then we'll never be able to reach, our full potential, because that will always be the ceiling that we bump up against. Think. That genius leaves clues and I believe that can be replicated if you're willing to put in the the work and the learning and the discipline, to be able to do that I teach, people how to read one book a week I really, think leaders or readers that in order to stay competitive in today's day and age if, somebody has decades of experience and, they put it into a book and you can sit down and read then in a few days, download, decades in the days I mean I'm. Preaching to choir for that's watching but, that that's that's a superpower right that's a huge advantage, I. Think. Geniuses, set themselves up so for example they, have their laptop but they only use a laptop for work and it's anchored, that's part of their environment it's anchored to get them in the flow States to be able to write or be productive, they don't use their laptop to watch binge.

On Netflix right they have a very they have an iPad that they use when they do that because that's the state, that they want to anchor for that and they don't use that iPad, to do work you know setting up your environment like your bedroom like we just did a whole episode on sleep acts and how to optimize your sleep because that's a big you, know personal challenge for me for, many years because I had suffered from sleep apnea it was a breathing disorder I stopped breathing 200 times a night for at least 10 seconds which is the equivalent of somebody coming in and just choking suffocating. You 200 times a night and so I would actually reason. Why I'm so adamant about productivity. And learning hacks is because for, the longest time for, literally five years straight and you know this I've. Slept about 90, minutes, to two hours a night total, and you know how you feel when you get like one bad night's sleep, and how like where your focus is your energy level and your how do I get these horrible migraines, and it's forced me to double down in my, practices, you, know in terms of like I have a limited amount of time I have to focus on the things that really matter resources. And stuff but anyway going back to like my bedroom is sacred space right. It's I don't do work in there I keep, it because that's my trigger to be able to rest on the parasympathetic, space. I set up my environments, off my blackout, curtains on my my crowning pad so it's optimize, my restful, sleep that I do get so, environment, so genius leaves clues they set up genius environments, for themselves and then the behaviors, most, people who know if they're intuitive you know these people are investing. Themselves there's, they're investing in self care I always, tell people that self, love and self care is not selfish, a lot of people you know they're there for their friends and there their clients everybody else but, they're not refilling, their their cup so I think that we have to be you, know grow givers I mean we have to we grow sway more to give to other people so we have more impact with other individuals, so the behaviors are reading each day and putting together your to-do lists and your I think having your not to-do list is so important, having being sleep-deprived, for so many years yeah, I think a lot of people I'm, super sensitized, to it but I think one, of the success rituals, people had should have is just going through and keeping a consistent not, to-do list and I think the most successful, genius-level, individuals, one of the clues that they leave is there not to-do list is bigger than their to-do list right, they don't check their phone in the morning they don't take and you know everything is hell yes or it's hell no all, right that's their filter system they don't you know they say no to good so yes, yes degree right, I'm talking about an incredible, you know artist I'm talking about an athlete I'm talking to have a kid you know in some area is. They haven't they're they're clear about their identity, about who they are and whoever they are to the world and so. But I know what they what they do commit is they do the work and they're committed to lifelong learning. Knowledge. Is power and learning is your superpower and I think it's a superpower that we all have it's just not word not taught.

My. Thing, when it comes to success, rituals, and high performance, and making an impact is that we all have that sovereignty, we all have that power and whenever, we put, it out there and give, it out to somebody else like we're a thermometer great the metaphor I always talk about it's like we're, either thermometers. Or were thermostats, and a thermometer you think about the functionality, of it it just reflects, what the environment is giving it right it just reflects the temperature, and stuff but, a thermostat, is different it sets a standard. It sets a goal it sets a vision, and the environment changes along with it I feel like our happiness our joy our level, fulfillment, our success is all. Dependent. On where, we put the locus of control. We. Have more power than, we realize, in these cases and it's hard because we have to fight media with the fight marketing, that's always telling us about all the things that are going on in the world but we live in an abundant, universe right, I mean we talk about the matrix you know which pillow people are going to take and that, determines, everything and every single morning you know you determine what color till you're gonna take and I, would say what keeps me going is, I. Have. A belief that everything, to get better like, that's my self-talk, when when it comes down to what. My primary, belief, is is I feel that that things can get better because otherwise I didn't then I would just give up right and I have too many examples of friends. And family, and just people, I don't know which are just friends of my mind that have superseded, much more difficult situations, than I have. The. Other thing it's helped me to do is really focus on the, rituals, and the routines the habits the abilities, that really, matter you know the 80/20, rule because. When, I have a certain amount of energy I can only do a certain amount of things and I want I need to get more back, and I'm still doing the job growing quota most you know three or four people you know going on stage and traveling too but you know like the kind of things that we do but, it forces me to focus on the things that's gonna get me maximum, return, and we, know and I think we do teach the things that we need to learn the most I think the best teachers are the best students. I'm. Not very perfection. Because I don't think that the, standard exists I'm just looking to make incremental, progress you, know when I wake up in the morning I have my daily, routine and it's so fine tuned because, I think a lot of people suffer, from decision. Making, fatigue right, that misses, very, strong research saying that you can only make a certain, amount of good decisions a day and after, that is spent you can anymore and that's really been fine-tuned in the medical, field with surgeons and such in terms of seeing their you know where they're making their errors and stuff with with early. On in the day or later in their days and stuff like that but we also as entrepreneurs. Or her as employees, and executives are, as parents we all can make concerned about decisions, and that's why you know people, like Mark Zuckerberg or, Tony Hsieh they wear the same t-shirts, and and sweatshirts, all the time because they don't want to spend you know use up one of their decisions.

Thinking Oh what am I gonna wear today right so my goal, is to streamline my life, put, the routines the first hour today and the last hour today I really, micromanage. It's at a point where it's habitual I don't even have to think about it and then because those are the times a day where I can really have, the most impact because. Later on in the middle of the day you know team members need this there's firefighting this client, needs that but, the first hour in the last hour I really, want to control so all this really helped develop, grit, and resilience. You know in my body so I could have the ability to persevere you know so I stand guard to, my brain all the time what goes in and, I don't watch like, a lot of the negative news and all the young market I really focus like, you know I watch, and I listen to your show and maybe a handful of little, of things I read each day because, I need to keep it positive. I want hope and I'm looking for help I'm looking for inspiration and also his instruction.

2017-12-01 03:47

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