Coldplaycinization | Sonic Frontiers PART 17

Coldplaycinization | Sonic Frontiers PART 17

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Uh, last time on Game Grumps? But are they talking specifically about the Super Soakers? Ugh, do you really want me to read this? Of course, I really want you to read this! Remember, remember when we used to get flack during Sonic playthroughs for reading Sonic fanfiction? This is so much worse. No, this is beautiful. Hey, I'm Grump! I'm not so Grump! And we're the Game Grumps! Welcome to Andor, Arin. Okay. Yeah, look at this beautiful forest world.

Is my life gonna end or...? Okay. Wow, that was pretty good.

Thanks. This is the forest world. Is this the final of the Four Islands? I don't know.

Great. But I know, I know that this is... It's certainly the fourth of the Four Islands. I just don't know if there's another, like, final extra thing after this. Right. I don't. I can't tell you.

What the fuck? God, this music's epic. Yeah, it's pretty exciting. Yeah. It's making me wanna pee my pants. Pee my pants.

It's making me wanna... Oops, here it goes. Start it peeing my pants. Alright, man, Sonic the Hedgehog.

Here it all. It's... When the world needs to, we need to answer the call. Remember that? Yeah, I do remember that. Alright. I also remember when you couldn't jump up this tree.

For whatever reason. Yeah. What's going on with that? Well, it's making me do this. Ah, jeez.

Am I a dumbass? Alright, this is going... Alright, this is what I was... This is what I was hoping to do right here. Boom, boing. Or... Okay, the boing starts now.

Whoops. There you go. Try again. And a minute and 18 seconds.

I just shaved off my life. You're never getting it back. Shut up.

Okay. I didn't make the dang game. I just played it poorly. Now you got it.

There you go. The camera moving. This music is so epic. I don't know why it suddenly became kind of exciting. It's awesome.

Whoops. It reminds me of Hollow Bastion and Kingdom Hearts. The music's just so dramatic. And you're like, what is even happening? Nothing. Never played Kingdom Hearts. What is happening? Nothing.

You're just checking out at the grocery line. Okay. Keep going. Oh, baby.

It's only going fast. Oh my goodness. Pretty fantastic, man.

Whoa. Look how high up you are. I'm way, way, way, way, way. My ears would be popping like crazy right now.

Ow. That's a good thing I don't have ears. Yes, I do. Oops. Ow. Fuck.

Does that like jaw thing? We're just like, I, I, I, I, I. Like try to kiss me. Yeah, try to like, try to start a yawn.

There we go. Got it. Okay. And then it immediately clives up again. Shit. Ah.

Everything sounds like it's a low pass filter. I mean, that's, I can't remember if we were talking about this on a Game Grumps episode or just talking about it in real life. Oh, you fucking kidding me, dude? Give me a fucking break. No. Arin, aim for a thing.

Okay. Okay. It's so stupid. It's like it'll, it'll keep you on the track if you just use the directions, but the moment you boost, you fucking get broken away. Just wander.

Not all those who wander are lost. I just thought, wow, so profound. Thank you. Especially when it's applied to a Blue Hedgehog cartoon.

Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings reference. Got it. I love to wander.

I ain't lost. Dog. That's one of my favorite things to do, man. If I'm in a city or something, or if I, what the fuck? I'm sorry.

Oh, man. Oh, God. That was not God. Oh, man. Oh, God. Oh, man.

Oh, man. All right. Did you, did you see what happened there? I saw what the end result was. The fucking, the catapult's supposed to be like, you go over here now. This is clearly where you end up.

But it just launched me up with no change in anything. And I was like, I don't know where I am. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what this is.

And then I just started falling. It's pretty great. Not.

I think it's the word that you left out. All right. Well, that's not pretty great. Oh, boy. It's really great. I'm next running, running fast.

All right. What are we talking about? I mean, like, at some point, you just have to be in space, right? Like how I can be positively get. I'm so, I think space is pretty far away. I'm so sorry. I had a really big salad for breakfast.

Wow. Okay. See, this is, this is fucked up.

It won't even let me target it. It's like broken. I'll just jump up and then land it correctly. There you go. What the? Now what? Yeah.

What the fuck? Is there? Oh, because the balls are gone. I said, where would the balls be? Well, you remember? There's like these little floating balls that you like a homing attack on to? Uh-huh. They're gone. So now what? I don't know. That's a great question. You just not get up this part yet? I don't know.

Can you run up the pinky slide? Oh. Oh. Oh. All right.

I now have vertigo and I'm very uncomfortable. That was very harrowing. I hate that you have to do this blind. Oh, geez. Well, also like the controls keep changing and it's like, am I going to fall off here? Like, oh, geez.

Okay. This is the highest shit in the world. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Let's do something. Now press X. I can't. I'm so dizzy.

Whoa. Whoa. All right. Whoa.

Okay. Look at that. That's a thing. Stop spinning. Cool. Oh, they're speaking another language.

Hmm. Here's one new device. You drain.

It is fugly. The drain. It is fugly.

Is that what it just said? Correct. The drain. It is fugly.

He's disappointed in his plumber. Yes, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. That's a thing. I specifically asked Best Buy for a non-fugly drain.

Hey, look at what I got. Look at what they've done. That is decidedly fugly. Agreed. Kill them. Do you think I should complain? Yes.

You deserve it, queen. Thank you. Get the geek squad on the wall. Hello. Geek squad. I'm a queen and I deserve non-fugly sinks.

Agreed. You deserve non-fugly sinks. Thank you for calling geek squad. They're all just funny.

They're all creatures. Whoops. Whoops.

All right. Okay. Hold on. I have to call my co-workers. Is Michael here? No, Michael's out.

How about Jeff? Jeff's not here. How about Clogdorf? Yeah, he's here. What about Clogdorf speaking? Did they give me a fugly drain? Yes. We've been getting a lot of calls like that lately.

Oh, really? It's a known problem? Absolutely. We'll replace it right away. Thanks.

Hello? Hi. I got a fugly. Oh, man. Prepare the death ray. I'd also have a non-fugly drain. Good lord, man.

I've got a whole backstock of them. I'd even know. Like, normally when we go off on Teds, it's like this. I can envision what we're talking about.

And even now, it's only a half Z. I can kind of picture what's going on. Just imagine there's like three of those water creatures like huddling around the service phone.

Yeah. Yeah. Hold on. Let me talk to them. Yeah, we've got non-fugly drains in supply.

Cool. Thank you. Here I go. He goes to a vault, opens it up. There's nothing but beautiful drains. It's like white light.

Oh! I don't even know how they sent you a fugly drain. We have to leave this planet. It's achieving a total eclipse of the heart. Wait, what the hell is happening? Is this a flashback? Yeah, this is a flashback to when a planet died. Abu.

Thousands of voices were suddenly signs. Oh! This does not bode well for our drains. That's where they keep all the non-fugly drains.

Oh, man. Now we've got to go to quarksaur to get more fugly drains. Sonic's going to be pissed. Oh, man.

This gun really is showing up. I wish it was gone, Aria. You know what I'm saying? Hell. Your cyber-corruption is accelerating. How can you smile when you can barely stand? Well, you know how it got kind of real, right? High five. Hey! Oh! He's so positive.

Am I? See ya. And then I go run at full speed again. Run into the speed! I guess that's why, like, Sonic had a headache and, you know, in the other episode we were playing. I guess he's just dying slowly. Yeah, he's totally dying slowly.

So let's keep running at full speed. Oh, yeah! That is some Ludo narrative dissonance right there. I like it. Oh, yeah? Yeah. You're a big fan of Ludo narrative dissonance. That's my favorite kind of narrative dissonance.

The Ludo guy. Yeah. You know that about me. I've told you that a hundred times. I do remember you saying that to me about it. Can you go into more detail about what that means to you? Of course.

Yeah. I've got this friend, Lou. And he was like, bro, I have some narrative dissonance. And I was like, Ludo? Are you sure? That guy? Are you so narratively sonance? Oh, shit. Yup. You asked.

It was pretty good. Thanks. Let's try to trap you into a position where you had to play the Ludo narrative dissonances. Yeah, you can't trap me, dog. I'm like Sonic with chili dogs.

I have explained it maybe three times on the show. Mm-hmm. So. Yeah. It really shows the dedication of your friendship to me. Dude, we played Ludo on the show.

In Club 51 games. Oh, that's right. Yeah. And I've listened to Ludo's music. You know, that one that's like... Ludo Van Beethone? Lake Panchatran or whatever.

Lake Panchatran. Yeah, there's a band called Ludo. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay, cool. I think they did a cover of something or...

But that song, Lake Panchatran, that just laps. It's my favorite lake and possibly train. And maybe Pancho.

Lake Pancho train. Yeah, I really... Depending on where you put the comma... In those words, it's really like...

Oh my gosh. It's a different kind of thing. Oh, nice, dude. Oh, nice. You look where you landed.

The odds were against that. But you pulled it off like a genius. That is a good idea. Yeah, I wrote it down. Oh, nice. Okay.

Top the wall. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Brings? Oh, god. These fucking towers are giving me agita. I can't imagine why. I feel so relaxing.

To be thousands of feet in the air. Getting shot out of a cannon to a place you don't know anything about. I mean, this one's probably the easiest one because it's locking me into the side view. Oh, okay. So there's no risk of falling down, except for that one time there was a risk of falling down. So it's that 2D sonic that you like, that you've been saying that you don't like.

What? Remember how you were saying I wish Sonic didn't have these 2D parts? Well, it's just... Yes, correct. And I stand by that. I'm just saying I feel a lot less stressed out when there's no risk of falling.

Hmm. Same here. Not necessarily the fact that it's 2D. They could have done that in 3D, like locked me in the position. I'm just saying you have 2D0 narrative dissonance.

Right. 2D0 narrative dissonance. Yeah. Yo, that 2D0.

Yeah. And that disownance. I had a bunch of ants, but I disowned them. Oh, no. Oh, boy. My whole ant farm.

They've got to get jobs now. Yeah. They've got to... No more free rides. They've got to go to a different planet and become nailing an ant farm.

Wow. Yeah. I'm really taking it places, man. These coffees are really kicking in.

Yeah, I know. Turn it off. So they just stop spinning. What's the deal? Who cares? The cook is a shit. Oh.

Oh. Horseshoe crabs. In space. What are they doing here? We're coming to find your sinks.

Many of them. Specifically the drain. Have I ever told you about the carpenters' song? Calling occupants of interplanetary craft? No, but that sounds great. It's phenomenal. It's the freaking carpenters.

I can't. Oh, hold on. It is far-treat you, babe.

It is far-treat you, babe. We're going to end up in New Jersey. No.

Not the shore. No. Why is this all art? Why did they suddenly make the game art for a second? Sonic became a gem.

Is that what I'm supposed to be getting out of this? Am I incorrect? You are such a gem, Sonic. They wouldn't do that to Sonic. I do like how they keep adjusting the number. Did their navigation go off because the gem wasn't implanted in their ship properly? I have no fucking clue. I have no idea what just happened where they're going.

Are they landing on this planet? I don't know. Am I on the same planet that I was a while ago? I don't know. I mean, I'm sure it's just because we've been chatting over every single narrative part.

We have the dissidents! They said something about drains. That's all I remember. Perfect. Thanks for the bouncy.

I think I'll take it. What were you saying before the cutscene? You're talking about a band. The Carpenters.

The Carpenters. They're mostly known for being very swell. You know what I mean? Just like trying to la la la.

That kind of stuff. And then they got really weird with it in the late 70s. And they did this one song called Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft.

Whoops. Which was a cover. It's Karen Carpenter.

Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft. Like, I just freaking love it. It's so weird. That's pretty cute. It's adorable.

It's wonderful. I love the Carpenters. Her voice is beautiful. I don't know that I know who those are people.

They were a brother and sister duo. She died tragically at a young age, but they were hugely popular. You know some of their songs, for sure. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I can't do this.

Hold on. I'll look up. I'll look up some Carpenters. What was their big hit? That's what I'm looking at.

You don't even know. Well, they had a bunch of them. Hold on. If they were a bunch, you'd be able to tell me one. One is... Motherfucker.

I keep fucking... I'm such an idiot. Goddamn it. I keep trying to figure out what the stupid fucking laser kick move is, but it's just like... It's either not working or I'm pressing the wrong buttons. They long to be close to you.

You never heard of it. You never heard of it. Top of the world.

Nope. Yesterday, once more. Maybe. Wow. I mean, I don't know the names of these fucks. Dude, some of my favorite bands, I don't even know the name of the song.

It's the nature of music nowadays. I just put on an album and I'm like, great. That was fun. Perfect. I like the one where it's like...

You know? Yeah, that's one of their most famous songs. That's what I'm saying. You gotta hum it for me. Yeah. Whoops.

But you never heard the carpenter song? It's probably a song out there that sounds like that. It reminds me that Led Zeppelin song. It's like... But you know what I'm saying, right? I don't know what the fuck it's called.

What's that song that's like... There's all those old songs. Man, now I gotta think of it.

I was just listening to it the other day. Is it like... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, do you remember? I was talking about an episode. You know that Coldplay song that's like...

That's how everyone knows that song. I don't know what it's fucking lyrics to it. I don't know what song you're talking about.

Exactly. Well, you've heard it though. Which... Have I? Yeah, it's a Coldplay song. I mean, I know a lot of Coldplay songs.

It's the one that's like... That is not what it sounds like. It does. I assume. 100% that's what it sounds like. Are you talking about...

No, no, no. Okay. I'm not talking about that one. I'm talking about the one that's like... Oh! Well, get Chris Martin on the horn.

You would know it if you knew it. Yeah. You could say that about anything. What the fuck is this shit? What in the world? Oh, my tub of goo. Oh, my...

Okay. Oh, are you in there? I don't know. Ew, you're running out of oxygen in the goo tub. Okay.

I didn't like that one a lot. I can't believe it. I think it's called animals or something like that. Animals. Whoops.

Yeah, it goes... I'm going to look up a Coldplay song called Animals, and if it does not sound like that... It's going to sound like that. It's not. It's going to sound exactly like that.

I'm doing a perfect impression of it. Like right off the top, it sounds like that. I don't know if it takes a second to get to that point, but it is definitely like in the song a lot. It goes back to that riff quite a bit. Coldplay animals. That's not it.

Is that something... Is that something called animals? Yeah, it's the song Animals by Coldplay. Okay. That might be it then. Really? Yeah. It's just kind of...

It's got an upper beat or upper higher beat level. A BPM. A faster beat. Yeah.

A higher beat level. Sounds like a sandwich. I think it's a higher beat level in my salad. Hold on. Is that it? I don't think that's it. No, it's too slow.

All right. It's something nature, something human nature. I don't remember. It's a human nature by Michael Jackson. Oh, all right.

It's by Coldplay. All right. I'm not saying human nature is by Coldplay, but the song I'm thinking of is a Coldplay song. All right.

I'll keep them. Now we're on a quest. It's got a monkey.

Humankind. Humankind. Does it have a monkey in it? I don't see a monkey. It's like a picture of a monkey.

It's not it. I'd damn it. It's a fucking... Hold on. It's the song. I'm telling you.

You'll be like, that's it. Hey, Siri. Oh.

No, stop. Though our home world was lost. Our history was not.

Thanks to cyberspace. We... Pornhub is intact. Yeah! They all put their arms up. Let me have one.

No, that's not it. Stop. Shut up. What are their albums? Arin, please. There's an important plot happening. Go ahead and read it out loud while I do this.

All right. All our hopes, our dreams and memories can be uploaded to cyberspace and accessed at any time. Elder, you are needed.

Why what's happening? It followed us. This world is in danger. Wow. He really... He really left that right to the end. Damn it.

What the fuck is that song called? Somebody told it to me. Hold on. Sonic's like the walking dead over here and you're just looking up Coldplay songs that you don't know and probably don't exist. It exists. Hold on.

Oh, poor guy. Oh, he's dying. Yup. Dying around at the speed of sound.

Shut down two towers before I fully die. Oh, Arin, just give up. We'll check it out later. It's... You don't think...

Ah! Okay. Define two towers. Okay. Shut down two towers. Google this. Okay.

Google this, my friend. All right. Game Grumps Coldplay. Because I've only ever talked about Coldplay once on the show and it was about this thing.

And a fan found it. So you'll probably find the thread or whatever. This is so dumb. It's the one that goes...

You know it. How am I supposed to find this? I don't know. There's probably a thing where it's like, what song? This one. No, all I can find is that someone wants to know the episode where Coldplay wanted to work with David Bowie and he was like, no. It's not a very good song, is it? Oh, that's very funny.

Yes, that was funny to hear. Why can't I go? Let's give up. Give up where? On this Coldplay nonsense. Shut down those towers.

That's what I'm doing. Awesome. I love you. I love you. Thanks God, these towers are so tall.

Why do these towers have to fucking tower over everything? I'm in like a pit. Oh man, how do I get out? Don't you just... Oh, I see. I could just imagine you, like, on the, in the front row of a Coldplay concert.

Being like, in the moment between songs when... Actually, no. In the moment where everyone gets quiet because Chris Martin is playing like a really beautiful, like, piano song where silence is used as an instrument. And you're just like, hey! Play the song! And then you're like, quickly escorted out of there. You did it! That's the song.

That's what it sounds like. I did it. Yes! You making fun of how I did it.

I did it so perfectly that your sarcastic recreation of what I did sounds like the song. Wow. You sure? Yes! I'm a hundred percent sure.

How's it going? No. No wonder they're one of the greatest selling acts of this century. That's what it fucking sounds like. It plays in every mall that I'm in.

It plays in every fucking gas station. Everywhere I go. It's my dream. I can't fucking escape it. No, it literally did. That's a hundred percent accurate.

I looked it up or I was asking about it on a previous episode of Game Grumps. I think it might have been a Sonic game. It's a hundred percent accurate.

You realize one hundred percent would mean exactly what you just did with your mouth. No, no. I was saying it's one hundred percent accurate that I... Recreation? That I was dreaming of it. Oh, oh.

It was like ruining my life. Sounds like what is this fucking song? Now it's ruining my life too. People know it. Alright, in the comments, please let us know what Coldplay song Arin's trying to think of. You know what you might be able to find? I can tell you because my brain is visual.

If you look up on YouTube, Coldplay monkey picture. Remind me why I would do this. Because that's what the fucking art is for it. Okay. Yes, that's it.

What is it? What's the song called? Wow. Alright. Adventure of a lifetime. That's the name of the song. I've never heard of this.

Look it up and listen to... Alright, I'm just saying, like, why would I know this song? I've never heard this song. Because it's something everywhere! There it is! Well, let me hear your impression one more time. And now yours. Yeah, I've never heard that.

Great song though. It just gets so in your fucking ear. Yeah. They write catchy stuff. I know.

Thank you. Yeah, you did okay. Why the monkey? Why was the monkey there? Is that the official video? Yeah, it's in the video. It's just like a happy monkey? Well, I don't know. I didn't watch it. I just listened to it.

Oh, okay. Who could concentrate on a monkey at a time like this? When there's... Crawl around? No, yeah.

Mmm. Yeah. Oh, it's like a gods must be crazy kind of situation.

Oh, I see. Or it's like the monkeys find a beats by Dre. I was gonna say, he's holding a very specific type of speaker. We're watching the video now.

Is it a cross promotion commercial? I think beats by Dre has funded like half of the music videos that have been created in the last like 10 years. Remember the Anaconda video where it was just like zoom in? It's very funny. Hello? Have you recreated a non-fugly sync yet? No.

These can't... Oh. Oh. These records by Chaos? Arin, focus on what they're actually saying. What are they saying? Read the subtitles. Okay.

They're gone now. Oh, I don't know what they said. More of a dubs guy myself.

I just won't read that. These records by Chaos. Pretty catchy, if you ask me. Did I use that to get up here? Two forty-five. Okay, that one was a little less accurate. Three record.

Four forty-five. That's pretty close though. That is good. You knew what I was talking about. Oh, yeah.

Four forty-five. Two forty-five. Two forty-five record.

Did you say cold forty-five? Cold forty-five. Two record. Cold forty-five. Delicious. Nice multi beverage.

Refreshing. All right. All right. This is the last tower, okay? Thank goodness. And we don't need to talk about Coldplay anymore after this.

I mean, we will. Eventually. All roads lead back to Coldplay.

Yeah, it's like all things become crab. Yeah. All conversations become Coldplay. It's the carcenization of the Coldplay chronization. Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, wow! Wow.

I was like well, I'll just fall harmlessly onto the grass, and then you face plants in diagonally onto the rock cliffs. It was fine. It was nice. I got this on lock. See, when it leaves you on those pads. Right? I take Umbridge.

When it leaves you on these pads. It wants you to hold the direction, but the direction changes so often that I'm like okay, do I just hold the direction I was going? And sometimes no. Sometimes the answer is no. Oh, motherfucker. Boy, that's cool.

Nice. Okay. Okay. I see. He's jumping on the top of the platform. Yes.

Got it. Got it. Uh-huh. The rock.

Are you doing a slow down version of the Coldplay song? No. Cool. I've never heard that song in here in my life. What even instrument is that? Is that a guitar? It's a guitar. It sounds cool. Cool.

What was at the beginning of a clock? A piano? This shit is revolutionary. What filter is that? What gear are they using? I'd have to listen again, but it sounds like he's just playing near the top register of the guitar. It's a little okay. I will admit.

When I was recreating it with my mouth, I was doing it in a different key. Yes. That one was way higher.

Yes. It was like... Mine was like... Right. So maybe that's why you got confused.

Yeah, that's probably it. And definitely not because I've never heard the song before. You haven't heard that song? Correct. Absolutely what I just said. I find that difficult to believe. It's everywhere.

That's why I was looking it up. Dude, I don't listen to Coldplay. Have you seen the music I listened to? It doesn't matter. I don't listen to Coldplay either. I just heard in a gas station or something. No, I think Coldplay is great, but like...

How can Target? No, man. I'm always... I'm not saying I don't like Coldplay. I'm just saying I don't listen to them. Yeah, no.

I mean, I'm just like... Do you know where I was listening to the earlier today? Gilgamesh. A jazz fusion band from the mid to late 1970s. Yeah.

Well, are you listening to Gilgamesh when you go to fucking Target? Yes. Walk around buying clothes? I have it. I don't buy clothes.

Are we wearing the same jeans since 2014? You know those. Okay, that's true. Hold on. I'll bind it to my T10. Then you guys see the...

I really should have been paying attention because I have no fucking idea what's happening. It's okay. We'll pick it up. Oh, wait.

Are they trying to get us to sympathize with the bad guys? They're not the bad guys. They're just misunderstood. Well, I've been killing them.

Yes, you're misunderstood. Why would they let me kill the misunderstood folks? This is very sad. Maybe he's sleeping.

With his neck backwards. That was the thing that we fought with the four legs. Yes. And down he goes.

They had a plan. Their plan was to die. And in that case, they succeeded. Very good plan. Yeah.

It's fun that they're turning into this like a Gundam adventure. Yeah, it's cool. Stage three gonorrhea. I've got the penis madness.

It inches. It's spreading. Did you ever see that movie Gone Girl? When if it was Gone Girl Aurhea? That'd be very funny. That gonorrhea girl.

It's ridiculous. Oh, hey, Sonic! Wait, so this is the world that they're in? Yes. So they don't see the stuff that's in the real world. I guess not.

So they're just walking around a red world reacting to stuff that's around them. 100% nice. You 100% of that. What can I say, man? I'm fucking awesome. You're amazing. I guess there are only four towers, but still.

Sonic, yes? What happened to him? But if you have gonorrhea. I'll be right back. He's stuck between realities.

Wait, he has gonorrhea! I'll be right back. Literally. There were so many pop-ups. What? They got a real break? Oh, good morning! It's like Dave stretching out after a good night's sleep.

Palms are sweaty. Mom's spaghetti. Oh! Did somebody hit the VCR, please? You show 100% of suck! Take back the corruption and bring him back. Take back our political system.

Whatever it takes. Um, okay. Do we have power when we do this? Has this ever been established? We'll take on the gonorrhea for you.

We'll suck it out of you, like leeches. I already have it, so whatever. Honestly, it's sort of a lateral move for me. Whoa! Everyone, thank you. I won't let you do it.

Opens up Tinder. I'm back to the grind. This is our chance. I never simulated a scenario where Sonic helped, since you never authorized it. I still don't want to. Please.

Wow. Really emotional for an AI. All right, jeez. No more gonorrhea. All right, damn it! This is not an alliance. If that's how you want to spin it, Dr. Ego, man.

Gotta go get checked out. I guess he turned on us. Dr. Egg's Benedict Arnold. Damn you, Sonic! Oh goodness. Okay. Oh, this is like an actual world.

Yeah. All right, great. Easy peasy.

I got this. You fucking got this. This is a big deal. Hi, creatures. I have forgotten what these do.

What this does. I have forgotten. Do I do this? Nope. You've killed them.

Oh, the children. They're dead. So wait. So they're inside the goo people. Hey, what? Killing. Yung.

They're inside the goo people. Who's inside the goo? These little creatures that have been helping out. They're at the heart of the goo people.

You've seen it, right? You know, I think it would be a lot easier if I was just like... Sonic Frontier's plot. There we go. I feel like it's like two seconds of reading. Like the goo people are upset.

Sonic Frontier's... The player explores the Starfall Islands to collect the Chaos Emeralds after Sonic and his friends are separated when falling through a wormhole. They fell through a wormhole? Yeah, I know.

I'm learning a lot. Was that at the beginning? Okay, yeah. All right, here we go. Three...

Four paragraphs. Yeah. Dr. Eggman travels to the abandoned Starfall Islands to steal the technological secrets created by the Ancients. Creatures related to Chaos. Okay, yeah, so those are the goo people.

Yes. When he uploads his artificial intelligence unit, Sage, into a portal, several robotic defense units are summoned. Detecting a threat signature, Sage ceases hijacking the portal and initiates a protection protocol, dragging Eggman into an artificial dimension called cyberspace. Wait, so Sage was the reason that Eggman is in the cyberspace? Yes.

Because she was trying to protect him from... From the robotic defense units that she accidentally activated. Oh, my bad.

Okay. Yeah. Sonic Tails an Amy investigate activity that has drawn the Chaos Emeralds to the islands, but their plane is sucked into a wormhole to cyberspace. Word. Sonic escapes to the islands in the real world, where a disembodied voice tasks him with finding the emeralds and destroying the island's robotic titans to remove the boundary between the real and digital worlds. Believing this will save his friends, including Knuckles, who has been transported there while exploring the ruins above Angel Island and has been settled with a crippling case of gonorrhea.

Sonic releases their digital forms from cages created by Sage, who works to free Eggman from cyberspace. Destroying the cages causes Sonic's body to become increasingly corrupted. Sage cautions Sonic to leave, influencing the island's mechanical guardians and titans to attack him, but grows to sympathize with him while observing his interactions with his friends and forms a mutual bond with Eggman.

Hot. Is this making sense? I kind of was zoning out because I was fighting... Goddamn it, Arin! I'll leave this for your benefit! Well, that was fighting these fucking wolf creatures, and it was like a whole new thing I had to do, where I had to, like, time shit right. Alright. So, Sage... Sage transported Eggman...

transported. Transfarted Eggman to cyberspace world. Prepare to transfer it.

Because she accidentally activated some shit on the island. Right. The big things you've been fighting. And then randomly... the Sonic adventure friends... got sent to cyberspace too because of some wormhole? Yes, they were all sucked into a wormhole and Sonic, instead of being sucked into the wormhole, transported to the islands.

Okay, the islands where all the ancient technology is. Right. Okay, and then... And so he's destroying the barrier between these islands and cyberspace. Okay. Which Sage wants him to do because that'll free Eggman.

Got it. So she's kind of manipulating him, but also she's kind of like, oh, he's kind of cool though. Yeah, she's realizing, as he goes along, that he's good to his friends, so she's sympathizing with him. Because she cares for Eggman the way Sonic cares for his friends. I believe. I think that's what they're saying.

Okay. So there's kind of like a weird God complex thing going on. Yup. Because Eggman created her. I think so.

So she's like, my master, I must save him. Sonic... Sonic and his friends learn about the history of the ancients, who were revealed to be an extraterrestrial race whose planet was destroyed by the end.

An all-powerful entity. The ancients used the chaos emeralds to escape and were drawn to the master emerald on Earth. But the end followed and started to wipe out their new civilization. The ancients built the titans to seal it within cyberspace, with their essences remaining with their accessories. The Coco, who became inert once Sonic and his friends helped fulfill their final desires in life.

Okay, so there's some entity? Have we seen that yet? No, but that's what the big voice was. From the sky. Okay. Like, now I'll fucking destroy you all. That's called the end.

The end to tea. And the ancients built these titans that you've been fighting to seal the end into cyberspace. So basically, like, as you're destroying all these robot defenses, you're also, you think you're saving your friends, but you're also unleashing this fucking nightmare horror and corrupting your own body and, like, getting cyberspace gonorrhea. Okay.

Makes sense. After destroying three of the titans and disabling the towers that maintain the spatial boundary, Sonic's that comes to his corruption and is trapped between dimensions. Wait, that's... That's what we just saw. Okay.

Released along with his friends and Eggman, Sonic's guide reveals itself to be the end. Ah, so the end was the disembodied voice telling me to get the chaos emludes. The end has been manipulating this whole situation. Oh, it's like Metal Gear Solid, dude! The end attacks Earth using the last titan, Supreme.

Sonic's friends purge the corrupt... Jesus Christmases! Sorry, I'm doing this. No, it's okay. I'll just, I'll just wait this out. Oh, Caterpillar, still upset. Sonic's friends purge the corruption from him by sacrificing their physical forms, while a reluctant Eggman and Sage help him collect the scattered chaos emeralds.

Okay, so that is what just happened? Yes, that's what is in the process of happening. Whoops, I died. Okay. All right, great. So, the whole goal of this is to get my friends out of cyberspace. Correct.

But the goal of the end is to escape from cyberspace itself. The world's okay. Okay, so everything has to do with...

Being stuck in cyberspace. If cyberspace gets unmerged, then everybody's happy. Well, yes, except for everybody, because the end is trying to destroy the universe. I see.

So, maybe my friends should just accept that they're stuck there forever. Oh, you know what I never thought of that? Well, I mean, if it's to save the whole fucking universe, maybe it's more important. Maybe. But maybe you could save everyone, because this is a game about a hedgehog that runs fast. Next time on Game Grumps. Yeah.

We'll see you later. Yeah. See you. Wait, no, you want to finish this guy? I mean, yeah, nice. Nice. You're killing this little snail butt.

I'm gonna keep, I'm gonna keep attacking. I'm gonna keep attacking till you die. I'm gonna get you. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Sonic, Sonic, Sonic, Sonic. It's really hard. All right, calm down, bud.

Okay, easy peasy. Now I just have to not get hit. Everything's fine.

Whoops. I just have to not get hit. I've been hit. Okay, got that. And there's some. It's way up there.

That's okay. What the fuck, dude? Give me a break. Oh, dude. Oh, dude. Okay.

Dude, are you kidding me? Okay. You're all right. That's so bright out now. I'm not all right. Next time I'm a gamer, I just buy.

Goodbye. Bye-ay-bye.

2023-05-16 12:43

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