Ziryab: The World's First Rock Star • Puppet History

[Music] welcome one and all to puppet history today we'll be taking an ever whining look at yet another chapter in the heavy heavy book we call history while our guests ruthlessly compete for the covenant title of history master i am obviously your beloved host the professor thank you brian bergara are you ready yeah let's do it i'm feeling good about this oh well that's a change special guest zach cornfeld are you ready i'm ready professor let's do this then let's crack in to begin zach and ryan tell me what's it like to be an influencer i really want to know uh ryan what's it like i think i'm going to let you take this one first just because you're the guest and all you know it's a it's a word that i'd say we don't love well i'll change it i'll change it hey tell me what's it like to be a celebrity i don't really consider myself a celebrity i just consider myself someone who people recognize my stupid face i do disagree with that ryan we did go to starbucks once and they said and what's your name and you said ryan bergara celebrity okay i actually thought that was a interaction that was happening in confidence that would stay between the two of us but i could see that there's no boundaries with you ryan what's that tattoo that you have on your inner thigh is it okay now i am mega celebo ryan bergara and it kind of goes across the center so you gotta really now that we've started things off in a nasty note i'll have you know professor i'm gonna take a big piss in this cup after this thing is done oh my goodness all right oh my god so that's what being a celebrity is like huh i mean you're the one who's gonna clean it so yeah dude nah dude i'm just gonna leave it entering the howard hughes phase of celebrity i only ask because our subject today was undoubtedly an influencer style music food you name it this fella influenced it back in the 9th century and if you're thinking sure i bet kings and rulers back then had all kinds of influence well bob i've got news this was no king in fact he was more or less a servant today we're talking about zyriab the beeper of iberia syria syria i feel like i have the least cool of the z names like why couldn't i be ziri obcornfell that's way dope oh i was going to say zorn yeah abu el hassan ali benatha better known by the nickname of zyriab made his way through life as a mola mola is most often translated as client but it's perhaps easiest to think of it as a musical servant basically ziriyab was a musician who relied on the patronage of wealthy rulers picture a royal court and some musicians sitting off on the side ready to perform for the whims of an emir or caliph at a moment's notice one of those fellas is ziriab i have a question uh if it wasn't a bad look to own uh musical slaves would you guys have those that feels like a loaded question professor huh what do you mean a living dj what about i would rather maybe just spotify picture this it's lunchtime you're gonna make a ham sandwich and you say dj it's lunchtime and then the dj goes then it just goes off we don't know much about ziriob's early life but we do know he was born in the 780s ce was probably black and was the son of a man named nafa who himself was likely also a mola as well as a convert to islam around the turn of the 9th century ziriyab studied music in baghdad under ishak l mosley who was the most accomplished musician for the caliph haroon al-rashid legend has it that one day isaac was performing for haroon when haroon wanted to hear something a little different haroon singled out syria and told isak to hand his instrument the ood over to his young apprentice a nude a sort of like a clarinet b sort of like a loot or c sort of like a harp okay all right well by the way i'll give you a bonus point if you draw the instrument oh no now you're throwing in extra stuff i'd already put the pen back on my cap yeah sorry dude sorry dude shut up huh a rotten jelly bean for the beef boy no this one this is going to be cut out of the episode so i think not sir no it's going to be good no it'll be here ryan what do you got i'm going to go with c harpo uh not oprah like harp check the heart the instrument zack what do you got look we're all picturing the classic guy playing the harp or playing the little guitar i think that's a misdirection i'm going a he's a sax man points to neither of you damn it but uh i'll give a point to zach because it's a pretty drawing yay oh there it is the food is a forefather to the loot with a fretless neck and a pear-shaped body most importantly it was to zyria of what the upside-down guitar was to jimi hendrix when haroon told east hawk to let ziryab take a turn on his ood ziriyab asked if he could instead fetch his own urg as he had modified his instrument so it could play his own custom songs this was exactly the type of novelty that harun was looking for and ziryab songs delighted the caliph after this performance what did esak have to say to his young pupil a the student has become the teacher please modify my ood and teach me your songs b i've nothing left to teach time to walk into the sea or see if you don't get the hell out of baghdad i will fully murder you yeah fully murder you he's not cutting corners okay ryan what do you got i'm gonna go with c upstage me one more time you little piece of and it'll be the last thing you ever do i'm going with b for bath time let's get a little washer in the ocean halftime okay a point for ryan [Laughter] paraphrasing a bit but yeah seeing his role as a most influential musician in serious jeopardy ishaq told zyriab to hit the pricks or else not liking the sound of that or else syria chose the brits after baghdad we lose track of xerion first spell eventually probably around 816 ce zyriab made his way to modern day tunisia where the star wars are from there he found patronage in the court of ziadet allah in a mirror in the yellalabia dynasty that gig however would be short-lived aziryab fell out of favor with his new employer why a he sang a song the emir found insulting b he slept with the emir's favorite concubine or c he drunkenly slapped the amir's court vizier i'm really trying to help ryan win one of these we all are shooting from the hip over here there ain't nothing you can do because uh it's pretty determined it's not predetermined we have a complex victory algorithm anyways i put uh b for banged where he shouldn't okay zach b for boy rock stars oh no the company inc points to no one jesus christ damn it around 821 ce zyriab sang a song based on a poem by the renowned hero poet ontario ontario was half black and ziadet allah who was himself of mixed race decided that zyria was insulting him he ordered ziriyab to be hit on the nape of the neck warning the musician that if he was still in africa in three days time he would be beheaded it's very funny to me that someone in an order says something so specific hit that man on the nape of his neck give him a little spanking that he won't forget nick his clavicle for the second time now zyriab was out of a job for offending someone in this case however there was a valuable lesson that syria couldn't have failed to grasp if you want a steady gig in this industry above all else make sure you always please your patron i'm getting real uh inside luellen davis vibes from this guy i don't know that if i'm supposed to be picturing oscar isaac but good luck getting me to stop i mean who can blame you that guy's a marble sculpture holy i thought his character eric and ryza skywalker was pretty weak but yeah i think he's otherwise man i would say the whole film came out a little gooey and runny that's a nice way to describe dog because i hate that movie man it's so bad okay moving along oh did someone say why oh it's a beast of chevaton no i i didn't say wine why why i think you mean why not ah okay i'm here today to talk about bright cellars what's that jeff well it's a wine company that lets you take a heavy little quiz to figure out the wine for you but i mostly eat jelly beans and spiders i don't know anything about wine you don't need to the questions are simple like hey what's your favorite kind of chocolate ah dark boom you are one step closer to your perfect wine oh baby that's a breeze answer a few more of those and you'll get six custom picked wines along with wine education cards telling you where it's from what temperature to serve it at and what to pair it with and if you don't like one of your wines bright cellars delight guarantee means they'll replace the bottle with your next box hey uh i almost hesitate to ask but what are you pairing your wine with these days huh oh no no i don't need peasants anymore i'm vegan now so a lot of eggplants and stuff but in my box i got a delicious rising tail cabernet sauvignon that i paired with cheese and pinatas just like the card said and it was heaven babe oh wow anyway if you use the link in the video description below you'll receive a whopping fifty percent off your first six bottles that's a lot yeah well thanks again to bright sellers i'm off to prowl some french pastures uh what a guy anyway where were we oh yes ziriyab moved farther west in the mediterranean setting sail for the iberian peninsula since the early 8th century most of present-day spain and portugal a region then known as al-andalus had been ruled by the islamic umayyads ziryab set his sights on becoming the client of the empire's leader the umayyad emir al-haqam the first in cordoba when zyriab arrived in modern-day al-jasiras on the southern tip of spain in 822 ce he received some bad news about his plan uh-oh what happened hey the emir had banned all music in cordoba b the emir was dead or c ethek his old teacher had already taken the job he was hoping to get oh man i want it to be footloose because then we could have kevin bacon graphics [Music] oh bacon that sounds delicious okay anyways i'm gonna go with c remember me i want the saga to continue i also went see revenge of the sith nice i love it i love it all right let's find out i think it's just fun to have a character return you know i do too i hope you're right i hope we're both right i hope you get some jelly beans ryan you deserve a couple it ain't gonna matter how many i have i'll tell you it's a complex algorithm not a well-insulated curtain no it's not smell that undilution air yes sir forget the fact that i've been literally chased out of two jobs already my lucky ship's about to come in just as soon as i get to the court of amir al-haqam and show him how musical i am pardon me did you say you're hoping to be a client of a mere al-haqam kind friend yes i am what's your name i'm almansoor and i'm afraid your plan's not gonna work a mirror how come he did oh i mean rick very sad but now what am i gonna do well don't fret oh i thought you were gonna say more there it was a joke since the ooh doesn't have any frets anyway the new amir also loves music in fact i'm one of his musicians come with me and i'll introduce you did i call it or what this dang town is where i'm meant to be i should have known when i picked the same answer as ryan yeah you should think of me as your true south wow it was like i was transported into another time uh points to no one ziriob's bad news turned out to be good news by may 822 ce zyriab was received by the emir with according to one account more than open arms before ziriyab even got to cordoba the emir sent to eunuch to meet him with mules and food for his whole family that's right ziryab was a wandering musician with mouths to feed this far into the story it's the first time we hear of your family tale as old as time you you want to create that barrier between your onstage persona and your rockstar you don't hear about david bowie raising a little kid right you know that he had one but that's not what it's about he's the myth he's the legend he's zeriob just wish i wanted new more that's it yeah i wish you knew more too young was shown to a mansion where anything he or his family wanted was at their beck and call three days later zyria met with the emir abdal rahman and apparently made quite the impression al-rahman immediately gave him a sizeable salary and according to one report would listen to no other singers in his court this was like you indoja cat yeah say so still slapped oh see i knew it still a banger i listen i listen to it all the time don't you get this don't you cat that this was only the start of abdal rahman's obsession with his favorite musician apart from his salary the sultan gave zyrio multiple houses and considerable land holdings he even gave salaries to ziryab's sons to ensure they wouldn't take away from what he felt ziriyab deserved syria was invited to the emir's parties and drank the amir's palm wine the emir eventually even had a secret door installed so ziriob could enter his room without anyone knowing oh they're so they're they're let's they could just be really good friends that wanted private time maybe they were showing each other their baseball card collection or something like that well they were showing each other some ball collection not your best work i don't mean to be crude here but how big was the secret door oh no ryan was it um like circular maybe oh no ryan with all this attention being paid to zyriab it's only reasonable to wonder could he deliver the goods well ziriyab is said to have memorized ten thousand songs these apart from all the songs he came up with himself whoa that's more songs that were on my ipod shuffle this is strange to imagine this man as essentially a human ipod that's a fun graphic someone's gonna have to make and it wasn't just new songs he created he's credited with inventing an entirely new form of music [Music] the nova is a suite of songs all appearing independent but actually related to one another through a shared theme one nova might take anywhere from five to nine hours to perform this dude is starting to sound like the peter jackson of music it's like alright we don't need three movies of this just just give us one that's actually good cut that run time down look they were figuring it out you know you start with the big old chunk of something and then you whittle it down until it becomes doja cat this is history zyriab also added a fifth string to the u which was colored red and was meant to influence the listener's soul some report he even changed the materials used in the ood using wolf guts for the lower strings and an eagle talon as a pick dude that's metal as jamming on wolf cuts theatricality i love this it's kind of like a trolls world tour it's exactly like trolls world tour now when ziriov was performing his nine hour long compositions he wasn't sweating it out up there alone al-rahman's court featured 12 male musicians including al mansour and at least 38 female slave singers these women would perform for the royal court from behind a curtain where they could be heard but not seen when men were present this is like a mike pence situation mother what nine-hour song would you like to hear two of these women in particular gizlan and were critical to zyriob's success why a musical notation wasn't invented yet so they memorized his songs as he wrote them while in a drunken stupor b they had vocal ranges that went unmatched for centuries or c they would poison any rival musicians who came to court uh ryan i just think they had uh bees and bitching pipes i hate agreeing with you ryan the fact that we know their names i think it's a dream girls situation why don't we find out through the magic of theater i'll be your dream girls [Music] skeptics come in here oh jesus christ yes what do you want zeriab a new song a new song his version has once again visited me during my slumbers okay all right your breath smells rank dude how much palm wine did you drink quick write this song down do what now oh right not invented yet okay memorize this scat scat scap do swap pop scrap scrub scan sway bump got it wait one more time for me scap scaps cap do sway it really just really hit that bump we'll hit the bump we got it go back to sleep okay good cause i'm not gonna remember that in the morning you never do classic classic he's uh indulging on the muses so to speak i get it okay well points to no one again look i love giving out these jelly beans but you guys are making it tough yeah i guess he didn't have voice memos or siri or anything like that yeah what a godsend i think i've gotten absolutely none of these right and yet somehow i got a feeling you're looking pretty good for the finish line here ryan i'm just here to learn you know it's not about who wins and who loses i just i love history man what a show of humility a jelly bean for zach yeah apparently inspiration came to ziryab while he slept off whatever he'd gotten up to the previous night gizlan and huneda also known as ziryab's song holders would memorize his drunken ramblings then go back to the other slave singers and teach them the song when ziriab awoke the next morning gizlan and huneda would play and sing for him his own song which he would then memorize all because there wasn't yet such a thing as musical notation while zyriab is the name remembered in history gizlan and huneda truly were the unsung heroes of his career now i mentioned up top that zyriab was an influencer and as any hairy styles will tell you it takes more than just some musical clout to achieve those hallowed ranks it takes style it takes charisma it takes an underwhelming role in dunkirk and ziryab had two of those things in spades what do you have against harry styles nothing i said he had style and charisma and an underwhelming performance in dunkirk no an underwhelming role in dunkirk the role was underwhelming he wanted more of harry give me more harry name and aspect of cordoba and life and ziriob impacted it fashion well before ziriov everyone would switch from summer to winter wardrobes on special days of the year but it was ziriov who started the trend of gradually changing clothes over the course of the year wearing lighter silks in the spring and more colorful heavier clothes as the mornings got colder toward the end of summer you goddamn iconic class zaryava love it this guy's like kanye west oh you don't think that's a big deal well i'm just getting started ziriov was learning in astronomy geography history poetry and basically everything else he introduced more effective underarm deodorants to cordoba why he even got folks to start drinking out of glasses instead of metal cups apparently xerion's hairstyle was so damn cute everyone made their servants slaves and eunuchs adopted that is so demeaning they're not a poodle my god it was cut straight across the forehead just above the eyebrows and then it was tucked back behind the ears and uh it sort of flowed at the temples i'm having a hard time picturing it that's okay i guess i have to wait till the episode comes out yeah you'll have to wait i'm just kidding i don't watch this show i know i know you don't zerob introduced sleeping on leather beds and eating from leather placemats why he even got people hooked on trendy new vegetables particularly asparage what's that what is us farage this is an open-ended question but i bet you can get there come on try your best is this like a vegetable that we know or am i like what kind of veggies know it well we know it oh well then i gotta change my answer did you put down a vegetable you don't know about well i put a vegetable family oh okay all right ryan uh a kind of like asparagus he's an influencer the asparagus makes your p smell funny i think people would think that's novel zach would you put give me the beat boys i'm trying to keep it in the musical family love your enthusiasm zack but a point for ryan yes xeriob didn't change the smell of iberia with just deodorant no one in cordoba ate asparagus until ziriobs started munching on it he really impacted every corner of society man that town must have been smelly as as happens when someone gets very popular very quickly ziryab had his share of fun poked at him while he was revolutionizing life as cordobans knew it hater's gonna hate a renowned local poet and frequent companion of the emir would regularly poke good-hearted fun at syria ziriyab however eventually got upset at how many jokes he was the butt of and complained to his pal and patron the emir what happened next a the emir forced the poet to eat a dolphin raw and in its entirety b the poet was thrown in prison with a sentence to last quote however long xerib wants you to stay in there or see the emir so enjoyed seeing someone get under zeriab skin that he commissioned the world's first book of jokes titled anzeri of smell and other lampoons okay let's go with uh b time to go to jail and zach i'm going hey it's dolphin time i just can't eating a dolphin is such a perplexing answer that i want that to be true if it's not the answer i need to have us talk with you after this to find out what's going on in your brain that you came up with that i don't encourage our viewers to eat dolphins uh do as i say not as i do point to ryan yes the emir tossed the poet in the clink until zeriyov and zeriya malone said to let him out which was apparently a while eventually one of the amir's viziers visited ziriyab and asked him to get over it zuriov finally allowed the poet to be released land holdings and salaries may be nice but ziriob remember basically just a musical servant had managed to earn the power to imprison anyone who crossed him wow can you guys imagine if like uh adele had the power to send you to prison on a whim i feel like she does oh god because of syria's musical feats his profound influence on andalusian culture and his sometimes questionable interpersonal conduct it's not much of a stretch to call him the world's first rock star questions surround how much of xeriob's biography is real and what parts may have been aggrandized biographies about the man are largely based on another lost and extremely flattering bio thought to have been written by one of his descendants any mythologizing however fits the image of a rock star or any celebrity perfectly they're larger than life and we like it that way look at the lives of those we follow online those who define our culture today do we believe these lives on instagram are 100 real or do we buy into the exaggerations sure we like to pretend richard gere has an affinity for gerbils and ellen degeneres cares about other people because that's part of the fun no matter how much of xeriops life you take at face value what can't be denied is that zyria made a lasting mark he was an influencer i love it i i can't believe it's taking me this long in life to learn about the world's first rock star the dude's awesome he had some questionable personality traits but rock stars are like that thus concludes our history lesson i'm going to go tally the scores to see who receives the covenant cup the title of history master while i do that please enjoy this special performance from zeriob's ood with a special song he allegedly wrote based on a dream he had while in a drunken stupor oh boy good luck you know ryan no matter whatever happens first of all i feel great about your chances but i'm just thrilled that we got to learn about history together really nice to hang out with you buddy i wish i could share that sentiment because frankly i'm trapped here so really i'm just destined to lose forever [Music] this is an obvious love song i've written using the zeriove method i dreamt of the lyrics i woke up and i screamed at them at some women so without further ado it's a perfect song well i spent a sunday shopping with my friend the lion tamer even though she snogged [Music] [Music] i drank some wine and fell asleep and when i woke i realized my brilliant brain it dreamt up all the words are you following alone a birthday party magellan's uncle was a senator from gary indiana named elroy squirt the third he was confused about his nephew being turned into a spider so he asked what had a curse tried to reply but got distracted when the lion tamer put a tongue in hell boys left most here thank the lord me dear old man when at the party fathers baby because she totally shed our tears play those lips fuzz man it's a good song all the best songs you've probably ever heard i love this solo almost as much as the professor how much sense this song makes i said a ding dang dong this is the greatest love song your preachers have truly ever heard have you ever been regaled with as romantic as that of royce square the third [Music] a perfectly good song that was uh that was wow wow wow wow wow what an odd performance and maybe a good case for writing songs while conscious anyway our team crunched the numbers and our complex victory algorithm has declared that this week's history master is well another one to add to the docket what's that your ledger just gets redder and redder as the day goes you watch yourself this sounds like libel does it yeah i can get litigious you piece of oh my god wow wow you guys thank you a trophy and oh my god ryan look at this you get all this professor merch dude have you never gotten one of these no well he's trying his best to put this pin next to a pin of myself we can be little buddies little pals zach thank you so much for being here ryan thanks for trying everybody else thank you for watching puppet history where the details are always a little fuzzy we'll see you next time everybody [Music] elroy sweat the third

2021-04-05 04:13

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