Social Media “Your business or everybody’s business”
welcome back to conversations with sharon and rosa i'm rosa and i'm still sharing each week we want to thank you all for tuning in to conversations with sharon and rosa um we bring you conversations that we deal with in our own lives and um we just want to share that with you all today and with our topic today you'll hear a little bit more about um what we mean when we say we you know bring to you uh things that are happening in our own in our life sure um but before we get into the today's topic i want to get my shout outs as usual gotta give love to our subscriber because without you all we can not grow and i just randomly uh choose about three two to three subscribers each week just so we'll know you'll know that we do recognize you and we thank you and we appreciate each and every one of you all so our first subscriber uh is uh dee charles we thank you for your comments we thank you for tuning in each week also from merrell who is a front line worker and we appreciate all that you do and all that you've done through this pandemic and we appreciate you stay safe my sister i appreciate you um and marlene our philly connection well sharon's philly uh connection hey she's from philly and we appreciate your comments each and every week and you do crack me up so yeah oh you keep it real sis you keep it real thank you so much so now that the shout outs are out of the way um today's conversation um some of y'all might need to hear this don't know who but it's gonna speak to somebody today's conversation is social media your business or everybody's business so what do we mean when we say that and we'll give you a little bit of that today morning again and welcome and welcome and thank you uh this morning as always i'm with my lovely charming my forever date my best friend my lover my wife oh all of that somebody has said a couple of somebody said that we aren't affectionate with each other well i don't i think we've addressed that and it's okay you know yeah i don't know if you want us to hold hands and ain't that kind of party but okay this is my sweet thing so today's topic uh is really about social media um unless you've been under a rock you are totally affected by social media uh matter of fact you have to go out your way to not be affected by it uh it's everywhere it's everyone's using it times 10 times 100 and today we just want to have a conversation is about with social media once you put something out there once you post do you still think it's your business or does it become everybody's business and you know the sad thing like once you once you let it go it's out there yes it's out there forever forever and it's um it's not all fun and games it's not all uh good stuff so yes we're talking to adults but too many children are abusing it if you will oh just have access we don't i have to be careful with that word abuse so i will say that too many people are using it uh for destructive things and unkind things and inappropriate things so if you're a parent um do you know what your children are posting and what they're looking at and how long and i struggle with that too is i have two children and i you know i um downloaded a lot of the the platforms on my uh my phone just so i could keep up with them like the instagrams and the tick tocks and i don't even go on as often as i should um as a mom so i get it i mean it's just too much it's almost like another job oh it's keeping up with other people not mentioning yourself your own right exactly but um but one of my rules of thumb is you know the first time i see you know profanity from them or or something that just doesn't seem or look right then you know you have a conversation or they're receiving profanity yeah all you have to do is be somewhat plugged in and even if you don't intend to find certain things things will be coming at you you turn on your computer you don't know who's coming to yours chatting and and who's saying what to whom and how and what but let's start with the adults yeah yeah let's focus on that part yeah here's um here's a stat they said 50 of all new divorces has something to do with facebook meaning so some kind of whether it's facebook or what's the other one sweetie instagram tip tip top there's um twitter uh you name it let's say the top four top five video you need one to destroy your life you only need one bad tweet uh to really rack havoc with you and they're probably focusing more on like you know a spouse or something on a social media um because you have to know that when you put that out there and even though you have a small circle of friends that stuff circulates right you don't know who their friends are and never and then somebody tagged somebody so so here it is here's the guy or the girl who tells a spouse uh they're gonna be in orlando for five days for meetings but you're really in hawaii with your new sweet thing and the new sweet thing has she's got the common sense of a beetle bug she posts on on her website um that she's in hawaii with her new man oops oops i hate when that happens you know so but yet now she's posted unbeknownst to you the um the the the current wife um finds it files for divorce and guess what she offers into evidence pictures of you in hawaii with your new boo during the marriage right right when you were supposed to be in orlando so you you you see where i'm getting at you know so it's not what you're it's not just what you're posting is what the other person is posting and why would they be posting that to you or your friends and let's talk about friends yes how many friends do we have hmm just ask yourself that um right now rosa and i because of you know sharon and rose's conversations we uh we have about 1200 friends i would say maybe 400 of the people i know personally personally or some kind of connection the other eight not really but i know where the connection is coming from right you know what i mean because if you know good people and they knew no good people and they connect you all around that that's how we want it to flow but you don't know who the other person's friends are yes so here we are and you don't post to something that is only jesus can forgive you i'm sorry only jesus but i think we i think most of the times we post in a um in a hurry some you know for for lack of a better lack of words we sometimes post in a hurry and we sometimes post on emotions yes and yes when we post on in a hurry it may not come off correctly you know it may not say what you intended for it to say yeah and when you are posting on emotions because you're just mad at you know your best friend or your your girlfriend who just dumped you yeah you got to say or get something you know right back at it you got to shoot right back at it yeah um i think that's when it gets murky and gets messy yeah and i think um when you know in order for it to to be messy you meant it for a particular person to see it or maybe a smaller group but like sharon was said when you have 1200 friends or you know and you only mean for one or two people to see this because that's who you really want to talk to right but then you have 1200 other people that just saw it and now people are you know commenting asking you questions and you're getting all upset about it and mad about it and and you don't want that your business well that's when it becomes everybody's business so it's not our business when you post it but it becomes everybody business because you put it out on social media and everyone's reading it and now they're talking about you and you you know like i say you know the good rule is like to say if you feel that emotional about it go to sleep and wake up in the morning yeah if you still feel the same then write it you know because like like you said you know you know a lot of us it's all about emotion well i'm going to tell her that oh i'm going to tell on him or what i'm going to let the world know how you really got that five thousand dollars yeah oops oops i hate when that happens right you know but it's out there so so be mindful be careful and that's a good rule of thumb just to give yourself some time you know i mean i'm guilty of that too i've you know she's right on it she's like you know i've reposted um stuff and you know had to draw it back like it's not true you know that was you know fake news or whatever the case may be and you don't want to have to go through all of that you know what i'm saying or you know so just you know think about it or research it before if it's something that you're going to repost or um maybe even you know if it's something you're trying to post because you're mad at somebody or you're just excited about something or just you know give it a minute you don't have to be the first to give the news just because something is happening and you don't you don't have to give the news at all you know everything is not to be posted you ever see some things uh that's very um so very personal is just like look i need to call her this ain't a facebook i mean do you even process it that way this is not a facebook uh post and i'm not picking on facebook or any other social media medium out there it's just that we have gone from zero to two trillion yeah you know we're just over here with it and your kids are posting your parents are posting you posting your exes read the post all of that stuff and then you go around or see the video because you know if you're mine sees our youtube channel so let's talk about a couple of things that maybe you shouldn't do we you know we got a buddy who oh you know i need a new job and she's out there running around interviewing with everybody who will interview her you know and who doesn't look for a better job so um she's out there interviewing with with one of the top 10 um employers here in california well guess what they looked at her tick tock post it wasn't good because you know one of the ways people are interviewing now that you know they go to to your page they go to your page to see who you really are who you really are so if you're up there doing striptease at three o'clock in the morning and you think that's cute and you're dancing to prince i wouldn't post that on tick tock more or less while someone's trying to interview me take that stuff down they don't need to see that exactly you know what are you thinking and and and why when you put when you're putting in job applications that's when you need to start taking it down because yeah as soon as that goes towards them people will research you i know it happens a lot a lot and when you you know when you're when you're making a video oh this is so cute let me send this out to everybody you have to assume that hmm suppose two million people see this picture of me would you still be okay with that and these are not two million of your friends because you don't have two million friends all right if you want only 10 people to see it just send it to 10 people or let's not send it at all you know think about it tomorrow morning like they don't need to see that you know they say if if there's no photo it didn't happen right right so you gotta you know at least send the photo yeah i mean there's just so many you know gray areas within the social media world you know it's so many great areas because it could be so beneficial for people social media could be a great thing a great um and it is it is you are the ones that can control that but when it starts getting messy and going to the left that's when it just blows up but um you know as sharon was saying earlier you know maybe just don't post it but sometimes i get it i get you you have to share or you just want to share or sharing just makes you feel better so you know but just think about what you're sharing and share the good stuff but we don't need to see all the stuff okay you know i'm serious you know we don't need to see all and everything you know what they say you know you know everybody's business is nobody's business if everybody knows all about you sweetie how do can you even claim it as your business anymore it now belongs to the world we're putting our business out so you know and we have control and we're not crazy and we are mindful mature adults and some things you're just not going to hear now keeping it real and being honest and being authentic amongst our audience which is our sister girls our sisters uh you know yeah i don't have to retract anything because i'm not ashamed of anything i have said on the last 30 episodes some things might not been as funny or whatever you know like they could have lived the rest of their life without hearing that but we are mindful right and and um you guys keep it real and we've already told you we are obligated to keep it real so you know and then you know such a small world in our little and lesbian land it's a small world but we're still part of the world you don't know who knows whom right all right who's listening to who's watching right and so um um i go to uh one of my many doctors but anyway this is i also go to acupuncture well guess what the guy great guy who does my acupuncture he has seen my show one and you know he said you're sharing and rosa conversations he's i can't believe i don't you know so small world small world and how he got there was uh you know through his girlfriend but i'm just saying everyone is connected what they say 16 degrees of separation no it's now two points uh two degrees of separation because of social media has made the world that much smaller yes all right so just be mindful yeah i found family on oh yeah social media she's always looking for family she's got cousins social media works great for me you know but as sharon was saying earlier we can control the drama and we do put we come here every week and we put our business out something new that you all may not have known about us you're probably learning it you know each week because sometimes you know we do repeat but most of the times it is new stuff and the thing about that is is you know like sharon was saying i mean if you come with the truth then you don't even have to have to you know worry about it right we don't have to rehearse you become trying to be somebody else you know wrong or vindictive or something where you're trying to use it for the for not good for a better lack of words um you know similar to member kirk franklin and his son who recorded their video and put it out there and the son is probably thinking everybody's gonna hate kirk franklin because he's a christian man and he's not supposed to be cursing and he's not supposed to act the way he was acting and it blew up in his son's face you know everybody's like your dad's human right and you're a bum and you're right you need to do better and you need to get better and even his mother came on there so you know i think he was using it for as a weapon yeah to get to get back at his thing and it blew up in his face so you got to be careful with that type of thing too because if you put it out there for you know to harm somebody or to you know expose someone you know and i had family member who has done that and um yeah i got a story about a little drama on facebook but this was years ago i had a family member who went to high school with a a young man and i guess he must have just come out as gay or something and she exposed him on on facebook ouch and i called her out on that and she got in my business or don't come for me and blah blah blah i said i'm not coming for you that's not who i am i'm just telling you you were wrong for you know putting the man's business out you're my cousin and i love you so i'm not coming there to come for you right i'm coming to tell you that that was wrong and you know so and she didn't have to do it and she did not definitely because of that you know but it's it's maturity too because of that you know we don't talk to this day and i'm okay with that you know but at the same time it's like it wasn't her place to put somebody's business on social media right if it doesn't pertain to you and you're not in the story if you're not in the story i i would say don't post it if you're not in it then don't post it if you have something to do with it then you have the right to you know put your story out there so as we're saying earlier before you post please think about it and and i or or she could have just asked a young man if that's what's gonna be okay you know but she was doing it to be nasty so people who know us see you know uh and now that spring has sprung and we're all getting hopefully uh underneath this you know away from this horrible uh pandemic um of course people want to socialize more and all that so but everyone knows um even long before i met rosa i love a party i enjoy people if there's 50 people at the party i want to know where the other 10 at because i enjoy i just enjoy the energy of women and just socializing so so again before rosa but i had um it was a wonderful gathering of women wonderful it had to be about about 40 or 50 every women here and everybody was just enjoying themselves well one friend of mine i was well she's an associate toward friendship but she's a high profile lawyer and she is very much gay but she doesn't go out to a lot of social things but that's her stuff not mine she came to the party and she you know you could tell who she was because she had on the big dark sunglasses trying to be unknown right which brought even more attention to herself right you know but the bottom line was and she was saying shannon you know offense but you know i won't be in the pictures because i just rather not know i got a lot of you know public stuff coming up i said no problem but someone took a picture of her and there started the war and you know and i felt responsible because the other person was a guest and they didn't i don't think they meant any harm by you know you know because people who have a camera they just think they have a license to take a picture of any doggone thing they want to all right so i had to respectfully ask my other guest i said can you just delete that you know what i mean because she's a friend and and she said oh okay and she was really okay with it she said well she was at the party i thought she was okay she is okay but she does not want to be filmed at a large lesbian uh gathering in lesbian land led by sharon okay so so i'm saying just being respectful fortunately that my other guest was respectful uh the other lady you know didn't have a pinch but she was just aware like i do not want to be photographed at you know these kind of gatherings boom i'm okay everyone ain't out i know but even when she you know if she had gone to take it down the friend that that posted it somebody else may have shared it by then so it's out there that that's true and really like i said yeah yeah yeah we yeah we missed one we dug the bullet on that one yeah yeah everyone you know because like i said well she shouldn't be at the party if she don't want to be you know photographed but it's not for you to make that decision so right yeah all adults let's be mindful let's be polite so let's uh defer to the kindness of the higher angels and just drop it you know so like i said i know this is 20 21 but guess what everyone doesn't want to be plastered uh on everyone's uh facebook page tomorrow morning at eight in in that bikini that you had no license to wear okay so um another thing at one point i really do want to make it and and my heart goes out to depend who parenting of children um not a great story but again something that happened in san diego this is about about seven eight years ago um parents please be aware of who your children's friends are who they're talking to please aware be aware of parental guidelines and safety tips there was an unhappy event when there was a 13 year old school girl here in san diego and she had been chatting with a young man for several months come to find out the young man was not a young man he was a 25 year old sexual predator he lured the young lady away from home and the mother who was single mother working 2.5 jobs when the cops were asking her can you tell me what your child was wearing she says i have no idea because she gets up you know i'm up i leave for work an hour and a half before she even gets up because that's what you got to do when you got two and a half times single mama struggles i got it right so so that's real okay and when they would so she couldn't even help them to say hey she had on her you know her blue jeans and her favorite red sweater she couldn't even say that well then fortunately they found the young lady with the 25 year old sexual pervert uh he was arrested like i said he lured her away a 13 year old are you kidding she doesn't even have lunch money so here it is you don't know and they have been chatting for months and i don't know what 25 year old man want to talk to 13 year old girls about but i don't think it's the abcs so absolutely so fortunately um you know no additional harm came to the girl they found her you know you know you know reconnected her and her mother but it it could have been different it could have been an incredibly tragic ending to something that happens every day because parents are so busy uh working to so that they can be do some of the parent things like provide a home and things like this and everything so expensive and you know i'm just trying to do good and you're single right you can't catch all the balls in in the outfield you just can't and though it happened to her and i'm sure she's still on her knees thanking god that nothing happened to her daughter but i'm just saying to the parents please be aware please be aware of whom your children are talking to yeah rosa does a really good job of um knowing who you know the teenage daughter is talking to you need to know you need to know who their friends are you need to know why they're so oh i i always got to meet marvin you know who's marvin and how old is marvin you know what does marvin look like oh he's 32 years old but he really does well with children enough said enough uh you probably want to offer something too oh definitely you know um even with my son who you know has like all of 1.5 friends you know what i'm saying and in the five is you know somebody who he's friends with today but not tomorrow but um so his his circle is very very small and very easy to to navigate but you just never know who else is you know because he does game he plays the the game and i think you know when you play in those games you can play with other people that you don't know right and a lot of that starts it because a lot of the predators go towards younger people because they know they're going to be gaming yeah yeah um so that's kind of hard so i i get that but um with my daughter who you know is miss popularity yes you know she has a lot of friends so when she's telling me stories and things that she's doing and i'm like well who are you who's there you know like she was like you know well i'm going to the mall with my friends well which friends which friends are the moment you know i mean i i just normally ask and if i hadn't heard the name before and i'm like well how do you know them they go to your school are they seniors or did it she's like no they didn't go to another school oh well do they chair like i i want to know how i need connections i can find themselves right i always kind of try to drill her without drilling her if you if you understanding you know where i'm coming from with that but you know i mean it's been okay and you know she's just you know that type of daughter that she's okay with telling me stuff but i i know it's got to be hard when you know you don't have that type of relationship with your child yeah with your child and everything is a secret and you know for me i just don't want you know us to have secrets towards each other so i try to be open and honest with her you know and some of that stuff is like hard hard conversations why why is it so hard you know i mean you don't want your children knowing that you know you used to be out there too sexing and you know smoking and whatever you know you want them to think that you're the parent but you know if that stuff comes up you know i but you if she asks i'm gonna tell her and tell the truth yeah and tell the truth i don't bring it up but yeah i'm gonna you know if she asked or my son's asked i'm going to uh be truthful and open and honest with them but that's just my thing i'm not you know telling anybody on here how to parent i'm just saying you know for the sake of what we're talking about today just be mindful of the social media that that your your kids are putting out there and that you are putting out there because most of the time you all setting the standards anyway so if you're putting crazy stuff out there your kids are probably gonna think it's okay for them to put crazy stuff out there you know you don't even know what they've seen that you may have posted you know right so that may be uh you know a conversation just to sit down with your your children and have those conversations and set some boundaries for them not just on facebook or you know social media just in life just uh you know uh no filters no faults no you need some filters yeah and someone and b when i say fault meaning someone has to take responsibility whether it happened or didn't happen do you understand whose fault is this so when you see um children having inappropriate uh relationships with people who are extending their age you know i mean like like i said a 13 year old shouldn't be playing with a 25 year old i don't care if he is my first cousin i mean to a certain degree i'm watching them and you you have to know that it's happening because just being out in the dating world on social media people were lying about their ages as an adult i know i've come in contact with at least three people i can remember off the bat that lied about their age women and women and as we say that just for the record i did not lie about my age no she didn't not at all she wasn't one of them but i'm just saying and i you know and i'm just thinking like why would you want to do that you know what i'm saying like i don't understand but it's the smallest thing especially when the truth is so easy yeah you see because see if you you know and i tell people if you're going to be a liar have a good memory now when you lie all the time and you don't have a good memory you're gonna get messed up so i go very well look i was born in 1955 you do the math enough said okay exactly now if you're not a math wiz you ain't gonna get it oh she gotta be in the 40s and 60s okay exactly no but i'm saying that to say you know i mean we as adults have probably come into contact with people online that you know haven't been beautiful yeah open and honest with you you know and they're trying to make a connection a mature connection so you can only imagine what's out here for for our and people put to spin as they want to like one young lady who was dating a friend of mine uh was saying you know you said well what do you do you know i don't like to talk about my job well i mean come on now we've had free lunches and we've chatted for a month or two what do you do i'm in law enforcement but i really don't want to talk about it by my job we went a little further and said okay you know i could i'm telling you you know where i work and rosa's been clear about where she work or whatever i don't care if you the third shift on you know at home depot i don't get i just asked just to make a connection you're like well what kind of work you do well come to find out the young lady was uh a ticket ticket enforcement traffic enforcer you know a little people walk right around the little bubble you know the little truck law enforcement it is you know but she made she intimated she suggested that perhaps she was a lawyer or she was a special agent with the fbi and she was in law or arresting folks oh recipe yeah exactly so i'm just saying people sometimes we put out what we want you to think exactly you know and you you know you answer the question by not answering the question so that adds some uh mystique to it it doesn't add mistake to me it's making me think that you're getting ready to lie about something what's the big deal you know what i mean if you work at 7-eleven baby there's honor and all work and yes i was trying to date somebody who was working the slurpee machine because i'm not elitist like that because she looked good in that little 7-eleven okay that was me that was years ago okay look so but you know stand on point we just wanted to take a few minutes and talk about uh and keeping it real also you know about this thing with social media um even though we're in the business there's some things there's got to be some things you just won't do or you just won't say or just think about it um sometimes people share some very personal things with us not just by conversations but things that they talk about when we're not filming and you don't know if they're in their hurt locker you don't know if they need to be talking to jesus or they just or they think about this being the last day on earth people sometimes are walking wounded so those kind of conversations no one needs to hear about that but you and that other person you've got to know there's a difference everything that come out comes up does not have to come out to the world so when you are posting those little pictures please have some that no one else needs to see except for you and your sweetie you know like well you know yeah and if you're in the dating world on social media you're getting pictures trust that you're not the only one that's getting that picture oh so you might see that thread going around somebody else so i thought i was special but again social media can can definitely definitely be something that is great and you know if we use it in the right in the right way yeah and not abusing it but we are the ones that can control the mess that could happen on social media so it's how you handle it and sometimes even when you are doing it for great intentions and it backfires it's just how you handle it what you know wilson well said you know they say it intent yeah vice's uh impact you know my intent was to do a good deed and clean up some stuff over here but the impact was you got three good friends who are now not speaking to each other yeah why because i didn't know you were in orlando you really were in hawaii but even even um giving an example with us um we did a series the one we did on um bisexuals a lot of people some of them didn't like it you know and one we you know put our platform out there this is who is on the platform and who we normally talk to yes we have you know men viewers we have bisexual viewers we have international viewers we have viewers from all over so everybody definitely you know have gone through their own journey which is fine and we weren't you know bashing people who were bisexual we were just putting it out there how we felt but it you know for some people they were like no take it down you know this doesn't feel right y'all are this that in the other and it was like it's our view so it's it's you know how we have to handle this now so what are we gonna do are we gonna pop off and go back adam or are we gonna take the mature route and say you know i get that i understand that you have your you know your own your right to your opinion and we thank you for the feedback but we respect your your right to your opinion just respect ours too well said well so that's kind of that give and take with social media if somebody puts something out there it's not for you to just jump off if you don't agree with it you put it in that you don't agree but just be like but i understand you're you know you having your own opinion right and you don't have to comment on everything you know this is just one of those um um times when we just wanted to talk about something else that's going on and that affects us uh social media is here to stay uh we want you not uh you know use it don't abuse it um let it work for you you know because it brings so many people together so much good about it but just like i said but when it gets personal and there's people sending you uh making statements and giving you feedback that you didn't ask for or deserve that's when you might want to back away or that's what the delete button is for okay you know and right but people get so upset about people's responses but you don't have to read them you don't have to accept them and you delete you know and that doesn't mean we can't deal with negative uh statements or anything we can but i'm not gonna let anybody be abusive yeah but but be okay with that too i mean be okay not with the abusive part but okay with people saying something you don't want to hear or you weren't ready because once you put it out you don't know what is coming back right because you don't know where people are you know in their journey so um yeah so with that just be careful yeah out there yeah we're going to try to do the same on our end and we can't guarantee you what we bring to you every week won't blow up in our face but we're going to try this is a calm week here we are again um you know as always we're wishing you the very best of all good things stay safe and stay woke and we hope you all who are celebrating had had a happy easter or happy resurrection day or for those who don't celebrate just hope you had a great day [Laughter] stay safe y'all we love you
2021-04-15 11:44
