Online Steps to Success: Managing Expectations + Comparison in your direct sales business

[Music] okay hi friends hope we're gonna get a double just one second doing all the things hi oh i just did something with my computer that i don't know what am i doing i'm just trying to move this screen it's like i just turned 80 and i can't function technology what's new this is the forever right okay let's see what's going on we're on zoom hi lori okay i am how's your day happy tuesday i'm really glad you're here you have found yourself at online steps to success you're on one of the very last few episodes of our traditional form of online stuff to success don't worry i have really fun things planned i'm going to tell you about it but i am officially getting off of facebook like officially officially like downloading all my pictures and all of my things and all my videos like getting off of it because i want to be that person i'll tell you more in a minute um hi kira live from ohio i'm so glad to catch you live this is super fun so you have found yourself at one of our very last online steps to successes that will ever be on facebook and uh that's sad and exciting it's mostly exciting um i'm going to tell you about all the amazing things that we have planned and coming up in 2022 and how you can stay in the loop and stay connected but first i want to tell you a little bit about what's going on you're not going to miss me lori you're still going to see me i promise you're going to actually see more of me so it's bye bye social media but you're getting way more content in 2022 and i'm very very excited about it i'll tell you more in a minute but i first want to officially welcome you to online steps to success i'm really really glad you're here my name is alison dalke if we have not met or we've never had a chance to virtually meet i'm glad you're here um today is actually my 14-year anniversary can you believe that i was a crazy crazy 23 year old with a baby at home 14 years ago who wanted something different for her life and spent 99 and my life is drastically different to this day and i'm a little emotional about it in a good way and excited hi donna i'm glad that you're getting to catch us live too but i have some fire to bring you because i just i think reflecting today about that decision it was just like golly i can't believe i one i can't imagine what my life would look like without this and and i can't imagine there's just so many things we'll get to it um but like i said been doing this for 14 years and we are um thrilled to still be doing it it is it is i mean honestly it's my life's work if you you know i think any time you do something over a decade that's a big thing and so um i'm excited and i want to share a few things with you but our goal on online steps of success always is to help you dream big work smart change yourself and change the world with your business because i believe with every fiber of my being that that is possible it's something that you can do and i think those four elements of that goal for you are essential i think you've got to be dreaming big there's got to be a huge why pushing you forward you've got to be working smart or you're going to burn out you have to be willing to change who you are um in a good way that's called growth right that's personal growth and that's how we advance in the world not just in business and in relationships and when we grow personally we get to see our leadership grow we get to see our businesses grow and when those things happen and all of those three pieces collide we get to change the world and i want to help you do that even more next year than this year and i'm i'm really excited about that so um i did write some things i'm going to read a few things tonight i i am sort of emotional um and just crazy grateful for that decision that i made 14 years ago and i hope that you're sitting on the other side of this being crazy grateful for the decision you made that you have found yourself running a business and being in this space and and getting to change not only your life but other people's lives with the opportunity that you have um so i have two things that i want to quickly share and then i'm going to give you a big heads up on what's coming in 2022 how are we even talking about 2022 it's amazing um but a big heads up on the things that are coming in 2022 um and what's happening the rest of this year on this platform but first if you know somebody who has struggled with either comparison or missed expectations in their business you need to tag them right now and they need to join us because i have some important things to say about those two topics comparison and expectations and i'm glad you're here to hear them because i think they're relevant to you no matter where you are in your business if it's your first day welcome we're so glad that you're investing in yourself if you've been around for a decade or longer i'm so glad you're here too um these two topics never cease to be relevant and i i'm really excited to talk about them so let's dive in i don't want to take too much of your time you guys know i can talk four hours and i'm not going to i'm going to try not to um a couple things to know i want to do a quick scheduling note so we are going to be live on facebook four more times this year and then we are saying goodbye to facebook um it's a personal decision you're going to hear me talk more about it in the coming weeks it's something i've talked about for a long time i have personally not been on facebook in a couple years now um is it really i don't even know how long it's over a year and a half um and i've had so many people reach out to me and say tell me how you're running your business about social media like i feel like i have to be on i feel like i have to do the things and honestly i felt like that too and i felt like i was constantly creating content and it was a it was a big decision it started with a 30-day i'm gonna step away for 30 days and then it just compounded into more and more and more and i found a lot of rest and a lot of healing and a lot of growth away from all the noise in the world and it was really good for me personally it was good for my family and it was incredible for my business so we're going to talk more about that in the coming weeks so stay tuned because we've got a we've had a ton of requests for like tell us how you got off tell us how you're growing without social media and it's kind of one of those things that really for the past year and a half i've been playing not playing but i've been experimenting and see and like seeing what works for me i don't want to take you someplace i haven't actually been and so i i feel like i'm now as we go into 2022 ready to i feel like i can confidently teach what it is that i've done and talk about the results that i've had and hopefully gear some of you or gear no steer rhyming steer some of you towards where you want to go if that's the direction that you want to take um so that's coming so we have four more online steps after tonight we are not meeting next tuesday i will be live the tuesday after that that's the 16th we're gonna be talking about rest and work and how you can do both well in this business i've had so many people tell me like i i don't know how to do that and i can't do that because how do you ever turn it off and how do you and i know and i get all that so we're going to be talking a lot about rest and work and doing it well that's next that's two weeks from now we're not meeting thanksgiving week but then we're meeting for three weeks in a row so the end of november we will be talking about leading leaders in your business um not only leading leaders but also developing leaders and what that looks like and then december 7th and december 14th i don't have content plans yet well i haven't narrowed it down i have a lot of ideas um but i kind of want to see where those two things go and we'll do two more and then we'll close it out for the year and then coming in 2022 um i have so much planned for you here's a little bit of what we're we're i'm working on shorter video content more of it okay so right now i go live roughly twice a month so we're talking about more on a weekly basis shorter content maybe even more than weekly really targeted towards your busy lifestyle for you to pop on and listen um everything that we communicate will be communicated via email text and on youtube and so those are the main three places that we're going to be and i'm going to give you some information about how you can stay plugged in in just a minute so you don't miss any of that we're also going to have some growth challenges next year that i'm really excited about this is something we've done on my team for a couple years now and i i want to share i want i want to show you like the difference that it makes to challenge yourself to growth what that looks like you'll you'll hear all the details next year there's going to be a lot more leadership content next year um including a mini leadership course um that's going to be free to our email subscribers it's going to be free but we're only going to give it away to our email subscribers and so i'm really really excited about it it's basically the content that i use to walk my new leaders through um getting all of the leadership things what do i do when i promote and now i'm in charge of this team and it's just walking through a leadership course that's what i'm so good at selling things right um we're also going to have more dreamers and doers retreats next year which are our business plus personal growth retreats that are really focused on helping you grow personally so that your business will grow we've seen amazing results from people coming and pushing through some roadblocks that they were having either in their mind or their hearts or lives that they were believing or all sorts of things and and seeing the growth that that's had so that's going to be happening in 2022 we only had one of those this year and it just was not enough for me yeah we only have one yeah that's not enough um we will have a lot more content probably of course long long term on growing your business outside of social media or growing it in addition to social media because so many of you would say well i don't want to get off social media and that's fine if you want to i'm not like i am not the person standing up telling you to get off social media that's not it but if you want to learn ways to grow um in different ways outside of social media we're going to have a ton more content around that that is focused on text marketing focused on email marketing and the correct ways to do those things the results that work um so many tools to share with you so there'll be more of that um we are going to have some video series featuring some of you you guys i've learned more from you in the past i don't even know how long we've been doing this a very long time i've learned more from you that i'm sure you have learned from me and so i want to keep bringing you on and sharing you will do those in miniseries over on youtube and so that's going to be really really fun um and we are even gonna have an opportunity next year for close-knit community and accountability um within sort of our little hub of those of you wanting to dream big work smart change yourself and change the world and so um that's i'm just excited i'm excited about all of it uh it's gonna be fun that's kind of what you can expect coming next year so questions comments concerns are we doing okay my nails aren't painted today it's not a tragedy but you know okay how do you stay connected so i am going to post a link here's the deal when we get off social we're going to be off social and so you're going to if you want to stay connected um i've got a let me post it let's just post it right now so that it's done um i have an opportunity for you to okay so there's a lot of things about email marketing that you need to know one of them is you can't just email people it's actually federal regulation and so when you use a third party email service you have to get permission and so the link i'm posting right now is basically an opt-in form for giving me permission to email you i am not going to spam you i have nothing to sell you like none of that it is just that we want to provide opportunity for growth that is where we are in our business that it's what i love seeing happen as i love watching women realize this crazy dream that they have for their life and then use this business to chase it and so we just want to provide you tools and create space for you to do that and so when you join that email list um you'll start to hear from me actually probably not for a couple weeks but because we're really like honing in on content for the end of this year but then we'll be emailing and making sure that you know how to stay plugged in you'll know when our upcoming broadcasts are when we have a short mini series when we have um quick um mini courses all you will know all the things you'll know when we have retreats all the stuff so if you want to stay in the loop click that link and subscribe and um we'll go from there i literally just made that today so there is not like a great welcome email when you come in but long term you'll get good information for me all right so i told you we were gonna talk about comparison expectations let's dive in to talking about expectations so i'm going to leave you tonight with something tactical and practical that i want you to do tactical remember it's both i was like what's really the difference between tactical and pride okay both it's both and um this is something that i want you to do tonight it's something i want you to do with your teams it's a conversation that i want you to have internally and externally so with yourself and with other people around you all right so let's talk expectations so there are two types of expectations in your business there are your expectations expectations you have and then there are other people's expectations right and those expectations can be high or low we can have high expectations of ourselves or we can have low expectations of ourselves somebody else can have high expectations of us where someone else can have low expectations of us so here's a question for you whose expectations are you working towards whose expectations are you working towards because here's something that i want you to really kind of wrap your brain around we rise to the level of our expectations and you could insert our expectations or other people's expectations we rise to the level of the expectations that are set for us so i'm asking you tonight who is setting the expectation for you is it you or is it someone else now you might not know the answer to this question like off the top of your head um it might you might have to sit and think like i don't know like are the expectations that i'm attempting to meet are they mine are they someone else's now here's the thing it's not bad if there's someone else's if those people have high expectations for you but what if they have low expectations for you what if you have low expectations of yourself now what i have found is a lot of times people don't even realize they're not consciously thinking about the expectations that they have for themselves or for other people because remember if someone else can have an expectation of you that means you have expectations of other people your team members your hosts your customers are they high expectations or are they low so think about whose expectations you are rising didn't mean to me are they yours are they someone else's and are they high or are they low because you are going to rise to the level of your expectations okay why why am i bringing this up so i want you i really want you to spend some time thinking about that and like i said this might be something that you need to process that's okay it's good processing is good but part of the reason is because a lot of times our expectations whether they're set by us or set by somebody else come from what we see happening around us now we see a lot of things and seeing is not bad but unfortunately sometimes the seeing can turn into comparing and when we start to compare ourselves to other people the expectations we set for ourselves lower when we start to compare ourselves to other people the expectations we have for ourselves begin to lower why is that so anytime that i compare my worst week to your very best week i'm lowering my expectations it's taking away a little bit of the belief in what i am capable of because i'm now not comparing myself to myself which is the only thing i have to compare to but i'm not comparing myself to you and what you've accomplished or what you've done or what you're struggling with or what you're walking through and here's the thing i'm never gonna know all those things about you am i i may know what you choose to share i may see that there's something you're battling i may see that there's something you're walking through but you're never ever gonna truly know what somebody else is walking through right that old saying if like you don't know somebody until you walk them all in their shoes right but we compare i was just having this conversation with my team yesterday we look at somebody else and say well that's where they are that's where i should be you know what that does is it lowers our expectation of ourselves it basically puts shame over what we have or have not done and says we're not good enough well that's a lie and it's not truth and it's not a fair comparison it's like saying this is an apple this is an orange they should be exactly the same they're both fruit they're not exactly the same they're incredibly different they're made of different things from different places with different experiences one came from mexico one came from costa rica i don't know where fruit comes from um they've had entirely different experiences i cannot compare them to each other right but when i do and i say well the banana's looking nice and ripe today that apple's a little bruised i picked the banana it doesn't mean the banana is better than the apple it means they've had different experiences and what happens when we do that is we lower the expectation we have for ourselves so who's expectation are you working towards what is it that you're believing about yourself about what you're capable of if i were to truth serum you and you were to tell me allison i'm not like in the best place there are things that i wish were different about my business yes i struggle with comparison guess what we all do um if we were to have that conversation i can almost guarantee you that we could get to the bottom of there being something about what you believe is possible what you believe you're capable of what you believe is possible through your business comparison kills expectations but we rise to the level of our expectations so expectations matter so i want you to think about this right now when you set goals or tasks for the week and you say this is what i want to do or you're setting your goal right now you're setting your goal for november it's the beginning of the month what do i want to accomplish where are your expectations are you expecting to achieve the things that you're setting your goal for or are you kind of believing that you don't have what it takes because that's a low expectation it's not a high one sometimes we simply have to realign our expectations to kill comparison and create momentum maybe that's what you need to do tonight is realign re-examine your expectations so you can kill comparison and build momentum because that's what everybody needs we all need momentum whatever you believe you're going to achieve you are your only competition and you are the only thing that you can compare yourself to you are so much more than capable of doing whatever you want to do in this business as bob goff says you have immeasurable untapped potential you know why it's untapped because your expectations of who you are and what you're capable of are low i don't like untapped potential i don't like it staying untapped i like that you have it but i don't like it staying untapped i want you to untap it pull the cork out let's see what happens when you decide to raise the bar when you decide to raise your expectations this is not just about you either this is about your team this is about your customers this is about your hosts when someone gets on a coaching call with me and tells me that parties are dead or that people don't want to host or whatever whatever whatever that's that's not an actual problem that's a missed expectation that means you have a low expectation of your potential hosts right what about your team members when they're not promoting when they're not building their team when they're not doing what you want them to do not because you want them to do it because you want them to be successful when they're not doing those things what does it lead back to what's your expectation are you believing in people are you believing in yourself i don't think some of you have a sales problem or recruiting problem or team building problem or leadership problem i think some of you have a belief problem it's about what you believe is possible and here's the sticky and tricky part if you're watching someone else do it and you're comparing yourself to them you and your brain know that it's possible because you're seeing them do it but there's a lack of connection to what you actually believe right so what are you believing where are the expectations here's my challenge to you tonight and we're going to wrap up and then as we wrap up i want to briefly at the end we're going to i'll recap real quickly what's happening next year how you can stay plugged in but i want to challenge you tonight as you're setting or resetting your goals we have two months left in this year what are your expectations what are your expectations for what you're going to achieve for the people around you for your customers for your hosts for your team members belief has to start somewhere i think one of the greatest gifts in this business and if this hasn't happened to you yet this is what i want to happen to you in the next 60 days i want you to be able to send me a message respond to my email and say that happened to me one of the greatest gifts in this business is you seeing something in someone that they do not yet see in themselves what if you were the one to raise the expectation what if you were the one to bring the belief it has to start somewhere is it going to start with you when we believe in other people when we see things in them that they do not yet see that's what changes lives that's what changes the world and you have the power to do that you on the other side of phone or computer or whatever you're watching on you have the power to literally change somebody's life that's real the question is do you believe it and will you rise to the occasion will you raise the bar on your expectations i want to see you do more in the next two months than you've done before not because you need to hustle not because you need to achieve more but because you have more in you there is more inside you than you know and whatever current roadblock you're facing if it's getting host if it's getting sales if it's getting recruits if it's building leaders look at your expectation look at what you're believing and look at who you're comparing yourself to stop comparing and change your expectation be the believer what's it going to hurt to believe in someone it is the greatest gift to be able to look at somebody and say i see this in you i know that you can do this and i'm going to be here every step of the way i truly love you guys and it's a gift and an honor to sit with you and for you to show up and hear my crazy words um on a day that is important and significant and symbolic because it was the day that started to raise the expectation for me when i started to raise the expectation on my life when i looked at my baby girl who was nine months old and i decided i wanted something different i loved my job and i loved teaching and i still get to be a teacher which is the coolest thing ever but not how i had imagined in a different way that's that's that has given so much meaning and value and joy and peace and purpose to my life and it's the greatest gift and friend wherever you are you're in my shoes because you have the same opportunity to believe in yourself and then to believe in other people do you guys see my puppy he's a golden doodle and he sleeps only on his back it's sweet you can't see his face there's a face oh i love you guys um i hope this is helpful you know as we close i want to say this i actually had a really great conversation with melissa gratz the other day she interviewed me for um a youtube series that she's doing and she is a dear parent autumn are our dear dear friends and just one of those relationships that has been built from something that i never i mean how do i have a friend that lives in michigan that i love and trust and we could not talk for six months and then we get on the phone or we're sitting face to face and i what a gift right like and there's so many relationships like that but we got we uh she got me on on zoom the other day and we were talking and we were talking about comparison and it is so funny how it is not comparison it has zero what's the word i'm looking for what am i trying to say oh it has no prejudice it doesn't matter who you are or how successful you've been or what you've achieved it will come after you because it attempts to tell you that you are not worthy that you are not good enough that you are not relevant that you don't have something to say and what a lie that is because again that would be like comparing me to someone else and to say that both of our stories and both of our experiences and the way that we lead which might be different or similar to say that those are both not worthy and valuable is bonkers right when we choose to say there is enough space for all of us there is a place of abundance we don't have to worry about comparison right because we can choose to change our own expectations based on us not on other people so if you've battled or are battling comparison friend you are not alone you are in great company but you don't have to sit there and live there be the believer be the one who believes in somebody else first be the one who sees something in somebody that they have not yet seen in themselves and then set high expectations for them they will rise they will rise it doesn't matter how small the spark is if there is a spark grab a hold of it and believe and do the same thing for yourself if you're in a culture or surrounded by people or family or friends who do not have high expectations of you you don't have to sink to their expectations you can choose to rise to your own but to do that you have to set the bar you have to choose what it's going to look like for you um i always say that i'm glad that i was young enough and stupid enough to not be afraid when i joined this business i was afraid i was worried about what people would think but but i was so in love with this baby and this idea of being home with her and honestly i was in love with the idea of working hard and then being acknowledged and rewarded for that work because i was frustrated in the classroom where it didn't matter how good of a teacher i was it didn't matter if i taught poetry with dave matthews band and i was made them learn the lyrics dance marching didn't matter because whether i was good or not i got paid the same amount of money it was frustrating to me i wanted to work towards something more i wanted to achieve something i wanted to have a goal that i could reach and this business gave me that and i look back at that and i think about those things about just that hunger i had to say i want want something different and i'm going to raise the expectation on my life and on my belief in myself and i'm going to do this and i just got angry enough honestly there's a lot of anger in here like i don't know if you always see it but there is it comes out sometimes that's why i have to run and it's everything's fine um but i was just angry enough to be passionate enough to say i'm i'm doing this it was an expectation raise the bar you can do the same thing and here's the deal maybe your bar's been set low for a long time and maybe you're just now seeing it and you're like huh no wonder i haven't done x y and z the bar's been down here x y and zero up here guess what you can raise it you can choose to set the expectation higher it's up to you and you alone but if you're surrounded with people that have low expectations you do not sink to theirs rise to your own they don't have to believe yet but when they start to see you they will be the believer believe in yourself believe in the expectations you have set for yourself believe in somebody else that's all i got for tonight i love you guys i i am you guys i told you four more online steps on facebook and then i know half of you are only here because this popped up on your live thing and it told you i was live and so then you came over here if you want to stay in the link we are going to be communicating starting in 2020 through youtube email and text and if you want to be in the loop hang out with us i'm i'm incredibly honored and blessed that the space that my business is now that we get to sit in a space where we just get to teach people everything that we've learned the good the bad the ugly the mistakes and we're still learning still learning um and more than anything we just want to create space for you to grow and if i'm going to create that space for my team and for my leaders i might as well share the wealth and create that space for you too it doesn't take me any more energy to send an email to a thousand or three hundred it's the same right so why not um i'm just my why has definitely changed it is in a different place and it is now where i just really want to see you chase your wildest dreams with this business because i do believe that it is 100 possible for you to achieve whatever you want to achieve but you can subscribe on that link if you want to be in the loop we'll do four more lives on facebook and then it is sayonara and there are people who have told us we are crazy and that's fine i love being crazy i love you guys i'm super thankful for you uh brittany we need to talk i'm writing your name down right now i'm meant to text you today okay let's chat tomorrow or let's connect tomorrow you know what i mean okay love y'all have a great week be the believer

2021-11-06 17:51

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