Interview with Carolyn Westlake business success Sept 2021

all right okay we are here we're here we're here oh my god i did it [Music] technology holy heck so it is so funny so hello everybody and uh yeah you're just privy to this moment of me having a breakthrough in dealing with technology because uh it's so funny it's so not my forte and then when something goes a glitch uh i'm like oh my god it's ruined and you know and uh so yeah really funny how no matter how much you do this work sometimes it can take one little thing and you're like yeah you know um yeah yeah but i tell you i'm like i'm right back i'm right back i'm not gone for half a day snarling so here we are and uh i am so excited to have carolyn here and get to interview her so um i want to welcome everybody who's here live and who's coming who's been waiting for this interview and so if you are here watching uh carolyn and i i'm wearing these so i can actually read the technology um and uh you know you're here listening to the interview then just type in the comments and uh let us know you know where you're coming in from i love to know that uh oftentimes we've got the whole world here at uh at different times and so and also to type in any questions you've got because uh when i've got questions here for for carolyn and any questions you've had i've gathered and so if you've got more questions we'll go in and answer them afterwards for sure so uh firstly carolyn would you just like to introduce yourself and then i'll say a little bit more about what we're going to talk about sure well i am a health and wellness coach that is my primary business i do that as on a full-time basis i am a mom of two boys um the eldest is 20 in his second year of university and then my youngest is 16 and he plays competitive sports so we have busy busy lifestyles going on um and i am recently um i i can't quite say divorce but close to being divorced and settled with um fairly acrimonious family law matter and um in the last uh year in particular i have um really made some significant changes in my family life and in my emotional life and in my business life and so that's what i'm here to talk about um with all of you tonight yeah so i'm really excited about that and it was actually it was from a conversation that you and i were having carolyn and uh because you're in the mastermind program now and you were sharing some of the results that you were uh producing in your business and i thought oh my gosh we have to share this because there are so many people who they're in the same place you were in not too long ago people who are you know maybe they've just started out on a business and they you know they're working really hard and they're just not getting some results that they want or you know they're just lacking all this confidence or they feel like they're kind of like all over the place not really clear not focused uh but really the results just are not showing up and uh and you know so it's i just thought people really could uh benefit from what you have to share on that so yeah so uh so how about if we how about if we start off from where maybe where things started and maybe just go from there because i mean just looking at you people can tell and you're gorgeous and you know you're in your aura is just through you know so clearly you know you are a woman who is accomplishing you know stuff that you really want to accomplish that's important to you right thank you yeah so i guess to to go back i um i was married uh for 27 years and um from all accounts from all appearances things looked like it was wonderful life um and i was really good at playing um yeah the facade keeping the facade going and making things look as though everything was perfect when it wasn't and it was anything but and so a year ago really was the sort of the catalyst to it all um i had really been required to get myself and the boys out of our family home um with two boys that didn't want to leave that was the first struggle and then just trying to find where we were going what we were going to do through covet as well and really not having any real family or even a lot of people around help me so it just it had challenges coupled one after the other um and then when i we did finally move and the challenges that all presented um my there was a real breakdown with the relationship with my youngest son and and he became um estranged from me and that was really that was the the straw that broke the camel's back for me um and i was really broken so when i when i reached out to you back a year ago well last july i was a really broken woman i am i felt quite defeated in um in my relationship with my ex-husband in my family life um my i had worked for 30 years in a government uh job that um i found out one day uh that that job is no longer available for me and at the age of 50 trying to reinvent myself or trying to replace an income that i had secured after 30 years was not easy to do and i spent really last year looking for jobs on top of trying to run my business and being faced but no one was even making calling me on um any applications that i that i applied oh my god i just want to speak to something there carolyn uh you know because so there you were so you're going through this uh separation this divorce uh your boys uh who i know you love they're estranging themselves from you you get laid off and at 50 right so it's also you know we're not 30 years old anymore right and so clearly there's a lot going on in your life and that's affecting how you feel for sure um and we don't always realize though you know you said it in the beginning you were good at putting on a facade so it's like all of this stuff is just getting covered up and you know you're going through a hard time but you don't realize really how bad it is and you're just kind of yeah you know like i'm strong or you know i can do this or you know we just kind of keep pushing through and you know and so i just want to uh you know just i just wanted to point that out because you i mean we connected right so that was and you knew you were looking for something but you didn't know what and that's when i shared with you about the woman beat your drum program and so you know you could and luckily we'd met as well which was really nice in person right you know uh but just hearing about it that's you know that's when you knew yes knew something yeah and it really was i was and as we've learned and i my work with you in this last year there's a switch in my brain and so when i have an understanding of the the science behind it that makes i need that little bit of a check mark to say okay i'm on the right track and so i knew that with the neuro-linguistic programming that what you were doing was fit within what i needed i knew that was the path i was needing to take and yes i and i had had coaching in the past um and i had had bad experiences in coaching so when you came along it was yes i had met you and we had had a connection but it also there was more to it i felt there was a sense of um security but also i could tell that you were quite um um professional and that was different that in other people that i had been working with there's because there's a lot of coaches now available and um you just you have and i've been i have been taken um so i knew it enough i had a little bit of an experience that i knew that that wasn't you and i felt i knew enough from the science background to know that this was where it was needing to go it was facilitating and and calling out my name more so than than others um at that time right okay and so let's talk about business okay and uh and just before we do so i just want to if uh so if you are just joining us live here hello i'm so glad that you uh that you made it uh we almost didn't make it in with uh some technical glitches but uh we're here so please put in the comments say hello and let us know too uh where you are coming in from so yeah great just great to know that and any questions you've got uh you know for us just please put them in the comments and we'll make sure we get to them um afterwards so carolyn coming back to business so when you then registered in the woman beat your drum program what were the business so i knew that i know that there was personal stuff you wanted but what were the business uh goals that you wanted to reach well i needed to replace a good income that was so i had i had been working at my um health and wellness business as an as a side business really as a hobby in the last few years of my corporate job and so i and that's really what i had been wanting to do anyway so perhaps divine timing or blessings that come upon us um that gave me that push to then do this business on a full-time basis that first year though i was so immersed in such yuck i don't know how else to really say it but just the emotional stuff and really of getting us out of that house and doing you know just all of that and and also having to fight with uh um an adversary as well that was real was really difficult so i wasn't able to give the proper focus to my business at that time either um but when last july came and and my the loss of my relationship with my youngest son i just knew i needed to make changes like i knew that i had what i was doing was no longer serving me and i needed to turn i need to make a living for myself and i knew i had the potential with my business and it was i now needed to know how to make that happen and so it was really i i was prepared to make those put some things in place to make me excel and and push my business through and start to look after me was really was really it look after me from an emotional aspect but also start to look after me financially yeah and to be able to provide for myself so i don't need anyone um to do that for me and and so that's that's actually really pretty big so you know to so you wanted to uh you wanted to earn a decent living to support yourself from your business and that had been like a side kick right for a while so it was a hobby and so there you were uh you know with not really a lot of clients not really a lot of clarity because it had been a hobby and you when you play at these things it's you don't really learn yeah okay so so so you wanted to then really start your business you knew you needed to get clients you know you needed to get cash flow but okay so tell me then what were the things that uh i don't know what were the things that started to shift or what insights did you have that started to contribute to the business results that you got i think in general i would say i became vulnerable i i showed up i showed up for those meetings and admitted and and let the facade down i there was no pretense anymore oh i gotta ask about that one because i can also hear you know because i know some of the women watching this like they want to know because they want to excel at businesses or uh you know they want to start businesses and they're like what the first thing is be vulnerable you're kidding yeah so what were the like were there any thoughts or fears that you had in your mind about doing that before like what did you break through that so my big thing is always plain small just being not too i've always been mindful of those around me and uh you know i have dim my light to not to not draw attention away from others and i realized in doing that i was i was showing my boys in particular that i didn't matter that was that was i think the biggest wake-up call you gave me was when you said when i couldn't even show up to do my activation breath in the morning and you said to me you tell me you love your boys but how can you love your boys if you don't even love yourself to wake up and and spend two minutes of time on yourself was like whoa whoa so there were things like that that were really and whether that's that switch in my brain that is just that thing that says okay at that's i've got to start showing up and that was the big showing up showing up for me yeah so let's just pau i got chills on that as you're sharing that caroline and uh you know just so that people listening can actually really get that you know and get the link of you know like if you if you can't even do like a particular meditation exercise for yourself then how can you give how can you so but if you can actually share what was what was the connection in that for you i what i thought i had been doing for 20 years of my children's lives giving and giving and giving and making myself second or third or fourth i didn't realize what i was showing them in that um and that i didn't matter and unfortunately i mattered enough that it i i it hadn't completely eroded but it was pretty well eroded and enough to cause the estrangement with my youngest son got it so let's see one of the things that we often don't think about is it it's our children learn by watching us it's not by really what we say it's by what we do and yeah that's right so when so they see you not taking care of yourself they see you putting yourself you know second third fourth last and that they learn that they don't matter as well well interesting it's that same son that said to me about three years ago if someone spoke to me mom the way you were just spoken to i'd never speak to them again and that too has never left me and and it actually was permission to me that i needed to get out i need you know and and that's so as harsh as those times can be to face those and hear those words we sometimes need those as a wake-up call [Music] wow so then there you were you uh had this realization that you uh you were treating yourself like you didn't matter and that was also the source of your uh coming apart your estrangement with your younger son yeah okay so then how so what happened next how did this then translate into uh your business results i started to so the daily practices i would say were the the biggest things so showing up every morning and doing the work and so doing this work was was working on me and i had i had some difficulty with that in correlating that that's really self-care that that whole aspect and the self-care was a big a big thing for me because i really hadn't done it in 20 years like i just you know i started out being a mom thinking oh i would have you know make sure i'd have the coffee dates with my friends and i do all these things to make me all well and good but over 20 years those things can erode if you're not very conscious about making sure you're doing all those things for yourself and and i did let it go i i wasn't i didn't continue to be mindful of that of my own own needs during that um so that was coming back and just starting to do the daily work and by doing that i was showing up in my business more daily consistently and doing those so it's like you're not you're not here one day and back a couple you know in a couple of days after that um which is what really a hobby is right you come in and out of it whereas if you're doing a business you show up every day and you do your work and so that was a big i just started to show up every day for myself personally with the work with you and then the trickle-down effect was i start to feel better about myself i start to have more courage i start to want to use my voice i want to share that with others i speak more vulnerable like from a level of vulnerability more so i'm the first to say been there done that because i i really you know i i'm probably the first to say all those things i said i'd never do i've done like the that's me but i've learned a lot from that and and it really was i just i just really started to show up for me and those around me could see it and what really started to happen was those above me in my organization started to notice it and so in in the company i'm in um it doesn't happen very often that you would be moved within the organization but someone from above made put my name forward to be moved within the organization which elevates me quite significantly and could obviously see my leadership skills starting to take take hold and um just by them giving me that added encouragement or that little pat on the back it's just continue to make me start to go so it's it it the little that daily grind really every day working on yourself working on um doing the little little habits have a snowball effect and um and so now clients really do come to me quite um i try and stay in a very a higher vibration my i do a lot of play time that may sound really quite hokey for some people but i really the happier i am and the better um i feel the more business i attract and and then and my business is a health and wellness company so i'm making myself healthy and in the process able to do that for others and i think they see it you know people are really seeing that that i i'm a testament to the walk i walk and um that it just is opening doors and opening opening myself to the people that need to hear me or i need to help um and so it's it's it's i can't say it's been easy there's been a lot of times that have been you know that faced up with i think i'm you know i've gone one step forward and 10 steps back but you're with your stage you know advice and and wisdom is always there to help us realize that when we face up against these barriers what we think we're falling backwards is really just another test of our comfort zone in us to continue to push through that and so really just keep kicking out that can and and you know the dent more dense it gets the prettier i really become but it really does it's it's really it has you know i think just me showing up for myself every day just tells me i'm worth it right and you start your day telling yourself you're worth it you start to tell everybody else you're worth it yeah and people want to hang out with somebody who believes they're worth it right because you feel better too yeah and i would say like my my energy around people i know that people like to be around me because i do i exist in that happier um vibration i don't i don't know how energy really um you know there's a lot we can really get stuck in the mud um and there's a lot of muck in in the world right now so i i i know if i go back there i'm it's going to take me down a rabbit hole that i i've been there and i'm not going back so for for me it's really just staying in in a place of love and where i really am helping others yeah but helping myself at the same time like it really feels good for me and me and you know the business i'm in that's the the the give and take is so lovely because i'm helping i'm helping others and so it doesn't feel like working any any ounce of it yeah it's it really is that you feel like you're you're serving and serving for a higher good so that's fantastic i i think that it's just so amazing because just that one simple thing showing up for yourself not showing up for someone else not showing up for your business like as a separate thing showing up for yourself so essentially so let's just kind of you know like pop that one a little bit and so when you're not showing up for yourself oh and by the way just people who are just popping in now if you're coming in and joining us live please say hello put something in the comments and let us know where you're coming in from any questions you've got also please let us know so uh yeah carolyn and i can come in afterwards and respond to your questions so um so i'm just uh you know reflecting on that key thing when you start showing up for yourself so when you don't show up for yourself right so you were doing things uh you know like well actually what did you say so when you weren't showing up for yourself just maybe give some examples of what that looks like not showing up for yourself and then how that translates then into your business so people can actually see some of the habits that they might have so that they can start making some connections right so for me i i the routine of doing my uh activation work my breath work first thing in the morning before my feet hit the ground is necessary for me and so what i'm also doing is saying i'm putting me first before anything to the start of the day the days i don't do it because there are days i can wake up and i just can't do it today it is and as little amount of time it takes on those days as silly as it sounds because i still have them i don't feel quite as grounded or aligned in my day and so it really just helps to just like i use some of my health and wellness products it helps me get on my feet properly stabilizes me for the day and i didn't realize and i would if you had asked me a year ago about that whole thing i was come on let's see how can that be but it it is it really is and yeah and and what that looks like too is uh when when we don't realize that showing up for ourself is so important uh then uh and i i i can recall you know you sharing things like uh oh uh you know the you would do some of the assignments and then some of them you wouldn't do and you'd get busy right life is busy and then you know in regards to your business you knew uh well you probably should be doing you know taking some action but you didn't feel like it or um you know girlfriend called for coffee and you would go out for coffee instead and then you'd come back and then you'd feel bad because you knew you probably should be reaching out to some clients but you weren't quite sure exactly you know well yeah but what are you going to say and you know so it it's it's like that it translates doesn't it it really does and and a lot of that work was me finding my my my own courage and my own confidence so within that because i was so broken and i had you know i i mean not to lay blame on on my ex and i was a player in it so you know i was accountable for for a lot of that dance and and it was a narcissist and an empath dancing and so i could sit here and say you know i'm the victim but that's not going to do me any good and so i knew i knew i needed like i drew i drew a lot of that in i drew those energies into me a lot of the things that were happening were things i was creating and allowing to happen and so i needed to i needed to make those changes for me um and so that by doing it and and really doing just those simple exercises in the morning would allow me to then get on with my day i then go into an exercise program for my my customers that i offer and then i go and have a nice walk with my dog and then i'm energized to come back and start my work and then you know so it just it fits into place in a nice routine and just keeps things moving um and i know the days i don't do it i'm not i flounder i don't have the same discipline in my opinion beautiful yeah so it really is so that's the key is the uh you know from what you're sharing is that you show up for yourself and when you start showing up for yourself and you know for you it was doing those practices then you started naturally feeling more confident you started naturally trusting yourself and that in of itself meant you were speaking out more meant you were showing up and being more consistent in your business and you know bang bang bang and so now customers just are oh my god that's just so inspiring and you mentioned something earlier and then i didn't follow it through so uh just before we finish up i want to ask you this you said one of the first things that you did is that you started to become vulnerable yes and so being vulnerable how did that help you in your business um by by by saying by admitting that i had these weaknesses or and i don't know i i hate i'm not wanting to use that word but things that i needed to work on um it was acknowledging that i needed that help and acknowledging that i had those issues was freeing because i learned that so many others of us have those have similar issues and what you taught me was that no matter how good intention or parent parents are things happen to us in the formative years and those things stick with us until we change those and so that was really it was freeing to know that my my bringing my growing up wasn't so horrible or wasn't like i wasn't really no different than a lot of everyone else um and i think it really just allowed me to acknowledge those things and then to help deal with them and and release a lot of those things along the way but i think it was really the the story my dog is asking for attention um it really i think was just me acknowledging that i am i have these flaws i have these things that need to be fixed and um and by doing that i realized i wasn't alone either in that so my vulnerability opened up others and and it allowed me to open up more seeing that i was i i was as vulnerable had these vulnerabilities like everyone else beautiful because that's also i mean that's how we attract our clients is because they relate with our story because they don't have to put on a mask or pretend to be somebody else they can be real and they want to be with someone else who's real right yeah wow okay so just to finish up if somebody uh came to you now who is in a similar place to where you've been and they say to you you know they want to achieve what you've achieved uh you know they're lacking in self-belief and confidence and all of that what would you tell them now believe would be my first thing believe in yourself and if not you then who big one it's time we all have a purpose we all need it we have a duty to find out that purpose and and shine it shine that light for ourselves and for others because you're we're a beacon for someone else and um there's we're not doing anyone any good playing small we're really just we're not serving ourselves and we're not serving those around us so it's time to show up and and stand tall and proud wow that is so inspiring carolyn thank you thank you thank you for your time thank you for your wisdom and thank you for your courage your courage to be vulnerable and uh and and expose your life and you know what you've been through and i'm sure a lot of people can relate with that so so thank you so much well thank you thank you for giving me the platform to share that you're welcome and uh and thank you to those of you who are watching if you're watching the replay or if you're here live please write in where you are coming in from and we're just finishing up now so make sure you go back and watch from the beginning because this has just been an amazing story so thank you for your interest your curiosity and there's some been some great wisdom and good tips shared here so have a wonderful rest of the day everyone carolyn thank you stay tuned all right sending love to you all

2021-09-25 04:57

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