How to Develop Confidence as a Business Owner
the best entrepreneurs that i know are forever students i don't know man if you know anybody who says that they know everything about anything i'm probably going to tell you you might not want to learn from that person that's just my opinion okay my favorite teachers my favorite anybody is a forever student hello hello everyone what's up and welcome back today i want to talk about building confidence as a business owner which is something that pretty much all of us should probably be concerned with it can be hard it can be hard when you're feeling low energy it can be hard when you're feeling not so knowledgeable or not like the smartest person in the world it can be hard when you're not super sure of your capabilities yet it can be hard to be confident as a business owner if you're in an underrepresented group and you're not seeing people who look like you who are doing this i've been there i am there i'm actually at the time of recording this experiencing a little bit of self-doubt low confidence right now in myself so it definitely happens to all of us and i want to talk about some of the ways that we can build it up and get out of those funks so the first thing that i'm going to challenge you everyone who's listening to do is to stop apologizing so much understand that you are human that you are here for a reason here as in in your role whether that's a role with the clients or a role on line as a content creator whatever it is that you do you're here for a reason there are people who value you you do not have to apologize 25 times a day and this is hard for me okay i am a people pleaser i am a midwesterner i am an american right we all have these kind of stereotypes of being overly accommodating sometimes i can be that way to a fault for sure and a good example that i'll give of this is zoom calls okay for the longest time especially 2020 as we're all working from home if i would get on a zoom call a minute late i'd be like oh my gosh i'm so sorry that i'm late versus if that happens to me now the confident way to address that the confident way to apologize is to say hey thanks so much for waiting i had a call that ran over sorry about that or hey thanks so much for waiting my ear pods were being annoying lol um it's not that serious a minute is not that serious now you of course need to apologize like be a respectful polite person if i was making somebody wait 10 or 15 minutes i would definitely apologize or just ask to reschedule the meeting but there is a point where apologizing can look insecure and can be insecure again you are just as worthy of being here you are just as worthy of having life happen right having traffic happen having another call run over having your earpods mess up you don't need to apologize for that and what it does is it can make you look like you are not that confident and if maybe i am you know it's somebody who i'm thinking about hiring or a business acquaintance or networking person or whatever i might look at that as like they're not super sure of themselves you know so that's my challenge to you is stop apologizing so much and also just like think about all the rude people and the rude things that you've experienced in your life that has never gotten an apology i always think about that i'm like wow that person just like sent a rude email but whatever you know that can help me sometimes in a weird way the next challenge that i'm going to give you is i want you to say no a little bit more this is something that i've certainly struggled with i would say yes to every single ask hey can you come talk to my kid who wants to be in social media like sure why not hey could i just pick your brain let's meet up for coffee on the other side of the city that you have to drive to and i might buy you one but maybe not i'll still come you know all of those things are annoying first and people should stop asking for free work of course but number two you saying yes to things that minimize your value signals to people that you're not actually worth what you're asking if if i'll give advice to somebody for free for the cost of a starbucks then why would they really need to buy one of my courses or pay for my coaching or you know even sit down and dedicate 20 minutes to watching a youtube video if they can't do that i mean that's pretty bad and i've been giving it away and just saying oh don't even worry about it that devalues my work so saying no is a form of confidence it's showing that you are proud of the work that you do that the work that you do is worth what you charge it's worth charging in general and i also think that it's one of those things where you know people treat you how you tell them that they can treat you if you make it a habit to just recap every one of your youtube videos in an instagram dm because yes this is a thing that happens people will dm me and say like oh i didn't watch that what was the answer again if you can't dedicate 20 minutes to my youtube video i'm not gonna do that and if you keep doing it it tells them that that's okay and that that's what you're there for and that you're so desperate for followers you know clients whatever it is whatever the situation is even in your personal life this can be true that you know you're not confident and you're just desperate this is kind of starting to feel like a therapy session i'm going to be honest um feeling a little vulnerable because these are all things that i have really struggled with in my life personally professionally all of that and this third one is particularly so it's negative self-talk i don't know where this came from because nobody like my family my parents my mom my dad they were always like the opposite to be honest you know they always told me they loved me they always told me that they thought i was beautiful like they were always very the opposite of negative self-talk and i'm very grateful for that love you mom if you're watching um but for some reason ever since i was a kid i would do the opposite to myself i would say oh my gosh latasha you're so stupid oh my gosh you look a mess you know i've even said it on vlogs i'm sure if you watch my vlogs you've seen this if i have a ponytail and no makeup on and a hoodie on i'm like ugh i look crazy like i like a mess and it's like no you're human you're not doing anything today like why do you need to put on like full glam and why does that have to do with your self-worth anyway that's just your worth doesn't come from your physical appearance so that's something that i would do a lot and again i would i would do it like about making mistakes you know oh my gosh i can't believe i did that oh my gosh i'm so dumb oh my gosh that was so stupid latasha and what i've started to do is actually turn that around and start practicing positive self-talk meaning if i crush something you know if i put together an excel spreadsheet that is looking good i get that formula down because i'm not you know i'm learning excel to be honest i've used it for years but i'm finally learning how to like do really cool stuff with it i'm like latasha you are awesome latasha you are that chick you know like can i just get like rupaul in my brain when i do stuff like that but seriously i mean it sounds silly and i'm not into like the whole mirror work and stuff that's a little too woo-woo for me although i'm sure that it does work i just like feel ridiculous doing that but telling yourself hey you don't have makeup on latasha your freckles are so cute like when you don't have makeup on they're so cute i love it little things like that are really important and it sounds silly but what we tell ourselves can become true and i'll also say going back to people treat us how we teach them to treat us i used to say all the time oh my gosh i suck at math i suck at math i'm so bad at math listen i don't suck at math fun fact i'm running a business by myself like i'm the ceo of the business i'm the person making all the financial projections deciding how much to pay people managing my bank accounts and knowing how much money to save and how much money to spend and blah blah blah blah i just bought a house like i'm not bad at math i'm sorry now am i like trigger trigonometrist i don't even know if this is a word trigonometrist am i an algebra person i don't even remember the other kinds of math whatever no clearly i'm not that i don't even know if those are real words but i am not bad at math and when i say things like that on twitter or on youtube or whatever and say oh my gosh they suck at math it just encourages people to say oh yeah you are like haha lol poke fun at her even though it might be said and jest or might be said to like not be a weird conversation if i'm being self-deprecating you can start to internalize that and other people can start to believe that about you too and they can say oh she's incompetent she just said she sucks at math even though i don't like i'm running a business it's kind of hard to suck completely suck at math if you're doing that so keep that in mind practice positive self-talk be kind to yourself and um get a little woo if you need to because i think you're amazing truly the next thing might be a little bit controversial but showing up as a business owner definitely helps my self-confidence the old adage is you know look good feel good right there's another one dress for the job you want not the job that you have and i want to acknowledge a couple things i know people might not like this topic because i do believe that thin privilege is a thing i believe that pretty privilege is the thing you know i believe that there is a lot of inequity um gender inequity right i don't think it's fair that like i have to do two hours of hair and makeup and wardrobe and all this stuff and my husband can like show up on his stream just like roll out of bed i don't think that's fair so i'm acknowledging that and that's not what i'm saying i'm not saying you need to get plastic surgery or put on a you know heaping amount of makeup or anything like that to be confident i think that means taking a shower i think that means washing your face putting your hair up in a ponytail if it's like in your face or whatever like those things are important so you can make eye contact i think it's taking off your you know i don't know superman sweatshirt and putting on just like a plain white shirt or maybe not wearing a hoodie to a business meeting i did this little mock discovery call video you may have seen it and that's one of the things i criticized myself on it was just you know an exercise for fun to teach you guys how to do them but i was looking at it i'm like why would i show up in my hoodie for this call i should really be demonstrating how i would actually show up to a discovery call which is i would probably put on a blazer actually in my office here i have a bunch of blazers in my closet here that are just for that reason because i'm wearing this or if i'm wearing a t-shirt or whatever i can just throw a blazer over top and i look brand new they don't have to know that i have pajamas on but also maybe put on pants serious thing i've been on i've been on many a calls this has actually happened two in my memory where men have been partially undressed yeah one the guy had no pants on and he didn't realize the camera was on so he's like in his boxers on his couch playing with his dog and i'm like why why am i seeing this and then another one i think the guy didn't have a shirt on and he was like eating chips and it was like a very important business call he also didn't realize his camera wasn't on so like just put on clothes you know i really do notice a big difference in my confidence levels when i put on clothes and also for me it's when i put on a little bit of makeup it doesn't have to be anything crazy again i'm not out like reconstructing my face or anything like that but just putting on some mascara it just makes me personally feel more confident and everybody has a different confidence level and things that make them feel good so do more of those things i also want to say though in showing up like a business owner this also has to do with presence right this is something that i very much worked on over the years as a woman and as a woman in a smaller body i'm 5'4 it's not that small but taking up space you know like if i'm in a business meeting and there's a bunch of six feet tall men around me i'm not sitting and standing like this i am doing a power pose right like i am hand on hip and there's a way to do this is not like attitude like you know um there's a difference between that but physically taking up space does make you feel more confident has this weird kind of effect especially i find when i'm around people who are taller or take up more space than i am i can sometimes make myself smaller in those situations and i really have to remind myself like no get up there and take up space this is one of the reasons i like to wear pants personally because i it's harder to take up space for me when i'm in a dress because i'm going to cross my legs and stuff so find those things that work for you that make you feel like you were being really present and you were showing up as a boss and as the leader that you are the next thing i'll challenge you to do is to push yourself we actually on the day of recording this i just had a guest instructor in my course the social media management accelerator and he did a google analytics training and one of the questions a lot of people were asking was how did you learn how to do google analytics and he was like honestly just start like just get your client to give you the reins to their google analytics account or give you access to their google analytics you just have to start and practice practice really does make better maybe not perfect i don't think i don't really believe in perfection but it definitely does help change the game and move the needle for you just doing things and even for that like the google analytics in particular i am not a google analytics pro like i don't that's why i don't have a google analytics course out i don't really know it that well but even that is probably me making myself smaller because i do know it quite well i've been working in google analytics for years and i can speak to it right you don't have to have to know everything but i can speak to it if a client says oh here's my google analytics can you give us some social insights from ga i can be like yeah you're getting most of your traffic from instagram your blogs on your website that are about purses do better than your blogs about shoes right like i know how to do that stuff that's really all that you need to know how to do for most topics like you don't need to be an expert at every single thing so just getting your hands a little bit dirty getting in there and being able to speak to some of the key themes and topics and things like that can be really helpful and can just make you feel more confident about those things if you're feeling 100 confident about an opportunity an idea i don't want to say that it's a bad idea but it probably isn't going to help you grow a ton you know when i feel a little scared not terrified but when i feel a little scared a little bit nervous about something that's usually a sign that that's something that is going to really help me in my professional life i even experience it here on youtube and on the podcast whenever i am like really nervous to put up a piece of content it's so weird but i'll be like i don't know why but i just feel like i went in a little too hard i feel like i was being a little too intense in my advice um those are the episodes where i get dms where i get emails where i get comments saying that changed my business and in turn that changed my life that was advice that was the hard slap in the face virtually of course i would never hit anybody um that i needed speaking on the stages that i feel like i'm too small to speak on dm'ing the person on instagram to make a friend that i feel like is gonna ignore me like those are the things that help you grow so push yourself also push yourself when it comes to your professional development and be teachable the best entrepreneurs that i know are forever students and i don't know man if you know anybody who says that they know everything about anything i'm probably going to tell you you might not want to learn from that person that's just my opinion okay my favorite teachers my favorite anybody is a forever student they have books right like they read books they're always self-educating they're going to conferences they're showing up in masterminds they're doing the work i've been doing this for i don't want to say a long time because i'm still pretty young in my life but i've been doing this almost half my life you know i still have a lot to learn so be teachable read the books join the programs sign up for the masterminds the accountability groups like soak in knowledge and like i said nobody knows everything and something that really does help me also if you have somebody that you look up to maybe it's somebody in your real life maybe it's somebody on youtube maybe it's who you know whoever a podcaster if there's somebody you look up to in entrepreneurship try to follow their journey like trace back their journey this is something that really helps me a lot when i get an entrepreneurial crush on somebody which is a real thing i really like wanna know everything about them like i wanna know what inspired them to become an entrepreneur i want to know where they used to work i want to know what led them to entrepreneurship i want to know the first piece of content that they created i want to watch it you know i think it's really really helpful because a lot of times what you'll see is what was it like us weekly did that segment of like celebrities they're just like us but like entrepreneurs they're just like us like seriously your favorite creators and entrepreneurs and people you look up to were in your position probably not that long ago i mean when i look at my journey which by the way this is why i've created a video on all the jobs i've ever had which spoiler alert started as a dishwasher and i've also created a video all about my entrepreneurship journey and exactly like step by step how i got here i think it's important to be honest about those stories because when i look back even just four years ago three years ago even even a year ago the growth that i've had like the level of confidence that i've learned to build up i mean when i first started i was so like my voice was different it was weird and i don't think it's just aging i think i it's a confidence thing so that really helps me develop my own confidence to see okay amy porterfield she grew so much like she really found her voice i can find mine or you know whoever that person is for you all right i want to answer a quick question of the day it's been a little while since i've done these by the way if you're watching this on youtube and you have a question you'd like me to answer on air go ahead and leave it down in the comments because i think this is the last one from this batch that i have the hardest thing for me as a total introvert is to find clients your best tips well i can understand this completely because i am an introvert as well i think i've veered a little more towards the center over the years which probably just has to do with like being out in the world more and talking to more people i talk to so many people every day but i want to say there's nothing wrong with being an introvert i don't want to say like oh i'm more towards the center now which is great i think it's just what's you know how my life has changed i guess but i think that's the first tip is to see your introversion as a strength and not a weakness there's a book that i read called quiet by susan kane that's a good place to start if you want to kind of learn about the power i think that's what's called quiet the power of introverts or something like that the power of introverts that's really helpful because as an introvert i am a good listener i build deep connections deep bonds with people both personally professionally all of that like i don't have really acquaintances that i just like go to the mall with you know like that's not really my friendship type my friendship dates are like hey let's go to a coffee shop and talk about like the meaning of life talk about our inner child and do some shadow work you know like that's the kind of bonds that i build which can be intense sometimes anyway in business as well right i'm a ride or die if we are business besties like i support you i want to help you i want to get in there in your business with you if you're my client you know i really want to solve the problems i'm not just going to do surface level work and just collect my paycheck that's not my vibe so that's one of the powers of introverts in my opinion so lead with that you know this helps on discovery calls this helps on client calls that uncovering issues you know how many extroverts i've hired that did not understand my problems at all and like ended up creating something for me that is not at all what i asked for because they just didn't listen and again i'm not saying all extroverts do that i'm just saying guys don't get mad at me and i also think it's about choosing the formats and going the places that are the most comfortable for you and that work the best for your type you know your personality type or whatever you know i don't knock doors i don't make cold calls i don't even like adding people on linkedin i'm very shy which i know is not the same as introverted but i am very shy as well and very socially anxious i basically am like afraid of people truthfully that's not something that's comfortable to me is to have like one-on-one cold call conversations instead what's comfortable for me is to develop a really strong inbound marketing funnel because i can talk to a camera and i can be attracting the right people to me so that they're reaching out to me and they're saying hey i want to hire you i want to get to know you as opposed to me like begging for them to have a conversation with me so think about that and i know you might be thinking i'm an introvert i'm shy whatever latasha how are you saying you're shy but you show up on youtube but something i would encourage you to do is just try it because as an introvert one of the most frustrating things for me is if i'm in a group you know room of people and people are like oh how's it going and i tell them and then you can just see their eyes glaze over and they're not actually listening or you try to say one thing and then people just talk over you that is so frustrating and actually so hurtful to me so talking to a camera you know i've been talking for 30 minutes and no one's interrupted me i can't see unless i dig deep into my analytics if you closed out the video or if you rolled your eyes when i talked like i'm not getting that feedback to my face um so it's actually really comfortable i find for a lot of introverts so that would be my advice is lead with your strengths and also choose the formats and the platforms that are the most comfortable to you alright i think that's it i hope you're feeling more confident after listening to this episode let me know in the comments what are some things that you do to make yourself feel more confident also you can subscribe to the podcast on apple podcast on spotify as well as on youtube if you're listening just search latasha james on youtube and if you want to you can also follow me on tick tock i've been creating a tech talk here and there like a tick tock a week let's say and i would love to have some of you join me over there at b latosha james that's all i got for this week hope you enjoyed have a great rest of your day and i will talk to you next time bye [Music] you
2021-11-07 09:42
