Bulletproof: Tim

Hey. Not, too bad right. Now my all I got half now to go sounds like a. Little. Bit appreciate Joe going but no that's not okay, so, my, name is Tim young, thirty, years old from Hamilton, born and bred here. I'm. Getting. Married which, I'm very excited. About. From. Like three weeks ago though. I. Definitely. Remember what it was like when I first had my accident I, was. On a ventilator for, three, and a half months yeah, I couldn't breathe, or eat or talk or anything. In. Retrospect, we realized I was pretty close to dying off more times. So. Kristen, Kate can't come cuz I've. Got a young family, it's. Too tough logistically, so. We can figure out who, will fully a place like I feel like. We're. Gonna have a lot of people there that have. Been really good to us and have supported us as a couple and I'm I don't feel like on my part that I've had to miss any one out yeah, I don't know it's a lot harder fear I met, Erika four years ago when, we were studying psychology. Together, yeah and. We've. Been engaged for 18 months when. I first met Erika the main thing that I liked. Is just how easygoing, she, was and we had so much in common and attempts of traveling. To Canada and. Different. Music and she's, super smart and really on to her and she keeps me honest. I'll, just get the titers out I mean I just thought man they look good Oh. Thames, definitely, the ship in. This, house she said oh yeah. No he's a much better cook than I am so. I think we should just stick to our strengths, and but, you're really good at following recipes. Really. Good meals you just have to I just need a really long amount of time I like it I like, it. He's really funny. He just is a really good natured, guy. Really. Good humor he can have a laugh at himself, yeah. I think we, were, both reflective, people, open. To feedback and. We. Just both want to be better people and better partners. Yeah. Erica's told me that our, relationship on, you, know because of our great communication, I've told you very clearly, yeah. Good, communication, we communicated about our communication. Communication. I've. Talked, a lot with his family, about the kind of man he was before his accident and I really, don't think he's, that, different. From what I hear and. He's. Always been really. Positive and resilient, and outgoing. And funny. And all of those things that I really love about him were. The same ten years ago. We'd. Look at these photos, he. Seemed to fit on a lot I mean here an older sister who was like five and a half and. A brother who it's two and a half years older who, was very, active well. He always enjoyed sport and he enjoyed being, educated, and learning about things it's got an inquiring, mind, he. And his friend that never, must work, had a game they paint the faces all the time cricket. And rugby yeah rock. Base. Skateboarding. Biking. He was always out with us mates. If. We look at high school and, you. Know the years after high school Tim was always the. Has. A bit of a bit of a character I guess jackass, and those kind of shows were pretty big you, know in the early 2000s. Tim. Really took to snowboarding, there millions of scarfie down and delayed them he used to go up snow ball in there he could. It's. Such a great thing saying, him go down around six. Foot five at the rate of nuts. At the end of 2008. I finished, my BSC. In psychology. And. Then I came third in a poker tournament that he said about 10 grain us so I was, able to pay off lots of bills and, plan. My dream holiday to. Canada. To go snowboarding. And. Travelled to Fanny which was a small resort in British Columbia, to do a working holiday, about. Two days before we were to, fly, back to New Zealand from, Vancouver, I went, to whistling. Yeah. We had two. Really awesome days. Then. On one day it was like really sunny and amazing powder so we had a really awesome morning. Just the stove running through the trees and everything and then, we went to the park just for the afternoon. So, I decided. I saw one jump that I wanted to try but I thought the jump was bigger than it was and. So I wound up talked quite fast and then, I realized it was smaller and then, I could do a speed kick which is just, putting, your board sideways to slow down incited. A speech it just before the jump but lost. Control on the jump I knew. It was going to be bad into, talk. To my head forward best I could and brace, for impact. Land. It on the top of my shoulders, and broke my c5, vertebra I. Was. Lying on the ground and, couldn't. Feel anything and, both.

Try Not to move my head too much but I could kind of just see my fingers, flopping. Around near my face. When. I got to Vancouver, hospital they told me pretty quickly after the CT. Scan or MRI scan. That. It was gonna be permanent, and yeah. That was pretty tough. And there. Was a message from Vancouver, General Hospital, when and one of the messages was from a social worker and she said, you know Tim's had an accident, he's in hospital, and she even put me on the phone and spoke, I. Could, speak to Tim he hadn't gone into that respiratory. Shock, he. Said mum I can't move my legs. And. I'd been nursing for 25, years so, I knew, then it was a very structure, of c-56. I. Think. I went into surgery pretty, soon after there and then when I woke. Up the next day mum was dead. The. First couple of days I was just trying to breathe and coughing stuff like dad. And, then Tim got. Worse really their spinal, shock sets and quite quickly, my. Niece and I were called at 3:00 in the morning to, go up and he needed a tracheotomy, he needed to be ventilated. When. I had my trachea, putting at me and I couldn't drink, or aid or talk. The, first 20. Weeks bad. Things kept happening, he had recurrent, yeast infections. He couldn't cough I. Had. Lots. Of pneumonias, and my attorney myth oryx which was like a hole in your lung. In. Retrospect. We realized I was pretty close to dying multiple, times. It. Was a long time, and, then I go back to the motel and cry. One. Day I cried, in front of him and he, spelled him an alphabet chat Lisa, bye Lisa bye Lisa there. Is nice situation, which getting angry will make it any better. That's. Just absolutely scorching, under my memory. Yes. And thank, you for about 6 weeks and the, last. Two or three weeks that was just trying to find a way to get me home, they. Decided, to see. Me on a legit, with I'm a private doctor and nurse. When, I landed, it was in the middle of the night and we went to middle. More and got, put in my room, that I'd spend the next couple months. I hear. People talking about being an ICU for two weeks or three weeks or four weeks he. Was only for six weeks and Vancouver, in another 14 a New Zealand 20. Weeks on a ventilator, and they, didn't seem to be able to get him off fashion.

And. So they. Decided, to then sin meter Burwood. Dr.. Brooke Eklund has a spinal specialist, came and started, winning me off the ventilator. So. For the first Dale's just a couple of minutes I mean the next day it was five minutes and the next day it was ten minutes the, next day was about an hour and then yeah. Within five or six days he just completely. Took me off it and I was I was, better off at than on it. So, yeah we know when I got to bear what everyone else in sight really said they're in a wheelchair and I'm like just stowed I can breathe the need and so. I was yeah well by the time I got no way out here I was like flying I was really heavy. Having. Affects mindset is kind. Of like a habit that people get into and you kind of just think that your abilities as they are as as what you have but, having a growth mindset means, that, you. Know that your abilities, aren't fixed and that you can get better, so. Getting my independence back, was massive, the. More I can do myself is usually. Important, to me. Quadriplegia. And tetraplegia. Are the same thing and it just means that you, have. All four lands affected, and I'm a c5 tetraplegic. Which means I. Injured. My spinal cord and then the. Bone five from the top and. Myself. Survival. But, you know so that means that I. Lost. Roughly. 84%, of my a is, 84. Percent of my body I still, have my bicep, muscles. Deltoids. Feeling. From about, here, and. Ya. Know no, hand movement, I think. I think it's kind of like we, know what people say that they, feel. Like they're still 20, inside but yeah, you. Look. A lot different on the outside but yeah, I mean I still feel the same as I did before my accident. So, this is my power, wheelchair, that I was recommended, to use when I first, got, it here they don't. Think I'd have the function. To pushing. A manual wheelchair which. I don't but I found of good compromise, worth power assisted, wheels. One. Reason I really wanted to be. In a manual, wheelchair meant. That when I go, to a restaurant with, any potential ladies, that I'd, be. A bit more, I. Wouldn't, stand out so much and I'd be able to fit under table, some have. Nice dates. I. Need tears for about 18, hours of the day and that's, for, meals, getting. Me up in the morning. When. I first, and hiring a carer, they. Just need to understand that kind. Of yeah hands. And feet. And. They kind of understand. The frustration. Doing. Everything, in your day-to-day, life and you not being able to physically don't do, it once. I like more kind of, just. Aware. Of that and the empathetic, family so why is yeah I. Really. Like eating nice food so. I like it's. The easiest way to get nice fancy cut nice food if. You can just put that bowl at the front channel so - Paul - please. Thank. You. Figuring. Out my path forward, and where, I wanted to go with my career was really important, part of my rehab - you, have their focus on my next step in life it. Was during my time and build that we figured out that I would, like to do a master's, in science, and psychology. During. My thesis, I I just found this massive, gap in the market, for. Really. Fun engaging, technology. Rocket. Island is like a big 3d, open-world, game kind of like Grand Theft Auto on, stadia, work with the community, and learn, about people's, specialties. All. Of the game design is based around the science, of learning that, is relevant. For such weighted learning and increasing. Motivation for the students, all. Of the programming, and everything I just learned from YouTube. There's. Heaps of schools that are on board now and I've kind of got that validation, that. The schools are really interested, in that I think. Tim. Doesn't want people to feel sorry for him he, wants people to be proud of him yeah, he's leading, his life pretty, much as, he would have been doing if he still. Had his legs. Like, getting the carrot was a really. Big part of me becoming, independent and. Just. Having confidence to like talk to girls and stuff and, you. Know not be a picking them up and a diss a back, of a disability, van. Straight. After rehab, to get around I use, taxis, that that's just for ones would often finish Hayden, that evening or something you know it want to be going out to dinner and sing for in something so I. See see a great police vehicle, for me to be driven around them but I was still in the back of the fan so it. Was really good to get a cow that I could drive, myself and be out front. Having. Like a positive. Mindset and a good sits humor for making. All my friends and family more. Comfortable with everything. It's, easy to make shopping jokes, and get a reaction from people which is always fun, yeah.

It Just automatically, puts me running at ease if I'm not you. Know feeling, super sorry for myself, like. Small black and sits at the top of the stairs. Paraplegic. After a house fire. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. That's just our reception, venue down there that's good probably, nothing longer all right you may be by a gear. Fairfield. Intermediate, tonight, I played soccer together so this when we first met, and. In third form it's, one thing to see you mate you, know stuck in a chair, but. Yeah to makes it a whole lot easier if he's you know being positive about everything and. Stable. To be realistic, and be excited about the future story you know. It's. Always gonna be successful. Yeah. See. Being in a chair certainly hasn't changed that so something, is always done pretty well with the ladies yeah yeah he's. Yeah. I don't know let's, just have their guns in his eye or something but he's always he's always done a lot I, thought. Well he's got a great, personality and. He done, one people to him with a sense of humor and fun, so, I guess I always hoped that something. Might happen, after. Make that I'm definitely. Knew that it would be a lot harder to meet girls and I knew I'd be but. More of a numbers game than I already was for, everyone anyway. So, I met him a, few years. Ago while, we were studying psychology, I. Thought. You, know he's a good-looking guy and then, when. We were juicing ourselves, to the class he, talked about his, accident and his, poker win and I just thought he was a really interesting person. Tim. Sent me a Facebook. Message after, our block course asking. Me out for a drink but it went - no those that others folder. Which. I very. Rarely tick so I saw it probably about three. Weeks after he seemed to. From. There I was living in Auckland he, was living in Hamilton exchanging. Messages back, and forth. He. Picked me up in his canna. Nobody, sails the, duck. We. Had hot dogs which was very missing, don't. Think I was the best choice, and. Then we went down to when, you'd caught her and I just, said on the pier and talked. We, hit it off really well and we're spending every. Weekend, we could together. Yeah. Has focused know each other better of differently. Fall in love with him or the. Fact, that he was in a wheelchair definitely. Was. Something that I had to think, about in terms of pursuing a relationship. I remember. Getting into a conversation with, a friend of mine even, before our first date thinking what's.

That Gonna look like when. We're elderly, you know I was, running way ahead before. Before. We even had our first date you know I have a hearing impairment and I was talking with my friend I said you know one day I might be completely diff and then I'll be using sign language but. Tim doesn't. Have the use of his hands he's not going to be able to sign with me and then I was running away with it, but. That, was kind of in a really silly kind of overthinking. Kind, of way I just. Thought. That if. I was happy and he was able to fulfill me like emotionally, in terms of having, a partner that's supportive, that I can have fun with all, of those kinds, of things. Those. Were the really key, things. You know I just wanted to be treated well and, the. Fact that he was in a wheelchair didn't, stop him from being, able to do that. You used to do my hair on special occasions, yes. You. Used. To dress yourself up from school and the teachers. Called you an independent. Dresser, okay I've, got to know her parents and I said. To, them how, are you guys doing with us because, I really felt for them if. My daughter had come home and said mom I've met this super cool guy and by the way account for your eighty-four percent of his body, far, out. When. We met Tim you know she brought Tim round he had dinner with us and we had a lovely evening and he's, quite upfront and he's just very personable, and very friendly, and he's obviously very clever, and smart and, after, a while you actually look beyond the wheelchair, so, in a way those seemed they seemed very happy together so if. Erica's, happy we're. Happy and we'll be supportive, of him once, you get your shoes. Then. Then. You'll that'll, decide what lengths you're going to hit I think everyone, wants companionship. I think we're we're. Best friends and, we enjoy. Coming home to each other and. Sharing our lives and Tim's, got so much exciting. Stuff going on at the moment that I I. Feel. Like I encouraged, him I hope that he feels like, I'm his champion, and just. Yeah. I hope. That that's what I I'd give him just someone that's cheering. Him on and believing. In his, vision. So. It's gonna be an outdoor we doing a great green kind, of cream, and green, flowers. It. Could be kind of insane color scheme. We. Fit the date for like. 18, months out or something the. Division of planning is probably the same as our, cooking. More.

Than I am, I'm. Appreciating. 10. Minute but we. Didn't renew before the proposal, it, was really typical, Tim. Thing, to do very planned and organized, and, quite rational. So. We, had gone on a cruise to, New, Caledonia, it was our first Asscher day. And. We. Had. Some drinks beforehand. Got all dressed up nicely and, Tim. Said that we should try. And catch the sunset, then. So I was kind of fluffing around he was quite eager to get up to. Catch the sunset. We. Kind of just managed to get, there to the top deck and I was wanting, to look back at. Nemea and, look at the sunset, yes. I'm trying to say nice things, but. She was busy. Yeah. I finally, clicked on to what, was happening. Had. In the box and between my legs. Coming. Up with my phone in a tissue and then afterwards, I couldn't get it out so I was like trying, to a like surprising. Kind of hack it out between my legs and then. Yeah, I was like yeah just grab the box. It. Was pretty funny I did not get on one knee. You're. Getting over notice. How's, that. I've. Been in other relationships, where I didn't feel as secure, I think Tim. Lets me know every day that he's here for me he loves me and. He's. Just always a lot of fun we, don't. Really, clash, on anything that's, like okay apart from cooking, but in the grand scheme of things I think there's pretty minor. I think. We're highly compatible yes I, think, you know just as so many people in the world that you're probably gonna have more than one soul mate but yeah, it definitely feels like you're with one of my soul mates he. Told, me recently he said she's my number, one and. I went oh my gosh. I don't want to be someone's number. What am I your number one. Yeah. We know, I really, like tons of position. Okay. Thanks so much for coming. So. Excited, I woke up this morning and cried I just, thought how. Many miracles have, happened but. To Erica. She gets a birthday. Ten. Years ago oh my gosh that flight back from the. Air and being run going. Over the air and just everything we went through to come back to New. Zealand that 19-hour, flight. And. Then 20 weeks on a ventilator and then 20 weeks and Rehab I. Never. Did dream without that, he, won't, be getting married to this really beautiful girl and she's such a treasure they. And I just see the love over their faces I Timothy. James young. Take. You Erica land, to. Be my legal wife. Hi Erica lamp Tennessee. Chase take, you Timothy JP I'm Sabina Google has to. Be my legal husband. I pronounce. You husband. And wife when, you make it. We. Mainly just wanted a party we, just wanted like a party that everyone all of our friends and family would have to come to we. Were calling it our love spotty for a while. Attitude. Was made with funding from New Zealand on, air.

2019-05-27 11:10

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