АВТОМОБИЛЬ СУПЕР СУСА! ТЕСЛА ЗА 80 000 $ ОТКУДА ??
- Let's go! - Good day, dear friends! It's me, Comrade with you today! And, as you may know, I had a conflict with Elon Musk. And that's why from sunny California we received a new Tesla! - That's why, Guys! Electronics of Soviet Union! And you need to answer for Soviet Union! And we, comrades, are answering for their promises! That's why, look! - Good morning! Opa! So, what do we have today? Susanin recently turned fifty with something years. I'm not gonna say how much. That's why we need to change our life to something more electonical. People say that in a year or two people will be implanted with electronics! We decided to take an electric car and see how it will work in our "digger" surroundings. How it will drive on this territory, on suburbs, factories and stuff. And we want to make a test drive. Elon sent us his car for test drive. - For his hips, don't forget it! - Good evening! Hello! - Greetings! Look, this was sent to us by Elon Musk! From California! - I got it. - Maybe, give you a ride? - So, what's the deal? We betted with comrade! That's a one good ukrainian verbal unit! (he said it in ukrainian) - We made a bet with you, man! Look, I think that's in your 56 years you need to... - Why are you uncovering me? Not 56! -... you need to stop stalking the underground, but to look for a normal profession for yourself! That's why if today I will ride where you say and Tesla will withstand the test drive, I will shave you bald and you will study IT! And you will work for Tesla till the end of your days!
- And if I don't want to work for Tesla till the end of my days? - You will, because you lost your bet! You need to answer for your words, like Elon Musk! - I didn't say that... - What if it tuns out that the car is crap? - If it'll turn out as crap, I will shave myslelf bald and go to work for Elon! Yeah, Susanin? - That's it Susanin. - C'mon! - Break it! - We made our bet! - C'mon! - 1! 2! 3! Op! - And want to remind that recently Elon visited Kyiv and said that all of these garages will be demolished and on this place there will be opened a new Tesla factory! In Kyiv! And, friends! Patriots! I want to congratulate you with that! The man was in commission! And took part in the negotiation about construction of the factory! We gifted Elon this bundle of electrical wares. He took stuff from Zhitomir factory "Candy"! So, Sus, hop in and let's test the Tesla! - Let's go, hit the road, friends! And let the fate judge us! Okay, let's go! Tesla test drive! - F**k! - F****ing s**t! I ripped my sneaker! I ripped my sneakers! Look! What will Elon Musk answer to this? I ripped my sneakers! - Sneakers? I will ask him to send you a new pair from California. Don't worry! Besides, he payed for this video, transfered 10 000$ to each of us. Everything's fine. Do not worry. As Mr. Kototfey said: "Calm down." It's not a mess. The main thing that we were paid. Elon Musk, we will check what you created! We will test your Tesla and make a verdict! Wait, my friend! - It goes, dear mother! It rides, my dear! It's a tesla behind us! Look! It's a fake Tesla! Elon Musk, look! So...
- It has no sit in the middle! I fell down! - Hello! Tell us, what's the price for evacuating a car like this? If we will get stuck here. Will you take us up for 500 hryvnia? - No, he doesn't want to... - He would take us for 500, he's just messing with us. He saw, at once, that this car came to us from California, from Elon, with "Comrade" signs. Everybody knows that Comrade is about the evacuators mad! Tesla! TESLA!!!
- Watch out, not to kill the dogs! - Good day! - Greetings! Tell us, what are you loading? You are loading..? There will be a ringroad? I want to drive here 180 km/h on Tesla, like on autobahn. Will I be able to? - You won't. - Won't? Why won't? - It has a big climax! Around 23%! - Drive further. - Okay. - Thank you.
Thanks. Okay, Comrade, enough rattling. Let's see how it rides. - We already driving 40km/h on off-road. Isn't it enough for you? - Let's drive to the road. - Friends, we choose these subbusrbs for a reason! It's our domain! Our stuff! And we made it on purpose. It's a warm-up. We observe how it drives on off road. After it we will drive to a factory, and see how it'll show itself in there. So, we move on, stay tunned! It'll be more interesting! - At the end we will jump from that trampoline! Agreed? - Nope.
Watch this video till the end and some of us will be shaved bald! - Nah, man. C'mon. I agreed only to Elon's stuff. -It's doing well! Watch out for nails! So, it won't thrust us? Watch out, don't burn your legs! - Of the year? 2021? - 2022, I think... - ...the year of manufacturing. Right from the sunny California! So, Comrade, you, as an experienced driver! You have around 43 years of experience! Your first impression? - My first impression is very contradictory. It's not a univocal car. Not univocal at all. It's really unclear. I wont be praising it. It's not univocal at all. - What does it mean? - It's not univocal! - What does it mean? Univocal or not? - So, the first thing that I want to say, it's a plus to your karma and why it suits us. The car is very quiet! You can go and steal cables on it. It's good to silently drive on factories.
Second thing - is a good climax! I think we need to put from auto... ... to manual transmission. - Does it have manual? Can you turn it to manual? - Yes, you can! You pin your control to the bottle. Hydro-auto! - So, it suits us on two factors: it's quiet and high, so you can drive the off-road! - It means that you shave bald? - No, for now you have to shave. I won for now. - You shave bald... - For now you are winning.
- It has two more seats in the back, there should be enough space for 9 passengers? - Yes, if Katya, Bono and Kotofey will join us, we will have a ninesome! It's threesome multiplied three times. - So, you can use it as route taxi, when a crisis will come. - Yes. - Come to a route and drive people.
- I have two car numbers. Green and yellow. I will use yellow, so cops wouldn't be stopping us, and work as a route taxist. - Yeah! - Have you seen the trinket that hangs here. Sus, show it! I came back to the electrical ware, back then. Dimon will put that video here. I said that I lost it, but I came back and found this chip! And thanks to this chip, diplomacy mission of USSR in abondonance helped me. And Elon Musk gifted us this granate Tesla X! And, maybe, he will give it to Sus! - Wow! Yes? - Yes, Sus! Thanks to our grandfathers, which projected such beautiful chips! With regulating of traffic! All of it was already in 1976! And Elon just dublicateed it! Do not think that all of this was created by Elon Musk! In reality he stole everything and sent us this Tesla X for his bad words! Because, friends! Friends! You have to answer for what you say! - Left! Park here. - Is he right? - Of course! Man walks the walk.
- Have you seen what he showed? He got that this is Elon's. One hit and you go! Hello! And this guy is already implanted with chip! - Bury it down. - Just bury it well. Very well. - Where should we stay? Near the car? Damn, it's already.?! - Damn! - He tattered it! - Sus tattered the safety bag from Tesla X - I can't hear you. My ear is numb. - Ear? Inside your ear we will plant a NeuroLink! Do you agree? - No! - Agree, please! I will insert you a NeuraLink! You will be able to control your car from afar! - I won't! - I have two NeuraLinks! - I won't! Don't want! - So, look, friends! As you know, besides building Teslas, Elon Musk has is occupied in the field of...
- ... of Fantastic. - ... in the field of neurotechnologies! That's why, to you, Cosmis, and to you Elon Musk sent two NeuraLinks. Those, which were implanted to monkeys! Two NeuraLinks, they are to put in the ears and connect to the brain. I will show, look. I was holding them in creon, cause they could die otherwise.
- Here, look. Two NeuraLinks. Look, right and left! Here's it's setting! Wait! Quiet! It undergoes a synchronization. Wait, it's synchronizing. - What is this? Does it move? - It's NeuraLink, yes. - What is this? - It's NeuraLink. NeuraLink. - What do you mean? - It will finish the activation. Wait a minute. - It's from California? - Yes, it's from California. NeuraLink. Yes, it is activated! Yes, for Sus! That's it! Sus, put it in your ear! - What the hell? Go out! I won't put it in! - Listen, it's Elon Musk! It's new technologies! - The hell I need your Elon Musk? I will drive a Lada! - C'mon! Put it in your ear! - Go to hell! - It is meant to be put in an ear! You could drive car! Play tetris! And ping-pong! Give me your ear! - To hell this! I'm afraid! - To each his own. Careful! See? No it is synchronizing with Susanin's body!
It goes. Put it in your ear. - What the hell? - Careful! Put it in your ear and it'll suck in! - One thing coasts more than Tesla! - Yes! Now this thing coasts 35 000 $. It is completely serious! Susanin, just don't kill it! It's an alive organism! - To hell with this! It will crawl into my brain! - That's the idea! - No, I won't do it. - Are you putting it? - Why it doesn't move? - It's the wrong side! Here, it's moving! - Quiet. What do you feel? - Nothing for now.
- How much time will synchronizing take? - Synchronizing is around five mintues. It downloads the info and saves it on chips. It overwrites then. - Oh, the left one is moving! - Moving? - Yes. - Double stage? - Yes, double stage. Can you feel how it crawls into your brain?
- Yes, it crawls, but what for? - This NeuraLink... - What's inside of it? Electronics? - Electronics. - Future.
Future. Our future. Soon we will insert you! We will insert chips into everyone.
Kiss-kiss! Soon we will plug you into humans! Invertebrates! Into humans! Report to Elon Musk! - Ukranian firecrackers! - Alexey! - Yes, guys! By an old tradition we are playuing out the metal detector on SuperSus channel! Subscribe to SuperSus! Subscribe to my Instagramm - Samakov Alexey! And obligatory leave a like and write a comment below this episode! I just showed you the maggots! NeuraMaggots, beta version! Write us in the comments how we can use it in day-to-day life? For what operations? We will sent all of these comments to Elon Musk, and he will choose the best one! And we will gift this metal detector to the one... To whom... To the one who wrote unique and original comment. - In a week we will share you the results in the SuperSus's Instagram! To take part you need to be subscribed to Comrade's and Sus's Instagram, leave a like and wtite the most original comment on how to use the maggot in the future. - Yes, how to use the maggot.
- And this metal detector will be a good present to someone. That's it! I will hide it, and it'll go to someone. That's it, dear friends. - It was just a warm-up, near this trash! Now we will go to a real factory. To the real off-road! Let's go! - Sir Budulay, what's going on? - Friends, we a riding to the flea market, to buy an uculele! Comrade made a song for us, he wants to sing it...
- I... I... I want you to drive it. The car is yours. It was sent to me, but it's yours. I will rewrite in on you. I want... some art. I want to buy an ukulele on the flea market and will be driving by yourself... - And will be playing? - And I will be playing! I want to have a rest. - Agreed.
- Elon Musk, big thank for the car to you. Thanks for the car and Tesla. You too, kiss our beautidul Tesla. That's it. For Tesla. If there were no Tesla, there would be nothing. - The would be no us. - Tesla under the world! - Cosmic, do you like it? - It's great! - Watch out, an old lady croses the road! - Where? - There.
- Let's go right? - We need turn on the submarine, so we could go underwater. - Okay, let's do it on the factory, where no people watching. Comarde, don't destroy us! - Guys! Guys! Finally, I'm driving to the flea market! This thing doesn't let me go! Let me go! I'm driving to ukulele! Ukulele! We move to buy an ukulele! Ukulele! - We flew, and got into a stew! - Why does it beeping? - I dont' know! It's some kind of... - Does this car writes our conversation? - Of course! - And sends it to Pentagon? - Yes, it sends it to Google or Youtube to show you advertisement. It even researches... There are anilzators in our sits, which anilize your, I'm sorry, farts, to tell you in which supermarkets you need to buy stuff. Do you see how far the progress has gone? - Good. - Friends, we are comming near our flea market, our domain. Now we will buy an ukulele and then move to the factory.
- Can we drive like this? - Yes, we can. We can. Just be careful, there will be many people. - So, ukulele! Ukulele! Guys, where is ukulele? Where ukuleles are sold here? We need an ukulele. Guys! Ukulele! Do you have an ukulele? Ukulele? - Let's go further. - Sus, hello! - Guys, where are ukuleles? - Let me make a photo! - C'mon, come here! - Fast! Comrade! I'm subscribed to you! - Dima, hello! - Wassup! - Sus! We met before! I'm a fan! Saw all your videos! Gimme me a sec! - C'mon, c'mon! - Dima, the Moscow bridge, which you conquered! It was something! - Yes! Cool! - Sus, for a good memory! - C'mon. - Comrade, smile! - Hello! - Thank you! - Yes, thanks to you. - Guys, you rock! Dima...
- Thank you! - Good luck! - Say hello to Polina! - Thank you! - You got into the video! - Really? Thank you! - Jokes are jokes, but we need an ukulele! That's why we need to buy an ukulele! Here? Yes? - Yes, forward! Just forward, carefully. Hello! Sus, watch out. It's a train going by. - We are interested in ukulele. Need to find it. - You just have nothing to do! - Yes-yes. That's right! - People are working here, and you... - We are working as well.
- Can't you drive there? - We could, but... - It has a route there. It has a way, all good. - On such a car people don't work! - She said: "On such a car people don't work!" - How is it "don't work"? She said: "On such a car people don't work!" - I won't drive through here! - You will! Just fo it carefully! It has a route! Careful! - Don't hurt an old lady. - Careful. - Such doors have their cons. - It's okay. Sus, close the door.
- We will drive fast and that's it. - We are deputies, let us in! - We will go through. - A bit here, yes. - It's a car there! - We will figure it out. C'mon, we'll do it!
- Where is the crossroad? - Hello! How is that like this..? - We will move to the side. - Guys, you colored your car in the wrong color.
- Why? - It won't go throught! It's red! - Careful, guys! Do you know how much glass costs? - Ah, here! - See, it shows people! And even it shows Cosmic! - It's a nightmare! Damn! - Cosmic, control the process! - Yes-yes! It's okay! I'm an engineer! - C'mon! - C'mon x3! - C'mon x3! Let's go! - ... it doesn't coincide with schedule... It's okay? - Yes-yes! Is your interent turned in? - Of course! - It's okay then, it'll do. C'mon! Turn your steering wheel on me! On me! Put your hand to the left! - We are on a frying pan! - You are on a frying pan! What are you doing! - Wow! Careful-careful, we are on frying pan! - No! To the other side! - No, to the other side, turn your wheel other side! Other side! - That's it! Stop! Move back! - Elon Musk and Sanya Kreosan will repair everything! Elon Musk is not a... - Hello! Pies! Pies! Here goes pies and cigarettes! Do you remember her? - Yes-yes. - It's a nightmare! Elon Musk invented! It goes on autopilot! It's not me! - It's already broke... - It's frives by itself! It's broken a long time ago! - Don't touch the wheel! - Here, look! It drives by itself, on autopilot! Version 3.0.
Elon Musk and Sasha Kreosan will pay for everything. Sorry for broken pans! Sorry-sorry! - Careful, it's a man behind! - Huh? Move away a little! Turn your wheel right. Wheel to the right. I will make him go! - What's wrong? * too illegible * - Why don't you allow us to..? - We are driving out. - Yes. Okay. Goodbye!
- I'm saying: "Dirty fiend!" - Who? - The one, who doesn't let you out. - I'm driving from there! - For real?! - Yes! - Are you sure that you drive from there? - I'm driving on that car! - I just filmed that you were driving to that side! - It wasn't me! I'm there, let me out! - Okay. - We are ready to pay the fine, we need to let people out.
- You tell me! - Elon Musk drove like that! - It's complete Elon Muck! Now people will come and deal with it. They will come and deal with it. - Who? Police? - Yes. - Call the police, I will... - I already called them.
- Great! Sasha Kreosan and Elon Musk will pay for it with credit card. - Damn! Of course! Yes! - I understand! I understand! - We are driving back, why..? - Why the hell you show me your middle finger, and dance like this on camera? Let the cops come and they will deal with it. - C'mon, move away! Don't mess around! Move away. - Now we'll have a f****ing theatre! You lost your mind? -...or what? Do you know who am I?!
- Look how many cars gathered here! - Guys! Guys! You drove on a sign that vorbids to drive here. That one! - From that side I didn't break the rule! To come from there is allowed! - I'm telling you one more time, now people there will be really mad! - Why the f**k did you put your wares on the f****ing road?! - It's never been a problem. - Man, let us frive through, not to make conflicts. - No, there will be a conflict! I'm telling you! There will be a conflict. - I could drive through here, there is the sign. Let me just drive to the right and that's it. No, I have no problems with you, just let me out and that's it. - Move! Move away! Both of you! Move, and let me deal with him! We are tired of them! Move away and let them drive! Why are you standing there? It's her problem, let them drive! - That man doesn't let us go.
- Why are you filming? Will you show me tomorrow? - Yes. - You are from that car? - Yes. - No need to film me! - Do you see in what car they came here? - Let them out! Why the hell are you standing there? - D**khead! * too illegible * - Friend, move away a little and let me out...
- That man doesn't allow us to... - Drive forward! Drive forward a little! Half of a meter! Forward, just little! Than a bit right, so I could drive here! - It's a mess..! - He says you are duputies or something! It's three cars there! - ... deputies! Move right a little! - Careful! To the right! Right! More! More! Carefully! Careful! - That's it! Nice! So I could drive out! - Yes! - Thank you! Country of idiots! - Yeah! Now that's a nice content! - Oh! Careful! Careful! - I'm doing it very careful! - Yes! Yes! Moving forward! - Make a good shot! - Careful x5! Look! Porsche Cayenne and Tesla X! Half centimeter! Great! That's it! Sorry for inconveniences! So? Let's go forward? Kisliy, hello! - Hello! You are filming? - Goodbye! Good luck! - What? Yes! - Good! Good luck then! - Goodbye! - Tesla! - Is that okay? Hey you! Listen, you! Goddamn Sus! - Here, take it for the broken...
- Damn, what's the hell?! What's going on? - Please, we are sorry. Now, it's okay! - We broke... Now we'll an ukulele and move away! No problem! I dunno, why they make such a problem? Blocking the path and other stuff... - It's okay, they are cursing us already.
- You see, because the car is electrical nobody hears it! - Friends, you are on Super Sus channel! We faced misunderstanding! And filming a Tesla review today! Hello! People recognize us! Some understand, some not. It's art. - I'll cover your back and escort this car through the market! Follow me! - C'mon! Forward! - Rotate the wheel! - See, it's driving good. Stops before pedestrians. It's a safe car! Won't even kill a flee! It won't kill an ant! - Who would have think? We were selling goods here two years ago! And we are driving here! Got a deputies mandat! - See it? He said: "escort"! - Real escort! - Escort services! - We made it because of Tesla! - Yes! Little Tesla! Here it is. - Fabulous! - Tesla! Careful! Careful! - Here's an escort in front of us! Hello! - Hi! - Hi! - C'mon! Dimon! C'mon! - Don't film me! Don't! - Let the car move! - Letting that car move? - Yes.
- Don't film me. - I'm filming, so there would be no law violation. - Film the car then.
- Wait! - Stop! - Wait! Wait! - Idiot! - Make him pay! - He doesn't see where he is driving? - Wares were damaged? - Of course! - How can you evaluate the damage? - We'll see! Some kind of d**khead! - Yup. - F**k! Wait! - Be careful, not to get damaged yourself! What do you sell? - Patches. All kinds. Bactericidal, rolled, corn. - Healing, huh? - All kinds. Also tooth pastes. Creams. - No, thanks. - So, how high the damage? - 30 hrivnyas.
- 30? - Yes. - Here, have 300, so you wouldn't get upset. Have a nice day! - Thank you! Thank you very much! - So? - How's life? How are videos? - We are filming. See? - People hate us here already! - Why so? You made a ruckus? - Sus, is that your mistress? - Yes. - I was on fan gathering! - Gathering? We need to make a new one. Yes.
- Will it be in the nearest future, or because of quarantine..? - Yes, let's make it! - Just with me? - Yes! - Good! - We'll obligaotry do it! - We are filming and people curse on us! - Why? - Because we are driving here on a car! - Comrade bought a Tesla?! - Yes! - Sold his a**? - Yes! - How old are you? - 19. - You can come with us, if you want. - Where? - Just hang around.
- I'm with my mom! I'd love to come with you! - We are making a test-drive. If Comrade doesn't like it, I'll have it. - What do you mean? - We are making Tesla's review. Whether it suits our diggers needs. We'll drive to a factory. And we'll get it afterwards. - And we made a bet, if Tesla will pass all our challanges Sus will shave bald, if it'll not - i will! - That's how it is. Okay.
- Can I kiss you in the cheek? - Okay. - Thank you. - Good cops to you! - Thank you! - Thanks! Goodbye! Thank you! - Dimon, what kind of parties Sus has? Swinger parties? -... Now! Wait! - It's MCdrive, yes? - Yes. - Can we have two coffee? Like in MCdrive! Can you make in my cup? - You have a store on wheels, yes? - We were refused to be serviced. We came to buy an ukulele, in the center of flea market. Where? Where? Do you have an ukulele? - Yes.
- Opa! Is it good? - It's good, yes. 200 hrivnyas. Look. - For 200? - Yes. - It's not tuned. - Nah, it's very good! Take it! - It seems okay. I'll tune it. * unfortunately, I don't know this language * ... for you, for bunnies. - Sieben-sieben, ay-lu-lu! I love very much too! Here, 200 hrivnyas. We'll get going!
- Yes! Thank you. - That's it! Thank you very much! Cool! It's like a new one! - Yes? - Yeah, it's cool. Let's go and play! * still don't know this language :) * ♫ If you know how dear to me these evenings near Moscow! ♫ - Shazam has worked in my head! And what do you have? - I have paintings! - With flamingo? - With flamingo! With beads! - Price of flamingo one? - 300.
- 300? Huh! - Yes. - It's beautiful. - Haggle! - Let's make it 200.
- Okay. - Will you sign it? I recognized you! You were in the movie of Oksana Bayrak! It were you! - Yes, it was me. - Will you make it 200? - Will do. - Here 200. - That's it.
- You painted it? - Yes. - Seriously? - Yes! - Don't you know? It's a famous actress! - Painter. - Painer, yes.
- So, guys? Didn't buy a Cadilac? And I got a Tesla for free! Imagine it! You didn't buy a Cadilac, and I got a Tesla for free! - For free it's... - Hello! Let me come out! Elon Musk gave us with Sus a Tesla! You dig? - Goodbye! Thank you for cooperation! Have a nice day! - We will watch ourselves on Youtube! - Supersus.shop! - Okay. Good.
- That's, friends. We filmed the flea market. We were cursed here! Hope our wheels won't be pierced! We filmed what we wanted, bought an ukulele! Will you play, Comrade? - Of course I will! - Will you allow me to drive on the bridge? - Of course! - That's it! Comrade will let me drive and go there! And I'll be driving! - Do you have a driving license? - Obligations! Only obligations! (in ukraine, it's called "driving rights", so it's a reverse joke I couldn't translate." Friends, don't get mad! It's all is a movie, we are making a show. We payed for destroyed wares, helped people a bit. And we are moving forward to film on. Don't get offended! Have a nice day!
Good, it seems we moved out. Look, Super Mario! Look! Look! - I though who were calling? Lyoha can't scream loud enough to reach us. - Lyoha? It was me! I'm Lyoha! - Nah, not you.
- It was me! - Not you. - Me! Me! - Nah, not you. I saw that Lyoha. - And what about me? - And I never saw you! - Let's go! - All good to you! Peace! - Friends, we can't get out of flea market! Friends, now we're driving to suburbs, and one of us will shave himself. - Bald. - Bald! Comrade, will you shave? - I think you will lose.
- Why so? - Tesla is doing well! - I dunno... We squashed 3 frying pans! - BigMac menu with no potato. - There is no menu with no potato. - How?! - Only BigMac menu. - Give me BigMac menu with no potato. - I'll give you a BigMac menu, and if you won't eat it, you could throw it away.
- Give me BigMac menu witout potato. - I can make you BigMac with coffee. - I don't want it! I want BigMac menu without potato. And a latte coffee. With no sugar, because you can develop manboobs. - Okay. Got you.
- And no souce. I don't need it to potato. - No souce. Good. - And no potato.
- Good. - That's it? We're done? - You ordered everything? - Everyone has ordered? - For Cosmic and Sashka Kreosan... This thing... Cheesecake! - With strawberry? - Which one? - Strawberry.
- How's that? - With strawberries! - Who's that? - Who's halfberry? Didn't get it. - Strawberry! Strawberry! - I don't need a half of it! Give me the full one! Full! - Full one? Okay. - Good. Give me the full one. - Check the order. You may proceed to payment after. - It's not visible. Forget about it. - Econom menu. It seems to be okay.
- That's it. Good. - Ideal. - You may proceed.
- Good. Thank you. - It was hard. * some kind of new pop song * * see in the next episode * - That's it, friends! I'll get going. - Careful! It's...
- It's okay! - It's not a sunny California, god damn! It's a motherf****ing Troeschina! * outro *