I Rented a $200 Girlfriend in Philippines
This is me and my Filipina girlfriend! Well... sort of. You see, in the Philippines, there are websites you can use to rent a girlfriend. For example, this girl likes Karaoke photoshoots to prove that you have a girlfriend or you can even have and ASMR date together. Erm...
What? So, anyway I gave up on this website. But luckily I managed to find the girl of my dreams. Will I be lucky and find my Filipina wife? I hate you! Of course there's only way to find out. Oy oy! Sexy girl! Hi, what’s up? How are you? Ohh! I get a kiss already, huh? Yeah Wawa wee wa! Very nice! With my discombobulating hello out of the way, we headed to the airport as I wanted to surprise my date by flying her to a secret romantic location. So I am going to take you to...
What? A dark alleyway. ♪Bow Chicka Wow Wow♪ I'm joking, I'm joking! Otherwise, the video is going to be two minutes long. Yeah Good morning po. Can we make sure we sit separately, please? Separately? No I’m joking, I’m joking! Not together? Not together. I hate you so much! I love you too. This is the check-in.
Amazing! Thank you so much. Boarding time, sir starts at 11:55... Aghh!! Why did you open this one! I hate you so much! I needed to check. I need to check age gender everything! What the heck? Not even 5 minutes into going to the airport, we made it through security. And if you thought that everything seem to be going smoothly so far, just hold on to that thought. So there was a few options when it came to airlines.
Obviously there's Cebu, there's Philippine Airlines, and there's Air Asia. I obviously picked out Air Asia because they have the sexiest uniform. It's true! Yes That’s true I'll show you now. Really sexy.
Bruv I knew it’s just my luck. It’s a guy. That's not what I meant when I said sexy uniform. I didn’t mean it. I promise! You can have the window seat.
Okay, okay. So you can't escape me. Sorry, bro! Weeh! Tee Rehh! Excuse me! Can I change seats? This girl is crazy, bruv! Oh, you can hear me? And with that, we left Manila ready to go to our secret romantic location. Show them! Like this. No..it is alright. What the f... What?
At this point, both of us were excited. As we were going to one of the most beautiful tropical islands in the Philippines. An island called Boracay. Where you can go parasending jetskiing and even ziplining.
Unfortunately for us though, there was a huge typhoon in the Philippines. Hay nako! I thought Boracay is like a beautiful island obviously, and like it’s supposed to be really tropical. I didn't realize they meant tropical thunderstorms, bruv! Look at this. As we continued to fly towards Boracay, the weather just kept getting worse and worse and it seemed that our date was destined to fail.
And so, to make sure we have a successful date, I needed to complete 4 objectives! 1 Of course I need to make her feel comfortable and get her to smile. 2, I need to get over my fear of heights to show her how manly I am. 3, to play basketball to prove how athletic I am, and finally to get a second date that is completely for free. But how would I get on? Stick around to find out. Alright, boys and girls we have officially arrived to Boracay! Yeah The weather take the piss.
Obviously, our bag had to be the last one left as well. Well, it made it at least. As the weather continued to get worse, I honestly felt really bad for my date. She took time off work just to come here, and it seemed that we couldn't enjoy this beautiful island together. Are you feeling wet? Wet? Yeah The rain.
Yeah Yeah Yeah Don’t worry, it’s... it's a common side effect when you're with me. The f*ck? To make sure I cheered my girlfriend up, I decided to book one of the best hotels on this island. I won’t reveal the price just yet but let me just say it was super expensive.
Finally made it after like f***ing... 1 hour flight an hour and a half just to get here. But I promise I’m not moaning. Good afternoon! How are you? Just checking-in. Alright Can I have your passport, please? Yes Here you go po. Thank you! Thank you so much.
Ready? Yes! Yeah? Yeah! Yeah? Yeah! Can I get a hell yeah?! Hell yeah! Thank you po! Nice! Can I drive? Erm... I take that as a yes. Ah, sick! Ahh, here we go! Oh, yes! Here we go.
Now... Now we're talking. Wow! Thank you po.
Ahh, sick! This is looking good! Alright, sir... Let me put my bag down I'll show you, guys. $9 I appreciate it, bro. Thank you! Enjoy your stay. Thank you. So I got my lovely assistant with me, and I'm going to go ahead and show you what this room looks like. Let’s go! Over here I guess you got a little lounging area somewhere to do a little bit of coffee, a little bit of tea.
But really this is where the magic happens. Do you want to show them? Wait, let me jump in as well. Oh, that is so f***ing comfortable, bruv! I am so glad, man. This room was f***ing expensive. But this bed is already worth it.
Over here I guess I'll go ahead and show you the little... You know, the little balcony area. Ahh, mate! This is sick! Look at this.
Surrounded by a f***ing coconut trees. And the pool is literally right there. And the beach is literally just behind there. And we even got our own private beach. And over here...
Bruv, look at this! This is a huge, huge area. And this is just just a bathroom. Look at this f***ing bathtub. Do you want to demonstrate again? Okay let’s go! Oh, yeah! Oh yeah, look at that! F***ing quality! Wait, let me get in as well.
How’re you doing? How’re you doing good looking... Ay hey!! I'm going to have to blur her foot I know some of you are weirdos. At this point, it’s probably a good time to tell you that this hotel cost me $600 just for two nights.
Ay caramba!!!! Don't get me wrong, it’s obviously super expensive, but it’s honestly worth it just to see her smile. Erm... kind of? So if you want to make sure I don't go broke as I make these videos, then all I ask you to do is just to hit the like button. Otherwise, I might have to start working the street corners just to pay for these videos. So I guess we're going to chill for a little bit. And then hopefully we'll go ahead and go outside when the weather is a little bit better.
How’re you feeling po? I am feeling good and happy and excited. B*llsh*t! Absolute f***ing b*llsh*t! Since the typhoon was getting worse, we decided to call it a night and pray for better weather in the morning. And just as if by sheer miracle it seemed that our prayers were finally answered. Looks like we got a little bit lucky. There's a little bit of window from the bad, bad weather.
So I really want to go ahead and check out what the beach looks like. Let's go ahead and wake up Ellie. Let’s see if she’s up for it.
Wake up, bake up. Stop! Put on your makeup. Let's get wasted! Stop! Give me 5 minutes I'm so tired. Let's go to the beach po.
Later You’re going to stay in bed for a bit later? Yeah, 5 minutes. Alright, I'll come back and pick you up in 5 minutes, okay? Love ya! Love ya! I then made my way to the beach only to experience one of the most incredible islands of my life. And it was at this point that the crazy reality of the situation hit me. What is there to complain about, man? I'm in probably the most incredible island I've ever been in on my life. And on top of that, look at the sand. Nice white sand.
Man Life really doesn't get better than this. And listen to this. All you hear is the ocean, the coconut trees and the native Filipino birds! Kokok! Kokok!! Koko! F*ck me, man! This is so nice! Obviously before coming here, I thought I'm going to be on one of the nicest beaches in the world. Obviously, I have to look the part. Unfortunately though, I was looking a little bit hairy and a little bit mangled. Obviously, I couldn't reach my shoulders with the shaver, so I thought, I’m going to go ahead and use the next best thing I know, which is hair removal cream.
So I did my shoulders. And look at that! Nice and sexy! Looking f***ing peng! The problem with hair removal cream is there’s no natural place to stop. So I thought, you know what, yeah? I might as well keep going. So I did my chest. And look at that! But the problem is my back is still very hairy because obviously I couldn't reach it.
So I'm going to have to find a way to get rid of that hair. Babe Yes? You know that you said you really like me, yeah? Mhm? Yeah? Yeah You did say that, right? Yeah Yeah, and that you will do anything for me? Mhm? Right? You also said that, right? Mhm? Can you do me a favor? What? Can you... Can you shave my back? What the f*ck?! I’m serious, I’m serious! Can you shave my back? Okay Alright I hate you! Is it weird for your boyfriend to ask you to shave his back on the first date? Yes, it’s weird! It’s weird? Hey f*ck you, man! You know what, yeah? I'll take that as a no. It's not weird. You know why? Because I'm a half full kind of guy.
That's just the kind of guy I am. Thank you though. I appreciate it. Having completely embarrassed myself, I decided it was probably time to start impressing my date. And so we headed to a nearby island so I can get over my fear of heights.
AHHH SH*T!! Aghh let's just hope I don't completely sh*t myself. So obviously as you can see, the weather has really not improved that much in Boracay island. So instead of being miserable and moaning about it, we're going to go ahead to the main island and do some fun activities. When life gives you lemon, my guy, you got to make some lemonade.
Two joints! Two joints! Alright, here we go! We’re nearly there. Oh yes, we made it. So right now we’re getting changed and unfortunately, Nadeline is stuck in the door. ( Try pushing the button, ma’am ) ( Is it stuck? ) ( Door’s stuck, I promise ) ( Try it opening it again ) Oh, you made it! ( That hurts! ) I thought you're gonna have to live there.
At this point, there was no going back. It was time to face my biggest fear. ( Good morning, brother ) ( Good morning! ) ( How’re you? ) ( I’m good ) How about you, sir? ( I’m good ) as well.
My brother! Gilas Pilipinas! Oh, yes! Clarkson! Clarkson yes sir! Oh, wow! Look at this. Wow this is scary, huh? Are you nervous? Here we go. Safety first. Feels secure
Yeah, feel safe huh? Very secure. Oh look at that, bruv! This thing is all rusty. Main thing I’m scared of was the health and safety, bruv! It's not even that zipline itself.
Alright guys, it was nice while it lasted. Okay po! Okay sir, ready? I love you, Lester! Oh, sh*t! AHH SH*T! OOOHH!! AHHH SH*T! F*CK! OH MY GOD! F*CK! Holy sh*t! Holy sh*t! Man, look at that! Ohhhh!! AAHHHH!! WAHHH!! Oh, sh*t! Ohh! Wawa wee wa! Very nice! Ohhh! I thought I died. There’s Nadeline. I don’t know if you guys can see her. Let’s go!!! Let’s go! AAHH! Oops, ma’am! You made it.
Wow, it’s... It's a nice... It's a nice swing, huh? How are you feeling? I’m scared! How’re you feeling po? ( I was nervous ) ( Nervous? ) And if you thought that experience was crazy, just wait until you see this one. Are people getting cooked here? Yeah! But it's not hot. It’s cold. I didn't know you can eat humans in the Philippines.
You can cook yourself and bulalo. Wow! Look at this! Guys, it is literally a pot where people sit down and get cooked. No, that thing’s crazy! After I confronted my biggest fear, it was time for my date to face hers by going on an ATV for the very first time in her life. Are you excited? I'm excited. Yeah? Are you excited? Look at that, bruv! The health and safety in the Philippines is no freaking joke. We even have knee pads as well.
Can we keep it later? It’s gonna come in useful. Crazy boy! Crazy Ali! Sexy girl! Sexy girl! Sexy girl! Look at this, bruv! Obviously, with the rain It's kind of a lot more slippery than usual. But I think it’s actually perfect for the ATVs. I wish I was wearing a bra like her as well. My t***ies are jiggling all over the place.
And not even five minutes after getting on the ATV, unfortunately, my date had a big crash. AHH!! There you go. I managed to catch it this time. Let’s f***ing go! Guys, it's her first time on an ATV so give her a break. I almost died. ( How’re you? ) Close to death po.
We're going to keep those, yeah? What?! We’re gonna keep those. How was that? Is that good? I’m happy. You liked it? Scared! With the adrenaline coursing through our bodies, we needed to calm things down by going parasending to have a relaxing time or so we thought.
Oh, sh*t! Holy sh*t! Holy sh*t! Oh, f*ck! Holy! I HATE YOU ALI!! Oh my days, bro! OOOHH!! Oh my days, bruv! Holy sh*t! I’m scared! No, just lean back. I’m scared. Lean back, don’t... Just lean back. Okay Yeah, lean back relax...
Like this? More more more. Relax Sit into it. But lean back. Lean back.
Yeah? Just open your eyes and enjoy it. Okay I just want to pray. Ah, you know what's coming up to mind? You know that song? ♪Watashi Wa Watashi♪ ♪Watashi♪ ♪( you son of a b*tch )♪ Oh my days, bruv. This is sick! Look at this. Wow Is that shark? Huh? Is that a shark? I don't know. Oh sh*t, there’s a shark! Feet check! Feet check! Dirty No, my feet is better than yours bruv! No Yours is all mangled up and sh*t.
What?! Stupid! Look at that. That is the perfect specimen of a foot. Ready to land? Yeah! Yeah baby! Look at this landing. We’re gonna ace it. Sir, stand up. Stand up? Yeah, yeah, yeah, stand up.
And after a full day of fun activities, I thought it was probably time to get to know my date a little bit better. And so we decided to have a really romantic picnic on the beach. But first I wanted to tip our tour guide for looking after us. $100 Thanks so much for looking after us.
I really appreciate it. Guys If you want to book any activities on Boracay make sure you have Lester. Really looked after us and gave us a very good deal as well. Thank you so much! Thank you po! I appreciate it. So we made it to the beach and we're going to have a really, really nice dinner slash picnic.
Yes! Guys, this... this is special. Look at this man. We even have a special guest.
We got the sun. Not you, not you. They’ve seen you already! How beautiful is this? The beautiful white sand... And me! Move... And me! Get out of the way. The beautiful island beautiful sand...
And me! And a beautiful Filipina! Ayay! Sexy girl! Sexy girl! Red Horse! Yeah, so... This is gonna be our picnic and as you can see... Oh, yeah! Really nice pizza. Really f***ing nice pizza. So we got a nice margarita pizza. And over here we got some sort of Italian pasta with shrimp.
We got a bunch of snacks some cheesy snacks. A peach drink. A Red Horse because Ellie is an alcoholic. No, what the f*ck? You! Every 5 minutes, “Oh, I need a Red Horse” F*ck yeah! Get in my belly! God d*mn! It's worth the $18 Obviously, we’re in a 5 star hotel.
So they we're gonna charge extra. But honestly, it’s f***ing worth it! Mmm! Look at that! Even my leg gets to eat as well. Guys obviously, one of the things that you need to do when you're having a picnic is to feed your lady. You need to make sure that she feels really, really good and she feels nice and comfortable.
Open your mouth. No!! Come on, open it big and wide! Wow, you’re so greedy bro! F***ing hell! Leave some for me. F*ck you! You’re gonna pay for that later tonight. No I'm gonna do the same to you. Is it good? What the hell? You know what? I heard that the reason that they call it Red Horse is because it makes you kick like a horse.
At this point, it was obvious that there was a physical attraction between us. But I still wasn't sure if we were emotionally compatible. And so I needed to ask this question. Why have you been single for so long? I’m busy right now for my graduation. You're busy? Yeah Busy! Busy? Busy! We've been out for three days, how busy can you be? So... What would you say your usual type is? Like, is it a foreigner man or is a Filipino? Or what kind of things do you go for? Anything...
My ideal man is kind. Yeah? Gentleman Yeah? And also honest. Honest as well? But okay... So those are all personality traits. What about looks wise? What does he need to look like? Look like Ali. How would you say that this date has been going so far? Be very honest! It's fun Yeah? Exciting Yeah? And romantic for me.
Yeah Yeah Really? And also Ali's very sexy. Say that as well. Ali is very sexy! See I mean I didn’t tell her that. Is this... Would you say this is like, the most spontaneous day that you had? Yes, yes! Yeah? To be honest. I mean to be honest with you, it’s probably the same for me.
I mean, I've never flown to another island sat on the beach, right in the middle of a thunderstorm to have a date. So... Yeah, this is probably the most spontaneous for me as well, man. Fit check! Give us a little twirl. Woooo!!! Sexy girl! As we continued to enjoy the sunset I really needed to up the ante and to make our romantic date a memorable one.
Unfortunately for my date though, this is what I had in mind. So obviously guys, whenever you are out on a romantic date, especially one with this grandeur, what you really need to do is to set the scene. So you need to play something very romantic. So babe, I'm going to play something really special to me.
Okay It really means a lot. I hope by the end of this date this song will mean to you as much as it does for me. ♪Meow meow meow meow♪ ♪Meow meow meow meow meow♪ That is..
♪Meow meow meow meow♪ That is what you call heaven. No guys obviously, I was joking. That isn’t my favorite song. This is my favorite song! You must know this one.
If you don’t know this one then... F*ck me bruv. You don’t know game.
No rizz! Nothing You got nothing going for you. You know this one? Yeah Ey! ♪ Tata ta ta♪ ♪tata ta ta♪ ♪ta ta♪ ♪ Tata ta ta♪ ♪tata ta ta♪ ♪ta ta♪ ♪Watashi Wa Watashi♪ ♪Watashi♪ ♪ ( you son of a b*tch ) ♪ ♪Stay with me♪ ♪Mayonaka no doa o tataki♪ ♪Kaeranaide to naita♪ ♪Nidome no fuyu ga kite♪ Alright guys, and that is how you dance to that watashi watashi song ( you son of a b*tch ) At this point, both of us were enjoying our date. But just as our picnic was ending, it seemed that our picnic wanted to end me instead. Oh sh*t! Bruv! I don't know if you guys heard that, but a coconut fell like 5 meters away from there. And I'm not one to exaggerate or anything, but if I was 5 meters that way and like another meter to the left, and like, right...
right beneath that rock, I could have died. Are you enjoying the date po? Yes po Yeah? And I’m enjoying your b**bs po. It’s so big po.
Look at that! Hey hey hey hey! They’re gonna have to pay for that. OnlyFans coming up soon. My videos are being demonetized my Facebook has been demonetized for 2 years so you know... Man's got to pay for these dates somehow. Alright, my turn? No no no no! How dare you? I promise you, a lot of my videos have been getting demonetized. So if you want me to afford a second date, then all I ask you to do is just to hit the like button.
Look at this f***ing sunset, bruv! Peng! It is sick, innit? After a very romantic picnic, I started to panic. As I slowly started to realize that I'm not even halfway to my objectives to make sure this is a successful date. And so we headed to the heart of the town to play basketball, which is the national sport of the Philippines. If I get it in, it means our love will last forever! Yes, go! F*ck! This one is for the Philippines! Let's go! Yeah!! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go, there you go! At least we scored one each! Bruv, she’s beating my score by far! I don't want to include this in the video. But I am... She’s 5, I got 2.
Let’s go! Well done! Having completely embarrass myself, we decided to call it a night and headed back to the hotel in a taxi. In what was a very unusual ride. Brother I don't know if you know But you got a knife stuck to your head. Crazy! Look at that! How much is it, sir? ( $4 ) Free? ( $4 ) Free hundred? I’m joking, I’m joking. $9 Keep the tip.
Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. Have a good night! Yeah, thank you! And make sure you take care of that thing. Thank you ( brother ) He is jokes! We then woke up early in the morning to hit the beach together. But let's just say the typhoon had other ideas. This is easily...
AHH! Are you alright? Yeah, what the f*ck! Don’t die just yet... Oh, sh*t! Oh, sh*t!! Oh, f***ing hell! Ah, I’m getting f*cked up! Alright, well... I was envisioning this scene was gonna be super romantic.
Not wanting to drown my date, we decided to go to the hotel's swimming pool. And believe you me, it was one of the most incredible pools I’ve seen in a while. Look at this, bruv! Look how big this pool is.
So you got one big one over here. Another big one over there. A third one over there. And I think they got like 2 or 3 different jacuzzis over there. This is genuinely the biggest and probably the nicest pool I've ever been in.
Babe? Did you trust me? Yes 100%! Trust fall! Crazy boy! What did you say? Crazy boy Are you sure you want to say that? Yeah, crazy boy. Are you sure? Yes, crazy boy! I think you might regret saying that. No Are you sure? Yeah What the f*ck? We then spent a couple of hours in the pool enjoying ourselves.
But there was just one problem. We completely forgot our flight and in a crazy panic, we started to rush to the airport. Now we are rushing to the airport because obviously me being me I left everything last minute. So we’re basically racing through the Boracay traffic. I think it's going to take us one hour to get to the airport, and the flight is probably like, half an hour after that.
So we are definitely rushing it. As we raced through the Filipino traffic, with only one hour left to our flight, it seemed that it was inevitable that we were going to miss it. So, off the boat and now we're gonna get a van all the way to the airport. Let's go! Move, move, come, come! Alright let’s go! We’re cutting it short. Thank you sir! Thank you Let's go! Take care, sir. Thank you! And after what seemed like an eternity of delays, we finally made it to the airport.
Still unsure if we made it on time. Is this the biggest check-in bag you've seen? Everyone's so confused. Luckily for us though, we made it just in time. We made it with just about 10 minutes before boarding closes. Man, that was f***ing lucky! Very very close.
And guys, I went ahead and booked Air Asia again because I really wanted to go ahead and show you their sexy uniform. Good afternoon, sir. Good afternoon, sir. Nah, these men are taking the piss, bruv! Every time I want to show you their uniform, there's two dudes out here. Just trust me. It's very good uniform.
Let’s see if you remember the handshake that I taught you. You remember it very well. As we enjoyed the sunset flying back to Manila, I was feeling very apprehensive. While we had an incredible date, and we got to grow a special connection.
I still had the objective of getting a second date for free, which made me very nervous. You remember our song together? Yes 1, 2, 3, 4! ♪Watashi Wa Watashi♪ ♪Watashi (you son of a b*tch!)♪ At this point there was no going back and it was time to find out if I managed impress my date enough to get a second date for free. Where is our bag? There it is! Your big bag! That is so ridiculous! Alright, so I guess this really is the end of our date. So babe, I got one more question for you. Yes? Would you like to have another date? But the next date is gonna be for free. I’m not paying for you.
Yes Yes? Yes Alright Buh-bye po! Buh-bye po! Love ya! Love ya! F*ck did I say “I love you”? What a d*ckhead! Don’t get me wrong obviously this is a crazy and an unusual experience. But if you really want to see what normal life is like in the Philippines, then I recommend you click this video that I specially selected for you.
2025-01-08 09:37
