BBBB - "EUROSONG" (Full episode)


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Want me to say a prayer for him? I don’t know bro, what’s the use? At least we should give a speech to honor the deceased. It’s customary. Ićo, Ivan, was an alright guy... A Good pal, bro... Intelligent, always by your side when there’s trouble... We will remember him for his deep hatred for cops... He didn’t let anyone mess with him, or his folks... He did love drugs though, more than he should have, and that cost him his life in the end.

Bruda, bro, some dude, I roughed him up just in case, he says he’s looking for you. What’s wrong with you, Ado, let the lad go, you can’t fuck up everyone who comes near you. Are you insane, yo? Talk! Where you at Bruda, I was looking for you? I see you’ve lost your colleague. Accept my condolences. I know it’s not the right time or place, but you’ve been invited to represent Bosnia and Herzegovina at Eurovision, in Italy. Throw him in with Ićo. - Yeah, yeah, but see the Father sent for you, Bruda... Bruda, bro, just say the word, I swear...

Did you get that baton off your old man? Ićo, bro, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be dead, bro? I just fell asleep, I took 56 downers... Nodded off bro, grounded myself... I have some good news. I’m having a baby in January... Amina is pregnant, dude, can you believe it? There was not much happening on the far edge of one of the city’s municipalities, with the exception of Bruda receiving an offer to represent B&H at the upcoming Eurovision in Italy. An offer he could not refuse. My dad slapped me so hard last night, bro, my head is still ringing... But never mind that, have you heard the chorus Bruda had written for that Eurovision.

Listen to this, listen: “Snow, Snow, has my body tingling, a liter and a half of gin, it’s all I need”... Aah, what do you say, pussies, aah? Aaaaah, it’s lit, lit, lit, lit. I swear. Throw in some H for good measure... Well, Bruda, I’m not so sure about that... It’s a competition where you represent your country and nation after all...

I don’t need to listen to you, moron, I have 25 albums under my belt, 200 singles, what country, yo, this hood is our state, and Bruda is its general. You’re such a moron, Bruda... Since you accepted to participate in a parade of bad taste and kitsch, you should use the occasion to send a clear message about life in the hood, and maybe expose the mechanisms behind the rotten music industry.

I can’t believe it... This is what international police have become. What are we doing here? And why are we watching these idiots for days? I think we don’t have a case! Don’t you understand, the short burly one is the son of Tasim Horror the Father. Tasim Horror the Father is a close associate of Antonio Bonjourno, the man we’ve had an arrest warrant issued against for twenty years. - Yeah, so what? Tasim Horror the Father is paying B&H’s participation fee for Eurovision and he’s sending his son, Dženan Horror Bruda, as a representative... A drug dealer! That’s not suspicious to you at all? Well, honestly, I don’t agree, I think Europe needs to be reminded of the 90s victims, and that Sarajevo had been the victim of the longest siege in the history of modern warfare... Bro, I don’t give a fuck about any of that, you should shut up since you don’t have a clue about what’s going on here yo.

I wanna do a job for my old man, have some fun, so go and fuck off, moron! Do you remember last year and what Bonjourno had done to us with the Cannes Film Festival? We got fucked royally, and when I was telling you that Cannes was just a cover, everyone in the unit made fun of me, and told me I watch too many cartoons. What’s our next stop? Remember well how this man looks. That’s Mersuding Alifugo, a war veteran. Trijeosman says that he will definitely be driving Taksim’s boy and his crew to Italy. I must take off sunglasses from my face... I think we... have a case. Don’t get me wrong, Father... but we went over budget. You’ll excuse me Haris, let me finish my thought.

When the Museums’ roofs were leaking, who do you think financed the repairs? The Father did. - You’re interrupting me, Haris. When the theaters were falling apart, who renovated the facades... You did, Father... - Please let me finish, Haris.. It hurts me when you say that your vision does not fit within the limits of the budget, when my budget is limitless just like my love for the arts and artists. Of course Father, there is no question of your... - Please let me finish what I have to say, Haris.

What I’m concerned with in my line of work is the full realization of your vision. Truth be told, our associates - my Dženan and his punks - are nothing to write home about, but they are important for this plan of mine, which is a part of our plan, which is a part... Well I think they’re great, but... The way we figured out the suitcase thing is good, I like it...

What I don’t like, however, is Dženan’s song, but what can you do when he doesn’t speak English... - Ehhh just like you say Father, I was just waiting for you to say it. I am sorry for interrupting, Father, here’s a small token of gratitude from the academic painter Suad Sućeska, and my gift... a ditty performed by my choir Sultan Buhtlica, for everything you have done for us when our country had left us high and dry... One and two and three and... Father is being released from prison today... Father is being released from prison today... I believe I have a solution for the chorus problem.

What do you think, Haris? Dženan and Sultan Buhtlice, huh? How does that sound? Sing, Haris... Father is being released from prison today... Bruda, my sweetness, see I’m in a bit of a trouble... Bruca is insisting on his lines... I have this feeling we’re not on the same wavelength... What do you think is better, your unbiased opinion, “Bosnia utopia social liberal”, that’s Bruca’s moronic lines, or “Bosnia national autonomy?” What do you think, aah... You be the judge... I think it fucking sucks, but I don’t wanna debate the Father anymore, he’s a difficult dude...

We need a word that rhymes with national and liberal, even better if it’s in English, you know? General... General Bruda, I like that one... Aaah didn’t we say we’re not writing a chorus about you? I don’t give a fuck yo I want it to end with “General Bruda,” I don’t care about what comes before. Does “chill” rhyme with “liberal?” Or sausage sausagoni chilloni, aaah? We have everything in a single place, guys. The sublimation of all artistic styles ever... Listen up, dude, I didn’t come here to get harassed.

Bruda, is it OK if I burn him with a flare bro? Respect the expert’s advice bro... Cooperate. Alright. Alright. Let’s go over choreography. Can I ask a question while we’re doing choreography? Whose in charge of the atmosphere? Who will light the flares? Never mind that, never mind. We’ll try it out and see. 1,2,3, and!

Bruda, ŠVR ding dong. We came to demolish this Eurovision... Wait up! Wait up! Wait up! This will not do. What’s your name, boy? That move of yours is a bit undefined. Hare, Hare, listen to this... I’m sitting on the sidelines, watching in disbelief. What do you think, bro? Could be really good. Maybe I take some pills as well.

To illustrate the youth’s problem with drugs. I could be the message. Point out the problem of drug addiction in society... Brilliant! I’ll take it! Bring me an armchair for Ićo! Let’s try this part with the suitcase... So it’s important that we all understand what the suitcase represents. I see it as a metaphor for a business contract with a brighter future, get it? Look, I appreciate what you’re doing here bro, but interrupt me one more time and I’ll unhinge your shoulder yo...

Alright, alright, no problem. I’ll quit and leave it up to you to figure out with the Father who’ll take over... Hold on, wait up, slow down yo... It’s not that I don’t respect you, I swear, but I really don’t get the deal with this suitcase. Can you explain it to me bro? What’s with the extra fluff, bro? My art has always striven to express a single thing: that all of you should suck my dick dry. Fine, the suitcase is important, we’ll have the suitcase. Here, I’ll take the suitcase with me...

Look, I’ve been doing this job for thirty years and I can tell you from experience that art is most powerful when no one understands it... No one! I, for one, definitely don’t understand it. - That’s exactly what they want. The suitcase is obviously a message from the Father to Bonjourno, like some kind of an invitation to make a deal. - Moving on: who among you has had experience in performing in front of an audience... And I’ll need a volunteer for the key scene with the suitcase. Urgently. It’s like that time when my mom registered me for a singing competition. I was supposed to sing “Ivana” by Leo

but I fell into a bucket filled with MDMA... My jaw became numb I was supposed to perform before a packed audience parents came you know such an awkward situation bro, I’m singing Ivana Ivana... and she’s singing Suno Suno...

Lads, listen up, I’m sorry for messing with your vibes, but you should know that we’ll be at the border of the European Union in ten minutes, you should ease up, prepare your passports. I’ll mark it here on top so it can be easily seen, just in case. I don’t have my passport, bro.

Will the soccer club member card do? Would you listen to this moron, he didn’t take the passport. Let me see who else doesn’t have their documents, fuckwits. Let’s see those hands! Wait up so I can stea... - Quiet yo, hey! Bruda, there’s a fella trailing us since Doboj. Golf Mk5. We already have enough evidence. If you’re satisfied with small fish you’ll arrest them now. But if you want to catch the big one you’ll do everything in your power to get them across that border.

Džile, bro, I ran into your old man in the elevator yesterday. Yeah, so what? Nothing, just saying. - You should have let him fuck you. He’s carrying this bag bro, you know. Talking on the phone. And it’s raining cats and dogs outside. And then Ićo is paranoid. C’mon, deal with the border issue.

Slavonski Brod border cross? Inspector Horacio, Interpol. Operation Michelangelo. Let the yellow van through without any searches. Roger! - Great. Now I just need to figure out how to infiltrate their ranks. Here’s the song that will represent Bosnia and Herzegovina at the upcoming Eurovision. Bruda and the song “General!” The representatives of B&H continue to disgrace us: “A gas pump in Slovenia has been robbed!” A yellow melon-car with Bosnian registration plates is wreaking havoc on the highway! “Driving 240 km/h.” Haris Rukica reveals the concept behind B&H performance: “If anything should kill us, it will be art!” A terrible tragedy. I’ve always said that, if anything should ruin Italy, it will be tourism.

This hotel has stood for three hundred years, my greatgreatgreatgrandfather Luigi Medici had founded it, and gave it to me... It has been visited by gentlemen like Frank Sinatra, Jim Morrison... Goran Bregović... Look, fella, I love Dženan as if he were my own blood, friend, but sometimes I get the urge, believe it or not, to strangle him with my bare hands... He’s so insolent, darn it.

Yo, bro, this hangover is killing me, I swear... What’s up with that breakfast, huh? Some hotel where you’re left to manage breakfast on your own, bro... What’s all this? Show me the city center so Bruda can have some fun. Horejšio Kejn Onterfol here! I repeat. Do not intervene!

And that was La Cucaracha from North Parazuela. Now we’re going to backstage... Agent in position. Operation Michelangelo can commence! What is your song about? It’s about our childhood, babe, about what we have gone through, about life on the streets, about survival, there’s mention of some people with whom I’ve gone through a lot, for example Kesko, Fiks, my bros, who wouldn’t be where they are now if it weren’t for me... How did the war influence your childhood? You know how it is, babe, the war has made us stronger, I grew up overnight, some kids skip grades, I skipped my childhood, you know, I started working at an early age and, thank god, I have made so many enemies since that we can’t walk the streets unarmed anymore yo.

Horacio, Horacio, two of them are hooked. I’ll let you know when I have more info. Thank you, sweetheart... Let me ask you this: Is it true that you two are really, really dangerous guys? Look here pussycat I’m probably one of the toughest guys in the region... Just search for Ajnur Varijantaš and see what comes up... nothing will come up, which just proves that I’m pulling the strings from the shadows.

It’s not so much that I’m a tough guy but let’s just say that a lot of people would like to get rid of me. And the theme of your song is also crime, am I right? Still, I don’t really understand some things about your performance. I do understand it’s art, but what exactly is the part with the suitcase supposed to mean? Look here, dolly, the suitcase was one of my ideas, you know, so folks think that it has some deeper meaning, but it’s actually a method I use to do business... get it, pussycat?

I wouldn’t say it like that. When I came up with the idea for the suitcase, I wanted to send some subtle messages, like the fact that this whole competition is just a cover for money laundering, you know? Look here, beautiful, the things are actually much simpler... There are about three and a half tons of my cocaine in that suitcase, and the performance is just a cover for doing a transaction with my international associates...

So what do you think about going out to a little dinner with me afterward... Urgent, urgent, urgent. We’ve been on the wrong trail this whole time. The transaction of goods will occur in the middle of Bosnia’s performance as part of the choreography. Here comes Hare, my bro, sit with us, Hare... A genius, bro, an artist, the greatest this country has ever seen...

Bruda you legend, we’re performing in five minutes... There’s just one small intervention. So, the Father has insisted that at one point Sultan Buhtlice... It’s Father’s orders. I can’t believe this Here I go. Move so I can lie down!

What’s up with all this, Tasim, what kind of music is this, what’s wrong with them? My dear Antonio, don’t ask me anything. Things were different in our time. But when the wave of bad taste and trash rises, you need to know how to ride it. Capisci? And we, evidently, are not only riding it but making it follow our directions. Aaaahh top notch, I swear! - I must take off sunglasses from my face. I think we don’t solve the case. Let them go! So, tell me this. You cooperated with this man. Would you recommend working with him? Uhhhh... Well, I don’t know what to tell you. He’s not all right in the head, but he’s honest when it comes to business. I’ll add you to the Viber group with him.

He, myself, and Kim Jong Il. Chavez has just kicked the bucket, so we can finally discuss serious matters in the group. Cheers. Want me to say a prayer for him, bro? - I don’t know bro, what’s the use? It was art that killed him, he probably took it with him to the afterlife. He certainly took his interpretations along as well, and we are left to forever wonder: “What was Rukica actually trying to say?” Ruuuuukeeeee! Rukicaaaa Hariiis! Rukicaaaa Haris!

2022-05-12 02:47

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