America's First Black Aviatrix • Puppet History
foreign [Music] puppet history today we're taking an Ever winding look at yet another chapter in the heavy heavy book we call history well our guests ruthlessly compete for the Covenant title of History master I'm your beloved little host the professor thank you Ryan bergara are you ready just another day in paradise that's right special guest Ryan Graham are you ready I'm very very excited about meeting you in person yeah this is the first time we've hung out I'm curious what is this metal box that you have I feel like it's scary I feel like I should be concerned about this box it's kind of weird and no no keeping me out no no no no are you sure nothing to be concerned about he wants to know about it we should just see what's inside the Box oh you step away I'm sorry Professor well you think that's you think that intimidates me I could be silent too watch you guys ready to learn let's learn nonetheless Kraken [Applause] well you know what we actually ran into this last time when we had our little Zoom season but I think if memory serves me the protocol here is to go with Ryan for Ryan Graham and beef boy for our little Beef Boy actually it's beef man Now ladies and gentlemen beef man all right now to begin have either of you ever been on an airplane yeah oh yeah love flying what's the craziest thing you've done on an airplane the craziest thing well I mean drinking the water on an airplane because apparently it's really oh yeah don't order the coffee on the airplane because it's bad it's poop water I drink coffee on every airplane I get on okay okay today it's easy to take for granted how easy it is to spit in God's face and soar like Angels Above the Clouds of course it wasn't always like that especially if you weren't a rich white guy buckle up because today we're talking about the first black aviatrix Bessie Coleman oh that is so exciting wow I did not know that's what we're going to be talking about what are you talking about I'm very very pumped Bessie Coleman was born January 26 1892 in the small town of Atlanta Texas wait did you say Atlanta Texas yes all right that's what I was confused they got one too they got a hotlanta in Texas wow it's probably hotter it's probably a hotter oh [ __ ] that's the hottest land yeah honestly do they have a Coke there the Coca-Cola factory maybe they probably don't have a factory but I bet you can get a Coke ah I do love that before she was two years old her family moved 30 miles south of Dallas to Waxahachie Texas Bessie excelled at school from an early age and when her father left town when she was only nine Betsy helped tend to her three younger sisters while her mother Susan worked so her dad left though but so she's like was Mom number two basically yeah just sort of shouldering some of the responsibility I guess late 1800s you were lucky if most of your family made it to next year exactly you got to have some insurance kids right you know just in case a tree falls on one of them what do you eating drugs okay even despite suffering cow gnities in the Jim Crow South Bessie was determined to do something great with her life in 1910 at the age of 18 that's he enrolled in the colored Agricultural and normal university in Langston Oklahoma unfortunately Bessie ran out of money after only one semester her dreams of a formal education dashed almost before they had even begun Bessie had no choice but to return to her family and Waxahachie how did Bessie return to Waxahachie a on her first airplane ride which almost crashed twice fee so depressed she didn't speak for 10 months orsi with a marching band I really wish it was C that sounds like a fun option I would love to just walk around with the marching band that would be something [ __ ] sick it's uh that's how Beyonce does it oh yeah in like a natural just win like she calls the wind with her presence yeah it happens okay are we locked in beef man let's go with a okay for Aviation arrival oh I got a lot of A's in there that's fun good alliteration yeah I'll give you a jelly bean sure that she was like super sad because I feel like it had been way too early for black people to be on planes right yeah yeah I guess also she could have been both on a plane and soup set that's so true maybe it's a and b yeah you guys ever been sat on a plane yeah lots every time oh my God what this is trauma there's so much drama that we're going through right now points to neither of you what in an early example of Bessie's unconquerable will when she learned a local church was throwing a homecoming party for her despite falling well short of a degree Bessie resolved to provide the music in the form of the Langston band Bessie wanted to make something of herself and she wasn't gonna let little setbacks like running out of money keep her spirits down that's called Falling forward that's Moxie baby I like that that's super cool she's like I'm just gonna throw a party she's like I'm not gonna be sad you're gonna come back and it's gonna be a rager that's all I want to do now anytime I fail I just want a marching band to show up and be like whatever he's gonna do more baby that's like such a flex too like you're just like oh yeah you think I'm gonna be a loser no here's a fan baby I like it back home Bessie began working as a laundress what's that you do laundry oh yeah but she knew she would have to leave Waxahachie again to achieve her dreams all right now stop me if you've heard this one before but Bessie had to move home and bust her ass at a job she didn't love to save up some cash before her next big move with little more than her outsized dreams keeping her moving forward for the next four or five years Bessie's dreams were stoked by the printed words in the Chicago Defender one of the most important black newspapers in the early 1900s the Chicago Defender boasted a circulation up upwards of a quarter of a million by its peak Bessie read copies brought South by railroad Porters taking to Heart the paper's message to quit the south for the North in the great migration in 1915 at the age of 23 Bessie set off for Chicago where her brothers Walter 35 and John 29 already lived with their wives Jesus she had quite the separation and age from her brothers uh 29 35. she's 23 that's six years yeah I feel like that there's a good spread like they spread it out to where it's like you know this kid's successful let's have another yeah we did good let's do another yeah yeah this one was fine or maybe we didn't plan to do another there and um that's right that's right you just can't keep it all in you can't keep it all in I know right you know what good job I'll give it a little Jelly Bean for the beef man what did you say it like that in Chicago Bessie began hanging out at nightclubs and mingling with the upper echelons of the black community such as the Chicago Defenders founder and publisher Robert Abbott to pay the rent she found work as a manicurist in a barber shop doing men's nails while Charming her customers into fat ass tips I love that I love that the guys back in whenever we said 19 early 1900s were not overly masculine enough to be like I'm against getting a manicure you know what I mean when do we regress we're gonna we're men but it's like motorcycle theme yeah I'm like what like dude you're still getting a manicure calm down it's fine bro I want a mani pedi I've really came in here to have my nails done how your cuticles looking a mine are pretty bad right now even as a manicurist Bessie excelled with an article in the Chicago Defender proclaiming her black Chicago's best and fastest manicurist still doing nails was not the particular flavor of greatness that Bessie had had in mind for herself black women are always like we are on it we're gonna do the best we're gonna do the best at everything we do like it's even a job that she doesn't even want I was like acclaimed I was just about to say this is a story about her being the first Aviator we're talking about her being the best manicurist yeah I imagine whatever she did she would be the best at it exactly at the age of 27 after almost five years in Chicago Bessie was still preoccupied with amounting to something the only question was what her answer finally came one day from an unlikely Source her brother John stumbling drunk into the barbershop where she worked what did John tell Bessie a news of Amelia Earhart's successful flight across the Atlantic be beef he just bought a plane from some guy in a bar or see that she wasn't [ __ ] compared to French ladies he met in World War One wow okay well certainly not that she's not shady she's the best manicurist and the fastest manicure she can't be not [ __ ] um it's a tough one yeah yeah okay all right sure thanks man what do you got I went with a anything you can do I can do better I like that and Ryan I also put a she heard about Earhart points to no one damn it was it C it was c not what I knew it I think what you're forgetting is that he's her older that's what I was saying is that's totally sounds like something a sibling would say but exactly I should have went with my instinct stupid oh it's okay well we have to imagine it wasn't good fun but like all great older brothers John was there when Bessie was at her lowest to absolutely roast her ass telling her that the French women he'd met while serving overseas were far superior to the gals he knew in Chicago they had careers he told her and even flew planes and that was all Bessie needed to hear that's it she said to have proclaimed you just called it for me what a dick do you have any brothers Professor um you have a family a family anybody that looks like you I may have a long time ago but the memory oh my God Professor you do you need a hug I feel no don't touch it okay well sorry okay moving along nay nay oh hey there I'm just clapping in real quick to thank one dream for sponsoring today's episode oh we love the folks at wondriam genuinely it's a really great brand fit uh-huh hey professor I've been inconsolable ever since my sweet husband Stanley Murphy Melvin perished but at the same time a horse woman has needs and so I've been hitting the dating scene looking to get some action from some studs yeah dating isn't easy though and you know what I've found after trotting around town with an endless parade of absolute hot dolts intelligence is what really gets my numerous knees wobbling and that's where one dream comes in one dream searches far and wide to bring you trusted respected and inspiring experts and non-fiction storytellers who have led over 6 000 hours of video courses documentaries and series they've got a carefully curated collection of short and long form videos tutorials how to's travelogues documentaries and more hey you want to learn about Prague how about checking out the great tours experiencing Medieval Europe hosted by Renaissance historian Kenneth Bartlett in which he takes you on a thrilling tour of some of prague's most 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I the first person to do anything I am the first person to successfully and then unsuccessfully murder a puppet that's true allegedly yeah like everything ever however this was easier said than done a hundred years ago you didn't just enroll in Pilot School if you wanted to learn to fly you had to track down a pilot who would take you up and show you how to not crash Bessie needed a pilot but since almost all of those were white males and since almost all of those were openly and proudly racist it proved literally impossible for Bessie to get any time whatsoever in a cockpit man talk about barriers of injury yeah Jesus I was like why does racism have to stop so many things like what would happen if we all just like didn't do it except it didn't stop her though oh you're right Ryan it sounds like you're arguing I think actually racism no this is the exception to the rule right right yeah exception to the rules yeah Betsy brought this problem to her Social Circle specifically Robert Abbott seeing an opportunity to increase circulation in the story of a young black woman becoming a pilot Abbott encouraged Bessie to lean even further into her brother's insults learn to fly in France where they're at least a little less racist Betsy enrolled in French classes and left her manicurist job to manage a chili parlor where she could earn more money still and this remains true today it's hard to earn enough money to move to France and enroll in flying school on a chili parlor manager's salary alone sounds good to work at a chili parlor oh God I'm out of business because I'd be eating it all I know what you're saying there I hate all chili I'm not a beans guy so not a beans guy yeah no no no what about jelly beans I love a jelly bean here you go have one nice nice some of Bessie's well-off contacts like Robert Abbott chipped in fights and on November 20th 1920 Bessie Coleman set sail from New York City to France in France Bessie immediately had a problem the flight school she chose refused to admit her why a because she was black B because she was a woman or C because she was an American well I mean to be fair he's got a little less racist and I'm like I mean how racists are pretty everywhere but yeah she's black yeah okay I'm locked yeah beef man all of the above okay I also said all the above wow we've been on the same wave I just want to be clear I really don't do trick questions around here oh but you did this time didn't you points to neither of you sounds like a lie honestly no you've been giving us any points this time so no no points according to Bessie quote I first went to Paris and decided on a school but the first two which I applied would not take women because two women had lost their lives at the game what they were like ah no more of that like we've had two women died flying planes so they were like I guess women weren't meant to be in the sky oh like they have the smallest sample size and they're like a hundred percent of women can't fly no these women were not meant to spread their wings that sounds very German these women well never letting us set back get her down busy applied to France's most famous flight school oh here comes some French and was accepted into their seven month program every day Bessie had to walk nine miles to get from her room to the Airfield nine miles yeah that's a that's a waste that sounds like one of those like old people things were like oh I had to walk it's buried it does sound like that it's not real that's not real Is that real you know what though maybe that's just how it was and that's why old people always were like yeah we did that we didn't have you know those little bird Scooters or Lyft yeah geez once at the Airfield Bessie then had to fly a plane I guess that's obvious but let's make sure we're on the same page for what flying a plane meant in 1921. that's he learned on a French Newport type 82 a biplane that predated World War One made out of wood cloth wire and pressed cardboard with a bit of Steel and aluminum tossed in for good measure there was no steering wheel there was no brake there wasn't even a roof you flew open to the elements your only form of control was wrestling with two sticks a baseball bat between your legs to keep from flipping over sideways and a bar at your feet to control the yard all the while hot castor oil would fly off the engine in a yellow Mist coating your face and goggles back on the ground the plane could only stop courtesy of a metal spike in the tail of the plane that would dig into the Earth in short it was a depth track but that did not deter Bessie even after witnessing one of her classmates die in an accident at as Bessie said quote it was a terrible shock to my nerves but I never lost them I kept going anybody who flew a plane during this era deserves the Congressional Medal of Honor yeah that sounds [ __ ] insane all of that sounds like you're going to die I'm like that's not women's fault that just sounds awful why did anyone fly if you sit in a seat made out of wood that's in the sky you're out of your mind on June 15 1921 Bessie Coleman earned her pilot's license from the Federation International the first African-American woman in history with such distinction she sailed back to the States and on September 3rd 1922 at Glenn Curtis field in Garden City New York Bessie Coleman flew in her first American Air Show to a crowd of between 1 000 and 3 000 Spectators with her brother one of them and was he like [ __ ] himself I sure hope so I would make sure he has a front row seat [ __ ] you John rewarding Robert Abbott's early financial support Bessie gave a full account of her time in France to his Chicago Defender Betsy quickly and naturally stepped up as the role model she never had challenging others saying quote we must have aviators if we are to keep up with the times I shall never be satisfied until we have men of the race who can fly do you know you have never lived until you have flown of course it takes one with courage nerve and ambition but I am thrilled to know we have men who are physically fit now what is needed is men who are not afraid of death she's calling everybody shots be like get the [ __ ] up in those planes I also love that she lifts up other people that is like they say that like when you lift up a woman women tend to lift up other people way more than men do so I'm like it's cool that she's like I'm in this space you know what I'm gonna do make other people also be in this yeah having already made history Bessie now faced a more persistent challenge money as having a pilot's license was not the same as having a job so so how did Bessie plan to earn a living a as an Entertainer b as a commercial pilot or c as a flight instructor I would love that she just suddenly like she's like I've done this flight school and now I'm going to become like an Entertainer yeah like Top Gun that's what I would like to have happened but did it actually happen yep okay peace man I'm gonna go with C they wouldn't want her to fly them but they'd be like I guess you could teach I said c as well the student becomes a teacher well this is a moment for celebration because we've got a Sea Dogs Out There [Music] we're not moving along until you bark [Music] I hate myself so much right now points two neither of you oh great after all that what's up you said you were nice that's actually quite mean he's laughing like the Joker commercial airlines as we think of them were still a ways off and to be a flight instructor you had to have a plane which Bessie did not that left entertainment planes were after all still pretty new and people were more than willing to pay to watch Pilots defy death just like when Segways came out oh wait a second you tricked us I thought when you said Entertainer you meant just nothing to do with flying yeah I was thinking like she became like a jazz singer yeah that's what I was thinking I never said that well that's something I never said that this was a misleading question no no no no it's a poorly worded question yeah yeah it was pretty bad I think that was bad I think that one's on you yeah what did I say she did as soon as she got to the states as soon as she got to the shades shut up at their Peak air shows could draw up to 50 000 people and for an additional fee Spectators could even hop into a plane for a short ride with the Barnstormers after the show with a full understanding that she was in the entertainment business Bessie began promoting and self-dramatizing she told the New York Times that she had learned to fly during World War One when she was in France with a red cross unit a lie that nevertheless enhanced her draw what's a little embellishment a little embellishment you know I feel like the best entertainers of that way Marilyn Monroe was that way her story has always been dramatized that's what social media is you know she's just like an OG influencer well after her first shows Bessie proved to be such a draw that she began receiving offers to entertain not just at altitude but On Solid Ground as well she signed a contract to star in a feature film but backed out a few weeks later when she learned the opening scene would feature her in tattered clothes and a walking stick she found the depiction disrespectful reportedly saying that she quit no Uncle Tom stuff for me yes know yourself know your worth I love that despite rejecting Hollywood Bessie still set her sights on California where thanks to a sponsorship deal with Oakland's Coast Tire and Rubber Company she was able to buy a Curtis jn4 for 400 the plane known as a Jenny was already considered obsolete but it was hers with this final obstacle cleared the sky was literally the limit for Bessie Coleman she got a plane wow you started to scare me there I thought this was going to take a tragic turn like because then she crashed the plane yeah cause we are on this show and nothing good ever happens on this show well you know things that happened a long time ago almost always end in death you know unfortunately time passes everybody dies everybody dies on February 4th 1924 10 000 people gathered at the new Fairgrounds at Palomar Park in Southern California to see Bessie Coleman fly in her very own plane sponsored by the good Folks at Coast Tire and rubber unfortunately the crowd that day was less than wowed with many demanding refunds accusing Bessie of making them a sucker in a quote bunco game just some old timey [ __ ] this bunk this is like not why was this event considered a Bunko game a Bessie's stunts were outdated and boring beef bet he never showed up or see it was so cloudy you could barely see the plane that sucks I love the villain here stunts are old yeah I know I really hope that's not it we've seen these and be fun what's your answer um C cloudy day see cloudy day I'd like that to be the because the other ones kind of suck yeah right I feel like because good things don't happen I think she didn't show up well let's find out via the magic of theater I'll be back I hope you're wrong cloudy day feels like the best case scenario when is the best case scenario happen here that's true well I don't know about you fella but I can't wait to see Queen Beth soar over us like I got darn Eagle you're not lying friend I hear she's spectacular and flies in the French style yes any second I'm sure oh is that her yes oh I think what no that's a cloud [Music] hmm ladies and gentlemen I work on you that Betsy Coleman's plane has crashed she had sent word that she'll be along as soon as she can be patched up but it sounds like she's got a broken leg and broken ribs then also I I don't know what plane should be flying now so yeah sorry sounds like Messi's really hurt oh to me it sounds like we've been had oh I demand my money back yes this is a Bunko game a Bongo game I say yes it's a Bongo game a Bongo game wow let's bring Bunko game back that's kind of fun I think it belongs in the past you could take that one off yeah I'll try to make it a thing oh point for Ryan Graham you get a jelly bean here in this Funko game yes that's it to the fairgrounds in Palomar park because shortly after taking off in Santa Monica her rickety old plane smashed into the ground feared dead thankfully Bessie had only been knocked out along with a broken leg broken ribs and a cut up face upon regaining Consciousness Bessie pleaded with the doctor just to patch her up so she could still fly out to the show again I'm not sure what plane she would have used but that proved impossible Bessie didn't leave the hospital for three months wow oh no you respect the hustle she wanted to get back up there it's like uh Frida Kahlo when she painted in her bed it's like she still wanted to be a part of her art and her craft wow she seems like someone who could have benefited from like a long rest too she's been going on like pretty hard for a long time yeah lie down in the bed catch up on stranger things or something in 1927. Bessie returned to Chicago and for the next couple years struggled to get her career Airborne again meanwhile her dreams had only grown using her time healing to lay the ground groundwork for a flight school that would welcome black Americans as Bessie said quote blacks should not have to experience the difficulties I have faced so I decided to open a flying school and teach other black women to fly for accidents may happen and there would be someone to take my place however starting a flying school meant buying planes which meant somehow earning money which meant Bessie would have to get back to barnstorming barnstorming is this what they call when you show up put on the show you got that Randy oh no I was lost there like a airplane show is called barnstorming yeah I only knew that because I was a big peanuts fan so of like like peanuts as in the characters the cartoon yeah the cartoons yeah he just loves those little nuts yeah I'm a big fan of peanuts yeah I was like sure what does it have to do with a big peanuts fan Bessie eventually started gaining traction doing air shows in borrowed planes in Texas sometimes ending her show by passing controls off to a co-pilot so she could Parachute from the plane that's it baller did she still have the scar cause can you imagine Paris shooting down with his big scar yeah yeah like a big Zuko scar across her face that's nice wow she's just a badass though she was desperate to buy another plane of her own Bessie refused to compromise what she knew was right for an easy Buck before a show in her hometown of Waxahachie organizers informed her there would be separate entrances for white and black Spectators Bessie refused to fly until the entrances were combined another show at the annual flower show thrown by the Orlando Chamber of Commerce was to be for whites only until Bessie refused to fly opening admission to Black citizens as well finally Bessie had some influence and she was sure to use it to push for equality that's sick yes I love that again uplifting more people like you have to use your power the point is if you if you find yourself with an advantage or a privilege in life use it for good what have you done uh I guess I got murdered oh wow that got dark it's a strange answer to that question by saving money for some touring not just by barnstorming but also on the safer lecture circuit in April of 1926 Bessie had finally gathered the money needed to once again buy her own plane another old ass Jenny for sale in Dallas why would you buy the plane that you like crashed the first time that makes me nervous is she gonna make it out of this ah I think she is he's playing with us right now he's fooling around we were late on us what did what happened where's Betsy okay well 24 year old mechanic William Wills received Bessie's plane and flew it from Dallas to Jacksonville but Bessie was waiting to perform her first show in her own playing Wills made the journey with five stops two of them emergency Landings as the plane was in pretty bad shape arriving in Jacksonville on April 28 1926. oh god oh Florida oh no oh well
that's the first problem two days later on April 30th wills and Bessie climbed aboard the Jenny for a practice flight Wills manned the controls while Bessie unsecured so her five foot three frame could see over the side scouted for a spot to land when she would Parachute from the plane the next day it's it's bad isn't it it's bad just finish your stupid story okay according to Witnesses during the practice flight the plane suddenly accelerated and nosedived going into a tailspin before flipping upside down at an altitude of 500 feet the unbuckled Bessie Coleman fell out of the plane and plunged to the ground dying on impact she was only 34 years old oh my God it's sad I guess she died doing what she loved I guess but it is it's a very dangerous thing to be doing I mean she could have died at home in a recliner eating like a turkey sub but she died falling to her death from a plane I guess I'm trying to make this better I just it sucks so let's put it this way if you are a thrill seeker someone who does Feats of Daring for great audiences the optimal way you'd want to go is doing something daring right yeah Will struggled to regain control and crashed his body pinned under the wreckage as Rescuers scrambled to try to lift the plane from his body some idiot little match for a cigarette igniting the fumes pouring from the plane and engulfing the wreckage in place that's not real he like someone what the [ __ ] that's like that scene from Zoolander dude what the hell you know what this situation needs a cigarette let me let me think for a second people really loved smoking back then you know that's true geez okay Will's never stood a chance investigators determined the cause of the crash was a loose wrench that got jammed in the controlled gears a loose wrench like the tool yeah like someone was just fixing to go ah we'll get back to this later I don't know if they dropped it or came back from lunch forgot about it it happens it's one of those tiny things where it's like you know the tiniest little mistake can just Doom a person they always say that when it comes to an airplane or a helicopter one loose screw I mean we're thumbing our nose at God by being in the sky every single time and every time I land I go dodged one there you know we're putting horses out of work honestly more than 5 000 people attended Bessie Coleman's funeral service in Florida and ten thousand attended a memorial hosted in her Honor by Ida B Wells in Chicago even in death however the White media used Bessie's race to rob her of the recognition she deserved white papers focused more on Will's death than Bessie's with the Florida Times Union even saying the crash happened while Wills was quote teaching Bessie how to fly some [ __ ] that's the Florida times yeah like who who really is reading the Florida times not in Florida because they can't read there we go don't kill me Florida you have Disney World with that in mind how many days did it take for the New York Times to publish Bessie's obituary this is open-ended but I'll tell you right off the bat it was not the next day are we doing prices right style like closest without going over yeah copy all right oh almost done locked in beef boy 40 years okay I put 20 years because I feel like they probably didn't write about her until oh wait the 40s that doesn't make sense doesn't that math in my life depressingly points to before Jesse Coleman's obituary finally ran in the New York Times on December 11th 2019 34 193 days after her death part of the papers overlooked series I shouldn't be smiling at that that's insane wow it's just a ludicrous her whole Legacy just went unknown like no one said anything about it was just kind of like oh this lady died in blah blah blah right it wasn't until like literally after black lives matter that like people were like we should talk about this yeah let's talk about that all right oh wow that sucks well in 1929 another famous black Aviator William J Powell started the Bessie Coleman flying school in Los Angeles picking up the dream that had driven Bessie to continue despite setback after setback though her life was cut tragically short Bessie had already broken through so many barriers and achieved the goal she'd set for herself back as a girl in Texas she had certainly made something of herself as the Norfolk journal and guide wrote after her death quote whether they take it or not miss Coleman has taught our women that they can navigate the air and like all Pioneers she has built her own Monument [Applause] wow late but yes yeah yeah yeah I believe she's going to be on a U.S quarter next year that's good yeah if that's the end of the story a huge pile of [ __ ] that she's gone unrecognized for so long but holy [ __ ] I mean what an accomplished woman yeah every time something stopped her she was like I'm gonna come back bigger and better and that's what I want to take away with me whatever she did she uh vowed to be the best at it and she was if every time I lost and I had a band celebrate my life would be a musical yeah it would because I lose a lot well that concludes our history lesson I'm going to go tally the scores to see who receives the title of History Master while I do that please enjoy this special performance from a cute little clown goodie [Music] [Applause] you know it's really lonely up here for us clouds and we love it when you you little human weirdos come to visit us so few of you take the trip though are you so content with being down there in the dirt lowly his bravery and in short supply you know I'd like you to visit hey you down there you ever thought about maybe taken to the air we got clowns and Little Birds oh we got one hell of a view of Mother Earth hello from up above let me picture something that I Think You're Gonna Love for a plane once you get up here your life ain't never gonna be the same and true it's dangerous to hop a boat a plane and just forget about the life that you knew who who but get your ass on a flight hold on tight and Rocket Skyward toward that beautiful blue come on up come on up to the skies [Music] there on the ground I can't believe you dogs like gravity hold your dad hound look at me nope free ain't not the cutest little cumulus you ever did see don't be fooled I'm a little IL had a three-way with the rainbow and the Goodyear Bloom you can too just take the ride leave all your woes and all your baggage from be low behind and you'll know what to do just get your ass on a flight hit the gas hold on tight and Rockets Tower [Music] this is unrelated but I tell you from way up here you really see some some crazy stuff I I saw the whole JFK assassination and I know exactly who did it I can't tell you who but I can tell you they did that anyway let's get back on track with some scatting and a diggle piggy shoes [Music] get your ass up [Music] [Applause] it's so good that was so good so good I really want to see that for the rest of my life now whoa what an uplifting performance now you guys are never gonna believe this but according to our complex Victory algorithm this week's history Master is another win Ryan can you believe it I can't believe it get your prize again the truth the trophies the Covenant cups are on back orders yeah they're on back order that's what they're on come on come get it I think I'm good on the lotion you must take it I don't want it you must I don't want it you don't want to be dry you want to be well moisturized wow look at this lotion then I'm definitely gonna put on my skin oh it feels so good good so good Ryan Graham thank you so much again for joining us today for the rest of you at home thanks for watching puppet history where the details are always a little fuzzy we'll see you next week bye-bye and the light from those Stars takes eons to get here in a way they're The Messengers of Galactic history but son if I if I fly really high I could probably still eat one right no I'm sorry Dad I told you he's always flying up there trying to eat them again all light-headed and passing out dropping out of the sky like a sexy little rock I just want to taste the twinkle treats you want twinkles you look into my eyes uh you know in the future people uh make pictures out of the stars and tell tales about them constellations we call them yeah actually now that I look up there I don't really recognize any of these Stars though let's make some new constellations then huh oh yeah that sounds fun oh okay how about oh there hey that one looks like my favorite Rock hey you know honey that one Rock right he loves this rock oh man it's cold it's hard it's heavy it tastes bad it's Exquisite oh wait look up there those look like that little bird that's always tweeting there's a little bird this squeaky guy in the forest always going to do you know I sat on your egg a long time without a cold rainy nights and when things were dark and scary I just listened to that little Dingus singing his tune because if a dumb little bird can survive till sunrise so can I oh that is so sweet um okay wait my turn um oh hey look there that one looks like beef boy you can't just say things oh uh Brian he was uh well he was my friend you know what you guys would have liked him he was a weird guy he was kind of nasty to me but I I guess I was kind of nasty to him oh well sometimes we're a little nasty when we're not paying attention I've been one of your father's toes off one no she did clean off we were in a tangric frenzy I said I was sorry but we kept on she did she said she was sorry but uh yeah it's gone I'm sure if you apologize to Beef Boy he'd forgive you yeah maybe f so can we talk about my rock more sure Dad he's really passionate about this one this one time I took a nap on the Rock right it was sunny okay and I had a uh what do you call it sunny but that uh the uh the dream oh right yes a dream okay so yeah I know except my phone [Music] foreign [Music]
2022-12-04 21:32
