#7 SUCCES | DIEP MAN de podcast
Hey babe Heeey Here we are Again A new episode Of ´Diep man´ Lovely The podcast, which is also sponsored by Hello Fresh. A man and a woman. - You mean your husband. And you, my wife. Inseparable for 14 years and still not done talking. - That’s what YOU think. Together a son, a dog, and a business. - Don’t forget that there’s a little one on the way. Honey, because of this belly, shaving down there has been hit-or-miss. Believe me, I’m aware. But in all honesty, because of our busy lives it’s difficult to find the time to actually talk to each other.
Wow… that’s deep. Wait, that’s a great title. - Well, at least we agree on something. Hi Nienke and Resley, I have a short question. When are you successful enough? When does the moment come where I know I can be satisfied with my career and accept my peak? Everyone always says that you have to stop at your peak, but when are you actually on your peak? When is it ´enough´? Yes. This is a really good question.
A real headcrusher Yes, or not, but we are starting with… welcome listeners! Yes. Glorious, glorious. Yes, you think it is glorious, glorious. Yes, no, for real. I´ve said this before, this actually feels like relationship therapy... Talking with my wife about all kinds of subjects and themes... and actually learning from you. Yes for sure, I learn every time again.
Well, yes. You can act funny about it but I really like it. Yes, but you make it sound like you just ate a crème brûlee. Yummy, yummy. I just had a cup of coffee. - Yeah same So in other words, I can go. Back to Juultje her question. ´When is it enough, when did you achieve enough success?´
Well, she´s talking about career, to explain it easier, it is work oriented... I think ,wether you work for yourself, because there´s a big difference in my opinion... or you´re employed and have the ambition to be a director at a company....
But anyways. In salaried service, which means you´re not really independent. I´m not sure if one is ´enough´... I think to myself; I´m ok with where I am right now, and I have invested so much time in my career... I want to make the balance differently, because we all know,... if you want to get somewhere, you have to work hard and invest a lot of hours... Sometimes you think to yourself;.. ´where I am right now is goof for now. I´m going to relax and try and enjoy with what I have and be thankful....
Instead of trying your very hardest on and on. I think it´s for sure personal.. and I know that it is really healthy if the growth never stops... But sometimes things can work out differently than what you´ve expected.
One moment, and please don’t panick. But, do you know what question really took my attention?.. It´s the part where she says: ´stop at your peak´. So you have to accept your peak... That is kind of a hard question, because when you work hard to achieve success. You never know when that peak is... At one moment you´ll be like: ´okay but look where i´m at right now, so I can work harder´ so where is that peak? Is there a ceiling? - Correct And what does it look like? Everytime you achieve something, what stands as success for you, you want to take it a step higher. I think it´s good to… So that peak isn´t really there. - Imagine you achieved something new, wether it’s a goal or something..
maybe it was some sort of award for someone or they wanted to play in that movie or they wanted to set up a café... I think its really nice that you can always work with short or long term goals, because then you have a reason to go... Unless you´re really invested in it and you want to enjoy it and make it your dream. I think its really personal... I don’t think we can give you either a good or bad answer to this. No, not yet but me… okay lets start with what the definition of success is to you? The definition of success is for me when you are happy with what you´re doing..
and when you have set your own personal goal a while ago, and achieve it... So for me it was that l can pay my bills because of my creativity... When I was employed and I started taking video´s, my goal was that I could quit my payed job... Yes.
So that we can work on this fulltime. That was really an important goal for me. Now that I have reached that goal,. I have set new goals for myself. So I actually feel success at the moment that you´re.. happy with something you earn money with. This is purely career wise. Yes. - I think you can also be successful in your private life. Definitely for sure. Look at me, if you´ve wanted to ask me that question...
But I will do that myself. You´re so good at it. I have a lot of commas. I haven't reached the period and the space bar and enter and then I can already see what you´re thinking... Aha, I want to take over now. I didn’t really get the chance but I really want to… You´re not getting the chance to speak? - No, to ask that question back.
But I'm serious, you don´t want to know. but I'm dying to hear your answer. Well what´s successful for me, is that we, you and me have found eachother.. and from day one we said, where we both made an agreement;..
whatever we do, we´re going to do it together and we are going to work hard for it. So if it is about getting a house together for the first time, and that I made a budget for the groceries... And that we did the groceries everywhere were there was a discount.. That was already being successful to me. Yes. - Because just the two of us had a household, and just did it, you know? Every month ending up in the green - Yes. Was a success.
Yes, but for me it was also a success. We were successful when we bought our first house while both being employed. With our little mattress sleeping there… Well. - For a couple weeks on the ground And how did we feel? We felt successful right? Just rich. Just like; Check us out, we have invested our own stones. Exactly, we had bought our house and… Owners. - We just moved in there, without being allowed in there... We just brought a mattress in and just went to sleep. Cut open, and the garbage bags were over there… - Hung up on the windows Yes.
Because we didn´t want to let the neighbors know immediately what our ordination entailed right? But we actually did that - Yes. And that was already so successful for us. - That was for sure a success. Already at that moment. But I think that’s already an good example. First of all a house,.. because that’s already a … that is the biggest loan I think you can have in your life. Yes. - Lets put it this way. It’s a debt. - Yes.
It’s a really bad, heavy and high debt. Yes. But it is something that upgrades your private life. - Yes. Wow I'm really making an adult move. And there is where career and private come together. But what I do see. Is that we really are trying to measure success with very often matrealism, money.
Yes. -Yeah, right? Where were standing at... - So were also talking about a house. It's like, okay, I have a house so I´m successful... Career, I have a good job so im also successful. Is that because of the way were fed up? I think its also a little bit how we learn from being a young person... But how older we get and you and all the… at the end of the month we have to pay with how we did everything... All of our effort. Our household. But still there was money involved. So success and money comes first, how we get it right now.
But maybe that will change more. By the way what you´re saying; success is also:.. I'm fine with who I am and where I´m standing at and how I treat my friends and family. So that is also successful. Can I make an example? From our perspective on being successful...
Instagram, imagine a famous person posts a photo on Instagram with his/hers cool car.. and that person is trying to show it off. Then you´ll see a lot of people commenting such as:.. ´omg you´re so cool!´. and people who comment will think that because he has a ´cool car´ so he is successful, right?
Yes. Imagine we have a photo of that famous person and of a non-famous person... Actually no, lets just imagine a famous person posting a photo of a..
'Opel Kadett', from 1990, but that’s not really meant to be shown off as being successful... People aren´t going to comment: ´omg you´re awesome´. No, but does the caption say on the Instagram post with something like: ´new car´? Yes, that person has the exact same caption… - Yes. Only a different car. Then it wouldn´t be seen as successful. I'm sure... People aren´t going to comment with comments like ´omg you´re doing amazing, you´re so cool´ but maybe that guy,.. you don´t know, tried to figure it all out with his family, so that his wife has a good job,..
the kids get to go to whatever school they want to go to. He is super happy because he has a job that makes him happy. That makes him successful, or not? I think it really depends on how we hear and grow up with stuff. Now, as of today..
We have been told that success is comparable to an high amount, x euro´s on your bank account or a power. Well I think that´s a little… - Such a shame right? Yes were guilty for that too. If I take a look at our work, at what we do... We only measure our success based on views, likes and other stuff... Were also involved in this. It’s a part of our lives now. Because success...
When we watch a video, and that video is better than all the other video´s,.. you can see how successful the video is by how clear they made it by numbers. But maybe its… I have never looked up the definition of success in the book of ´Van Dale´...
Maybe this is the word. Achieving your goals,.. so in this case maybe we had in mind "well in this video, let's make a fun video series… and we want to achieve this with it... Of course, that´s our measuring bar... But that might be for a butcher more in sales.. and that is perhaps for a yoga teacher so many classes fill up online, with her online bookings...
So it is not bad that it all comes with measurements. Then maybe we should adjust our achievements and also some immaterial… Well, sorry for interrupting you. But its not like we have to adjust it... Maybe we should teach ourselves that success that we have at work, doesn´t define us as a person...
Our happiness doesn’t depend on that. But that is… - No it´s not like that... I think a lot of people think when they have had a good week and they have risen and this and that... Wow I feel super good. It can be a good feeling. But if it doesn´t go well, you don´t have to think;.. ´and now I'm going to be super negative all day and whine about stuff. No, no, no, no, no it doesn’t define you as a person.
Do you think we are successful? Yes, for sure. And why is that? I see that reflected in the goals we set when we just started together,.. sitting at the kitchen table and having so much fun. We still have so much fun. The small wins, the big ones...
And the positive thought; ´I still really enjoy what I´m doing´... Because the moment you can´t have fun in that work anymore, you´re working to make money... I think that won´t last a long time. Nobody likes that.. Unless you’re motive is really making money, because some people are very happy with money... But than after all you´re happy, you know what I mean? So I think I´m successful... I think we are successful but I can only speak for myself but… No but you… Okay, but do you think we are successful? Yes.
And how do you describe that? The goals we have set for our selves. But not only the achievements because I'm trying to see it from a different perspective; ´where do I stand right now?´ Well okay. Let me say it different. I think we are successful because we do what we like. That’s it. Yes, that’s what I´m saying. Well yes, in that way. Good. And there´s someone else, she actually does something that she likes and she´s my sister...
And today we´re going to call my sister. - Elvira Hey You´re busy right? - Yes. We could take quickly through it. Worked quickly through it. At 2 I have a client though. Yes, you´re going well right? - Yes, it´s going good.
Well, it's going good. We know that ofcourse... We´re looking from a distant how you run a salon like a boss. But… - The theme first… The theme for today is indeed success. What do you think is the reason why we, invited you to this podcast today? Oh well, that’s a good question. Because I had a hard time studying first. I actually started out behind in school... It was mainly reading. And I handled that well, because by how for I´ve gotten now. I've done college... That actually always went pretty well. The normal and hard stuff ofcourse...
Like the tests and that kind of stuff, but not extra hard. I´ve catched up pretty quick. Yes. - And based on school and education I did everything I actually wanted to do.. I’ve reached every goal I’ve always wanted to reach. Education wise.
Yes, and that’s why you´re a successful story because you advice at elementary school and yeah actually… mom got the advice to send you to a clueless school. - Yes. Because you couldn´t read well and they indicated that you couldn’t really keep up... and then youre on that clueless school and you´re like, ´well then´...
In general a lot of people think that those kind of people can't reach far in life or can't be successful later. Or they are lagging behind. - Yes. Yes. - and still, you have succeeded all of your educations, you did everything...
Not just a normal college education, because before that you did secondary vocational education... Huh? Is that the girl that couldn´t read and was lagging? No, you did it and then you did your higher vocational education for physical therapy... As finishing touch, you have your own business and it's running really well. A beauty salon.. Yes, I’m super happy with it. - Who would´ve thought?
Yeah, I’m so thankfull the bussiness is going so well and that I’m actually doing something that I like. That its running well. I enjoy those two things so much. - Yes. Yes, I’m so thankful for that. The combination right? - Yes.
That’s really it. If you´re really doing something you enjoy, then you already have success... Then you don’t even have to… maybe you want later two or three stores... Just where you´re at right now, that’s straight up success. - Yes, exactly. Do you think you're successful? Well, there´s a lot more goals I want to reach. I don’t see myself as a big success. That not at all,.. but it depends how you look at it. Work wise, I think its going good, so I’m on the right track to success...
But in my private life I think there are still some things to be done... But yes what I’m thinking, I’m satisfied with where I’m at, but it has to be more... But I don’t think I’m THAT successful. But I don’t think I’m a failure either. I don’t think about it that much to be honest.
You say I am actually really wanting to achieve certain goals. - Yes, exactly. But doing something I really enjoy doing, is in my opinion success. You´re allowed to think you´re successful right? Yes of course you´re allowed to think that... But then I think I might want someone in paid employment and another locations for the salon... There are still so much things that I want...
So yeah, I think I’m doing well but I never thought about the question ‘when do I think I’m successful?’ But Nienke isn´t this… - At my business, I did not. Isn´t this also the downside of success? Being full in your opinion. Always wanting more, always better, always something extra´s. That is also a bit… Yes, because your first dream was when you started with Leonie, your partner... It was like; ´we might have our own business later´. Well, now you have chosen for yourself... Now you think to yourself ´I’m fully independent´. And now you´re looking at the next ;..
opening a second branch with people employed, but actually you can also think a little longer about where I am now... Not like, this is the feeling I’m supposed to have, this is the top. - Yes. But you can also say that this is successful, because then you really don’t jinx your luck or goals. No, no - Yes it really is. Just think about what you have already achieved... You can appreciate it, because you always want more as a business person...
But yes, you are right. You can be happy with where you are at right now. So, Elvira, you are successful. - Well, thankyou. Okay, well thankyou for your time Ellie. Thanks. - Yes. Go on with the next, and enjoy Continue massaging. - Yes, I'm going to do that.
Bye bye - Okay, bye bye You heard it. Its kind of hard for Ellie, and a lot of other people to tell yourself that you´re successful. But what is it? When someone asks ´how are you doing?´ you´ll get an answer with them saying ´yes, I’m good´, .. but actually they´re not doing good. But they don’t really want to say that... That’s the same thing with being successful and wanting to say that about yourself... For some reason we think that´s scary to say about ourselves. We think its hard to say to ourselves..
´I think that I’m successful'. Why is that so hard? I think that we Dutch people… there’s some sort of culture here, where we don’t like bragging about ourselves... But when you look at… as a joke, if you watch someone’s lecture,..
an American giving a lecture to a college or to some people. Well well, he will brag so much about himself... Meanwhile we Dutch people have a straight opinion and think he could´ve bragged a bit less about himself... Over there its totally the way around. Here in The Netherlands we think everything is weird.. and we think its not okay that people brag that much about something... But calling yourself successful at the moment you finished a clueless school, a lag in language,..
worked yourself up to a own beauty salon, graduated at one of the hardest higher vocational school... Then why can´t you be absolutely happy?.. There’s something in us that tells us we cant be THAT happy, because we think that’s a bit.. how do you say that?.. Showing too much off. - Yes. and maybe that other too… than maybe people will think I’m arrogant... No, no, no, no, no its arrogant when you look down on someone like that. I have this, and you don’t have that...
But you can… its true though, it’s a fact, I have this so I’m successful. - Yes. You wouldn’t talk about the rest. Maybe we should teach ourselves that. Do you think success depends on pure luck or just hard work? There are multiple factors, and I think that you can't escape hard working... But with hard working you don’t always have to be up all night and working hard for years and years... Some people achieved succcess in less than a couple months...
I think that’s the right attitude. - Can I say something? In your head. I think its working hard with a bit of luck. Yes, but I think that part of little luck, is part of your own responsibility...
You´re creating that too. Because I’m convinced that you´re attracting those chances to yourself... Because of…. Yes, that’s the love of attraction. The universe right? I believe so. Did you change now that we´re succesful? Are you a different person? No, I haven’t changed as a person, but I do see things in a different way... I believe that. I haven’t become a different person with what defines me...
So if you were my friend 10 years ago, then you still have the same friend... You just don’t talk to them as much as before because you´ve gotten busier, but I’m still the same person... I still have the same norms and values. But I do think differently about entrepreneurship,.. maybe it’s because of the parenting and my career. And what’s the distribution in between?..
Maybe 10 years ago I would have said… if you would have asked me 10 years ago with the amount of hours we work as a family and how that’s balanced... Maybe I would have said: ´well, I don’t know if that’s healthy´... But now that I’ve experienced it and I see how important I think it is to work in my family,.. I think differently about that then before.
I think differently about that then before. Are you ever scared to lose our success? Or your success? I keep on saying our, why our? Yes, because we still…. We´re doing this together right? Yes, well our then. Are you scared to lose our success? Well yes, I have an answer for that,.. but I first want to know your answer because I think it’s interesting to listen to your answer first...
I don’t want my answer to influence or change your answer. No, I’m not scared to lose our success. Is that because you just believe in the formula or are you just like… Okay, but now serious.
Oh okay. - But that’s in 2 parts. The first one I believe yes... I believe for sure in what were doing, and in what I’m doing... That’s a really big and important part to know and believe in what you do... And the second part is because I think the formula is correct and we are going to keep refining and we still have to…. work different or something else, so that’s also a huge part. But I do really believe in it. So yes, I’m not really scared. Ooh - I'm not scared.
I didn’t think that you.. not so much that you would be afraid. But I do know that you think a lot about growth... So you also think about the other side, also when it can be lowering. I know that your doing that. Can I add something to that? After that I’m going to leave you alone... Then it is true. I’m not scared to lose it,..
but I have always tried to work to the point where it doesn’t matter with what were doing,.. but that you always can do what you want to do. Yes, and you always say that you have to be flexible in your head,.. so imagine something changes, your target audience, or your own interest.
Or the theaters will close. Yes exactly. There are things that you have no control over.. or that you have so far control over but you have to go with it because… something will change... I know that you have always been someone that likes to work hard... You really like shifting. - Yes yes.
You´re actually like a gearbox. So no, I’m not.. are you though? - No I’m not scared to lose it because…. But I thought you were more scared of losing it because you’re always working on growth... And this might be a prejudice, but people who are busy with working on their growth,.. maybe work on their growth because they´re scared to fail. Or that you have those…
No, just increase the rates. - Oh. I have a Excel sheet ready here with an email: ´hello good day, hereby.. a 1000 followers. No, no, no, no but you are the one that’s more of a strategist of the 2 of us. Yes. - And I’m more of an floaty creative person...
So that makes a big difference in how we both think in here. Yes, yes. But no, not afraid. Now what I’ve said before. Were like a duo that does ballroom dancing...
The man leads. You always lead the conversation more.. I think like that, but its not a bad thing. - I don’t mind that. No you like that right. You like to be in control anyways, right? Just ask your question Do you think your still grinding when, from where we… Isn´t this on Grindr.?
No, I said grinding. Oh, okay grinding, yes. Yes for sure, you can be successful on Grindr. I think you could be a hit with your butt. Yes, hahahah yes! We have talked a lot about that. Sometimes when I look at you, I see you standing there with that booty and I think to myself,..
you would earn so much money. You think that I have a talent, but you should have a talent too... With good lighting and some oil on it. No for real, the money will flow in.
Do you think all I have to say is hi? I remember when we went to the sauna, before we were famous. Because that’s just what we did when we weren’t famous. Naked. - Yes, and now that could be a little bit awkward because, well… you don’t want it... But I’m not insecure. But then it was always a party when the gays would walk by. No just… - No, no, no, no, no There were older people too, it was just… - No. Awkward when you would see… Well no, but look. For some reason there arent that much dark people in the sauna...
You don’t see them that much. I don’t know if theres a reason for that... But then when that kind of person walks by and he looks good, I have to… gays.. ofcourse men look... You also look at women. But men who are attracted to men, theres more testosterone...
They looked and they didn’t have clothes on anymore, so they couldn’t get undressed,.. but they would wait untill you would put your hands in the scrubbox... They would be like ´bend down for that sea salt ooohhhhh´. They were watching you. Really, they were following you. Lets continue with the question. Yes, anyways. Your butt and how that can be such a success. Maybe I should turn that into a book with images.
Hahahahaha. Bestseller. My question… whether we are grinding for where we stand and therefore the objects we want to get... Do you still have the same… are you still grinding out of ambition?.. Working really hard, or is it more because of what money is in return and therefore the possibilities that stand against it?.. Do the priorities or your ambitions shift, or is it still from passion to create something with the two of us together? Oh, a 100% the first one. From passion. Yes, okay okay. - From out passion...
Watch from passion, I know for sure it will pay off for us because we…. The stuff we can do or even more fun things, if its about what were already doing... But really by far just out of passion...
This is really simple to prove, if… were every week together with our team, and they are all different kinds of people... I wouldn’t be sitting here every week with our team if we just did it for the numbers, because then it wouldn´t be important... But youre really doing it with a passion. Everything we think about, we do together... We´re thinking like: ´what would be fun to do?´ That’s a passion right? Yes, no.
If it weren’t a passion, I would be impossible to be spending so many hours.. and be so much with our whole team. With all the people around us, to invent things. Yes. - If it wasn´t a passion, it would be impossible. I agree with you, but because of last time.. we made with the team vision boards, and you can see that in one of our videos...
Where you wrote down 3 times in a large way the word ´money´, - Yes and I don’t know if its an coincidence that the magazine…. - No. But you were aware of cutting that out and putting it up there... And you have always been busy with the thought of,..
how can I be sure with what I have on my bank account, that it will keep me happy... That could’ve been the thought of not being sure if you were able to go on a holiday, or do fun things with my friends... Now its more about, how can I invest, how can I grow? So your outlook hasn’t changed, but because there´s more, .. it might´ve been a change in what your drive was, you know what I’m saying? No but look… - But that’s not the case? No, my vision isn’t clouded because I know that money is really important,..
actually really important in what you want to do. But for my it was really a passion. Well, then I’m very curious in what you have put down in the ‘Potkas.’ The ‘Potkas’ every week you and me have an item. We never know what it is, what we throw in the bag... Only until now we get to see what’s in our potkas table model what’s in the little pot... You have a story behind yours, grab your item. - Yes.
I already see something… - Yes. What does this look like? Is this a green card? Is this.. What I have brought is the following. This is, yes these are my car papers,..
and the reason why I brought my car papers is because when we didn’t earn that much money,.. and im not trying to say we earn that much money right now, but were earning something... That being successful was having a really cool car... A lot of people will… a lot of younger people will have it, or a cool Rolex... But anyways, that was having a really cool car... And one moment, we we're doing super good and I thought to myself ´oh, now I can finally get my dream car or,..
can I really get the car I've always wanted? That right there is the moment I'm successful... And then I bought the car, and I got the car papers, and you're finally the owner of the car... A week after that youre thinking to yourself ´this isn't really the meaning of being succesful, is this it?´.. Do you know what I mean? - I'm listening.
You have waited and looked forward to the moment where you get to say:.. ´I am successful´ and that was for me having a cool car. - You thought that was the gauge Yes, and then when you have the cool car, you think to yourself: ´alright this is it´... So what I’m trying to say with this is,..
that it's not necessarily saying that I want to hold on to materialism as a measure of how successful you are. What I want to say is that you can’t measure success or being happy, with a ‘Rolex’ or a ‘cool car.’.. Because then you’re never going to be successful or happy... I really experience that it is more than something you want to have when you have achieved something. That’s why I brought this, because I thought this was the meaning of being successful when I was younger...
And after all that isn’t what being successful is. So before you had it, you thought now I can say it. - Oohh yes, next level... - Now I have it, now I’m there! And then you have it. - And then you have the car,.. and of course I appreciate it and I’m super proud of what we have.. and that I have a car where I have, every time I look at it, a boner. Oh, wow.
Yes and in these times it goes so easy. But it’s not. It's just not in there. - No, no... I’ve realized that you don’t have to be successful by the stuff you´ve bought or got because you are successful.
You realize that it's not what you thought it was. Yes, that’s a point. - Where it was. Exactly, yes.
Alright. I’ll grab mine. Ok, go grab yours. I think this is so hilarious, we are so different from each other.. by the stuff I’ve grabbed, all so different. Alright here we go. What did I bring? It’s a little bag, do you recognize the little bag?
No. You don’t recognize the little bag. I’m getting out of here, oh look, look, look at that face of you... Ooooh you look like Loulou when I get her a piece of candy. Oh that’s mine, mine, mine... I’m grabbing out over here, of course, my crystals! De rocks I carry everyday with me... I got my crystals from my sister, they’re in the blue little bag or… they were meant to be in the blue little bag but I moved them because..
crystals can't be put together because of the energy they attract... But, I got 2 rocks from my sister, I think that’s these 2. Yes, it feels like these 2. Before I went touring, she gave me these 2 rocks...
One of them stands for getting your words right, and the other one stands for creativity... Well, I really thought that was cool. She’s quit busy with that... And after that I got more and more rocks from viewers. With these rocks, this the ´green calcite´,.. that’s what they call it and im going to look up the exact meaning of it on my phone,.. because its super interesting what the rock stands for. Wait, calcite. A green calcite is green to apple green of color... Well yes that’s what you see, beautiful it is. It activates and stimulates physical, mental and spiritual growth and development...
The rock has a motivating effect, promotes self confidence,.. decisiveness, steadfastness, and gives hope and courage... The calcite stimulates analytical thinking, promotes concentration and attracts success... I got this from a viewer, because he thought, the effect, or what this stone represents fits with me... The way I am and how I do. Our life and our career combine.. because that comes with a lot of joy, that also comes together...
And sometimes when I think to myself: ´ah yes, I have a good idea´,.. and I know it can be a success, I’ll put the rock on my forehead. I’ve never seen you done that. - Yes, I’ve got from one of our viewers a calcite bracelet bro...
Do you ever pay attention? From who? From Stan or from Matthijs? From Stan. Really? For my birthday yeah. He gave me that in a really sneaky way like under the counter... He said ´here, here, here´ and then he gave this to me... They are a small little calcites on here because it attracts success... And its not like success in a way like ´ ohh I just got a big deal´,..
but more like allowing It to give you a great campaign, or writing a nice concept. If you believe in it, it will work for you. Bro, ill put it on my forehead and then I always get super relaxed... Usually after half an hour or 15 mins I think to myself ´ I’m going to write this down, that’s also a good idea´.
Yes but… - No, its… A large part is just superstition Whatever it is, whatever it is. Yes, sorry. It stands for success and I’m absolutely convinced that because of my mindset,.. because it’s the mindset in which I go. I attract it, the success... So even when I cant think of any good ideas, I always think ´what’s inside me?´ its all in me anyways.
So ill just put it back on early or late. So i'll grab my gemstone. Is it a crystal? It’s a crystal, not a gemstone. Well I cant help you with what it is. No I’m not a 100% sure what it is. But that’s what I do, the ´Green Calcite´. So uhm, babe did you see that too? Or better said you heard that too?.. There were things that I considered as success when I was younger and later I never saw it like that anymore. Yes, that’s what it is… your dream car or let me say it like this in your car, a fast car, an amazing car.
Yes, an amazing car. Yes, do I have that? That I considered something as success when I was younger and now I think to myself: ´well, this is..´ ´I saw… let me say it like this, when I was younger and I got involved in the theaters and stage,.. I saw that as success, because then I have success... I didn’t think of success for everybody because that’s not how it works...
I didn’t think of success for everybody because that’s not how it works. When we all go on stage, its not fun anymore... But I never thought of stuff. Of course, I like stuff but I never saw that as being successful. No, but that’s what makes us two different people. - No you know why?..
Because there’s so many rich people out there that get the money put down in front of them and didn’t do anything to earn it... Then I already thought, ´that’s not success´. You didn’t do anything to earn this... I’ve never thought of that. When I was a younger girl I saw people around me like..
´ooh, you’re that person and you have worked hard for it´. I’ve never seen that as a combination,.. but money wasn’t success right away. Because there’s a lot of people who got their money without doing anything. Did you… because were here in a kind of weird period of time, because half of the world is standing still, or the whole world... Just say how you want it. Has this period of time made you think differently about our success?..
Yes of course. About enjoying your success. I have a different perspective on that... Because we went so good, we were like a express train. Like a sprinter that just doesn’t stop at one station... Working super hard, amazing and fun, from theater to theater and.. in between to the office and a meeting and a campaign and shooting the video and,..
in the meanwhile standing on stage 3 times a week... Going super hard, and all at once: boom... It was for everyone a period of time, like a month and a half, we all took a break. And then I was like… Well, that wasn´t a month and a half. Well, let me say it like this. That everything just stopped. - Yes.
That everyone was still afraid that if I pick up the phone then it's already dangerous... You know, it seemed like everyone was like; pause button... Then I thought 'oh this is very annoying'... From oh huh, I was just going so well, but then you really face the facts.. okay you're here now... Now you have to be satisfied with this because you can't grow now. - No. You can't grind and go to the next level right now. Because now, you're on one of those escalators that ieee... stop...
Then you get... for my feeling really reminded for a moment, well where you are now is also good for a moment... You'll have to because you're not going up. No, no, no, no I don't know if you remember, but at that moment I was really immediately... switching on.
Yes, your radars. - Okay, that goes away, we're going to check right away,.. okay then set this up here, fuller, and continue with this... No, no, no, just don't sit. That's the biggest mistake you can make anyway. - Yes. That includes being successful. Believing, and belief was always there. So no. No, but didn't you have the idea of oh... could you still enjoy the success that we had at that time then for a moment... that the pause button had been pressed.
Well, I guess it's a shortcoming of myself and my personality... That I don't enjoy success enough. I'm going to give an example: when we won the Televizier, and... Why do you say we now because Nienke Plas was on it.
Um, no because we also won 'online series.' I'm just teasing you. We also won 'online series.'
True - And that's us. That was ehh.... - Just 'online series.' No, ooh yes the 'Shitty Dairy' was the 'online serie.'
Honey we just won 'online series.' And we had, of course, yes. Yes, and so am I. I'm still putting you a little... what? And I'm also the main character in that.
Oh yes, of course. - In the ‘Shitty Dairy’. Starring Resley Stjeward. Us. - I bully you sweetheart. I know but I'll answer it nicely for you... When we won the Telivizier, the very next day I had 'and move on.'.. I did not say: 'Oh great, we won, great! Yes, I had on that day. Fun celebration...
The next day I was already busy, okay how are we going to do this next year.... You literally said in a meeting, ''guys this is a nice thing we've achieved, but we're not sitting still.''.. I remember you saying that and I had it in my hand and I was like, ''dude, go open a bottle of campaign or something.'' Yes, yes, I do sometimes I think I can work on that. Even that night you also said, ''we're not going to make it too late, because tomorrow we just have to work.''
Yes. And I thought 'huh, if there's a night to go all the way, it has to be now, right?' Yeah, for me that's really kind of a pitfall, that a lot of people have.. that when they've achieved something, that they think 'okay, now I've achieved it, I'm done.'..
No, now it's just starting. It's just starting... for me, or something like that. Let me put it this way, you say that you do it not quite often. Maybe you do it too little for your own feelings... Let's put it this way, you have your crazy moments when you don't. On one of those nights, I would say ''I'll leave my car here.'' ..
And not so much that enjoying it equates to then I have to drink all the alcohol, but I mean... You could have said ''I'll leave that car here and get an Uber too.'' But you were like ''no, tomorrow back to work etc.''.. I think you choose your moments to enjoy yourself maybe could do it differently..
because how often do you say when we are on vacation.. ''but then I also want to sit in a nice hotel and then I also want to enjoy myself.''.. Because then you allow yourself to really benefit from it. - Yes. So it's not that you don't enjoy it but you have other moments...
I really think that night 'hatzeee, this is good.' Here's an award in my hand, in the other hand too. Somebody get a straw.... I was happy with it though, so yeah.... - No. But for me, it wasn't necessarily... Yes nice, and then move on. Yes. - Yes, and just move on. I also want to move on but... Tomorrow is just another day, right? - With evening, but at 1:30 you tapped your watch and said,..
''dear, we need to arise early tomorrow.'' Shall we move on to the facts? The facts. Yes! The first is: success does not make one happy, they say... It's exactly the other way around, according to researchers...
Happy people are more successful... They are more self-assured, optimistic, energetic and social, and that makes for success. I completely agree with this. Yeah, me too, me too, definitely. It's hard to do this in practice, though. - Why? Well, we've talked about success for a very long time now... It's just hard not to measure your success just by how much money you've made or... Sorry, I'm going to interupt you.
Yes I do find that difficult. No, it's not hard, it's because that's what we've been taught... So we have been taught, from a young age, success equals a lot of money in the bank,.. success equals these goals achieved, that you have this, a nice car etc. So, you figured it out all by yourself.
Yes, yes. - That's not where it's at. But that doesn't make it easy. No, maybe the switch is hard for you, but the definition of success has to change a little bit in our brain... That's where it's at. Next fact darling. Yes. Irene Wüst is the most successful Dutch Olympian... She has won a total of 11 Olympic medals. 5 times gold, 5 times silver and 1 time bronze. That's really...
Yes great, but I'm hesitating to ask. Who is it? Ski, ehh... - Langlaufen? No I don't. No I'm saying it wrong. Irene Wüst is an ice skater. - Ice skater, and is she of long distance..
or short sprint, do you know? Honey, you know, I don't look at that, stop it. No, you're already happy to skate on the ice. She is on the ice. - Yes. Smooth ice. Nice though. I can already see people from production laughing. Do we need to know this? Yes, we are an ice skating country though. We definetely need know this. - Yes? Yes, I have the calves of a skater. We could do a little more at that angle... Doesn't matter, we'll go to the next one.
Okay, yes. Of all the billionaires in the world, 35% are not college graduates. Ole, ole. Should I be happy about this? I want to anyway... I don't necessarily have to be a billionaire. I always find that quite... it seems uncomfortable to me too to be a billionaire.
When is it uncomfortable? - One person has so much money,... while so many people in the world have nothing at all. Pretty uncomfortable to me. Ooh, but you can still just share from that point on? Well that's kind of the thing. If you're a billionaire, you're not much of a sharing person I guess. Well, I don't know. As for that. Then give away a few million or a few 100 million.
I think so too. We're building a few things in countries where... - So I don't know,.. but well let's just stick to this fact... So that is, because I always know when I went to college, my mom and dad always said,.. ''if you study and get your papers and you graduate, you're going to be successful,.. you're going to be able to work at that company that you always want to work because you'll have the degrees.''.. And what you see here now, 35% of the billionaires are not graduates at all...
So that means, that piece of paper is not necessarily the guarantee also to make a lot of money... I'm not saying successful, but... No, no, no but that's also true. But it is now for the listeners who are still studying, yes what do we teach them?.. If you like it, finish it. Don't feel like it at all? Then maybe you should follow your instincts... I always think that, we can just say that. Sorry parents, I didn't pull your child out of school,.. that was up to them, but I probably gave them the push.
Okay, well. Thank you for the attention, we will continue. Yes. Well, enough facts... Opinion, do you think our environment looks at us in a different way now that we are successful? Do they see us differently? Sure, sure. Yeah, well look the people around you, they also measure being successful by the things they own...
So yeah, they see what we have, or they see that we have a business, or they see.... How we're growing. - That we are growing. So yes, they will... Yes, I don't think, for the people who are very close to us, that they feel that we have become different..
or that we have changed. I don't think so. No, I don't think so either. - I don't think so. But they do just see that things have gone differently with us now,.. then before. But as a person just looking at the materialism and everything we have, if that wasn't there;.. I don't think they would say 'these are completely different people just like that.' I don't think so.
Are there people around us who struggle with our success because they are not in the spotlight themselves?.. At the beginning maybe they did?.. They thought 'oeeh' if you were going to film, ''well I don't necessarily have to be in it.'' For sure, for a very long time my mother had trouble getting into videos or trouble, she just didn't want to get filmed...
''My privacy, Resley they can't see my living room, or they can't film my kitchen... not in my house.''.. And now it's a completely different world, so I guess... But I want to add that, it's our choice... - It's also new. Not their choice. And it's new to someone, too. - Exactly, exactly so...
But no, I don't think they look at us differently... The new successful, I really don't think so. We're still the same, irritating people. For sure. - In my opinion. We'll stay this way. If you ask that question to yourself, that you just asked me. I don't think, no. I think they're like yeah, they're busier...
so we need to take a little bit more of our time, I don't want to say demand it but hey, I've always been a chaotic person,.. I forget birthdays of people who are super close to me, I always have been. Well, that's five times more now... And it's good then if you have friends who are very close to you who can say, ''hey, ehh....''..
They said at the beginning, when I was just starting out:.. ''Nien, we know you are very busy and you don't even have time to sleep,.. but if you are going from one appointment to another, give us a call. That's nice, to catch up a little bit.''.. Then I thought, 'good thing you reminded me.' Because I don't think about this at all...
I know I don't talk to you as much, but I like it that the people around me can remind me. Isn't it true that if you are successful and you have these kinds of,.. can I call it a downside in your personality or in your character? Yes, point of improvement. - Points of improvement. Yes, yes, yes. Is it that this is just very much highlighted?.. As being, ooh look she's really changed now because now she doesn't call anymore either.
Maybe people can interpret it that way. Yes, I'm firmly convinced of that... But those will be people who were never really "your cheerleader" before.. you know what I mean? - Yes. They will always be looking for something and now they already have things to hit with. Is there a downside to have success? I'm thinking about it, because I haven't come across it yet. Yes, a downside to success is just.... You have a lot of haters.
Yeah, so I haven't come across those yet either... When they are there, they keep very quiet. I like it, because I think you always have haters... Because that's what we say sometimes right? You can have 10 nice comments under a picture, or 100,..
but the annoying one stays with you. Always, that's so weird. - Whether it's a comment,.. or someone at a party who just made an annoying comment.
100 nice comments, 1 annoying one. The annoying one stays with you. So, you can make the negativity in your life bigger than it's actually worth anyway, but I don't focus on that. Sure, there are ones. Okay, but a downside, maybe the downside to being successful is that people,.. not necessarily your friends, but the people around you, want to see you as a different person? Well, I do have one. - Okay. A downside to being successful or being in the picture in this case,.. because some people are very successful, but nobody knows them. But in my case being successful so public...
I can sometimes find it annoying that people see you as a role model... So, if I do something that is so out of line with what... - Exemplary. Yeah, exemplary, role model that's kind of the same thing, right? Yes, definitely. - That I think, I'm not doing this for your daughter of 15/16,..
or your son of 17 just having to follow this now. I'm doing this because I want to... So, because it doesn't flow with your parenting, where you see your child ending up... You shouldn't get angry now because I'm going to have my breasts enlarged,.. while you're giving your child ''be happy with who you are, with what God has given you.''..
Yes, no, I find that annoying and not that that's a lot of people. What does God have to do with that? Well just an example, nature, Mother Teresa. Someone made you... You are like this and some people are not satisfied, or you become like this because of breastfeeding... And you think 'well, how nice, someone who just popped the balloons in, and I felt better'...
But there are also people who say.. ''yes, but my 16-year-old daughter watches you and now she also thinks, ooh yes you see.'' So, what you're actually saying is that you think.... - A downside, I think it's a downside.
People expect a lot from you. - So, they always expect me to be so hopping in the alley,.. with what flows with what they think... While that can also be different and then I am not the role model for your child or for yourself.
But isn't this actually a consequence that we now,.. this word has been used very often and is probably going to be used very often now; the "cancel culture"... Doesn't it arise precisely from this what you are now saying that we all are following people,..
worshiping people if that doesn't apply to some people... . But then we are going to demand of them that they do exactly, what we want... And if they do or say something that doesn't fit into our 'scheme'.. of things, then they have to.... - Are we all going to turn our backs on them?..
Yes, that's the culture that's going on right now. I'm not in support of that... Because whether it's a famous person who can make a misstep whether it's a stupid mistake or a stupid action.. or literally that you think 'you did this on purpose very stupidly.' Or you're just a creep or whatever... But imagine this isn't about a famous person but it's your cousin or your best friend,.. then you still have a little nuance of okay, let's see, let's look back in proportions... I just think that a well-known person is completely and immediately killed off and flattened with the floor...
I think that's very intense. While those mistakes are made by several people. Several people? All of us. - Yes, okay. We humans make mistakes. I don't mean so much the mistake, I mean such a kind of mistake others make too and they often just move on too,..
because there's not such a huge magnifying glass also hanging over that person... And that's what I find unfortunate about the 'cancel culture' that you're talking about... That immediately your success and one day, wooshhh, just gone. That's possible. - It's possible, just gone. Just look at Bilal. See. Only I wonder, because he will come back one day.
You don't know that you don't know that. - No, no. Let me put it this way... Kaj van der Ree has not returned either. That's right, I had it... - So, you don't know. He didn't come back but he's not dead.
No, no but by returned I do mean for a moment just the business he was in. You don't know if he's coming back now, we might not be able to know until... because how long has he been out? 2 years, Kaj van der Ree? I don't know, honey. Anyway, a really long time. That of Bilal is a bit shorter. Kaj can also come back, Bilal too...
But imagine they never come back, yes, but there can also come a time when they do try to come back... Surely there is always a possibility, but it seems like these guys.... ''no can't.''.. Because what you have done is not good, you may not learn from it either, not at all under our public spotlight, no, no... Now it's just done. I do think that's crazy, so wait, so if this happens to your son you turn your back on him too?.. and you write him out of your house, he's no longer heir to your estate, it's all done?..
You cut the ties, is that what you do with your own child too? So why should we do that with someone we adore?.. We go to that person's concert, but they can't make that mistake?.. While maybe you're much more forgiving of your little brother? It just doesn't work that way now Nienke. No, but I think that's discutable... I'm not saying that they both made those mistakes that they... yes, no there does need to be said and done about that and yes, go ahead,..
yes you need to swallow that turd for a while, it's very spicy and let everyone write about you... But then are we all going to, take down all the pictures you had with that person and unfollow him and do stuff... There are punishments for this. Then let that person do that, there will be a punishment, then maybe a fine,.. that person will be completely dragged through the mud, that's the consequence unfortunately...
You have to dig your heels in, but that person is just cancelled for life?.. The planet is no more... you just have to be pushed off it, isn't that weird?.. He should never have done. Way too easy thinking about something like that..
which can have a much longer aftermath for a little boy, is not okay. I think it's super sad... But how to move on? So, everyone should be able to move on, right? That family, he, Bilal. Now it's just like, well this was your life, 21, you did a nice job, great. See you on the other side... You can't do that, can you? That's my opinion. So that was quite a speech. Well, and what do you think about it? No, no I don't have to add anything more to this. - I think, the "cancel culture,"..
I think it's intense. There are other artists... But there's also a 12-year-old boy involved, and he's also... No, ho ho, what he has, the aftershocks that's what I'm saying...
That there should be something in return, I think that' s absolutely right... There has to be, because this is not acceptable. You have to realize what you're doing, you're an adult. Bilal is an adult. And responsible. - And responsible. Realize what you are doing... You can't do this at all, you have to have a conversation too. How do you get it into your head?..
To what cloud have you risen that you thought this could be done, that you could make this happen?.. So no, sure, he's got to work on it, there's got to be a coach involved, there's got to be a psychologist involved... He also needs to take a moment ... get to work on yourself... But that doesn't mean like, no this was your life, you just messed up... That's weird, right?..
Surely there are people who do much more violent things, consciously. Okay honey are you going to finish because.... - Yeah, okay now I, I... It's very clear, good point. So, I can't wait for him to come back, and with what. Which I believe in, that surely someone that... No, no, I'm going to say it right. You're very curious how he... Come's back from this and whether that can then lead to success.
Right, you're very curious about that. - Yes. What the story is going to be when he comes back. Yes, definitely. - Yes, you are very curious about that. Yes. And now we go to Frenky-Dean,.. What are the thoughts of Frenky-Dean about this? Being successful is just something you're kind of good at actually...
I scored a lot of goals at soccer the other day, too many I thought... I think mom and dad are a little successful. Dad can be a little successful at jumping... He doesn't jump, he has to jump once. Mommy can be more successful, right in playing soccer... Yeah, because Mommy doesn't really play soccer that much. Mommy has to play soccer better,..
but she's pregnant, so that's why you can't really play hard... Later I'll be successful ehmm... playing soccer. If you want to be successful, then you have to do your best, really hard. But wait a minute, how cute, how adorable, the way he says successful.
The word, it has also been mentioned several times - Well… Sucseksfull. Well… - Sucseisfull. I melt every time I hear his little voice.
Sweet, right? - Yes. But you're not jumping Res? What's going on there? You're not jumping. Yes, sorry, yes daddy is already getting a little older, boy. - In your knees. What kind of world does he live in? Dad doesn't jump. If you're not jumping, you're not successful.
No, and if you're not running, neither are you. No, no, not playing soccer well. Yeah, and mom doesn't get forward that fast did he say? Yes, I'm pregnant so I can't go that fast either he means. But he scored a lot of goals and that was actually... Not a normal amount. - Not a normal amount. Yes.
Successful. He was overflowing with his own success on that field. Yes, boy oh boy. I guess I was blinking for a long time because I didn't see it.
Well, I do. See, that's what I'm talking about. You gotta lift that boy up. Yes hahaha. I do want to remain realistic. I'm very realistic, he's doing a great job He is also doing very well. - Yes. But sometimes he says, ''I have scored 500 times.'' But of course that's not true. No, but in his perception, it is and if you want to become so successful then you have to say, ''yes, nicely done.''
Then I always say that don't I? Then I say, ''wow 500 times?!'' Yes. - Your foot must be hurting. Exactly, because you got those ankles from your mother. Well, with your knees who don't bend. You don't have a nice suspension because you don't jump.
Well, rather my knees than your ankles. But the beauty of it is, he has my ankles and my knees and your moving function. Have you seen how he runs? Really when you two walk side by side well you know exactly who the parent is... That is really so funny. Yes, well... - Anyway... I've got to recover from it all.
Because he describes successful so beautifully? No, no, no, no, just our conversation. Did we now get an answer to the viewer's question, do you think? I don't want to answer that question with when that is because I think you.... In the past, a long time ago, I used to ask my mother, ''when does it stop, the universe, when does it stop?''.. I mean when is that wall, of yes and now it's finished, we're built out... And then my mother would say, ''yes but what's behind that wall?'' Then you also have another very big piece until there is a new wall,.. and then it was, what's behind that wall. Then I was all.... I could wrack my brain about that fact of;..
it just doesn't stop, so it just doesn't stop. It goes on indefinitely, and that's what I think of success. You don't have to stop... You can take breaks, you can enjoy, have an overview. For me it's never... it doesn't have to stop... It may be enough because you're satisfied where you are, but success doesn't have to stop, or growth doesn't have to stop... That's what I think. Your ceiling... sorry it's just an outdoor theater with me. I don't have a ceiling. Yeah, good one, good one. When are you successful enough for me?.. Yeah, I work a little bit more structured, to answer this one, yeah...
Yes, I then have short term and long term goals and then when I've achieved those,.. then I'm successful according to the points I've set at that time. - But when... And then I also have new ones. But when you get there, only then you know if what you've established now is true,..
because that's what you thought with that car. So now you may have in your mind, at this age financially independent,.. being able to pay for my children's studies and maybe give their children something too... Whatever your goals may be, which equals successful... Only when you get there at 95 and you've achieved it can we in our old creaky rocking chair say to each other,.. or you to me, ''it's true, then it was enough.'' Or maybe not at all...
So you can't answer that question at all dear because you just proved that to me with your whole car story. Yes, good point. So… Another lesson learned for the day.
I would just come and stand with me in my open-air theater and just enjoy an inexhaustible space. Maybe we also just need to remember what we have more often. Yeah, sure. We're going to polish up those 'Televizier' prizes a little bit later.
Okay. Thanks for listening everybody. - Thank you. It was wonderful draining at yours again wasn't it darling?.. You're looking at me right now... - I see all kinds of other things that you probably don't mean. No, no, no.
Is it like one of those balloons? Like the party is done, from zoefff. Deflating like that? It's done now yes. In the car I don't want to talk to you anymore, just be quiet. No, well, go home fast then. - And what are we going to cook today?
Something that Hello Fresh delivered. I know. I choose the quickest and easiest dish. Yes, they do. Those 15- or 20-minute dishes and then you're done in one sitting. Yes, five steps. Then don't start talking to me, I'll succeed on time.
Until next.. - Time This podcast is sponsored by Hello Fresh.
2021-05-04 08:44
