347. I went on a cruise to Norway on a GIGANTIC ship (P&O Iona, September 2024)

347. I went on a cruise to Norway on a GIGANTIC ship (P&O Iona, September 2024)

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[Music] hello and welcome to my second Cruise review I said last December after I did my first one that I had my eye on going to the Norwegian fjords and that's exactly what I've just done I also said last time that there was no danger of this turning into a cruise review Channel and that still holds true but I asked my patreon supporters if there was any interest in hearing about my cruise ship experience again and overwhelmingly they said yes hence this video now if cruising is not for you then just skip this one and the channel will be back to the usual schedule of canals narrow boats and inland waterways very soon if you are going to continue watching then be warned this is a long one so I have put chapter timings in the video description if you want to skip around the cruise then it was with P Ando the same lot I went with last time I did consider both Fred Olen cruises and the two Norwegian Ferry lines that also offer a cruise experience but being a typical Brit when I go abroad by which I mean I like British food and a cup of tea on hand at all times it just seemed safest for me to choose P again they have at least two ships that go to Norway there's Britannia which is the smaller one and Iona which is colossal and I chose Iona because a it was £50 cheaper and B since you have to cross the North Sea which is legendary for being a bit bumpy I figured the bigger boat would handle any swell better as it happens we pretty much had flat calm seas both ways which was extremely lucky and I'll mention now we also had the most unexpectedly fantastic weather apart from a bit of drizzle one morning every other day was warm and as we went through the week even gloriously sunny as you will see in the footage and pictures that are coming up now unlike my last Cruise where I flew out to the Canary Islands and joined the ship there this time I traveled down to Southampton by train to join the ship in its Home Port luckily I went down the night before because on the day of departure not only had the Southampton Boat Show got underway but Manchester United were playing Southampton so the traffic heading that way was apparently horrific and I heard from other Travelers that they nearly didn't make it because of road closures locally as well with my boarding time given as 3:45 p.m. I had most of the day to kill so I went for a wander around the city of which I'll give you a quick taster before we go aboard Southampton of course is where the Titanic set off from and there's plenty of memorials to it such as this one for the engineers this is to be found in a cluster of rather Pleasant parks in the center of the city Southampton is also where the Mayflower departed from of course the ship that took the pilgrim fathers To America that also gets commemorated in things like the Mayflower theater here no doubt it was an expensive ship of its time but these days the money is to be found in Luxury Motor Yachts down at Ocean Village which I could not help but have a browse over if you like boats a bit of browsing must be done and it was while walking away from there that I got my first glimpse of piano's giant of the Seas Iona I mean just look at the scale of that thing it is enormous how does it even float it doesn't seem feasible I arrived at the Port about 20 minutes early they were very strict in the instructions beforehand not to turn up before the stated time because with 5,000 guests to load up they needed everybody arriving in a smooth flow throughout the day rather than all at once however I was let straight through into arrivals where I checked in very quickly and went straight onto the Gangplank where again you have to pause in shock and a at the sheer bulk of this ship after a quick briefing at the must station which is where you have to go if there's an emergency I was on my way to my room which was on Deck four that is the lowest deck well the lowest passenger deck anyway look at how the corridor just vanishes into the distance so many rooms 5,000 or so passengers this ship can take my room was number 449 I chose that specific cabin because lower down means less wobbling in rough weather and it's also in the middle of the ship which again means less swaying about I couldn't book a solo cabin they'd all gone so I had sole use of an inside double and this is what you get a narrow Corridor with a bed at the end a bathroom on the left and wardrobes and a desk on the right that desk also held the vital tea and coffee making facilities which are crucial the toilet and shower room was F decent size very clean lots more places to put things and a shower cubicle with a proper door and lots of good towels on the wall were hooks for coats and air conditioning controls which worked but took a while to take effect the bed was a double nice and comfortable no complaints but 10,000 pillows and cushions which I kept having to remove every day because the cabin Steward kept putting them back on the back of the bathroom opposite the bed was a large Telly much better than the tiny and fuzzy one I had on The Last Ship as zura you could watch films and TV shows on this as well as checking your account balance and seeing where the ship was and then this is looking back at the door from the bed so much for the accommodation what about the facilities on board well with up to 5,000 customers aboard there have to be plenty of places for them to go and in a week I certainly didn't try every one of them having got on board and found my room I then wandered around frankly a bit overwhelmed by the size of everything and I ended up at one of the bars over on the open back deck looking over Southampton and as the weather was lovely this was perfectly fine for a bit of time to take stock and work out what next a lot of people in reviews I've seen pour a claim on the central atrium of the ship which is certainly impressive being three stories high with a helical staircase and loads of seating as well as a cafe area and one of the additional cost restaurants on the upper level it certainly seemed popular with everyone else on board because it was always absolute chaos in there and I cannot fathom for the life of me why everyone liked it so much the noise the hubub it was always overwhelming the hard floors not helping with the sound and being in the center of the ship on the main bar and restaurant decks people were always walking through as well it was Mayhem and it just felt like an airport departure Lounge to me so why anyone would choose to spend their time there I do not know on the upside it meant fewer people around the rest of the ship the atrium was also host to a few events such as the Stavanger Gospel Choir who were very good I'm sure but the amplification was turned up so loud for such a relatively small and echoey space that it was painful to listen to I mean physically painful it was so loud I only watched one song in fact I'm going to have a little rant now about loudness because the first night I went to the onboard theater again they turned the volume up so loud that my ears were distorting and I'm not someone with super sensitive hearing I normally like to turn the Telly up a bit but the theater sound system was ear ringing loud so that the show was painful to hear I took to sitting at the back for all future events and to continue a theme which Dar person decided that having a a so-called library with its own bar needed constant elevator music playing and to be open planned to the Bloomin Atrium so all the chaotic sounds from there came straight in too this was not a quiet calm Reading area as a library is supposed to be not least cuz it had its own bar orbe it behind a dividing wall and to add insult to injury the shells in this so-called Library only had about 20 books on them and half of those were reference books I found one fiction Thriller to read and then nothing else to add further insult to injury there was a note celet tape to the shelves that said book swab in other words they expected the passengers to provide the books it was such a far cry from the very cozy round and mostly quiet library on the previous ship I went on Azura which is a smaller ship and that one had actual books on the shelves too you'd have expected Iona being bigger to to be better but it was not and if I may a final rant about loudness there is rather impressively a full screen Cinema on board that is pretty good but I only tried it once because you guessed it someone had turned the amps up to 11 in really quite a small space and the cherry on the cake there was that someone in charge had switched on the audio description for the film so every time there was no dialogue a voiceover came on telling us what was happening on screen well everyone in the cinema was kind of looking around at each other in absolute bafflement and when I went out to find someone to sort it they didn't understand the problem and gave me some waffle about having two systems that weren't in sync which clearly wasn't the issue at all they just needed to find the remote and press audio description off now as far as I'm aware it wasn't that there was someone in the cinema who needed audio description there was no note saying this is an audio described film it was just on all the time and it completely spoiled the experience so they either didn't or wouldn't turn it off so I had to leave the film now I realize that all sounds a bit Moy but honestly I think they are valid grumbles audio in theaters shouldn't be so loud as to hurt and you should be able to have peaceful sanctuary in an area designated a library is that really too much to ask believe it or not I did have a fantastic holiday but I was honestly less impressed with Iona than I'd expected to be and after much consideration I prefer the older smaller azuro which I went on last time it has fewer facilities yet somehow seem to have more going on activities are given in the daily Horizon leaflet that gets put through your door every night but if you actually take out all the fluff like the sessions where The Cruise Company is trying to sell you stuff watches Cosmetics other holidays and so on you're actually left with a rather smaller selection of things to do and I just felt there wasn't much there if you didn't want to Simply sit and listen to music now I'm not dissing the talent of the onboard musicians they were great it's just that that was largely all there was to do sit with a drink and listen to a piano player or a busker or whatever as a Solo Traveler without a companion and as someone who dislikes small talk with strangers the options were not great thank goodness then for a lovely lady called Jane Davy who'd been invited aboard to give some talks about Norway this is more my thing and she is very eccentric but very entertaining a shame Pio didn't put more of this kind of thing on but perhaps I'm just on the wrong cruise line that is a possibility as I mentioned though I thought Azura was great other venues on the ship include the 710 club which had musicians each evening the Limelight club which you had to book in advance and there you got a meal and a singer there was the clubhouse which hosted one of Jane Davy's talks as well as a magician which I missed and a couple of quizzes now I will say here that I do like a nice quiz so it was good to have that as well as multiple daily quizzes in the ship's pub called broes I found myself spending a good amount of time there for the quizzes and also a couple of karaoke nights though I did not sing myself I nearly did but I didn't I was going to do Barry Manalo Copa Cabana but I I didn't quite uh get up and do it the problem with bro is that there's no table service so again traveling solo if I got up to get a drink by the time I got back my seat would have been taken there's what should have been in a rather nice venue right at the bow up top called The Crow's Nest where you get a splendid view ahead but inexplicably this place had the airon turned right down and it was positively Arctic in there I mean I know we were going to Norway but this was bizarrely chilly which was a shame because during the day it was one of the few places on the boat that was quiet but it was so damn cold I ended up leaving and it wasn't just me I asked someone else they said no no it really is cold in there I didn't try the speciality eateries such as the well-regarded cindu Indian restaurant because I prefer the simple and frankly allinclusive food from the main dining rooms but I know a lot of folk like to treat themselves to a bit of a feast it's just not for me the ship was so big though that I was still finding places throughout the week such as the beach coma bar which is adults only hooray there were not many children on board actually and they were mostly prechool age because I traveled in term time but it's nice to have an adults only area available and finally a bit of Applause for the Sky Dome on decks 16 and 17 this is an enclosed pool area during the day which became the venue for a rather good aerial acrobatics show in the evening very spectacular and loud and hats off to the performers dangling from ropes or Hoops above either the pool or a solid surface that rolled out over it it really was impressive stuff the food and service in the main dining rooms which are included in your fair was excellent I am not a foodie so I just want good solid tasty simple stuff and that's what they provide things like a nice tomato soup to start roasted chicken and veg for the main and then a lovely stodgy PUD with custard for dessert I tended to eating these restaurants for breakfast lunch and dinner apart from a couple of occasions my photos don't really do justice to the tastiness of the food but hopefully they give you the gist of what was on offer there was also lots of hand sanitizer around outside the restaurants and the buffet though I didn't see many people using it which is a shame as many people's hygiene is frankly disgusting as I'm sure you know and speaking of the buffet it was always Carnage in there with hordes of people crisscrossing each other's paths while carrying plates of food as if it was their last day on Earth and this was their only chance to get a meal one experience in there was quite enough and I never returned again people said the buffet on Azura was poorly laid out but honestly give me that one over the one on Ion any day it was chaotic on a more positive note I had heard very good things about the fish and chips in one of the other included restaurants which is next to the buffet and called the keys and I can confirm the tales are true it was very good you could also get Asian fusion food whatever that is and burgers though sadly the burger they gave me was almost stone cold so that did let the side down a tad also just to note that at breakfast time the keys switched it out but to American pancakes omelets and a Serve Yourself full English I tried each of these over the holiday and it was much more civilized than the buffet so I would recommend that if you don't want to sit in the main dining rooms I did have one mild experience that tarnished the eating slightly that it was arguably partly my fault as well on the first SE day at lunch in the dining room I was feeling greedy I was on holiday I ordered two puddings well one arrived but it was not what I ordered so I said excuse me I ordered something else meaning I ordered something different but the waiter I think heard that as I ordered another where is it and he snapped back at me yes it's coming give me a chance very grumpily perhaps I should have said this is not what I ordered rather than I ordered something else and it would have been clearer I'm sure they do get many miserable customers which must make them Snappy but in this case he had actually brought me the wrong pudding anyway hardly the the end of the world is it as for drinks I'm not much of a drinker I think I had three gin and tonics over the course of the whole week along with some Pepsi with my meals so it certainly wasn't worth getting a drinks package and they are very expensive I just paid as I went after deducting £3 of onboard credit that I was given before we started I ended up owing just £26 for extras like drinks and so we come to the star attraction of course which is the field WS themselves the cruise was seven nights which translates to six actual days but two of those are at Sea so you really only get four days in the fjords and on those days we were scheduled to visit Stavanger Stavanger Alden Allison and hagerson with apologies for my Norwegian pronunciation or not there wanting not to miss a moment and with sunrise at 7:00 a.m. I got up with the Lark on the Monday to see the shadowy shapes of the fs of Stanga looming head and to the side after snapping a few shots I popped back inside to the warm for one of the rare occasions when I didn't use the main dining rooms having instead a full English breakfast from the keys which was very nice being a boat nerd it was interesting to watch the ship maneuver ever so gently using its bowel Thruster and these steerable AIP pod drives in other words the propellers at the back they can turn around to push the boat where they want to go also amusing is the Colossal size of the fenders which are about as as big as my entire boat once docked I just went for a walk which is largely how I spent my time in all the ports bar one which I'll come to I'm going to mention again here the sheer vastness of the ship which becomes apparent when you're standing next to it on the dock it is huge thankfully the Norwegians make things very easy for tourists with easy to read signs in English and very soon I was pottering around the harbor looking back at the giant ship that brought me here a swan made me feel right at home just as if I was on the canal again we were just missing a heron really the town is very pretty I don't know if the architecture style is typical of the country or designed for tourists but it felt like a film set somehow there was a considerable amount of art on display such as sculptures and statues of a man with a goat a boy on a horse some sheep and a bloke with a pointy stick graffiti is big here for sure whether it's murals or whole area set aside for graffiti expression the town has a rather nice Lake in the middle and a historic church famously it also has a particular Street where all the shops and houses are very colorfully painted I don't know why inevitably and somewhat depressingly there's a Burger King rather more unexpectedly there was a branch of spec Savers one thing's for sure you can always see the ship it Towers over everything I ambitiously took a bus to the most famous local exhibit the three swords that was exciting the bus trip I mean not least because I only discovered as the bus arrived that it doesn't take credit cards and I needed to download an app create an account register a credit card and then buy a ticket all of which I needed to do while in the short queue to get on board well amazingly the driver just saw me panicking and waved me on board when I faffed around with my phone before eventually showing him the ticket barcode which he wasn't interested in seeing anyway perhaps I have an honest face anyway I reached the three swords which is exactly as its name implies three huge swords stuck in the ground the location is apparently where Harold Fair gathered Norway into one Kingdom in 872 and the swords symbolize peace unity and freedom it was all unveiled by King Olaf in 1983 so I read it was rather pleasant as was the F it sits on returning to the ship for a late lunch I noticed a market at which any number of troll themed items could be purchased as well as woolly hats and socks because Norway is cold or at least it's supposed to be on my holiday every day except one was glorious Sunshine that day was the very next one after the ship had moved overnight to Alden getting up early again we approached through quite the drizzle yet even so it seemed rather magical and wasn't at all cold the very low clouds cutting through the hills were rather Splendid giving the landscape a very mystical air look how calm the water was that was a relief as it was this day that I picked to go kaying as the sun rose and the drizzle stopped I got some rather Splendid pictures if I say so myself which by the way I posted to my Instagram feed do follow me there boat nerd alert again I'd been wondering how they got the bow and Stern lines from the ship to the ballards ashore and it turns out a little boat comes to pick them up and Dro them securely into place my kayaking was scheduled for 9:30 a.m. so after squeezing myself into a flattering dry suit and a life jacket the group was shown The Kayaks and the paddles and reassuringly told that the fjs are up to 4,000 ft deep everyone except me in our group had done kaying before though the chap I was team we had only done it once yes these were twin kayaks which was fine and we didn't tip over though things did get a little wobbly if one of us moved too far but I think we got on okay not only did we paddle around the F but the instructors also got us to huddle up as a group occasionally when they would tell us interesting facts about Norway plus some Legends such as this Mark in the Rock apparently being made by Odin's H's hoof jumping over the mountains and while we were out the entire crew of Iona did a Lifeboat drill which had them luring the lifeboats and pretending that the ship was sinking it's good to know they do these drills after a bit of lunch I went for another wander round just up the road and back there didn't seem to be a main town as such I did find a small group of shops but it is oh so incredibly pretty it's just absurdly Scenic mountains into the distance as far as you can see one of the famous aspects of Alden with respect to the cruise ships is that the locals next to the dock come out with flags and torches and hold a bit of a ceremony as the ship departs they blast music out of loud speakers from the cafe and everyone on the ship stands on that side and waves back at the Norwegians it really is rather fun and I heard several people the next day saying they'd found it rather moving and were welling up with tears as we left I was rather lucky to grab the last Prime position on the viewing platform that sticks out of the side of the ship I had to wait an hour or so till we actually moved away from the dock once again using those bowel thrusters and aipods to push the ship sideways as the locals drove their rib past beded with a Union Jack that night I went to another show in the headliners theater followed by karaoke in brodies meanwhile the ship went onto Allison the next day where there were plenty of trip boats waiting to take your money for tours of the fjords but if you're staying in town you have a couple of options one is a Road train that winds around the local roads with a commentary pointing out the sights and the other is a walk up 48 steps to the top of the hill where there is a Viewpoint with spectacular views all around yep there it is up there I chose the latter but first went for a walk around at ground level and oh my again this was such a beautiful place you know the entire trip I think I spotted one just one piece of litter and so I wandered towards the base of the steps which is in a nice park it looked like people were queuing to get up but really it was just a long moving line there was no waiting involved you do need to be reasonably fit and able to get up this way though it a bit steep in places and I was huffing and puffing and sweating quite unpleasantly as I went along as I am terrifically unfit luckily whoever put the steps in also put loads of viewing platforms along the way as well including benches to sit on and they number some of the steps so you know how well you're doing here's Iona seen from just halfway up the hill and again from the top it really is a fantastic location up there with views for miles around not wanting to just come straight back down I then discovered there's a whole set of gravel Pathways along the top of the hill with lights every few yards and again loads of viewing points with picnic tables I found a cave and a watchtower which gave even better views I mean look at this and I got a good look back at the way I'd come plus it had a toposcope to let you know which way is which eventually you find another path down from which you get a super viw of the harbor and the town regular viewers will be pleased to hear I found a cheese shop though I didn't eat a single cheese sandwich the entire time I was away a further wander around more of the Town followed with some lovely water side property I had a nap that afternoon tired from all the walking but I was out on deck for our sailway again the whole place was stunning especially as the sun started to go down we'd been warned that the Northern Lights might be visible overnight and that if they did show up the bridge would make a tanoy announcement into the corridors not into the rooms they didn't want to actually wake people up if they wanted to sleep as luck would have it the lights did very very faintly come out and I woke up from hearing the announcement in the corridors so at 3:00 a.m. I joined a handful of other passengers on Deck rather struggling to see the aurora because of the lights on the ship's deck but eventually I got this rather poor photo both my old iPhone and my little camera just weren't really up to the job one chat was up there with a tripod and big camera and all the gear I'm sure those pictures were super day four meant our final Port of Call and this was hogerson hogerson which has the most uninspiring and Industrial dock as the cruise port is about a kilometer away from the town center it's an easy and well-signed walk though past this rather Splendid speedboat and over this bridge which leads you into the town some reading beforehand had alerted me to the possibility of getting a bus from the Town Center up to the rising tide sculpture but after picking up a free map at the dog I reckoned it would be perfectly feasible to walk it so I did firstly along the Main Street where I encountered this British telephone box which is now part of a Bookshop there was a lovely park then a church and before I knew it I was heading towards the sea well f as you can see it was an utterly gorgeous day and I was already regretting bringing even a light jacket there was a marker showing where the boundary of the Town used to be in 1910 and from there on it was just stunning stunning view after stunning stunning view the air was crisp and clean the path was busy but not too much and there were sheep grazing to keep the grass down although I was heading towards the famous Rising tide sculpture the first stop was the calan lighthouse which I'm sure is not how it's said in Norwegian kin Karan it was built in 1890 electrified in 1870 and until 1977 it had a fog horn too but a tourist information note said it was no longer needed because of modern navigational AIDS you can see the rising tide from the lighthouse and it's just a short walk around this is a big tourist attraction with four sculptures of horses in the water which get covered up when the tide comes in according to the visit Norway website the work alludes to the retired workhorses while drawing attention to our continuous dependence on fossil fuels and the apocalyptic climate change they potentially represent I am quoting the website there but the trouble with tourist attractions is they attract tourists and it's very hard to get a decent picture of the horses cuz so is everybody else it could do with a ticketing system where you can step up take your photo with everyone else out the way and then clear off being such a beautiful I decided to walk further but this time back into town where I found quite a substantial Lake surrounded by trees back at the boat for lunch of a turkey sandwich with chips and then an absolutely lovely chocolate tart with ice cream I idled away the afternoon before we left huson and sadly began to return home the sailway party was a riotous affair at the back of the boat which resulted in one of the crew doing the Forfeit of having to jump in the pool the rest of the staff soon joined her hogerson looked wonderful as we went though we almost immediately hit thick low-lying sea fog and though that Lighthouse May no longer have a fog horn our ship certainly did and made good use of it the return trip across the North Sea was sunny warm not even bumpy thank goodness though it was certainly mildly rougher than when we came over but the Good Ship I owner just soaked it all up and you'd never have known there were any waves outside by and large unless you looked finally then came the tricky business of departure back in Southampton just imagine if you will 5,000 people all trying to leave a ship at once to say there were long cues is an understatement but I held back and had breakfast before leaving and the queue though still long kept moving without any problems and I was off by 8:30 a.m. to conclude then finally I hear you shriek in relief I had an excellent time yes I know I moaned about the noise and loudness of the ship and I couldn't find a quiet spot anywhere but that aside it was a very good trip indeed the room was fine perfectly decent for sleeping in the food and service were 99% excellent cold burger and grumpy waiter aside Norway was lovely quiet clean friendly spectacular views just a nice place to be the weather was amazing and I met some lovely people on board fellow solo Travelers and couples alike in fact the solo lot got into a bit of a group meeting for breakfast and evening meals but one of the unexpected joys of cruising for me a complete introvert was wandering up to the dining rooms and being allocated a random table with random people because without fail these were delightful encounters even though and perhaps because you'd never see the people again the mere transience of it made it a relaxing and fun meeting anyway it also meant I didn't really join in so much with the solos group dining precisely because I enjoyed meeting random people at dinner anyway if any of the solos group are watching hello again it was lovely to meet you but I was always going to do my own thing it's just the way I am the big problem with being solo is the cost you have to pay almost the double occupancy rate so if the cruise is advertised at £800 for example that is per person you will pay about ,500 as a solo now it might be you managed to get an early discount or a very late bargain but by and large you are severely stuffed when traveling alone and that of course means well for me at least almost no money left for the excursions which is why I mostly walked about and only did the kaying it's rather frustrating and even if you manage to get a solo room they still sting you for much more than the couple's rate I need a travel buddy but it also needs to be someone I can bear to be in a room with all night so they mustn't snore fart or even breathe too loudly you know I think I'll just have to keep saving to go alone on just day two of the cruise I felt as though I'd been on board for weeks it was thoroughly relaxing and yes I will certainly do another cruise at some undetermined point in the future a friend of mine in Australia recently regaled me with Tales of a fjord's cruise to New Zealand and as my New Zealand trip was cut so abruptly short in 2020 for obvious reasons maybe I should save up for a few years and go back there on a ship anyway that about wraps it up thank you so much for watching I doubt anyone will will have watched all the way through because I do rabbit on so But whichever bits of the video you saw I hope they were enjoyable and maybe useful cheerio [Music] [Music]

2024-10-15 15:50

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