Unapologetic Truths Episode 4 featuring LifeMathMoney & ArmaniTalks

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welcome to the armani talks podcast i'm your  host armani talks in this podcast i'm helping   you level up your communication skills every  mondays wednesdays and fridays you will learn   more about public speaking social skills creative  writing and plenty of other topics regarding soft   skills so hit that subscribe button hit  that bell notification and stay updated   today we are back for unapologetic truths part 4  with harsh strongmen life math money welcome back   hey armand how are you doing doing well can  you believe that we're already on number four   it's like do we have this little saga going on  time fast time passes fast brother we are more   than halfway through the year already and it was  a breeze yes i want to go back and talk about   one of our first interactions together where i  believe this is going to open up a big lesson   for you don't know until you ask so i believe  one of our first interactions happened when   we were both starting our twitter accounts at  the same time you started on may 2018 right   i started june 2018. so from the very beginning we  started around the same time and i think initially   you invited me to do a guest blog on your website  which was how to become a better storyteller   and then after the guest blog i was just like  you know i'm starting a podcast it'll be pretty   funny if uh harsh wrong men life math money can  actually come through but initially when i asked   you i thought you were just going to say a flat  out no and in the initial stages i think you were   you said yes down the line but i thought  that was just a polite way of saying no   but as a few months went on  by we actually coordinated it   and it happened so i thought that was a good  lesson and you just don't know until you ask   absolutely i think people tend to think that  everyone is extremely busy or just will say no   and sometimes that is the case but you lose  nothing by asking and in some cases just by   asking you sort of let the person whom you ask the  question to know that you exist so in the future they you will be a familiar face to them  rather than someone who's completely   new so even if you get a new just the fact  that you asked is a bit of an introduction   so there is nothing to lose and everything to gain exactly did you ever have that  moment where you asked and they just   flat out said no and you were embarrassed or  you don't really get embarrassed like that i don't think i've ever gotten embarrassed  and there's probably been many times or   asked something and got no but to be honest  i can't really remember of the top of my head it's one of those things so you don't  really remember all the rejection if you   keep asking for a lot of things like if you  make it a habit to try to get what you want   you have so many rejections that you stop  remembering them and it stops hurting like   you really don't care like it's just you haven't  lost anything and it's just just another day   yes it's basically abundance mindset where i wrote  a blog post a couple of months back where i wrote   it about how to overcome rejection fast and  i said it really comes down to thinking about   opportunities as grapes if you're eating a bunch  of grapes and one of the grapes falls are you just   going to be sweating about that and being like  oh no what am i gonna do this one grape fell   you'll probably be thinking that if you haven't  eaten in a long time and you don't have any   other grapes but if you have a whole bunch of  other grapes with you then just dropping one   it is what it is so i think it's the same  thing with opportunities where if you're in   motion you're creating some different items for  yourself then getting a rejection every now and   then is like a dropped grape i would have to agree  although i would like to add that it is something   that you need practice to just become comfortable  with for example if you start getting into sales   let's say that you pitch your  first customer and they say no   it's going to hurt a little bit but as you keep  going you will get some wins a lot of failures and   it would just become a way of life and  it would stop impacting your emotions   and that's the case with rejection across anything  the more practice you get is the more more you are   used to taking chances the more chances you take  the bolder you are you learn to accept the fact   that you cannot win every single shot you take  and the act of taking this shot is still worth it you have to see the failure as a win that you  have gotten more experience you have taken a   shot you have basically gotten ahead you give a  trivial example that is let's say that there's   a cute girl on the street and you go and  say hi and you know try to get her number   even if you get a flat out no you've still gotten  more experience like you have still gone out of   your comfort zone done something new and maybe the  next time you do it you have learned something and   you will be better and you will you might succeed  the next time so you have to see it as a win right it's funny that you brought up that  example because around high school for me   which was almost a decade ago there was this  popular show that came out that started to   resonate with a lot of young men it was called  the pickup artist and this is where the there's   a guy named mystery he talks about different  frameworks how to pick i haven't tried it yet   i just bought it because someone recommended  it to me is it the one with neil strauss um   i'm not sure but it's i think it's a book  about game i think uh yeah so that's the one   i don't know the full story of this guy though  i remember reading about him in the rational   mail and apparently got well he fell for some  girl and basically became a total weird vitamin yeah so i didn't actually ever read that book i  heard about it a lot because i believe it was that   mystery guy who's bringing it up in the show the  pickup artist but basically the concept of the   show is where you get a bunch of geeky men and you  surround them with three casanovas the people that   can pick up women very quickly one of them was  mystery and the other two i forgot their names   and basically for the next couple of weeks these  pickup artists teach these dorks how to start   picking up girls and what i'm telling you these  guys are dorks they are flat out losers they play   they just stay at home all the time they don't  really interact with many people so this is going   to be a challenge this is the whole concept  of the show it's basically a competition for   the next couple of weeks to see who from these  geeks turns into a pickup artist and over time   it's basically what you just recommended just to  keep practicing and practicing and practicing so   they're basically being put in these different  situations where they have to exercise their   social skills they're going to clubs they're  going to approach random strangers on the street   and over time you'll see two of the people who  have such drastic transformations and you're just   seeing their personality change in the show so  over time it was funny because during high school   this show sparked a little cultural movement a  lot of the guys are like i want to do that as well   i don't know if that was ever happening where  you're from but this was a very popular show   where i'm from but i would say this  from what you have told me is that this is well in some cases it makes sense but   i'll draw an analogy okay let's say that you  have a product and you have two aspects to it   one is the quality of the product and the other  is the marketing and what you're talking about   some guy who plays video games all day and now  he's just exposing himself to social situations   he's improving his marketing and that is going to  give him some success like terrible products with   good marketing do get sales but over the long run  you are better off improving the product itself   in this case this geeky guy needs to get rid  of his video games go to the gym fix his body   fix his finances fix his social skills and  also fix his marketing like he shouldn't just   focus on the social skills aspects because that's  just a very superficial thing he needs to get the   foundation ready and the whole marketing aspect  then becomes really easy it's very easy to learn   social skills if you're a heart rich guy like  people will be far more forgiving of your mistakes so you're basically saying  do both at the same time   where you should increase your value and then  it becomes much easier to share value to others   i think the first clarity should be increasing  your value simply because it makes learning   social skills and improving your presentation  much easier it makes people more receptive   to give you an example let's say this really fat  obese guy okay but he's a very friendly smooth   and interesting person how many people would  still entertain him even for a first meeting   a lot of people will not like people will just  write him off on the spot because they will assume   this guy must be a crap head he doesn't he's fat  and complete people will just make assumptions   and not even want to give him a chance so this  guy is better off fixing his foundation first   this opens many doors and then fixing your  social skills is a very trivial thing you   can do it in two three four months by going  out every single day and trying to talk to   more and more people read the book how  to win friends and influence people   fixing your social skills is not that difficult  but building a foundation takes some time and   i would recommend at least start working on  your foundation before you go out and start   basically trying to meet more people  because almost all the people you meet will   probably reject you if you give off the y but the  foundation is not there yet like if you have that   have you seen that nerdy look some nerdy people  have where they look like this guy has not gotten   off his computer in or in an entire year and  he hasn't even trimmed his beard properly yeah   and no matter how cool this guy's life might  be if he goes out and actually tries to talk   to people people will just make the assumption  this guy is a boring nerd and will not even give   him a chance especially women women will women  won't even give him a second look in most cases so he's he's better off  like going to the gym first   yes so in my book charisma king i talk about how  self-improvement and social skills go hand in hand   where nowadays a lot of  individuals want to compare things   is it what you say or how you say it and my  philosophy is that you need a little bit of both   and just to give you an example imagine a harsh  i come up to you and i'm giving you a hamburger   but the hamburger doesn't have a wrapping around  it it's just my palm holding onto the burger and   me being like here you go harsh eat this you'll  be like man i don't want to eat that and this is   weird where's the wrapper you should  have put it in a nice little wrapper   before you presented it to me so in a different  situation i give you the burger and this time   it's a wrapper on it a very polished one of that  and you'll be like all right yeah i'll eat this   i know you're on a diet by the way so just for the  sake of example in this situation it's where the   product in itself without any form of marketing  may turn certain people off but let's say i   just give the person the wrapper with no burger  inside or the burger inside is moldy once again   all these variables play a big role so for us to  get the final product for it to work perfectly we   should have a great burger we should polish it up  correctly with a nice wrapper and then we deliver   it so it's not only what versus how it's what  and how how can we create that synergy and that's   pretty much what the book charisma king is trying  to bring home to the person where you shouldn't   ever just rely on social skills and separated from  self-improvement you should be combining it with   one another you should be taking your fashion  fitness your self-education very seriously and   that by itself makes you a much more interesting  person that can connect with others with more ease   makes complete sense so how do you think somebody  let's say is a complete and total nerd like the   guy in the show you mentioned what would be  a good starting point for him in your opinion   so the first one i would highly recommend is build  something it could either be business or body i   recommend starting off with a body just because  it automatically gets you feeling a different way   and once you start understanding how to build a  stronger body be more flexible increase strength   that's when another variable just falls out of  it which is fashion i came to find out that a   lot of guys don't take their clothes seriously  at all they're like man it's completely feminine   i'm not saying that you got to be a model  or anything but at least we're close at fit   and if you have a great body automatically you  could pretty much wear anything with high quality   and it's better clothes can influence  perception very well so by focusing on the body   we just had another variable fall out of it and  from there i recommend building some sort of   business or side hustle because i think it's very  difficult to have a lot of confidence in yourself   especially as a man if you don't create anything  and you just consume all day so those would be my   three different ways to become much more  interesting and then when you're interacting   with other people you come from that higher value  rather than asking them oh man how can i get them   to like me you're starting to wonder do i like  them so those would be how i start what about you   agreed i had a very similar journey so  i started going to the gym when i was 16   and before that i used to be a bit of a nerd  and not in a negative sense but i would i was   very interested in technology and software and  things like that and i would spend most of my   time on my computer and didn't really care  about other people's perception so i wasn't   hard opera i wasn't socially i wasn't too inept  but i just wasn't interested in people at all and   i would rather just play video  games and relax and watch some tv   so it happened by accident  that i started going to the gym   and that day kind of changed my life  because i remember when i joined the gym   the gym trainer asked me to do some  push-ups and i could not do a single push-up   and yeah i could not do a single push-up  at 16 and i think i weighed like 70 kg i   was like a very skinny kid at 70 kg  and i couldn't do a single pull up   and it it was a shocker because i used to  think at that point that i'm healthy and   when you think you're healthy and you can't do a  push-up you realize how healthy you actually are   so over time and it wasn't like a one day and then  everything was different but over the next two   years so when i was 16 i think i was just out of  10th grade i was in like 11th grade when i started   going to the gym so over the next two years 11th  and 12th grade i would focus more and more in the   gym and i would actually see a lot of changes in  my body what would happen is that i would spend   two three hours in the gym and i would not  work out for two three as i would like spend   i would work out very slowly talk to  everybody there basically be a teenager and   but i was still making some gains  and my body was changing quite a bit   and i remember that every time i would meet  someone after a few months people would give me   a lot of compliments people would be like you look  completely different you stand up straighter now   you're taller and you are more muscular and you  no longer look like a small wind can blow you away   and that i found that to be very motivating  and that led me into other things as well   for example once your body starts getting  better women are going to notice you more   you will have more confidence to do what you want  the more compliments you get generally the more   confidence you will have and the more your  self-esteem will be especially around that age   so at that point i just it was just a big change  in my life and that allowed me to pursue other   things as well so i got into business later which  also has been very successful and good for me   and it's just been getting to the gym fixing  my body has created a lot of momentum that led   me into other things so i would have to agree with  what you say the first place to start is your body   it fixes a lot of things for you   and when you were out of shape harsh were you the  very fat out of shape or were you overly skinny   i have been both i have been both very fat  and i have been very skinny so when i was   when i was until 8th or 7th grade i used to  be chubby and the reasoning at least what my   mother says is so when i was in second grade  i got something called jaundice so it's a very   annoying disease where everything becomes  yellow and it got really really bad to me and somehow it healed properly thankfully but  the doctors on that point basically told me   and my mother that your body is gonna basically  balloon up over the next few years and that tends   to happen to everyone who gets jaundice really  which really did happen i really did balloon up   but after ninth eighth ninth grade  you start getting dollars so fast that   all the calories that you have around your body  get consumed so at that point i became very skinny   which is a little interesting because i was  70 kg and 70 kg is not what you would expect   a 15 or 14 year old to be skinny  at but i was still quite skinny and 70 kg i'm just translating that into pounds  because just for 155 pounds and you're not a   short guy either you're a pretty tall guy  so you must have been really skinny then   i was quite skinny yeah so for me uh so here's  my story so for reference i weigh 225 now   that's crazy thanks you've gained a lot of  weight since then oh yeah i've done quite a   bit of cotton bulk cycles and it  took me a while to gain some mass   although i'm trying to cut now maybe i'll cut six  seven kgs and then bulk again and that's another   process of the whole weightlifting thing where  in the beginning stages you're just thinking   it's go to the gym lift weights but later on as  you progress on the journey nutrition is just   a big factor as well and then there's sleep and  then there's how you eat when you eat everyone's   body type is different so it takes you in a  different journey other than just going to   the gym and ending it right there is more so a  lifestyle change agreed although i i don't think   newbies should worry about that i think they just  need to get in the gym and do a workout come home   and do that regularly i wasn't even that regular  when i started because i was 16 and i would rather   spend time with my friends and you know watch  tvs i would just go maybe three four times a week   but it did it really does make a lot of difference  and you will grow very fast in your first year and it just teaches you about discipline as well   so you basically got your wake-up call when  you couldn't do a push-up when you were 16.   yes it it was physical or such a real-world  confirmation that what i thought of myself   and what i actually was did not tally up   i came to realize that a lot of people  that go to the gym they have a lot more   just accountability in general because they're  not expecting someone to save them if they can't   lift this much amount of weight they understand  that yo it's because of me that i can't lift this   weight now i got to do something about it and  i think this is the perfect mindset when you're   starting to run a business where you start  to act like the ceo and you're like man this   isn't going to happen unless i'm showing  up this podcast isn't going to get recorded   if armani and harsh aren't both showing up where  there's accountability that's being factored in   see the thing with things i go to the gym is  that the main variable is yourself and you can't   really blame anybody else so you can't say that  i can't do xyz i can't lift this much weight or i   am fat because of racism or whatever other reason  because of some political party or because of some   president or or whatever other reason that you  people you like to give for your other failures so   you will rarely find complainers feminists  political people in places like sports where   it is really about merit if you are good  at something you're good at something   and if you're bad you're bad and you  can't really blame anybody else for it yes that's why dude you have me dying laughing  whenever let's say one of your tweets goes viral   and say certain people are being like  yo man this isn't right this isn't right   you'll get that you'll get their profile  picture and you'll make fun of their chin see i don't i don't try to shame people like  this but if you're gonna attack me on twitter   prepare to be attacked back okay because this  is not the place where we just take it if you   are gonna start calling me a misogynist racist  sexist you have to be prepared to hear an answer   you can't go and attack people and then expect  them to do nothing about it but that's too funny   but that really goes to show the  point that when people don't have   their own physicality under control  they have all these opinions i don't   hold up in reality like if this some  guy can't even manage his own weight   why would anyone listen to his opinions about  anything like you don't even know what to eat yeah i mean one of the skill sets nowadays is  learning how not to have an opinion where if you   always have an opinion on any new thing  that other people are talking about   what you're doing is you're overloading your  information system because people are just   walking information systems and when you're over  here having an opinion on this matter this matter   this matter now where is your attention going on  for investing back in yourself probably not much   so it's funny because when you're basically making  fun of the chin i actually see it as a symbol for   you bringing awareness to other facets of their  life which i'm sure you weren't even thinking   about i'm pretty sure you're just thinking and let  me clown this dude real quick but it is a symbol   at the end of the day well it's more of a  humiliation tactic so to speak from my head   because you see these people have no  self-awareness in the sense that there are guys   online who have ex chins that are so loose that  that basically means that they have no muscle   like they they have a lot of fat and they have no  muscle but somehow they will start attacking you   for whatever you say like how about you  fix your life first brother and then   start telling me what i can and can't say  and there's also another aspect to it where   it just goes to show that people on  our side people who think like us   are fit healthy rich people and people who  think like them are fatsos with loose chins   so there's a good subliminal messaging there  that i'm trying to promote dude because our side   of twitter i mean i don't like to normally just  call it self-improvement twitter i like to call   it just improvement twitter it's very small yeah  it's very small where i try to view twitter as a   universe and i consider us a very small planet  where within our planet there's guys that talk   about fitness my page talks about communication  skills your page talks about accounting finances   health certain pages talk about relationships  but it's a very small part of twitter where   for me personally i have the armani talks  twitter page where i strictly use it to create   and then i have just a personal page where  i you know interact with my college buddies   some co old school co-workers and when i  scroll through that feed it's just weird a   lot of the tweets that go viral it's just about  people complaining whining i basically bringing their flaws into light and those  are the tweets that are stacking up   50 000 likes 100 000 retweets and it just makes  me realize just having two twitter accounts   how small self improvement twitter rising  twitter whatever you call it really is   i would say self improvement twitter has at  best maybe 1 million people at best and that is   compared to a twitter's monthly active use base  of 350 million people so it's like 0.3 percent do you see that changing down the future  do you see rising twitter taking up more   or do you think this is just how reality  is people are attracted to the negative i do see it growing but i don't see it becoming the mainstream way of thought well it will become  mainstream amongst certain circles but i think   entertainment and whatever wastes time  what is based on emotion will always be   more popular because 80 percent of people on  the planet lack the sensitivity or the dna to basically care about self-improvement  and to have any ambition and your twitter at this point i i would actually  say it's the biggest in rising twitter so you're   bringing awareness to this and i have a funny  story of last year my neighbor he's an indian   fellow and his roommate is australian and i  remember i was walking down one of these days   and they had just gotten into twitter and they  were like yo armani what are your other interests   and i tell them about some other interests that i  have and they were like yo man you should follow   this account called lifemathmoney on twitter  and it was just so funny to me because this is   a person in tampa florida and he's being aware of  your account i was like man this guy has no clue   that you know me and life math money actually have  a you know conversations and that sort of stuff   where for this person he's like yo man i'm  putting you on some game check out life matt   money but i hope that guy is listening to this  yeah like wait and johnny himself you knew him i think he ended up buying one of your  products as well oh is it well thank you   brother if you're listening see it's always so  good when people support you the main motive for   life math money is to basically consolidate  all the lessons that i learned in my life   and put it out there for younger people to read  and learn from so that they can grow faster   because i i happen to be in a very unique  position to learn because i'm a young entrepreneur   and i'm also fit and i have a lot of interests and  i read a lot so i tend to get a lot of knowledge   from different places and i i'm basically  creating a repository of the most important   most valuable pieces of knowledge that i have  found in my own personal life and experience   and i'm putting it up on live math  money for everybody so instead of   use having to spend 20 years to  learn it you can get it right away see you would you give an example would you  rather marry the wrong woman and get divorced   or would you rather read the life math money  article on how to pick a woman correctly so   the chances of you getting divorced are minimal   like this is something that you  don't want to learn the hard way right is that a new article you wrote or one  of your quotes oh so we got a preview going on   do you have one of the tips that you want  to include in this episode or it's still   being created well it's still being created but i  will tell you one of the tips and you should not   marry a woman who has a bad relationship with  her father because a woman's father is what sets   a tone for all the masculine relationships she  has in her life so if she respects her father and   understands why he's protective she is far left  more likely to respect you and understand you   than some woman who hates her father and thinks  he was a patriarch who was harassing her because   then that's the image she will cast upon you  and she will always view you with some suspicion   and she carries a lot of emotional baggage to  hate your own father is a lot of baggage and   it also seems to be not so uncommon so that first relationship with the father plants  the relationships that she's gonna have with   other men yes see it's a lot like this is the lens  she's going to view masculinity with this was her   introduction to men when she was very young and  if it's a very crappy one if she hates a father   that crappy projection will apply to you  i'll give you a ben franklin quote and   it's a very good quote and has a lot of  deep wisdom in it it goes something like a bad daughter will make an uncontro a bad  daughter will make an unmanageable wife let me let me look it up to see the exact  wording because it had a lot more power   and it just gave me a minute i don't want to  ruin it sure was this from his autobiography   this one is from his book uh his  almanac poor richards almanac who are richard let me see sure i mean benjamin franklin was a polymath so each  of the insights that he bought i mean he must have   put a lot of thought behind it an unbeautiful  daughter will prove an unmanageable wife   so it starts with her as a daughter so if  how is her relationship with her father   and if it's bad it's going  to be bad with you as well well you guys heard it here folks this is going  to be uh this is going to be a very interesting   blog post once you're done with it send it  over and i'll link it in the description box   awesome i will do so so what is your  take on this what do you think is a   great woman to marry and what should men  avoid well i 100 agree with the the father   relationship that you just gave and  what i found very peculiar is that   i was reading the comments of this one video a  couple of weeks back and it's basically where   this one girl had a great relationship with her  father growing up but within the past couple of   years with like a bunch of the talk regarding  the patriarchy this patriarchy that something   within her her mind got polluted and she started  to view her dad in a completely different lens   and she started to you know be very disrespectful  towards him and was like man you were a patriarch   my entire childhood now that i think about  it and you never let mom do this and that   you never let me do this and that and for  a couple of months she apparently had this   very resentful attitude towards her father and  those months turned into years and the reason that   she was posting the comment was because the video  that she was posting a comment on was basically a   video of a guy that was saying you are being  brainwashed hey all this propaganda regarding   patriarchy this patriarchy that is ruining you and  so when she wrote that comment she was like listen   i fell victim to this where i used to love my  father then i became jaded towards him and during   his last couple of years of living i was able  to luckily salvage that relationship again so   that's a big point that needs to be made where  even if you do have great memories with someone   and you get new knowledge and you feed it  to this person it can completely distort   those memories and make you think of it in a  different way so to add to answer your question   i think yes the relationship with the father is  important but another factor that i factor in is   what kind of knowledge is she consuming because  if she's consistently consuming garbage then i'm   pretty sure she's going to switch up on me in just  a matter of time if she is someone who seems like   a good person but she's always reading a whole  bunch of this propaganda a sensationalist news i   am never taking a girl like that seriously because  this is a person whose mind can be controlled   and if her mind can be controlled then  easily her behavior can be controlled   does that make sense definitely i  would have to completely agree here   basically if she's consuming feminist  harpy and you know modernist crap   this is like good food on a bad plate it's gonna  get bad eventually it's just a matter of time so   you're better off not eating it yeah dude because  i mean that comment i don't think people whoever's   listening to this understand how deep that comment  was because it ended up being pinned by the   initial guy because he's basically she's showing  that her past got altered strictly due to new   information and then she had to basically unlearn  a whole bunch of this stuff so it's important what   people are consuming and to take it even a little  further harsh who is she hanging out with is she   consistently hanging out with losers if that's the  case i don't know if i want to be with her because basically who you hang out with is eventually  going to play a big role in just how you   think how you act so to answer your question i  would say the kind of knowledge she's consuming   and the kind of people she's hanging out with   i would have to agree that as well although  i will say that women in relationships tend to listen to you if you are male so   if you disapprove of her friends  she is very likely to give them up i should write a blog post on this too well not  all women and spoiled women will not do that but   if it's a good woman and she's only  starting to go bad then you can save her   like a woman that has already gone bad  can't be saved but if she's only starting   to hang around in these circles then there's  still time and i'll give you an example okay   so here in india this is mad woman and  her mother-in-law and they were out   basically like it was like a meeting of family  friends and everybody and we had this one woman   in our group uh the family circle make  a comment about that basically said that your in-laws like for a woman her in-laws  are basically an annoyance and she should   try to get rid of them as soon as possible and  this woman's mother-in-law screamed she tells a   daughter-in-law immediately right there and there  you'll never be friends with this woman and she   both of them just left and she basically saved  this daughter-in-law's life by preventing her from   getting this whole crappy ideology in her  head by hanging around this other woman whoa this happened with someone you know or this  happened it's a story it happened yeah man and   the same thing with guys i mean for because  a lot of women listen to this podcast as well   if you're trying to choose a guy you gotta  also be very aware a guy that's not ambitious   for example is going to always go backwards  there's no such thing as maintenance   it's either you're going up or down  but once you look at the bigger picture   so if the guy is over here and not doing  much work you have to convince him yo do this   then for the ladies listening to this that's a  sign of a loser where you have to spark this guy's   ambition on his own so he should be sparking  it on himself is that women already know that   women don't need to be taught how to pick men they  seem to have a very intuitive understanding of it   since childhood they tend to know these things  already it is men who need to be taught because   men tend to be romantic and stupid but  women are always smart in these matters   in fact this might be the only topic where women  are purely logical and men are purely emotional whoa never heard that before now that i think  about it why do you think that is do you think   it's for survival reasons yes i think it's  evolutionary and have you ever heard a man say   that i would not be interested in sarah because  sarah lacks the income potential that i'm looking   the what potential the income potential the  earning potential no i never heard that before   but you will often hear women say things like that  like this man doesn't make enough money so i can't   be with them whereas it's not a consideration  for men at all women are very logical about   whom they choose to fall in love with and once  they fall in love then it's a different thing but   whom they let themselves fall for they are very  opportunistic about it they're very logical   so if um if you take an incel why isn't inside  unattractive to a woman because he's a loser   like she already knows that he's going nowhere  in life so i should not go with him but women   who are complete losers just like women who  would be exactly like that in cell total losers   will still be able to find men because men don't  think that way they're stupider in these matters and do you think it's because evolutionary   this is something that was programmed i think  women have definitely had this programming because   historically a woman's entire life depend  on this choice so if she picked a great guy   her life would be great she would have a  lot of comforts she would have access to   a lot of resources and her children would  be healthier assuming the meal was fitter   and if she picked a crappy guy then she screwed so  women have a very strong evolutionary knowledge in   their dna that tells them which men to go for  and you will always notice that women always   pick a guy better than them like if a guy makes  100k and she would only make it thirty thousand   forty thousand dollars because she will  only go for a guy who is better than her i wrote a tweet a couple of weeks back where i  said that men are very direct so whenever you're   communicating with them factor in words above  anything else and women communicate in a very   indirect way so when you're communicating  with them be very aware of body language   and i came to realize that women are very capable  of picking up social cues in a subconscious sort   of way where i'll give you an example last year i  was working with this couple where for a while i   would work with the guy the husband and then  right afterwards i would work with the wife   one was starting to launch a tick tock account and  he wanted some help on presenting his ideas and   the wife was launching an instagram account where  she's a chef i forgot what happened one day but i   was feeling extremely sick but i didn't want to  cancel the appointments so i had the appointment   with the guy first and you know we're talking he's  hearing the words everything is going well and   then afterwards right after by the way i had the  meeting with a wife and as soon as i'm speaking   the first 10 seconds she's like armani what's  wrong i was like what do you mean what's wrong   it's like something about your facial expressions  just seemed different today are you feeling okay   i was like what the heck how did she notice  that it's it's i was using the same words and   everything but it was just second nature that  she noticed something like that so i just found   it very strange like since starting armani  talks how i talk about communication skills   i see how differently guys and girls communicate  there's a very good book on this it's called the   female brain and the author's name is lolin  b something i don't remember her name and the   book says that women have historically been the  dependent sex that is they have always dependent   on men for survival and they have also been the  sex that is responsible for caring for children   so historically women have evolved to understand  body language and social signals much better   because it helps them gain power and control  and it also helps them take care of babies so   for example if she notices her man is angry and  she's able to behave in a way that calms him down   her life would be much better than if she did not  notice it and if she notices when her man is happy   and she behaves in a way that gets him to give  her gifts her life would be better if the if she   her life would be better than if she was not  noticing these things so they have evolved   to pay a lot of attention to social cues  emotions and even unconscious ones so if   you take a woman she has to take care of a child  so she has to be able to read the child's emotions   and its tiny facial expressions to know if the  child is feeling okay bad if it's hungry if we   want to take a [ __ ] or whatever other things  so this is something women have evolved over   thousands of years for like they have a far better  understanding of social cues than the average male   but that is not to say that women are aware of it   this is one of those unconscious things that  women are good at but they are they don't have   technical understanding of it in the sense  that they are they have a natural talent   but they are using it so innately that they  have no understanding of how they are doing it it's someone that's naturally  very very good at something   and they don't understand how gifted that  is because it's always been natural for them   yes but it also opens them up to a lot  of manipulation and this is why women   are very easily manipulated especially by all  these social media patriarchy and propaganda it plays into the fact that women since they are  so emotional like they understand emotions so well   they're also more in tune with their own emotions  and when you change these emotions in her   her whole perception of reality changes so in in  the example you gave earlier there was this woman   who wasn't on good terms with her  father but someone didn't change   the emotions associated with all of her  memories and it went from happy memories to   memories of somehow being oppressed by her  father because of patriarchy or whatever   and that essentially changed her reality which  is something that would not happen in men   but it would happen in women all the time  yes i ended up also writing a tweet that   went pretty viral and normally when a viral  tweet happens people attack you for it you   know there's always that sector of people that  disagree with it but this was a tweet that most   people just agreed with i said that men measure  maturity by the ability to control emotions women   measure maturity as the ability to express  emotions so if we're seeing a guy over here   you know throwing a hissy fit getting mad easily  manipulated just as men we're going to lose a lot   of respect for this person so you know that's why  when a guy's just like getting brainwashed left   and right this isn't a guy that's capable of being  taken seriously by his peers especially in the   male sex while with women they view the  ability to express emotions in a very   high level where i believe you know if you're  trying to be a good person and a well-rounded   person as a whole you should be able to do a  little bit of both you should be able to control   your emotions and in certain scenarios you should  be able to express your emotions accordingly   in a negotiation for example if you feel like  you're being given the short end of the stick   you don't want to just be shifting your body  around trying to show that you're agitated you   want to be able to articulate those feelings in  a way where you're not rubbing the other guy the   wrong way and not creating an enemy for no reason  so i believe it's a little bit of doing both what   do you think do you think maturity should be  measured by controlling emotions expressing   emotions or a little bit of both i would say  knowing how to express emotions is a part of   being able to control them because only if you  can control something you can express it clearly   like a guy having a hissy fit  is essentially incapable of   expressing his dissatisfaction  in a more reasonable way so i think that it's really the same thing with  women women don't so women have this ideal for   men that men should have control over their  emotions and men should you know be masculine   but they don't hold this ideal on themselves  that is they don't care that whether they are   rational or not they can just do whatever they  want and which is fair you know they're women   but i'm not sure what you mean by women prize  themselves or women think highly of being able   to express emotions so let me just be clear  real quick when i say that men are valuing   controlling emotions and women are valuing  expressing emotions i'm talking about respective   to their own sex so i'm not saying that men want  women to control their emotions in terms of a   subconscious state and women want men to express  their emotions in a subconscious state now let   me explain what i mean by this so a couple of  months back there was this tweet that ended up   going very viral and i thought it was a comical  tweet but showed a lot about psychology basically   there was a woman who was saying you know i  really hate it whenever i'm sharing my problems   to my husband and he's over here trying to solve  the problem asap like can you just let me vent   and people were laughing non-stop in the tweet  while a lot of guys were like what's wrong   and the women were like i hate when men do that  and this just showed how different that men and   women view the problems where for the men on  instinct they just want to solve the problem   immediately but for the woman she just wants to  use this as an opportunity to express her emotions   so a lot of the times when women are bringing  up problems they don't actually want you to   solve it they just want you to let them vent  and express themselves so that's pretty much   yes yeah so that's what i was pretty much  meaning where this is the type of standard   and type of communication tactics that they have  with their own sex what are your thoughts on that   the book i mentioned earlier the female brain it  had a pretty good explanation to why women are   like this and i used to be pretty perplexed about  this as well like you know if she has a problem   and i'm solving it why is she getting annoyed by  this getting a solution and i i would think that   women are very vain in the sense that she just  wants to talk about her problem just to feel heard   so in the book the female brain i learned  that well see there's a portion of the brain   called the amygdala and that is a portion of  the brain that is used to process emotions   and the way things work is that when you  have input they first go to the amygdala and   then they go to the prefrontal cortex where  they are processed for solutions the prefrontal   cortex is the execution portion of your brain  like it helps you think and make decisions   so what happens for men is that the wiring between   the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex is  in such a way that data moves very fast from   the emotional part of the brain to the  logical part of the brain so men don't tend to   be as emotional and they just want to  solve the problem on the other hand with   women the wiring is such that things tend  to stay in the amiga a little bit longer   and then go to the prefrontal cortex so things  are more emotional for her for a longer time   and only then she wants to guarantee  how she can actually solve her problem   so that is the only so to speak uh  biological explanation that i've   seen for this phenomenon anywhere and it's a  pretty good book i would recommend buying it   it's a book by a female uh the female brain  the female brain we should include it in   the description box let me find the author's  name because there's probably more books like   this just she also wrote a book called the male  brain but that book is not as good as this one   it's good to be able to notice a lot of these  concepts not only on a psychology realm but also   explaining it with biology as well so the  name of the author is luanne byzantine md   okay i'll include that in the description box   yeah it's pretty interesting so i think  a lot of the personality things that   men and women have differently are simply  because of different biologies that have   become divergent because of a long period of  evolution and basically differences in how   men and women are in the sense that  if since women are physically vegan   they it wouldn't be ideal in a society to send  them to the military because they are weaker and   they would die and men are physically stronger  so it would be ideal to send them for war and if your purpose has been to fight  and die for a long long long time   you would be wired to not linger on emotions  because if you start lingering on emotions   in an important situation like a war or some  kind of fight with some animal you will die   but when you are protected from  things like these you have more luxury   especially when your role in society has  been to care for men depend on men and   care for children then you would on the other  hand be biologically incentivized to develop   the parts of the brain that help you  understand process emotions and social cues to give you an analogy there have been  some studies that show that gay men   tend to have brain structures similar to  women's and they tend to respond to hormones   that make so as men we emit some  hormones that essentially turn   women on and these gay men will get turned  on by those hormones as well and it kind of   i'm not i'm not this is not a confirmed theory or  anything but i think that is why gay people are   known for having good taste in fashion and  because women have good taste in fashion right interesting that's actually something  that now that you bring it up i do notice   a lot of the gay men that i know are always  on point with their outfits and they'll let   you know when you're not on point but  they'll deliver it in a way where it   sounds like they're joking but they're giving  you a proper constructive criticism as well it's a very interesting topic to guarantee the  whole biology aspect of why we are the way we are   yeah i mean i'm gonna link that book  female brain in the description box   it is extremely important because nowadays with  a lot of these social norms that are emerging   it's very easy to just get away from a lot of the  elements that are core to us where we can mask it   for a while but there are certain differences  between both genders and we're trying to just   make everything the same then it may work in the  beginning stages but over time i mean the mask is   going to fall off and certain things which are at  the root you cannot change so i say that you learn   social norms through just reading a bunch of  stuff but you learn human nature through pain so   certain things are just nature i mean you can't  change it you got to learn how to work with it   agreed i think a big problem nowadays is that our  lives are too comfortable in the sense that we   we have no reason to go after truth and improve  to draw an analogy let's say that women are gold   and men are aren't and that is a very good analogy  because gold is inherently valuable but iron has   to become valuable like by becoming a sword or  whatever okay so that's how things are right an   18 year old girl is like the most valuable thing  in the world but an 18 year old guy is a scrap   like no one cares about an 18 year old guy he  has he doesn't have any money he knows nothing so   his worth is very low so i i would say that  saying men are iron and women are gold is a   very relevant analogy to the real world now what  happens at a time of war or in a time of crisis   iron is more valuable than gold and juve in  a time of peace what's happening right now is   that people are saying iron gold are the same so  they're making they're trying to make swords out   of the gold and it's just not working because  gold is not a good metal to make weapons out of   and eventually when there is a crisis situation  people will find out real quickly that   trying to make weapons out of  all the gold was a terrible idea   because they're going to get  slaughtered and this this is   this tends to happen in militaries all the  time actually so when there is a time of war   initially there are a lot of deaths and a  lot of military generals are fired or killed   and that is because when there is a time of peace  it is not the most effective general set rise the   ranks but the ones who are good at bureaucracy and  only in the time of conflict should you find out   whether someone is actually  capable of doing that job or not so we are at a time where we don't we're not  actually testing things because we just don't   have any incentive to yes i i released a video  yesterday called negative visualization and the   power of it where this type of visualization is  just embracing the worst case scenario where a   lot of ceos nowadays are actually encouraging  negative thinking in their culture just because   it helps them look around the corner if a  company is always super optimistic and it's like   no no nothing can go wrong then you're not aware  of the small things which can go wrong which is   just the nature of any complex system things  will go wrong so be aware of that so a lot of   yeah so a lot of ceos are working with  screenwriters surprisingly to get people thinking   in a different way because all a story is that  the screenwriters are writing is creating a bunch   of characters doing some negative visualization  of the worst case scenarios and actually making   those worst case scenarios happen that's all the  story is so it's a very strange little partnership   that ceos and screenwriters are having that's one  world now in another world let's say the people   listening to this are from the technical space  well as engineers there's a thing called stress   testing a system where at times you encourage  people to try to hack into the system to see   if they can do it because if they can do it what  makes you think that a cyber security attack isn't   impending in the near future so stress testing  is extremely important but it's not happening too   much because things are getting too comfortable  people think that oh well nope there's no reason   to stress test because everything has always been  like this and everything will always be like this you do any kind of that stress testing for life  math money to help you keep on evolving like do   you envision huh what if this goes wrong what  if this goes wrong which i think before you even   answer just from observing some of your moves it  always seems like you're two steps ahead where   a guy a traditional guy with 200 000 followers  on twitter may rest on their laurels and be like   all right well this is it but for you i see you  making micro moves where you got an instagram   channel up a facebook uh you're growing your email  list you have you're expanding your presence on   youtube with doing these podcast episodes so it  seems like you're always looking around the corner   am i making that assumption or is there some truth  behind that i haven't well used the term stress   test before but i've also been acutely aware of  the fact that a large part of life math money is   centered around twitter and twitter is a very  censorship heavy platform especially recently   and unconsciously or consciously i have been  trying to diversify i'm putting different   tags in different baskets now with all these other  social media handles just in case of a twitter ban so it isn't a more conscious stress  test effort so to say like you mentioned   but it's more of a simple diversification thing  because there have been a lot of people who get   banned from twitter for no apparent reason outside  of saying something that triggered somebody   and there's no there's no telling when  that might happen to you like you might   say something that sounds completely  reasonable and innocent to you   but would i might still ban you for it so  it's a it's essentially a game of chance   mm-hmm and would you say the email list has been  the core of the live map money business nowadays   or not really now it's the twitter and the blog  but everything else has been growing the thing   with email lists is that email lists don't  grow organically in fact they tend to shrink   organically in the sense that if you  have no outside source to get email lists   email subscriptions it won't grow no matter how  good your emails are so if you have 20 000 email   people on your email list and you're sending out  really good emails it will not suddenly become 21   000 because email is not a platform that people  people are not going to forward your email to 30   other people to see so they cannot subscribe  but people will simply retweet your stuff   or share your youtube video so  because email is not social it is not   a good primary source of growth it is something  that you can take users of other platforms for well would you say email is more for growth or  more for deepening pre-existing relationships   i would say it's for deepening pre-existing  relationships and basically monetizing a little   bit right because that's what i predominantly use  the emails for where these youtube videos blogs   podcasts uh they're sort of like the flyers now  let's go back to that example i know you got it   from someone else but i really liked that example  where you treat the content sort of like the   flyers and the website sort of like the actual  restaurant so now your content has some intent   that you're trying to get them to your website  i just like to finish it off with the email list   because this is the traffic that i own rather than  you know if someone stumbles on this youtube video   great but then they could just find another  video and i may never see them again   while with an email list is something that for  the armani talks brand at least i've placed a lot   of importance on that just because of the back  end work i see where you're coming from though   it's important to decentralize and where you were  talking about twitter i don't know if you've been   noticing but i've been seeing a lot of people  complaining about more restrictions on instagram   i don't really use instagram like that  but have you noticed something like that   i don't know that much about instagram because  essentially the way i use instagram is that   i use a software that screenshots my tweet  and automatically posts it to ig so i don't   interact with the content or the people there at  all it's just impossible for me because i just   don't have the time to actually sit and interact  with so many different platforms so i just use   twitter primarily and i have software which  handles instagram reddit facebook and everything   else for me but i will say that one of my  accounts got a hate speech strike for saying that   men are superior to women or something  like that i think it was like men are   women are inferior to men because men are  stronger and more emotionally resilient   and dad got a hate sweet strike so  i think women instagram has a very   wide definition of hate speech and i did an  article on this uh i wrote an article on what is   hate speech according to instagram and even saying  that i am homophobic is hate speech essentially   almost anything is hate speech on instagram  and facebook it's a very restrictive platform yeah and with a lot of different people's  content it could be taken in different ways where   i've noticed that with instagram more fitness  accounts are blown up there i mean i haven't even   really thought about using instagram too  much with armani talks so what do you do   pretty much you you get your tweets and expand  it onto a different platform i just mirror them   so this is what the software will do is it'll  take a screenshot of the tweet and it'll post   the exact screenshot to instagram and that's it  gotcha and is it attracting a different audience   i i don't know for sure because  i haven't already monitored it right it's just something i set up once just for  diversification but i really don't have the time   to actively manage all the other social media  profiles i have two businesses to run plus i'm   studying computer science and i have to find  time to lift go out and have a social life   so it's impossible for me to read and interact  with people on all platforms i just limit myself   to twitter and i let software take care of the  rest it's a very unique different way to do   business where i had this public speaking coach  two years ago and he found out that i at that   time i believe i had ten thousand followers on  twitter and he was like my goodness uh you have 10   000 followers and it just was not computing for  his brain and because he was on the older side   where when he was initially starting his business  numbers like 10 000 for let's say just consulting   was you know you could work your way up to it  but a guy in his 20s having that kind of numbers   was very different and this public speaking coach  was amazing as we started to work more together   i started to notice just a very difference  in philosophies where he saw youtube but   he thought of it just as an entertainment  tool he never saw it as a tool in itself   so he would be like yeah yeah i do youtube every  now and then but i like to host in-person meetings   which is great don't get me wrong but once the  pandemic hit the in-person meetings were now in   the back burner and now he was hitting me up and  he's like hey man what is this youtube thing you   got going on again you're saying that it brings  in traffic after you're done recording the videos   where for us harsh after we're done recording  this video it's going to keep on pulling in   more and more people daily over time just  little pools of people that discovered this   video later on once we're done recording so  once this public speaking coach found out that   he's basically detachin

2021-08-23

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