hey everybody this is eleni and marcus and this is episode two of extraordinary conversations with ordinary people and um we were just talking just before we started that the way that we came up with that topic was actually marcus came up with you know extraordinary conversations and i thought of by ordinary people because what we are talking about is extraordinary in the sense that you know a great percentage of the population don't talk about our type of topics but this is what we live and breathe totally but we're just ordinary people having this experience on planet earth and that's why we've we've created this title and we're going to be showing up every single week at the same time most of the time and it's completely unscripted and it's all it's all about what's coming up for us from in terms of challenges insights and what's going on at the moment yeah that's the conversation so what's what's going on with you marcus i was going to actually ask you this week what's going on with you okay something in your world okay i had an interesting um weekend of emotions because my son my adult son he's 28 years old he came up on um wednesday morning and i was i can't tell you how excited so i've moved to adelaide for those of you who don't know a different state it's um it's about 50 minutes with the plane and i was just really excited for him to see where i'm living and the environment and i i was like so excited like this and we had the most amazing time and when it was time to you know take him to the airport um when he left i just felt the most like deepest saddest time i really really struggled i really went down i went all the way down and it's interesting because since i've moved to adelaide every time i've said goodbye to peter i've not had that deep emotional downhill because we've said goodbye you know our houses it could be my house or his house but i've taken myself to the airport whereas this time it was at the airport and there's something about airports that you know it just feels like it's just harsh and yet logically logically i'm going to see him in two weeks i'm going to melbourne into the weeks so the thing is about emotions and i was talking to christian about this is that there's no logic so we're trying sometimes make it logical by saying oh but i'm going to see him in two weeks that doesn't make me feel better i actually have to just feel it and as i was talking to christian and feeling how sad i felt straight away i went back to why it's a trigger for me and why it's a trigger for me is because i separated from peter's dad when peter was only five years old and we had to share custody so there was so there was a couple of days every every week that um i didn't get to see him and this was absolutely one of the biggest traumas that i've ever been through because i was that mother that always was like i've only got one son and i was like all over him and and it really took me back to that when i was separated from him right um you might think only a couple of days a week but it was traumatic like not seeing him for two days so i would drop him off at school wednesday morning and then i wouldn't pick him up till 6 pm saturday so i had him saturday night through to tuesday night every week and and it was really a really difficult and challenging period and just taking him to the airport even though he's 28 years old that separation went straight to my heart could this then be uh like uh you know emotions that you haven't cleared from back in those days like is it an echo of that right because again like you said logically it didn't make sense right because you're seeing him in a few days and it's like shut the airport right you've done it before it's not the first time you've taken him to the airport or he's taken you or you've gone off but could it be that it you know these things sometimes bring up old emotions that weren't cleared at the time or i don't know and i think so marcus and the thing is it's that we think we sometimes think it's all resolved but it's yeah totally but there are so many layers and so many fragments and so when we are having an illogical response we really need to honor ourselves because right now i've passed through that time and and i'm feeling i'm feeling fine now but it was really deep like it was like it felt like a depressed state and i just had to honor it not try and justify it not ignore it not distract myself by doing other things but just sit in it just really i think it's also the same in sometimes emotions can come up and you don't know why like i had that experience last week where i had a day or there was a moment you know like an hour where i just felt really like crying but i couldn't tell you why i wasn't sad nothing had happened you know what i mean there was nothing obvious there that would cause it but but i think the the most important part about that is that you you honor it and you allow it to move through you because you don't know where it's coming from you know i mean you sort of have a an awareness of where it potentially comes from right because you joined the dots of oh wow back then and back here now but sometimes you can feel it and you don't know where it comes from totally and i think then you try and push it away and go well this is stu i'm being silly do you want to mean like this is ridiculous as opposed to going okay i'm just going to feel into it doesn't matter where it comes from doesn't matter what it's about i'm just going to allow it to process itself so that it doesn't get caught somewhere or it doesn't sure i mean i don't have to deal with it more later down the track whatever this is though yeah but i feel that i totally agree with what you said i feel that the reason it passed through like within 24 hours i had a good 24 hours where i was in this state was that i didn't ignore it i didn't get distracted from it like i really just allowed myself to feel it but also by talking about it with christian then then i realized as to what the trigger was so i wouldn't have known by my you know if i just was think sitting there sort of trying to work it out but it was just because i was like saying to question i'm feeling so sad and then it was like it's probably because yeah yeah so it's that's that's how it ended up being that i had that conversation and that's why the trigger came up but with you when you felt that sadness did you also sit into it i i didn't i didn't sort of apply i didn't sort of go into it to try and work out where it came from i just went okay something's here so i'm just going to process it and i'm not going to try and desperately work out you know what it is and why it's here and just going to pro let it do its thing and continue on yeah so yeah exactly and that's what we need to do is actually honor it instead of instead of putting logic in the way yeah yeah well i think so often we're taught that we've got to fix it like you've got you know something broken because you're sad right you're broken something's wrong something's when it's not necessarily there's something wrong it just could be that you're feeling emotional about you know it's an emotion it emotions energy emotion it's just meant to move through you that's what it's designed to do it's just clear you know anything that yeah may get dark and cause you know whatever so i think it's important just to remember it's just stuff that needs to move through you and we don't actually have to necessarily join all the dots and fix it and resolve it necessarily no and maybe we just let it resolve itself at some point maybe if we just do i mean just not desperately try to fix that resolve it stop it it'll sort itself out the awareness will appear when it's time and um you know things will just i don't know sort itself out in a way yeah and as therapists and healers you know we often get into the whole paradigm of we've got to help our clients heal this trauma and maybe what needs to happen is they just need to honor and feel it so that it can pass through yeah yeah yeah yeah absolutely i think that's that's important that's important we don't have to fix everything sometimes we just have to let it fix itself resolve itself not even fix just resolve itself but yeah i think you're right as therapists are sort of yeah the other paradigms you know we're trying to fix things yeah absolutely just you know i think i learned that too when i was working with clients that you know when they start to cry you just let them process it you know and don't try and make it more complex or necessarily have to work it out all the time okay just let it be you know just move through it it's okay you know and i think the old paradigm for boys in particular the old world boy thing which is you know stop crying put yourself together you know that's that's probably one i suffer from a bit or have had in the past because i was sort of from that era just at the end of that era i think you know whereas when we've had kids we probably haven't been like that we've probably allowed them just to you know i remember you know with my kids when they started trying to go yeah cry that's it yeah go for it just let it out and in the end in a very short period of time they start laughing it's like whatever was causing the tears they ended up sort of start laughing so it's kind of funny how that happens so what do you think is going on at the moment you know we're talking about emotions and it feels like it's at the moment on the planet like it's it's kind of a funny kind of in-between stage how are you feeling into it at the moment marcus yeah i mean there's lots of there's lots of stuff happening on the planet at the moment and uh really important i think to uh keep your focus you know in the right space like it's really easy to get caught in all sorts of things that are going on which i don't think is any different to any other time it's just that this stuff looks like it's amplified it looks bigger and more you know bigger than what it has been in the past but i think it has been there in the past we just haven't really noticed that we're a lot more aware now we're a lot more conscious than we've ever been so so therefore these things look you know much bigger than they probably are really um so they're for that that's causing more emotions maybe more energy that has to be moved through us uh and uh but you know like any time the key is to just feel into uh the more positive space you know hope and possibility and infinite potential and you know just really fitting in those spaces and i think if anything that's part of what it's trying to teach us you know we are the creators of reality so if we're not happy with the reality then we need to recreate it but we can't recreate it from the thing that caused it so we can't create it from fear or doubt or hesitation or worry or any of that sort of stuff we can only create it from the energy we want to we want it you know we want to see in the planet yeah it's interesting that at the moment i'm feeling like um anything that doesn't completely resonate i can't actually so in the past if i you know i would i would do lives every day in my groups no matter what no matter what no matter push through push through push through push through but now it's like no i don't want to do it yeah yeah yeah and and like and i don't want to do it and it's almost like it's too hard to do something i don't want to do yeah yeah it's that energy of if something is really exciting for me i would do it yeah and i would do it and i'll be super super super excited to do it but if i don't want to do it i am not going to um push through with it like i've never had that energy before the energy of no let's just go with the flow go with the flow this moment i'm not i don't want to do a live so i'm not going to do it so and really trusting that everything will be fine regardless i don't have to do that live to get that result to get that outcome to get that following you know it's like no that's not what i want to do this moment and it's really surrendering to the moment what is this moment giving us yes i think that's right i think we've got to yeah we don't we've got to learn to be in more flow well that's the word i use flow which is you know you go with what feels right at the time with the energetics of the moment as opposed to what we think we have to do oh i should do a live i have to do a live i've got to do a lot you know but rather being inspired to do it ignited from another place and i think i think that's really important right now you know because the other way is sort of forced and pushed and coerced and you know like he said you can do it right and you would present beautifully either way but but the energy is way better when you're in the space of really wanting to do it versus having to do it well actually i won't do it i just i know you might feel it in the past you have in the past we've all done it right and it's still come across great yeah absolutely yeah the energy is way better when you when you feel inspired to when you're really present with it as opposed to oh oh god i've got to do it i have to do it i you know and it's really important especially when you're a small business owner like us or in the wellness industry or whatever you know there are things we're sort of told or have bought into that you know we have to do certain things you know you've got to get out with your group and you've got to you know do lots of messaging and you've got to do this and you've got to do that to build things and to make things work and to make money and but i don't know whether any of those are real anymore i think they're really old paradigms you know and i think the sooner we can all just sort of step past that and into a more natural flow sort of state a more natural state of being where things just happen naturally and in rhythm right and then think uh you know the sooner we embrace that the better yeah yeah that that that's how i feel is that it really there really has to be this feeling of excitement and if there's not this feeling of excitement not just with work but yes as well like catching up with someone or meeting someone or anything that i'm doing like if it's not actually getting me really excited i don't want to do it that's how it's feeling at the moment it's feeling like i really just have to surrender to whatever this moment is going to give me yeah and when we did our last episode marcus one of the comments we got was can we give more examples about this this surrender this deep surrender into the moment what would you like to say about that uh examples of surrendering into the moment like in really being present as opposed to techniques in terms of being present into the moment as opposed to thinking about the last moment or the next moment yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah look i think uh well you know we know it's important practically you know the way i look at it from a practical point of view is is sort of from a create creation sort of viewpoint in that you know our thoughts and feelings and everything that's that's going on is creating the next moment and that we are just these beautiful you know creation machines that manifest materialize you know create uh sort of reality and so my focus with anything is you know firstly just drop in feel the energy you know that's a big one to help me to get presents is to feel energy energy around me in me you know whatever just feel into the energy and then give focus to what do i want to create in the next moment you know one of the messages that came through a little while back was about the next moment and actually the next moment is the most important moment right as in christine yeah it was really interesting take on it as in um uh what what is it what is it that you want to create in the next moment right so so as you're in the present moment it's like okay what the creation i want to step into because we're constantly stepping into the next moment which then becomes what you've created in this which is becomes the manifest of reality in the now moment right so so you can focus on the now moment which is great and i think that's important but after you've sat in the now moment the next thing to focus on is okay what do i want to create in the next moment what does my now moment wish to create in the next moment i don't hope i'm not being confusing with this but it's kind of an interesting paradigm it's interesting because when you're saying what am i going to create the next moment it might be i want to create peace and harmony in the next moment we don't mean a product or a no no no no no no it's that you know it's not it's not that bigger sort of or bigger or smaller depending on which way you want to look at it um it's just actually almost like you said the feeling or the energy of the next moment right and so and so when we're focusing on the now moment so when we're in that beautiful p space where we're sitting we are allowing the next moment just to unfold okay the good and the bad about that is that moment's going to unfold potentially based on maybe past moments because if we're not actively creating the next moment then the next moment being actively sort of created for us so there's this sort of i don't know it's this weird conundrum between okay i need to be in the now and there's lots of books and stuff and you know people have talked about being in the now but then this new concept of okay in the now being energetically connected to what am i creating in the next moment what do i wish to see materialize in my my environment in the next moment right and it could be peace right it could be the continued peace it could be so if you go into the now moment and go ah found peace great so what i want to create in the next moment is is that again peace great what i want to create in the next moment peace great so so we have this creation experience creation experience creation experience and and this is sort of part of the the positive evolutionary flow because one of the things that happens in the universe is evolution it's it's one of those things that you can't get away from things will evolve it's it's it's the same as things will change right there's one thing we can be sure of that is everything will change or things will change right because they're constantly changing um and so this process is about how do i become a part of that evolution and and influence it in the most beautiful positive way i can by saying the next moment now i'm not going about five moments down the track this is where when we go oh well i'm going to create a program i'm going to share with the world and you know i'm going to do a live event that's 500 moments down the track right which we know logically from a physical point of view we need to do that i'm doing business and well as i'm saying it i'm going do we really need to do that you know what i mean like i'm having that conundrum as i'm saying it only because it's like yeah exactly no you don't you just create the next thing you do no anyway the old construct still is that we you know set a date for an event and we work towards the event so we're not talking about that as in we're just talking about this next moment and the next moment is so close to the now moment like they're almost into you know they're just so close it's the very next moment it's not the next hour it's not the next 10 minutes it's the very next moment because there are millions and millions of moments that make you that are in any one day it's the very next one it's an interesting perspective because we're always talking about being present in this moment yeah but before you know it by the time that this decision to be present we're already in the next moment exactly so just having a thought of what do i want to create in that next moment is an interesting sort of shift or add-on to that it's not a shift it's just an adjunct to it um and then we start to be co-creators with the universe in a way which we are anyway we're already co-creators of the universe this is just giving some intention to it some focus to it and how we want it to start unfolding for us um and it's just another one of those little conundrums like the now moment is for us you know it's a bit of a conundrum right and then the next moment is a bit that way as well but i think it's um yeah it's just another step in that materialization and manifestation type journey but again the most of the manifestation conversation is projected in many moments ahead you know put the picture on the wall and meditate on it and bring it into your body and but if we just focused on the next moment not the 50th moment down the track those things would materialize themselves yeah right yeah because we're actually manifesting the experience not the thing right but so if if we decided we want to materialize a new bike or a new car or a new house or a new it's actually not the house or the car or the bike we're trying to manifest we're actually trying to manifest the experience that that thing made a feeling of what that thing may give us right harmony of what it may give us so if we're manifesting that in the next moment right then that thing has to come anyway now it might not come as a red bike or a you know purple car or a 25 bedroom house right it may appear as something else but it will still appear and you'll still get the same feeling because that's the feeling you wanted to create so in this moment rather than sit there going i need i want a new car and there's obviously practical things right if your car's broken you need a new car of course but but but in in that the next moment paradigm it's like okay i do want a new car or i want a new house okay bring it back to the next moment which is what is the feeling emotion experience i want to cultivate which is actually which i think is what the house will give me yeah right then whatever needs to appear will naturally appear yeah as long as we're not attached to the house that's correct we're gonna let go of that because it might appear some other way but you'll still get that feeling you're wanting to get yes that's the that's the fun part about this right so because i think what we try to do is we try to materialize the experience based on what we think will give us the experience as opposed to what will really give us the experience you know what i mean and then then what happens is we buy the house or the car and we sit in the car and go ah it's not quite it like it's close no i feel critical but this is the issue then we go for the next thing oh well now i need a boat oh now i need this and now i need that and it's like wow what if we had done the experience in the next moment rather than the object in many moments time how would that change what materializes in our life yeah the answer to that question is everything totally that's the answer to that question so i think it's kind of an interesting spin on it i know that when i focused on having you know peace as my number one feeling that i wanted to experience everything changed everything changed and the interesting thing is i did end up getting the material things but i knew that if i didn't it didn't matter it didn't matter and if it didn't turn up exactly the way you hoped it would turn up it didn't matter it doesn't matter no it does not matter that's the fun thing about this you know that that's the and we are trying to you know this is an evolutionary process we're on it's a it's a journey from one dimension of reality to another you know it's a journey of changing our vibration or frequency or resonance whatever word you want to use and so therefore we have to approach things differently from a mind point of view you know we can't process things the same way we have been we just can't it's just not going to work no so it's interesting that you know when we said it doesn't matter um it took me two so last week with christian and peter we watched a movie called everything everywhere all at once and it was about a multiverse and basically it was a very long movie yeah okay and it was such a long movie with this one point nothing matters [Laughter] yeah all the things that we think matter doesn't matter and they did this two and a half hour movie yeah to make that point and i just it's just like it doesn't we think it does we really think it does but it doesn't nothing matters you know at the end of the days you know the things that we want to experience we can experience it doesn't have to be that way no like you said that property that house that car that job that way i was going to say in a lot of cases that actually stops things turning up because we've framed it so rock solid right so we've actually said to the universe if it doesn't show up this way i don't want it to show up so of course the universe goes well it's actually meant to show up in a triangle not a square and you've told me that if it doesn't show up in a square you don't want to see it oh well we just won't give it to you i mean if that's how because the universe isn't that rigid solidness that we think it in no it's it's this beautiful flow this you know this wave of energy it's just lots of waves or light i mean you can look at it in either way lights just a wave as well um and so yeah it's quite fluid in in itself yeah yeah so don't be rigid otherwise you're not going to work you're not in tune with the universe you're not in that natural state so therefore things don't show up and i used to sort of see this happen especially when people were trying to attract their significant other you know yeah yeah yeah and and the rigidness the with which people have that imagination oh they've got to be tall blonde hair blue eyes muscly or not muscly they've got to have this they've got to have that and it's like the fun part about this is your soul mate or your twin flame or your ultimate partner if that's exists if that's real right often or more often than not won't shot the way you think they should show up like seriously because they're actually not meant to they're actually meant to help you change paradigms to shift belief systems right so of course they're not going to show up in the exact form you think they should because that's not going to challenge you that's just like oh yeah blue eyes blonde hair perfect yeah everything yeah exactly how is that going to help you expand it's not going to help you expand but they've come they're short brown eyed do you wanna make it and you're like well this doesn't make sense but i'm just so in love with them it's ridiculous right the love is so deep then because you go way beyond any impression or or idea of what they should look like you know and twin flames especially are like this twin flames are designed to rock paradigms and it's the hardest most enjoyable most amazing most difficult relationship you can have and actually romeo and juliet is the story of twin flame relationship that is a classic twin flame relationship right right why is that marcus because they come they came from two totally different sides of the river if you will right totally different the the families on both sides were against that relationship they didn't understand each other they hated each other they ward with each other you know not the two families war with each other but but what you'll find is that even the families will sort of question why are you with him or her this is not the normal person you would be with this is weird and strange but it doesn't just break down your paradigm it shifts the paradigm of the whole family this is what romeo and juliet did it totally shifted the paradigm for the whole community and the whole family this is the almost the responsibility of twin flame relationships is that's the job is actually breaking every paradigm down but starting with you first oh my god she he doesn't look like they should look or are meant to look or whatever the belief is and then it starts to thread through your family that's interesting what you've just said is really interesting is that because we know that you know with our relationships that they're there to help us expand and grow but i never for a moment thought that actually there's a there's a there's a bigger role that they play and that's every single family member is watching this and their own paradigms are shifting their own stories their own limiting beliefs of of what they thought is the way it needs to be get shifted that definitely happened with me totally with my relationships and so yeah it completely blew them apart my family like completely blew them apart in terms of you know what they thought that expectation expectation you know and that you know from my first husband's second husband and third partner i i definitely did that for my family which yeah you know combusted their whole belief system about you know how it should be and and to some degree it's the only reason why so many of us are here on the planet because we're here to help each other to grow and this is this is the key with any relationship you have whether it's a significant relationship or just a friend or colleague or whatever is that we come together to support each other to grow when that uh when that can not condition but when that journey is finished it's finished right when you actually stop each other from growing the relationship's done yeah right and and and we have this construct of marriage and relationship should be forever right and it's just not true maybe they are maybe they're not but if you stop if you're not helping each other to grow then then the relationship's done right not because they won't take the rubbish banana they don't do the dishes or they don't do this or that or that's all you know silly stuff right it's actually the one thing you have to check into is are we helping each other to grow now the big issue with that is often when people get challenged and the relationship get tough people bail out they bow out at the wrong moment because actually the toughness is about helping each other to grow yeah that's the opportunity that's right opportunity you don't grow when the sun's out and the flowers are smooth you grow when there's storms right right and so and so the problem for people that i saw for years counseling like as you have counseling and doing therapy with couples is that people bail out at the moment that they're getting the most amount of growth right yeah so so therefore when when the growth is finished and the relationship is now done as in the the growth opportunity of part of the relationship is done often the separation is a harmonious separation right because it's like well we just finished helping each other to grow so it's now time to move on to the next adventure of growth but most most people finish relationships in the middle of the fight he was just too difficult to deal with and too difficult to live with that right now i get it if people do the wrong thing and they abusive and of course that's not positive right that's not acceptable right so i'm not talking about those types of conflicts right if there are well the thing is when you say it's not acceptable maybe maybe there is still room even in those situations for at the end of the day there's two souls there that are playing these two roles so maybe there is you know a lot of people say oh no i wouldn't stay with them if they cheated but maybe that's going to be the biggest love story of your life after that point because then you start to take then you start to really not take it you know them for granted and have a whole new chapter in your relationship yeah yeah without a doubt i suppose i was taking it to the nth degree of abusive relationships and those sort of things which obviously you don't stay in yeah they are negative growth situations yes um i think uh you know when conflicts come they can be the biggest growth opportunities you know absolutely and even if you don't stay with the person because it is goes that to that extreme there are still opportunities to learn and to you know work out okay what was the growth experience for me in that what was i there to learn you know again because relationship's about helping each other to evolve so on the same token though if one of the people in the relationship is not willing to grow and the other one is in my experience that's when you know they separate because one is sort of stuck and they're stuck and the other person cannot grow or cannot do anything it's it's a co-creation with a partner as well as the universe exactly exactly i mean yeah if if you're not growing it's so you know it's it's not going to work both want to want to want to yeah exactly you both got to want to to have that experience happen and sometimes that's not the case it's still a growth experience right regardless absolutely we've covered a few topics today and i think with some of these we can even go deeper next time um i think we're just warming up yeah we're just warming up with these conversations i think the whole twin flame thing is an interesting one and one that we can go deeper in maybe next time maybe not we'll see what happens well let's yeah let's see what happens yeah but guys if you're watching this and you're enjoying these conversations please subscribe to this channel and um yeah we'll see you we'll see you next time see you next time see you later excellent see you guys bye
2022-07-28