in the year 2000 The Ultimate Christmas Present premiered on Disney Channel and despite having a clearly modest budget it's still ranked by many Millennials as a modern holiday classic and in retrospect it's not hard to see why following a naughty 13 year old who steals Santa's weather machine to get out of school this movie presented a unique story that was also ahead of its time with a decidedly cynical perspective on how the internet age would impact our quality of life and an all too relevant allegory for runaway climate change The Ultimate Christmas Present feels smart yet it's still able to transport us back to a simpler time where happiness was just a little more effortless like it's that very last Christmas before the onset of childhood depression but don't go off your meds just yet because like most media from the early 2000s there are aspects of the movie that haven't followed us into adulthood quite as effectively as our mental illnesses with body character motivation some distractingly bad acting and a habit for putting women and girls into unadvisable situations it's time to unwrap The Ultimate Christmas Present in this hard candy holiday installment of clip breakdown [Music] hello television viewers my name is Nick thank you so much for joining me once again on my channel for another installment of clip breakdown this is the playlist where we dive into our favorite movies TV movies and other such content here on the web and we break them up into small giftable clips and decide if it's a new toy or a pair of socks this is truly one of the Disney Channel original movies that I Remember Loving the most growing up it gave me all of the Christmas Yuletide feelings and upon re-watching it's not bad but unfortunately like most things that I liked as a child not quite as good as I thought back then either but before we get into it make sure you give this video a big thumbs up if you want to see even more Disney Channel clip breakdowns but most importantly if you're new to my channel I would love to have you click that subscribe button right over here that way you never miss new videos from me I upload two new ones every week so turn on notifications and you'll always be the first to know when I've stolen an environmental weapon out of Santa Claus's trash can and I'm ready to threaten society which is exactly what our main character Ally intends to do in this film all because she what sucks at doing homework oh also I have merch and a patreon where you can access exclusive bonus episodes and virtual watch parties but anyway let me take you to the world of Hollywood as shot in Toronto Canada that means the movie starts with two or three clips of stock footage showing the Hollywood sign and Santa Monica Boulevard B4 seamlessly sliding us into the great North here we go [Music] [Applause] [Music] for a Suburban Street this seems unusually active for a weekday morning like it is fully just Thursday December 21st and people are taking to the streets like President Truman just declared the war is over why did those four adults take a whole day off just to drive recklessly in their Christmas convertible I hope you Scotch taped those illegal exterior decorations to your car real good or you're gonna cause a pile up three seconds after getting on the highway but that's just how the holidays are in Los Angeles dude no snow no school and no Street safety just one potted palm tree unrelated reggae music and roaming gangs of child actors running into traffic yes children don't look either way before crossing the street we've only got Johnny impromptu parade driving around with Garland our main character Ally is seen watching the news where a very bumbling and dull sounding meteorologist is rambling on about how the weather is going to be the same sunny and warm all week Ali his parents clearly seem very busy trying to juggle work and her little brother and her life but it's not quite as hectic as we've seen in other movies where they're doing this Trope of the busy family so Ali's best friend Sam crosses the street and Ally spills the tea on all the good news that's coming from her regarding her Crush Blake Sam is played by Brenda Song whose character is so one-dimensional in this movie that it almost seems like she has the same crush on Blake as Ali does just because she's not enough of an individual person to feel that way about someone different place party's at four o'clock on Christmas and I told him we'd be there a couple of hours early so we can help decorate that we can spend a couple hours with him before anyone else gets there what kind of 13 year old throws a party at 4 P.M on Christmas Day most of the kids in her class are going to be out of town visiting their grandparents not attending a singles mixer at Blake's house like desperate adults who want someone to kiss on New Year's Eve speaking of desperate of course Ally here was the first one to RSVP she said 4 P.M great we'll be there at two to help hang streamers in your parents computer room I'd be like no no you can just come at the time that I invited you I mean it don't show up early or you could ruin my older brother's surprise return from the military I mean the whole family already knows he's coming back but we agreed that surprise return sounds a lot better than dishonorable discharge for drunken Behavior anyway can't wait for you to meet him but we just need a couple hours to make sure he's still a happy drunk after all of that battle trauma you can tell that this movie was right on the Forefront of the digital age that's why you hear a dial-up modem in the background and the dad works on websites and computers a website that sells dog bones exactly yeah do you really think people want to buy dog bones over the Internet no they will when they learn we have over 100 varieties to choose from if you say so Dad because otherwise we dug up the pet cemetery and Grave robbed a hundred dog skeletons for no reason I'm just saying was there any market research done to ensure that there are people as obsessed with stolen animal bones as you are because if not all you have is one really specific domain name oh one thing you should know about this movie that I didn't realize as a kid is that for some reason about 90 of the dialogue is delivered by people talking on a cordless phone especially when it's coming from Ali's Lizzie McGuire mom or the dad who you can tell wants to try stand up sorry Dad and don't forget what time of year it is Santa might find out my flight's delayed oh honey I'm so sorry give me a chance to eat some delicious airport food I assume that's code for sucking dick in the bathroom at Chili's to go I'm sure he loves his wife but the sarcasm and Theatrical eye rolls let me know he might be the kind of dad who likes to make the Yuletide gay on his business trips you know what I mean and I'm not judging airport bathroom hookups are the only reason you see so many gay guys traveling on Instagram how else are you gonna make an Uber ride to the airport feel worth it but just remember to put in your order for chicken crispers beforehand that way it's ready to go in case they call your gate unexpectedly this holiday travel tip has been brought to you by Johnny Downlow bathroom stalls with the widest gaps and highest floor clearance in the industry a main element of this story will eventually be that the family is so busy they barely have time to spend together however we never see them do any of these busy things they're basically stuck in the house the whole time the only sign is that the mom is struggling to create their schedules for Christmas Even Christmas day which inadvertently just makes the holidays seem like it's not that big of a deal to them I'll be back tomorrow morning so tomorrow night we should definitely get together and discuss our schedules for Christmas day we'll be done by two right that's for my basketball tournament starts basketball tournament that is once again such a strange activity to have scheduled on a government holiday can someone call his coach to make sure the other kids weren't lying to him about the date because of how bad he is at running again this movie shows each of the Thompsons talk about Christmas like it's the most important day of the year and it's like okay then why did you schedule your mole biopsy for 11 A.M that day Mama You've been watching that thing grow irregularly all year long so unless it's affecting your ability to cook and bake I think you can reschedule until the 28th thank you if the movie were to be made today I don't think some of these gender roles would be done quite the same for example the dad works in technology well the mom is a caterer in the kitchen gossiping on the phone non-stop so anyway dad has to go on a business trip to San Francisco and as you can tell from all the people we saw outside they're really trying to push it that La doesn't get snow they don't have a white Christmas and that somehow makes it the most unique place on Earth but they act like it's the summer they're like wearing bathing suits and Tanning it's like that's still going to be 50 degrees in the morning sweetheart they also really want us to know that Ali here is naughty she's not exactly good with doing school work she loves to prank people but by modern standards she seems like a great kid however she has not started her English paper which is like a creative writing story and it's going to be due tomorrow five pages she's busy daydreaming when the teacher calls her out and asks what her paper is going to be about and in a scene that almost perfectly replicates the one from Big Fat Liar with Frankie Muniz Ali starts improvising the plot of this story that she hasn't written yet and talks herself into a corner because now she's gonna have to write that same story overnight to come up with a plan to get out of doing this paper at all costs can you guys still come to my Christmas party um yeah like I said we'll come over early so we can help decorate and like I said nobody asked you to do that in fact I wanted you to come after the party to handle the cleanup but you assumed I was inviting you as a guest and I kind of felt bad if you show up two hours early I will lock the door and watch from my mom's bay window while you freeze to death I don't care I'm someone who's like even if it's the holidays you better not come to my door I will take it as a threat you can't just show up to my house unannounced like some sort of murderer I don't care if it's a children's choir ringing my doorbell and singing Christmas carols this isn't dickensian England children so I consider you to be a religious cult attacking my home and that's why my guard dogs will be attacking you right now Jingle Bells Holly second so in another spoken but never shown example of how busy these kids are Ali is like so now I have to write this paper and get a Christmas present and be home by four for some reason so she's like my brother always takes the shortcut let's go and to me I'm like you've lived in La your whole life and this is some random new shortcut you learn from your little brother I don't buy it let alone the fact that they no longer even try to make Toronto look like La after this the girls are pedaling their bikes and it's clear Ali has gotten them lost because they're going much longer than the shortcut should have taken and they end up seeing this new home that is brand new to their eyes wow what that what a weird little house when you say weird and little do you mean normal and regular sized or is this just another example of a low budget fantasy movie whose production design doesn't quite match what the characters are saying it kind of requires you to suspend your disbelief like when you're watching a play because Disney Channel will have characters being like wow we're here on an alien planet I've never seen anything like it and it's just the outside of an office building with the Canadian flags taken down like okay I guess but whatever the cabin is whatever but since there are zero Evergreen forests in all of Los Angeles I'm more impressed that these two girls just rode their bikes either up a mountain or through a magical wardrobe and in either case I will be having them investigated by the anti-doping agency because both situations sound like drugs were involved being the naughty Lister Ally is like determined to go spy on this new Creepy house that they found and then she's just like I guess doing mischievous slash rude stuff for the of it I gotta be honest I had not remembered that she's supposed to be like on the naughty list at this point in re-watching the movie so it this whole suggestion felt really random and out of character after seeing her be so nice and loving to her parents and how and them not saying anything about her having behavioral issues there's some old guy inside building something what are you giving by ding dong ditch ding dong ditch girl is this the kind of you're doing instead of finishing that English paper because that was such a weird idea to have in such an already weird scenario like Ali do you not know how to write please sweetheart you have to try harder in school because ringing the doorbell will frustrate that old man for like one minute but bad written communication will frustrate everyone you text or email for the rest of your life and trust me it gets to be very popular in the coming years and if you really mess up a word the whole group chat will roast you like a couple weeks ago when I found out that penis isn't spelled with a pH I was getting it confused with the name Steven probably because I had an imaginary friend as a child named Steven penis and she spelled it with a pH penis that is she spelled Stephen with a V whoa I feel like I just heard myself explain why so many people block my number after the first date but it's okay because at least we have each other sorry I'm talking to Steven penis she's right behind the camera exposing her razor sharp teeth and telepathically communicating with her bloody eye sockets no Stephen penis I demand you sign the book of the devil now stop trying to make me laugh I have to finish this video it's the adventures of Nick and Steven penis so for zero reason after trying to use it to manipulate Sam into writing her report Ali goes to ring the doorbell and the old man comes storming out of the cabin with this piece of Machinery like it kind of looks like a mini air fryer and he's angry frustrated and cursing the machine and he throws it into the trash can and this intrigues Ally who wants to know instantly what's in that can man so she digs out the machine and they're like what is this and I'm like well it's clearly a clock radio but you know kids are curious so they had to take it home I don't condone this type of behavior either not only because she's taking something that doesn't belong to her but also you can't go digging through the trash touching the things that strange Forest Hermits have thrown away you might get a lightly used mini air fryer or you might get a homemade bomb so you gotta use discretion anyway Sam and Ally both take the machine back up to their room after we hear the little brother named Joey complaining about how the uncle is coming over for Christmas and he smokes cigars but he's excited to see his grandparents there is a queer-coded assistant like from Gilmore Girls helping assist the mom with her catering which is obviously super busy right now because of all the Christmas parties going on and then the magic of the movie is introduced and I was caught off guard by how ordinary the two girls seem to think this is they turn a knob on the machine and it creates a storm cloud in the room and rains down on them and then they twist another Knob and lightning strikes the lamp behind them their reaction is basically like this is so cool I would be like terrified by the physical impossibility of it all but whatever cool kids I guess they're just too cool to be scared of of the laws of physics being changed the Christmas present let me guess you got me a football no no I know you got me a poster of the Laker girl um as a pre-sexual child you shouldn't even want to objectify women yet and why would your sister knowingly give you a Christmas gift that you're going to learn to masturbate to no poster no poster messing around with other buttons on the machine the girls cause a minor earthquake and then snow that's what gives Ali the brilliant idea to put the machine outside because her cousins who live in Boston said they sometimes get so much snow that school is canceled and if they get a snow day the next day that will extend into Christmas vacation and Ali will have another two weeks to write her paper I think it probably took more effort for her to come up with that plan than it would have to just write the five page story that she's already outlined out loud they manufacture some tension in here like when the mom almost discovers this machine when she's yelling at Ally for flooding the bedroom even though she doesn't even ask why there are so many times in this movie where they'll be like how did this unusual impossible potentially dangerous thing happen and Ali would be like it's a long story it's like well then start talking I need to know I'm your mom so the girls put the machine outside but it doesn't start snowing instantly so Sam's like well at least you tried it was a good idea I'm like how was it a good idea it doesn't even sound plausible but whatever let's now jump to what's happening at the same exact time in the North Pole we have Mrs Claus and she gets a call from Santa that man in the cabin is revealed now to be Santa and he's like I've lost the weather machine and she's like it's okay we're gonna find it oh but this call only happens after two of the elves come in and Pitch Mrs Claus on a new idea say goodbye to the old North Pole and hello to the new I know what you're thinking Mr C crumping what about tradition won't the public be disappointed with the fact that Santa has entered the digital age I was thinking that your acting has the same wooden unrealistic quality as whenever a professional athlete makes a cameo on some children's show man this ship is awesome yeah I just saw a toilet with a drink holder so the two elves who just walked in and presented this are named Crumpet who's on the right side of the screen and sparky on the left who's played by Bill fagerbeck who is also the voice of Patrick on SpongeBob SquarePants they make the nonsense argument that they might as well automate Santa's Workshop since half of the things people know about elves are already false that logic literally doesn't connect but okay people still think we're three feet tall and have squeaky little voices what do you think Mr C I think it's the worst idea I've ever heard it was such a bad idea that it nearly blew her Platinum wig off oh no it's just really far back on her head also this wouldn't be television if Santa Claus weren't played by a 68 year old man while married to a Mrs Claus played by someone who's just barely passed her mid-40s they said we can't cast a woman with real wrinkles or gray hair uh as Mrs Claus she's like the only creature who lives in the North Pole aside from the snowmen that you put boobs on that's when Santa calls in a panic explaining that he's lost the machine and trying to help manage the situation Mrs Claus is like you know what I'll send two elves to help you doopy and doopy and he's like no you can't send my best ones send Crumpet and dump it they suck so that's how she agrees to let these two kind of forward-thinking yet slightly uh Dopey elves take on the all-important task of finding this weather machine and saving the planet Kim I patted him no you poked him like this hey hey man I keep going you know I was just gonna ask if you think Crumpet and Sparky have ever explored each other's bodies but there's your answer they don't even wait until after work they do a ring right in front of their boss that is my favorite Christmas song by the way oh the elves have sex with each other in the North Pole yes they do wait is that even a real song or did I just take another one of my private theories and set it to a Melody damn it I promised myself I would start figuring that part out before I sing the song out loud I accidentally came out of the closet singing what I thought was a new single from Celine Dion so as they are sort of afraid of reindeer and I couldn't afford live animals the two elves unveil their sport utility vehicle or sleigh utility sport sleigh a motorized sleigh or as we call it here in the human world a car and they use it to go off to the human world down south that night Ally is still not writing her paper I'm like girl you're really counting on some magic snowfall right now aren't you because it is Desert dry outside the dad calls and questions her about why her room was soaked she says it was a long story I'd be like that better be body fluid or you're like playing water balloons in the bedroom you better hope you dried up that wall-to-wall carpeting really well because we cannot afford to have someone come in and clean up more black molds from this house try and take shallow breaths in there from now on there are these two subplots that feel very like glossed over and forgettable one being Sparky and Crumpet running out of gas and landing in the middle of the woods so they kind of have to Trek on foot to find Ally which I think they could have gone back to a few more times and given us funny situations of these Fish Out of Water tall elves I remember thinking at the time how clever it was that oh my God the elves are not short they're really tall like what but now I don't know it doesn't seem that groundbreaking to me maybe that's just because I'm no longer a child also the weather man the meteorologist who is played by Peter Scolari the same dad from the series Honey I Shrunk the Kids he's reporting the weather but gets proven wrong when someone tells him that it's suddenly snowing outside which he claims is an impossibility even though you know it's definitely happened in Los Angeles before probably not as much as we'll see in this movie granted but he still looks like an idiot being like there has never nor will there ever be snow in this part of the country it's like well that's not true and that's not true so do your homework baby boy but after this embarrassment he's back at his office trying to figure out how this could have happened there's no indeed storms started somewhere I'm gonna figure out where well good because that's basically what being a meteorologist is I mean hopefully you already knew that but we just saw you melting the snow in hot toilet water to solve the mystery so it kind of feels like you're still trying to narrow down what sort of data would even be relevant to tracking the weather we already know that it's made out of frozen water now tell us what direction the wind is going to blow it this year my Ultimate Christmas Present is going to be the one that I plan to give to myself which is more time to relax and that means not spending too much time in the kitchen and thankfully I don't have to thanks to the sponsor of today's video every play you know how much I love every plate on top of Saving Time it also saves money which is another goal of mine during the holidays every plate is America's best value meal kit and it's even 25 less expensive than grocery shopping with another 25 in my pocket do you know know what sort of Christmas gifts I can buy for myself but for every plate I just assumed all meal kits were expensive and many of them are but now I can see the very smart way that every plate gets me the same fresh ingredients at a much better price so every plate ingredients being pre-portioned is something that I'm very grateful for don't like seeing rotting food in the fridge your every plate box will come with a high quality produce and ingredients along with a six step recipe that comes together in about 30 minutes and you can choose between a rotating list of 25 meals per week I have so much fun cooking my every plate meals and it's also fun watching my dog toast get more and more comfortable in the kitchen she used to hide in the hallway looking at me crazy but now she's in the mix eating little peas off the floor get started with every plate for just 149 per meal on your first box by going to everyplate.com and entering code nectaremia149 so this meteorologist Edwin had deadly gets called into like the big boss's office and this guy you know is like a typical TV producer and he's like I would have fired you already because you're the most boring weatherman on Earth but you're married to my sister so this is your last chance to give us the news that people want to hear go out there and figure out well the Backstreet Boys concert be canceled how is Brad Pitt getting to his movie set and I'm just like well those all seem like non-metealogical things couldn't you send an actual journalist also yes the concert's canceled and Brad Pitt is taking a car those don't seem like enough to make news stories out of but it does send Edwin on his way out of the house more determined than ever to find the scoop behind this mysterious storm because he's suspicious of its Origins for some reason like he's like there's no way I'm gonna be like you know they've been talking about global warming since the 80s the colds are gonna get colder a tense moment that was much more effective as a child is when Ali is watching the next day to see if her plan has worked and school has been canceled after a brief moment of suspense because the news anchor skipped over her school's name on accident she gets the good news and her and Sam and her brother run outside and have a really fun snow day they're sledding those four convertible adults have ruined the interior of their car by allowing it to fill with snow and they're making snow angels while screaming into the sky you know just kid things also it looks like Ali comes dangerously close to impaling Sam with a gardening shovel meanwhile investigating at the house the elves and Santa discover one of Ali's Footprints under a trash can in the snow Ali's mom is still running up that phone bill talking to the dad who has said oh sorry my flight was delayed because the snow is here in San Francisco as well the always Tech focused Crumpet and Sparky are trying to use the computer to figure out what type of shoe it was that made the footprint but Santa he knows it all from delivering these toys to thousands and billions of kids every year shoes or toys now this program we put together for lack of a better word Santa fantastic well hopefully there's no lack of a worse word because I need something far more negative to describe the paint job on that pointy prosthetic ear of yours what in the white Christmas did they glue to his head is the makeup artist doing touch-ups with a powdered mini donut ignoring all of the technology Santa deduces that there are only 400 size 7 girls that he brought that shoe to in Los Angeles that are also on the naughty list because a nice girl would never and so begins this sequence where they go and visit all of the Los Angeles naughty girls and scare them Tina got a minute yo Jennifer what's up hi Georgie if I had to choose the part of this movie that I think aged the most poorly it's probably when Santa and his goons descend upon all of the naughty girls in town and Corner them so they can be intimidated into giving answers all while Secret Agent Man plays in the background like what kind of secret agent is questioning children that's more like something a school teacher would do anyway the song was removed if you watch this on Disney plus due to copyright but that still doesn't address the uncomfortable power Dynamic of these tall men scaring little girls and asking them where their stolen is I would be traumatized for years if someone accosted me in public like this [Music] hello Mary Joe wow cool special effect at least it probably could have been back before television was converted to widescreen because Santa is fully visible on the right before the smoke bomb goes off covering his nose all three girls we see being questioned are assuring Santa and Dopey and Smokey that they did not have anything to do with this stolen thing I don't know if they like wipe everyone's memories after and questioning them or if these 13 year olds now just like know Santa exists regardless right as Samantha is getting picked up to go home Ali's mom gets a call from her dad that their flight has been canceled and now he may very well not be able to get home until late Christmas Eve if at all Sam pretends she forgot her hat so the two girls can run upstairs and quickly turn off the machines in hopes that this can undo the risk of Ali's dad not being home for the holidays because as a child having your dad stuck in another city on Christmas Day is the worst thing that could ever happen to you except for maybe one thing Sam can you remind us I think I don't want my father home for Christmas how awful would that can you imagine how much we'd all miss him yeah I think I can oh oh Sam I'm so sorry your character was so flat for the first half of the film that I completely forgot how dead your father is we can talk about it if you want you ever feel like it should have been you does your mom cry on his birthday every year you know what it doesn't have to be an interview format I'll just let you talk in an unstructured way try to hit on those topics though although she was three when her dad died she knows that he loved Christmas more than any other time of year and as she's telling this story Ali's like cool I have a better one about my parents who are still alive and therefore it's more relevant don't you think okay my mom has this charm bracelet that my dad gave her every year he gives her a new charm for it and she always knows she's gonna get it but she still acts all surprise and gets sleepy and emotional Sam knows all about getting weepy and emotional that's what happens when the director yells cut someone comes over and puts a few drops of Visine in your eyes and then the director yells action again voila extremely sudden and Incredibly large teardrops just in time for dead dad Christmas I'm obsessed with Brenda's song and it's been cool to watch her kind of acting and prove as she aged up from this very young age through teenage years like Wendy Wu which we've covered into her adulthood where we see her now the movie is always going back to show that the weatherman is on TV being a fool and Ali's mom comes into the living room and the kids have made a beautiful impromptu Christmas tree out of a potted cactus plant because they wanted to have something to decorate in case their dad got home from Christmas too late for them to get a Christmas tree the parents are also in a bind because both kids have a special present they want roller skates and a computer game that they for some reason waited until three days before Christmas to start thinking about and now they can't go out and get it but regardless I did think this was an effective emotional moment when the kids and their moms start roasting marshmallows and talk about how much they miss their dad and hope that he's home so it's like I feel the emotional Stakes of the dad not being home from Christmas are well established within the story that's been set up up here and as a kid I always felt terrified that my mom wouldn't make it home on Christmas Eve if she was at work like I thought like she's gonna get in a car accident I would be praying all day clearly I had anxiety not like now but hopefully the worst is over they did shut off the machine except for some reason it turns itself back on on the windowsill wow Ally is asleep so when she wakes up the next day it's snowing even harder and storming even more than ever before and Ali sees that this problem is not just affecting her family but like Sam's mom has to go into the hospital driving through this crazy snow because so many other people couldn't make it to work because they're snowed in at this point Edwin has completely narrowed down through snowfall height where the storm has started and he's off to go investigate that address that's right he's coming right to your door Ally you better hide your stolen property Ali's mom gets off the phone and delivers the bad news that dad won't be home for Christmas it's just not going to happen all the flights are canceled both Joey and Ally are completely heartbroken over this with Ali brought to tears while she looks at that charm bracelet that her dad adds to every year and realizing that wow Christmas is basically ruined because of her I know this wouldn't be as easy to explain to a child but like you could always celebrate Christmas any other day of that vacation right like it's just the date you can do it when your dad gets home but whatever the Canadian streets of Los Angeles are all but gridlocked so Edwin totally steals somebody's snowmobile Ali's mom continues to go crazy on that cordless phone but this time it's because her clients are canceling their Christmas parties due to the snow this wouldn't be such a big issue Colleen if you took security deposits on all of your catering orders like I told you Joey sneaks into Ali's room and nearly gets his hand on that machine on the window box which Ali can't figure out how to turn back off and Joey is convinced it's his Christmas present but she sends him out of the room and the frustration of this situation nearly causes her and Sam to get into a big third act fight because she says Sam is too chicken to do anything when they want to like go out to the backyard and bury it underground or try to extend the wire with a coat hanger and she's like no that could send the signal into space and cause an ice age it's like yeah it could but you don't know this is all magic so so anyway the girls decide on the burying of the machine to try to solve this problem but mom doesn't want them to go outside so they have to sneak which is a pain in these because Joey of course tells on them and they have to make up an excuse that uh oh since the power just went out which is the new kind of escalation now they're gonna freeze to death although they never seem to get cold or be without heat and they also seem to have certain electricity regardless Ali's like well I'm gonna get the emergency flashlight from the garage and Mom's like okay whatever can I go outside too no why not Joey please foreign waddle up the stage Spencer Breslin there is no electricity and your mother still has to make 20 to 40 more cordless phone calls about it so what if a cordless phone still needs electricity to work your sister is 13 and still believes in Santa can't you let me have this Mrs Thompson is just frazzled and worried to Pieces since her husband's not home so she's up on the telephone talking to nobody praying to a god that will not listen when the girls get into the garage they realize uh someone else is in here with us and in a moment that would cause me as a child to die of panic they realize there are three grown men in there with them who grab onto their coats and prevent them from leaving I would grab something sharp out of the nearest toolbox and just start gashing those faces Santa you're not leaving here with both your eyes you're not leaving here with your heart unpunctured it's going down kids are live they can be Scrappy if you if you Corner them they're gonna scratch your eyes out not so fast you are number 200 and 63 on my Los Angeles naughty girl list not to be confused with me number 263 on his Los Angeles nasty girl list Santa knows I'm a nasty girl because I will do anything for a fresh tin of peanut brittle come on Santa send me out into the barn and let all of your reindeer on me yeah that's really how intense it gets trying to move up a spot on that list LA nasty girls go nuts they go nuts for that peanut brittle of course Ally and Sam are pretty Street Smart kids and they're not just gonna believe any older gentleman who attacks them in the dark and says their name is Santa so Santa Claus has to use his omnipotent god-like and quite a bit too personal like all-knowing powers to prove that he not only is Santa but he also is able to see them in their most vulnerable moments president of Grant Junior High's Spanish club you brush your teeth three times a day which is very good but you seldom floss now do you believe I'm Santa anyone could have figured that out yeah for all she knows you could just be an ordinary child stalker who was waiting in her garage to grab her doesn't automatically mean you're something scary or intimidating like Santa Claus so that's when Santa really goes in to make these girls aware that he not only knows their but he's ready to spill their for the whole world to hear about Samantha you would like to dance to Ricky Martin music and pretend you're married to him Ali your friends may think you have the perfect family we both know that things aren't always the way you would like them to be damn seems a little unfair that Santa revealed Samantha's secret and it was just a outdated reference to Ricky Martin but then he turns to Ally and completely annihilates her with the full weight of her existential struggle against capitalism he said you like to dance to popular music CDs in your bedroom and you lie awake at night wondering what happened to the happiness you felt as a child while trying to predict what age you'll be when you die and whether it will be painful or not yep that's how Santa says Merry Christmas when you go through his trash and steal his little machines and then use it to cause a global winter so now there's been like eight times in this movie where there's been an uncomfortable situation of adults interacting with children in a way that they probably wouldn't show on television today just because it's not responsible it's not teaching kids not to talk to people they don't know but now they're going to remind us that it's not safe even if you're a grown woman in your own house either because the social contract and the sexism of society will pressure people into doing things that they don't want to just so no one can call them a but may I come in yeah um excuse me I'm so sorry is there something I can help you with or is there anything I can get for you or anything I can say so that you leave me and my kids unharmed Michelle seems to immediately regret her decision to let this strange man in just because he said he's the weather guy from TV and he's like you won uh spending a day with Edwin happily and she's like I didn't enter that contest and then he keeps creeping her out with these weird questions while he's looking around trying to find out what could possibly be in this house that is the source of this inclement weather he's like is your husband home does he work for the military blah blah blah blah God forbid she worked for the military as a woman right because of the storm yes what do you make of our little storm um it's a bad storm good good just keep answering questions like that and he might let you live I felt uncomfortable this whole scene obviously I know he's not gonna hurt her but it feels like he could after listening to so many True Crime podcasts over the years it's like so many people get hurt or have gotten hurt just by opening their door to people they don't know and going against you know what they've been their better judgment says apparently we didn't care about that 23 years ago because Disney Channel said whether you're a kid or a grown-up talking to strangers and letting them into your home is a fun harmless part of any holiday Adventure so when someone's acting strange towards you remember to ignore your survival instincts in favor of being polite and may God have mercy on your soul only on Disney Channel Michelle the mom gets distracted from the weird guy in her home with her children when she's called Away by her all-knowing Universal God the phone neither that should be working nor the tree lights should be shining because the power is out but again I can't police what parts of their house have battery backups or generators apparently the phone that makes sense she loves it and the tree that makes sense the kids worship it back in the garage Santa explains to to everyone just why he has this weather machine and what he was planning to do with it because I wanted to give people The Ultimate Christmas Present a gentle white snowfall so pure that we would all be reminded of the magic of the Season wow Santa you're a genius a gentle beautiful snowfall all around the world on Christmas really will give everyone a few moments of Happiness followed by a year of dead crops and famine that would lead to a catastrophic death toll but you know white Christmas wouldn't it make more sense if he had this machine because he needs to control the weather so that he can be sure that he's able to fly everywhere on Christmas Eve that's what I thought I remembered the solution being but nope it's clear from this conundrum that this little weather machine is the most dangerous thing to have been invented since the nuclear bomb except Santa's even more irresponsible with it since he not only lost it but it also only exists to carry out an idea that he thought would be cute and when here's some winds upstairs so he sneaks up there while Michelle is on the phone and when he opens the door to Ally's room he sees Joey sitting there with the weather machine he's clearly snuck back in and stole it thinking it was his present Edwin scares Joey into handing over the Machine by saying you stole that from me and you're gonna go to jail which is just like why are they showing all of these adult-on-child manipulation tactics it's not a good thing to normalize in a child's face whatever when the girls and the elves and Santa need to get into the house together without Mom seeing they ring the doorbell again echoing back to when Ali played ding dong ditch so you know Sparky distracts him by ringing the doorbell just another third object that shouldn't work without electricity who could say we don't know could be geothermal power we don't know and that's when the chase sequence begins and they run following Edwin all around the town he jumps on his stolen snowmobile with the weather machine and hilarity ensues as he crashes accidentally through a full-on structural wall of The Candy Factory in La I guess that exists at one point they show her address and it's like in the middle of downtown which doesn't make sense for this upscale beautiful neighborhood but regardless this town has ever La has everything so he crashes Through The Candy Factory and lands in this open vat of chocolate and we get this kind of parody Christmas parody of an action sequence where you know Sparky chasing after the guy up a ladder he uses a candy cane to zip line on a hook they're following Footprints made of chocolate you know eventually the elves are able to detain Edwin and they get the machine back so back inside Santa's cabin he's trying to figure out what's wrong and stupid Ally is like did you check the batteries and he's like these are jingle ready batteries they last a hundred years oh oh I put in generic ones so the thing had wonky batteries and that's why it was turning on unexpectedly seems like that would make it so that you can't turn it on but I get it it's a kids movie and I'm overthinking it but I want to be that way that's how I want to be Michelle gets to have her cordless phone I can't overthink the movie plot that's not fair so finally to my great relief because that means the third Act is wrapping up Santa is able to fix the machine and bring out the sunshine so that that snow can start melting baby Ali's like I'm definitely on the naughty list is here right and he said yeah but you know it could change you just need to be better do better stop around Blake doesn't even like you like that and you don't know how to spell the word restaurant because you don't finish your English papers and she's like okay that's fair Santa you can't waste all that energy and brain power on just skipping homework assignments and taking what doesn't belong to you you have to use them for things that are responsible and unselfish yeah you need to be responsible and unselfish like Santa was when he wanted more attention for his holiday so he invented and then lost a powerful machine capable of killing off all of the life on planet Earth through an apocalypse series of fire tornadoes and Frozen oceans I think I'm not gonna go ahead and take behavioral advice on the right way to act from a man who's wearing this much bronzer in one layer all over his face how is that helpful how is that unselfish leave some bronzer for the rest of us Santa as for Edwin he has a lot of compassion for Edwin he's like I you just need more challenges so what if you could go to a place where there was always weather changing and you would be able to teach people what you do who are as passionate about the weather as you are and Edwin's like I don't know where such a place would be and Santa's like well I'll see what I can do so the next day it's Christmas morning and while the kids are still sad that Dad won't be home for the 25th they decide let's wait to open presents until after he gets home anyway and mom is like great because I sort of didn't get you any presents so we're gonna have to take care of that later but then beep beep guess who pulls up in a Jeep it's Dad with his really overactive did speaking he got a ride from these cool super tall guys at the rental car place and then when Ali looks over it's Sparky and Crumpet saying don't tell anyone or we'll find you and even though nobody got the kids shopping done Dad does come through with the present of Yuletide tradition that we've heard and loved so much being here is The Ultimate Christmas Present exactly right Ali to be fair it wasn't a great Christmas present for all of the California Wildlife that froze to death this week but whatever Wildlife doesn't celebrate Christmas and maybe that's why Jesus chose not to save their lives but anyway we have no more need for Jesus and his birthday now that Santa and his weather machine have taken the Throne all hail Santa ruler of the Skies as evidenced by the fact that he is surveilling Ali right now with an unseen drone camera watching her and being like good work Ally and that's how Ally learned that the real Ultimate Christmas Present was the ecosystem she destabilized along the way Mary conkarm and that's all they had to unwrap on this Ultimate Christmas Present like a lot of these movies when I rewatch them as an adult there are facts or parts of the story that I thought were easily understood as a child because I remember knowing them but now I feel like could have been made more clear like I wanted to see more at the beginning of the movie that demons traded just what kind of thin ice in terms of getting in trouble Ali was in was she gonna fail out of school was she grounded and that's why she wasn't gonna be able to go to the party so she had to like kind of manipulate her way through all of these things maybe she's lying to one parent and doing another thing to another also Santa's reason for having the sleigh I feel like should have been more directly connected to his ability to deliver presents on Christmas although I did think it was clever how this movie allows even older children to be shown Ambiguously believing in Santa and it doesn't make us believe one way or the other whether Santa or your parents are the ones putting the gifts out there I mean for Ally she it would have been her parents but they couldn't shop but also she was on the naughty list so maybe God didn't compel them to shop through Santa I'm not a theological person as you can tell I'm barely even a logical logical person so what do you want what do you want from me where's my cordless phone let me know what you thought of The Ultimate Christmas Present was this an ultimate favorite of yours growing up are you a young person and this is your first time hearing about it let me know in the comments below also give this video a big thumbs up if you want to see even more crisscross charm charm movies from Mar marm this month spoiler alert you're getting them but most importantly if you're new to my channel I would love to have you click that subscribe button right over here that way you never miss new videos from me I upload two new ones every week so turn on notifications and you'll always be the first no to know when Santa Claus is watching you take a shower listening to Ricky Martin CDs also I've got merch and a patreon where you can access exclusive bonus episodes and virtual watch parties like this month we'll be watching Krampus right up against Christmas Eve it's gonna be fun you guys are all the greatest thank you so much for getting shot on by all the reindeer in Santa's garage with me oh chocolate that ooh chocolate that I will see you next time
2022-12-26