Nick Harauz - Dealing with the Imposter Syndrome
The imposter syndrome. And Some ideas that have come up in the past for me of how I have tried to overcome this that I deal with and I relate to a certain type of imposter. And ideas and how you might be able to push this past what's in the way. So just to give you an idea of what this session is going to be about where it's covered the five types of imposter syndrome. I have a resource where I grabbed these five types. I'll make sure to mention the author, as well as the book title. My experience dealing with the imposter syndrome.
Well, hopefully, identify which imposter syndrome, you're dealing with. If you have or are dealing with the imposter syndrome and ideas of how to build confidence in the face of that. We can also talk a little bit about self doubt and get on with it and then tips and tools to elevate your strength and and get you creating I do want to mention that I had a session this morning, which was entitled The creative manifesto and I did share some ideas and thoughts about Creativity and harnessing into that and if it is of interest anyone I believe all these sessions are being recorded, and you should totally check it out. That's if you enjoy my talk. Now I have a lot of time for discussion. So hopefully we'll be able to chat, whether you guys are using the chat pod to chime in, or At one point I make sure that everyone has a chance to be unmuted. So hopefully we can have a conversation
And if that sounds good with everyone. For those of you who have your camera right now can give me a thumbs up one or two if that sounds good. That would be awesome. And let me know in the chat if the sounds like what you signed up. Cool. Okay, let's start. With this first slide that really hit me hit home for me, which is the fact that 70% of people at some point in their life has dealt with the imposter syndrome. The idea of feeling like a fraud or where they are in their career was completely based on luck and have nothing to do with skill is hit 70% of us and that Own percentage. While it might not be true for people as they've
Developed their craft or at certain points in their career. It really does humanize this feeling that does come across some of us as artists or just people in work. So with that said, you know, including me. I really don't want to be up here right now. This has to do with a few different things. I, I get this feeling nervous feeling every single time I prevent presents. And I would say that There's always a little bit of self doubt that happens before I speak in front of a crowd, no matter what medium, I Speak towards I am someone who I would say, over the years, has become much more comfortable presenting contents. With what I'm an expert in which is video editing and motion graphics and how I trade is I speak behind the mic and I show an application in the background. So presenting in this fashion to you with slides and being able to look at the camera is definitely outside of my comfort zone and something that I have a little bit more of an imposter syndrome thought that comes over me every single time I do this.
Identify with a certain type of imposter. And this is a slide is not to show the stuff that I've accomplished. It's more to kind of say that Even with some of the accomplishments that I've done over the last little while in the last five, six years. I still have self doubt in everything that I do create. And to be honest, it hasn't gone away. But I found different ways of dealing with it and noticing how I talk to myself. Host: Nick. Just a quick question. Yeah, the slides, people aren't seeing the slides are you going through the slides. I'm totally going through slides. Okay, that's not good at all. Let me try this again. I stopped sharing my screen.
Host: If you can try sharing the screen, rather than just the window that might be a solution. Yeah. Can you see my slides now. Yes, there we go. I was up. Yes. Okay. So, Let's try that again. There was this one time. This brings up One of my first presentations for Adobe was in 2014 in Toronto and it was in front of a design crowd of over 250 people and I was very excited to show this new technology that was built inside the app, which is a new tracking features at the time.
I got into a groove and then ask the audience to applaud and I discovered that my screen had been frozen to the audience for five minutes and no one had told me So I had to do with Wi Fi in the area, but it was like one of these things where it's like, oh, wow, it's like you got to start over again and try it. And so going back to some of my slides here which you might have messed missed about The imposter syndrome. This is actually a shot of me and Adobe max and At that time I I was feeling like an imposter because the room size that I used to present in front of which Was somewhere in the middle between 50 and 200 people had expanded towards 700 people and this the idea, the fact that now that there's more people. There's definitely someone in the audience who is going to know that I am an imposter because there's more
These were some of my credentials that showed up earlier. And this is kind of the idea that I sometimes get when I feel like an imposter that I'm running away from my dreams. So, If you're dealing with the imposter syndrome and you have some of these thoughts or are kind of curious if you are dealing with the imposter syndrome. Ever feeling like a fraud in your career. The idea that despite extensive experience, you still feel are worthy of your accomplishments You may be sitting on project ideas and creative deadlines for fear of failure. you're spinning your wheels without self doubt because you can't add can't even start a project. And another idea that you're lacking the self confidence to stretch into what you can create maybe looking to take a leap.
Some of the references that come from today's slides are this book here. It's the secret thoughts of successful woman. And all about the imposter syndrome. But I, I tell you that it's equally for men as it is for women and kind of covers the ideas behind this Valerie Young, who actually had a conversation with the first time that I presented this Three years ago, and maybe just bounce some ideas. So this is me sometimes dealing with the imposter syndrome on vacation, trying to be laid back about creative projects. I am not doing a great job. Anyhow,
So this idea or feeling that comes over me of like what's really going on. And who am I to try to create this and share this with other people who are clearly more excelled in their career than me who definitely have more knowledge than me who are smarter than me. The list goes on of excuses that can fill or come to mind in my head. This is the idea of what happens when I start a long form project. I'm not going to say short form a feeling of being overwhelmed and In terms of some of the imposter syndrome types that I'm going to mention to identify with the expert. So this whole idea of I need to have as many certifications as possible in order to be relevant and teach other people So the more certifications. I have, the better. I need to go over applications thoroughly in order to be able to share my knowledge and learnings with other people. One of my first experiences where I really had to get over a hump of the imposter syndrome was when I was asked to be a video editor on this project called My father in the man in black.
And I was able to be a editor ahead editor on this documentary, which was about Johnny Cash and second manager. I saw Hollis, who lived in London, Ontario, and that's about two hours outside of Toronto. Canada. I was asked to be video editor. And I actually at first said no I'm not capable and then I sort of embraced the role because
The person that was involved in in charge of the project and really said, You gotta jump into this and it definitely was one of those projects where I had to overcome a lot in order to edit the final product. One thing that kind of helped and guided me through that experience was a book that I had read I think a few years before this, and then I rewrite it during this project. It's called my first movie. It's a It's a bunch of interviews 20 interviews in total and the author Steve and sits down with some major director names, who talk about their experience of their first movie and One of the silver one of the takings away from each of their experiences is that in most cases 70% of the things went wrong on the movie set. In other cases, it went extremely wrong, and it seemed that a lot of these directors had gained confidence after they had walked through this first experience where they were. Rather for ill informed of what needed to be done in order to create a film, and it was in their second or third movie where things became that much more smooth.
They became more confident in their craft. And they actually even starting to make money and not have to mortgage their house. There's a couple stories in here of directors mortgaging their house in order to get their first film done Anyways, it did humanize this this doubt that they had and seeing these experiences and how they dealt with failure and their learning experiences was something that I took to heart and gave me confidence in order to walk through This idea of editing a feature film at this time. Another book that really appealed to me was Robert Rodriguez is Rebel Without a crew and how he talks about his experience of how he made a $7,000 film.
At and the funny thing is He had made 400 short films before the $7,000 film, but it's advertised that he did and made this epic Incredible $7,000 film, but the amount of time he had spent practicing in short films with his sisters and brothers and his family gave him the confidence to do this and then from this $7,000 film. I'm sure you've heard of some of his other films that are out there in Hollywood. I wasn't here. I had 13 presentations at nav. Which was speaking in front of an audience and probably one of those Years, where I really had come to terms with different ways that I had doubts about being able to present in front of people. So I remember vividly. One of the first years I presented was was at a conference that was called. It was an editor's retreat back in 2013 and the first time that I had presented I'd spent three days. Practicing to be in front of a crowd. And that time it just diminished because I realized that a lot of the stuff that I was Practicing was redundant and it became more comfortable in chatting in front of an audience. And with those presentations. I still have this feeling, again, that I have of being an imposter in front of people. Some more than others.
Going back to this idea of a computer being my hideaway or my comfortable space is that There's something I think that I have made up in my mind where behind the keyboard and a mouse and an application. It's easy for me to communicate with other people and teach them technology. I think because it feels that The focus isn't on me and somewhat. That's true. And this was something that I had to actually overcome when presenting topics such as this, and the one that I did this morning was There is more to me than just teaching applications and more than I wanted to express so in figuring out okay this computer was my hideaway and being able to figure out how I Was using that as a crutch, I was able to then move forward and presented, new ways. That I'm proud of.
And to me, be honest with these conversations with myself that I'm having about myself and noticing how the self talk that I have is attributing to limiting beliefs and a closed mindsets that kind of helped me allowed to explore the world beyond my laptop and expand my teaching style. In my experience of dealing with projects, something that I try to encourage and I did this morning, as well as to try to avoid the reactionary workflow. The idea behind this is to be Thoughtful Through your creation projects and try to notice. When you're under stress. And when you're forced with a deadline, how you respond in certain situations and how those beliefs of that stress and that situation could hinder the products that you deliver Creatively As someone that deals with the imposter syndrome. Another concept that really hit home with me was developing when I was learning new concepts and trying new skills safe places to let's say fail.
Or learn that I was comfortable with and expressing with trying out new ideas trying out new things that I could teach workflows. So finding these Places, which could be as simple as just me getting on a Skype call with three people or colleagues that I feel comfortable expressing myself with running ideas on or presenting in front of a smaller audience before presenting a topic in front of a bigger one. gave me confidence to sort of step forward and move past that imposter syndrome. So educating yourself is of course important And embracing the unexpected. On an outside your computer. If you're a technologist, like myself, So when dealing with the imposter syndrome, maybe the first step is to acknowledge how this gets in your way.
And speaking personally. One of the things that I've done for myself is To practice breathing techniques. Some of these breathing techniques are just as simple as focusing on my inhale breath and my exhale specifically when I'm recording contents or Speaking in front of a large group of people The other just comes with meditation and meditation has many different flavors. Sometimes a meditation could be To a lot of people, it's working out. To me, it's this ability to have 10 minutes every single morning that I can claim for myself where I sit in silence. And to be honest, I'm really, really bad at it.
So a lot of times I end up thinking about other things rather than concentrating on the breath. But this truly does or has allowed for more space in other activities that i i do So let's, let's get on to this idea of the imposter syndrome, and I want to be conscious of time to which is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistence internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud. Let's talk about five types of imposter syndrome as well. The perfectionist. The natural genius, the experts, the rugged individualist and the superwoman Superman.
Or super students We're going to break down each of these and then give an idea of how you might be able to reframe your own thoughts to break out of this imposter syndrome pattern. So maybe some of these things. If you're a perfectionist or identify with this might ring true so nothing short of perfect is acceptable. Nothing is good enough. Quality to the max.
And a refusal to let yourself get ahead. How might you be able to rephrase or rethink some of these ideas of how these thoughts might be getting in your way of accomplishing, whether it be regular daily work tasks or creative tasks that you're very fond of and want to show to other people. That might look at at the idea that your perfectionism is inhibiting success. The idea that Moving ahead involves sharing and being able to continually In some ways, per share content with other people in the social media driven world. Another reframe can be to think about modern companies and a lot of social media companies that are Selling for hundreds of dollars on the stock market right now we're completely different ideas to what they are now like completely different.
To the fact that's you can look at Instagram. I believe it's PayPal, which was a cryptocurrency company beforehand. Several other brands that we know are ingrained in our minds were Even YouTube were completely different concepts, but then they read during the process of selling their business idea to people that they wanted to work with. They rebranded as they went along. And also think about how the perfectionist idea or being a perfectionist might impact those around you. So the natural genius. You're born with true competence. ease and speed.
Is what matters the most. In both creative, as well as your daily work. It's important to get to the top, without any effort. And if this were meant to be. It would be way easier than what it is.
I think, I think. Some of the reframes that we can look at here is that effort is in some instances, greater than ability, putting an effort. The idea of continual learning ease and speed come with experience. And I will say as someone who studied video editing for over 20 years It's amazing to think sometimes how much how fast I can absorb certain procedural workflows in a specific application and it all has to do with the fact that I've sat with material for so long that it's muscle memory and it builds on itself. And that's what makes it easy. And real success isn't as easy as it looks. It's just made to look easy.
Here's a quote for the natural genius reframe if you want to take a look A lot of times when you see a complete book. You don't see all the struggle or the 20 to 30 drafts that happened before it got published So the expert. This is my domain. He need in depth training for everything. There's a thresholds, you need to be at before you take action. Can't do a job without more knowledge. And competence requires absolute knowledge of a given subject.
Some of the reframes that you can do. Our be comfortable with not knowing it all. Off for myself. I've had to realize that it will be impossible for me to get through all of the tutorials on YouTube. Just, just not possible. Respect your limitations knowledge doesn't end and action also provides a lot of expertise that just watching and learning does not The rugged individualists so unaided achievement. No help should be required or ever You perform miracles by yourself at risk to yourself and you travel the solo route. Some reframes might be the identity of what's needed to identify what's needed to get the job done. And then if that involves other people
And may help with the process. That might be something that you could try to rely on The importance of using the brains around you in order to grow in your career. The fact that delegating saves a lot of time in the long run. AND IS IT SOME what okay if someone knows you don't know. So the fact that Let's say, being an art tour.
Being comfortable with not knowing something or not doing something Letting something go and allow someone else to handle it in order to, let's say, grow in another area. The Superman Superwoman. You need to juggle it all. Having it all means doing it all. Handling multiple things perfectly in simultaneously all of the time.
Take all of the traits of every single One of the imposter syndrome. So we've just had and sprinkle some caffeine on it and you have the idea of the Superman Superwoman. I would say some of the reframes that you might want to consider are learning the power of saying now. Doing less is actually doing more And the idea that I love this concept that this is one life you know There's only an infinite amount of time in a day. And sometimes Choosing how to spend that or exert your energy is needed and required We're close to the, the part where I want to open it up to questions very shortly. But I want to leave with another
Inspiring thought, which is this video I saw on YouTube. Several years ago by Phil Hansen called Embrace the shake And how this artist after developing a shake. In his hand, he was prevented from doing the artwork that he loves and went into depression for two or three years and he was unable to create and he did not want to share any of his artwork with other people. He eventually Started to get over the shake and realize that is art was more than just What he was trained to do, and he embraced that shaking his hand he developed his own art form and you should see his work. It's unbelievable. That's pretty much it for slides I'm going to say, and before I throw out my contact information. I thought this would be a great time to open up the floor.
If it's possible to unmute everyone's Mike's right now really curious to see If any if you Host: Have learned something today. And if you feel that you've identified with an imposter syndrome or don't relate to it at all. No answer is incorrect. So, Alyssa Landry: I was surprised to relate to several actually Who, who is speaking side. I just don't see it on the screen right now. Alyssa Landry: Sorry, it's a it's Alyssa speaking and listening even have my Which I was there one more than another, which which one is related to to you the most.
Alyssa Landry: I thought I was going to relate the most to the perfectionist one and it ended up relating the most to this Super Woman one but oh my gosh I do that I think I can do everything in one day. Cool. Alyssa Landry: Did sort of surprising to how to get that awareness from just listening to, you know, I was thinking oh imposter syndrome. I know all about that I've been dealing with it forever. I'm you know I'm over that and you think, Oh, actually, maybe I'm not Did I'm so curious to some of the the reframes give any insight or ideas.
Alyssa Landry: Yes, I think so. Yeah, I'm especially for the year. Right. I love that idea of The one life. Alyssa Landry: That's that's the whole struggle, isn't it is how to integrate all of the things that we love doing and let some of the rest go like creating your priority list. I think maybe Very cool. And Alyssa Landry: And recognizing that you cannot do it all. Thank you so much for sharing, by the way.
Alyssa Landry: Well, thank you for this great talk. So who else out there. Speak up. I'm just checking out the chat to it was invisible to me while I was presenting my slides and I've missed a little bit Alyssa Landry: Oh my gosh, a whole bunch of other people have said they have a combination of them. That's so cool. Thanks. Well then, really appreciate. Thanks, Jonathan. So Ivan was saying perfectionist.
Others work difficult. I see. Yeah. What about some just gonna change my view. Anyone else want to share Gary Frank: Hi this is Gary. One thing I've discovered, which I wasn't aware of is that I'm not any one imposter. But I have qualities of a number of them. Gary Frank: So nothing is ever good enough. I should do this by myself. I can't do anything because I don't have the right education. So it's a little of everything. Instead of, you know, 100% of one Gary Frank: And thank you, by the way, this was Gary Frank: Great. I really enjoyed it.
I really appreciate that. Thank you, Gary. So that's so you're relating to little pieces from each of the imposter syndrome types. Yes. Okay.
Did any of the reframes from any of the types ring stronger than others. Gary Frank: Well I, I understand that perfectionism inhibits success. Um, I wasn't thinking about it in terms of how it affects others but in in some of these. It's a matter of Gary Frank: You know, I, I say, you know, if this was my creative art was meant to be. It would be easier. I would have been more successful at it but yeah effort is more important than ability and
Gary Frank: Just doing it and getting it done and not really worrying about outcomes is is pretty important. Um, the reframes I have to think about because I was typing very quickly. So I'll need to go back and look at them all, but um Gary Frank: Yeah, these are really good. Very cool. I want to go back to actually something I was talking about in my earlier presentation, which was about some
The creative manifesto and it was just ideas I had about how you can harness your creativity and there's this book that I absolutely love by A Canadian author who happens to be a musician by the name of David, I should have called let the elephants run and when he talks about creativity and there's other influencers out there who talk about it. They always say creativity is an action sports. And the minute you realize and take that action. And move forward and start to Look at If what you're doing is serving Lee creatively, as well as how to go about achieving your goals. A lot of power comes in.
If anyone wants. By the way, I'm more than happy to share either deck from my presentations. I will give out my email information at the end of this so you guys can contact me. Jeremy Wallace: You Nick Thank you. This was just your to put your self out there. It's a vulnerable. Jeremy Wallace: Explanation that you go through. So thank you for sharing the insight on it because it has been something Jeremy Wallace: Everybody's winging it in a nutshell. Everybody in the whole world. Everybody around the world is just sort of winging it as they go and
Jeremy Wallace: When you, when you have knowledge about this, especially when you get into creativity. It could go any direction you know so you might creatively decide to do something and I want to do something differently. And that's it. We're not wrong. We just have different you know if it's Jeremy Wallace: This. This was great. This is I've heard you speak before, but not in this capacity. So thank you for taking the time with it. And I think it struck a lot of chords with me. I saw a lot of myself in a bunch of different Jeremy Wallace: Types of imposters but Jeremy Wallace: You know, it's just you gotta let it go. I mean that's that's that's the moral of the story is don't get wrapped up in and stay out of your head, but thank you.
Jeremy. Thanks so much for those compliments. It really does mean a lot and They The. It's so funny they they fake it till you make it reminded me of a tweet from someone. His name is Aaron will benefits and he used to work for red giant he no longer does, but he was then in charge of their marketing and for a number of years. Involved with Adobe After Effects tutorials. And one day, everyone was talking about the imposter syndrome. This is two years ago and his comment was, I don't deal with the imposter syndrome. I am faking it every day. And to see that from someone who's highly successful and take from it what you may Kind of humanizes the whole thing in my opinion. Jeremy Wallace: I'm Just gonna check these off time mark. Yes, the slides, I will give some information. Thanks, listen.
For the compliment agenda. Yes, I'll give out some of my information. Thanks, Mark, and I'm just reading the compliment. Sorry. The comments. Aspects of my own experience, and several of the categories and certain phones, the free frames of positive refocus. Awesome. Thanks, man. Camilo saying that I find qualities from each type words apply to me. And although I can identify with Martha perfectionist in terms of the reframes I like the example of thinking about the beginnings of those who have not grown to be huge companies. I've actually been struggling with this and it was great to hear it as a concept and see the reframes awesome Brian, don't tell my clients, but I've been faking it for 20 years just don't send me their emails. Any by the way you've been doing an amazing job because I've seen your studio Brian Ontario, who's here with us is a fantastic video editor and also producer of some amazing content in Las Vegas and it's great to see you here, ma'am.
Jendra Jarnagin (she/her): Can I, can I ask a question, comment. Jendra Jarnagin (she/her): Yes, this is Kendra, I'm actually going to be a panelist on Sunday and the Exploring Photography panel. Jendra Jarnagin (she/her): And I was a I found it really refreshing that you quoted and featured a book that was specifically addressing women's Jendra Jarnagin (she/her): insecurities around imposter syndrome that you were open enough to read such a book to recommend such a book. Jendra Jarnagin (she/her): And you know, I do a lot of, um, I miss. I'm a cinematographer there's very few women cinematographers of my age and experience level and I've been Jendra Jarnagin (she/her): Involved in a lot of conversations around inclusion and diversity and supportive women's groups about trying to help them get ahead in business and I think a lot of Jendra Jarnagin (she/her): Women identify with imposter syndrome to such a degree that they've been acculturated to that, I would say a lot of women think that it is a uniquely female Jendra Jarnagin (she/her): Trait or or insecurity not biologically, but how we've been acculturated in our society. So to have a male artists teacher trainer talking about imposter syndrome was incredibly refreshing to hear the universality of the experience and also to you know to get that Jendra Jarnagin (she/her): Idea in there that you're even reading books written by and for women about it. I thought was really great.
I really appreciate that compliment. Thank you. So Much and I did, I really did find that said book insightful and when I remember when I first saw the cover. I was Like you know what this book, even the title is something that I want to research and feel like identify with and one to get some perspective and I was pleasantly surprised that while a lot of it was directed towards women there was little passages where it was inclusive towards men, it just not As talked about. So that was refreshing to me too, but I really do appreciate that and I would have to check out some of your, your panelists session sounds awesome. Awesome. Thanks, Jeremy. Have yes we do have five minutes left in the session. There's a thought here from Lori. I wanted to share, which was having imposter syndrome implies that despite your fear that you are not worthy. You have gone ahead and done something anyway.
Is that not already pretty awesome. I love it. I wanted to share my contact information, just in case some of you have to run to another presentation. So bear with me. As I believe I accidentally just Shut down my PDF. But that's not a big problem to bring up again. Nick at Creative 111 that's 111 Dot com if you want to reach me by email, and a second. I'll have my slide up as well.
There we go. Probably easier just to type in the last page. There we go. Jendra Jarnagin (she/her): Through your slide.
Host: Yeah. Nick. I'm sharing right now. I haven't got it. Host: Oh, there we go. Excellent.
Can you guys see that Host: Yep. Awesome. And please email me. I do an Instagram LinkedIn, Twitter, want to chat. I would love to. And I really, again, I appreciate everyone who shared in this presentation because it It helps with this topic I and I do appreciate everyone's time today and being able to Share something that's a little bit vulnerable to me and the fact that Everyone is still here and I got something from it makes me really happy. So thank you.