* "Dmitriy Gromov's production" presents * - Friends, we are done with flea market, now we are beginning the most interesting part of our test drive - test drive on the factory! Comrade takes a place here, do some dr**s and I'll be driving! Just joking, Comrade doesn't do dr**s. We are taking Katerina with us and right to the factory! I'll be driving this bucket and see what it can do! Comrade, you'll have to lose your consciousness for now. - Yes. No problem. - Good! - I think Katya has birthday again today.
* intro * - Where's the speedometer on this car? I can see only Bitcoin currency... - It has no speedometer, it only has Bitcoin currency! - What about Bitcoin? - Today Bitcoin got down to 36 000. - What's that bulls**t? - Comrade, what does it show to us? It's an electric car, it's charging from the sun. How many kilometers we have to drive today?
- We can drive about 590 kilometers. - How many?! - 590. - For real?! - Seriously. - We had only 200... - The camera fell down. How many kilometers it can drive on full charge?
- 1080 on full charge. - Why do we drive through Kyiv then? We could drive to a lake and fish a bit. - Elon Musk put electrical bracelets on us and restricted our... - This one? -... Yes. And we can't drive out of the Kyiv. The time we will leave Kyiv, the car will die out. - How's that? - Like that. - Why do I need to drive 1000 kilometers in Kyiv? - Wait, this is the car from the developers of iPhone? - Of course. From Tim Cook and his team.
- Tim Cook is the guy from Sex Pistols! Elon Musk is the guy who made created Bitcoin? - Yes, he's a trader. He makes good money from it. - Yeah? - Well, he needs to develop his space industry somehow. - I got you. Wow, Comrade! Yo! Yo! The hell?! - Sus! Sus! Sus is the best! Sus! - Hello.
- Do you know that you congratulated us yesterday? - Congratulations! Thank you! - Do you remeber us? - Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes. - Sus! - Hello! - Wassup! Katerina, sup! - Hello! - That's it, friends. Katerina has arrived and we move to the factory! It's Elon Musk gave us the Tesla, if we'll like it, we'll have it. Most likely, it'll not get to the factory. - That's it! Bye, friends! Happy Holidays! - Bye! Bye! Goodbye! - Bye! - Yup. - Dima, I'll give the cap.
- Okay. - Thank you very much. - So, friends. Katya has joined us, and she has a birthday again! This is the only person in the world, which has three birthdays in a year! The reason "why" - write us in the comments!
Now we are moving to test our wonderful car. Susanin will grab him some kolbasa, we stopped near a mall. He'll go and grab some kolbasa and we'll drive to subburbs. Sus will here, I'll sit there. And we'll begin to test Tesla in it's fullness! - It was really unexpected when I was waiting for you, and a red cool Tesla drives by to grab me. I still don't know what's going on, I'll make up my mind later. Yet, the car is very cool. - Katya, while we are standing the car is still working. It's mining Bitcoin and Ethereum. - Mining, huh? - Yes! - Right now. How difficult it is to mine?
- The difficulty has raised over a time. It's really helpful that lots of video cards are plugged all over the car. Here is a video card. On the top is a video card. All around the car. Bottom has a layer of video cards, it's covered all over. There are whole farms. Can you feel how hot it is? - Yes. Yes, it's... - It's 26C! It's considering that it's -17C outside! - Now we are driving to test Tesla further! Care about the nature, mine from the car, and we are moving on, to the factory! - We are waiting for Sasah Kreosan. - I repeat, I don't know who's this! - Alexander Kreosan. We are waiting, he'll move out from here. He's doing shopping right now.
- I'm happy for him. You can't stay here. - Only 2 minutes. Sasha Kreosan will move out and we... - See, I already called for a patrol, so it's on your... - Called for a patrol? - Of course! It's a sing here... - Sasha will pay. - It's your problem.
- I'm only a driver. I'm not guilty. - Damn... He doesn't know to whom he stepped?! - It's an impudence! - I know where cops are staying there! - Nice! - Elon Musk, why is it happen...? - It's a humor-mode in the car? - No. I don't know what's going on! Katya hopped in and it has begun! There was nothing, and now it has started!
- Comrade, turn it off, please! - Katya?! - What? - What is this car? - Turn it to "drive"! - I don't understand. - It's toilet jokes! Americans created them! They could've joke normal, like to drive on a flea market and squash some frying pans! To speak with Zhora Podolskiy! Seksots of Elon Musk! If you'll tell him about all of this, you'll answer for it according to the law! And according to the thief's law, you'll sit on a sharpened spades! - You are a serious grown man! Why do you turn this on? - It's not me! It's Elon Musk testing a new weapon on us! Hello! How are things? - Bait him here. - Bad, huh? - Let's give him some money. Holler him. 3 seconds to 100 km/h! By the way, it's 760 horsepower! It's..
- You calculated it? -... Electrical! Electric! * Entering the CHP! * - Dear friends! Katerina has arrived! Our beloved Katerina! And the most interesting part begins! Papa will drive the car! Now I'll put you to sleep for it! - Nah! Nooo... - And I will be behind the steering wheel! Test-drive will show us who will be shaving bald! - You'll be shaving, for sure! - Now we'll see! - What will we see? It'll drive anywhere! We just drove on the train lines on it! - Katerina, how do you like this car? Or you had not enough time to look at it? - No, I had enough time! Thanks to Elon Musk for sending it to us! And could enjoy this beautiful trip, but now Susanin will... - Destroy it! - ... test it! Try it. The most important opinion is the opinion of Susanin! - No, we need your important opinion for now! - Well, I like everything! I like all of it! - Are you sure that you like all of it? - Yes. - Only suspension is too tight.
- Yes, suspension was very present on every pit. - And we used 60% of battery already! - 60%?! - We have only 40% of charge, considering that we drive only half of the day and only in the range of Kyiv. - Well, yes. The most important thing is that I want to brake this car till the end today, but we'll see. - We arrived to the CHP. Energy here is practically free! - By the wat, it can charge from the cables! - We have batteries. - Test drive on CHP! - We were very lucky and got a very cool guitar! Respect to the granny from flea market! I do an accord and it sounds nice! ♫ I will train and create new songs for you! Subscribe to the channel! Super Sus! ♫ ♫ Cosmic-deputy is with us! And he's very happy to the... *don't know the language, most likely it's made up* ... And he's peeing with in the pants! ♫
♫ Cosmic-deputy is with us! And he's very happy to see everyone! x2 Cosmic, dance faster! x2 Cosmic, c'mon faster! And show us that you're a dancer! ♫ ♫ Cosmic! ∞ You! Cosmic! ∞ I! Cosmic! ∞ You! Cosmic! ∞ I! ♫ ♫ Cosmic! ∞ 's a deputy! Sus and Cosmic! x2 Sus and Cosmic - deputy! Sus and Cosmic! x2 Sus and Cosmic - deputy! ♫ ♫ Sus and Cosmic and Katerina! x4 Sus and Cosmic-deputy! x2 Sus and Comsic and Katerina! (Sus x3 Sus- deputy!) x3 Sus and Cosmic and Katerina! ♫ * Wryeeeeeeeeeeeeee! * * advertisement * - That's it, Comrade! Fast! God damn it! I'm telling you! - What's wrong with you? - Nobody will help you here! You won't be able to call to your Elon Musk! We have signal disruptors here. So, come out, sir! You'll be bald like a seal! C'mon-c'mon! Okay, goodbye, gentlemen! I'm getting the Tesla and drive out! - How's the sit..? - Hop in! - Sit back. - How's it doing it? It's automatic, Comrade? - It's already came? - The car is on? -... from the side. Yes. - This? F**k this s**t! So, let's go! - C'mon! - C'mon, just...
- That's, friends, I'm driving! Call me in VK! See ya! - Your feelings? - Huh? - Feelings? - It's okay, just unclear. Like you are driving a toy! - Wait-wait-wait! Watch where you driving! Wait! Watch where you driving! - Wha?! What? - Watch where you go..! - F**k! - Can't hear! Granny's deaf! S**t! - Brake! - Wait! Sus, don't mess around! Don't mess around! - Why are you messing around, Sus? - Let's do it calmly! Feel the car! For real! - I'm already feeling it! It's a good car! - Wait! A hatch! Wait! The hatch! F**k! You almost drove on the hatch! S**t! You drove on it! Now that's a driver! Sus, do it calmly. Because, for real... It's... - C'mon, drive back a bit... - You almost f**ked up the plastic! - So, gentlemen, you were a passengers of Budulay for 30 seconds! Your feelings? - I'm very nervous! - You almost got into the hatch! - So what? - The best Tesla influancer! - Turn on the front-wheel drive! - Call with the help of the worm in your brain! - Careful! - It's ooookay! Shut the f**k up! I don't know, I don't feel anything. It's not a car. F**k knows what... - Why the hell did you turn on the sit heating for me? - I didn't! - You tell me! Yes! - It's bugs in my head projecting my thoughts, got it? - Katerina, your feelings? - I'm a bit nervous. Susanin is messing around, it's scary to sit here. I have even put safety belts on myself. So, Sus, don't mess around!
- How can I not mess around? - Elon Musk won't forgive you! Don't crush the car, please! - I don't care. - Robot. - Robot-policeman. Robo-Sus.
- Now we'll see how Tesla will deal with jumping over rails! - Just careful, Susanin. You drive too crazy. - It's off-road forward. - That's it? Gas? - Yes. - Gas! I said gas! - Turn it off. Why it's bee-bee-bee-f***ing-beeping? - It's someone's safety belt is not put. - Careful! - Hey, wait! - Careful-careful-careful! Okay, Sus! Let's seriously concentrate! 9 people are in the car! - 9 children are gone missing near that lake. 4 more afterwards. And you people are only talking!
- Guys, check this out! It has six sitting places! Two. Two. And hear even three! Nine sitting places! How do you like it on the third row? - It must the most comfortable row. You can sit hear. You can lay. It's pretty... - Cool. - Yeah. The disposition of the sits. - Is it eco-leather? It's made of antarctic penguins? - I think not. - Ah, it's a vegeterian car.
-... car, yes. That's why I'll... - To be serious, dear gentlemen, Susanin has no driving license right now. Right now he's attending driving school. Takes classes with an instructor. And in a half of a year he drove 10 different cars, yet on automatic. He has something to compare. Any feelings? - It's like a toy. Unrealistic this Tesla. - Why? - I don't know. It's not grugging or farting. Does nothing! It's strange. Strange feelings! It's like to have sex with robot. Have you ever had sex with a robot? With a plastick doll. It feels the same. - What about drive and dynamic? - It has a good dynamic and drive! - Be careful here! It's... - It's okay! - Obstacles.
- Old man, don't worry! We'll get there! - Obstacles. - I will save you, old man! - How did Tesla allow you..? It checks via fingerprints... and retina... how young are you! - It's okay! - Don't fool around, for real! - Wow! Wow! Easy! - We are driving to Prostokvashino! - Slow down a bit! - Wow! Gagarin! - So, guys! We trusted to Susanin for one more time! Just look how good was the road and here is a dead end! It's no way to drive further! Even a Land Rover wouldn't drive through here! Well, Land Rover would, but Tesla wouldn't for sure! So what? We will drive back. Come back to the starting point. - We are interested in..?
- We need to get to the other side! There were people having sex, we scared them out! - On the other side a giant old brick factory is situated! We need to get there for a test drive! - But people were having sex here! - We'll get them. - Okay, I got you here, now drive me back. I'm tired. Yes! - What the hell! You jerked me out, got me to a dead end, crawled here and just sit! - Old man, you'll live! - What you think you are! Relaxed here, on the sixth row and sit like a king! - I'm a king! - What kind of king are you?! - This kind.
- Susanin's kind? - Need to write "Youtube" here. - Are you a Youtube-king? - Yup. - Okay, I'll drive you back, king.
- Sit behind the steering wheel, old man! - Hey, do you have a bell there? For the channel. Write Youtube and put a... - To write "Youtube" and put a bell here! - ... put a bell, yes. - Yeah. - And the f***ing go! - Pneumatic! How it works.
- Well, it goes very good. - The beeds have fallen! It means that thief's law isn't working! Greetings! Tell us, where can we charge our auto here? It's CHP, right? - There is no such place. - No electric charger for Tesla? Didn't build an infrostructure? I see that there are coils and thought... - It's just cables. - And I can charge from them? I can just plug my charger, that's it. - No, there is no place for it.
- Just throw a charger... - There is no... - I have only 15%.
- What can I do? There is no such place. - No, huh. I know that people before just plugged their charger and that's it. - You need a welding machine for it. Lowering and stufff. - I can do it just like... - We have nothing like this, guys.
- No? - Nope. - Okay, sorry for troubling. Good luck. - It's a big minus of electrocar.
- Yes, nowhere to charge. We got to a CHP, just look at that coil! A monument to a soviet phalos! And that's it! That's it! And it's nowhere to charge! It seems ike electricity is everywhere, yet nowhere to charge! - Damn, CHP... - Why are you stopping? - Because it's written "stop". Control. - There are no cars. - Well, I'm not breaking the rules.
- What's the point? - What do you mean? If it's written "Stop" - you need to stop. - What's the point? - If it's written "Stop" - you need to stop. Safety instructions were written in blood. - So, Tesla is falling apart, bit by bit. It's because it's not a sunny California! It's a motherf***ing Troeschina! - Is he right? - Pretty much.
- Greeitngs! Where can I charge Tesla? Don't know? Sorry. - So, what can I say about Tesla? It doesn't suit our digger needs. It's not for us. Comrade, maybe take that Tesla away, or you'll leave it for us? - I'll leave, it's your car. - Take it? - Elon sent it to you.
- Okay, guys. I'll take it for myself. If it was sent to me and for free. I'll take Tesla and drive home. Here, you won. - Okay. - What can I do...
- Should we shave brows as well? - Just do it like this: "shows how" Throw it away. Hat as well! Bam! So the hat would fly away! - I will have revenge for my mustaches! - Comrade, just don't shave me bald! - Hair length will be as big as the fitting. - Don't shave me to bald! I want some hair! Comrade, don't shave me bald, please! - Okay. I can leave it like this.
- Make me a brush hairstyle. A box. Half-box! - Please, yeah! Half-box, please! - Half-fool. - What, Comrade? Do you feel revenge? - I feel myself like a barber from Friseur. - Yes? - Hey, Sus! You became younger! - 15 years at once! - Seriously? - Yes. - He's not shaving me bald, I hope. I can't see anything.
- No he's making a *"herring"! *(traditional kozak's hairstyle) - Katya, wanna try? - Wha? - Elon Musk is giving away Teslas to anyone who's shaving bald with Tesla on the background. - New propostition. Comrade, just don't shave me bald, I'm begging you! - Your hair'll be as long as the fitting on shaving machine, don't worry. - Comrade, why so much hair has fallen down?! - I'm shaving you 2mm.
- What 2 mm?! Just don't shave me bald! - No bald. - I'm asking you, seriously! We are serious people, old man! Like dogs have tattered someone. People will think, that dogs have torn someone. - Ew, Comrade! Your hands are smelling with p**sy! Ew! You must've ate some fish or touched something somewhere! - I had a date not a long time ago, so what? - You had a fish dinner.
- Nightmare! - Katya, am I shaving okay? - No, it looks pretty smooth and good, as I can see. It's interesting to observe from a side. - Sus, are you satisfied? - Yes, of course. - Feel yourself better? - Yes.
Oh, it's scratches! That's it! Thank you for shaving me! - Can I have this shaving machine? - No, this machine will be left here. - Are you mad, or what?! - So, friends! Stop shaving with gas shaving machines! Do it with electrial ones! Drive only electrical Teslas. Stop using gas and bezin Teslas. Use electrical gas! Use elecrtic! Use new technologies! Buy new cars! And everyone will be happy and we'll be able to secure our ecology and nature! - What will you say Elon Musk? - Send us more cars. Make Cyberptruck faster, so we could make Cyberpunk! - Yes, beacuse it's not for Kyiv's roads.
- This one doesn't suit us. We need one, which could drive 1000 kilometers, and so it could drive through rails, so we could escape on it. - It didin't reach our level. - It didn't, yes. - A bit. - So, friends. Love and appreciate nature. Draw paintings! Love your friends! Respect your friends! Respect your enemies! And everything will be good! Hello to Elon Musk and we are moving forward!
- Elon Musk, give us Cybertruck! Give me Cybertruck! Cybertruck! Give me Cybertruck! Elon Musk, hear me? Send us Cybertruck! I have a bitrthday soon. Hey, Elon Musk, and I wanted to ask you to make Bitcoin 100 000$! So it would become expensive. I want my celary in Bit coin. Make it 100 000. Can do? - That's it. Let's go. ♫ Kolbasa made of flamingo, right from the sunny Texas! x2 Elon Musk - Elon Musk sent us some kolbasa! x2 ♫ ♫ C'mon, Sus! Chop it with kolbasa! C'mon, Sus! For our Homeland! C'mon! ♫ ♫ Hey! Kolba-kolbasa! Our with Sus kolbasa! Kolbasa is all in sand! Now that's is our meal! ♫ Now that's our meal! - At least we have a lot of bread! Hey, hold it like this! You want to clean it like this? Look, it's like a dragon... It costs 200 hrivnyas! Calm down! Don't fool around! Don't fool around! It's trash! I'm begging you! I'm begging! Let's eat, Sus! What are you doing?! - I just don't know how... - You can play already! Now you need to sing! - I don't how should I grab it better, I mean...
2021-06-15