flourish a visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being by martin seligman as always we're going to kick it off with a quote this book will help you flourish there i have finally said it i have spent my professional life avoiding unguarded promises like this one i am a research scientist and a conservative one at that the appeal of what i write comes from the fact that it is grounded in careful science statistical tests validated questionnaires thoroughly researched exercises in large representative samples in contrast to pop psychology and the bulk of self-improvement my writings are believable because of the underlying science end quote that is martin seligman from flourish martin seligman is one of the founding fathers of the positive psychology movement and this is the third note we've done on one of his books check out the notes on his other classics learned optimism and authentic happiness for more science of happiness goodness i got this book the day it was released and i highly recommend it it's an interesting and inspiring mix of personally practical scientifically grounded wisdom in an inspiring public policy call to action on what's possible in education government and business as always we're going to focus on a handful of my favorite practical big ideas stuff that we can immediately apply to our lives we'll barely scratch the surface of this great book if you're feeling it i think you'll love it so go get it for now let's jump in with the first big idea authentic happiness theory to well-being theory quote i used to think that the topic of positive psychology was happiness that the gold standard for measuring happiness was life satisfaction and that the goal of positive psychology was to increase life satisfaction i now think that the topic of positive psychology as well being that the gold standard for measuring well-being is flourishing and that the goal of positive psychology is to increase flourishing this theory which i call well-being theory is very different from authentic happiness theory and the difference requires explanation end quote an essential theme of this book is establishing the next version of positive psychology what i'll call positive psychology 2.0 whereas positive psychology 1.0 was focused on authentic happiness the title of seligman's last book positive psychology 2.0 is all about well-being in the note i have a handy dandy little chart from the book that helps us capture the difference authentic happiness theory the topic was happiness the measure was life satisfaction and the goal was to increase life satisfaction whereas with well-being theory the topic as well being the measures are positive emotion engagement meaning positive relationships and accomplishment and the goal is to increase flourishing by increasing positive emotion engagement meaning positive relationships and accomplishment check out the note for that you can actually look at it and reflect on it a little bit more but the biggest thing we need to know about the shift from authentic happiness theory to well-being theory is that we've got to keep in mind the acronym perma which leads to the next big idea perma start with a quote here then is well-being theory well-being is a construct and well-being not happiness is the topic of positive psychology well-being has five measurable elements p-e-r-m-a perma that count toward it the p is for positive emotion of which happiness and life satisfaction are all aspects the e is for engagement the r for relationships the m for meaning and the a for achievement no element defines well-being but each contributes to it end quote so as we strive to develop our well-being and flourish we want to keep perma in mind positive emotion engagement relationships meaning and achievement now let's look at some big ideas in how we can rock our perma shall we that leads us to the next big idea strengths and virtues quote in authentic happiness theory the strengths and virtues kindness social intelligence humor courage integrity and the like there are 24 of them are the supports for engagement you go into flow when your highest strengths are deployed to meet the highest challenges that come your way in well-being theory these 24 strengths underpin all five elements not just engagement deploying your highest strengths leads to more positive emotion to more meaning to more accomplishment into better relationships end quote strengths and virtues we talk about them a lot before we go any further have you taken the strengths assessment at authentichappiness.org if you only get one thing out of all these notes i'd recommend you identify your signature strengths and figure out how you can engage in them more often in your day-to-day life it's that big so get on over to authentichappiness.org and take the via survey of character strengths test you'll find that in the middle of the page you'll be in good company as you do that as over 1 million people from 200 plus countries have taken the test so far once you've taken that test come back to the pdf note and capture your signature string so i created some space you can write down your five signature strengths once you've identified those you want to schedule time over the next month when you can put those strengths into action reflect on how you can put those strengths into action the whole basis of authentic happiness was that we need to discover and use our signature strengths often that's a core component to happiness we do so in the service to something bigger than ourselves we have a truly meaningful life it's really really powerful stuff so get on that what are your five signature strengths know them and use them as you do that we'll move on to the next big idea what went well exercise quote every night for the week set aside 10 minutes before you go to sleep write down three things that went well today and why they went well you may use a journal or your computer to write about events but it is important that you have a physical record of what you wrote the three things need not be earth shaking in importance could be my husband picked up my favorite ice cream for dessert on the way home from work today or they can be important my sister just gave birth to a healthy baby boy next to each positive event answered the question why did this happen for example if you wrote that your husband picked up ice cream right because my husband is really thoughtful sometimes or because i remembered to call him from work and remind him to stop by the grocery store or if you write my sister gave birth to a healthy baby boy you might pick as the cause god was looking out for her or she did everything right during her pregnancy writing about why the positive events in your life happened may seem awkward at first but please stick with it for one week it will get easier the odds are that you will be far less depressed and you'll be happier and addicted to this exercise six months from now end quote seligman outlines a number of awesome positive psychology exercises that we scientifically know boost happiness this one's big let's get the ball rolling right now what went well today for you think about that again in the note i've got some space where you can actually write this down what went well for you today number one and why did it go well do that for two and then three things then think about doing that every day for a week i'm like five days into it right now i just read the book and i'm recording the note and i love it this is a great practice it's kind of like the journal gratitude journaling but uh on organic growth hormone or something it's just really really good stuff so try it out pretty please for now we will move on to the next big idea dealing with it quote think about abraham lincoln and winston churchill two severe depressives they were both enormously well-functioning human beings who dealt with their black dogs and their suicidal thoughts lincoln came close to killing himself in january 1841 both learned to function extremely well even when they were massively depressed so one thing that clinical psychology needs to develop in light of the heritable stubbornness of human pathologies is a psychology of dealing with it we need to tell our patients look the truth is that many days no matter how successful we are in therapy you will wake up feeling blue and thinking life is hopeless your job is not only to fight these feelings but also to live heroically functioning well even when you are very sad end quote amen to that seligman offers this wisdom in the context of sharing his own challenges with pessimism telling us that quote strong biological underpinnings predispose some of us to sadness anxiety and anger and that it is likely that these traits can quote can only be ameliorated not wholly eliminated end quote that's really important we've got to realize that for many of us me included we're never going to totally get rid of the unpleasant thoughts and feelings can you believe that someone as successful as seligman still wakes up some mornings hearing voices that tell him he's a failure and that his life is not worth living yup and as we realize the fact that those gremlins are going to be there throughout our lives our job becomes as seligman puts it quote not only to fight these feelings but also to live heroically functioning well even when you are very sad end quote it's powerful stuff reminds me of the wisdom from constructive living see those notes where david reynolds tells us quote the mature human being goes about doing what needs to be done regardless of whether that person feels great or terrible knowing that you are the kind of person with that kind of self-control brings all the satisfaction and confidence you will ever need even on days when the satisfaction and confidence just aren't there you can get the job done anyway end quote so here's to living heroically and doing what needs to be done regardless of whether we're feeling great or terrible the next big idea is called more abcs quote first students learn the abc model how beliefs be about an adversity a and not the adversity itself cause the consequent c feelings this is a point of major insight for students emotions don't follow inexorably from external events but from what you think about those events and you can actually change what you think end quote the abcs of effective living we talk about this all the time beliefs be about an adversity a and not the adversity itself caused the consequent c feelings those abcs are the first things students at a school in australia learned from seligman and his team who introduced positive education into the curriculum if you're an educator i highly recommend you get the book just to see how they integrated this wisdom into a school environment it's super inspiring back to you how are your abc's are you blaming an adversity for your emotional state or do you realize it's your beliefs about that challenge that are determining how you feel as always let's step in between stimulus and response and choose a more empowering set of beliefs about what's going on and that brings us to the next big idea character in 10 000 hours quote erickson has argued that the cornerstone of all high expertise is not god-given genius but deliberate practice the amount of time and energy you spend in deliberate practice mozart was mozart not primarily because he had a unique gift for music but because from toddlerhood he spent all his time using his gift world-class chess players are not faster of thought nor do they have unusually good memories for moves they have so much experience that they are vastly better at recognizing patterns in chess positions than lesser chess players and this comes from the sheer amount of their experience world-class piano soloists logged 10 000 hours of solo practice by age 20. in contrast to 5
000 hours for the next level of pianist and in contrast to 2000 hours for merely serious amateur pianists the prototype of deliberate practice is one of erickson's graduate students choalu who holds the guinness world record for the amazing number of pie he memorized 67 890 the advice that follows is straightforward if you want to become world-class at anything you must spend 60 hours a week on it for 10 years what determines how much time and deliberate practice a child is willing to devote to achievement nothing less than her character end quote seligman dedicates a chapter to grit character and achievement where he describes the work done by one of his students angela lee duckworth it's brilliant click in the pdf you can click on a little link to uh to watch the video of her speaking at a tedx talk or you can google grit plus duckworth plus ted to check it out it's essentially grit is essentially intense passion plus intense persistence it's the stuff greatness is made of really cool here's how seligman puts it quote if we want to maximize the achievement of children we need to promote self-discipline my favorite social psychologist roy baumeister believes it is the queen of all the virtues the strength that enables the rest of the strengths there is however an extreme trait of self-discipline grit indeed angela went on to explore a grittiness the combination of very high persistence and high passion for an objective end quote ps for more goodness on the hard work required to achieve greatness check out the notes on mindset the talent code and talent is overrated for now we'll move on to the next big idea optimus versus pessimists quote we wanted to find out who never became helpless so we looked systematically at the way that the people whom we could not make helpless interpreted bad events we found that people who believe that the cause of setbacks in their lives are temporary changeable and local do not become helpless readily in the laboratory when assailed with inescapable noise in the laboratory or with rejection and love they think it's going away quickly i can do something about it and it's just this one situation they bounce back quickly from setbacks and they do not take a setback at work home we call them optimists conversely people who habitually think it's going to last forever it's going to undermine everything and there's nothing i can do about it become helpless readily in the laboratory they do not bounce back from defeat and they take their marital problems into their jobs we call them pessimists end quote seligman wrote an entire book on the difference between optimus and pessimist called learned optimism check out those notes where he describes the relationship between learned helplessness and explanatory styles this way quote learned helplessness is the giving up reaction the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn't matter explanatory style is the manner in which you habitually explain to yourself why events happen it is the great modulator of learned helplessness an optimistic explanatory style stops helplessness whereas a pessimistic explanatory style spreads helplessness end quote the very good news is that we can learn to be optimistic seligman puts it this way quote unlike dieting learned optimism is easy to maintain once you start once you get into the habit of disputing negative beliefs your daily life will run much better and you will feel much happier end quote while sonia liberski puts it this way in her great book the how of happiness see those notes she says quote all that is required to become an optimist is to have the goal and to practice it the more you rehearse optimistic thoughts the more natural and ingrained they will become with time they will be part of you and you will have made yourself into an altogether different person end quote so here's to getting our optimism on we've got all kinds of big ideas throughout these notes on how to do it so see those ones for ideas but just know you can do it and know how important it is to shift from being a pessimist to an optimist for now we'll move on to the final big idea here measuring gdp versus well-being quote gross domestic product measures the volume of goods and services that are produced and consumed in any events that increase that volume increase the gdp it does not matter if those events happen to decrease the quality of life every time there is a divorce the gdp goes up every time two automobiles collide the gdp goes up the more people who scarf down antidepressants the more the gdp goes up more police protection and longer commutes to work raise the gdp even though they may lower the quality of life economists humorlessly call these regrettables cigarette sales and casino profits are included in the gdp some entire industries such as law psychotherapy and drugs prosper as misery increases this is not to say that lawyers psychotherapists and drug companies are bad but rather that gdp is blind when it comes to whether it is human suffering or human thriving that increases the volume of goods and services this divergence between well-being and gross domestic product can be quantified life satisfaction in the united states has been flat for 50 years even though gdp has tripled even scarier measures of ill-being have not declined as gross domestic product has increased they've gotten much worse depression rates have increased tenfold over the last 50 years in the united states this is true of every wealthy nation and importantly it is not of poor nations end quote now i included this passage here because frankly i never knew what went into the gdp calculation my hunches you might not have known the details either this is all part of a much longer chat we don't have the space to go into here but seligman concludes the book with a chapter called the politics and economics of well-being where he talks about the opportunities of positive business and the need to find a better way to keep score of how we're doing on a national and global level that combines both wealth and well-being he calls it the quote new prosperity really powerful stuff the bottom line we need to make the cultivation of well-being an integral part of every aspect of our lives and culture from business and media to government and education so here's to being the change and changing the world in the process that is a very quick look at this great book flourish by martin seligman let's take a quick look at martin's bio and then a couple other notes i think you'd enjoy if you like this one and some great quotes from the sidebar first martin seligman phd is author of the bestseller authentic happiness and learned optimism among others his work in positive psychology has been supported by the national institute of mental health in a number of other organizations he is the zellerbach family professor of psychology at the university of pennsylvania and lives near philadelphia with his family that's from the book if you enjoyed this note i think you'll also really enjoy the notes on two of his other books authentic happiness and learned optimism plus some other great positive psychology classics the how of happiness the happiness hypothesis happier and flow these quotes from the sidebar are all from seligman i believe i'll let you know if one is not he tells us but what is wealth for anyway the goal of wealth in my view is not just to produce more wealth but to engender flourishing he says we estimate that being in the upper quartile of optimism seems to have a beneficial effect on cardiovascular risk roughly equivalent to not smoking two packs of cigarettes daily it's pretty amazing we estimate that being in the upper quartile of optimism seems to have a beneficial effect on cardiovascular risk roughly equivalent to not smoking two packs of cigarettes daily i didn't go into this in the note but he goes off on the health benefits of optimism and general well-being every aspect of your health is affected by how you are feeling and how you are showing up on this perma scale of well-being get the book for more moving on he says as nietzsche tells us good philosophy always says change your life he tells us in the 19th century politics morality and psychology were all about character by some estimates depression is about 10 times more common now than it was 50 years ago self-discipline out predicts iq for academic success by a factor of two we scientists have found that doing a kindness produces the single most reliable momentary increase in well-being of any exercise we have tested here's the exercise find one wholly unexpected kind thing to do tomorrow and just do it notice what happens to your mood is there someone in your life whom you would feel comfortable phoning at four in the morning to tell your troubles to if your answer is yes you will likely live longer than someone whose answer is no that by the way is because of the r relationships in the perma equation moving on the entire thrust of this book is that optimal performance is tied to good well-being the higher the positive morale the better the performance and finally the goal of positive psychology in well-being theory is to increase the amount of flourishing in your own life and on the planet there you go that is a quick look at flourish a visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being by martin seligman i really hope you enjoyed it again think about the big idea that most resonates with you and figure out how you can bring it into your life in a practical way hope you enjoyed thanks for your support look forward to sharing more with you soon have another awesome day see ya
2023-03-25