Episode 1 The Bipolar Blender

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okay well good morning gentlemen turn the  blender on turn the blender on welcome to the   bipolar blender all of our what are they called  what are podcast people called potties potties what do you call someone that listens to a podcast  besides i do podcasts are so popular i don't i   don't think it's like that anymore you know what i  mean everybody everybody has a thing though anyway   what were you talking about the idea that you had  the for a little segment that you were talking   about the scenarios ryan's scenarios there you go  i think i think we'll that'll be later in the show   but first let's enter guest star introduce  our guests here or wait host or these people   um gentlemen go ahead take it away who are you  well i think i think it's only proper for for   you to i think whoever whoever's idea this was i  think it was your doing that kind of brought us   all together so why don't you just and keep yeah i  think also keeping in mind the fun of this will be   sort of letting things go as the show progresses  so like i don't you don't have to like you know   we don't have to i'll take it away all right if we  want to just bow our heads in a moment of prayer that's that's a great way to introduce  yourself again we just lost half the audience   um yeah let's um so the bipolar blender was a  byproduct of uh multiple decades of drug use and a   friendship that just wouldn't quit so here we are  boys you know what else i think is is also cool   that i should that i was thinking about the other  day like you know i won't obviously get into this   more in the future but the idea that you know greg  is not here but that his brother is here who's   dylan obviously i think that that i think that  that's just um i i don't want to call it poetic   because it's such a douchey thing to say but  i think it's uh it's um i don't even know what   the word for it is but it's cool it's [ __  ] cool maybe you don't use that word enough   anymore it's [ __ ] cool cool in a douchey  kind of way yeah i really i really do feel um sort of honored or whatever and  dylan and i haven't had any sort of   you know communication for for a long time so this  this will be cool to do this uh you know and to   have it be recorded maybe somebody will listen  to it and laugh at it or something i don't know   hopefully yeah all right well i'm just gonna  slightly introduce you just so people might know   who you are the guy on the top my top left  there that's chef chris purdue he owns his   own business um he's actually gonna sponsor  this show eventually he'll be one of our uh   somebody's throwing that out there you should  pay for some of this with all that chef buddy   the idea just just the simple idea  that you think that that's even like anyways everyone thank our supporter for an answer  here right there chris purdue and then we got   the amazing dirty homeless man dylan jared on  the bottom like always on the [ __ ] bottom   talented musician songwriter hung like a [ __  ] horse dylan [ __ ] jarrett i'll start rumors he's actually got a camera i'll i'll say that  the the the guy who introduced us uh that that   would be ryan uh ryan hardy uh and i you know  if if anyone's listening and and needs any kind   of context ryan and i uh have been friends since  sixth or seventh grade uh and then uh of course uh   dylan has been friends with us since about  the same time i would from memory but since   i was in like sixth or seventh grade i  met y'all yeah yeah so ryan and i met uh   in middle school uh and friended greg which didn't  happen until what i think high school right like   you and i met greg in high school um through  my brother yeah yeah which is which is which is   dylan's brother so greg me greg and ryan uh were  sort of best friends through high school and of   course being best friends with greg also means  that you're friends with his brother you know   so um you know and greg is obviously not with us  anymore um wasn't anything it wasn't anything like   you know it's not like it wasn't like a  bruckheimer film and where were you like   out in this like crazy sort of you know it's  a very unfortunate car accident um but anyway   that's just and and all this stuff will come  out i just wanted there to be some kind of   context to you know again if anyone if we get  to the point where we when we when we have a   podcast that people listen to and this is their  introduction this is the first thing you know   i uh you have to you got to grab them and  pull them in somehow i don't and just one side   note i've actually done intravenous drugs with  both of these gentlemen so yeah that's awesome that'll be the topic of a lot of things   sir i'm sure it will speaking i don't know it's  gonna help out chris business big time yeah that's   the other thing that's the other thing this  this right here might not ever even need to   as far as the visuals and like like i was saying  like i don't you know i got the business i got   i don't i don't know if this will be like  don't worry my name is my my name is and   i live here and i just hit can i come in your  home and cook food for you and your children   don't worry about it my friends don't live in  this state that's the other thing is that i you   you can't you don't have much on me because you  don't you know you you you're far away there buddy so anyway um topics man did you  boys bring topics go ahead dylan   uh i did not break whether you do not yeah i  don't whether you did or not i don't mean like   speak on it yeah no i don't have many topics  uh what'd you just last night you sack of   what what did you do last night you sack of [ __  ] that's always a great topic what do you do dylan   what are you doing right now i just i literally  just woke up ryan's call literally just woke me up   nice have you all been up for a while yeah  this is like my third cup of coffee i dealt   with a screaming four-year-old and at some  point i'm pretty sure i punched the wall   i cried for a little while yeah i don't i i i i was up at about  four because i don't i have this   wonderful affliction these days where i sleep  for like five hours possibly a little bit more   and then i wake up and i and then there's no going  back so if i go to bed at 10 i'm gonna be up at   four at the latest so anyway so i've been up for a  while and and i have you know a screaming son and   a crazy daughter you all are  in the beginning stages dude   yeah wait so that teenage year gets everyone  around yeah what's layla layla is like [ __ ]   how old is that 14 15 14 she's about  to be 15. how old were you when you   had her that's since [ __ ] 19 you were  19 yeah good god see that's not that far   from normal that's not that's not that's not like  crazy you know what i mean yeah back then i would   never have wanted to be you like when i was 19  i wanted one had a kid but now i'm almost like   god i wish i would have had a kid when i was 19  because that [ __ ] would be about out the house   we'll pretty much be over yeah it would be over  yeah you're not paying bills get the [ __ ] here   yeah um all right chris what's up what's  what's up what's on your mind today man   what's what's ruffling your feathers in the  world of [ __ ] well so this is going to be   yeah this is going to be a common theme  right and and i want to and i mean that   seriously it's funny huh but it is going to  be a common thing for me it's just how it is   um i don't necessarily anything that i bring to  the table like between the three of us is i'm not   necessarily um trying to start like a debate with  with dylan or try to start a debate with you ryan   like that's not gonna be the uh the reason for  any of this right like i'm not trying to come   in here to try to change your minds if now will i  and and have i debated it with other people yeah   of course but anyway so the stuff that i bring  to the table is i'm not i just want you guys to   i just want you to know that i'm not  trying to like you know change your mind or   or convince you of anything there's enough  people in the world whose side are you on   yeah if you don't change my mind by the end of  this podcast i [ __ ] quit i don't want my life   are you with russia or ukraine me you  asked me i don't think god who knows   but anyway no i that that that of course is a  big deal but i the the stuff that's on my the   stuff that has sort of taken over my thoughts  for pr for primarily that have been you know i   have never really been into politics i just  haven't until um you know about a year ago or   so and and there's gonna be if there's say  there's 20 people listening 19 of them are   about to roll their eyes and vomit when i tell  you what i'm going to say because they're so   tired of hearing about it but you know the the the  january 6th thing and all the stuff that surrounds   that to me is so fascinating i find it just  absolutely intriguing that um that whoever you   think it was if it was this person that a group  of people uh went to the capitol building and   wanted to go inside and and and literally were  rubbing their [ __ ] on the walls and and and wait there was feces being rubbed on walls yeah well i haven't i and again this is all from a  media that we've all grown up and not been able to   trust but but the pictures and the videos we've  all seen and that and and that's all that i'm   saying when i saw that happen i'll never forget  where i was the moment that i saw that footage   for the first time and you also got to remember i  live 20 minutes from there like that's like right   up the street from me so um it was it was it was  just jo it was just crazy to see um and so that   event and then all the [ __ ] that has surrounded  it uh since then to me is just fascinating   you know the the the stuff that led up to it the  actual event and then the stuff that's happened   after it um i just like i said i just think it's  absolutely fascinating every aspect of it i find   the idea that some people don't believe that the  people there were who they say they were there's   a big group of people and ryan and john i don't  know how much you guys know about the event and   if but i'm just gonna i'll just tell you what i've  seen and what you know so there's people you know   if if you watch the videos it's people holding  trump flags and and you could you could say   that 95 percent even more i could say that 99  percent of the people that i saw in those videos   at least um were pro donald trump pro-republican  pro-conservative and they were there   to literally try to get mike pence to overthrow  the uh the count for the electoral college   which is basically a ceremony  anyway it's not even an actual   um it's basically a show right  like it doesn't actually hold any   value or any real uh relevance anyway i mean there  were people that built they built gallows in the   field and were and were chanting hang mike pence  and there were people chanting they were inside   the capitol building chanting we're coming for  you nancy i mean like this this is his name she's the speaker of the house she's the she's  the person that she's we can talk about that later   she's a very very important person in congress  she's the one who uh what does she say when she   speaks well she slams the gavel on [ __ ] so she's  the one who's in the big room when they build   when they when they put a law or a bill and and  to actually the one that puts me in prison yeah   basically basic clock [ __ ] nancy but anyway yeah  right but anyway the point is that like that whole   event was just it was jarring to me and and um  there there's just been so much controversy that   surrounded it i i just find it fast so that and  then you know uh donald trump is obviously to me a   fascinating figure i i think that it's i think  that it's so interesting just him and his whole   being so um you know those are how is that  possible how can someone so [ __ ] stupid   get so many people [ __ ] riled up is that  you are you that's a legitimate question like   seriously every time i would like watch like that  happening i mean i don't watch the news at all   but i would see people like oh [ __ ] like trump [  __ ] jizz on my face [ __ ] knock my kids up like   [ __ ] you're the what was it what was the thing  he was like the next coming of christ at one point   like [ __ ] just at one point there's still there  he's still i mean he may be who knows i don't know   very strong and and and and in huge  parts of the country and in the world so   anyway your question your question is how does  he get elected well i think it i wasn't terribly   into it like i said i've only waited wait wait my  question is no i know how he got elected he's got   money like if you have money you can [ __ ] become  the president well yeah that's that that's a big   part of it but because you have to campaign  and that's millions and millions of dollars   yeah but a lot of these people are using super  pacs it's not necessarily allowed even to use   their own money so they're fundraisers right like  donald trump is a fundraiser that's what he is so   yeah the rich electing the rich it's not yeah  there's [ __ ] like i'm sorry your vote doesn't   matter let's just do that i love what you're what  you're saying is so right on what i find crazy is   that i've been in a conversation with having  that conversation with people for years but   then all of a sudden somehow donald trump comes  along and these people have been they think that   he's like this since he's not a politician and  since he's not a career politician he's just a   trust fund baby uh corrupt corporate businessman  that he's for some reason i'm getting off on a   tangent i don't i don't want to get into  a political deep in that [ __ ] tantrum   you know i just wanted to that's that's where my  head's at lately and um we can we can go into we   can go into uh other parts of it um if you want  but i i don't want this to become me rambling   about uh trump for 30 minutes so unless you guys  want to keep talking unless that's where you want   to go with this but did you hear about uh all  those [ __ ] fbi like the fbi infiltrated the   january six [ __ ] did you hear about that yeah  yeah yeah to help all those people get in there   yeah there's video there's videos of it it's  insane and that's what i'm saying it's fascinating   there's there's so much that goes along there's  so many the idea that that the cops were just like   letting you know what i mean like just sort of in  the beginning at least you know holding doors open   and this time the other it's it's insane it's it's  so crazy but but i tell you what the part that i   find more fascinating than anyone and the thing  that has gotten me more riled up than anything   is the absolute denial of what happened  and like you've got you've got people here   let me tell you this i'll tell you a story  this sums it all up right a guy named andrew   clyde right who was on the senate floor the  day this happened right there's video of him   barricading himself you know on the other side of  this door because these people are coming through   they they they let the people in congress know  so they're they're trying to get these people out   and they're trying to get them safe there's  video of andrew clyde he might be a georgia   congressman barricading him and himself inside  so that these people can't get to him who are   armed and you know or were trying to chanting  that they're trying to kill people whatever   there's video of him doing that he goes on record  and he's a registered republican believe it or not   he goes on record uh to talk about what happened  on january 6 and verbatim said that the people   that were there at the capitol on january 6th  were nothing more than a bunch of tourists   so it's the complete deny it's the fact that  there are there are republicans that are just   completely denying this and trying to act  like it wasn't a big deal that it was antifa   that there was all this other [ __ ] trying  to downplay it that's the part that i find   even more fascinating than anything that the idea  that there are people that are trying to say that   it didn't happen and then it was yeah yeah yeah  i i the idea that the party that's all about   accountability and all about um you know  admitting your wrongs and being a man and   standing up for what you've done is just like  blatantly denying um just just just basic facts   um it had to stop the steel they had to they had  to stop the steel and drain the swamp there's   it's it's fascinating i find the whole thing  how to do it it's just it's so interesting   to me so um you know that's it's it's well i'll  say this so like i think like as generationally   i'm i'm currently a member of a community  college where i'm learning a lot about history   in my history 101 class that's great not a big  deal it's not a big deal or anything i'm saying   yeah i'm in college but so the history of  the world like i mean every [ __ ] generation   every century every [ __ ] there's a great  war there's someone getting wiped off the   [ __ ] map there's blah blah blah like it's [ __ ]  non-stop people just kill people constantly right   so here in america like it's literally  we don't see that on american soil so the   dumbest [ __ ] can like set off like a chain  reaction because like we're blood thirsty   [ __ ] we're like our species is like literally  ingrained in violence so it can just be like the   dumbest [ __ ] thing like stop the electoral steel  like what the [ __ ] ever and people are gonna   [ __ ] they're like this is an opportunity to go  [ __ ] crazy let's go [ __ ] crazy yeah what was   that [ __ ] um what was that concert the other  day where like they wouldn't stop the crowd   and like [ __ ] yeah what'd you say what was it  grab a scott concert yeah like and the dude was   just like i've got new nikes on [ __ ] it like  let's murder these people like [ __ ] you like   zero [ __ ] given and i'm not saying  i mean [ __ ] if i was there who knows it's tragic showing those kids how to  mosh pit but anyways what i'm saying is   there we're at a stagnant  time like there's no like   people are wanting any reason and every reason to  get out there and [ __ ] do something stupid we   need to be like i mean people get stuck in their  everyday lives you know like all three of us   we all go to work for the most part [ __ ] do the  family thing and [ __ ] like you know if i was   out on the street and there was a mob people and  they were getting all riled up and [ __ ] about to   break some windows and go storm building i'd be  like [ __ ] yeah let's [ __ ] storm the capitol   like i don't even care what their  beliefs are let's [ __ ] do something   like [ __ ] i'm bored as [ __ ] you always  hear that like you always hear that like   a person is not a person that like the person  is not you have to worry about it's the group   of people that you have to worry about  you know what i mean like one big mob very real i'm telling you man it's  [ __ ] there's something in that man   once you get people in  numbers it's it's [ __ ] scary   those people like individually the ones that did  the capital ship walked up to them one-on-one be   like hey man you want to storm the capital  they'd be like oh yeah that sounds illegal   yeah it's that mob mentality is fascinating  you can put 20 000 people in the street   yeah somewhere for anything it doesn't matter  you'd be in the street writing and have no idea   what you're writing about which i assume is the  mindset that a lot of people find themselves in   yeah and then you get a loot stuff and like steel  [ __ ] tvs and [ __ ] microwaves and blenders everybody needs a blender and now that i've talked  [ __ ] for a few hey hold on do you have a maybe   we'll edit this out do you have a timer that  shows you how much more time you have before   it goes off uh we've gone we've gone 10 minutes  and then i can just start another meeting it's   just we can just go back into the next meeting  or whatever i'll have an hour so at about 11   we'll have to but anyway i was just i just didn't  want to like cut off in the middle of something no   if it keeps us out that we can um that's  where that's where my mind has been that's   that's my i'm sure my wife is terribly tired of  hearing all about it and yada yada so um anyway someone else if you tell your wife if she's tired  of hearing you she can call me and i'll [ __ ]   rhetoric to [ __ ] listen to you're disturbing  you're a disturbing person i am i'm very [ __ ]   [ __ ] no so ryan what's your uh were you what am  i doing you guys want to pause and talk about our   sponsors no we're where where have your thoughts  been well ninja blenders is actually sponsoring   we need a blender [ __ ] sponsor perfect it's  a good idea you guys ever [ __ ] used a ninja   they're amazing ninjas are [  __ ] vitamin a vitamix is like   a vitamix is basically a restaurant  grade ninja so go [ __ ] yourself we have new ones if you want to talk about  you want to talk about restaurant equipment   with me is that really where you want  to go you want to come with me bro i'll go get my brochures i have them i got a  kitchenaid in my pants right now beating my nuts   around no but seriously where what's uh what's  the deal what are you where are your thoughts   okay well um y'all don't want to do ryan's  scenarios should i play a game oh yeah at the end   of this we need to vote who said the most white  privileged thing you've heard on the show today   sweet that's another segment that you're talking  about yeah that's yeah at the very end of the show   we all get one vote and we get a vote which one  said the most white privileged thing you've heard   all day i don't know that because then you just  have to come up with something i don't want to see   no no you gotta take notes during the show i've  already listed no i know but you should have said   this at the beginning of the show because i would  have known that i was like it's ryan because he's   in college i'm making i'll make notes perfect  dylan that was it right there your your rant   about college was the most white privileged [ __ ]  i've ever heard wait wait i want to vote chris on   that because his his excuse of i just don't know  that's the most white privileged [ __ ] i've ever   just now you're like i didn't know the show  was starting you didn't tell me about it   i was uninformed no one told me why we don't  this is why we don't listen to all your   [ __ ] ideas because they just turn into this like  snowballing [ __ ] that never stops and it just   that's a blender of ideas if you will no  seriously what where's your what's okay so okay   scenario time guys all right you all ready for the  scenario of the day sure close your eyes everyone   close their eyes jesus feeling your eyes are  open shut your [ __ ] eyes and stop looking at me   okay so i want you to picture this so you're you  you're born a man right picture your genitalia   cocking balls hanging there right jesus  you grow up throughout your whole life   and then you're like i have a penis it is what it  is but then you start hearing all this stuff about   you know my identity and who i am who i feel  like i am are you feeling it you questioning   yourself yet yeah i'm touching myself touching  and questioning everyone questioning and   touching themselves so you've decided to  go ahead and get the gender reassignment   this is you guys doing this now right this  isn't me this is you guys doing this you're   getting your gender reassignment procedure done  right okay side note you're also on the swim team   all right and as a male you didn't  do so good on the swim team right   you go through the surgery you get the estrogen  you get all the treatments and everything   you start contending in the women's  swimming team and you're killing it   you're smoking all the women how do you  feel about yourself are you cheating or do you feel like you identify as a woman  therefore you should be able to be white   wait this me it said the meeting  no longer has a time limit   oh it's not oh cool yeah we're good okay well  so who's gonna do you gonna go first dylan i   split mine like a hot dog dude i just split  it oh we already do it yeah all right well uh   you have a vagina and you're on the swim  team and you're literally killing it now   i would not feel good no you think that's you  no here's the thing hold on let me say the ques   you gotta do you had to frame your question a  different way if i've already cut my [ __ ] off   and i'm swimming as a woman i obviously feel  good about it the question is is it is it morally   acceptable the question is do you feel good about  beating the other women of course if you've gone   through the process of course you feel good  about that yeah i mean yeah i'm good with that i don't feel like that question  is this the question is   should a person be able to have gender  reassignment surgery and then compete in the other   in the other uh category of sports no but  you're missing the point these are our scenarios   it's not a question the literal but the literal  answer to the question is of course i feel good   about it have you ever go see the whole moral  thing doesn't really stand up then does it like   reality that's a great point that's a great  point that's absolutely a great point that that   what other people think shouldn't matter but what  i'm saying is that the way you frame the question   is all i'm saying is that the literal answer  the question has to be that they feel good   about it because they've if you here's the deal  let me say this if you've gone through jennifer   hold on here's another question if you've gone  through gender reassignment surgery had your   [ __ ] cut off are competing in the opposite sport  and you win and you feel bad about it what the   [ __ ] does that mean that's the that's the like  what like why would you feel bad about it maybe   i'm saying that right like you're  winning you're [ __ ] winning so   that's my i'm on that scenario that i've  lived through multiple times in the shower   where i tuck it between my legs and i'm like am  i swimming like seriously i'm like in the gold   medals around my neck and i'm like [ __ ] [ __  ] you [ __ ] what you [ __ ] gotta say about it   let me let me say this and this is something that  will obviously be edited out but if we're gonna   this is great this is great but what i'm saying  is that you've got to realize that if you go about   this stuff a certain way that you're and and who  cares if you do you don't care whatever you're   gonna you're going to not necessarily piss off  people but if you go about things in a certain   way you're going to alienate a massive amount of  people because you're going to come off or you're   going to seem like you're a racist or a bigot or  blah blah blah so i i i'm just i'm just putting   that out there it's a practical way of thinking  of things so what does racism have to do with   gender reassignment i'm i'm just  i'm just speaking in general terms   i'm just saying because only white people can  afford to cut their dicks off there you go yeah   you can turn anything into a racial into a racial  that's racially charged i'm just i'm being serious   i'm not i'm not being a jackass i'm just saying  that just just to to think about it you know   people get offended by everything and i  don't care about offending people but if   we're trying to get this out and trying  to get a lot of people to listen to it   you know it just might be something you want  to think about okay you know i'm clear so   your vote chris was i feel good about myself  competing as a woman in the women's swim team   i hold on hold on how does the  song go is there a song it's like   i'm so excited and i can't yada yada  yes i feel great about it it's fantastic um what about you dylan we gotta get rid of   [ __ ] women's sports have you  ever watched it it's awesome this is how we do it boys this is how we do it   that's dylan that's perfect i that  was perfect that was absolutely um right [ __ ] down yeah i'll cut my  dick off right now it's so boring we don't have a whole lot going  on i can i can make that happen   well i definitely think now dylan's in the  top running for the most white privilege   thing by saying only white people have  the money to afford to cut their dicks off oh god that's a that's rich that's  rich white people white people rich um okay so we've covered july six wait no was  that july january february was that this year god damn life is flying by that was 2022 wasn't it or was it 2021 that  happened 2020 yeah 2020. that was three years ago   two no it was two what day is this it was 20  21 the daylight savings happened already what   happened right it was 2020 2021 right 2021 yeah  okay i was about to say nothing really happened in   2020 that's worth any noting right yeah there's  nothing nothing at all for like months dude   yeah choice was just pretty  much uh no nothing to note there and then yeah gender reassignment  so you guys are all for it huh   yeah i love it so when your  kids come to you and say hey i'm already [ __ ] i'm already  giving her testosterone every day   dude they're already letting people it's already  happening okay all all right good deal i'm glad   we're so open if you're under 18 the parents  are like i've heard so many stories unbelievable   stories about parents letting children have  surgeries and stuffed eyes yeah it's nuts dude   who's really parenting who who who who who  who swings the balls in the family after this   we learn so much from our children  the gift that keeps on giving   insert cliche here your whole life is a  cliche i'm a fake fraud i'm a [ __ ] fraud i don't know how to podcast what's your  what's your deal dylan oh man what kind of   burritos are they making today dude we got  specials we got deconstructed asian tacos   it's amazing where are you at uh some little  [ __ ] called tierra oh i shouldn't say it you want death threats no that's  cool that's uh that's good i miss working in a restaurant a lot  i think it's the kind of thing where i   miss it but i don't think i'd be able to do  it again but i do miss it it's a lot of fun   what this is actually the drugs  yeah there's lots of boozes yeah i try i tried to go back  to the restaurant after i gots over [ __ ] couldn't do it it wasn't anywhere near  what it was when i was [ __ ] up like   i i ended up being i ended up being a lot better  when i got when i got out of that and i went   and started working in tennessee like i've i've  never been that successful in a restaurant ever   yeah i i definitely i went back and it was just  like the most [ __ ] hood restaurant i've ever   worked at like i worked in atlanta and restaurants  maybe that's like the one that i worked out here   in tuscaloosa i literally saw like i'm not [ __  ] you at least five fist fights in the six months   that i worked there and like multiple like [ __ ]  death threats are the customers employees fellow   cooks dude was walking down the line on a friday  night [ __ ] you not with a tech nine showing his   friends look what i just [ __ ] picked up  i was like that's a [ __ ] uzi bro that's   a [ __ ] like i mean that's i mean literally  you could kill everyone on this line with that it was some [ __ ] like out of [ __ ] was that a   [ __ ] not eastbound and down  [ __ ] straight out of compton like check out my [ __ ] assault rifle that's  incredible that was i mean i was aroused but but yeah it was a small line too like you  know it was like very close together so like   we had to like pass each other and the gunman  kind of stuck me in the hip and i was like oh but yeah like i said that's a that was that was  that's here in like tuscaloosa bum [ __ ] alabama   yeah like people have manners in atlanta  they'll leave the future in the parking lot   you know i mean like [ __ ] god damn i'm trying  to [ __ ] cook your steak mid-rare when you don't   even [ __ ] know what mid-rare is it's like oh  this is [ __ ] undercooked no [ __ ] mid-rare   man it's a [ __ ] red bloody center deck of [ __  ] like i've got my thermometer right [ __ ] here that sounds like so much fun same medium  [ __ ] say you want a [ __ ] medium   that's great so how do you how far away  do you live from brandon do you know   um brandon is like like geography-wise  probably like i don't know an hour away from me   that's mentally mentally i probably  live in a different galaxy than brandon   and what you told me that's great well  that's definitely going to have to be i'm not   i will say this i love brandon and i uh have  very different opinions on the stuff like that   i was that i mentioned about you know january  6th and trump and stuff yeah the the the the   great thing and i'm being dead serious when i  say this is that brandon and i are on different   worlds politically but like we still have great  conversations um oh i love meeting brandon i love   me from brandon dude but i just mean it's  been a positive experience for me because   but i will say this some of the stuff that he's  some stuff he says i've seen it's like wow like   it's you know but but i digress because  you know nobody's nobody's yeah let's talk   [ __ ] about dylan what are you doing yeah all  right so all right so we got a little bit of   time right since we're not on time meeting  anymore yeah we got i got about 15 minutes   i'm responsible um okay so show of  hands who's been laid in the last week there's not sex in a week no no lord did you have no idea what it's like to have a  [ __ ] one-year-old that running around that   cannot it's it's not it's not i'll say this  it's not due to any like underlying reason   we just literally don't have 30 seconds to  be away from our children it's 30 seconds all right well okay hold up in the last two  months oh yeah i know i that i oh totally yeah   like i said there's no underlying weird  thing going on in my house aside from the   fact that my son won't leave me alone  for chris there are so many underlying   weird things happening in your house but  not none none that prevents clearance   oh [ __ ] all right i gotta take your cut  to the point how long has it been dylan   give me a day over two years  hear that ladies hear that ladies   yeah this man needs you i did make out with  a chick with herpes a couple months ago that'll hold you over right i mean  that's enough to you know yeah generally uh i think she said both so he she actually told you yeah but that'd be   good at least you're not half-assing anything  that's that's yeah man when the opportunity's hot what's that restaurant life man herpes burritos  adderall lots of lots of shitty cocaine yeah   yeah how did lime come from they all line cooks  like always just have to [ __ ] it's like it's   no matter what they have it but it's just always  like shitty shitty drugs i don't know i don't know   tangent but yeah yes the busboys that's where  the [ __ ] drugs are man you [ __ ] want some   good drugs i'll the only reason why i was  able to do anything decent after i got out   of treatment was because the restaurant that  i went to still to this day was the cleanest   kitchen i've ever been in like i mean there were  a few kids that like smoked weed maybe drank a   couple beers after work but like there was none  of that and it was it was i was very surprised   very surprised yeah so the new generation  is all about adderall well i mean ryan and   ryan and i said the old generation is all about  adorable dude ryan and i used to literally shoot   shoot oxycontin in the basement of the restaurant  that i worked that we worked at and we would go   back upstairs and work we would choose like we  did that [ __ ] like every day for a long time   i've prescribed adderall by that  doctor you introduced me to dylan   adderall and [ __ ] xanax who prescribes  adderall and xanax to somebody he was indian he was an indian man he  couldn't even speak english barely he   wears flip-flops like every day it's insane   yeah i'd go in there just like completely  like [ __ ] like face melted off my skull   this was strictly a like under the table operation  like you didn't he didn't prescribe them 100 bucks   and you got your month like you're [ __ ] just  opening it would he give you whatever you want   they're all [ __ ] to tell you  jackpot that doesn't mean that so lucky that i never got into that like scenario  like pill mill type thing i never i don't know why   but i never never made that show people blame  trump but i think when the fda cracked down on   oxycontin that's when america really i don't  think people blame trump i'll say this i have   a lot of debate i've never heard anyone blame  the opioid crisis on [ __ ] trump that's great the decline the decline of  america was because of trump   i'm saying it's because they didn't let the  opioid pain just play out you know like anybody free markets free anybody [ __ ] it uh so anyways yeah um we'll just want  to uh we'll see here we're about well we got   nine minutes i think that it's on on a serious  note we're gonna have to figure out a way to not   talk over each other yeah i like those things  in there we gotta get those zingers in there   yeah no i just yeah i mean like with with other  kinds of audio but i mean like if you like the   podcast that i listen to where there's more  than or or even better the the the videos on   youtube that i watch because i watch i watch a  lot of podcasts on youtube if that makes sense   and and and that's different because they're  sitting in front of each other right and they know   that they're not they don't have to so but for us  to be on zoom we're going to have to figure out um   i don't i don't know i don't know how that  works um one thing will help is a good [ __ ] um   wi-fi connection that'll like prevent lagging  well also if we if we're if we're all wearing   headphones and i'll have a microphone doesn't it  like it like yeah it's good phone so it doesn't   it feeds directly into your microphone and  then into your uh earphones so there's no it   deletes the problem from the actual recording  device on the laptop yeah so that'll help um   so like i said when uh when your private chef  industry starts financing this [ __ ] titanic we will uh we'll set sail baby well the only  reason why i did any of that is just to make   it easier to pay taxes i don't i'm not trying to  you have to remember like i can't i'm trying to   grow grow a business like there's no i can only  get i only do so much i don't i'm not gonna like   well now you're insured too so like if you burn  someone's house down you can be like oh well   well i've always had insurance i've  always had liability insurance but   anyway i did this so that i can just like have  someone pay my company and the money goes in and   gets the taxes taken out of it immediately like  that's that's my goal is so i don't have to like   10.99 my [ __ ] or like pay quarterly taxes i  want to figure out a way to where i can just   have it i don't even know if that's possible  i don't know if you can do that or if it just   the most white privileged thing ever i don't  want to pay my taxes yeah dude you win i agree   i want a way to not pay taxes hey what are you hitting  there chris what's that a hide   no it's an air bar lux i have i have my i have an  actual but i don't have the the coils are in the   mail so i have to go buy one of these pieces  dylan what you smoking these days new ports   100 he's smoking in the house dude he's smoking  newport 100 in the house jeff and i lead i mean   what happened dude i love your parents i swear  to god i love you i love both of your parents   they have to deal with so much it's insane  there's a lot more that i'm gonna have to   deal with because i attached your [ __ ]  address to this [ __ ] podcast oh yeah hey on a serious note how would you guys  as far as like putting something out   would you want to just put start  putting the videos they should on   youtube or do you want to isolate the  audio and try to find a way to do that   um well we can do both ways um you understand  if we're gonna if we're gonna put it online   like i don't i would i would like to get to  what what i think would be cool is it's like   if i'm talking to you say i'm talking to you guys  about january 6th or whatever so you guys can see   i can just pull audio i can just pull articles  up and you guys can see what i'm talking about   well yeah you're talking about sharing your screen  yeah so i i mean i'm doing this on my phone now   but i guess when i do it on the computer it'll  probably be easier to figure out how to do that   real [ __ ] solution this is both of you guys  move to [ __ ] alabama and live in my kids um no yeah we can i mean we can do all that dude   like we're just we're just  getting [ __ ] started man don't [ __ ] cut me off seriously i'm dead serious man we'll [ __ ] get  there but i mean let's talk about that cover art i can't i can't see that oh  when you sent me a picture   the other day i cut your [ __ ] faces  out it glued him to a piece of paper i'm working really [ __ ] hard over  here guys no one [ __ ] appreciates me i thought it was good though like that  could be like the [ __ ] that idea you know   our [ __ ] dumb childhood faces posted on  three people's bodies going into a blender   i put [ __ ] those skulls greg actually drew  yeah that's yeah all that [ __ ] so he's like   incorporated into it and then [ __ ] i mean  you know i thought i'm in college you know got an art scholarship not a big deal   oh my god oh yeah we do that i mean then you  can [ __ ] we'll set it up to where you can   like click on the link using my picture that  i made it's a bipolar blender and then it can   be either like if you do it on youtube you can  have the [ __ ] footage of all this [ __ ] or   i don't know if you guys are familiar with patreon  or not i don't know if you guys know what patreon   is but patreon and like you can you can you  can se patreon is a website where we could   go we could put our podcast on patreon and people  could donate to it if they wanted to and like if   say somebody donates if somebody donates  have different levels of like membership so   if somebody donates five bucks they get like early  access to whatever they get behind the scenes or   whatever or people can just don't know what you're  talking about yeah because a podcast i listen to   has they do they do that thing same thing and then  they do like their shout outs to their patreons   yeah they pretty much all do that they all  do nowadays um but if you're a patreon to   this podcast you get [ __ ] nothing except  for the sweet sweet taste of the three of us all right well it's 11 o'clock dude  i got i got a lot of [ __ ] to do   he's an important man everybody it's important all right so wait we will give the  patreons one free meal cooked by   chef christopher perdue come on out come on come  come on that's what you get five dollars donate all right keep on keep it live and also  we'll we'll talk later [ __ ] you all

2022-04-22

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