- Howdy! - Yeah! - Many inventions help us live more comfortable, safer, easier lives, but there are also inventions out there on the other side of that scale. Inventions so astronomically pointless or disastrous that it boggles the mind how someone could waste money on them. Items that just make you think, why? - Why? - [Josh] Why would anyone want to create this? - What was the point of all that? - So let's check out the 10 stupidest items ever made. And in case anyone who invented these is watching, just a reminder, I'm only criticizing these items, and certainly not you as a person. Don't let me stop your creative flow, I hope you keep inventing and keep improving.
We're all just here to have some fun talking about some silly inventions. And just a heads-up, I'm opening a small membership community, in case that is something that might interest you. - Well, I guess it beats the Cabbage Club.
- But if it isn't, don't worry, my goal is to make the memberships completely non-intrusive to the channel. I'll still be offering top lists to everyone, as I always have. I'll just be offering some livestream badges and more casual videos for whoever would like to join. Anyway, let's begin. And starting with number 10, diet water. - What? - Diet water.
Really? Do you ever meet one of those individuals and just think to yourself, sir or ma'am, you're not too bright? And while intelligence isn't everything, I do think when I see people buying diet water, well, you're not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you? Now particularly in the last 20 years, I have seen some really dumb dietary decisions, like a completely sugar-free diet, completely fat-free. Why do you need a gluten-free diet if you do not have celiac disease? - If you don't have gluten sensitivity, and you don't have celiac disease, you don't need to be on a gluten-free diet, it may make you gain weight. - 0.9% Of the population have celiac, why would...? Anyway, but this right here, this is a new level of stupids. Like how does someone who buys this figure out how to cross the street? Supposedly this drink was launched a few years ago, but I found an article in 2022 that I actually think was trying to sell fitness junkies on this.
So you might be asking, how is diet water different to water? That's a very valid question. This article claims that diet water contains a special type of peptide bond that targets fat cells via the bloodstream. Do you have any clinical trials or empirical studies to validate this claim? - No.
- The surprising part is though is that Sapporo Diet Water had quite the popularity trend for awhile. This article asked the valid question, does it work? Luckily they pointed out that diet water will only work if you also diet and exercise. Huh, I wonder if they get the same results just having regular tap water. Tap water, Jeebus forbid. Just because you pay a thousand times more for bottled water than tap water, that doesn't mean it's any cleaner or healthier.
Chances are a company is just selling a bottle because they can. However, there is a lack of presence for Sapporo Diet Water nowadays, so I'm hoping people wisened up and stop buying this. However, you are not gonna believe this because I discovered a newer version of diet water. It is known as gluten-free diet water. - What? - This is just oppressing me, man. A 12 pack of gluten-free diet water was $15, and was available as of me researching this video.
So whoever is actually buying these, maybe put your wallet away and turn on the tap. And what stupid item have we got for number nine? The pet's petter. - What does it do? - Well, pet your dog. - Oh, brilliant. After all, why on earth would you want to touch your pet? Ooh, it's all furry and cute. Ugh! I just bought a pet because I get so much pleasure out of just cleaning up its poop.
Yeah, because that's the real reward of pet ownership. - How did you capture a cloud? - Luckily you don't have to pet your pet anymore because this PetPetter will pet him for you. They even advertise this on the front of the box like they're genuinely proud of this decision. It literally says on the front of the box, "Never touch your pet again!" Oh boy, I can just look at my pets.
That's a relief. - [Woman] (mumbles) really I love you. - Hey, we got the idea. Can you turn it off? - I feel so bad for anyone who bought this, like they must be a sadist who wants to give themselves no joy in life. They're willing to accept the misery of cleaning up the cat hair off their couch, but they refuse to let themselves actually pet a cat. No, that would be going too far.
Ugh, who'd wanna touch that filthy thing? You don't even know where it's been. Oh, wait! Yes, you do. It's been in your house all day because it's your fricking cat.
What I found interesting was how the synopsis put it. Let's be honest, we don't always have the spare time to pet our pets due to the hectic routine. We have time to browse the internet and check our phone every five seconds, but we don't have time to pet our pets. - Urrrhh! - Hmm, love. - Jerr! - Aiah! - How could we stop to actually use our hands on a pet? Travesty, the PetPetter itself is a mobile arm with a soft sponge-like tip that can pet up to 85 pets per minutes.
Oh boy! The efficiency of me petting my cat has never been greater. (laughs) Do they think they'd more efficiently feel joy and emotion that way? I don't know. The arm rapidly moves up and down or sideways to give your pet the sensation of being stroked by a real human hand, or you could be weird like me and just use your hands. I love the look of the creator of this PetPetter because his face just kind of says it all. - What does it do? - Well, pet your dog.
- You've invented a hand, hand- - A perfect pet petter. - He even made a bumper sticker for the PetPetter, that is one of the most hilariously passive aggressive statements I've ever heard. "I love my pet. I just won't touch it."
(laughs) Who would want to advertise that? Touch is fundamental to humanity. I hope a day never comes in your life where you want to get a PetPetter. It's nothing sadder than the image of, as someone having a PetPetter and (laughs) uses horrible mechanical arm to pet (laughs) their pets, it's terrible. - The time that you spent doing this, probably would have been better spent with your dog, and I'm gonna have to say no on this. - And for number eight, NoPhone.
I like the idea of this, the reason behind the NoPhone. And it does make people think of the over-reliance and use of the smartphone, but the execution itself is pretty stupid. And the sad part is the NoPhone could actually be really revolutionary, but right now it's just a $10 piece of plastic that does nothing, except it's shaped like a phone. ♪ Brick by brick and brick by brick ♪ ♪ Brick by brick and brick by brick ♪ - It's fun. - Yes, smartphones can be the source of us losing interest in everything happening around us because then many computers that can practically do anything we want them to do, but they can also help us get out of a sketchy place in the city, call the police or guide us with a map out of being lost.
And when we feel like garbage, they can let us call a friend. They keep us connected, and the NoPhone tosses all of that out, and just throws us from one extreme to the other. It's like reverting to zero electricity because you think you play too much Minecraft. There's a big jump.
Why don't use a NoPhone to meet us somewhere in the middle, like with a light phone? A phone designed for good mental health and minimal use. If we have a phone that just does the essentials again, we can instead put our phone down and start chatting with our friend to the table again, or simply saying nothing and just enjoying the ambience for a moment. Maybe even allowing ourselves to be bored sometimes, but we could still have access to navigation and safety and such.
We could still be connected, but preserve our mental health from social media feeds. - And in case there are still a couple of features that you just simply cannot live without on Android, there are still some very good options for you as well. There do exists several Android phones that are geared towards minimalists. And one that I personally really find intriguing was something called the Jelly Phone by Unihertz. If you're looking for a smartphone, that's still fully feature with Android, that won't distract you quite as much as a regular smartphone nowadays, this could also be a very good option for you.
- And it's worth saying, even if I feel though NoPhone is a stupid idea, I think it's creators, Van Gould and Chris Sheldon, are on the right track. And these two are sending a powerful message, and that is certainly not stupid. If you're interested in a more functional version of this phone, maybe check out the light phone. Or as my editor, Cohen, recommended, the Jelly Phone might be a good in between option. - We believe that a downgrade of technology will ultimately lead to an upgrade for humanity. - And coming in at number seven, the Virtual Boy.
You know what's cool, virtual reality. You know what's not cool, a bulky, giant head brace that strains your neck and streams red lights into your eyes. With the breakthrough technology of monochrome, the Virtual Boy can give you any color you want, any color you want, just so long as it's red. The Virtual Boy is an astonishing anomaly, and that everything it did, it did wrong and badly.
It was very ambitious of Nintendo to attempt 3D, but you actually have to have 3D in your game to be considered 3D. When they say 3D, they mean these garish, monochrome, black and red games that give you a headache. I'm serious. The Virtual Boy has a warning that playing too long can give you a headache, which is always good.
- [Man] By the time I'd finished this first game, I could already feel my eyes straining to focus on the red and black displays. - In fact, the Virtual Boy was such a disaster that only 22 games were made. And out of it the only one with a good reputation was Virtual Boy Wario. The greatest tragedy for Wario on the Virtual Boy, well, it was on the Virtual Boy. Games like Mario and Virtual Tennis existed, and if you'd like a giant red monochrome ball thrown at your face, well, this is exactly what you'll get here.
Supposedly the Virtual Boy was intended to be a portable system, but how the bajebus are you gonna play this on the train or a bus stop? How are you even meant to carry it in a bag? So we've established its not portable at all. Is it at least comfortable? Well, you have to stick your head in what looks like a neck brace and push against the eyepiece that kind of sort of lets you see the red and black display. Even the nerd tried literally taping it to his head, and he still couldn't comfortably play it. - [Man] Let's think about this, this must be one of the worst designs for any invention in history.
- And believe it or not, this was made four years after the Super Nintendo. So there's certainly no technological excuse for this. So how things go so disastrously wrong in development that we ended up with this thing? Well, development of the Virtual Boy was plagued with issues. Development went on for four years, and it focused around Nintendo using a stereoscopic LED eyepiece technology. Nintendo was so set on making the Virtual Boy a household name, they built an entire factory in China, specifically for making Virtual Boys, but over the years the technology was downscaled due to the cost just getting too high. - [Woman] Virtual Boy is so advanced, it can't be viewed on conventional TV or LCD screens.
- Plus there were health concerns about the Virtual Boy's stereoscopic technology. Well, that's not good. They had to downscale their console because it was getting too dangerous. Apparently another big issue was Nintendo's lead game designer, Shigeru Miyamoto, had little to no involvement with the Virtual Boy's software.
But do you really need the help of Shigeru Miyamoto to realize that Virtual Boy is a stupid idea? Either way, the Virtual Boy was put on the market in an unfinished state because Nintendo wanted to focus their attention on the Nintendo 64. And if you happen to buy a Virtual Boy, I guess Nintendo thought that was just your problem. Sorry, no refunds! But I guess the good news of it was, Nintendo instead focus their attention on the Nintendo 64, and that remains a phenomenal console that changed the gaming landscape forever.
But the Virtual Boy was such an astounding failure that they pulled it from shelves after less than a year. Why has Virtual Reality taken so many years to reach gaming? Well, the terrible design and failure of the Virtual Boy may be one of the primary reasons because what consumer will wanna touch virtual reality after the red and black head brace disaster that was Virtual Boy? I have met fans of the craziest gaming systems, but I have never met a fan of the Virtual Boy. If you are, I would be fascinated to know in the comments what it is you liked about it.
And for number six, the AVCEN Jetpod, a flying car. Sure, that's a great idea. A flying car that crashes on its first flight and kills its inventor. Well, that's a tragically stupid idea right there.
Now I should mention this means no ill will to the Jetpod's inventor, Michael. I don't mean to say he was stupid at all. Quite the contrary, he was no doubt a brilliant man, and he dedicated years of his life to this invention. This is a stupid invention, specifically because it took the life of its own creator. And my deepest respects go to him and his family. In fact, the Jetpod could have been the revolution we needed to create flying taxis.
Over the decades, there have been many attempts at creating flying cars. There was also the AVE Mizar or the Dymaxion flying car, but part of what made the Jetpod promising was it could take off within 125 meters. It was apparently gonna reach up to 550 kilometers an hour, and it was apparently gonna do all this while being whisper-quiet. It can basically function like a flying car.
In fact they gave the Jetpod a label. - The Jetpod is a very quiet, short take-off and landing aircraft, well, what we have termed VQ-STOL for short. - You named it STOL, the VQ-STOL. I'm sure the intention of that name was really good, but that is a really unfortunate name. So basically the Jetpod did take to the skies, but tragically its creator, Michael, decided to test drive it rather than control it remotely.
Michael wanted the Jetpod to be a revolution in aviation that changed the way we commuted forever, but sadly the Jetpod lost both, its reputation and its founder in a single test flight. Michael tried to take the Jetpod off three times, but three times it failed. But I guess he was so fixated on starting the plane that those three failures weren't enough warning for him to get out of there. And sadly, the fourth time it did take off only for the VQ-STOL to stall and crash. Personally, I hope that Michael's daughter and Michael's friends don't give up on making the Jetpod work because even if it's a disastrous invention now, with a little more work this could be a revolutionary invention. And for stupid item number five, CarLashes.
- [Woman] CarLashes are for any woman who is looking to add a little glamor or just plain fun to their girly ride. - Ugh! This is one of those special types of infomercials that makes me feel like vomiting while watching it. Surely.
Surely automobiles are fine without eyelashes. Apparently these car eyelashes fit right over the headlights. They come in sparkly, chrome, ombre and iridescence. They're actually surprisingly easy to get ahold of with all the online stores that sell them. I mean, really that's giving a car personality, but surely there reaches a point where you have to say to yourself, maybe I shouldn't impede my headlight's visibility, just so I can express my individuality. I wouldn't mind if it was just a bumper sticker that didn't cause safety concerns, but these are just massive eyesores covering your headlights, and they're freaking terrifying to boot.
- [Woman] If you've noticed someone smiling at you, could it be your car's eyelashes? - I'd be more concerned if someone didn't notice the giant, creepy eyelashes jutting from your car. Now maybe I'm thinking a bit outside the box here, but just maybe we should be encouraging drivers to focus less on CarLashes and more on the road, we literally have every other moment in time outside to express our personality in some way. People can express their personality in the toilet cubicle for all I care, but just while we're driving, couldn't we try and keep the driver's eyes on the road, so we can not crash. I feel like if I saw these creepy things barreling down the road, I'd be frozen in terror. - I wasn't sure about them at first, but with all the smiles and thumbs up I get, I love it. - The rest of the time though, she gets horrified yells of terror, and people turning around and driving the other direction as quickly as possible.
Apparently the goal of CarLashes is to create the illusion of flirty eyes. And I guess that's kind of a cuting concept, but in execution I feel like there are legitimate danger to impeding headlights and scaring the bajebus outta drivers. - Even if you're looking at CarLashes and saying, "Oh my goodness, this product is ridiculous. Why does it exist? I don't get it."
- Huh, that's funny. That was exactly what I was saying. I guess she showed me.
- [Woman] It makes them smile, and when they're having a bad day, they know that they have their CarLashes. - Ma'am, if I saw these on my car after I had a bad day, I think I'd go into questioning over the maddening terror that my life has become. I review SpongeBob for a living, and now I've reached the point where I have eyelashes on my car. I think I need to talk to a therapist. And for our fourth significantly stupid item, the Potty Putter, a.k.a. toilet golf.
Just a warning ahead, in this segment I will be making reference to the greatest taboo in all of science: Poop. (caricatures laugh) But I will, of course, keep it in as good taste as possible. While sitting on the toilet, doing your business, do you ever get bored? While you're there, do you ever wish there was something else to do? I mean, you could read a magazine, read a book, play your 3DS, or Jeebus forbid that not do anything for a moment, and actually just collect your thoughts. Frankly, doing just about anything else on the can seems like a better idea than this thing. - [M] The amazing new toilet time golf game that lets you practice your putting on the potty.
- Say hello to toilet golf because apparently now we have to make even depositing on the Jeavon a tedious, frustrating experience. Nowadays I feel like delivering our daily bacteria to the latrine is one of the few times we do stop to think. So if you go to Taco Bell, you spend a lot of time thinking. (laughs) Ah! Anyway, if you are one of the 0.0001% of people who actually find golf interesting, and you're one of the 0.0001% of people who enjoy the idea of golfing while visiting the outhouse, then congratulations, you are a universal anomaly on the scale of the big bang.
And someone made a weird toilet activity for you, even then I think most golfers are experienced enough that this short dumper course would probably bore them to tears. And if you have longer legs like me, chances are your legs will get in the way of your shot, anyway. And even, even then, unless true disaster is struck, I think most people only spend a few minutes on the toilet. Is that really enough time for a decent game of golf? I don't know, I don't play golf. Why didn't you just go home? That's your home.
Are you too good for your home? So in all seriousness, if you actually did have one of these or one of your friends did and they actually did putt whiles squatting, I would be really curious to know. And for our third puzzlingly stupid item, Pizza Hut, the perfume, a.k.a. (speaks in foreign language) or the Pizza Hut. - Aha, Bon Jovi! - As Katie Puckrik pointed out, there are many reasons someone might wanna wear some perfume, maybe to add some flair to their attire, maybe to inspire a little interest. But how many married couples have honestly said, "Ah, I remember the day we first met, I knew they were the one when I realized they smelled like a greasy pizza shop."
- [M] Yes, the good people of the think tank known as Pizza Hut Canada have come up with a limited edition run of Pizza Hut perfume. - Pizza Hut presented this little anomaly of existence, and no surprise a pizza box. In fact, the Pizza Hut came in a red velvet cotton. So what went so horribly wrong in our society that we now have a Pizza Hut cologne in existence? Well, Pizza Hut Canada asked on their Facebook page, if people like the smell of a freshly opened pizza box? And, well, who doesn't? I mean, unless you hate pizza.
Anyway, lots of people said, they love the smell of an open pizza box. So Pizza Hut Canada translated this into meaning that society wants a Pizza Hut perfume. And lo and behold, we now both witness this tragic moment for humanity. - You're gonna walk around smelling like pizza for the rest of the day, you're okay with it? - Yeah, I kinda like it, it's not so bad. - Surely Pizza Hut can understand, just because I like pizza and love my significant other, that doesn't necessarily mean I want her to smell like pizza. "We both worked for Pizza Hut for many years, and tell me, honey, did you think washing pans for eight hours and cooking pizzas left a desirable smell?" - Honestly, the smell was horrible.
I feel less sane having smelled it. Ugh! - And I swore off pizzas for two years afterwards. I can comfortably say, working in a Pizza Hut shop for eight hours did not leave a desirable smell. In fact, after my shift, I generally felt slightly nauseous.
- [Woman] By the end of my shift, all I was smelling was drains and old cheese. But anyway, do you think some people found the smell alluring? - Well, according to Katie, it smelled like cinnamon, baby powder, and feet. - Smells like feet? - Smells like feet.
Apparently every single person she had smell it recoiled in disgust. - And I think it's because of the cognitive dissonance of not expecting something that smells foody, and indeed physical and slightly unhygienic to come out of something that looks like a perfume bottle. - Apparently, after it lingered on Katie for awhile, it also smelled like dough and salty cheese, which just sounds so lovely. At the end of the day, she found the smell interesting. - I love it. I think it's great, it's so weird.
- So unless you wanna smell like dough and old feet, it's probably not a useful perfume for any occasion. I haven't met someone who wants to smell like feet, but hey, it's a big world out there. - Come on! - No, thanks. - How about I stuff your crust? (audience laughs) - No, thank you.
- And definitely for number two, the Pet Rock. Oh, come on, a pet rock! Even the Chia Pet did something. Yeah, I was watching grass grow, but still something.
You see, a man once set out with a goal. His goal was to make millions of dollars selling rocks. And the weirdest part of all, he succeeded. You see, Pet Rocks were originally developed by Gary Dahl in the 1970s. Originally it started out more as a joke gift.
- This is for my grandsons who slept on a large rock about that big for (indistinct) (laughs) - [Josh] But over time, the Pet Rock sales boomed. I kind of get people's reasoning on this. You see apparently a lot of people like the idea of a pet that didn't require any care at all. I mean, in that sense, the Pet Rock is all pluses. Pet Rocky doesn't require food, he doesn't make droppings, he doesn't bark at everyone who passes by the house, he doesn't leave fur all over your couch, he doesn't bite your finger, he doesn't scratch, he doesn't even die.
So technically you can expect him to outlast you, me, everyone. You can even leave him your estate, if you want. Please don't leave a rock your estate. Now you might be thinking, "Oh, well, it was the 70s." I mean, back then they thought the bright pink and bright orange were trendy colors.
I mean, who would honestly think that bright orange is a trendy color? It would just be stupid, a moron, that's who. But anyway, the point is, maybe it was just a 70s trend to get a Pet Rock, but I'm sorry to break this to you. As I know this isn't gonna make you feel any better about society. In recent times, the Pet Rock has had a comeback and boomed in popularity. Maybe it's making a comeback as a joke gift.
Maybe people just got so tired of agonizing over what to get their friends for Xmas, they just thought, "Screw it, I'll get him a rock." But couldn't you have just, I don't know, picked one up off the side of the road? You see, as of 2004, over 1.5 million Pet Rocks have been sold at four bucks apiece. This gave Gary a total profit of over $6 million from rocks.
I'm sorry, I think I'm still trying to process that he made $6 million from rocks. Now I'm certainly not recommending it, but if you want to buy a Pet Rock, they are still available on Amazon. But why not just pick up a rock off the side of the road and give that four bucks to a charity instead? Hell's bells, give it to a homeless person, buy yourself a cup of tea, anything but buying a rock. I'm sorry, you do what you want with your money, it's your money. These Pet Rocks may have made Gary a millionaire, but that doesn't mean I can't still call them a stupid invention. And at number one, we have an anomaly of an item, I will never understand.
Handerpants. What is the item that reigns supreme in its sheer unadulterated pointlessness? Personally, I think that title goes to Handerpants. When you're wearing gloves, how can you make your life even more needlessly complicated? Why put on some Handerpants under those gloves? Because apparently our hands now need underwear.
They're fingerless gloves that feel almost identical to men's briefs as they're 95% cotton and 5% spandex. But watching the infomercial, it's still not clear what the point of Handerpants is meant to be. - They solve all kinds of problems. - Ah, this will tell us what their point is. - Like chafing, reddening of the hands, or damage to the hands through constant rough contact with other objects. - I mean, isn't that what gloves are for, chafing? I mean, have you ever got chafe gloves? No? Then the Handerpants are officially of no use to anyone.
- And talk about sexy, you'll have to hold the ladies back after they get a glimpse of these tiny whities. Hurrrhh! - I don't know, man. If I saw someone wearing Handerpants, I'd wanna help them, maybe encourage them to go into therapy, maybe rehab, there's hope. I feel like even Urkel could teach them about fashion sense.
- No more chafing for these hands, and they look great. - And they look great, hmm. But once again, I'm pretty flabbergasted because they sold. As of this video is filming, you can still buy Handerpants on Amazon. In fact, there's now officially a #handerpants movement on Instagram with thousands of people participating.
Well, I can't change what people decide to buy, but personally I'm sticking with gloves. Well, I don't think we're gonna top the stupidity of that, so let's end our journey here. And just a reminder, in case it is something that interests you, I am opening memberships. Membership offers some more casual, extra videos on this channel, such as my real unscripted thoughts on each top list, including what didn't make the list, and why. I also do some member live streams.
But you've had the patience to reach the end of the video, so I won't talk your ear off. And if you had your own choice for some rather pointless or silly items, feel free to leave your own thoughts in the comments below. And as always, thanks for watching, and I'll see you next time.
- Goodbye. (upbeat music)
2022-07-04