Gina Baldi: "The Things No One Ever Told Us [...]" | Talks at Google
Before. I invite. Gina up I'd, like to tell, you a little bit about her experience she has, over, 20 years of experience working, with children and, families and, is. The current parent trainer for the early early support. Program, for autism, and for D RTP, research. Program, in the, past she was the director of the Easter Seals Bay, Area autism, program as well as the director, of the, Pacific Autism. Center for Education. In early. Intervention and she's. Also completed. Trainings, with multiple, developmental. Bastes approaches, and has. Trained and supported teens of developmental. Therapist, behavioral, interventionists, and teachers to develop successful, programs, for children on the autism spectrum. Join. Me in welcoming Gina. To the stage. Thank. You I'm, happy to be here thank you all for attending and, all. Those remotely, so. I have, packets, here today and. I'm just going to point out a few things what, I'm currently doing, is. The, early. Support program for autism, it's called ESPA. And. I want to point this out ahead of time because I certainly will go through. Some. Resources, at the end however. You could call ESPA it's completely free at any time and, ask, questions, and get resources, and this is a collaboration, between Stanford. And Children's Health Council, you'll, talk to Christina. It's done in English in Spanish it's. A hundred percent free there's. No boundaries, when it comes to where you're located the age of the individual, you're calling, about or what resources we've, had. Infants. Come through, with. Parent concerns up to adults. Calling, for themselves, to, get resources, they may not always get. Directed to me for the parent training piece however, we, do find. Resources in. Activate. A parent call, from Florida, for. Resources. For her daughter who attends to effort as a sophomore, who, is on the autism spectrum. And. So whatever. Calls we get, Christina. Will seek out information and. And. Then she'll also tell you about any research, going on if you're interested, in research programs, with Stanford or elsewhere, and, also. If you're interested in this parent, training, it's a one-on-one parent, training with me it's, done over four sessions, it's there's, no time constraints, to this you, can do it remotely or in person, and again, it's 100%, free. And. It we based in because, it's one-on-one we talk about your child and techniques. To help in any given situation with, your child and your family is a whole, unit and, then, there's other resources in here about. Additional. Free classes. That CHC. Offers, and. In, Christina can even speak on those if you have any questions, so. I'm going to get into this. PowerPoint. And typically. It. Takes me more. Than, an hour and so. If I don't get through every slide don't worry about it because there is overlap and, this and I don't typically, stick to the slides anyway, so. This is just a lot of information, about Children's, Health Council and, you can look at that at. Your convenience. You. We're. Going to talk about a child success and looking. At it from a developmental, approach. And. We, will look in particular at the interactive, environment. How to create, a successful. Environment. For both you and your child to. Connect, and stretch their skills and then creating opportunities. And finding those teachable moments, and for, parents especially it's, about finding those moments throughout the flow of the day where. When you have programs, set up they'll, do more intensive, stuff but certainly these techniques, are really important, to know and. To hold, everyone, working with your child to a high standard, of. Getting. These individual. Ease opportunities, to teach and, teaching.
So. When we talk about, creating. An interactive environment. It's. Really pivotal, if, we want success we set a child up for success, and success does build success, so the more opportunities, they have, to. Be successful, sometimes we call it the the. Preemptive, strike we're going to call it success before it is we. Create. That confidence. And we can keep building on it but, in setting up the environment for, success again for both you and your child and, so. We look at the yes items, and. Those are the teachable, items the. No items are conversation. Stoppers, they stop. An interaction. And so. Yes items, are our redirection. It's our items, that we. Can say yes to and then teach and you you know we I look I work, with parents to find these and everything and so. For. If. I'm working with the child in a room the. Child doesn't know me and sometimes they'll go to the door and you'll see this later in the slide I really, want to be a good audience to receive all of the child's, communication. And. When. They don't have the language I put the language to it however I'm gonna put all my energy and excitement into my yes item, so, if they try to open the door and I said not, time flat, effect flat tone I say not time to open the door yet but, we can open bubbles, we can open play-doh, and all my energy goes to my yes. And, my excitement goes to my yes I'm not gonna spend a lot of time explaining, and no away like. Don't touch that no it's not time to go outside we could do that later because, what happens is, it's. It's even as an adult when we here know it's a bit of a sting and we're listening a little less alright for, kids, they almost grab, on to that what they were working towards. That no item, a little harder, and that's, where we see the fits or that's where we see, not. Really interacting, with you so much especially, if we're it constantly oh no don't do that no take that in your mouth oh no don't touch that, well, we're not really interactive. We're, the no person so we want to find the yeses in, as. Much as possible in these situations, I do teach no but, tic typically, it's in an interaction, it's in a game if. I say you know is the. Bulb. Over on the chair I think. With. Huge gestures, and, a big response, really. Obvious, gestures, a point, and everything else and. Then when I buy a third time I always find it's my yes yes.
So. We, really want to find those yeses and keep. Away from the nose of it if it is a no flat. Effect, flat, tone we don't want to give a lot of energy, towards it no you. Know with kids in general whether, there's a diagnosis, or not that. Energy. Gets. A response, so if it's a exciting. Know or an exciting, yes doesn't matter so. We want the yeses to be where our excitement goes. Providing. Interactive items. So. We want to look for items that create. Back and forth because the teaching comes through connection, and, then, that's so social, loops of interaction. You. Know if teaching. In isolated. Ways does, work, we. Don't always see it generalize into. Other. Environments. Or with other people, and so, and these of this approach that I'll talk about today it's it's really looking at the, everything, being taught through loops of interaction. Because. I the. Ultimate, goal is for. This individual, I'm working with to. Go and share the these tools, with, their peers not. With me or not with other what, we call manageable, predictable, in their control adults, that'll. Be in the slide too. So. Interactive. Items. You. Know I know I'm at Google however. We stay away from tech as much as possible I can't, be as exciting, this tech right. The. The what everything, I'll. Ask you to be today is what. Kids, get from, you. Know what they're watching on YouTube or in a video or, the. Songs and dance and all that colorful stuff. Certainly. There's things we can teach to that especially, for watching as well and doing some pausing, and. Kind. Of. Acting. It out or asking questions but, it is limited. We. Want we don't want we get rid of our competition. So. Tech, would be my competition, I want, items that I can. Bring the fun to it's not the the object is there support, the play. However. The. Person is the, primary focus. That. Object. Is not fun without me involved, so you looking for items that, don't. Have the bells and whistles the, lights and the the, noises the battery items. So. Ideally. Really. Basic. Toys. I like. Items, like what's, call I call them a pull tube and you just pull it long and you can spin it you can do all kinds of stuff so, thinking of items that you can get. A child excited, to look your way more often and want you to do it again and again to. Promote functional. Language. Create, an interactive environment again be a good sensory, detective. So. Typically, when I do this talk I do this, it kind of experimental. Or. I try to give you some type, of taste. Of what, sensory. May be going on with the child and we're always doing a best-guess because, we cannot. Say. What, affects a child we can observe and we can make best guesses. However when we're talking about young kids in general we. Know that their sensory system is immature when we're talking about child who's not hitting all those milestones, the way we expect, them to we're. Gonna kind of guess that there is some there. Are some, interruptions. And their. Sensory, development and. So. Being a good sensory, detective, is investigating. The environment. Setting. Again the environment, up for success is getting rid of items that are going to be an issue so I work with a little boy now who will mouth a lot of soft plastics, I don't bring soft plastics, into the session I'll. Bring hard plastic. Toys I bring items. That I can create interaction, but I'm not going to spend time. Taking. Things out of their mouths I also, will make sure there's a replacement, for, items like that so, if a child is mouthing. Being. A sensory detective, I, view. That as there's, a need there and, there's a responsible, adult I need. To help that child meet, that need, so. They don't have to keep seeking, out items. To meet it themselves, and so, replacement yes items, it's really important.
You. Know having. You know you work, with an occupational therapist, many times they'll use a tube a chewy, and. You. Know some kids do well with that some don't or, they get bored after a while so they'll do it for a little bit but they'll still grab the other items, having, other items, that might provide. More input. A. Washcloth. The dry washcloth, does that because they can get it back into areas that a, chewy, doesn't, get and then it kind of can, it's more malleable it, can get into, it, gets wet and then you can move it around a lot more it's. An acceptable. Item. Some. I know parents who have done handkerchiefs. So they're always accessible, that way so. Looking for again yes items, even. Teething. Rings still I mean when they come out of the freezer sometimes, that can give a nice relief or whatever is going on and you, know also trying lots of different pressure. In. Areas. Which if you work with a good occupational, therapist, they work a lot on the sensory, system too and they'll put a child on what, they call a sensory, diet. Which. Is deep, input, different, type of movements, for development. You. Also want to make changes, to the environment again you. Know if a, child get rid of the know items but also if the, law and you have great lights here in fact part of my. Experiment. I do is the shaking the lights and off and on and shaking. A bag making, lots of noise and drives most parents crazy and you can't focus. And. I said that's a little taste of what, may be going on that, what you're asking out of your child they're filtering. Through all those layers of. Sensory. Issues, so. Yeah it takes time to process if, they could do it easily they would be like doing it easily and so. To acknowledge, that it is hard and. And. So we need to set up that environment, to give them as much success as possible. So. You know having access, to a. Trampoline. Or a beanbag or even cushions, for deep pressure or being able to jump in on the bed doing. Tight. Rolling. A child up in a blanket tightly and back out which. We call a burrito and, kids love it and we get lots and lots of language, out of activities, like that because. The number one they can't do themselves we. Have, to be a part of it and, number, two it relaxes, their body and gives them a lot, of nice input and so they do want more and more so. I keep stretching, with as we continue, in and I get a more engaged and excited about the activity. So. You want, to remove items that are an issue, support. Sensory regulation. You. Know if you look at. Activities. Online you. Just want to try different things to really have, a, nice, array, of, sensory. Movement, sensory, input, activities, and. It, depends on what the child either seeks out or avoids. You. Know again. There's a lot of good, occupational. Therapists, out there and you know if you're not working with one their. Websites, will give you a lot of tips as well you. Can also search which I've done many times to get ideas as brain gym. And then, I'll just look at the images, under brain gym and it'll. Give me ideas of helping. A child move their body in different ways so. They are what they called crossing the midpoint, and working. Both sides of the brain, things. That when we don't do for a while and then you try to do it you realize it's. Not as easy as you thought like. Jumping jacks and. They'll try to do when I'm like I think I forgot how to do a jumping jack or, jumping, rope.
Skipping. Right. Sounds, like no big deal if you haven't done it for a while try it you'll. Realize your brain's lost a little of that you, can get it back but, it takes practice and. Really. Paying attention in the child's ongoing, needs one of the things you want to be as a good sensory detective, it's, just sit. Step you'll step back and, observe and. Observe. The finer details. Of, what. Your child is doing that. You may want, to look, for ways to support. Because. If we can be a partner, in this we. Can be, play. A role in the need to open, and shut a door, and. All of a sudden our idea instead of us stopping, them constantly, from doing it they're. Going to turn more and more to you as a partner, instead, of somebody the, no person in that. Position. Yourself, for eye contact, you. Want I contact, make it really easy be, it his or her I love our lower and, then. Capture it you'll see it later again. I jump around the slides but reinforce, it everything you want to see how that child more often reinforced. Oh good lucky, and. Do. It with that nice energy. But. If you're, if you're working or you have a child who, doesn't have nice eye contact, and you want it set. Them up for success help. Make it really easy take, all the obstacles out of it and then reinforce, it each. And every time and I know sometimes it's quick but, I mean I will capture it if, I'm working on it I'll, get it each time even if in moving and then, I get to slow it down a little bit more and a little bit more. Promote. Reciprocal. Interaction. Again. Everything, we teach through loops of interaction, and so. You'll. See it later in the slide but that pause is really important, and. For that anticipation. If I know I'm. Gonna get something back and I'm, available, to receive it back. And. You, know many times when I work. In a room with no distractions, and, where I don't have, to run. After a child a lot to get eye contact. And, so that way we can do a lot more of the back-and-forth reciprocal, interactions, you might look at space like that and. Make it a space that a child wants, to stay in because, it's so much fun because you bring the fun to it. Offer. Visual. Steps when necessary and schedules. So. You know. It's. We it's more impactful, of a learning opportunity if, we see it we hear and we experience, it I have. A better chance of taking that skill, with me so.
Visuals Are really important, whether. I have an actual item. Icon. A picture, of an item or I. Do it in gestures like oh do you want pizza or, chicken, and, there's nothing there but, it helps with visualization, which helps with when, kids do get into chapter books, and things like that you. Know you have to be it's the same as social comprehension, you have to be for reading comprehension able. To visualize. The, characters, visualize, the environment, and then, start making predictions of what could happen and that's. The same for that social piece that's. Why it's so hard there's all those unwritten, rules of. What. It means to socialize, and be successful. And. So you want to make it really obvious and. Schedule. Sometimes, help visual, steps help one, of the things you want to be careful is to do us too many schedules and, then, you get a more rigid, individual. Right, we. Want flexibility. Within those schedules, so if I have a schedule. Planned out well I might have a special activity in that. You. Know if you're going if you drive just a, child at school every day and you have options to go, multiple. Routes you want to take, a left turn next instead of a right turn when, you go on walks you want to explore, be curious, and, go different directions. We. Can do a lot of flexible. Demonstrations. Even with our speech, so. If I say go shut the door I can also say go close the door means. The same thing and people say it differently and so. You want to vary your language, for. Nice flexibility. As, well. When. We're creating our opportunities. And some of this I'll go through more detail, you want to be manageable predictable, in a child's control, you. Know the. Social world a. Lot of things in an individual's, life are not manageable, predictable, and their control and so it's scary and that's. And, especially, if there's sensory, issues, and so that's where you see a, child. Run, off or bite or hit wanting. To get out of what's, a very scary situation. And, so as adults we. Can be that within. That, we, can we will expect. Flexibility. And we'll try it challenge, a child in a healthy manner. And, we'll go in that more detail be irresistible, right. Be. The fun of the play, and. Make it obvious you know what, your what, it looks like. Invite, your child to take healthy risk. Yeah. That's really important, for then it's, a little scary, but. If I can be manageable predictable, and then control and, give little pieces, of, risk. And, risk, is very different, for different kids. I had, a beanbag one time in a room where a child does a lot of really, more, academic. Work, and not the social piece and he, sat in the beanbag and, I. Thought oh wow I'm gonna do. Sensory, social, activities, what we call it and so I went and I picked the beanbag up you. Know I kind, of gave pressure and I just picked it up I said oh, just. To my knees and he. Was scared and so. I went don't don't don't and I did not let go because I knew he would be out of that beanbag and, I know he'll, enjoy it if he, can see that, his manners were predictable in his control, that it is safe so. I'd do it again ah. Don't. Down down and. Again. Later in the slide always. Comes up for a very clear beginning middle and end to, my routine, and I'm gonna do it at least three times the. Rule of three if, a child needs it more cuz I think oh he still needs a little more he looks scared but, he's starting to relax and I'll do it more typically, three does it for me and I'll do it a good up up.
Down. I come, down again and then, I let go, and. He stayed in and he, actually set up up up, right. So, I do it again but. This time I go all the way up and I, go down and we did it a few more times and he tells me up up up for more is it more because, what I really want now is for him to say I've got them I've, captured, them into this activity but now up up, up is it really appropriate you, can tell me more that. Would be more appropriate so, I say more, and, I do up up up and then, I add something, to it I had the spin, and. If I spin a child one way I always feel them spin them the other way again. It's more impactful for a child so if a child is running around a lot or spinning, get. Them to rotate, reverse. I see reverse go the other way so I start teaching those words by defining, them at the same time we're doing them. And. It's they won't need as much spinning. You. Know some kids can spin constantly. Could not get dizzy spin in one way and spin them the other way, their, bodies are impacted. A more satisfactory. Way and, they, won't need as much spinning, and stuff are running around it's. Hard to if a child is running in a circle and you say stop reverse, I mean. They they're in this momentum, it's, even, a child without a diagnosis, they have a trouble then, going. The other way and I hold them to it anything, I ask of a child I hold them to it whether, I help them or not whether they do it independently or not doesn't matter to me but. I do hold them to the expectation. So they know that I'm, always gonna hold you to these expectations. Those. Expectations if, this is where their skill level is I'm, doing the next step, I'm not leaping, you. Know we're not doing brain surgery now, I want. Success and, so it's that next step. So. This is a very health healthy, risk for a child and I know he's going to love it and so, I keep, adding, on to this activity, you, and. I start teaching no yes. In this, activity because if, you give him a, choice, oh if I say do you want to, go down he'll say go down he, just repeats right the last couple words, and, so I want him to say yes sir no so I start teaching yes and no in this activity, going up doing. Some spins and, it was in a playful way of instead. Of putting him on the floor I'd say down down down on the counter, and that. Was a no.
That. And so I would have again, by, three I was on down, down on the floor yes yes. And then. I next. Time I'd say down down like on the chair and I'd. Wait for him to answer no. After. I demonstrated, a few times and, then he would start start, to go no like, no and, then get, to the yes, item. By. Doing these things again, being manual predictable in this controller really much, more interactive partner, in this and be. Responsive. Which is that thank yous and you'll see that in another slide. So. Being manageable. These are some nice questions, you asked yourself. You. Know grabbing. Things out of a child's hands not manageable. Moving. Too quickly, you. Want that slow approach you want those pauses, in huh and it. Sounds. Add sounds, to your activities, they know it's coming, again. With a child with the diagnosis, are not my child or other child doesn't matter to me I always do these type of techniques, and you, get a more of a buy-in. By. Doing these type of techniques, so. Even if I'm about to just tickle, or something you know it's coming because you know tickling, is one of those things that, there's. A little bit of fun to it but mostly it's not a fun activity, because. You get kids. Cracking, up but you keep doing it and they've already passed that enjoyable. Kind of fine, line but. They're laughing still so you keep at it, and, so you, know being really manageable predictable, and their control for stuff like that so you always I always show a child my approach like you, come to girls so, you know it's coming they're cracking up from the anticipation. Because. It's much funnier, than the actual tickles, and they'll say. And. I'm right back up but. You know I'm not too far where my. Approach is way over there it's not so much fun or. If I'm too close it's a little scary it's. Really manageable. And. That anticipation, is. Really, important for social anticipation. They, gonna read something anticipate. What's going to happen, by, reading the environment, the, body language of facial effect the movements. Is. So important for social success. And. We can teach that early on with. Those pauses. You.
Know And have that sound to it and, I'll even do multiply. You. Know kids, think it's much funnier than if I just went in and start tickling plus you get a child looking more and tracking. See, they're attending, instead, of just getting the needs met and then being gone. You. Know being really careful with removing things from a kid's hand if I if a child is playing with a car, or something I'm gonna join them exactly, what they're doing however. I'm gonna have my own car, I mean, it won't personally, be mine I'll probably be another one of his or. Hers but. Still I don't ever, take the child's, item from, them even if I'm trying to demonstrate I, do it by joining them and then offer something, in, addition, to what they're already finding. Mastery. And pleasure from. Being. Careful. About standing behind or above I mean, none of us like somebody to close behind us it's uncomfortable, if. I am behind a child and I'm gonna help him with something I put my hands out in front and say I'm. Here, my hands I'm gonna help and then, I might help them do hand over hand or something like that picking. Up a child same thing mine or not it doesn't matter me I'll say I'm gonna pick you up and. I don't wait for yes or no I might tell them why am I, the big street pick you up and then I pick up or. You. Know this car so you have to hold my hand and then I take him but I let him know what's gonna happen I make, myself available and, then I have follow-through, to that. Being. Predictable, again, helping. Them anticipate. What's coming and. You do that with the pauses. Make. Sure they know what their role is and what your will role is in that so sometimes it's explicitly, saying that. And. You know as parents, I think, we all do this is, we put things in a question, instead of a comment and you. Know I, know. Better to do that and I still seem to throw a question at the end I'll say time, for bed okay and, I think why am i doing that okay, it's now I'm not asking I'm. Stating. And. So if you're not asking, don't put it in a question form, when. You say oh do you want to play or can i play with you, I wouldn't. Ask you're gonna because, you're probably gonna get a no unless. You're gonna accept that no and walk away or, let's. Try it you want to try it this way and then it's like no. Well. Then I would, join, exactly. What they're doing and it's oh I'm gonna try it like this and then you demonstrate, what you're gonna try. But. You want to make it clear what's expect, no I can step up to an expectation if, they don't know what it is and so. Making that very clear what is expected. With. Little language and. Gestures. Right, put. You. Don't have to explain things away what. You want is that follow-through, and the more they can follow. Nonverbal. Gestures, the. More they're watching, and. The. More you're helping increase their, observation, skills for. Observing. Peers. Learning. How to know. What's going on in that social setting, which. Will help them know how to join, and maintain, the social interaction. And. Giving that time. Again. With with the sensory, issues. That may be going on. Processing, time is really important. So. If I say do, you want you know water. And. They, don't answer I'm like water. Do, you, want the water. Do. You want you want a drink of water each. Time I. Speak. It's. Like starting all over so, I ask and then they start processing, the information that I ask again it's like okay I start processing, again then.
Yes Different, ways to sometimes. We touch look at me which, is very overwhelming, right skins our largest organ taking, in stimulation. And so. Then I've got a process, that in, addition. To you talking, in addition, to maybe some demand, you're putting on me in addition, to lights. Uncomfortable. Chairs. Temperature. Whatever. Else is going on hearing, a fan. You. Know we can all sit here and. Ignore many things and tune in I. Wouldn't, I wouldn't assume your child can do that and I wouldn't assume your child knows, what's expected out of them I. Was. Working with a little boy than the day and he said something about soccer. So. I'm like oh I have an idea, you. Know and so I said, you had a ball and I say let's. Play soccer you're gonna kick the ball and I'm the goalie and, I have to stop it and, he. Couldn't. Act on any of it and, so, I, kind. Of made, it really obvious of, what it looked like and then and so, his mom later told me he has no idea what soccer is or, anything else you just said well. He's the one who brought it up so I I, assumed. He knew and. For. All of these specialties social activities, even things like tag. It. Seems like a pretty simple, game, but. Unless you play with your child and you see that he, or she knows all, the roles, in it then you don't just keep running that, you actually tag and, then, you run away and try not to be tagged again, who's. It who's not it what, the rules are and they've, gotten a lot more complicated, kids, aren't just playing tag if you're at a playground, you'll hear them make, up a lot of thematic. Play, pretend play, around. Tagg they'll, say like if, you touch the ground it's, lava and, you're blah blah and it's all these rules now that make it really complicated. So. As you're as you're playing games like this with your child you want to start to make put, kind, of themes around, stories. Around it make it more complicated, and in a way. That's manageable predictable, in their control. And. Be again being a good partner making, it really obvious, what their role is and what your role is. Making. Sure they feel in control doesn't mean they get control. Them. However. Helping. Them, manage. This. The. Scariness, of it all and giving them a sense of control so. If, they're whatever they're motivated by, that's where we start when we're connecting, with a child and, then. We can add more things to it that maybe are not where, they're motivated or, maybe, is it is not. A preferred, activity. I can go in that direction so, as, I work with kids I it's, it's it's certainly child led, so. It's third gender, I had my goals and, I never get rid of my goals, however. I started their skill level their interests, and then my steps to the goal is in, that direction and. It's constantly, stretching, and something it's really layered learning, because I'm getting eye contact. I'm demonstrating, like, lots of nice facial expression. Nice tone of voice. You. Know whatever skill, I'm working with, if it's a concept, if it's expanding on play and, I'm, getting loops of interaction. So. It's not just me. It's. Not, just me. Meeting needs. It's. Back and forth. Being. Really, and that's the whole, sensory. Detective, is responding. To their body language, what. Is a child telling you but especially around that nonverbal, language. So. If a child pushes. Away, about. The tickle, and they turn their body I'll say all done tickler, no tickle. And. If they come back as tickle, you know oh. Whatever but. I'm I'm very responsive. To body language and, what, that's telling me and I put functional. Language to that body language. The. Toys again, not, taking the toys away, not. Withholding, you'll, see it later you don't want to withhold items. If, a child saying you know buff or banana I can, work and didn't, go in the direction of the word banana but I'm not going to withhold that banana until they say banana, because, I'm not a good partner, here, I'm not user friendly, they're. Gonna walk away way, before we get there and so. Being responsive. As being that user friendly partner. Not. To stop or interrupt play and play is going on we just want to keep expanding, on and expanding, on it. And. Again knows we'll stop it. Certain. Items being taken away stop it being. Irresistible, the. Big expressions. You. Draw attention their face these, are the things to be socially, successful in, with social success we. See learners, because, they're observing they, read the situation and, then they'll imitate, they'll learn from what they're seeing the.
Things We want them to imitate. And. They start to learn from their peers instead of having to be taught, directly and so, we will again want to make it really obvious early. On ah with. The exaggerated. Expressions. Letting. Them see your face pausing. Exaggerating. Your movements, but oh the, if you're, working on point or whatever else make it really obvious what, that looks like I mean again you think it's no big deal but you know to learn to isolate, this finger, amongst all the rest it takes a lot of brainpower the, messages, have got to get through our bodies to isolate. These motor movements. Ensure. We do it all the time but, if the. Messages, aren't going through, you, you, know from your from. Through, your body to the brain and then back in, a, timely manner you're. Not seeing this, and. So. You want to make it really obvious of. What it looks like. Demonstrate. It so that there's no question. What's expected. Sound. Draws, them in even with bubbles if I say you, know Oh bubbles, Oh. Stuff. Like that right if all I do is this a child's. Not going to watch I want them tracking I want. Them invested, in this activity, I want, them making sounds. Kasam leads to language, any. What kids young kids especially do, is they put sound to play and, so. Getting all those sounds going in different ways whether it's jumping on the bed or running, around, and. A lot of times for kids if they don't have language and. I put sounds to it they're able to initiate play, with me with the sound, because. They don't can't say oh I want you to do bubbles for me again they'll. Just say oh and I'll see bubbles, I, give, again give back the functional word for it but I accept, the language, they're able to give me at that moment. And. Make that activity, much more fun with, you than without you, and. That. Means being manageable, predictable in their control because when you're not it's not fun for them you're, taking away from their. Activity, the way they have to do it in that moment. Again. We join exactly, what they have to do and then I can stretch it but if I go and just decide, a child, who's maybe spinning, wheels and I go and say oh that's, not how you play the card you take the car and you go are even. If I make it fun it won't matter this, is where he is he's mastered, this it. Fulfills him in some way I need to respect, that and, so. I join in exactly, that and then I add to this ah you. Know and I go, fast or slow I do some concept, and I do the rule of three with.
That Beginning middle and end I'll say you know genius wheels I gotta go fast. Ready. Go. Make. It really obvious and I go back to joining at his paces oh good genius, wheels like one again. And, I'll do that same way at least three times and if he keeps looking I know he's interested and. Then, I want more out of him what, I really wanted imitation. But. The little boy I'm actually thinking of he, didn't give me imitation, so I went back to joining he kept looking over and I, here and. I would just keep doing this and finally he said ma and he didn't have language he, had a few, approximations that's it and. Lots of sensory, issues little body tone it's on my own I'm actually on my stomach to be lower than him and, I'm doing exactly what he's doing it. And. So I give him exactly what, he wants. But. Only when he gives me something I don't, keep giving and then I go back to this and then he, looks up he does it getting more. And. And. After a couple times like that I start to decrease. My party, and. Give. More words he'll save more you're, really like fast okay, here's more. And. I give him more and, at some point he did prompt them and this is only you know really, within minutes this was happening first time meeting them and I. Say, Johnny doom, fast, and. He's doing this and it was really the same pace but a premium to skirt strike, I say. More. Fast and he started doing fast and in. That scene was a two hour session, and within that same two hour sessions, we ran fast, we. Jumped, fast so we took the concept of fast and we did it in multiple activities, for. Mastery. And. Then at some point we added slow to activities. Where they were appropriate, you, don't want it to be I still make it fun and so if I do slow. For certain things it's not so much fun, so. That he could start discriminating. Between these things. Be, responsive. That's, that thanking, him, everything. You want to see out of a. Child. You want it to be clear what's expected, we can put that in our response. Or, thank-yous, and. Varying. Your language, again, make it you want to keep that that value, to, it so if I say oh thank you for cleaning up huh thank you for eating oh thank, you for sharing. I'm, gonna be specific, and say exactly when, I would see more often because if a child gives me something I say thank you I can, assume he knows but I don't, want to assume I want, what, I'm really saying is do that more often just. Like, the kid who really, didn't do fast but I said good fast right, I'm, telling him it's fast before it is but what I'm really seeing is faster. Faster. More, more more, but. I'm building that confidence, and I'm showing, that we're a team in this and so, I can say thank you with good energy and be specific but it loses its value, after. A while is it thank you all the time it's kind of boring and you want to keep that value and that kind of connection, and, doing things like oh there's those pretty eyes, get. Excited, about that stuff it also brings more energy as you're. Doing these and when you think how, long do I do the eye thing shouldn't. He be giving me eye contact by now if he's not we, keep reinforcing it. And. We keep the party high when needed it's like when a child first starts walking right we get really excited, we're. Kind of that big cheerleader, there and now that they have, own, walking. We. Don't have to say anything more about it we move on from those things but. We have to be. That cheerleader, in that development of whatever skill you're looking at. And. You know the, thing about eye contact. Is because there's a lot of kids who don't have to look to take the information in however, at some point, they're going to be missing, the more complicated, stuff, because, they're not watching. So. We do need eye contact. You. Know we want the certainly, that receptive, language that, follows that was very very important.
But. I'd hold them to the eye contact, as well. So. Finding teachable, moments, those, are just kind of some ideas, I'm going to move on for this just to get to the next slide. Model. Functional, language, it, can be that good audience. The. More you receive communication. Was verbal, or nonverbal, especially. The nonverbal, to be all say back things even. But you child, looks a little nervous about something I know it's a little security but I'm gonna help you you could do it or, hating. Haircuts, hating, to, get their hair wash brushing, teeth or whatever I know you don't like it it's okay you. Can do it and you kind of let them know for. You know first. You know, top, teeth bottom teeth then all done or something I'll, do the washing hair and I'll say like you. Know five cups of water and then all done so I let them know I estimate. What it's gonna take and, then. I get, it through and it's not, fun for the, child. However. They survived it and for some things that's what we're doing, we don't want a tiptoe around you. Know anxiety. Provoking. Activities. Or scary. Activities. We want to help them through it we want to be a partner, so you know it's a little scary but, hope. You we, do it together and, then we you give them some success. And. Then we move on to the next we. Don't have to spend again a lot of time explaining. Why. They had to do it we. Just want to help them be successful and. That in, any given activity. And. And what happens to is over time it, gets easier and easier. Do. Less for the child to, create. Openings, and again. I, especially. For help if a child needs help and it's obvious to me I am, available and. I'll put my hands out and say I'm right here if you want help and, I'll punch out whatever word they should be saying but I don't automatically. Do. You. Know I am. Right, there it's, I'm anticipating, them. Giving me something or asking, me for help but, they do have to give to get and so for kids who don't have language they might put the item in my hand I'll say yes help help. And I, help for other kids they might give me language, to help or, for some I'm ready but, they want to work on little longer, and I, might give you a little reinforcement for that and so you work your really hard, things. You know again. Just reinforcing. The actions, they are demonstrating.
To Me with, functional, language, but. Keeping it really simple no, matter how much it language, a child has I do. A lot more gestures, than. Expansive, language. Pause. Often you've, seen me do that. It. Allows a child to give, to get, it. Also allows them to read the situation. At. Some point you want to be like Johnny he, looks. And. For follow-through, of things like that that's much more compliment, complicate than me to say Johnny come over here have, a seat, I mean that's all first teach it but, it across, the room you want to be able to go like this that's. That more subtle, social. Language that we, all have to read. Demonstrate. Nice social-emotional, language and problem-solving. Skills you know it's really important, for a child early on to have social-emotional, language and so we did we teach that by giving it to them you, know it's a little scary I know, that you, know that they're sad or whatever and be that yourself, you don't always want to do things perfectly. Have, accidents. All the little water. And a cup and I'll purposely, have it spilled forth. Depending on the child and working ah, oh well. I'll clean it up right. Accidents, happen but for some kids, you. Know their social emotional responses. Over the top and. So. You want, to have a, little, bit of a reaction. But. Then a problem solve the problem you don't always want to go to solving, the problem and you think about in your own life, if. You came home. To your partner, and said oh the traffic was so bad I, can't. Stand 101, it's always packed and they're like why. Do you take one on one every time you two. Go blah, instead. Of one on one you don't want a prop you know what solution to that problem you're, aggravated. And you want someone to meet you there in the aggravation, and then you can let it go but. If someone's always solving your problems, you're. Not gonna really talk to them about problems, so much right, you. Just want to be matched and, then. You can come down and so even for kids who do have big responses. I guess you all have experienced, this before I'll. Match him in that but then I can bring them down like if it's frustration, I know it's so frustrating oh, I. Have, an idea try, this right. But if I don't match them there then. I can't. Leave them out of there. So. Again depending on what you work on. So, have your own accidents. Try something, and make it not work you, know doing. A household, you, know fixing, things around your house kids love to.
Try To do screwdrivers. Or whatever act like you can't do it and ask for their help and, make, it really simple or opening. A water bottle, you know I'll purposely, have it loose, you. Know I'll ask for them to help me and then they're able when. You help me write it well I already loosened it up but still, I. Make, it so that I can't, solve. Everything I can't do everything. And. So that they can step into we, all need those moments, pair. Gestures with your words. Visuals. You know gestures, are so important, and so. If you're not an expressive, person, you. Want to turn it on for. Those moments. Be. Mindful teacher, you. Want to think. About what you're teaching and promote. That especially, imitation, through demonstration. When we look at imitation. I don't. Think that's something but we're looking at facial. Vocal. Gestural. Action. With objects. So. You want to you want to think about how they're doing you know as your, child is developing, out language, is there a nice tone of voice are. They. Owning, that language. You. Know they are they able, to not only read come here but they too will, do come here, and. You can especially teach, that when there's a couple of you know daddy come here well you have to show them go do, this and you can even do a little he know I'll help you and you do come, here daddy, and then and then daddy responds, oh thanks. For showing me so. Again you thank them for whatever you want the. Skill. To. Improve on so if language, is already there and you want that gesture reinforce, that gesture, by. The showing. Make. Expectations. Clear, have. That beginning. Mellon and everything, you're teaching and stick with it for a few rounds until they're, able to read it it's a couple for some kids it's getting them to buy in making. It fun and I, have to sell that fun and so I keep doing it, same way and, that makes it really clear what, it looks like and for some other kids it's, important, for them to observe it multiple, time so they know what their role is if. I, want a child to do fast what does it look like what does it sound like I'm defining that word even as I say it right fast test us and probably, my speed isn't like really, fast it may not even change, that much but I'm calling it fast and I'm. The, way I'm saying it's fast and so, I'm selling the fast concept. And. So it's really important, to make those expectations, I know you've seen that on a few slides already but, we want him to step up. Make. Sure it's clear, and. To, support, the follow-through so. The same little boy he, would have a bag and I, would ask him to heavy. Work is really good for a kid most kids too. And. So I would have him bring the bag inside and he would take the bag but he would take a couple steps and let it kind of slip off his arm and I'd. Do, a playful, obstruction. I'd say wait you, know to the door but I already made the expectation, clear you know to bring it to the door, so. Whether it's groceries. Or whatever where. Do they have to be carry it to to the table to the door whatever, have. It very clear, and so, I put it back on his arm and I actually would held this he arm up and said you, know I'll help you and we go to the door with it nice. And good thought you know good caring, or good listening. And. Then. He started to do it himself after, a couple times of me holding it to him because I didn't I couldn't, it wasn't an activity, that I could, in that you, know short amount of time repeat, over and over he. Was getting there and I just was having it carried to the door so after a few visits of that he. Knew that I was going to hold them to it and he started doing it himself. If needed allow for sensory input break so if a kid's doing you, know homework, or whatever and you see them moving a little more getting. Put language to that oh I notice you're moving in your seat or your works getting sloppy how, about we jump. Three times and then try again you. Know or hey. But don't let them go watch TV or do something that they're not coming back. It's that sensory, input it's that movement, you know an article, came out a few years ago now and it was research showing that kids who sit on a bouncy, ball are much more successful. In. School. Get higher grades doing homework on a bouncy, ball and, so, having that movement, can really help with focus, work and. Be animated, you've seen that, and, there's your summary so, sorry, if I sped through that last part but to get to questions. No. I should just go right oh there's, some resources at the end by the way. Including. All, these resources you can additionally get through, ESPA, and these yahoo, chat groups. For parents, only they vet it well it's parents only you, do not have to be on the peninsula or kaiser parents. From all over different insurances, are both and their strong advocate, parents, who run those groups.
Okay. We, do have some, time for questions and. We'll. Take audience questions first and we do have a microphone that we'll pass around for. Those questions. Okay. I don't, see much information, I'll go to the dory. Okay. So the first question on the Dory is what would you recommend as effective. Methods. For disciplining, children with autism. You. Know it depends, on the child certainly. You. Want to. Teach, and, get to those yes it-it's as much as possible and, so. Certainly, you, know for some kids timeout works give. It a break well you, know but having them try again, is very very important, so, if. It's, a, child. Who pulls hair you. Know I used to run a center base, program and we had a little boy who would, really want, to play with these other kids and he'd pull the little girl's hair and so. Teaching, gentle. Hands, oh you can say hi you, can Pat and so we, were right there and teach what he could do with, his hands to get that interaction that we knew he wanted so. You know what. Is the purpose of that. Behavior. And then. Looking for the replacements. What, are the yes in, those because the know is pulling here explaining. That to a child why they can't pull hair and that the friend won't want to play with them and all of this for, most kids that's not going to teach what should I do and. So. Teaching the what should they do if you do a timeout you know you can say okay we're gonna we're, going to take a break and then try again give them that opportunity to try again if it's at home but. Then help them be successful as. They try again. Okay. One other Dory, question. Are. There any resources, that, you would recommend for parents of older children who, may not have the skill sets initially, to live on their own specifically. About job life skill training and resources, as well as possible, options such as group, homes or assisted, living for adults. So. If you haven't contacted. The. Bay. Autism. Center. In San Francisco, run by. Jill. Uh sure, and. She does a lot of. Workshops. As well I'm, Jill, uh sure is really, is putting, a lot of time and effort resources. Into. Older. Children, individuals. You, can also call ESPA, and ESPA. Can give you a lot more resources, if you want anything. Specific, they can, give. You context. And. You. Know any information, around groups. And all of that. There's. A lot of apps out there that, I know are, being used again, if you call SBUs, you can kind of go over some of those for. Work stuff, as. Well any. Other audience, questions, before, we end. Microphones. Coming to. UM. Give any suggestions if your child is extremely. Food limiting as far as their choices as far as things. To kind of get them to open up to to, new foods and things. So. That. Is certainly a hard one because. You know we get so scared of our kids not eating that, we many. Times will give over, I mean, and I know the specialists, out there that, that work with food issues, have long wait list, but. A lot, of and, certainly you can call ESPA and, Christina, can give. You some information, and contact, you with other people, there, would be no cost to it we, recently, did. A, four. ESPA I did I do parent, groups as well if. You ever want information on that they're free to to attend and you can do remote and in-person and one, was on food and one of the tips, that this, specialist, key which I thought was really interesting is if, your child say, is eating bread.
Well. You want to add just one, thing that complements. Bread that you think will be acceptable, like butter you don't want to then say okay here's spinach, right. Whatever, they are eating, you. Want something that actually goes with that item, to just, get a different, taste, on. Their palate to just stretch them a different texture, a different flavor. That would be acceptable, for, them to try, but. If you if you I, don't. Know if my emails on here I can send you the presentation, this individual, did that had a lot of nice tips in that too I'll give you my email with really. Do. You have any recommendation. For when the kids start to act silly especially, and they're. Not comfortable the situation, start like acting very silly. Very. Very silly yeah, and a lot of that is, you. Know some underlying, anxiety we, see it as or even being overstimulated, so, deep pressure helps. With that I would, put language, to it so you know, start. To help them discriminate, when that's appropriate and when not, if. It doesn't feel like a connection, it, probably, is over stimulation, right, so. Depending. On where you are sometimes. Holding. Some, item that they can give pressure squeeze, you know those, balls, or whatever. You. Know we. Used to put weight. The weight the ankle weights you open those up and put it on a child's lap and that will ground them a little bit their, feet should always be touching the ground to be ground it if they're sitting in a chair you don't want their feet dangling, because. Then they'd have no way of grounding themselves, and they can kind, of. Start. To get out of control. If. It's somewhere where you're. Sitting and you can put them on their lap and give them some deep pressure that can help just. That. Even. Weight pressure, on the shoulders, to to relax their body and ground them but. You want to hold and kind of a firm hold and with, not. That grab squeeze, comes, because that can work them up even higher but, just sit like school, he's, in hold, and. I will I won't break contact, and I will do the rule of three so if I'm giving a hug or something right now for, a child they'll say uh-huh. And there's my beginning you know I'm. Gonna give this nice deep hug and, then, I will lit up but I don't break contact, now do it the rule of three uh-huh. And. I do it again and then I'll open up and some kids will push back into me I'll say more.
And. It's just to relax their body. So, that then we can have more focus work or they can move on to something else, deep. Squeezes, in the hand really. Help and, I mean I get a nice firm squeal, and, again Elsie and. So, that's where time where I won't be you. Know I when, we when we talk about bringing, that energy it's, not being obnoxious, right. Because. I can do it no words like are. But. For a child who's kind of overstimulate. Then yes it's kind of lowering, it and giving. That deep pressure, you. Know kind, of a whisper, and comedies, let's try squeezes, and I'm always just trying I, don't, know what's gonna work I'm taking best guess. And. Then I'm just relaxing their body and, then we try again whatever situation, is let's. Try to watch. You. Know focus, or whatever it is I'll use the word focused quite a bit because, we want focus. During. Certain activities. Okay. Thank, you so much you're welcome thank, you. You.