My Real Thoughts About Everything

Hey guys, so for today's video I'm gonna go ahead and just get ready with you guys and we're gonna do some chit chatting I just, finished kind of like curling my hair so, I just have to put it back that's why it just looks it's. Kind of like weird and silly in this ponytail, but yeah let's go ahead and get. Started I'm gonna do just like a really quick kind, of simple glam I've. Been having like a lot of me I don't know if you guys can tell like, I feel like I might give that vibe off so I'm just gonna like let you guys know I've been having so much anxiety lately, I'm, just gonna use the Marc, Jacobs coconut primer I don't. Know why but it's almost like I, have. Like something on my chest and it's been like 2 weeks and I just I feel like I can't get good breaths, in like. Like. Good full breaths I feel like I really have not taken a good or, I don't know what it's like to have a good full breath in like, two weeks, literally. So, I'm just warning you guys I do I just, have some anxiety so, I might be like a little bit weird. In, this video but. Last. Week I didn't film all week which I felt so guilty because I was like oh my god Amy are so lazy like you know I mean I just I felt lazy, I felt guilty but. Like I literally mentally, just like could, not you know they mean and I'm, really lucky that I have this job where I work for myself and I can choose. To not work all week if I want to but. At the same time like I feel like a lot of people are like oh you're so lucky that you can do that I mean. Are we gonna call it luck though I'm blessed but, it wasn't luck like I didn't I didn't just wake up one morning and someone was like you, win a YouTube channel you, win an Instagram, like I did. That myself I. Got. To this place because, I one day started, my own channel I bought all these like, thousands. Of dollars of equipment like you name it you so I feel like I'm kind of like rambling, a little bit but I hey this is what she check it right here with me right this. Is also gonna be a super, Ron real to check it ready with me because I have so many things to talk to you guys about that I really want to touch on. I'm, gonna use the Georgia I can't choose if I want to use the Georgia Romani or the, damn. I really can't choose I. Love. This foundation I really, want to try now they have like a good one I. Really. Really would kid she was I probably should have sat. Down to decide before I started filming this ah, let's. Do the giorgio just kind of liquid it's easier to apply anyways.

Um Yeah. I feel like I'm kind of rambling a little bit but whatever anyways I I do see comments like that a lot like people are like well you're lucky that you can do. That and it's like blessed. Yeah but like look like is it really luck though I didn't win a youtube channel like I worked, to get to this place like I feel like a lot of people don't give youtubers, the credit that they deserve let's, stop calling it luck here unit evening but, anyways that isn't even a topic that topic that I want to talk about but just like popped in my head as I said that anyways. I do feel super blessed that I have a career where I can like, do. That you know I mean I feel really blessed saying truthfully, if it wasn't like here's the thing with like being a youtuber literally, if you guys all collectively. Sat. Down and were like I hate Amy I want to unsubscribe to her I want on follow her I literally, would not have a career that's, why I'm so grateful to you guys like I am, Who I am career-wise. Because. Of you like if, you were not watching this video right now I wouldn't. Have, so, that's why I always, stay humble and I just I don't you, know let, it get to my head cuz you guys control everything so. You. Know what I mean so I do feel super, blessed in that way. But. Yeah I just had, the same time I felt guilty like kidding me do you guys ever feel, guilty, for feeling anxious or, upset about, something, but then sometimes can. You guys hear that noise someone. Just decides to start mowing their lawn. Thank. You every. Time I sit down to film which I check it ready with me I'm always like I have so much to talk to them about and then I totally forgot so. I wrote down like literally, the biggest list. In my. Entire, life I don't even know him have enough time to talk about everything um, but. There has been so. Much going around, YouTube lately and can, I just say I am so like over, in the my truth videos like can we like not there. Like so played out I'm. Like so over it I hate. Won't. Like one person does something and everyone just like hops on the paddy wagon but, at the same time I mean it's good I like. That there's a lot of things coming out I know a lot of people like to talk about like the beauty community and how there's so much shade you want so much drama here's something with YouTube you guys to choose who you subscribe, to any support, and another, thing too that I really, hate is a, lot of people are complaining about like, the. Shady people and, on, YouTube, who are getting all the views and stuff like that and it's like you. Realize you control, how. Much support they get right just like I said in the beginning of this video you guys if you decided right now hey, I hate Amy I don't want to show her support anymore if all of you unsubscribed, that's it like I would be done so. It's like the same people who are complaining, about shady, youtubers, or fake youtubers, are the same people who continuously. Are giving them a view giving. Them a like or a dislike or. Giving, them a comment if you do not like something do. Not. Enable. It do not engage do. Not like. Literally, you're, saying you hate something and yet you're giving it fuel, like, that person is literally just continuing, to grow there, are so many amazing. Influencers. Out there that deserve, that. Support, you, know what I mean like I just want to see people stop complaining. About things they have control over like you guys get to choose who. Gets, your views who gets your likes who gets your comments, you know they need it so like weird to me I'm just like there's literally so many other youtubers you can watch who. Deserve, the. Attention you, know and honestly, that's just why I stay in my lane like a lot people are like why.

Don't You go to beauty events why don't you go to on trips and stuff and I've told you guys before it's just not who I am and I, got to the point where I was like I refuse, to get. Sucked into something, where, I pretend to not be Who I am like. At the end of the day I started, YouTube for the real raw reasons, like I started YouTube to literally create videos and put them on the Internet and I just feel like nowadays it's, all about like the glitz the glam who. Can buy more cars who. Can go, to more events and I'm, not like I think of the day we all got to do what we feel like doing but. I just feel like it's become, more about that and I feel like a lot of the times I've talked to you guys a little bit about this but I feel like a lot of times I've always held back in the past on talking. About that because I never wanted to come across as bitchy or like ungrateful. I mean I'm definitely grateful when I get invited on brand trips and they get invited to all these events but do I think it's just gone to a point where it's like too much in a way I do feel, like it's just gotten to be too much just there's just too many, like. There's. Too much I've, avoided talking about this too, much because I never want it to come across as bitchy or ungrateful, and, I'm really not a bitchy, person, I'm like really, laid-back I'm a really chill girl you guys even know that which is another thing I want to talk about like. Lately I've been seeing um, you. Guys know I never addressed like negativity because I literally really, don't care but I do want to address a few things that I feel like just go around lately. I've been seeing I'm, just gonna go ahead and start doing like this foundation it's like literally, heavenly, so, I'm gonna go ahead and just start doing my concealer, so lately I feel like I've been seeing a lot of comments of, like. People, comparing. My personality. To a lot of different other youtubers, or comparing, my personality, to my sister, my, sister now does YouTube and I can't tell you how much we get compared it is so annoying, but not even just her look I get compared to so many other youtubers and this, makes me so anxious to talk about because, it's. Like why do you got to do that like you know when you're growing up as a kid if you have siblings and you know what I'm talking about if you're an only child you're gonna be like what I don't even know what you're talking about but if you have siblings you know exactly what I'm about to say you know when your mom and dad compare you and they're like well your sister does this well, your brother did this and you're like mom stop, comparing, me that, is literally, what it's like to be a youtuber like like, when. I say you guys to I don't, mean my true supporters, I mean like you, know the random negative, seize that love to compare they, compare youtubers, and it's like please like do not compare me to Suzy and Jon down the street because, Suzy and Jon ain't ain't me Macedo like I am me, do not compare me to other people it's, really, annoying like, it's super annoying I get, comments like well Amy Amy. Doesn't seem Amy doesn't seem as friendly. Or as bubbly, as so. And so or. This. Youtuber, does. This more, it's like really. Are we gonna compare, people now so, here's the thing, if, you're, coming to my channel and you literally, want me to be fake. You. Gotta go because I can't be fake I literally. Do not have, the capacity, and the capability to. Be, a fake person so, if you want me to pretend, to be a bubbly, person or, pretend, to be this like. Person. That's not who I am and I'm not gonna fake it and let me tell you I'm not trying to throw shade but, there's a lot, of youtubers, out there I'm really not trying to throw shade here like I'm really not if I could talk to them I would, help them I really genuinely would there's, a lot of youtubers out there who are real with their personnel and they are this like bubbly hyper person but, there's a lot of youtubers, out there that.

Literally, Have to put on this persona of being such a bubbly, happy, funny. Go, lucky person every, time they film could you imagine how exhausting, that is I could, not do it and. I don't think they do it to be fake again I'm not throwing shade I don't, think they do it to be fake because, I feel like a lot of them do it because they feel like they have to because, they get comments, like that and I, can totally relate like you know how many times I'm like I get like caught up in my head a little bit like I'm like well maybe maybe, I do need to be a little bit more bubbly. In my videos and then instantly, the, real like I got the real bitch over here and the bitch over here that's trying to conform my, real bitch side is like bitch, you ain't conforming to if that's not your personality that ain't your personality, like I'm not conforming, to what people want me to be so, like literally the little like conformer. On this side it's like maybe. Be bubbly, maybe, you should pretend to be what they want you to be real. Bitches like no I am doing it again if you want me to be fake. I'm. Not the one for you can, you guys tell this. Has been on my mind I'm just like exploding. Hi. Sugar baby. Yeah. If you want me to be fake I'm sorry, it's not possible so you're gonna have to unsubscribe like real, straight, up you I can't, be anyone, other than me, you, know what I mean and this is the thing with me my personality of a lot of you guys have noticed I have. Like multiple personalities, like I'll wake up on one day and I'm like super silly and like crazy and weird and then, I'll wake up on another day and I'm really shy and kind of like quiet and like anxious and then. I wake up another day and I'm like God. Bitch glam status, like I literally, have so many different personalities. And, I'm just I'm never gonna fake any one of them it's, not gonna happen but, not even just that I just want people in general when you come to my channel know that you're gonna get a me know, that you're going to get a me Macedo and I'm never going to pretend to be other youtubers, and actually the reason why I wanted to I feel like the lighting is like weird in this video or I could be obsessing, over it chances, are I'm obsessing, over it cuz I always do that I let my little remote thing here like I literally, obsess, over it and like play. With the lighting, anyways. I'm, probably gonna walk this footage back can be like Amy the lighting was fine so. This is why I kind of wanted to talk about this too because. In my truth about weight loss video um I. Talked. To you guys about how I want it to be more, myself and what I meant by that I feel like a few people where I hate looking for my brush I, feel. That a few people took that in the wrong way but a lot of you guys took, it like saw what I meant but a few of you guys thought. That took, it the wrong way I saw some comments where some people were like yeah I would love to see you like loosen, up more and be, more happy, and silly so I feel like a few people thought that's what I meant and that's not what I meant what, I meant by more myself is just be, sometimes. I feel like I think too, much about what I say which I really, am trying to stop that but I'll be rude with you guys the, art culture in 2000 18 is the, culture the right word maybe I don't know our, generation right, now it does not make that easy because everybody, is so freaking, sensitive, about everything, you can't make jokes about anything you, cannot talk about anything without people like latching.

On To something twisting, it and like, thinking you're a horrible, person so, I feel, like lately, I. Think. So much about what I'm about to say like you guys will notice and a lot of my videos there's a lot of like edits and cuts. And sometimes. I'm like wow Amy you can't even just get out a full sentence, because, you're. Like thinking about what you're gonna say and if it's going to offend anybody in making, sure but, not even that like sometimes I'll just be talking about a setting. Spray and, I'm like wow I like, you can't even say, something. Fluently. Because. In my head I'm always so worried about saying the right thing and. Um. You, know what I mean that's what I meant about more myself like I want to stop giving a thought like you know I didn't mean really I just feel like nowadays you just you can't say so it just makes people as a human. Feel. Confined. And, not. Free, and not open, and not real and not raw and I loved samantha's, video um on, YouTube where she said I, can't, remember the title of it but, she said people love the truth until. It, doesn't sit well with them or something like that not word for word or whatever people love the truth until. It's something did they don't want to hear it's, like really are you that, insecure. Of, a person or close-minded, have a person the thing with me is I can be friends with so many different people like I can be friends with people of different religion. People have different political views people have different morals people have different values. People of different, places. Of life and I feel like nowadays people don't have that they, want you to think the same as them be the same religion at them be have the same political view with them um do, the same thing of them just they we just like really have created this culture where. We just want everyone to walk around like a bunch of robots and everyone, be the same and say the same things and do the same things nobody think differently because, god forbid if you think earlier cancelled, its, created, the and you know what's so funny and, the same thing that Samantha said everyone's, always like preach, say. The truth be honest, but. Nobody, leaves, room for that nobody. Like, we haven't created the space for honesty, anymore there's no space for it because you get cancelled, the second, you think a little bit differently than someone it's insane. So let's, stop telling, people we want the honest truth and we want everyone to be rod we want everyone to be real because the second people are wrong real and it's a little bit different than what you wanted to hear everyone. Loses their, you, know what I mean so you'll. Want the truth until, you don't like it anymore and I personally, hate that I'm, really, like it's, funny cuz me my boyfriend my me my boyfriend of my sister talk about all the time about. Like our different personalities my. Personality, they always tell me is I'm a realist. Like my boyfriend my sister always tell me that and I would definitely say that I'm a realist, I'm not a negative person and I'm not a positive person so when I look at situations. I don't automatically go that's, gonna be bad and I don't go that's gonna be amazing I'm always just like what. Are the facts here what's, like you know I really, look at the real side things and I look at the pros that I look at the cons so I would definitely say I'm a realist, so it really bothers me that we've created this culture where we cannot be real about, like you know what I mean it's, so annoying so let's stop saying you want the truth from people unless you're really ready to accept it you know I mean you, know what's crazy I went a little bit dark on my tan today that this foundation is a little bit light on me um I just noticed, like there was a while there which I feel like it's changing now and I'm really happy about it like Shane Dawson is coming out with so much more rod reel videos like I feel like the content on YouTube for, a while was really stale and it was really like becoming.

A Lot about views, I need to move on or else I'm never gonna finish my makeup it. Was becoming a lot more about views which I got sucked into a little bit there I started. To do videos where I was like doing. Them just. For the sole purpose of. What. Would get views and hey, listen obviously I'm making videos because I enjoy it or otherwise, I would get a different career I went to college I could have pursued my career and what I went to college for, obviously. I love doing videos we know that but the fact is it's my job so I, make money off of videos so you're going if you make money off of videos you're going to may try to make the most of it try to do videos that that, get the most views in whatever so, for a while there I kind of got sucked into that and it's. Because YouTube, took a really big dip, with like the algorithm, and everything like that it, just took a very big dip where it was really hard to get views like. It. Was hard like a lot of youtubers quit a lot, of youtubers. Didn't. Delete their Channel but stopped making videos because they could not make ends meet anymore and I feel for them my, channel took a dip but it wasn't an extreme. Dip but it did take a dip like in. Hmmm. My, channel was doing good when I first moved in here like around 2016. But in 2017. My channel really wasn't getting that many views again. It wasn't getting horrible. Views but, it was like good it was close to like bad to average wasn't horrible but wasn't bad to average and it wasn't good to average, or amazing, so it was kind of like slowly, going under what I really didn't want it to be so. At, that point you start to overthink. An you start to go oh my god maybe I need to do this type of video so, I did, really start to conform and I started creating videos with like crazy come now so not a lot because I always just felt kind of like I was trying too hard but. I did at. One point conform, a little bit and. I did really try my hardest to get. Views and I conformed, to that and I feel like for a while YouTube, was that space it, was really hard to get people to notice your videos and it still really is but I feel like things have shifted whereas. For a while there people were doing that they were doing like the outrageous, thumbnails, the overly. Trying to get views the clickbait titles which, I'm. Gonna talk about clickbait titles but, yeah. I feel like for a while people were doing that, but. I feel like things are shifting I stopped. Doing it personally, months, ago because I was like I can't do it anymore a me like it was draining me and I found, I was, like looking at myself in the mirror and I was like why don't you have that fire, and that passion anymore and I realized it's because I was, thinking. Of it more as a job and less and I know it sounds really corny they do believe that when it comes to this field that I'm in with you too creativity. It doesn't come from a lot a logical, place it comes from the heart it fuels right through you it comes from your energy, your spirit, your heart what you feel so. I was, like Amy you really need to let down your guard like, let down that like logical, practical side of you and, follow. Your heart again because when I first started doing YouTube that's what I did I felt in my heart I was like whatever content, I got inspired by that. Was the content I put up you. Know and it, worked so well for me but again I just kind of got sucked into one, thing YouTube took a dip and stuff like that I thought my nose is so itchy again like why so. Then I just I couldn't, do it anymore I was like I need to get back to that place where this, is probably gonna be a long video this camera's been reporting for like 28 minutes I need. To get back to that place where I film, what's in my heart and what really like I'm passionate, about and you can tell like lately, now for the I've stopped doing that like months ago and for the past few months I've just been doing content, that I love and.

You. Can tell when you watch my videos now but I'm so, happy, to present them and that like I really believe in what I'm saying you know what I mean and it, just feels so much better but not only that I've always believed, that people can sense the energy you put out and it. What. Goes around comes around and the energy you put out is the energy you get so, because, now I am being so, much more real with my content and I'm really putting out content that I love, and that I'm passionate about and I'm not trying, so hard. People. Are responding, like you. Guys my supporters, are, always there I've real supporters, aren't there when. My channel takes a dip when my channel is high when. I'm going through this when I'm going through that but other. People, like new subscribers, that I gained you, attract, new people because they can see that your content is real and. That. You are passionate about what you're doing sorry my camera just shut, off because it only records, for like 30 minutes or 29, or something like that's one and a half I think anyways. Yeah so people can sense when. You're being like real and, passionate. And not fake and you attract more people and my channel has been doing very well because of it so, I realized, that that's just what I got to stick with I gotta stick with just doing what I want to do and being, raw and. Being, real and not worrying about views, like I honestly I don't care about views anymore I'm very satisfied with my channel and I'm so satisfied with the community, that I have of, course, I want my channel to grow but I will, say I'm so happy with where I might analyst at right now I, don't. Even want to cry like I literally I cannot do it I can't do it can't. Freakin do it. Like. I literally just did my concealer and not this k'kaw, concealer, is not cheap. I'm, so happy with where, my channels out right now like you guys are freaking, amazing the, amount of. Positivity. And support that, I get it's, so overwhelming. I can't talk about it I'm sorry I'm like really awkward and weird when I talk about my feelings and. When I get emotional so I can't I literally, cannot handle, it, being emotional. You, know what's crazy I used to be such an emotional person but then I I started, dating over go seven years ago my. Boyfriend my Curtin boyfriend still now when. You start dating a Virgo let me tell you something a. Transform. Yeah they. Turned you from emotional, person to a logical, analytical person, no, I always had that little part of me but I used to be such an emotional prison but anyways, we're getting like off topic you so yeah, I just I feel so much happier with my content and I'm really happy with the, subscribers, that I have right now like I don't care about views anymore and actually I don't want to say I don't care it always feels good when your videos get like a ton of views it feels good cuz I think more people are seen your content so I don't want to say I don't care but, it's not what fuels me anymore and it was at one point and I'm so happy I've gotten to the place where it's. Not what fuels me anymore you didn't mean I'm. Really happy and another thing I want to talk about is, sponsorships. Because. That's another reason why I love you guys so much so I know a lot of there's. Been a lot of talk about sponsorships, and how much things, cost and, everything which can I just say and I'm really literally I'm not throwing shade to anyone in this video by the way I literally don't I don't, care enough to throw shade it's just not that you, know I'm not gonna good person um. But. Am, I the only one who feels like weird talking about how much money. I make like it's just I've always felt very violated like, I don't want to talk about how, much money I make I've always thought it was a pretty private but here we are September. 2018, everything's, out of the bag like everyone, is. Exposing. My god. That sounds so like. What's. That word like rhonchi no I don't know whatever. Here. We are where, people are literally drop in numbers and drop in figures and. They're, real but anyways I'm not gonna talk about how much money I specifically made cuz I don't even tell my parents how much money I make the only person that knows is me and my. Man cuz we are together we, live together we are a partnership. You, don't I mean like I just it's, just not something that, I, tell people though, cuz I've always felt, there was a bit of. A private matter but here we are everybody, everybody's, been talking about it now and Marlena, dropped a number of 60k, which I want, to say not every youtuber makes this 60k, on every sponsorship, it's very like depending, I've always said that to guys like their, sponsorships, and certain, like.

There's Certain sponsorships, I do where I make a lot and there's some where I don't make as much because it just depends the type of sponsorships, what channel, that's going on my vlog channel or my main channel and blah, blah blah, you. Know so it just know that not every every time someone does a sponsorship oh my god 60k it's like I'm pretty, sure when. Marlena said 60k, I don't know who exactly she was talking about but. I I'm pretty sure she was talking about the, youtubers, of like millions of subscribers so. Don't think that every youtuber makes that but yeah that's a real number like when when she said that I was like yeah 60 K like that's the price like. Real, cuz I look at how much I charge and I, have about how. Much of, 820. Ish char like 18, K, and I. Get about a hundred to. Twelve average views if you do the calculation. So. I. Look at that and I look at how much I charge and then I look at their stats and I'm like yeah, 60 K like that's you, know teeny that's what. I would charge if I was them and I know that outrages. Some people, I really. Do I get that an outrageous, some people we gotta be real here right I'm a realist, I'm realist, here let's be real. Just like Samantha said there, would not be. There. Would not that would not exist if there was not demand for it and that's just the fact it's just like the celebrity, culture right that's, a lot of people like some about celebrities make so much money it's ridiculous, they. Make so much money because you guys create, the demand for it as a culture we create a demand, for it it's. Almost like. If. Everyone stopped watching movies, literally. Like if every single person on this planet stopped watching movies. Actors. And actresses would be out of a job but, that's not the case though we still love to watch movies we still love to watch the Grammys the. The, Oscars the VMA is we, follow all these celebrities and it's good like we, provide. A market, for it just, like. Just. Like we provide a market for YouTube and for influencers and for social media influences, so the money is there because, the demand is there because the market is their brands. Wouldn't, pay 60 K. If. It.

Wasn't Worth it if the demand, was not there it's it's worth it for them they are making more than 60 K they're giving 60 K to a youtuber, to, promote their products but them they're making more back, you. Know it's worth it things are shifting now things, are shifting before. Things. Were all about like the fake videos with the with the clickbait thumbnails me outrageous, like crazy you know just not real content, and now people, are really putting out real content, that they're really, actually passionate about like, real, you know and I, love that because that, creates I mean. I with that like it's creating such an awesome, real. Platform. In culture I really, am lucky I feel a lot of people are saying that YouTube has changed in its bag yeah, but open up your eyes YouTube is shifting and it's good it's shifting, I will, say I get what people are saying when they say that I I get I'm not you. Know I get it there's a lot of youtubers who have really created, this weird culture where things are just fake and phony but. If you shift, you, know unsubscribe, to those people stop watching their videos and. With the real people like look at the real people like Shane Dawson he's created, such like his channel lately he's. Putting, out real. Like that people are really loving and it's just it's it's it's, organic. Content, so switch stop, poking, on those people and focus on that that's, where I'm like wow YouTube is shifting and it's going in a good direction. We. Can just ignore those people which I think where we're shifting out the fake, and we're bringing the real in it's. Starting, to just I feel like the content, was what I'm saying is it's becoming more organic, and I. Really love it you know another, thing I wanted to talk to you guys about is a couple comments that I've seen which. I, don't want you guys to take this as me addressing, negative comments at all I feel the way I take this is, dialogue. This is just dialogue this is just us like let's talk let's show like like, the way you would talk to your friends if you guys have a problem with each other like let's just talk about it you know that's the way I look at this I don't see it as anything negative at all so. I have seen some comments of some people saying like I miss your but, actually it hasn't been too many oh can, we reverse back to sponsored videos so another thing I want to talk about yeah so I'm never gonna disclose exactly how much I make cuz I just feel like that's a little bit like I, mean. Do you guys go around and tell people how much money you make do you like, I'm genuinely I'm actually genuinely, um look at this new funky highlight. I'm. Gonna try it today but first I'm gonna apply this feel, like--that's to like me anyways I'm. Genuinely, wondering, like let me know in the comments down below do you guys tell people how much money you mean I feel. Like it's always like a tap like a it's, just a topic that I feel like it's kind of right it's almost like your sex life what. You don't talk about those things right I don't know actually, okay, I'm crazy um, anyways, so, first, I'm gonna just apply these liquid, drops oh my. God this is beautiful I have to tell you guys what this is I don't want to stop talking cuz I'm like on a roll but this is the 90s, highlight, in by, Annie, Annie, Cosmetics I believe it's called oh my god. Wow. That's so beautiful okay. I really, love this yes. So when, it comes we have such a good relationship. That. I. Never. Get hate for doing sponsored videos I never. Do and, I, really, is that like I sat down the other day and I was like I see. A lot of comments sometimes where some people get hate for doing sponsored videos which I hate by the way because it's like really let's start like who are you to come oh my god you see that highlight. I'm. Feeling myself anyways. Yeah who are you to, come in between someone else's bag someone else's coin. What. Shameful. Like issues wrong look let's, not but. I do see, how some people have an issue when, people are being fake and stuff and you know what hey, I'll be the first one to say you, are your best you are your own best, judge. Whatever I'm probably I'm, like I don't even know I'm saying you, are you know who you can trust like we have this thing called intuition, and gut and you know who you can trust so if you're following a youtuber, where you're like she, always says sponsored videos I hate it so much like I hate this and then when someone's like why you hate it that's dumb why do you hate it well, I hate it because it's fake and I don't trust it okay, then you need to unsubscribe to that person I'm gonna tell you that right now you need to add subscribe to them because, you should only subscribe, to people who you know that when they do sponsored, videos it's real, as ass.

Like Literally you know. What I mean do you what I'm saying here like I'm, gonna try the fenty thank you but I'm just gonna like top it off, cuz. It's like really pale you know I get, the argument of, like well the reason why people don't like sponsored, videos or just cuz some people are fake when they do it I totally, get that argument I really, genuinely do, seriously. So. Now my opposing, argument. Or my solution, I guess is why, do you follow them then unfollow, them unsubscribe, to them you, should only subscribe. To. Influences. Do you know you could trust and then that's it we're done here because I mean honest with you guys I never. Get. And I am so like thankful. For the relationship, we have I never, get. Hate for doing sponsored videos, never. And. I realize it's because we have such a good relationship like. We. Have such a good relationship do. You guys trust me like the the, bond that we have is super, like a friend. Vibe I always reply to your guys's comments I always reply to your DM your questions. We. Just were friends, I would never recommend my friend products that I that I genuinely, didn't, like and you, guys know that so, I just don't get hate for it so I just want to say like I I just wanted to point that out because I am so, grateful, for that I really am because. You guys are not trying to come in between my coin like you already know if, I, do a sponsored video it's because I love that product and I want to share it with you guys the same way I share products that I'm not sponsored by so. Yeah let me get back to what I was saying about the makeup, video, so, I've been getting a few comments not too many but a few comments of some people will be like oh I. Missed your makeup videos so much all you upload lately is fitness. Videos or weight loss videos, please. Go back to your old content, and stuff like that and again it hasn't been a large, amount, but I've seen a few of them I have. Decided to create, content, I am genuinely, passionate about, like, before I used to be like okay what what videos am I gonna do and it was like only make up only make up only make up and I have gotten to the point where I, love. Makeup like I love, makeup, I really. Do I love it so much, but. I also have other two interests now ever since I lost weight I'm really into fitness I'm Willie and really into weight loss and health and just like more lifestyle, content and, I also have a little bit more to fashion now my interests, are growing is what I'm saying and I cannot, hold. Myself down, to only doing one certain type of content, just, to please people that's what I was doing at one point it's only doing certain type, of content, just, to please. People I can't. Do it anymore you. Know what I mean I just can't so I still, love makeup and I still do makeup videos like all the time but I only do makeup videos now that I am passionate about, like. Before, for a while i was doing makeup videos that i kind of just like forced myself to do so i was kind of like doing so many testing. New favourites videos and at one point i was just kind of like i'm not really - like i'm not vibing with this right now which don't get me wrong I still love doing testing, new favorites videos though but. I have to genuinely, like there has to be this genuine, passion, and want to try, those products and a lot of the times there, wasn't that genuine, passion, to want to try some of those products, there, are a few new products that I have, though in my new product section where, I'm so excited to try like I really I have this like real, desire, and wanted to try them so, I'm probably gonna do a testing, new products video soon but. I was just doing so many, testing, new products video got at that point it just became like okay like what new oh that's new I'll try that for this video that I'm gonna do it wasn't, like I can't, wait to try this so, I just as, I'm doing the video I'm like. Don't. Feel the passion like, they're just you know there wasn't that thing so.

At Some point I was like why am i doing videos that I'm not like in love with you, know so now every. Week I'm like I do whatever, videos, I am genuinely. Creatively. Inspired to, do that week and whether those Ducks makeup fashion or fitness or lifestyle, that's what happens, that's, what I'm gonna do I can't. Do, my. Brows and talk I've said this two times before I can't I gotta turn up the turn. Off the camera and I will be right back. Everyone. Is asking me I really hope my brows turned out good cuz like any time I do it you check over to me I just I can't get the brows the joys I think they look ok though, everybody's. Asking me whose side, am I on team Nicki or team Carney you. Guys I am right in between like. I'm right in the middle staying. Neutral love, them both I think they both got a few things they need to work on let's. Be peaceful here that's, where I fan I'm team, neutral, team. Neutral so I was just thinking while I was doing my brows that, I think I just need to I think I'm gonna be able to be myself more again, not in the way we're like all happy until a because that's not who I am when I say myself I mean I'm. Not gonna be fake and try to act like anybody else but what I said when I say that what I mean is. Be. Able to just say, thing and just speak my truth without, worrying, so much about offending. Everyone but with every single word like you know I mean just being able to like let loose a little bit and not overthink, what I'm saying all the time but, I think what's gonna help me is I think I have to just realize that, not. Everybody, is going to get me all, the time and maybe some things that I say hey maybe there are gonna be some people that just take it out of context, and try, to be all negative but I have to be ok with that sorry I'm gonna like sneeze I have. To be okay, with. That and. I, think once I'm okay with that then, I'm gonna stop giving a you know I'm saying cuz sometimes I wanna like my. Real personality like, I'm super sassy and I'm sure you guys can tell it in this video I'm like I'm super sassy like, but. A lot of times I don't show that because. I'm like well I don't want them to think I'm being a bitch, but. Amy I your sassy, show the sass they show the sass here let's not hide the sass you, know what I mean but a lot of times I don't want it to be misconstrued and. I don't want people to think of the wrong way and, it's like how much I am I gonna filter my personality, how, much am I gonna filter my personality, to please other people and in, fear of what people are gonna say like really are someone I'm going to start doing now you know I just I can't do it anymore, really just cannot so, I think what that's gonna come with and me realizing. Hey yeah you know what some, people aren't gonna like you some, people are gonna be negative about it but. At the end of the day there's. Gonna be people that with it I like even in this video, like. In the back of my mind I'm, afraid to. Upload it a little bit because in the back of my mind I'm like oh god like my energy is super turnt in this video like I got really heated, about certain topics or a little sassy, or I'm really you know speaking my truth and I mean we're on I'm being real and can, some people handle that like you, know the fact is somebody we're gonna take that and consume is construed it but, even with this video I'm just like are.

People, Gonna think that I'm like too turnt and, like are, people gonna think I'm being negative like, you know I'm saying like. You. Just you always I always just have that where I'm like I don't want to. Be. Misunderstood. Type of thing but. Again I'm just gonna have to realize hey yeah not everyone's gonna understand, you and that's okay I feel like I've talked about like all the all of real deep. I wanted to talk about um the. Other thing I really wanted to quickly talk about is boob. Job let's, talk plastic, surgery, so. I know plastic surgery isn't like a huge trend and I. Don't. Know it's kind of crazy that it's become a trend like why are we anyways. Just this what it is so. Um, but I've talked to you guys about how I've always wanted a boob job since, I was like since I could remember I don't know if I was 16 or 14 I don't know but ever since I I grew to that age where like cuz you know when you're younger you don't even care but your body look I'm talking like 12 10 like you know we really start to like think about that stuff but I just start to get older so like I would say in my like preteens, to teens I started, noticing my, boobs were just like crazy, I've. Talked about it before my boobs are super, saggy number, one I but we've had big boobs they, used to be a this. Is crazy - one of my boobs and I know everyone, everyone. Know boobs are even some like you know they're always a little bit bigger mine. Are a full size so, one is it one was a D and one was a double D now. I have a C and a D, so. My boobs are uneven, one of them is a lot bigger and again I know I know boobs are not even everyone's, boob has one bigger but mine is like literally a full, maybe. Not a full size but definitely not a half like in between they're almost a full size bigger so. I've always had one that's bigger, they are extremely. Saggy, and. Very. Triangular. Just very weird shaped I've always hated my boobs ever since like I was growing up I've always hated them was. Never blessed with good titties just, wasn't so, I've always wanted a boob job but I never thought it was really serious about it until, I started losing weight, now. My, boots are like a Sienna, D and they're really. Really. Empty. Ish like they're, just even more saggy since I lost 43. Pounds, they're. Even more saggy now and I'm. Really unhappy with them because it's like I'm putting in all this work to better, my lifestyle, but also to get my body right look I've lost 43, pounds I'm, in the process of getting my dream body and really getting this body fit and in shape and, I, look in the mirror and my body is looking it's starting to look like amazing you know it's starting to look good and everything and then I just there's, just feels big old titties that just ain't in place like that just still bother me so it's like I'm putting in all this work to, get my body right in the, boob situation, still, bothers, me it still makes me insecure, so.

I Really. You guys know I have like this I don't even know what to call it but I have this really like this fear, of like, hospitals, and surgery and I just don't like it you know I don't like that whole situation so, I I, hate, even thinking about having to get a boob job and, going under the knife and stuff I really hate about thinking about that but, I really think that it's going to make me more confident, and happier but I also I don't know I don't. Know what to do I don't know if I should just get a breast lift okay. So, I have to just do my lashes off cam I'm gonna let the glue dry and I'll probably touch, it up so yeah I feel really good like oh my god I feel less anxious I don't know if you guys could tell but I'm less anxious, like. I got so much things so many things off my, chest. Which is good and. That's, pretty much it I already did my hair even, though I have some. And a little bit oh. I. Forgot to do setting spray, I. Always. Do this this is the glam glow. Setting. Spray. Oh. Yeah. So. That, is pretty much it for this jacket ready with me I feel so much better I feel like I've got so many things off, my chest, and I feel good now yeah. So hopefully you guys enjoyed this, video I love to chatting with you guys and make. Sure you leave down below what your thoughts are because I feel like there's a lot of topics to talk about so I love how we can just have dialogue I love, we, love people who can be mature and just have dialogue right so so just go ahead and leave your comments down below what, your thoughts are and just be super broughton real but respectful, of course as always this video is super long but I realized, like I'm not gonna cut very much of this video out because, I feel like I'm gonna be filtering, you know I'm saying I'm gonna be cutting things out filtering. And you guys are not gonna get the full thing look let's just I'm gonna, keep most of the footage in this video is probably gonna be extremely long like I'm talking 30-plus. Possibly, close to 40 but, oh well anyways. Hopefully you guys enjoyed, this video I absolutely loved it thank you guys for watching and I will see you guys in my next video bye guys.

2018-09-15 00:45

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