My Advice For People In Their 30s
all right welcome back to the channel max torno here and in this video i want to talk about my advice for you if you're in your 30s i'm about to turn 31 in a couple weeks and uh i've had my fair share of talking to people that are wide into their 30s and um you know over the last couple years my target audience has become progressively older from my very first business the dating advice business where i was predominantly dealing with people between 25 and 35 i'm now dealing with predominantly people between 35 plus maybe 45 and what i see so many times with men especially but people in general in their 30s is there's a lot of things going on that makes them kind of give up makes them settle down that makes them slow down whereas in your 20s you're out to get your fair share of what the world has to offer to you you have more energy you're willing to take more risks and oftentimes by the time people turn 30 it's kind of this magical number where they're like okay now i'm ready to be in an adult and that means you know no more crazy dreams go down the safe route yada yada and ultimately i see a lot of people just starting to give up in their 30s and the reason why i wanted to talk about this is i want to give you a little bit of an anecdote and it was one of my very first speeches that i've ever given with my first business and it was actually in honolulu hawaii and it was a fairly small speech i think it was maybe 30 40 people there or something like that and i was there as an assistant i was still an unpaid assistant but the person that i worked for was they missed their flight i think and then i was supposed to kind of run the thing i set up the camera and let everybody into the room and then i just started talking and it was cool because i was supposed to meet this other guy who was well in this third he's fairly successful and was somebody that i was looking up to and that person was supposed to speak after me so i was kind of supposed to warm up the crowd i think for the first 60 to 90 minutes and then i was told that person would just make themselves noticed and then you know take over from there and i didn't know what that person looked like all i all i had was a number and a text message and we kind of texted back and forth and he said like yeah you just do your thing and then i'll take over and you know me and my i must have been 22 early 20s i said you know okay that's fine so i started the speech and um it was pretty good and you know i i warmed up the crowd and i got some laughs and i got some props and i gave some value at least i hope i did and i was i was really happy with it and i got a lot of props afterwards too people came up to me and said hey this is cool it's well done and i kind of had the reputation back then of like becoming the new thing and uh that's also important for the for a point of the message and anyways it was interesting because as i was giving that speech i was looking into the crowd and i was wondering which one of these guys is the guy who's supposed to get on stage after me and i saw a lot of naive looking faces a lot of hopeful faces a lot of would you say like on the inexperienced young faces and then i saw this one guy in the crowd who just kind of had the stare just like this like i've been through a lot kind of stare and i and i had a feeling i think that's the guy who's later on gonna go on stage that's the guy i've been told uh that is kind of like this legendary guy and there's more much more experience than me and funny enough it was actually that guy later that guy just got up and as i'm like wrapping up he came up to me and he shook my hands and did it up and what was interesting was the way he opened his speech because i had put the bar quite high in terms of energy and fun and and emotions and it was very interesting because he gave me a lot of props which i really appreciated and he said you know hey you know props to this new guy max and we've been hearing a lot of good things about him but i'm gonna tell you one thing max how old are you and i think i said at 22 or something like that and he said you know it's great that you're doing these things at 22 because when you're doing well in your 20s or especially in your early 20s everybody's surprised and everybody says oh good for this guy he's already crushing it but if you had delivered the exact same speech in your 30s nobody would give a damn everybody would expect you to be at the highest level or at least at the level that you are right now which is relatively you know getting there everybody would expect you to be there when you're 30 nothing in this world is given to you because everything is expected of you you're 30 now you're not in your 20s anymore you don't have the excuse of being young anymore you don't have the excuse of oh he or she is finding themselves you're supposed to have it all figured out yet and that's the point of the story and i think once we turn 30 we kind of either have that realization on our birthdays or around our birthdays or hopefully we gradually grow into that but ultimately we all kind of fall into this mindset of like oh geez there's a three in front of my there's the number three now as the first number of my age i'm supposed to have it all figured out and then there's two things that happen number one we feel the pressure if we haven't figured it out yet and number two if we have kind of figured it out we kind of feel like we're not supposed to change anymore we're supposed to you know this is it and i don't know exactly why that is probably a socio-economic or social cultural factors maybe because your parents were fairly young when they got you i know this for myself when you know my dad was in his 30s you already had three kids i don't have any and it's you know it it creates this false perception of like you're supposed to be so much further in life and you're supposed to be kind of settling down and when you're in your 20s you also kind of think your life is yours forever like this is it's gonna you're i'm gonna stay young forever you know and when you're 30 you kind of start thinking about like okay halfway through 30 plus 30 or 60. my grandpa is 60 or was 60 when i was young and so on and so forth and i think my advice number one is don't give up don't settle in it's not too late to for example build your first business if you're 30. you know maybe you've been working at your job where you're right now for five ten years already and you're like okay this is it i'm gonna stay there for my whole life because if i ought to build a business i should have done it five years ago 10 years ago when i'm 21 and 25 and so on so forth but i don't i don't agree when you're 30 i mean there's so many people who can absolutely still build something when they're 30 and that's okay just get away from this thing of like you got to be 20 and very risk aware and you gotta just just do it all there when you're 20 and you have much less responsibility and so on so forth no the hell with that i think even when you're 30 especially then it also has a lot of advantages because people take you much more seriously this is interesting too when i was making my very first million at the age of 26 and i would be you know in places like uh a lounge at the airport people would have thought like like who the hell let this guy in you know it was usually predominantly older people elderly women middle aged people and then there was this 20 something year old with a man bun and the jurassic park tank top and i would people would stare at me and they're like who the hell at this guy and what is he doing there and then you know when you're successful in your 20s they think you either made it with crypto or with drug dealing or something like that but very few people actually imagine you built having built a legitimate business that is helping thousands of people around the globe but then once you're 30 and you kind of look the part especially for me because after my four world tours i started getting white grayish hair on the side i'm sure you can see that as my girlfriend she continuously counts them she's like there's one more now hey you got more white hair i'm getting them on both sides now um yeah like i said i blame the world tours they're quite stressful and um yeah when you're 30 and and you kind of make it or you're a little bit more wealthy people can't expect it again like they're like okay this person is older so it makes sense and again it's it's kind of this this juggling of like it's easier for you when you're 30 but it's also harder it's easier on the outside because people perceive you as wise or as more experienced even if you have already all the experience and expertise in your 20s but on the other side on the inside what i see so many times is people just give up and i see this a lot with old friends of mine with people in my hometown you know um they have finished high school or they finished middle school and then they started you know getting a manual labor job that they start with 15 16 and you know and they legit have been doing this for 15 16 17 years now and i see that with them is the routine of having done the same for so many years has kind of nuzzled them into this lullaby state where they're just like dragging themselves up to work and they're walking the same street to the same place of work for last 15 years and it's that very routine that really starts grabbing its effect when you're 30 and then it's hard to get out of that routine right you see this a lot also when people are in their 30s that their bodies you know they stop growing that this testosterone production goes down and what often happens is people get fat you know you might have been okay with eating cheetos and drinking the occasional beer in the evening without ever doing any sports when you're 20 but when you're 30 these things kind of start piling up and now you're getting a little bit more you know well fuller and uh your body starts you know becoming lazier and you have troubles with your energy and especially then when you could go out there and conquer the world and people will take you seriously it's that much harder because you're lacking the energy because you're lacking the novelty and you just been lulled in through the countless nights of tv and relaxing there and and you know just not giving a dm anymore that's what i see a lot with people in their 30s so don't give up before you're even getting started and also the other thing that i see a lot with people in the 30s is they get bitter this is something i've noticed with myself so many times because there's only a finite amount of betrayal and lies that are going to be thrown at you when you're 20.
of course there's exceptions it could be that you've been through a lot in your 20s but that was an experience for me when i was 25 sure i've had my fair share of people trying to mess with me or you know people talking badly behind my back probably more than the average 25 year old but with 30 you have a bunch of extra years where people can mess with you and that really makes it easy for you to turn bitter on the whole world i see this so many times and i see this in myself i have definitely become a more bitter person than before and i'm really really pushing against that with a lot of conscious effort yet i'm bitterer than i was when i was 25 or 20 especially simply because with extra time inevitably you're gonna have more people messing with you you're gonna encounter more lies more people talking lies behind you spreading lies just more bs more more parts where people disappoint you people that you might have trusted more parts where you disappoint yourself where you know you should have taken the high road but you didn't because of ego because of stress because of being overworked because of being burnt out so it's really hard to not turn bitter at a certain age and i'm pretty sure it's going to get more difficult the older you get so i think you have to make more of a conscious effort not to turn bitter when you're 30. especially if you've been failing a lot you cannot do that and it's that much more important when you're 30 also which means the next point is to continuously increase your circle of influence that's not only the people that you influence but the people that influence you because i see this also that a lot of people when they're 30 you know they have their set of friends they have the three four friends that they've maybe made in their 20s in college or from high school still and that's it and we kind of stop to socialize and meet new people and this is also something i've learned especially over the last couple years since 2018 i've been a lot in this in my own little bubble where i had my partners my employees my mentors and i was extremely extremely aware of who i would let in into this bubble i was very quick to judge very quick to dismiss people like as whack or like now i don't need that or like why would i need new input i have everybody on my team or as my partners or as my mentors why the hell would i do that but over the last year i started to like kind of open the doors a little bit more and not dismiss everybody as whack and and and it was a very beautiful experience to be fully transparent with you especially here we're in cyprus right now uh we've been here for a month we're going to leave in two days and um even here you know i i land in cyprus and i post it on instagram and then in come the messages hey bro you're in cyprus let's hang out and blah blah blah and some messages well calibrated some messages less calibrated and i've turned everybody down except for like two or three people and i was very close to turn down these two three people as well but i had a common friend vouch for them and i was like you know what what the hell yeah let's go meet up you know and and this was like the first time in a very long time where i would just meet someone complete some complete stranger and being okay with that and and that fresh perspective was insane it was it was really really beautiful and i hadn't felt this feeling of like hey becoming friends with someone new i've really had didn't have that for a very long time and i'm a very open-minded person and i'm a person who who gets a lot of offers by people to hang out with so i i reckon it must be even more difficult if you don't have that so don't don't check box off the creative friends of a circle of friends mary box you know and just hap and that's it these are my friends this is my environment keep nurturing that environment keep getting new people into that environment keep having a fresh mind and again it kind of intertwines with what i said earlier don't be bitter because there was bitterness within me too it's like oh whack people reaching out trying to value leech you know like and there's a lot of valley leechers out there that are like oh you're in cyprus um me too can i come by and ask you a couple questions fyi this i'm not going to reply to this you know like can i add like nobody wants to hang out with someone that is going to ask them a couple questions as like on a side note for social calibration you know and and again like you turn bitter from like a thousand people doing that and then there's one person who doesn't necessarily say can i come by and leach a hell of a lot of value from you and ask you questions but there is somebody that says hey you know let's go hang out but because you've been turned bitter from these previous experiences it's very easy to let that fade into the non-weird requests and to be open and say you know what yeah cool let's hang out and and i've met a lot of new friends here in cyprus over the last month and i've also reconnected with a lot of old friends which i'm happy that i did because again if you stay in your in your environment and you cannot grow with that each and every environment can only give you a finite amount of growth because once you really know your mentors or your partners or the people that are on the same level as you there's only so much you can learn from them and if you then turn complacent and you say these are my friends and that's it what happens is you're cutting yourself off from all the potential new growth that you can make right and if i compare this with when you're in your 20s when you're in your 20s you probably start a new job or maybe you're starting a new business you're probably meeting more people maybe you're going to college you're constantly meeting new people so it's almost this given constant it's almost like you're taking it for granted and then when you're 30 as your your life becomes more routinized of course there's not going to be as many people coming into your life that are new so if you don't pay attention all of a sudden you will notice like hey hold on a minute like when was the last time i met someone new when was the last time i've i've exchanged ideas when was the last time i've really conquered my own ideas and really questioned my own ideas because someone that that more or less is different or radically different from my ideas is coming in so ask yourself watching this right now when was the last time that you have made new friends when was the last time you've exchanged ideas being on business and personal development or whatever with someone completely new and i'm not talking about some comment back and forth on social media i'm talking about really sitting down spending an afternoon or an evening with someone for a drink for water or just chilling at the pool and talking when was the last time you did that this is extremely important so don't turn bitter don't turn complacent don't give up and i think what what happens when you're in your 20s is life gives you it's almost like this life gives you this the this dough and you're forming your life from that dough that life gives you and that's what you're predominantly going to be used to doing in your 20s and then what happens with dough if you don't touch it it dries up and when it dries you can't really shape it anymore i'm not a doe expert if you're a baker now feel free to comment down below this is bs but what happens is you kind of shape it in kind of the life that you want if you're lucky it works out you know you make a couple million you meet the woman or man of your dreams you build a family and all that or you just travel the world you find your purpose right and it's good but most of the time that doesn't happen most of the time that dough is being shaped half fastly maybe 50 75 and it's okay it's good enough right and then you turn in your 30s and you kind of stop molding that dough and the dough starts trying and all of a sudden when you do want to get back to it it's very hard to kind of massage that dough back into being formable so don't stop massaging that dough into the shape you want it to be that is your life don't build a life in your 20s and then leave it at that in your authorities like i got this far in my 30s that's it i've got to stay here no now no keep fighting keep progressing keep working keep having an open mind keep reinventing yourself there are going to be certain parts of your life that are going to be stable you know maybe you found your dream partner and you're really sure you want to stay with that person and that's okay so that's one variable just kind of like clicking in place for that on a side note have an open mind nothing lasts forever you might be together for the next 20 years and then in your 50s you break up that's okay but there will always be other aspects of your life that maybe should not click in place yet and you have to continuously work to actually get to the next level and to be honest also maybe you will have new goals that you didn't even think about when you're in your 20s i know i certainly have new goals all right before we get into this by the way if you haven't followed me on my instagram account yet i'm just got off a live stream on my instagram i'm posting it every single day i think my streak is like three years on instagram stories or something like that so feel free to give a follow there i reply to all dms as long as they're not whack god truth be told right enough to get back to the topic i've been asked that a lot like max what are your goals now like in your 20s you've you've made a couple million you've you know traveled the world you've met your fair share of women and so on and so forth like what what other goal could there be you know and to be honest that was my goal for the longest time the crazy parties the traveling the wild nights the making the money to the seeing the world that was all i could ever wish for in my life and i got that and much more money wise i definitely didn't plan to make as much money as i have right now and i like it i like the fact that i'm making more because i was had quite humble goals and my ideas about making money were quite flawed and i was not thinking economically and so on so forth and then i had the strange period of my life where i felt the gravity of settling down and having no more goals i felt that and god knows i had every single excuse to settle down and take all the money and hoard it and then just live my life becoming fatter and lazier by the day i had every single excuse to do so also because i had a lot of mental weaknesses built up over years of touring i had every excuse to settle down and just throw it all away and just chill for once and people ask me so many times being on podcasts or interviews or in the dms or just in a private conversation what goals do you have now max and for a one or two year period i couldn't properly answer it i was kind of dancing around and i was like yeah maybe do what i keep doing derp dirt but i didn't really know it i didn't have that strong sense of purpose that i have right now again so i understand you if you're watching this and you feel like you don't have a purpose in your 30s anymore or not yet maybe you just missed that train of purposes you just kind of missed it and you've never gotten on to it i have been on that train i have fulfilled my purpose and then i was in this one or two year no man's land period where i was just like i don't know and again like i felt that pull to just settle down and just chill and get an apartment and that's it but thank god back then i had a little bit of a push by several people in my life that said why don't you do this you could make much more money and then i did it in the beginning and i was like yeah i like the money and and i like that i'm still doing this and now slowly but steadily this new purpose has built up and i'm very happy that i have this newfound purpose now and it's crazy because sometimes i speak to aunts or my grandmother and they're like what are you doing now like you have this new you know you just keep pushing you know like hell boy you know what are you doing you keep pushing you never stop are you um and it's beautiful it feels just like back in the days when i'm in my 20s you know i'm i'm much more well established now i've experienced much more good things i've experienced a hell of a load of bad things i have become more resilient i have become more stress averse i i am physically stronger mentally stronger and funny enough do i have more energy now i have different energy i have more i have wiser energy i can push as hard as i pushed in my 20s even though i think it's harder for me because i have more distractions i have more responsibilities i have more people distracting me and have more duties that distract me so it's i have to put in more effort to stay as focused on a specific task as i was back in my 20s and i think also it um i can't sacrifice my physical and mental health as much as i did in my 20s it comes with more repercussions so in my 20s i would have no problem just skipping two three hours a night of sleep for like a prolonged period of time for a week or two i would have no problem with that i do that now for one night and i'm gone so it's less forgiving now that i'm in my 30s but ultimately i can still do it why because i'm making a mental commitment to myself to not settle down yet make a mental commitment to myself to not become this hair loss fatter becoming more bitter turning grumpy guy in his 30s it's almost like it's almost like you're driving a race car really fast and when you're driving on a straight in your 20s you're like yo i'm going straight i can go as fast as i want no problem but when you're in your 30s you're in a tight corner and you you still want to push the car as much as you can and you still have the foot on the pedal on the gas pedal but the faster you go the closer you're getting to that wall so you have to be really careful you have to be doing it more carefully but you can still push as hard that's a weird metaphor i hope it makes sense and that wall that you have as you're turning in that corner that wall that is flying by you with 100 miles 200 miles per hour that's the wall of that hairless lazy fat 30 year old that is smoking cigarettes and drinking beer just to cope with life that has turned bitter that has turned boring and border that has given up on life that has a lot of unfulfilled potential in his fat beer belly that's the wall i see flying by with 200 miles an hour and if i don't pay attention if i don't grab that steering wheel if i don't stay commit it if i don't stay vigilant if i don't stay focused that steering wheel does a slight tip to the right and i hit that wall with 200 miles per hour and the repercussions of that are much much more severe than when you're in your 20s and that's a good thing and it's a bad thing it's a bad thing because you're going you're getting older and you have to watch yourself getting older every day and you might be watching this in your 40s and 50s and you're laughing at me like jeez i would give anything to be in my 30s again i get it i love being in my 30s it's the most wonderful goddamn journey i'm on still is it's better to be honest bottom line it's better to be 30. be in your 30s then in your 20s 100 wholeheartedly say that i forgot the other point that i was going to make but ultimately it you have more repercussions it's that simple it's easier for you to settle down people understand it people are expecting more from you and that's fine you can either rise to that challenge and keep pushing and maybe go from a millionaire in your 20s to a multi-millionaire in your 30s maybe you're going from this person who makes a lot of cash in their 20s to this person who not only has a lot of cash in their 30s but security assets safety wisdom a network maybe a little bit of power in a positive sense where you can really put an impact out into your local community to your country to the planet maybe you can start giving back even more this is also a big thing that i've done in my 20s learning to give back but i didn't really do it as much as i'm doing it now i don't really feel that pull that responsibility when you're in your 20s a lot of it is me me me me me how much can i hoard for myself i want to show all my dollars that they were wrong i want to show all the teachers that have doubted me i want to show jenny that broke up with me in high school that she was wrong and so once a fourth spoiler alert jenny in high school probably isn't as attractive anymore um but in the authorities people expect a lot from you and it's fine you got to rise with that challenge and you have to realize in your 30s too but it's not only about you it's about giving back because another thing that you notice when you're in your 30s maybe you've noticed it yourself already but your parents are getting really old older by the day and you probably see your parents a little less frequently and every time you do see them you're happy on one side but you're shocked on the other side because you do notice their gray hair you do notice their bad posture you do notice the wrinkles and you do become aware of the fact that someday they're gonna die and then you'll be alone and then you have to be the parent that is always there for their kids at some point just like your parents probably have been there for you so it's that it's that strange sense of vanity of everything getting older and of things not always being the same and safe as you're used to them and that's also okay because in your 30s it's time for you to keep crushing to keep forming that dough that life gives you to not turn bitter to not give up do not get tired in your 30s you got to crush it you got to continue the crushing and if you haven't crushed it yet it's about time so i want to thank you very much for watching this was a much much longer ranty video i hope you liked it leave a comment down below if you've watched it all the way till here and if you're serious about taking your life into your own hands you want to become self-employed you want to become your own boss then go ahead and book a free consultation call with me and my team over at uh we're going to show the link somewhere here right now put the link down description below a big part of taking your life into your own hands is actually building your own business and actually doing something where you're your own boss where you're not where you're not reliant on somebody else so if this is what you want to do i invite you to book that free consulting call with us if you say no i'm good with my nine to five or whatever it is that you're doing that's fine too i hope you enjoyed this video very much i'm gonna go back to work now over there enjoy the sunset maybe shoot another video thank you very much maybe talk soon bye-bye hey hello everyone i've been in fbm for what one year and three months i haven't been exactly the best student out there i had also my my things happening in life but still i cashed in around 30 000 euros in a bit more than one year by living the life i always wanted to live i had time to spend with my family and i had time to travel around and do whatever i wanted pretty much so yeah and what i feel now is life is amazing i'm earning more than ever right now i made 7 000 euros this month and it's getting easier and faster
2021-05-19 07:49
