Keith Eats Everything at Panera

Keith Eats Everything at Panera

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- In 1987 in Kirkwood, Missouri, Ken and Linda Rosenthal, along with their mother, not their real mom, a sourdough starter from San Francisco, opened the Saint Louis bread company. It was a smash hit, so much so that it was purchased by Au Bon Pain. Au Bon Pain, changed the name to Panera, which is Latin for like bread basket, which is hilarious, 'cause the bread basket region of America is Missouri. Today we're eating everything from Panera! As always, Eat The Menu is brought to you by Keith's Chicken Sauce, Burger Sauce, Taco Sauce, and now also Hot Chicken sauce.

You can get yourself some right now through the link in the description. It's delicious, it's not too hot, except for the one that is. Let's eat the menu. (classic rock music) We're gonna start out with the wraps breakfast stuff. There's a lot of breakfast stuff.

The Bacon, Scrambled Egg, & Tomato Wrap. Maybe this is not the bacon one. My bad, good old fashioned swippy whooppie.

The Bacon, Egg, & Tomato Wrap. It has quite an interesting lettuce choice for breakfast. I'm gonna eat it from right here, as to get the best experience. Flavor is actually quite good. The bacon sings, tomato's there, it kind of tastes like a BLT, but it's sopping wet. Way wetter than it should be, and you know, the lettuce is wildly wilted and gross.

I didn't pick up the egg at all. Maybe I didn't get any egg. I guess I'll do a bite like this just to get... The egg doesn't help the experience and also, this is a hilarious style of tomato for a wrap. Here's to you Panera! The Chipotle's Chicken, Scrambled Egg & Avocado Wrap.

Let's try it. Maybe it's 'cause I'm starving but I quite like it. The chicken is fairly soft, the egg is quite soft, the avocado is soft, so everything in it is soft, but the flavors are quite loud, and present. And I don't taste the egg, I feel the egg. I hate wraps, and I didn't hate those. So, that's pretty good I guess.

Well those wraps turned out (jazz music) to be all they were wrapped up to be, but joining me for the next section of breakfast sandwiches is my favorite sandwich of a man, Jared Popkin! (clapping) - Wooh, Popkin's home- - All right! - Bitch is back- - Wow, look at you! - Brought myself a chair. - You look good! - Thanks, I'm ready to chef it up. I feel like I've been a baker my whole life. - Well yesterday it was 420, I was baking forever- - I was bakin' it up! - I was high at work for a TikTok. It made work hard.

- Thanks weed! - Thanks weed! ♪ For the ride ♪ (announcer speaking in foreign language) - This is the Bacon, Egg and Cheese on Ciabatta. Looks a little bit more like a sourdough loaf to me. - Yeah- - Let's try it! It's the Bacon, Egg & Cheese on Ciabatta! - On ciabatta.

- I feel like I'm in San Francisco looking at the pink ladies. - Mm-hm. - Is that the name of those houses? Or is it just a girl squad in Greece? - I think it's Painted Ladies. - The Painted Ladies. It's a little chewy for a breakfast sandwich, which is- - I think it's- - Maybe not desired, but I do think the bread is good. - The bread's really good. I think it's true because there's more bread than there is of anything inside it- - Yeah, I mean look at it. - Yeah. - Let's move on

to the Scrambled Egg & Cheese On Chiabatta, no bacon. Okay, this is just egg and cheese and bread. This seems like a boring offering. (Jared laughing) Egg and cheese and bread.

Let's try it. That's boring. - Yeah! - That's sucks. - So here's the first sandwich we have on a brioche. So if we were like, "Oh, the bread was too much!" This is your answer there. - Oh!

Oh you nailed that. - Oh! Let's try the Bacon, Egg & Cheese On Brioche. (classical music) Burger Sauce is the breakfast sandwich sauce. There's a breakfast sandwich saver right there. They have every version of the same sandwich here.

This is the Bacon, Scrambled Egg & Cheese On Brioche. So the same thing we just had- - But scrambled- - But scrambled. - Smells really good. They make good food at Panera. - The bacon. Quality. (Jared laughing) Is there a sandwich that we haven't had yet? (laughing) Like we're eating- - The same thing! - Hey Jared, remember that sandwich that sucked? - Yeah. - Well here it is again!

- I'm just gonna start with Burger Sauce. - Here we go! The burger sauce is literally the only important part of the sandwich. - It's like eating a spoon. It's like a spoon with whatever was on the spoon is the flavor that you're getting. - What if- (laughing) - This is the normal Fried Egg and Cheese. I don't think I said that we ate the Scrambled Egg and Cheese on Brioche a second ago, but we did. - We did.

- And are having it fried. (jazz music) - I'm going right for the middle of it. I mean it's better than nothing! - Less bad! (Jared laughing) - Less boring! It's time for sausage. - Oh, this looks fun- - We're getting into flavor town. - Bring me there baby! - Call Guy Fieri! The Sausage, Scrambled Egg and Brioche, and, also cheese sandwich.

What a wacky sausage. - Isn't that weird? What is that? (chuckling) - It tastes like the frozen section of the grocery store. - We brought in flavors and we called Guy Fieri. (laughing) - That was my mistake. Let's try it on the brioche. - Okay. - The Sausage, Egg, and Cheese on Brioche.

- Here we go. (classic rock music) Honestly, it's better than what we just had. There's egg- - There's more things. - Yeah, it's more texture. - The brioche has more flavor than the other bread. The egg, like this has the most flavor of the egg.

So I think the perfect version of this is the Fried Egg, Bacon Cheese on Brioche. - I agree. - I didn't realize it until now but that's what this was all about. - That's what this, was fine. - All of our breakfast sandwiches are just slightly different from one another. So really it was, which of the nine, eight, however many there are, should you get? - And we did it for you, we found it. - We figured it out. Well Jared, what's going on with you? - I've got a bunch of stuff.

If you wanna know, just go follow me, check me out. - Make sure you follow Jared. Jared, thanks so much for coming on and trying a lot of the same sandwich. - Thanks for eating all my food that I cooked.

- Yeah, you did a really good job back there- - Thank you so much- - You gotta hit the kitchen again though, right? - Yeah, time to go. Gotta cut more food for you and your guests! (laughing) - Okay, bye Jared! Now onto the, what's next? (light orchestral music) Parfraits, Fruitcups, and Oatmeal! (laughing) Let's hit it! The Summer Fruitcup. This is what you order when you want to use the free wifi. You can make this last a long time, it's cheap, it's healthy, it's sweet, gives you a little burst of energy.

Let's try, the Steel Cut Oatmeal with strawberries and pecans. Let's get ourselves a nice, perfect bite. I don't eat oatmeal, don't love oatmeal, so let's try their oatmeal. I still don't like oatmeal. Tastes like, sweet boogers.

What do you think Nick? Oatmeal? Oatmeal guy or no? - I am an oatmeal guy. - Don't you think it tastes like sweet boogers? Guest of the show, (chuckling) droppin' in for a bite. Thoughts. - I mean, I wouldn't go to boogers, but it's not good. - Thank you.

He's a food critic, so you can really trust his opinion over mine. - Not good. - A question I bet the world has, is do my boogers taste like your boogers? Everyone's like, oh, that's gross. Yeah, but your boogers and your mouth are already connected. Anyhow, (laughing) we're gonna try the Parfait! Wait a minute! Oh, I was like, I can't, there's some sort of thin barrier. Let's try this.

It's got craisins, granola and yogurt, and also, what look like little roasted pepitas. That is cheap yogurt. Really bright. Really, sour. But the granola's good. I would say go for the fruit cup, and then go for the yogurt, and then pick your own boogers instead.

We're on our way to the next section, which is pastries and such. Wow, look at all these. These are fun! Hold on, look, can we just take a moment? These actually look pretty good. Let's start with this one, it's got its own little box. Vanilla Cinnamon Roll. I like it, and it does taste like a Vanilla Cinnamon Roll.

It tastes like daddy cake, which you may not understand. My parents will, which was a specific kind of coffee cake that my dad bought from the grocery store. And it was just a simple coffee cake, but we, because my dad liked it the most, and when we were children we called him daddy, we referred to it as Daddy Cake. So this, tastes like Daddy Cake. The Blueberry Scone. Good buttery taste, I don't really taste the blueberries.

I'm not from England, so I don't know what a good scone is, but I like it. The Cranberry Orange Muffin. Smells way too sweet.

It tastes more like a lemon cake to me. It's got that bright, acidity of a lemon cake. Maybe that's from the craisins itself or the cranberries. Let's try this, this looks wacky.

Orange scone. But the taste is subtle. I didn't pick out the blueberry flavor in the blueberry scones. This tastes like orange, and they have like candy orange rind in the frosting.

Kind of sophisticated. I think Au Bon Pain had a hand in that. Pretty good, let's try this thing though. This thing's been looking at me.

The Pecan Braid. (upbeat strumming music) It's sort of like a braided croissant with pecans. A pecassant, pecasan, pecassant.

(country folk music) Mm-hm, mm-hm. Mmm, I love croissants. And this is kinda like an almond croissant.

It's just a different nut. But let's get into, (rhythmic rock beat) the Croissant. I love a good croissant, they're light, they're flaky, they're crispy, they're amazing. It's a little bland, but not bad, and the structure's great.

It's way better than the Starbucks one. Oh my God! (classic rock music) This is not a traditional approach to a chocolate croissant. It looks like if a monster had like a happy smile at first, and then halfway through the movie, it reveals it's evil smile. Like it is so scary. (coughing) Just inhaled powdered sugar.

I knew it was gonna happen at some point. Ugh, it's like the anthrax of sweeteners. Let's try this! It's actually not too sweet. It's a good dark chocolate.

I like these pastries. I'm impressed. This is going great for me so far.

All right, let's try the Bearclaws. It's a little dry, I don't really like the look of that. I don't know if that's traditional. I don't get a lot of Bearclaws. Dip it in a cup of coffee and I'll probably eat it. The Blueberry Muffin. (orchestral music)

I used to get this when I would go to a Barnes & Noble. It smells like cake. It's boring. And the other muffin was so much better. We forgot the Chocolate Chip Muffin.

I assume it's a muffin top, because it's missing it's muffin bottom. Maybe it's called a muffie? Is it called a muffie, Alexandria? Do you know if this is called a muffie? - Oh yeah, Chocolate Chip Muffie? - It's a little muffie. Let's try it. I don't know what to tell you.

I can't grade it as a muffin. I can't grade it as a cookie. It's perfectly in-between the two. Sure. Okay. I like it.

I like it 'cause it's fun. But it's not for Keith. It's not a Keith fave, but if you're a chocolate chip cookie gal, and you aren't allowed to have cookies in the morning, this is a good sort of, it's sort of a little, what's it called? Like a- - Loophole? - Loophole! Very good, Jonathan. (chuckling) Very good, you win the rest of the muffie.

But it's time to try the bagels! And to come help me judge these bagels is New York native, Zach Kornfeld! (clapping) - Oh! - I'm a bagel. (pretend singing) I'm a bagel, I'm a bagel! (laughing) I'm a bagel, I'm a bagel! - I knew there were gonna be some costumes today, I did not even know there was a bagel costume. - And you forgot your costume Keith- - I did, I know, I forgot about it! They told me there was a costume.

I gotta dress up really quick, as a Panera employee. - I met a drunk fan the other day, who was like, "Man, you gotta talk to Keith. "You gotta try and get on with, Eat The Menu." So here I am! For you drunk fan! I did it, I made it. - Do I look better?

- Yeah, you looked stupid before. - Yeah, I feel better now. - Oh, smell that! - Now? - It's pungent. (chuckling)

That's a bag of bagels. - Oh, (laughing) my God! There are some flavors that don't work together in there! - The cinnamon raisin and Parmesan mix is wild! - It is the smell of elementary school vomit. Wow! Incredible! - I want another- - You gotta hit it again.

Whoa, that is awful! Such a big hole for a bagel. - I can do three fingers, maybe four. - Panera's- - I can do four, I can do all five fingers. - Panera's fistable bagels. Let's try, (classic rock music) the Cinnamon Raisin Bagel.

- Doink! - Doink. - Not bad. - It's fine. It's dense, you're kind of fighting against it to chew it. - This is why I made this, and without a recipe. This is a Panera bagel. You know what I'm talking about? I didn't grow up in New York, I grew up in places with Panera.

I had only had Panera bagels, cinnamon raisin bagel's pretty good. I thought, yeah, that must be a good choice. - How'd that work out? - It didn't.

- It didn't work out well. - I got fourth place, it was like bullshit. - Yeah, I don't know how that happened, you got robbed. - Yeah. - This is just raisin? No it must be chocolate. - Noway!

- It's chocolate. - [Zach] I don't know whether to be outraged or concerned. - It smells like a cookie shop.

- Am I putting cream cheese on this? - I'm going plain. Sorry, the Chocolate Chip Bagel. - [Zach] Okay. That fucken sucks! - I hate it. (laughing) It's not the type of sweetness I want with bread. - It's very sweet. (orchestral music)

In fact it's hard to have more than a bite. Ooh, yeah, it's turning on me. - Yeah, I- - It's so much sugar in my bagel. - Let's do this. This one's stupid looking. - That's not a bagel. - It doesn't appear to be a bagel.

- Bagel needs to have a hole. Ready for my bar mitzvah. (pizmonim music) - Oh dude! Hell yeah! Wow! I get it now! - Mazel tov.

- I get it! - And now I'm gonna eat the bagel that was sitting on my hair. - Yeah. (country folk music) Sprouted Grain Bagel Flat. What do you think? - Oh! - You think it's good? - Ah! Oh, health food should not be a punishment. - I don't care for it. - Oh, boy, oh boy!

Oh, you really taste the grain. The fuck outta here. - It kind tastes like lunchables made of bagel.

Jalapeno Cheddar Bagel. (upbeat strumming music) It smells absolutely outta control. This definitely was one of the ones contributing to that weird vomit smell. - I'm sorry I'm gonna abstain. - Yeah, I understand. I'll try it by myself. I'll go ahead and put this one back in the share bucket, and this one- - Is that a share bucket? 'Cause I've been using that as trash.

I know, there's some trash and there's some share. - [Zach] I bet that's gonna be a lot of flavor. (jazz music) - You're right. Like if nachos were a bagel. - This feels like something

Eugene would come up with without a recipe. - It does! - Yeah. - It really feels like a without a recipe idea. - Like a prank! - All right. Let's try the Blueberry Texture and Flavor Bagel. I like this because as a child, I would get blueberry bagels with strawberry cream juice.

And this is actually not bad. The blueberries taste pretty good. - This does taste like a muffin. It's a muffin bagel. - It's a good muffin.

It's better than the blueberry muffin. If you want a blueberry muffin, get the blueberry bagel. - Yeah. - Let's move on to this thing.

This is the Cinnamon Crunch Bagel. - Are you sure? - Yeah, look at it. - Wow, I thought this was melted Parmesan.

That's cinnamon. - It's caked on cinnamon. - I thought I knew bagels, guys! I'm going on a journey today. Here, let's try the Cinnamon Crunch Bagel. (rock music) - That's crazy! (laughing) - How do you imagine they make this? Do they just butter the outside, and then pour a bunch of cinnamon sugar on top and then bake it? - This is too much flavor for even dessert. This is sweeter than any cinnamon roll I've ever had.

- It's like churro level sweetness. - I think it's more. I was gonna say what a wonderful stoner snack, but even high, I think I'd be like, too much, I need some pretzels.

- Yeah, it's a little intense, but how about a plain? - A great bagel place can be judged by the quality of their plain. (classical music) In fact, can you just bite into it without anything and say, "Yeah, that's good." - Let's find out. The Plain Bagel. - It's not bad. - Honestly,

the actual bagel-ness of this compared to the other bagels is the closest, I think to a quote unquote, good bagel. - On the outside it looks like a Mattel bagel. Like you found this in your kids' toy bin. - Yeah, it'd be good to make a sandwich on.

Let's try the sesame bagel. (upbeat music) - This is the best one yet. - Mm-hm, that sesame flavor. It does a lot. - It does a lot. And for whatever reason, this one, has a better consistency. The outside of it is- - Really light.

- Yeah. - Really light. Quite fluffy. - What if a cheese Danish could be a bagel? - Pass. - I'm gonna go right into the middle. I'm eating the most cheesy bite possible. - [Zach] He loves it! (orchestral music) - Is Asiago cheese good? - Asiago, Asiago, Asiago, it kind of sounds like a, to-go sushi place.

Asiago. - Mm-hm, it's not good. I really don't like it. The longer the taste sat in my mouth, the more it tasted really bad. I just think it tastes like weird cheese. - That's what it is! - Yeah, it tastes like it.

- And finally, the king of the bagel, the Everything Bagel! - It doesn't look like there's everything. - No, it kind of skims- - It looks like there's two things. Let's try it, everything. That's pretty good. - It's not bad.

You know, there's a little bit of like, subtraction via addition here, where there's so many little things sparse, that I'm not actually tasting any of the flavors. This almost tastes like a plain bagel to me. - Tastes like salt. - Yeah. - Mine tastes like a salt bagel. - Let me try-

- The only thing I couldn't see was salt. The only thing I taste is salt. - You know, one of my best friends, Ben, he has a poppy allergy, so he can't eat bagels, and he also can't smoke opium.

- Yeah that sucks for him. - Yeah. - What about the opium dens? - Can't smoke opium. I hate to admit it, but Keith, I think that the sesame is the best of the bunch. - I think you're right. - Yeah. - Especially out of this batch.

I think you can get your hand in there, like a bracelet. Yeah, if you can wear your bagel as a bracelet, the hole's too big. The hole's too big. Well Zach, what's going on with you? What's new? - I have a YouTube channel called the Try Guys. Go check it out, be sure to subscribe. We do new videos sometimes.

- And by the time this comes out, it will have been a while since this other thing came out. But you just made a really wonderful podcast episode about the pandemic, how it affects disabled people, how they're affected much more differently, how just society as a whole doesn't take care of them. And if you missed that podcast episode, I really think you should go watch it. It's a really good piece of journalism from us as a company, and I think you and Miles and Rainey put together a really great product. - I wondered (strumming music) why I was doing this at all? And the answer was, well okay you know, this is our job. But I'm like, but isn't at a certain point, life and safety more important than like, keeping a company running? Society as a whole? - Whole? - I just, it's hard for me (jazz music) to promote something so serious while wearing a bagel costume.

- That's why I (Zach laughing) took the wheel there. - I appreciate it. (Keith laughing) - Next up is Salads, and joining me at the Eat The Menu table stage is a regular now, Jonathan, but for the first time ever, the head of 2nd Try's H.R. department, Ronald is here, wow! - Hey! - Hey Ronald! - How's everybody doing? - Doing great! - We have another channel called 2nd Try, and there's a really wonderful piece put together by both of you, sort of about some of the things that we've almost produced, but haven't quite produced. - As always, you can follow me on Pinterest, and TikTok.

- Pinterest is your main- - Oh, I'm big on Pinterest. That and the one that Trump made. - Okay, (laughs) alright, let's move on to the salads. The Citrus Asian Salad with Chicken. (rock music) I'll give you a bite here in one second Ronald. - Okay. (laughs)

I'm gettin' hungry Keith! - I know you are. - Can I have it- - Okay, that's enough! - Alright. - Okay, let's try the salad. Here you go Ron. - Mm, oh thank you. - Mm-hm. - Mm, yum, yum, yum!

- It's very salty. I think the flavor is actually pretty good. I love that it's dark meat chicken. Really didn't- - Yeah- - Expect that from a chain like this but the, chicken is really good. - Yeah, normally like these-

- Yeah, sorry Jonathan- - Ronald, Ronald, sorry, no- - If you could let me finish- - No, I was talking first Ronald. - If you could let me finish- - Ronald, can I speak- - The thighs are often the juiciest part of the chicken. - Yeah. - Well that's what I was gonna say. - Let's move on to- - Yeah, let's move on- - Let's move on to the Greek salad. - You spent some time in fraternities, right? - Oh yeah, I was in the all puppet fraternity at UCUSC.

- Yeah. (laughing) - Sorry, which college? - It's at USNC. - USNC? - USNC. - USNC? - USNC. - Yeah. - It was a fraternity where we do all the normal stuff like hazing, and beating the shit out of our pledges.

- Sounds- - Were you in a fraternity, or were you sort of sexless in college? Jonathan definitely was. - I was sort of sexless in most of college, I have to say- - That's nice, that's good. - Later on- - Not me though! - No, not you. Okay, We're gonna try this- - I got it from all angles. - So anyway, this salad, what salad is this? - This is the Greek Salad. - This is the Greek salad. - It looks like

a pretty decent Greek salad. - Okay. - Cheers. - Cheers. - Cheers. (light orchestral music)

Keith, if you could feed me- - Here you go. - A little bite. (Ronald grunting) - Your table manners are, I would say idiosyncratic. - Well, I believe in being yourself no matter who you are.

People might call you a pervert, people might be weird to you, but- - I don't know, (laughing) if being you and getting called a pervert is a good thing to convey to our audience. - Well- - This salad is, it's not as good as the first one. - It's not as good as the first one- - Yeah- - But it's like a pretty satisfactory, Greek salad.

- Keith? - You have notes? - Yeah, what's up bud? - Sorry, I- - You're stabbing yourself in the eye- - I know- - Are you okay? - My arms, I'm getting a little exhausted. Let me adjust my like chiropractic. - Sure, go ahead. - Okay. - [Keith] Take a moment.

Oh, my God. - I don't know if we're supposed to see this- - Much better. - That's nice, okay. - Wow, okay.

- So next is the Green Goddess Cobb Salad with Chicken. - Ooh, okay. The Green Goddess Cobb Salad. - Mm! This really looks like a fancy salad chain. - This is great. - It's breast meat chicken- - Oh, did somebody say breast? - Okay, it's pretty good.

I think it's a very filling, (Ronald grunting) protein-heavy salad. And it's good! (laughing) And the dressing is pretty good too. - Keith, you ever been there? (laughing heartily) - I know why I thought it was a good idea. It's really hard to describe salads. - Let's just- (inhaling deeply) - Look at these apples.

- Look at them apples! (Keith laughing) - I knew he was gonna say that! I knew he was gonna say that- - We got the Fuji Apple Salad! (upbeat music) - The Fuji happy salad, Fuji, apple salad- - Apple salad with chicken is a very, like, it kind of looks like toaster chute frosting, the dressing- - It looks like somethin', that's for sure. (Keith chuckling) - It looks like- (bleep) - What? I thought this was an internet show. - It is an internet show, but I try to limit the use of words like, (bleep) to a minimum.

The Fuji, Apple Chicken Salad. (crunching) Not a fan of blue cheese. - Miraculously, I didn't get any in that bite, so I'm still happy. Like, I'm gonna quit while I'm ahead- - That's the wrong salad Ronald.

- Ronald? - Ronald's a wet salad- Ronald, yeah, here. - Thanks. - God damn it- - I don't love the salad. The apples are so dry, but the flavors are otherwise pretty okay. And I think maybe there's just too many loud flavors going on. - Yeah.

- Now this one looks ridiculous. - Now Ronald, you went strawberry picking recently, I think you were mentioning- - Yeah, me and Jared Leto went strawberry picking. - Really! - Yeah, I was a key grip on "Morbius". - Yeah, what are some of your recent credits Ronald? - Oh yeah, well, I was in everything all the time. - This is the strawberry poppy seed salad, which explains the dressing. It's not regular food, it's poppy seed. - In euphoria I got to fuck.

- I hate this. - The conversation or the salad? - The salad. - Okay. - 'Cause it's just a bunch of root on a bed of lettuce. It's two different salads, and it's like, maybe it'll work together. What if we took a Caesar and a fruit salad, and just made it into a salad? Do you wanna try it? - Yeah- - Yeah, let me get my fork in there. - Get your fork in there.

- There you go. - There you go buddy. Hey. (Ronald grunting) - Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum! Sounds good! (Keith and Jonathan laughing) - Pretty good salad, huh? - Really good! - Yeah, I didn't like it, but maybe it's better for puppet palettes. - Seems good for me! - Oh, I forgot that every salad comes with a piece of bread. - Oh, should we have a little bread moment here? - Yeah, have a little bread, here you go. - Thanks. - There you go. - Mmmmmm!

- It's thick. Delicious! - All right, we're gonna move on to the Asian Sesame Salad with Chicken. (orchestral music) That's a sesame oil based dressing. I like sesame oil, so I like it but- - Yeah, it's not bad. - Very one note.

Let's try the Barbecue Chicken Salad. Wow, it tastes like barbecue. - Mm-hm. - Yeah, get me in there. Yum! (distant playful scream) - I really like it! - I could eat this- - It's not a salad- - Everyday. - That's definitely not a salad.

- It eats like a plate of barbecue. - Yeah, it feels like a sandwich. - Yeah, I got you your own Caesar salad- - Now see, that's- - My own? - Yeah, I got you your very own, Jonathan and I will try the Caesar salad with chicken, but I'm gonna give you the plain. Now you're trying to watch your waistline.

- Yo Mickey- - On the plate- - The chicken Caesar salad- - I wanna make sure you get some. (Ronald grunting) - Cheers. - Cheers. - Looks good, yeah, it's got a lot of cook. This is good. - That's got a bite. This is good Caesar dressing.

- Much zestier than I was expecting. Kinda like the way Ronald was eating. - So what kind of projects are you guys working on nowadays? - So- - Got anything to promote? - So, Ronald and I- - I'll take this one, Jonathan. So, Jonathan and I have been working on the talk show. - What Ronald and I have created together, is a talk show, that attempts to really just kind of like get closer- - Closer, yeah- - To people that we think we know.

Getting closer, it's on 2nd Try, go check it out. - Getting it up. How do you get it up in this industry? - Okay, we gotta move on, but thanks for dropping by guys. Make sure you follow both of these guys- - Bye! - Especially those of us on screen right now and we'll see you guys later. - Follow me! - Thank you. - Yeah. Well fill me up with cereal and milk 'cause it's time for some bowls! The Teriyaki Chicken Broccoli Bowl.

Cooked like teriyaki. I don't know how to describe it. Sweet, (classical music) vaguely Asian, broccoli's there, and the chicken is not as good in this context as it was before.

Maybe I'll just try just the chicken bite. Chicken, tastes like the little bite of chicken you get from the Chinese restaurant in food court. Where one bite of it's amazing, but somehow a bowl of it's horrible.

Let's try the Mediterranean Bowl. It looks, beige. This kind of looks well-composed, smells Mediterranean, Mediterranean bowl. Let's try it. Yeah.

Mm-hm, mm-hm, mm. Wooh! Something in there was salty. Could use a little lemon. That's pretty good. I think that's a really good vegetarian option. The hummus tastes pretty good.

The vegetables are nice. Let's try the Baja Bowl. Baja bowl with chicken. Will my mouth have a Baja blast? (clapping) Panera, you dirty dog! (laughing) That's good! It's spicy! That green sauce is spicy spark. That tastes like a good Chipotle adjacent product.

Hey, wait a minute! How about we have it without chicken? The vegetarian Baja Bowl! Well first of all, it looks like somebody ate some of it. You know what actually looks like happened? Is that they put chicken in, and they took it out. We'll never know. Let's try it.

Mm, it's still good. It doesn't need the chicken, and the flavors are, (tapping plastic container) that is flavorful. Let's try, we're back at the breakfast sandwiches people.

This is the Mediterranean Bowl With Chicken. There's only three different products. I mean, I know what it tastes like. I was gonna say it's exactly like the other one. The Mediterranean Bowl with Chicken this time. You know, I take it back.

It's better with the chicken. It's time to get a little loopy with a few soupies! And joining me with the soups, is my wife, Becky Habersberger! (clapping) - Hey, how's it going? - It's good. I'm getting full, but you know, holding strong.

- Bread bowls, bread bowls, bread bowls- - They look like little Legend of Zelda bombs. - Great bread- - I used to love the broccoli cheddar soup- - Yeah. - From Panera, so I think we should start there. All right, wow! - Oh, that looks good! - I want to hold it like this.

The broccoli cheese soup in a bread bowl. Like this- - Do it, do it- I'll go in. - [Keith] That's good. Oh wow, that's fucken good.

- That is so good. That's like nostalgia in a bread bowl. - Mm, what I like about broccoli cheese soup, is it doesn't taste like broccoli. It doesn't taste like cheese, it tastes like, - Broccoli cheese soup. - Broccoli cheese soup.

- It has its own unique flavor. Let's go for the- - Wooh- - Creamy Tomato Soup, in a bread bowl. - It looks like spaghetti sauce, it smells like it, tastes like it! (laughing) Could actually be pretty good with some noodles. - Are you one of those people, that at the end of a plate of spaghetti, you lick your plate? This is the soup for you. The Mexican Street Corn Chowder in a bread bowl.

(mariachi music) Wow! Whoa, it smells crazy. It's Mexican corn chowder, which is what it is, I don't really like it. - No. I would dip a chip in. - I'd take this soup and pour it over chips, and add guacamole, and say it's nachos. (orchestral music) - If you've just never eaten Mexican food, met any Mexican person, and honestly, if you couldn't point out Mexico on a map, you would think that that tastes great. - I'd be very surprised, it's the closest place.

All right, this is the Bistro French Onion Soup, blah! - That doesn't travel well- - It looks like the onions have reabsorbed the entire soup in here. - It is a bit gelatinous. - Normally soup can't stand on it's side. This one can.

The bread has drank all the soup up. All the broth is in the bread. I'm gonna have to eat the bread to try the soup. So I'm gonna put some onions on the bread.

- [Female Staff Member] Becky you can juice it to get some of the broth. (laughing) - Let's see if that works. - Yeah, see if you squeeze it. I'll catch it. Oh, it's like one of those games. - It's almost doing it. - Put it in the- - Oh yeah, its like- - Put it in the- - An old flash game. - Yeah-

- Oh, there it goes! - Ti-di-di-di-di- - There's the soup! - And then ooh, on your shirt! - Oh, Ronald already had his way with the shirt. - The puppet? - Uh-huh- - Uh-huh! - I'm trying it. - The puppet? That little ho! (laughing) - I don't like it. And I think the cheese is wrong. The cheese looks like it's a melted cheddar. - Doesn't actually tastes that oniony.

It tastes like the memory of an onion. - It tastes not good. - Yeah. - It tastes burned. - [Female Staff Member] Like a LaCroix onion? - Like a LaCroix onion. - LaCroix, onion. - It's the essence of onion. - LaCroix French onion soup. - [Becky] Yeah! - Home style chicken noodle.

There's the soup! Hey, this one actually, look, there's broth. - [Becky] Oh yeah, there it is. I don't know why you'd get chicken noodle soup in a bread bowl though. You know what I mean? - There we go! - It's like that's an odd- - Soup.

- An odd choice. - Chicken noodle soup. Well, broth's kind of flavorful.

But look at how much bread, like- - It's a bit dry- - There's very little soup. This experience is, do you want wet bread? - Yeah- - Flavored wet bread. Which I think there's a market for.

- It's wet bread. - It's wet bread. - Wet bread. - Wet breads. - Wet bread. - Panera's new line- - Once you buy Panera- - Of wet breads. The Chicken and Wild Rice. Cream of Chicken and Wild Rice Soup.

Another creamy soup, ought to be good. Let's try it. Whoa, I didn't expect that flavor. Not bad, not, good. This is the Thai Chicken Soup.

- I think Panera needs to stay in its lane. (laughing) I don't think anyone, any of the chefs at Panera have been to Thailand- - Whoa, this smells like curry though. That's a totally different flavor. Thai chicken soup.

- Okay. If you've never- - Had Thai food- - Thai food, and you've never met a Thai person, and you can't point to Thailand on a map, that's the soup for you! (laughing) - But it actually feels like it lands closer to a Japanese curry. - Yeah. - Like the brown thick curries? It does have a strong flavor, it's just not a really good flavor.

Let's move into the Mac and cheeses. White Cheddar, Mac and Cheese. We got the shells, sorry, flicked it right onto you.

Sorry, flicked some soup at you. We got some nice, short elbows- - Some fat shells. - Sort of short elbows, in-between shells and elbows. I like that. Let's go.

That's pretty good. - That is good! - Wow! - Oh, that's good! - That's food Mac. That's creamy, it might could use a little black pepper, or a little Cayenne pepper, maybe a little chicken sauce. Just something to give it a little more, I'm gonna put, just a tat, not a lot. Just a zap. - A little bit.

- I think it needs just- - A little bit- - A little zazz. - Sometimes you like too much flavor. Sometimes you need to calm it down- - I'm just putting a single drop on a single- - Good Mac and cheese- - You've gotta promote the hot sauce here. - I am! - No you aren't. You literally just pulled the food away from the hot sauce- - What if I didn't want one- - We both make money off of it.

- I do? - What are you doing? - It's chicken sauce! This is Mac and cheese. There's no chicken in it. - It's a hot sauce! - Mm, that is so good! I would bring that to someone's house. It'd be like- - It's white- - I made it myself- - Velveeta E. A broccoli cheddar Mac and Cheese. - You're gonna have too much of a good thing.

- Yeah. Let's keep 'em separate. - Uh-huh. - Broccoli does not work. No one wants broccoli in their Mac and cheese. What do you like the best? - The Mac and cheese? - The Mac and cheese! I can't believe anything took my love from the broccoli cheddar soup. - I think it's really good.

I do think it needs just some pinch of pepper. Well Becky, what's going on with you? - Huh? - You know, not much, but yesterday was 420. - Yes. - So just a good reminder to everyone to call your senators, call your local government officials, and let 'em know we should legalize marijuana, and also expunge some records. - Yeah. - Maybe if you're watching this video, just poop, poop, poop, go type it in on the internet. - Definitely.

There's definitely people- - Yeah- - Who are incarcerated for total bullshit reasons, and there's legalization. Even in states where it is fully legalized, there's still people in jail for it from before, and that's stupid. Fucken that's stupid. - Yeah. That's what we have to say about that! - Get 'em Becky! (clapping) - Yeah, okay! - Get 'em Becky! - Let's have fun! - Thanks Becky! - Enjoy your soups. - Thank you. - It's time for our sandwiches! The big show as they say.

Joining me for the sandwiches is a big show boat in my life. Alex Lewis! (playful vocalizing) - Hey, muffin hands! - Oh, you got muffins in your hands! - That's right- - Chocolate chip- - Well, it's time for everyone's favorite segment Keith. Alex brought some cookies, to the all you can eat, eating the menu time. - You brought muffins. - I did. - It smells chocolaty. Let's try it.

I love it. But I don't like chocolate chip stuff that much. - Well, your wife liked it. When I was getting my shirt from her house. - It really sounds dirty.

- It does, and she didn't like it. - The bread of it should be sweeter. Here's the problem with it. It feels like I'm supposed to be eating a cupcake, but it actually is the correct muffin sweetness, but it doesn't make sense to me eating it because of the amount of chocolate that it's not a cupcake. Like, my brain's like, why isn't this just a cupcake? Well, it's time for sandwiches, and there's two boxes on top that say they're bursting with flavor.

So let's find out. This one's called the Spicy Take, and that one's called the Signature Take. Yeah, let's start spicy- - Yes- - And hopefully we'll work our way down to mild. - Get the pain out of the way- - Get the pain out of the way. Look at this, wow! - Whoa! - Oh, my! Oh! - Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute! - Wait a minute! - Are they trying to compete with Chick-fil-A right now, and Bennigan's? Not Bennigan's, Popeye's? Is that what? (Keith laughing) - And Bennigan's? What about Bennigan's? Well, this is a grilled chicken breast. - [Alex] Oh.

- But, I think they are probably trying to enter the chicken sandwich arena. - Oh, please! Panera, I'm sorry, but who do you think you are? - The Spicy Take. - It's not spicy at all. - It's a little heat on the end of that first bite I had, but there's not a lot of sauce. It's not like the Popeye's fried chicken sandwiches that are sauced to death, and they're really fucken spicy.

They're good, but damn. Yeah, it's totally a good grilled chicken sandwich. But now look at this. - Oh no. - The Signature Take is crazy looking compared to the Spicy Take. It's got lettuce! - What is going on with this rubber chicken? - What's your problem? - I fell in love with chicken sandwiches on the Popeye's episode of Eat the Menu- - Yes, of course, of course- - And, for other chicken sandwiches to get into the arena, it's like, how are you bringing me this? - Okay, well it's their own take, but I understand how you feel.

Let's try it. That's not bad. - That's actually not bad. - They're pretty good. I think this is actually really good. - Yeah, it is pretty good. - This one definitely is better.

You know, they crushed it the first time with the original. - Can I try this with one of the sauces? Let me try it with a burger Sauce if I could. Because I'm a good wife. - Mm-hm. - And I promote Keith's sauce. - Yeah, Becky!

- Am I in some kind of weird three-way relationship with Becky and Keith? - It's more of a- - Who knows? - Three, two-way relationship. - Right, I'm cheating on both of you with each other. - Are You gonna do this? - I'm just gonna watch. - It's your own sauce. - I'm full.

- You could! - I'm full. - That's good. The bacon turkey, bravo.

- Ooh, I remember that. - Bravo! - I used to get this sandwich. Why is the bread red? - It's tomato basil bread. - Tomato basil bread. - Oh. Fun. - Tomato basal bread? - The sandwich construction is awful. - Yeah.

This doesn't look appealing. - The chicken isn't in the right spot. - Cheese- - This cheese also, my cheese is missing a quarter of it's body. - May I have it- - No! - I have it! - You want it? - I guess if this was all my sandwich it would end up working out. (Alex laughing)

Let's try the Tomato Basil Bread on the Turkey Bacon Bravo. Yeah, I kind of like it. It's not as good as I remember.

- The bread is a little too thick. - I agree. - It's also kind of strange to have a bread flavored like something that's not a bread.

- It's weird, that's not bad, and I think it's fun. You know, it's better than an airport sandwich. - Well, (chuckles) that's true.

- The avocado turkey. - Roasted Turkey Avocado BLT. - Roasted Turkey Avocado BLT. So the R, T, A, BLT. - The rat BLT? - Yeah, the RAT BLT. - RAT BLT. (chuckling) - RAT BLT, let's try it.

- Ooh, it's got avocado. - It's in the name. (Alex laughing) You just said it like four times. - I did. - Then we abbreviated it. - I forgot. - Tastes really boring, huh?.

- Yeah. - Taste isn't anything. - All I taste is the mayo. - I taste water. - The flavor is dull.

- The bacon's also terrible. - Like a crayon that you pick up and you can't draw a thin line with it. - Yeah, try to draw with this bacon.

- You can't. - It's not gonna happen. - You can't do it. - Oh, that looks like tuna to me. - It is, you nailed it.

I gotta tell you, I think it's a bad idea to put tuna salad in such a thick bread because you know the tuna salad's gonna just goob out the sides as soon as I bite into it! - Ahh- - Look at the amount of salt! - Yeah. - Do you see the amount of salt I'm supposed to eat in my first bite of this sandwich? I'm gonna spread it out. Spread it out a little bit. (classic music) I don't love, tuna salad. I don't love tuna salad.

Let's try it. - I feel like piccata bread is the last bread I would ever think to put a tuna salad on. - So much salt on my bread. (upbeat strumming music) I think if you like tuna, you'll find this totally satisfying. If Huey were here, he'd be loving it. - Yeah, I think you're right- - Huey's a big tuna sandwich boy- - Here, Huey you wanna try it? - [Keith] Ahhhh! (pretend gobbling) Lew is rockin' the new Lewburger shirt over here.

Pretty cool, only available in person in our shows. (Alex laughing) So, got come see us live and by his shirt. - I'm sorry, why does it say grilled Mac and Cheese? (classical music) - 'Cause that's what it is.

Wow, this is Becky's dream. - (laughing) This is insane. - She loves both of these things independently. This is genius! Let's try, the Grilled Mac N Cheese.

- That's pretty good. That's pretty delicious. (jazz music) - That's hilarious.

I think I like it better just as Mac and Cheese, but I guess if you really want Mac and Cheese and you're driving a car, (Alex chuckles) this is kind of a good way to get there. Or if you go on a city bus, you just wanna be the guy eating the Mac and cheese sandwich in the back of a city bus. - Oh, I'd be so mad if somebody was eating a Mac and Cheese sandwich in the back of a bus and I just sat there- - Right next to you? And you were like squished up against him? Hey man, you wanna bite of my sandwich? - No. - Are you sure? It's good, it's Mac and Cheese.

- No. - Mm, anyway, when's your stop? - I'm off in like 10. - Are you getting off at Lake? - Yeah. - I'm getting off at Lake!

Where are you going? - I'm going to the concert tonight. - Hey, let's walk together. I'm going to the concert too. - No, I think it's a different concert. - There's only one concert tonight.

Beyonce. - Ah, that is the concert. - Yeah, I'm excited for her. - Well, I'm in the pit, so there's no way we're gonna- - I'm in the pit! GA? - Yeah- - Ahhhh, we could sit next to each other buddy! - Aooh- - You sure you don't want a bite of this sandwich? - I don't want a bite of the sandwich. - Okay, wow. It's gonna be a long day for us. We're gonna get in some real trouble. - Did you also have a tuna sandwich? - I did! - Oh! - Still in my pocket.

- Why is it there? (chuckling) Next up we've got the Mediterranean Veggie. What a disappointing downstep- - Nobody wants that, ugh- - From the Mac and Cheese sandwich. - I don't like vegetable sandwiches. Mediterranean sandwich vegetables.

- I'm just saying, feta cheese between bread, looks like something bad is coming out of it. - Yuck- - I hate vegetable sandwiches. - Well, oh! There's like a weird B.O. aftertaste.

- Oh, it's the red onions. - I really feel like I just like licked your armpit. - Well, you're a lucky boy. - (laughing) Jonathan. - That's a kinky boy over here. A little armpit licker.

- Next up we've got, ooh, this sounds all right! The Chipotle Chicken Avocado Melt. And look, it's all congealed and jellowy on top. - There you go. - Yuck!

- Yuck. - You see that? - You're really coming in with a hateful mindset. - It's not- - You gotta give it- - Can I explain something? - The best chance. You gotta start with, (Alex coughing) you start optimistically, and we have music that plays and it's like la, la, la, la, and then you take a bite and we go, oh, and then the music goes, whirr! And then it's all about the scoring of the piece. (chuckles) - All right, all right.

Let me take it from the top. Ooh okay, a Chipotle Ciabatta! - It's Piccata. (laughing) - Oh yeah! - Okay, Chipotle Piccata. - Oh, yum! Let's try the Chipotle Chicken Sandwich. - I don't mind at all that there's a jello cheese on top. - No, no, of course not. Let's eat it.

- It's not bad. The sun dried tomatoes are not working for me. - It's a very savory, salty sandwich, I think because of this bread again. This spread's really salty. - Yeah. - So it's a little too, intense flavor-wise. It's not very balanced, but I think this would be something you could dip in the tomato sauce soup, and it would level it out a little bit, 'cause it was a little too sweet.

- Okay, next up we've got the Napa Almond Chicken Salad. Oh, I'm sure this will be great. - I do think this'll be good. Let's try the chicken salad sandwich. - Got a little grape skin action.

Mm, there's like nothing. - Yeah, I'm with you. How did I do this? - I feel like this kind of sandwich needs chicken sauce, or like needs soup. All right. We've got the Smokehouse BBQ Chicken.

- Let's try the Smokehouse Barbecue Chicken sandwich. It tastes like a barbecue chicken pizza. Kind of like it. - Yeah. I would actually, I would order that. Keith I'm really excited to announce this next sandwich. - What is it?

- It's the classic Grilled Cheese. - Oh! - We're going for it. That's just peeling off. - What are you doing? Playing with it. The crust-less grilled cheese sandwich. Let's try it.

- There's not enough butter on this. Are you okay? You look like you're like dying. - I'm okay. - Oh God!

Why are you doing that? - Feeling it now. - It feels soft. I don't even think it tastes good as the sandwich, but it's a pretty good beauty blender. What's next, do you think? - You wanna guess? - Ooh, yes! - Okay, hold on. - A roast beef sandwich.

- No. - Fuck. What about that one? - You wanna guess? - Roast beef? - No, it's turkey. - Do they not have beef at Panera? - The other one is a steak sandwich. - Okay! Pretty fucking good guess if you ask me. - [Alex] All right, let's take a look at their turkey sandwich huh? - Look at what's happening to these onions.

Oh boy, they smell wild. (laughing) - What? Is it another B.O. onion? - Uh-huh. - Body onion? - Body onion- - Ooh, yeah! - Body yadi-yadi-yadi-yadi-yadi-yadi-onion.

(Alex laughs heartily) - It's got mustard on it. I like mustard, let's go. The Turkey Sandwich. Those onions are, from two days ago.

- Not for me. - I think it's fine. I think it's definitely, if you're hungry for a turkey sandwich, it's gonna satisfy you. The mustard was kind of out of control. - Last but not least, the Steak and White Cheddar.

- And white cheddar. I hate it when sandwiches are like this. Because I don't want just beef and cheese. Like, I still want tomato, or I want like a pepper, or something.

Okay, let's try this. - All right. - This is almost pretty good. It needs to be a French dip.

Or? - A sauce. - A sauce. - Try it with the sauce. It's actually pretty good. - I know it's gonna be good. - Well, why don't you wanna give yourself- - I'm full. - That makes sense. - Yeah, it's better.

Well Alex, thanks for dropping by with the menu. What's going on with you buddy? - Well, I'll tell you what's going on with me. Lewburger things are going on with me, that's right! This July, we've got an awesome show. "The Wizard of Friendship."

It's a really cool musical that we've been workin' on. It takes all the cool original Lewberger music you love and created a fun, fantastic musical out of it. Keith gets to play not only himself, but he also plays a giant bird in a man suit. What? If that's not enough to intrigue you, then I don't know what will.

So get your tickets now at Dynasty Typewriter, July 15th. It's gonna be quite the show. - We also have a podcast called celebrity theme song, where us and a celebrity meet and write a song about their favorite celebrity. The celebrity's favorite celebrity. - We've had Terry Crews, we've had Mari Takahashi.

- We've had President Joe Biden. - That's right- - Maybe by the time this comes out we'll find out. - President Joe Biden! Maybe, we don't know.

We don't know. - He came and did a song about Miley Cyrus, it was- - He loves her. Party in the USA and he's the president of the USA.

Makes sense. - It does! - Anyway, we got a lot of cool stuff. Make sure you check out Lewberger on all the socials and Alex Lewis on the socials at I8athumbtack.

- And one more thing. As always, if you're a college, a student union, or a private organization and you want Lewberger to play, email That's probably the most important one. Please do that one. (Keith clapping) Bye! - Bye Lew. Next up is flatbreads and joining me for his first ever appearance on the Eat The Menu table stage is none other than Caleb the fitness Marshall! - Wooooooo! (Keith laughing heartily) - And I'm your first guest with nipples! - Yes, we've never had a guest come on the show with their nipples, present.

Caleb, explain to people what you do. - Oh God, I make dance fitness videos for every type of person, every shape, size, body, I just wanna get people up and movin' and having a good time. - We featured some of your videos in the early pandemic when we were doing some fitness stuff. I definitely was doing a lot of your dances then, and still love to throw on, a fitness Marshall every so often, it's just fun.

Your guys' energy is so contagious and positive. - Thank you, Keith. - And I love it. - And you can see my nipples. - Yes, and you get to see his nipples. So, we're gonna start off with the cheese flatbreads.

What's your opinion of Panera? - I feel like it's kind of like, like school lunch. Like you eat it if you have to, but you'd rather go to Taco Bell. - I will say your description of school. lunch feels apt in this moment specifically.

This looks like an extra large school lunch pizza. Okay, well, let's try the Cheese Flatbread. Cheers? Sure, I'll put it, yeah. - I would rather have school lunch. - It's not bad, but it's really bland. - It's so bland- - It does taste like a pita, in the world- - I'm having a bad time.

- Okay, I'm sorry, well, (Caleb laughing) - It's gonna get better maybe. - I'll tell you what. I don't think you could tell the difference between this, and this. - Oh, I bet you could. Well, let's find out. Mix 'em up for me. (chuckling) Mix 'em up. Put one in each hand. - All right.

You're not gonna know. - Okay, I can kinda tell- - You're not gonna know. - Okay, okay, mm-hm, okay, le paperie- - Uh-huh. - Let's try the second one. (Caleb laughing) - You know Caleb, while I can tell the difference, I would say there's not a huge amount of flavor from either.

But texturally it's pretty obvious this one's cardboard. (laughing) All right, we're gonna try the sausage and pepperoni pizza. There you go, here's yours. - Thank you! This looks better. - This looks way better.

The Sausage & Pepperoni Flatbread. That is good school pizza. - Very good school pizza, mm-hm. - It even has that weird, dry crumbly nature that school sausage has. I don't love it, but I absolutely adore it compared to the cheese. This one is the margarita.

Now I know you enjoy a good margherita. - Every time! - I do enjoy following you, not just for your fitness content. but for your Palm Springs party content. - That's all right. (laughing) - I feel like your Instagram almost every weekend is fun in Palm Springs with drag queens and bingo.

- Mm-hm, yeah. - And I love it! - That's great. - It looks like you're having a great time. - See, I struggled being a fitness influencer, 'cause I'm like, should I be showing this, every single weekend consistently? - But you're a fitness influencer, and you're, you know, you're making fitness content for everybody. - That's true. - And I think you're showing that like, you can have healthy lifestyle choices, and less healthy lifestyle choices. - That's it. - It's about being a well-rounded person.

- I love the drink and I love drag queens. - There you go. The Margherita.

- That was a mouthful. - It was big. - It's exploding in my mouth in a bad way. - It's okay. It needs more salt. - There's no salt. - There's no salt.

- Is that supposed to be fresh? Does that look fresh to you? - It's a little wilted Caleb. - It's very wilted! - It's a little wilted. That happens- - People pay for this. - It's being put on a hot pizza. Steam changes things.

I heard the other day that Crocs just shrink in heat. If you leave your Crocs outside on a hot day or leave them in a hot car they'll shrink within 30 minutes. Anyway- - What? - Yeah, Alexandria just pulled up a picture of a Croc that has shrunk.

I mean, that's a good five to six sizes difference. What if you went out on a hot day and as you were walking, your shoe just shrank? And also what would Cinderella have done, if she had worn Crocs? They would've shrank in the search, and then the wrong girl would've been found! That said, the Margherita Pizza is very mediocre. But how about this? Tell me about how you came to do fitness martial.

Like how did you start? - Well, I love eating things like this, I hated exercise. And I was like, I gotta figure something out. So I got to college, I started taking dance fitness classes, realized that me pretending to be Britney Spears in the mirror when I was a kid, was something I was able to actually do in a workout class. And I was like, oh my God, this is my calling. I heard the angels singing, I felt Richard Simmons and Britney Spears enter my body at the same time, and then they gave me a pop star mic.

They let me teach a class, and that's 10 years ago. I've never stopped. - That was it. This pepperoni pizza is better than the cheese, but not as good as the sausage and pepperoni together. It's not bad. Caleb doesn't like it. - You know, is it obvious?

- Okay, (laughing) we have one more pizza and it's the most unique. It's the Chipotle pizza. - Oh! - Whoa! - That's fun. - This looks like Panera. - Yeah. - The sauce zigzagged across- - Personality, look at that.

- Somebody had to zigzag that sauce. - I'm excited about this one. - This one is the most exciting one. - I'm genuinely excited- - I think we should go in the middle, 'cause the most concentration of toppings lives in the middle. - That's the piece I was gonna go for. - Oh, I'm sorry.

- So let's try the Chipotle pizza. - I'm not mad about this one. - This is what it should be about. You know? And I want, only non-traditional flat breads from you.

I want like a steak and blue cheese flatbread. I wanna like, go for it! - Yeah! - Just fucken go for it baby! - Don't be scared. - Don't be scared. - Go for it, you're Panera.

You can do it, you did it. - Do a breakfast pizza. - This isn't you! - Sausage and eggs. - You're trying to be someone you'

2022-07-23 18:13

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