How to Build A Business You Love | Jason Goldberg

How. You guys feeling. He. Excited to be here, this. Is advanced Estonian, you guys know that's what class you're in we're gonna be learning advanced, Estonian this is what we're gonna do here. So. First thing where did you somebody's had no problem in the most beautiful, Estonian accent ever. Not. Fair. We're. Gonna do a little game first and I want to get you guys started off in a good good set I, guess games so, game number one is give me all your money. Just. Kidding just kidding okay so here's we're going to do so I think, we'll be able to do this if you're on the edges you may have to kind of reach either behind or ahead of you to do this I want, everybody to do two things number one I want you to take your left hand and put, it out like this. I'm, not gonna make you sing I'm a little teapot I promise everybody, think I know this game shut up no you down. Left. Hand out like this right hand I want to take your index finger your pointer finger, and put, it into the palm of the person next to you so. It should look like this, right see just want a finger, unit note so now that's, Knight now put. Your finger in your neighbors hand we're, good good. Okay this is beautiful all right you guys are so good at following directions so, here's, we're going to do on the count of three you're. Gonna try and do two things simultaneously. Number. One you, are going to try to grab, the. Finger that is currently in your palm while. Simultaneously trying. To get your finger out of the, palm of the person next to you on the, count of three overachievers, I saw you. Mind. Value, or a limit, list and you don't have to follow any rules okay. On. The count of three you ready one. Two. Three. You, can let go now that's, how restraining, orders happened you can let go. Okay. We're gonna we're good you, guys sucked so we're gonna do an ohm kit no no you agree you're good that was that was my inner voice that wasn't supposed to come out. We're. Gonna do it one more time so reset so left hand out I'm a little teapot style. Finger. In the palm of the person next to you we're, getting really intimate, and. On the count of three again this. Is the hardest part of my entire presentation like, if you nail this you, are set on the, count of three remove your finger grab the finger we're clear yes okay. One. Two. Cheese. Cheese. Guys. Extra. Shame on the vegans who went when I said cheese, extra. Shame on you. So. You. Guys can have a seat thank you so much give yourselves a round of applause. So. Why why, did I do that game with you why did I start that way it's, it's very it should be obvious but I'm gonna tell you anyways it's. Because very early on in my talks I want to establish dominance, over the crowd and so. No I'm kidding no, you. Followed all my directions no, it's. Because the. Fundamental, principle that's at play when. We jump. The gun and. Try. To grab the finger when, I say cheese, instead. Of three is, because. We have this simple fundamental, misunderstanding something, I do a lot of my work I call them SFM simple, fundamental misunderstanding that, we, kind of know. A lot of the things that we're hearing and we. Know what's coming next and we've experienced, this thing before and we just played this game four seconds ago so we know exactly what's coming and, the. Problem with that is that by doing that we. Hold on to a set of beliefs and limitations, of what can be and. It makes it a lot harder for us to learn and this is a lesson that I want not just for my session but for all of mine value, is to. Practice, suspending. Your beliefs about what. You think it takes to run a business or. To. Build powerful, relationships, personally, or professionally or. To. Get in the best shape of, your life or just to have a sense of well-being. To. Be willing to suspend your beliefs about what you think that looks like even if you're sure even if you're certain I've heard this before I've tried this before it didn't work for me this doesn't apply to me suspending. Those who beliefs just long enough to, play, with what you may learn here is. Everybody cool with doing that just for the next month that, you're here at mind values everybody cooled that can just get a show of hands, nice. And some wounds can I get some Woo's. Woo, I, love. That okay cool so so, let's get into this so here's the thing. The. Way this works in personal growth is that you guys won't really listen to what I'm saying until, I can prove to you that I'm valuable and so.

I Need to become a sage on the stage at a very short amount of time you'll listen to me so we're gonna try and do this as quickly as possible I'm. Not just a guy with. A madman style haircut and a, cool couch I've, done, work with all these cool logos not the companies just, the logos. No. I'm kidding so I've done all this stuff and that's great but there's a lot more to me than, just a cool, couch and logos it. Has been said that I. Am the Jimmy Fallon of personal growth, which. That was a huge, honor when, that when I first heard that it. Was my mom that said it. And. It was when I asked her to say it. And. It still counts, so I don't really care. And. To. Really drive this home I don't have a whole lot of time I don't have like a day to work with you guys I only have like an hour hour and a half especially, with that lip syncing I wasted so much time such a waste now that I look back I. Needed. To as effectively, and as efficiently as, possible get, you to know everything, there is that you could know about me so that you trust me so we can move forward and so. I racked my brain and I got into my most playful creative, mode and I think I found a way to get all of your respect in 15. Seconds or less by sharing everything, you could possibly need to know about me you guys down to note to know about me in this way to really get deep with me okay. Here we go everything you need to know about me in 15 seconds or less. Are. We good now so. Those of you paying attention that was my bio followed. By the Constitution. Followed. By the Wikipedia, entry for Back to the Future followed. By my shopping list. So. Ever they have Pez on my shopping list I don't. And I gotta take cottage cheese off there I'm dairy free now because all you people made me do it and I have bacon on there three times that's appropriate okay cool so so, now, that we do we feel comfortable do you guys trust me now can I get some Woo's if you trust me okay. Good, this works every time and NLP for the win okay so um who, here raise your hands if you've ever felt like you were drowning in your own feces. Wow. Only one that's amazing okay this. Is probably not gonna go like I thought it was I thought. There's gonna be a lot more people into that, well. Let me tell you about it so feces is, an. Acronym. FEC. S that, stands for fetal, entrepreneur, couch syndrome. Oh. Feces. I hear. It now no. I didn't mean guys I meant like I meant this so has anybody ever experienced, this fetal entreprenuer, couch syndrome, it's if you're an entrepreneur and you find yourself in the fetal position on, the couch wondering. What in the you're doing with your life and wondering, why you decided to do this instead of just working at a corporate job because that would be so much smarter and your family would actually respect the work you're doing and you could pay for things like toilet. Paper. Yes. Yes. The. Jasons habits I. Experienced. A lot of feces in my life. The. Time when I really discovered, that, it was feces that I was dealing with I had my own feces. Moment, where one night in, 2013 I've, been doing coaching and speaking now for about five years a little over five years before that I had a couple other more traditional startups, which you should know if you saw my bio, and. There. Was this night it, was a Thursday night and it was seven pm I know it was 7 p.m. because jeopardy, was on any Jeopardy fans in the house, yeah. Cool I had a couple cerebral, types maybe, you guys like real a fortune instead you know what the plebs watch, so. So. I was trying to watch jeopardy but I couldn't because, I was in the. Fetal, position on. My couch scrolling. On my phone not, on Facebook like I normally would be but. On monster, and Careerbuilder. And. I. Was about a year into my coaching practice the. First year of my coaching business I made $12,000. Which. Is that's not sure it was like eleven. Thousand, six hundred and seventy two dollars which. Is. Also, because five thousand of that was me transferring money from my personal account into my business account. So. I didn't make much my first year and I, felt like I was putting in all this work I felt like I was being so serious, and like determined.

And And tried, to do this work and not getting the traction that I thought I should be getting and so, all of that led me to be on the couch in, the fetal position scrolling. And looking for a job and saying, this I'm done, it's. Too hard like. It's just I don't understand why it's not working for me and. What. I realized through that process and, and. Then getting coaching around that myself and doing my own my own inner work and a lot of the stuff that all of you are doing on a regular basis, which is one of the reasons you're here is you believe in this stuff is I. Realized that I was taking, life, and business. Very. Seriously, very. Seriously. I was making it the most significant. Thing in my life has. Anybody ever done this before just taken, life or business way to thank God I thought. Were gonna have another feces moment with like this one beautiful, woman raising, her hand and everybody else like what the hell you're talking about and. Seriousness. Was so pervasive in my life and so. Pervasive, in my health, that. I had struggled with weight my entire life, I was. 250. Pounds when, I was 15 years old. Which. Is when kids are really loving and accepting and, would never judge you. Based. On your appearance so teenage years were awesome for me and. It. Got worse and worse to the point where in my late 20s I was, making, six figures well over six figures in a corporate IT job I was in technology, for 15 years and at, 29 years of age I looked like this. Nobody. Says wow when i lip-sync, a rap song that's pretty, cool but you're fat you get a Wow. Priorities. People so. I, was. 332. Pounds here, and, because. I have an international audience I google this I was 150, kilos so. You can stop googling, 27. Stone I. Think. Maybe 23 whatever, and. Beyond. The. Way I looked that wasn't the worst of it the heavier weight that I was carrying was, the mental weight and the. Emotional, weight and, so. Much sadness and, anger. And, depression. And. Suicidal. Thoughts I, mean. It was it was a really dark time for me no matter how good I was doing in my corporate job it, was really, feeling heavy and hard and serious to be me and. And. What you can't even see in this picture the real tragedy, is in that middle shot I'm wearing socks and flip-flops I mean, it was it was a bad time in my life guys it was really. It. Was a really dangerous time, to be me. So. I ended up taking control of my life and if you want to know the story of my weight loss stuff it's the first chapter in my book Prison Break he goes all in depth of that and I want to really focus on the entrepreneurial, stuff with you guys so I'm not gonna go into that but check out the book you can read that and and, so what I really came to realize here was that the biggest lie that. We have ever been told or sold in our lives and businesses, is that, we have to be serious, to be successful.

Literally. I heard for years, you better get serious about your health if, you're. A serious, entrepreneur, you would do this if you want to be in a serious relationship you'll. Show up this way and. For. Me language, is important, language, is super-important, it when I hear the word serious, I contract' I get. Small my butthole puckers up like I do not want to take action I was. That TMI for some of you. I don't. Want to take action when I'm feeling overly serious can anybody resonate with this is the word serious, feel contracting, to you and. This. Is the opposite of serious, is not to be aimless, or reckless or not have any idea or goal or plan or whatever you want to do the. Opposite of serious, in my world and this is a distinction that I originally got from Alan Watts is sincere. The. Opposite of serious is sincere, I want, to be sincere, about my work I want to be committed I want to be devoted I want, to pay attention I want to pour my love and my service, into my work. But. I don't want to take it overly seriously, I don't want to make it overly significant. Just. Resonate yes or no I mean. Like Jim says yes sir yes I'm. So stealing that's, awesome so. So. That kind of became my mission in life is how do I help people be less serious and be higher performing, as a result of it and so I created a program called playful, prosperity, that I started last year which is super fun and super awesome it's all about how to be more playful how to create inner and outer prosperity, for, the first group of graduates I created this image with all their pictures and then in the middle it says I love. You. So. Mulch. It. Can't all be winners folks. I. Thought. That was genius. So. Did my mom. By. The way I love how all my notes and their presenter notes are in Estonian very helpful as I go through the presentation. Mark. Made poll, that's. What it says I don't know I just, called, somebody's mother a whore I have no clue what's going on. So. Anyways then I took that a step further and, and what I really do now is I primarily work with coaches online, educators, thought leaders speakers and I. Wanted, to get all of us this is why I'm telling you this I want to get all of us out of this, belief, in thinking a that business has to be serious be that business has to be hard and see. That there's some cookie cutter way that you're supposed to build your business if. Anybody tells you this is the way to build your business run as fast as you can because. There is no way to run your business right, there is your way but, there is no V Way and the. Message that I got so much when I first started this business and actually I had two other startups that had nothing to do with personal growth before and the same thing apply there is everybody. Wanted me to kind of do what they had done everybody wanted me to do what everybody else had done and to, me that's doing business as usual and I. Want you guys instead, to do business unusual. Right. I want. You to really key into what makes you you and have that be the driving force for you creating your business so. I actually created a program called the business unusual, system it's the bus for short so we have tons of bus jokes hence the vroom vroom honk honk I'm, nothing, if not a 7 year old with my comedy and. So that's really what I want to play with with you guys today is some of the stuff that I've actually only taught in this program and then I saved so I could teach here with you guys because you guys are my tribe any a Fester's, in the house by the way show, of hands and show of Wu's come. On who's a festers there, we go ok so I my, my mind valley tribe is so close to my heart so I'm I'm sharing this stuff with you that I haven't shared anywhere else publicly, but. The core of everything that I'm going to share with you today is really one question, and we're gonna go back to this question over and over again and it's, this, how. Can i play with this. Right. Any challenge, any opportunity, any stressor how can i play with this. So. The. Question is how can i play with this and play is bolded, not, just because it's worth focusing on but. Because we don't actually have to work on stuff right, we can play with, things there's. This I think. It's Japanese it there's a term called also basecoat Oba has anybody heard of also bass kotoba. Sweet. That I could just make up, this. Is a real thing and essentially. It's it's it's a concept, in in Japan where instead of working on things you play with them right, so, you don't work, through challenges, you play through challenges, you, don't work on a project you play with a project right.

You Think about musical instruments musical. Instruments are played they're not worked. Musical. Instruments also do not play themselves right, they require engagement, they require us to be sincerely, involved, in order, for that music to be made. So. How can i play with this becomes. Kind of the mantra for what we're doing here is everybody down with that to play with your challenges, yes, awesome. Okay so what I want to do here is I want to go through a few of these s FM's that I mentioned right simple, fundamental, misunderstandings, of what it takes to run a business I want to give you access to what. I have not only done for myself for what I continue to do every day like. If there's ever a time where, the stuff I'm teaching is not stuff I'm still working on myself I'm not, meant to teach that anymore I'm. Uniquely. Qualified to teach everything that I teach because it's still my work daily not with clients, only with myself, these, are daily things that I have to check into as well, so. We're gonna go through three things here now the other thing I want to mention is I really, I'm trying, my best to do this because I know it's the format that that we're doing here, I really. Prefer conversation. Over presentation. So. I'm going to share things with you but I really want us to get into, question. And answer but, even if it's like some live coaching if there's something going on in your world I want to make this real for you because if you love everything you hear in this room and then on the other side of the doors it doesn't actually apply and it doesn't work for you this was a total, waste besides, my beautiful performance, this is a total, waste of your time and energy right. This needs to work on those the, other side of doors right so. I want you guys to be thinking as you're sitting here listening asking, yourselves. Ok where where might this apply in my life and where do I need some support to make that happen and we'll, have a chance to do that somewhere towards the end of the talk ok so just be thinking about that as going through this so, the first simple, month fundamental, misunderstanding I want to talk about is around finding your voice and owning your power. And. I hear this so much from people they want to do this now, the funny thing is it doesn't actually show up this way and again like I said language is super important nobody, wakes up at 3 a.m. and says oh my, god if I could just find my voice and own my power my. Life would be so much better actually. Maybe in this group some people do bad. Those. People are also sleeping, in Lululemon, yoga pants, who you said you do then that's totally fine I didn't, mean to make fun of you so. So. What really happens is they're. Taking life too seriously in the way it really typically formulates, in your head is oh crap this, is super serious I need to be a hundred percent original and, a frigging all-knowing, expert in order to be successful as anybody to have this thought in their head they have to be a completely, original. Revolutionary. Breaking. The mold better than anybody's ever done anything before, yeah. And, that. Really, holds us back and we start taking that stuff so seriously, that. We have to be a hundred percent, all-knowing. Expert. Now. Here's the thing who here is now, or wants to be a coach and online educator or speaker a trainer something, in personal growth okay. Cool and other. People here who are entrepreneurs, that want to do something service, based raise your hand, cool. Alright so there so we've covered pretty much everybody. Especially. If you're a coach a speaker a trainer and online educator and with, service-based industry stuff, now connection. Is the number one form of currency we have, so. If you are not willing to be at the forefront if you're not willing to be the face of your, brand it's.

Gonna Be more difficult to grow your business in my opinion right, this is all just my experience, of business in the world there's nothing I'm saying here that's right or wrong I'm not saying it's gonna work for you or it won't work for you so I don't need you to agree with me or believe me or trust me I'm. Just sharing my experience, and that has been my experience that, it's super super important for us to be a part a huge part of what we're doing and so, if, that is true, then. Why, would we focus on trying to be a hundred percent all-knowing, expert. Right. It doesn't make sense because that has nothing to do with us and so, the distinction came and I work primarily in distinctions, this versus that makes, it very easy to remember right so you don't have to have like a five-step process to do the stuff that I'm talking your about it's like. Four down day. And night like it's Edo boy and girl it's, the. Last ones a little more difficult but but typically like up and down left and right on and off like it's it's easy its distinctions so I want to share with you a really key distinction here that changed, my, entire life, honestly, I really mean this I'm not exaggerating which I tend to do but this one time I'm not going to move. This out hopefully you guys can all see this I, thought. That, when, I first started my business I didn't just think I obsessed, over, finding. The thing that I would be known for. The. One thing I could say is mine the proprietary, process or, the, the message or the the whatever it was that was gonna be my thing and, once, I found that thing the money was just gonna pour, in and I was gonna be T Harv Eker overnight, or or Oprah. Or somebody equally disgustingly. Rich and. So. When I started. My. Goal was. This. Right. What. To be known for and it. Was debilitating a. Because. Everywhere I would look somebody, has done that already, everywhere. I go people have, already done that message I remember, the first person I saw that was kind of doing comedy along. With personal growth was Marie Forleo anybody, know Marie Forleo yeah. Awesome, right if you haven't checked her out she's fantastic, check. Me out first. To. Exhaustion, and then, when you have like 30 seconds of energy left check her out but check her out with that 30 seconds really focus on her and. She was the first person I saw and immediately, while, I wanted to be like oh my god I'm so excited somebody, else is doing comedy and personal growth I instead, said oh my god somebody's, doing comedy and personal growth. So. I can't do it anymore it's. It's total, so here's. What I shifted, to so instead of being known for it obsessing, over my content. Right. Obsessing, over being known for one particular thing I started. Seeing that when I would be out in public and I would do talks and and I would I would be on a podcast, or, when I was doing the the tour the book, tour the press tour for Prison Break I would be on like these morning talk shows and, I. Noticed. This, thing that kept happening that. I totally. Pushed away then, I like ignored, I didn't know I didn't ignore it I, activate. Away I actively fought against it was. They people would come up to me out talk and they would say something like I really loved what you said like I really love this distinction or that lesson or that thing and I'm really excited to practice it but more than that there.

Was Something about the way you showed up that, just gave me permission to be more playful in life. Yeah. You say oh and I should have said all but I didn't I was like yeah yeah playful joy tell me how smart I am again tell. Me what tell me what was it about the distinction you love so much and I was like actively, pushing away this thing that people were saying dude, this is you made a difference in my life in this way like. At a deep fundamental energetic. Level and there. Was there was one time I was on this morning talk show in Sacramento. California good, day Sacramento and, and. The the, anchor, was amazing, some of these anchors you go on the shows they don't care at all like, you like they're asking you questions and you could say like yeah you know all of my pets just died in the fire and they go that's fascinating, so let's also talk I'm like alright fine whatever but. This. Guy was on it like he had done the research he was super just excited to be there he brought a lot of energy to the interview and afterwards. He came up to me and for whatever reason, and you guys know what this looks like like you know quick. Detour for those of you who are coaches speakers online educators whatever if you, have a big ego you're gonna hate what I'm about to say but just, stay with me for a minute, you. Are in, the reminder. Business. You're. Not that special you, are but, not for the reasons you think you're. In the reminder, business. Stop. All this pressure of coming up with the most revolutionary, thing in the world that's gonna change everybody's, lives because essentially we know what this stuff it. Doesn't matter if you if I need. The reminders, I'm in this world I mean I immersed myself in this world for the last five years I do this work on a daily basis with other people I could pay to do this work and yet I still need reminders, so. Why would I think people who are not immersed in this work wouldn't also need reminders. You're. In the reminder, business that can be freeing, a, if you really see it for what it is. So. Back, to this guy in Sacramento, he. Said listen I love what you said I I read, half of your book before you came here I loved what you said in the book he's. Like but dude there's just something about the joy you bring when, you walk in a room our. Producers. Said it our, camera, people said it the, line producer said, the people who set the appointment said it I'm saying if the other anchor said everybody, sees this, joy that you bring and. For. Whatever reason, that day that, reminder. I knew that I was a playful guy but that reminder, from that person and that day is what made me make the shift of what I'm gonna tell you here is, that. Instead of trying, to be known for something I. Shifted. Into what. Could I be known. For. Activating, within. Others. Instead. Of what can I be known for. What. Could I be known for, activating, in others. And. I, want you all to really do this work I want. And there's there are ways you can do this there you know there are questions you can ask people ask, people straight up people that you love people that trust you people that really know you ask them, what, do you get from being around me, how.

Does Your life feel after an interaction, with me you. Can ask them this what do I activate, in you what do I give you permission to do in life and. It. Doesn't matter if you're a coach or not if you're a service provider if you're any kind of entrepreneur, and you, agree as we talked about earlier that you. Are at the forefront of what you're selling, then. It's so important, to know this. Because. Once you know what. You activate, within people that. Becomes the butter in the pan of every. Dish that you cook, and. It's. So beautiful to do that because when you really key into that when you really figure out what it is for you maybe, you help people see, possibilities, maybe you give them hope, maybe, you are playful and you activate joy maybe you activate, you know deep thought maybe you polarize there's. Something, that you do that. Is that every single one of you activates, something within people and. When. You know that especially from a personal branding perspective it's beautiful because you can change what. You are known for limitless. Times and as. Long as people are keyed into what they know they could expect from you what you are going to activate within them energetically, they'll. Follow you if this changes. Is. This making sense yes or yes. I'm. Stealing it I think, it's like a dive to pay him a dime every time I say, it but it's totally worth it like a dollar or two for this whole talk totally cool. This. Has become like literally when I when I work with people in in groups that we've, done live days together with like in a seminar where we spend a half a day on this distinction. Because. I believe it's so important, right, the butter in the pan the thing that underpins everything you do to. Anchor into that state before you do anything else and I know this to be true for me this is not anecdotal this is not intellectual, because my message has changed, a lot, over the last five years and the same, people will continue to follow me because they know no matter what I share no matter what I'm known for they, always know they'll leave with a certain feeling from, interacting with me whether online in-person anything else. So. I want you to do this work for yourself ask people what you activate within them another thing you can do another way you can find this for yourself look, back in your childhood and look. For two different things. Number. One what. You were praised for. Right. The way you got love affection. Attention. Admiration. For. Me when I look back as a kid I was a performer I was. Always the one telling jokes, probably. Way, inappropriate for like a seven-year-old the jokes I was telling but whatever at, least I'm consistent, I. Would, perform I would sing like I would be the one that family dinners like lip-syncing, or singing and just performing. And bringing joy into the world right that was that was the thing that I got praise for and. The. Other side of that is look back in your life as a kid and see what did you get in trouble for. Because. That's also very telling about what you can activate in people in a positive way I also. Got in trouble for being the class clown I got. In trouble for being a little bit disruptive. My. Mom would get report, cards home from my teacher saying, Jason such an amazing students so bright, so. Talented, if he would just shut the hell up he. Would be an absolute joy to have and, I think that's wrong for a teacher to write that I don't know I'm not a teacher in that way but I think it's wrong to write that so, so this is a big thing for me so when you're worried about being a 100%, original all-knowing. Expert. Realizing. That you don't have to be an expert at anything but you. Like this is something I say all the time. Is. To. Remember. That at one point the. Beatles were a cover band. Right. They, had to just do the work out in the world to find who they really were, so. Gelt in the world and start using your gifts in whatever way you have them figure out what you're known for activating, and then put your message on top of that because here's the big equation that changes when I first started I thought that and. I knew this was kind of part of it in some way when I first started though I believe that success in in, in the personal growth world at least coach speaker online educator things like that was. 90%. What. I'm known for and 10%. What, I activate in other people. And. Guess. What I found out eventually. They're. Flipped. This. Is 90% you 10%. What you're known for how, do I know this to be true. Because. If. You. Were. To look at my timeline and Facebook in any given time you will see people tagging, me and posts about bacon.

Socks. And rap. Music oh and to Jason's point two out of three I got bacon socks okay. I'm. All about efficiency guys. What. How is that important, how could I possibly attribute, that to me growing my business at the level I have. Because. People feel connected to me first. People. Don't buy from businesses, they, buy from people, that. They connect to so. You want to increase. What. I call. Especially. If you're doing anything online this is especially popular or, effective. With, online stuff is. Your HOF and no I don't mean the guy from Baywatch who is eating the burger all drunk on the floor not that HOF this, HOF stands for hangout, factor. You. Want to increase your. Hangout. Factor. And. When. You increase your hangout factor people. Want to hang, out with you. They. Look at you on line they see whatever you're sharing doesn't, matter what the ten percent is your message they go I like, this person. There's. Something about them they're kind of cool I'd like to grab a beer with them I'd like to you know go. To dinner with them I'd like to just kind of be in their sphere and, if. People feel that way about you and they feel like they truly know you and what what makes you tick, then. It lowers all the resistance, for, them to be able to receive your message that 10%. See. I'm kind of a goofball and I and I perform, and I do funny stuff but. And I can share this with you guys because of the context of what we're talking about everything. That happened at the start of this talk today was. To lower your resistance, to learning I. Showed. It my joy and, in my play and in my fun before. I gave you anything of value content. Wise, because. I wanted you to be in a state of joy and play and fun I wanted to activate, that within you so, that you'd be more willing if that resonates now there are some people who are not going to resonate I remember when I had a video, that went up promoting, playful prosperity, and I talked very fast right, if you guys haven't noticed I talked very fast and it. Just means you have to listen faster and so. This, woman posted on one of my videos you are. So irritating. And. I. Responded to her and I said you're right sometimes. I'm irritating as and then, she responded, but not nearly as irritating as my soon-to-be-ex-husband. I, immediately. Found that guy and congratulated, him by the way. So. Not everybody's gonna resonate but for the people that do, they. Will go. Through hell with you right. They'll go to the the heights of heaven and the pits of hell they'll be with you and there's missteps in your business they'll, celebrate and, spread your message far. And wide there'll be raving, loyal fans look at how all of us and I say us including, me are raving, fans of mine Valley it's because there's an energetic connection, right. You, there may be teachers, that you found or authors that you found that drew you in because of the subject matter but, you don't I guarantee. You and if, you think I'm wrong, sit with this until I'm right. Is. That. Nobody, sticks around. Mine. Valley online, or offline coming to events like this because, of the teachers allowed. Because. All these teachers teach other places and there. Are other teachers who teach things like them but. There is an energetic field, and under Jake vibe a. Real, the, whole lit up this right you guys know this like mine Valley is all about being lit up so, people who resonate with being lit up in their lives will, follow mine value no matter what goes on and I, want that for all of you and it's possible for all of you so focusing on your hangout factor and not worry about being a 100 percent all-knowing expert this, is making sense yes, is. This helpful yes. No. Options there. Just. Yes okay, so to. Kind of sum this up I talked about mindset and entrepreneurship, that's essentially everything that I talk about and so, people could say well everybody talks about that or a lot of people talk about that you're right see. It may just be mindset, but, when I talk about mindset I bring in comedy, I bring in high energy I bring in an occasional f-bomb.

And Massive. Amounts of joy. And simplification, to complex, and otherwise boring or heavy ideas. Right. This. Is possible for everybody here find, out what it is you activate, and make. That the base foundation. Of everything you teach, cool. All right the next one the next simple, fundamental, misunderstanding is, about, overcoming, ego, and resistance, anybody. Ever feel resistance around, doing things getting to work putting things out in the world be. Honest guys, it's, okay it's uh I'm yet I'm raising my hand to like I feel resistance all the time it's totally cool and again. Nobody wakes up in middle of the night except for you here in the front row saying, if I could just overcome my ego and resistance I'd be successful, but. I love that you do that and I doubt you do this at 2:00 in the morning but it just felt jolly today what I don't know. Usually. Shows up is this oh crap this is serious I need to be completely fearless. Fully. Believe in myself and have the perfect pitch before, I can put myself out there has anybody ever felt that way show of hands yeah. I. Have. Felt this way so many times and I've. Been told by people and, many. Of you probably have as well, that. There, are ways to to. Push. Fear out of your life, to. Get over fear to, push through fear, to, overcome, fear, to. Insert masculine. Verb fear. Here, that's. One of those jokes I can't do in corporate environments what are you in a masculine verb all verbs, are masculine bah ha ha ha. We're. So diverse here we got white guys with hair and without her. Sorry. Hashtag. Social commentary. My. Uncle actually text me and said hey can you come home early I said why he said cuz Trump's going to Finland. What's. That matter to me anyway, sorry just sidebar, sometimes, I like to share my family, with audiences so. So. The need to be completely, fearless again, is just one of these simple fundamental, misunderstandings, I don't. Need to be fearless I don't need to control my, emotions that way I can. Recognize, agreeing. Or question Oh. Slides. Please. It's. In case you're wondering was the flick of the left wrist that did it it's not the right one that's a decoy. It's. Like spider-man sorry. So. Yeah. I don't get over fear I don't try to get over fear anymore what. I do with fear and with.

Heavy. Emotions, I wouldn't call them negative emotions I don't believe in negative emotions I mean they feel negative, but when, you're not, super. Low you realize what they are there's, a great chapter in my book called your intuition, is drunk, so, I. Would. Definitely read that chapter because it goes a little deeper into this but, but what I try to do now. Probably. Spelling this wrong is to, feel the fear and allow it to be irrelevant. So. If I need to overcome, the fear I now need to spend my creative, time and energy. Trying. To force something out that honestly doesn't want to be here anyways right like thoughts and emotions they come in and they like just want to hang out for a little while and like kind of terrorize, you I've another chapter in a book called quieting, the baby assassin, and that's, like in your heads like I picture like a little baby and like a ninja uniform, and he's like kicking, and chopping. And inside my head he, doesn't want to stay right like those thoughts don't want to stay they want to leave but what we do is is the fear comes in and instead of saying, oh cool, there's the fear that's that thing that happens sometimes and just kind of letting it be and making it irrelevant to your experience, of life we. Grab onto it and we make it our Dali and we're I'm gonna take you everywhere with me and you're my new best friend and tell me how much I suck tell, me I'm fat and I'm stupid, and I'll never be successful and we like carry it with us and that's when we're trying to overcome fear that's what we're doing we're holding on to something that doesn't want to stick around to begin with so. I want to do my best to make this irrelevant right. To see it to, allow it to be and not, have it have some huge. Impact. On my experience of life now, how do we do that. There's. Another distinction I want to share with you that I go. Back to time, and time again especially. In my own life but with clients as well and, the. Only time, we, get into this place where, we think we need to be completely fearless and completely. Believe in ourselves and, have the perfect pitch before we can put ourselves out there is when. We are here. In. A, place of ego. Because. If you look on the, slide. Notice. There's, a delay it, goes up to the universe and consciousness. In the back there's a speck of 40, millisecond, delay. Look. At this statement I need. To be completely fearless I need, to fully believe in myself, like.

It's Me it's me me me and when. It's about me it, gets serious but it's about me it gets significant. But. When I can flip this and. Instead. Be. In a place of service. Everything. Changes I. Cease. To exist. And. A, very Sri Sri of me. Ego. Versus service and this is something that I literally go back to all the time when I was creating playful prosperity, I remember there was one day, it. Was a filming day and there was you were filming there was like eight or nine hours of content that we were filming and I. Was so, in my head I was so, in a place of ego I was, so like I don't think this is good enough what, if the cut has not powerful enough what, if people don't sign up what, if this is a massive failure what if I'm spending all this time effort and money and energy creating, something that nobody gives a about like, I was totally spiraling, and. So. I took this big piece of flipchart paper and I, put it up on the wall behind where, the camera was and I wrote on it in huge letters ego. Versus, service, and then. I wrote a big old arrow and circled. Service and wrote stay, the. Here. And. As. Soon as I really keyed into that and said wait a second this, isn't about me this isn't about being perfect this isn't about being polished, it's, about being helpful. Nobody. Cares if you're perfect, nobody cares if you're polished. People. Are dying to have some, level. Of improvement. In their lives and if. You're anywhere, on the journey that's even one step ahead of where they are you, have so much to offer. If. You truly want to be of service to people in the world you're actually doing a disk, this to those people but. Not sharing, what it is you know like. Literally. You're doing the opposite of what you say you want to do I get. It like I do the same thing I still do it I still have to make sure I'm remembering that I'm in a place of service ego. Also comes up in selling. It, comes up in marketing anytime it's about me and how do I close, the sale how do I close the deal how do I get this person to give me money it's. All about me what, happened to the service what. Happened to the co-creation what happens to my my goal here, of actually, serving people I. Have. A very simple business plan and business strategy that I'll share with you it's, people in the beginning again business, as usual you, have to have a business plan they. Always talk like that they always do this with their arms I don't know why they you're out of a job we gotta have a business plan but they need to clear their throat or so I don't know what it is and that's. Business as usual so I said okay I'll create a business plan in the business strategy here's, mine. My business plan is to leave everybody I meet with at least 5% more joy than I found them, that's. My business plan and my, business strategy is to really give. A about the work I do and the people I do it with. Is. It. Done. Pity. Applause because one person clapped is my favorite kind of clapping so. But. But it really can be that simple like service, mastery, and integrity like what if that's all it took to run a business and playfulness, let's not forget playfulness service. Mastery. And integrity. What. If that's all it took, and. We could play with all this stuff but. Staying in a place of service asking, myself self every day who can I serve. And. When I feel any kind of stress or tension around putting myself out there it's, a reminder for me to slow down and say am i coming from ego or, am i coming from service and. 99. Times no a hundred, times out of 100 I'm, coming. From ego and. It's an easy shift something. Else here on the, slide you. Guys, you're. On it dude I love you not. In a weird way just. I want, to take you out to dinner it's not weird is it we're. All friends. Is is. This whole perfect pitch thing. That's. Also really rooted in scarcity, so, I remember. The first time I came to a fest which, was Costa Rica 2015, anybody. Here, and are there in 2015 in Costa Rica, yes. A few people yeah if you work for my Valley doesn't exactly count the same but I'll give it to you anybody who didn't work for them it doesn't work for mine Valley that was in Costa Rica ok never mind the people that work for my Valley my favorite are we got one back there sweet ok so, so, that was awesome and it.

Was One of the most stressful experiences, of my life because. You walk in to an environment like this less. People 400, 350 400 people and there's. This belief that you need to connect with everybody, like. You need to find or you need to find the highest value, targets, or you. Do the thing that I know nobody. In this room would ever do is how, do I get an hour with vision. Thank. You honest people and I. Was doing the same thing right it's like how do you how do you get this time with these people and what. It did was it put me in this energetic funk, of scarcity. Of trying. To find the perfect thing to say at the perfect moment this applies to dating, this applies to sales, this applies to business this applies to friendships it applies to everything in my world and. That. Experience was extremely stressful. Fast. Forward to my next experience, of a Fest which was in Mexico, in. 2016. Anybody in Mexico in 2016. Get. You know people that were anybody who wasn't there in 2016, can you just woo anyways. Sweet. I'm, gonna start doing the flip negative side that works. Totally. Different experience because I went in with this different mentality that I want to offer you I. Would. Go into every event. I would go up to every person that I met every person that I wanted to meet every person I didn't know that I wanted to meet and, I. Had this mindset of I'm, going to see this person every day. For. 10 minutes for, the next six months. So. If I know I'm gonna see them every day for, 10 minutes for the next six months I don't, need to rush the. Relationship, in this. Five or ten minutes I'm with them I. Used. To think I hated it selling, and then, I really realized, hated rushing relationships. That's. Rushing, with not Russian relationships, I know we're very close I don't, want, to rush, in relationships, are great I love them. We. Get a whoo four Russian relationships, I love that I. Hated. Rushing, relationships, so notice there is no perfect pitch I wrote about this in the book as well there was a guy that invited me onto this podcast and one of his like closing rapid-fire, questions was alright, man it's it's time for the closing wrap and right he didn't sound like this at all but it's good for the story it's. Time for the closing wrap and round of questions and to my question Hugh is give us your five second, elevator pitch. Thank. God it wasn't video I rolled my eyes so, hard like, I could see into my skull I was just like a. So. It's ok if I had five seconds I'd say hi. My name is Jason what's going on in your world you. Never. Invited me back on to the podcast. But. That's where you get again into a place of service into a place of creativity into a place of abundance not. In this place of scarcity where I need to sell myself I need to prove something to you in five seconds why don't we just slow down and try to connect with people and be more interested, than we are interesting, yes, yes. Okay. Beautiful, you. Guys getting those questions ready we're getting close to coaching time. To. Woo's. Okay. So. The, last one here is sustainable. Impact, and income okay, sustainable. Impact and income I actually. Know what I'm gonna go back for a second is there something else I want to share with you guys that I wasn't going to share but I really want, to now, okay cool and I get to do this like Jason said it's my stage I do what the hell I want. It. Lifts into a rap song that I came up that's not people, do that. I do. So. One note about resistance. Because. We did have a few people few brave honest, souls who admitted they have experienced, resistance before and felt. Like there was something they wanted to create and they just didn't put it out there in the world show of hands again for anybody who's ever felt resistance, around putting themselves out in the world ah yes we're gonna be more honest I love this the coffee is kicking in or the alkalis or whatever else the hell you guys are IV. Into yourselves here at my value. Resistance. Is a beautiful, thing. Because. Resistance, and. Self. Sabotage who here has ever self sabotage. This. Is my favorite thing in the world, yeah. I, was, on this diet I was doing so good but then I self-sabotage. I had a cookie. Guess. I'm screwed now. Or. Yeah. You know I know I need to be you know I was doing consistent, stuff online I was posting every day and then just I stopped, like I just gave up I just I always sabotage, myself. First. Of all it's just so shitty to do that to ourselves like, I'm sure you guys have heard this quote before if beating yourself up was gonna work it would have worked by now oh. You. Haven't heard that nevermind that's mine. Screw. That that's what I want to be known for that now I'm kidding okay. So. Resistance. And self-sabotage, is actually really interesting, because a lot of people will say and I'm curious to hear from you guys honestly.

Who. Here thinks that they would be more successful if they, were more committed raise, your hand if they had a higher level of commitment yeah, totally. I've, totally, felt that before like it's just it's I'm just not that committed of a person right historically. I just haven't really committed, so, much right like I was almost committed once but, not in that way like I'm just not a committed person and so a lot of people think I need more dedication I need a better work ethic that's, another thing people say like if I just had a better work ethic like all that stuff is just so heavy. And it's like work, ethic, like. Now it's a moral, thing whether I do, like this is I don't want to be judging, myself morally. Because I didn't post on Facebook today this is horseshit. So. What I finally realized was that self sabotage. Resistance. All. Of these things that we think are a sign that we're not committed enough actually, is a sign that we are. Super. Committed. Right. We are ridiculously. Committed you. Say how in the hell is that possible I'll tell you it's. Something called competing. Commitments. Competing. Commitments is something that when I learned about it and started. Practicing in my life and noticing, and priming myself to see it which is what I hope that you guys will do once you hear about this, it. Can be so freeing just to just to notice it just to see it. What. A competing commitment, is is that. You are essentially as it, says. Committed. To two things that compete with each other. So. For example with. The self-sabotage. Around. Dieting. You might. Say I'm, committed. To, living a healthy lifestyle, right. You say I'm committed I'm committed but then I self-sabotage, no no no it's. Actually proof you, self sabotaging is proof of just how committed you are because. At the same time you. May be committed, to not be, a a prisoner, to not be a slave to, a workout and eating regimen that you think is gonna be too hard to follow. Right. You're committed to two things at the same time I'm committed to eating healthy and I'm, committed to not having my life taken over by a healthy diet. Whichever. Of those commitments is stronger is the one that wins, you're. Not not committed, you're. Just committed to the thing that doesn't serve you instead of committed to the thing that does serve you. This. May seem super, simple but it's really really powerful think, about this I'm committed. To putting myself out there in the world and launching, my website for my coaching services, but. I don't do it I'm. Just not committed enough i self-sabotage. I have resistance, now, you don't, you're. Committed to not. Being rejected. You're. Committed to not feeling. Like nobody's come to your website you're committed to not feeling like a failure or a fraud. That's. Great like if you really believe that putting your website out has the potential to make you feel rejected or feel like a fraud or be alone it's. In your best interest to not launch a website. But. It's just not true. So. The way that I've started reframing, this and it's an exercise I do a playful prosperity we want to to dive, into it but I want at least give you the bones of it and. I, can share it with you guys - maybe I'll post something in the in the group like a worksheet or something so you can do this on your own because it does take a little bit of time and I want you to sit with it is, to. Recognize that the. Competing commitment, the thing that you're that you're hoping will not happen. Doing. That thing actually supports, what you want sound, the total gobbledygook when I explain it that way but I'll tell you what I mean. It's. Very possible it's just as true if not more true, that. Putting yourself out there in the world and sharing your website and sharing your message and actually, launching, whatever it is you want to launch could. Actually support, you and feeling, the way you want to feel as opposed to put. You at risk of feeling what you don't want to feel so if you feel like putting yourself out there could make you feel potentially. Rejected, or or alone. Then. If you look at this you could actually find, evidence, you could find real tangible. Reasons, that. Launching, yourself into the world is what will make you feel accepted, that. Will make you feel like you are inclusive, that will make you feel like you are completely. On track with what you're doing and people. Would say well that doesn't make sense that's just like flipping it around well not exactly because, if you put it out there and one, person, resonates with what you you've shared you've, now proven to yourself that you're not being rejected you're being accepted, by, a smaller group of people but.

We Need to find evidence that talks to the contrary, of what we believe or will stay in this place of resistance. So. We need to get really clear what are the competing commitments an easy way to find where you're competing commitment, is ask yourself and this question will totally, with your brain like, it says like this will short-circuit your brain, think. About the thing that you want to create, healthy. Body strong, relationships, profitable. Business whatever it is and ask. Yourself what. Is the worst part about being. Successful, at, that. What. Is the worst part of being successful at. That. And. When I ask clients that they go okay, so the. Best part of being successful that no no no no wait slow down not. The best part we know the best part that's easy what's. The worst part what's the bad part what's. The thing you fear would happen if you are successful. That's. Where the real competing, commitment comes out that's, the only thing that's actually holding you back. I've. Had people before that say like I'm afraid to sell I'm afraid to be on the phone I'm afraid, to propose my coaching services and when we get down to it we find out. They're. Afraid that if somebody says yes they. Won't be good enough to serve them to the extent of which they're paying money for coaching. So. The worst part of them getting a yes from, a prospect on the phone is that. They may fail them once they actually start coaching them for money, isn't. That screwed, up like I mean like if you really believe that you, won't do anything in the world so, it's so fun to go back again to this question that I keep going back to is how, can i play with this. Mastery. It's. Really how can i play with this so competing commitments again I had to go through that kind of fast I'll post something in the group so you guys can do more with that and of course I'll be here the entire month so you can ask me more questions about that if you want to ok. So last one sustainable, impact and income this shows up as oh crap this is serious I only have one chance to really nail this if I'm, gonna build a sustainable business that I love with lots of impact and income anybody. Ever felt this I only have one chance of whatever I put out better pretty good this better be the post that's, gonna get people to like my page this better be the post that's gonna get people to pay me money for my services, this better be the one. Anybody. Felt this come on honest yeah. I, have. Never felt this. Away. That was this morning no yeah it happened this morning sorry. Yeah. This is a big one and so the. Thing that I want to share with you here. Is. That. I read. About this concept in Prison Break I have this chapter in Prison Break called it's not your only line in the play and. The. Analogy there is imagine, that you are off on the side of a stage of a huge Broadway, production you're. About to make your entrance on stage and you. Have one line a. Pivotal. Line. The. Degree to which you nail this line will. Make or break the. Entire, production everybody. Is counting on you. To crush, this, line. How. Do you feel off on the side of the stage do, you feel expansive. And abundant, and. Want. To twirl, because. You love your life in your business so much oh my god I hear clicking they just got that on camera. Do. You feel that way or do you think you feel stressed. Heavy. Small. Yeah what does that feel like. Terrified. Scared. Feces. For. Sure there's the bat if you go down stairs and then there's a big flick toilet area it's fine. So. What, if instead you're. Waiting off on the side of the stage and, instead of having one line in the play you literally, have dialogue, on every, single. Page of this, production. You. Go up on stage maybe, you flub a line in it maybe, you literally like really screw up a line like. Maybe instead of Shakespeare, you say steak and shake like I don't know you just you screw something up right but. Here's the great part three. Seconds later you have another line and, three. Seconds after that another line and you'll do this show five, times a day, seven. Days a week for six weeks it doesn't matter if you flub the one line because it's not your only line in the play and.

The. Same is true here energetically. When we really get that it's not our only line in the play we, can create from a place of service and playfulness. A place. Of sincerity, a place of creativity a place, where at a high level of consciousness, where we can think of amazing, creative things to share because we're not in this place of scarcity that one thing has to be the thing that, changes. Our life our business I. Like. To tell people sometimes when they're really scared about putting themselves out especially online sharing content, or doing, a Facebook live or whatever I. Say. I use this thing called a prison break question, right so this actually didn't even make it in the book I should probably add this to the book a pbq. And what, a PB q does. P. B. Q, a peanutbutter, question I'm getting a prison break uestion. Prison. Break question is essentially a question that you create for yourself that. Makes something that feels like a problem. No longer problematic. It. Doesn't solve the problem it makes, the problem no longer problematic. And, the. Format for a prison-break question, is essentially if I, knew, what. Would I do, if. I knew what would I do, so. For example if you're really scared about putting yourself out there in the world sharing your message if you're scared about going to talk to a girl or a guy at, a bar if you're, whatever you're afraid of doing the. Very first prison my question I ever created before I knew what I was doing it just something I did for myself because I was feeling really just, I was feeling fearful and anxious about putting myself out there with a new project that I was doing and. I came up with this question and the question was if I. Knew I was. Unconditionally. Loved, supported. And accepted. How. Would I show up differently in this moment. Doesn't. Solve the problem of putting. Myself out there in the world it. Makes the problem of putting myself out there in the world no, longer problematic. Because. I really, know in that moment if I really feel that I am unconditionally. Loved supported, and accepted in that moment my, entire energy, changes I get. Back into a place of service I get it back into a place of creativity. Does. That resonate yes or yes. That's. My favorite pbq, and there there are tons. Of pbq if there's as many people used as there are people times, infinity you can make them all up right it's all this if I knew what would I do kind of thing but, there's a great pbq for this as well with with thinking at your only line in the play if. I. Knew I was. Going to create. 1,000. Things over. The course of my life. How. Would I show up differently in creating, this thing that's in front of me. Do. You see how it takes the pressure off if you know you're creating a thousand, things over the course of your life or your business and this. Is just number one, might. Be stressed, you got 999. More to go and. Sometimes. I'll take it even further and I say if I knew that. I was gonna create a thousand, pieces of content over, the course of my life and the. First 10 had to suck before. I was legally allowed to be awesome. How. Would I show up to this first piece of content. And. Then. Kind of Auto magically. You. Break, the law and you're awesome from the beginning. Because. Energetically, you're just there to serve you're there to create you're there to have fun. So. There's, one other thing here that I want to share with the sustainable, part of a business. There's. A buddy of mine a guy named Jonathan Kaiser he wrote a book called disruptive. Awesome awesome book I don't know if it's still available it's kind of a limited production thing but you may be able to find it so look it up great book disruptive, Jonathan Kaiser and he.

Interviewed A guy in the book who was the number one insurance salesman in all of Arizona and, he. Asked this guy how. Did you become the. Best insurance, salesman, in all, of Arizona. And. The guy's response, was I was. Never the best I. Just. Stuck a lot stuck around long enough for everybody else to quit. And. When I heard that I was like, that's. Good. Consistency. Right, showing. Up in playful, prosperity we have so, many hashtags, it's, almost hard to catch up with hashtag. That we have there is hashtag jft, just for today. People. Ask me how did I lose 130, pounds I didn't I lost one pound 130. Times. Just. For today. So. I used to be a rapper as some, of you may know and I did the little lip sync thing which is fun thanks for indulging me and there. Is another rapper, who. You may know who, remembers, or who knows the. Song that I was lip-syncing to when I came up who sings that song. There. Are four Drake fans in this room. Make. Some noise if you know who Drake is okay. Just. Embarrassed. To admit that you know Drake song I get it it's fine. So. I, rapped. For, all these years open for

2019-03-09 04:58

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