How Getting Vulnerable Grows Your Business + How to FIND Your Tribe

Hi. Everyone welcome, to the Hallie hustle, podcast, I'm, mark and I'm Tanya and we invite you to join us in our unfiltered, conversation, about the real life hustle of being an entrepreneur for, more information, about the podcast check out how we have the podcast, com make sure to check us out on Instagram, and how we hustle, podcast, you'll, find information on new episodes as, well as notable quotes from the episodes we do so, come check us out at how we hustle podcast on Instagram, yesterday. I invited. You mic to my, Facebook. Ads training. For my leap into lady printer ship ladies and, I. Wanted. To talk to you about, the. Fact that like you, don't. Necessarily have, a community, like the, leap program where. It's. Lady. Pruners that. Are getting vulnerable, and learning, and sharing and growing together and it. Made me think about how you. Don't necessarily have. A, male. Entrepreneurial. Group, of, people. Where you can be vulnerable so, it's really nice that the lady is like you. Know they. Opened. Up with you and you guys had a really fun banter back and forth and they really welcomed you in which I thought was incredible, but, it really made, me realize that it's. Really powerful, to have that and. What. Is it like that you don't have that okay so you have this group of. Your. Clients, I guess right, mm-hmm. And you you meet up with them on a group call or it's, actually an online call. Regularly. And you guys all get together and chat in our community, and you were nice enough to and it's all women right so I am not, included. In this group because, I am NOT a woman so, yesterday, you were nice, enough to invite me, on that call. So. But, one, question I have before we keep going is why is it what are the reasons, why. You. Do. Not not. Necessarily mean, particularly but what are the reasons why you keep, that call I mean. I know you only work with women but like you you told me when we were off the air a little bit why. Your. Reluctant, to let me come to. Those, meetings. Regularly. Even though it, went really well yesterday and we had a good little banter. Going why. Is it still that you're reluctant to let me come, mm-hmm. I think. That it is mostly. About in. The group the ladies share, vulnerably. Both on our group calls on our trainings, but also in the, private Facebook group I, have. Been, very. Cognizant. To create. A community and a space for people to share. The. Good and the bad like to, share their their fears to share, how they're truly, feeling, on, video. And. Regularly. So. Regularly. There will be videos, in there of ladies who are crying about something that's happened, or something, they're feeling, and I. Really, love. That it's a space, where it's. Safe and. It's. Normal. To show the. Deeper emotions, that we typically, in normal society would. Be shutting, down or keeping to ourselves or. Not sharing. In a public, way in a public space how. We're really feeling because I think that we are. Conditioned. To. Portray. Something to the outside, that everything. Is great everything is fine and, like everything. Is going so well and, I'm always so confident. We're. On the inside we maybe don't feel that way all the time and when. They are. Open. To sharing some, of their fears, and their struggles, and their disappointments. On video. In, the group the. Group is there to support them help them move beyond whatever is coming up for them and to. Push them and to be, a mirror, to show them. How. It appears, or what they see that. Maybe the person doesn't see in themselves like sometimes we don't feel confident, all the time or we, don't think something, was really good and we need other people, to reflect, back what they see so. That we can see it from a different perspective so basically the, reason I have. Been very protective. The community, itself is because I don't want to change the dynamic, of people. Feeling open. To. Sharing vulnerably, and, sometimes. I think women feel more. Comfortable, sharing, with. Other women. Maybe. That's a limiting. Belief that I have but I just. Have always wanted to create. That like women's, empowerment, women. Power, women's. Support, system, in, an emotional. And vulnerable way, that. Sometimes I, don't, know if that's I'm. Sure it's possible. But. I've, just been protective, of it so far if I was choosing I wanted, to have the power of the woman you know feminine rising. But. Yesterday, I realized like, you are such.

A Great fit with all of them and they had such a good time with you yeah. So. Why what you what you're trying to say is you want to keep that to be a safe space so that the people in that space, can really get the most out of it and. But. And I get, that what, I did get out of that. That. Interaction. Yesterday, there's. A lot of times I work with you one-on-one and. It's. Overwhelming, for, me in one sense because I, see, you as the expert so, you like know how to do everything and. I. I feel. A, little, behind, what I do when I work with you was I'm like I don't like I'm not I'm not up to speed with all these things but. Then when I when. I interact like. Yesterday, with your, other clients. I realized. That I am not the only one who. Was going through these same struggles, all of your clients have. The same struggles, and that. Gives. Me confidence. To. Know that like, I'm not there's. Nothing wrong with me it's just part of the struggle and everyone, who's going through this struggle is dealing with the same struggle, mm-hmm. And that's exactly why, I have a group to begin with and that's always why I feel like a little bit bad that you don't have that because you don't have like, for you it probably I'm, assuming, from what you just said that, you, just you, feel more, alone. In the struggle and that you. Don't know what's normal, what's not normal to feel and if, you were in the community, you. Would realize that like every, single one of my clients goes through these same struggles, and same, feelings, and so. The point of this is not for me to try and convince you let me and that's not the point the. Point is, for us to, highlight. How. Important, it is like, if you're an entrepreneur but, also not just an entrepreneurship, also, other things like, I do have, support networks, that I have sought out in other aspects, of my life that. I lean, on that have really helped me move. From where I was to where I want to be, and. But. I don't really, have that right now in, my entrepreneurial. Endeavors, and I, guess working, with that community, yesterday has, opened, my eyes and, that's somewhat, what's spawned, this conversation, that we're having now but. It did open my eyes to the value. That. There is so. You. Know, it's. When, you it's it's easy to when, you're when you're doing a you, know business or anything to, look to the experts, to. Get mentorship. And, coaching and. And guidance, but. I guess there's so much value to be had in a while as well and also interacting. With people who are I, don't. Say on your level because that maybe it's not the right way to say it but yeah on your level or at the same place you are or the same, in. The same place in the journey because. Even. Though you, might not regard, them as like, your expert, or your coach or your mentor, you, can still get a lot of motivation, out of someone. Who. Is where, you are you, don't have to look to someone who's ahead of you if you look to someone who's next to you like, you guys can like. Support. Each other and help each other and just. Remind, each other that. It's. It's fine and, it's. It's easy you like to say that but once, you actually get that kind of support. It's, really is really powerful and, really healthy yeah. I think that that's actually what made me want to create, a group on in. The first was because I was working with my coach one-to-one, and I. Saw, the power of her group and, how. Community. And support. Is. So. Powerful. To keep you going to keep you motivated, every. Day like I don't have to be the only person, that's keeping, or helping people like they're getting help from each other you can also like get support, and feedback from. Each other right like the ladies were giving you feedback on your video yesterday, and, that. Helps, to not just hear it from me but to hear it from. Your peers as well and so, I think that that's also helpful but also in my group I think it's cool to see, like because, people have all started at different points, in different. Times with me that when people come into the group they, can see people who have been in the group a little bit longer and how, they've progressed, and especially when they come back and say like. I was you two months ago all, right so know that in two months from now you'll be in my position, right. So it's kind of cool to see that like.

People. Have been in your shoes and, there's a lot of people that are feeling like, they're in your shoes now and people that have been there before and then, being, a part of a community where, you, guys are all going in the same direction so, certainly. Things for me to think about because. I do kind, of I saw, yesterday that the dynamic, was actually a lot, of fun and it didn't change anything I'd, be interested to, see. Like would. You be comfortable sharing. Vulnerably. In a, space like that like because. Something. I mentioned a lot to my clients is that people. Cry on calls with me very. Regularly. So. It doesn't it doesn't faze. Me if, someone's crying because I it's something that happens a lot but. I think that when you're on a one-to-one, call with someone it's. Easier, for them to dig. Deep and feel open to crying, whereas. On a group call some. People, don't. Want to cry in front of others and I, mean we've created a space where it's safe to do that like would you feel comfortable, sharing. Vulnerably. In a group call. With women. That's. Actually an interesting question and. You. Know you're asking me that question so. The answer I give you really just applies to me I, think that I would feel comfortable and. That's. Somewhat. Of a testament, to, the. Progress, that I've made in my own life in the last year or so where. I've really gotten, comfortable. Expressing. My, vulnerability and. Because. I've like, generally, I'm really bad at that and if we if you go back six months on this podcast, there. Are times where you've called me out for. Really. Not. Being vulnerable and that's not to say that I'm like there yet I think I still have a long way to go in terms, of, being. Vulnerable. But. Like this podcast, the. Videos that I'm, doing a even said yesterday on the on the on a group call like we were talking about Facebook, videos and, just generally getting visible, through video, and. I've, done a lot of you know a bunch, of videos but. I said to all the people on that call that just. So you know when, you see me do a video deep. Down inside I'm. Like shaking. Because, I still I'm not comfortable with it I do, it anyway but. I'm not necessarily comfortable. With it. But. I'm sort, of at the point and. That's, because, of a lot of the the work, I've been doing on, myself. And, the experiences, I've had and, just the progress I've decided I want to make in my life but. I just had the point where I'm I just, don't, care.

Like You. Know what. You say is. You. Know if. You can help one person is it okay to be judged by ten people so, I'm just sort of at the point where I don't, really care. About. People, judging me because, realistically I'm pretty sure people don't judge me, like. No and no one's gonna watch something. I do or, something you do and be like wow. She sucks, she's terrible, like I hate her like I, mean. They might but then they are not my dream client and they just should stop watching like, nobody's forcing you to watch this yeah. But I think that when like we have those like you know if I put a video there, I think to myself Oh someone's gonna watch this and they're gonna make fun of me and they're gonna hate me like. Who, cares you know obviously like the, world is like seven billion people in the world I. I. Don't I, just be on the point of caring and I cared for a way too long, there's. Just really no point because, we. Live in an online world now and. You. Know I just hang out with my tribe whether, it's like in person or online I don't, really have, any I don't. Have any time for people. That. Are gonna judge me so I'm, certainly, not going to, dictate. My actions. With. A consideration. For. The people that I'm, worried, about that. Are gonna judge me. So. To, answer your original question would, I feel comfortable being vulnerable and, really. Exposing, myself the answer is yes but. That's because, over. The last year, and as I said this podcast, really has. Come a long way in making. Me more comfortable being vulnerable. And. Even, like the last episode, that we did it. Was. Probably one of my most vulnerable. Like, I I kind. Of admitted. Things or didn't, admit but like I put things out there into the world that for a long time I. Kept. Really close, and hidden. So. Yeah I'm much more comfortable being vulnerable than I was six months ago and a year ago and, that. Is. Also. A product of the. Work. I've been doing outside. Of entrepreneurship. Like I do have a group, like. A community, that I meet, with pretty regularly, that, allows me to be vulnerable it's, a group with men and women in it and I. There have been tying there's times where I go to those meetings, and I'm pretty closed off but. There's other times where I go and, I I kind. Of just let my emotions, out and. Yeah. I'm like really exposed, and it's. Like when you expose yourself in in a very vulnerable way like. People. Embrace, you, after the fact in like the most genuine, authentic way and. That. The, type of human, connection, is probably.

Like, The best, drug there, is in, the. World do you know it's like acceptance, like it's like I just shared vulnerably, like the most deep dark parts of myself and like people accepted, me anyways, yeah so like when you open yourself up to being accepted and then you get accepted there's. Really nothing, better than that you know so. So. Once again back to the original question would. I feel comfortable being vulnerable the. Answer is yes because I really, and the, getting something out, of. Putting. Myself in. A position to be accepted. In. The last episode we talked a lot about like shame and, like leaving shame behind and. I have let shame, or the fear of shame really. Dictate, a lot of my actions, for a long time. So. I, I. Really. Appreciate, acceptance, and in the different forms that it comes in and. The. The more I get it the more I leave myself open to get it more and. That's not really an ego thing that's, just. You. Know it's it's just it's just being accepted, and getting courage I think I I think that's separate than ego. And. I think that it's also about, you were mentioning earlier that that. It's. Also about when, you see someone, else share, vulnerably, it gives you permission. To. Share vulnerably, and it also makes you feel more connected to those people like. If, you see yourself in their story or you. See. How, difficult that was for someone else to share something that's like. Deeply. Impacting. Them and hurting, them or emotional, for them. You. You. Are instantly, feeling, more connected, because, they did something scary, you see that you're you see they're yourself, in them and you. Want to connect with them like, when people open themselves up, more and as. My, therapist, would have said they let you into their circle like they let you into their inner workings. Their, inner thoughts they let you in tell you something they trust you in some, way it. Actually. Deepens, your connection, to them yeah. So, yeah you can like be part of a community and just. Benefit. From other people's vulnerability. And. I certainly know I have like you know yeah that's like even yesterday when other people were talking about their struggles, I wasn't. Saying anything but. I was getting. A lot out of that and, not. Because I wanted, not because I was taking pleasure in other people's struggles. But. Because I was putting. My own story, in their stories, and it was making it was it. Was making me feel accepted. When. Maybe before, I felt. Let's. Call it shame and that's one way to say it like I feel, shame because I'm not like getting this or you. Know like, let's say yeah I like people feel like they can't ask questions or like they're stupid or like yeah, I. Feel stupid, so I feel ashamed of being stupid, but. Then if you feel if someone. Else especially someone, else that you respect, and someone. Else that you're like wow they're like they're great in, whatever way they. Have that same challenge or roadblock, then. You're, like women maybe I'm not stupid, because that person is definitely not stupid maybe, I'm just, getting. There yeah, mm-hmm. Yeah, and like I think that part, of a techie aspects. That I am, really great at now like, I wasn't. One year ago like, last year at this time I didn't know half, of this stuff almost any of this stuff so. I learned. Over a year but I'm just a year ahead of you guys in terms of learning so, it seems like I might be super far ahead but really I'm just a year, of learning ahead of you so. Back. To our sort, of original theme, which. Is it's. Really, really, valuable, to. Seek out a community. And, not like we're not talking, like a Facebook, group with a thousand, people in it we're, talking like a small intimate, group of, people that you can really lean, on and, benefit. From and, you. Know it comes and comes in different forms. It. Could be in person. Yeah, it could be in person but I also think that you need to make sure that the community you choose the small intimate community you choose that, you're not just a Wallflower, yes. You'll get a lot from listening to others but, you will also get, a whole, lot more and build deeper. Connections, by sharing, by engaging by, being engaged and, supporting, and supportive. To others, so. Like that is is, a really good investment in, in all, aspects. Of your own development, including, business. Because. We're all going through, different. Things but we're all going through the same things as entrepreneurs. Trying. To you know move, forward and, whatever, and doesn't matter where you are, there's. Always like, a group. Of a community. That you can tap into that. You. Know is, aligned with where you are and what you're doing and where you want to go and, it's. This they're out there right like those, people are out there so really. Try and tap in to at least one that.

You Can you know interact, with regularly and, share, probably. Share, vulnerably yeah take, the mask off, that. They're like being able to take the. Mask off or or as many masks as possible, for me has. Been, life-changing. Just. In the way that I. See. Myself and, now I let other people see me and just, putting. Myself out there and attracting. What. I want to attract. Like. All of the clients, that I've got and recently all the people that I have come to me, have. Been just. A product of me getting visible, and I, wasn't, really. Keen. On getting visible, before I was I wanted to keep the walls up but I'm like I want people to climb the walls and get to me but. You got to get, the walls down because that's the best way to attract people to you mm-hmm. Whether. Or not I don't even know where I learned that I don't know one, of my catchphrase is get visible and get vulnerable, with video. Quit. Hiding behind your computer screen get, visible, get vulnerable, with video, I got. A training for that if you need shameless, plug. We'll. Leave that link in the show, notes, of this podcast, and. Also really, try and like find a community that, is going to be like there for you and you're going to be there for them because that is really an asset. In, every. Aspect of your growth that, you, know will you'll see the benefits of it mm-hmm. And it will help you do. Scary, things like I think part of it is that people are terrified to do things and then, having a community, behind them, to. One to be accountable, and to push you to do those scary things to support you through the feelings that you experience, well doing them and after, doing them and. To. Continue, to grow like to see that there are ways. Of moving beyond, these struggles to be supported, during them to, go. And try things and that, not that have it not worked out and then get back up again like, it's harder, to do everything on your own and one, of my things from the last episode was not trying to do everything on your own like a certain. Bit, of dependence, is necessary, like we are human, beings but like we're animals, that cannot survive on our own we. Were not we're, not animals that can survive by. Doing everything on our own so why do we keep trying it's. Like some sort of badge of honor so. Find, a tribe find, a community a small, tight-knit community, where you can share. Vulnerably, where you can be, pushed, to. Your edge to, do things that scare you to. Be supported. And to. Take off your masks. Of, like. What. Are you really experiencing. Feeling, being feeling called to do and actually.

Going After those and. That's a wrap on another episode of how we hustle, for, more information, check out how we hustle podcast calm.

2018-01-15 13:25

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