Flying Still SUCKS - Weekly Weird News

Hey guys time for weekly weird news so airline, travel has long been the mockery, of anyone, who is had, the displeasure of stepping, foot on a plane simply because it's one of the most frustrating things that people can do for travel, despite, the fact that you do get to go anywhere in the world in a matter of hours yeah there are so many things that can go wrong from the minute you start packing and finally, stepping foot outside the airport at your desired location but recently, there have been a string of absurd, events that have taken things far, past the typical complaints of airline, food lack of seating space and outrageous, feet we all remember the stories, from last year about passengers, being mistreated like the guy who was bloodied, up and then dragged off of a united flight yeah or, the woman who despite, safety regulations, was forced to sit with her three-year-old on her lap for a multi hour flight even though she'd bought additional seat they got soft boats their. Results of the incident where a flight attendant fought with a woman over a spoiler that she'd brought on board there, were numerous, computer, outages that caused canceled, or massively, delayed flights and even the massive power outage that essentially, shut down one of the biggest airports, in the country for, an entire day don't. You just love traveling it's fun but it doesn't stop there in recent days NYC's, JFK, Airport was first hindered by a massive, winter storm which caused delays and cancellations, only, have a water main break during, the aftermath which caused one of their major terminals, to become flooded with water further, adding, to the delays and cancellations, and stranding. Passengers, at the airport if they couldn't find her a for a place to stay in expensive. New York until things got sorted out but there's more than just delays. And bad weather going on in recent weeks there. Have also been some downright, insane, things happening on sometimes. The part of the passengers, most. Likely because of the result of air, travel just being so annoying and demoralizing, it makes us feel crazy it's true just, before the New Year Chrissy Teigen live tweeted an incident where her flight to Tokyo had, to make an abrupt turn around hours, into the flight after it was discovered that two. Brothers and her brothers had, both boarded the same flight even though they, had booked completely, different tickets on completely, different airlines oops now it wouldn't be hard to assume that these brothers they're just so close, with each other they probably just wanted, to be on the same plane, I mean we're going to the same place what's the big deal let's just go to the gate they'll probably you, know tell, us to move, along let's, you know what let's Rashad, yeah they, just want to be on the same plane and they probably wanted the added bonus of arriving, at the same time they, thought they could totally get away with it nobody got the shot at leas but, instead they were caught somehow, after a few hours in the sky and instead of just I don't know continuing, the flight since technically no one was at risk the plane went all the way back to LA resulting.

In What was probably the first ever eight hour non-stop, round-trip. Flight to and from Los, Angeles obviously. This should have been caught by the airline yeah, before definitely never left the ground where was he sitting I don't, know the whole thing is there's so many questions probably sitting in the bathroom yeah. I Tegan herself, even mentioned in one of her tweets. About this, she said they, keep saying the person had a United ticket we are on a na so, basically, the boarding pass scanner is just a be doop machine that makes beatab noises that register nowhere even. Weirder than that is the fact of the this incident and her, live tweeting of the whole thing somehow. Put, her in the crosshairs of an updated pizza gate conspiracy, theory that her and her husband had to spend time refuting, because it's ridiculous yeah so, not not exactly a fun holiday adventure, for though but. She got the live tweeting out of it so that's now. Earlier this week before a flight from Florida, to Michigan, America's dick to America's armpit that's true a. 58. Year old man apparently had a little too much to drink which you, know sometimes give flight anxiety, you got to loosen up a little bit calm down but he had too much and. He boarded a flight and of course had, to relieve himself probably, because he was full of booze it's. Natural, so, you know he made his way over to the bathroom on board and then just proceeded. To just piss all over the damn place soaking. The floor and the toilet with his urine and just, headed back to his seat as. You do when. He was asked to leave he began to yell at staff then, cursed, out a gate agent once he'd made it back into the terminal and then refused, to leave the property they. Apparently gave him numerous, chai leaving. I ain't. Leaving so many chances to not be a piece of and, just just leave buddy just leave they even booked him a second, flight a couple days later but, he wasn't having airline, says they seemed very accommodating. Yeah they was spirit yeah what hmm, out of the ordinary so the problem with spirit is not the Ellen it's the customer's always. The. Customer is always wrong it's be their motto it's not our fault you yeah. Anyways. Numerous, chances to leave but, then airport, police were called and he, reportedly, told them quote, go, ahead and put the bracelets on me I'm not leaving, well. He, didn't leave of, his own accord but he was cuffed. And then taken away and now he's banned from the airport, for, a year, and was, also charged with disorderly intoxication and. Trespassing, so, I'm. I, guess someone's gonna die on that hill and, he.

Did It and. He now he's the piss man. It's. Me piss pad piss pants Johnson well, don't, let me on your plane I'll piss everywhere hey can't. Control this trouser, snake mm-hmm, apparently. He just wreaked of alcohol but like kept demanding that they give him a breathalyzer test to prove that he wasn't drunk I just. Liked to douse myself. Yeah. Holidays. I know make threes, worse than people but if you thought pissing all over the place was bad buckle. Up buckaroo because, not one but two different incidents happened over this past week involving human, mmm, first, up a man flying from Chicago, to Hong Kong got, up from his seat mid-flight took, a and smeared, his feces all over multiple. Bathrooms not just one now he made. Sure that the whole cabin, smelled of his all right this one's dead let me Ross. Over the aisle into this other one yep still got the little bull poop left I'm an artist and then I took off his shirt tried, to stuff it down one of the toilets for some reason I don't know, but. Yeah that, happened probably smelled really bad too plain how to change cars and ended up landing in beautiful, Anchorage, Alaska, where, he was removed from the plane and, apparently. He was seated at. You know they figured, out they had him sit down so that. Probably sucked for whoever was even. Remotely near him even, after they were able to continue. On with their flight because Unitas they don't clean those planes who's ready to continue. On to Hong Kong uh, hey. There's still, everywhere, you should just assume at all times any surface, of an airplane filthy, someone pooped on mm-hmm, at least a babel change the kids diapers right, on those eating trays and they don't clean those, planes those planes never get clean they got to turn them around too quick yeah, they're working these people too hard the, other poop story we have we. Inexplicably. Have it I don't know why there's so many poop stories so recently but I here's, this one it comes from an American tourist visiting, Thailand who while, waiting at the airport for a flight to South Korea, apparently. Took way too much viagra, no. Idea why he would take any viagra while, waiting for a flight at the airport I guess he'd you gotta get a kill time somehow yeah wait I'm bored, pop a couple viagra's. A couple, boner pills make this flight interesting, and a couple it was because he claims that he overdosed, on it which then. I don't. Know if I fully erect I don't know what the chemical balance is in the brain with too much vigor but it caused him to strip, completely naked I'm a sex machine. Presumably. With a massive hard-on that would not go down big time and then, run around screaming nonsense, while throwing his own, at people in the airport one. Witness described it as quote the scariest, and most disgusting, thing I ever saw at an airport which begs the question. Have. They seen something, scarier and more disgusting outside of the airport because, they didn't say in my life they said at an airport yeah not, not in my life, got. A qualified, you wouldn't believe what I've seen outside these doors but in, here that's crazy, now once he sobered up from his viagra binge, he came to terms with what he'd done and then he offered to reimburse whatever, damage he caused although. It's I want to make this right it's, hard to put a price on the emotional, damage that he probably caused a lot of people, by. The way all three of those last stories involving poo or pee happened, on the exact, same day making. It easily the grossest, day in recent. A VA Shin history, almost. As bad as when they had to turn that plane around cuz the poo poo smell. Mm-hmm. Very, loosely, related news IKEA. Is apparently turning your piss into savings passing, it down to you because they recently released a magazine, advertisement.

That. Utilizes the same technology, behind you at home pregnancy test to allow the opportunity, for women who are pregnant to lock down a great price on a crib for their upcoming child by simply pissing all over that full-page magazine ad I. Wasn't reading it anyway. The rest of these articles I'm gonna piss in this magazine I mean I need to know what magazine this is who, says print media is dead can't. Piss on a computer, you'll break yeah. Now, once the woman pisses, on the ad or chooses, to cleanly, dispense it strategically, on the ad their. Urine should indicate, that they're indeed pregnant which allows, them to reveal. A special, code that, they can use on the crib you. Imagine being the. Woman and there's at least gonna be one of them who just as a joke this. Magazine oh god I'm, pregnant and, then for the rest of my life you find out carrying around the city how did you find out you're pregnant magazine. Magazine, yeah and IKEA told me I was pregnant like I could get a sweet deal on a crib that's why my kids names IKEA yeah mm-hmm. IKEA. Magazine. Smith. Obviously. Someone had to reach out and ask IKEA about this interesting. Marketing. And. When. Broadly, did this was the response. IKEA. Products, are inspired, by life itself and are all a big, part of the everyday life at home of course, everyday life can be Dylan tines but it also contains those magical, life-changing. Moment we want to be right there when they happen. And. Through. The where life happens campaign, we take that idea all the, way, what. Could be more true to this than the moment of creating life wait. They. Don't well how babies are made moment, of creating Len unless. They're like they're handing out like condoms with holes in them like a hey, crib. Discount trapping, yeah he's Gundams, these IKEA condoms they got holes in them have you bring it in that's our thing tie it off at the end with a little bit of just stuck in it give, you 10% off that baby crib you're looking for yeah, anyways. He's gonna have to marry you so want. To be there all the time all the time I kid buck. What hmm, our new beds can tell you're, okay. But in other bodily function, news a research, team in Australia has, now developed a pill that lets you track your fart development, in real time by measuring hydrogen. Carbon, dioxide, and oxygen gases, within your digestive, tract this, information, can be sent to the user via an app on their smartphone, which is cool. I guess according. To an article on CNET quote the pills consist of a gas permeable, membrane, gas, and temperature sensors a microcontroller, batteries, antennas, and a wireless transmitter and. Tiny school bus filled with children and, a crazy teacher who takes. Them on all sorts of adventures goodbye. You better hope nothing. Goes good, we're come up on the BIOS butthole, buttery. Buns are those parts. Anyways. I confuse, and says I can stay in the body for days working its way through the gastrointestinal tract. Come. On kids. We're gonna go Metro farts, or Davalloo. Miss. Bezel your, Wow weird miss, Frizzles kids parents, know what their kids were up to no I do, not want my kids swimming around in some strange man's butthole, Magic, School Bus, no, I'll pick my kids up yeah, yeah no, I don't. Let my kids take the bus I'll learn about the, birds. And the bees from me, yeah and their mom learn about my farts from me yeah. They. Already know about farts, my, dad. Taught them about far it's right that. Article continues that it in case of this fart pill has already been successfully, tested on humans saying quote, the, human trials involves seven people on low and high fiber diets, the capsule, was able to accurately detect, the onset of food fermentation, the team used ultrasound, to compare the location, of the capsule in the body with the changes, in the gas I mean.

It Seems like something you don't need to go inside someone's, body and test you just yeah. Well. Good but, yeah the tech will uh, certainly. Be useful to doctors and scientists, who. Are interested. In smelling people's butts without having to, know. About how he's made Elliot's it's like yeah either probably studying for like some new tums or something yeah. But, yeah I can't wait for it go on the market for all the rest of us who will, hold. Up that app and indicate that we've charged, up up big, old hot one, locked. And loaded in the chamber and we're, gonna go guys it. Could end up being a dangerous high-score, contest, one day as users. Adjust their diets, and hold in their farts as long as possible in an attempt to outdo, their friends which. We all know leads, to spontaneous, combustion yeah I learned it from watching TV mm-hmm, so much gas you're, you're basically a candle, yeah I don't like gas inside you but, now, that you're probably pretty grossed out let's talk about food and drink yeah you know specifically, the national food of Canada. Tim hortons no, other restaurant chain more perfectly represents, our neighbors up in the great white north better. Than Tim Hortons but lately the, relationship, between, Timmy. Horton and its. Customers, has been pretty. Tense and that's, because a bear apparently a bunch of Tim Hortons franchise, owners including, Tim Hortons own daughter and the son of the chains co-founder, are treating, their employees like, today right god we said again gosh. Ted. The. Tension is mostly centered in the province of Ontario, the, birthplace of the restaurant chain where a new law went into effect on January 1st raising the minimum wage from, 11.66. Per hour to 14 loonies, per hour and just. Like down here whatever a wage increase like this happens, it seems the, wealthy business owners of Canada are also total, dicks about it in this case using it as an excuse to cut back on benefits, incentives, and paid breaks resulting. In many employees making less take-home money than before and. Previously. Full-time employees having their hours cut to part-time, unlike, down here though Canadians are way less chill, about, one of the richest families in our entire country pretending, they can't afford to take care of their employees anymore and they are getting, uncharacteristically. Ornery. About it and. To be fair Canada's. Love of Tim Hortons it's been on the rocks for a while now mainly because of several cost-cutting, measures over the years that have result, resulted, in food and coffee that tastes, noticeably, worse than before they're not even baking those doughnuts on site and, yeah so this. Is really just the straw that broke the camel's back now there are protests. Planned outside of multiple Tim Hortons locations in Ontario believed to be screwing over employees. And there's even a push to completely boycott, Tim Hortons on Tuesdays, an, initiative, called no, Timmy's Tuesdays no it's Tuesday can't go down to Tim's can't do it oh we're all part of the protest you see go. To the Starbucks, or the McDonald's. Yeah. Apparently doing a lot better up there honestly, it's just heartwarming, to see our Canadian neighbors take into the streets to yell at the man over a pretty obvious example of corporate greed down, here our ability protesting. Anything effectively, has been pretty, terrible ever since J Edgar Hoover and the FBI infiltrated. All our major activist organizations, and destroyed them from within almost half a century ago that's true look it up I've, been Canada though they're getting out in the freezing cold they're chatting like hold, the sugar hold the cream Tim Hortons don't be mean nice. And it, polite yeah and at the very least the whole thing is apparently, making the corporate side of Tim Hortons uncomfortable. And they're having to come out publicly, distanced themselves from the specific franchises being targeted calling them rogue, franchise, you don't represent too important well that's what happens when you're the national. Brand and people have a direct. Connection to your food and drink growing, up from the day they were born until the day they die Tim Hortons is a Canadian, staple and you don't you. Don't get that way and then over the mess with tradition and good Canadian values yeah also apparently Tim Hortons is owned by a big Brazilian restaurant, yeah maybe it's time maybe it's time to set up a new to Morgan Dollars who's the hottest Canadian, hockey, player right now Sydney Crosby si American I don't even know they have that pizza chain Pizza Pizza, it's.

Like Little Caesars except is it just called pizza pizza that's, pretty big I think well. Someone. Up there may be a hockey, player maybe. A couple. Hockey players maybe the guy Letterkenny so let the letter King an Irish Brent Irish pub and grill yeah they need, a new restaurant cuz Tim Hortons has lost its way it, doesn't represent good old-fashioned, Canadian values no their food sucks the coffee tastes like dirt and. They're treating their employees like, it's time to rise up Canada we, want the rise up and fly like the Canada Goose. We. Need to get Tim, Hortons back the way it used to be God dang it mate Tim Hortons great again yeah, start. Brewing the, coffee and. Then start baking, the doughnuts on site don't. Get them shipped in. Anyway. We gotta get into headlines okay yeah we'd, love to talk about Canadian, fast food all. Day long, till. The Moose come home but we got to get into headlines starting. With white, noise video on YouTube hit by five copyright, complaints, it's, not a broken system guys everything, is perfectly fine it's all good we're paying attention and we're working on the problems, don't worry about it buddy. Yeah this also reminds me of the thing that happened like a month or two ago where the someone. Just set a camera on, the outside of their house just like filming, the, weather in. A rural part of the country and it was demonetised, within like an hour the. Great system guys everything's. No problem, they addressed it they were like oh they, addressed the Logan Paul thing and they were like shouldn't, happen gonna be better they address a whole, eight days later and on. That same day completely. Removed a parody, video that didn't involve an actual dead person but was just making fun of I'm sure whatever they got cooking up based on this video is. Gonna work perfectly, and won't have months. And months of repercussions, for every creator, thank. You free. Website Sean. Spicer says Oprah, Winfrey doesn't, have the political experience, to be President and he's, not wrong but it's also very ironic, yeah, that's the that's, why it's funny yeah because I Raonic yeah you understand. Because, you. Know she's about as qualified as. Other. People, who recently run for president successfully, yeah in politics, and you know it's but. She definitely shouldn't run yeah I got nothing against Oprah we end up boring, we don't need Oprah no politician.

Who Knows how to get some, dweeb yeah, who's good with numbers. Mm-hmm, and has. Been like working in the system but doesn't, love kids in. Local politics, I I don't know yeah, I don't know man. Or woman doesn't, matter I want boring, someone with the stubble you don't want to get a beer with yeah someone, that you know you don't have to read headlines about every day because they're just up there doing their job or yeah, that's. What we need right now Oh anyway make America boring again. Anyways. Orbiting. Chocolate, is yeah, spices. Favorite. He. Was ahead of the game I think maybe he called this dip and dodged ice cream lunches new cryogenics, company bury. Me in my dippin dots yeah, except, they're not apparently. They're not freezing bodies okay or, just heads not as cool as it sounds no they're they will if they're not getting in the living. Forever business through ice that has largely been disproven, yeah they're. Just kind. Of no-brainer they're, just using the same technology, that they used to make dippin dots like oh this has a lot of practical applications, in like for. Biologists. And scientists, instead, we. Inadvertently created, it uh one of the world's most effective, cryogenic. Systems yeah and all we wanted to do is make the ice cream of the future and. Now they're gonna make the tech of the future with cryogenic. Checkmate. Sean Spicer I mean yeah he's just proven wrong again very ironic, you know time will tell the tale. Moving. On a Massachusetts. Man profanely, to face his own barn to get back at a neighboring, pizza shop, Gate, to point out I don't know why is this profanely that's so the pizza. Written, the business next door promised, like a 14-foot. Wall and they built like a 12-foot, wall on this guy not, having it so. He wrote douchebag. Ha, ha, ha. Like. Wasn't that make people think he's a dude yeah it's like what it sound like profanity, I was like the pizza place but it's just a douchebag. He's. Like I'll take it down if they raise the. Douchebag. Oh my, god the Board says douchebag well, I'm not again we can't have Pizza Hut, and this family's come here oh my god mommy. What's a douchebag Oh douche, bags are hygienic, products I thank you for the compliment, uh. Inmate. Declared dead was just taking a nap, we've. All been there was a daring, escape if he would have just played along yeah killed him into the movie they. Were about to cut him open to propose ok so he, did kind of play along yeah was, sleeping you would have be able to died either way who, are these doctors, I don't know this is in Spain you would imagine that the the chest cavity would rise and fall with the breathing or that you would hear, them breathing or you know maybe just go like this in front of their mouths a fairly has some sort of condition hmm. All right look like we're. We're three doctors can look and say yep he's dead get ready to cut him open hold on wait this guy's dead are you sure it's not the guy that always looks dead though uh paperwork. Let's just go cut him open cut him open simply give Eve we caught him any screams, obviously. It's. You, shouldn't be doing it yeah so whatever. Florida. State senators admit bipartisan. Extramarital. Affair. So. It happens Capulets. And the Montagues mm-hmm. Opposites, aren't supposed to even talk to each other they weren't supposed to get along now. That do here they are and shaming, their families and it's all very sick yeah but amazing, viewpoints is my fetish take, the families out of it though and it's a real. Hot scenario yeah, can, memeber great fun I gotta go into working for tonight disagree with all of your all. Your views tomorrow. But. Tonight. Tonight, we make love. Ask. This guy Thai. Prime Minister, uses cardboard, cutout to avoid journalists questions. They just pull, it up right all really yeah he just walks away and they put my Minister we have a lot of questions head here talk to them and. They did, reporters. To. Prove a point they're just like. And. What did he say nothing, cuz he's a cardboard, we. Should get our own cardboard, when I but I don't want to answer question yeah right.

There It's, like when, what's. His name talk to the chair, no, please. Hello, mr. chair I was performance art yes. What. Is up a part. Of America's treasures yeah I mean. I, you. Say what you want maybe if the king was still alive he wouldn't let this kind of stuff happen, what, is his son doing letting, the Prime Minister, put a cardboard cutout out. Sad. A. Cryptocurrency. Created, as a joke about a dog meme now has a market cap above two billion dollars and the, inventor is like what the hell is everyone's problem I haven't even updated the code. On the, blockchain. Fork. In two. Years yeah I think. Who does win last week John McAfee or McAfee. Yeah McAfee, that's a lunatic yeah he was on Twitter he's like the head of crypto, pump, and dumps on Twitter and he was like dogecoin. And it's like boom. So. You. Want to and, then. He admitted days, later for whatever reason, just well on Twitter was like yeah I buy hookers with my cryptocurrency I mean, he, he'd, most likely murdered, a man and got away with it so John. McAfee for president he ran last time let's. Get him in there again yeah guy. Knows, how to get things done yeah. Charlie. Daniels wants Taco Bell to take the Illuminati seriously, yeah, sure does that I will say I want. You to take the devil seriously, Charlie Daniels yeah not just go down to Georgia hmm looking for souls the seal yeah. So. I love. The response on this like people were just like mind-boggled. About, how he like, this would even exist as a tweet and, very. Confused, as to why he would say anything about the trollidays probably, sitting at home watching college, football, the NFL he saw Taco Bell commercial yeah cuz Georgia State was planned yeah Sikkim, dogs or whatever and and yeah and then though so there is a commercial where Taco, Bell is basically, they called the bell Illuminati hey directly, reference the Illuminati it's a great app yeah and a bunch of like, they make their own conspiracy, theories about money on it it's it's. It's good ad but I see where his confusion would come in because. If he's been haunted by the Illuminati for years and he sees this it's, true yeah did. Sell its soul no. No one to blame but yourself, Charlie Daniels sure I mean if. I could play the fiddle that quick, I made. Some I soul - mm-hmm. Like. A dream come true dog, snatched by Eagle in Pennsylvania, found alive six kilometres away I've, always dreamed of having my dog stolen, by an eagle and today that dream came it really makes you appreciate what, you had when. You find it again because, I mean, usually if it evil grab something it's done yeah. I mean. Eagles. Are friggin huge you ever seen any other towns there can't carry. Boxes yeah they got yeah. Rip. Your dick off mm-hmm, good, for the family though yeah and good for that dog and I think it was like I've seen some after, this they're gonna take many better care of that dog they even said when the Eagle snatched it up they're like for a brief second it was beautiful, before. We before, the reality fake and not doing the Pennsylvania, do these people live Elliott I, don't. Know, cuz. If that's it that's the case with a lot of people that have animals. And even pets that are like a lot of livestock and stuff like that they're just like I mean it's, an animal what. Are you gonna animals or animals yeah who are we to say well we eat. Sleep. In bed with mm-hmm. Making. Hindu monk full van with his penises hundreds, and thousands, gather for religious festival in India, this. Is the power of God right here look at this. Those guys those guys at air phone books apart show the power of Jesus yeah, showing the power of whatever Hindu, sect he's a part of yeah by pulling a van with his dick yeah and then I have denounced, all worldly, pleasures, what does it look like when he's done. Probably. He's. A laughing sassy stretched out hmm like like, the guy's tongue and dumb and dumber now. I need to pop to viagra's, and get on a plane. Imagine, taking that you're pulling a thing with your dick and it's like this, wouldn't happen physically, but it gets all stretched out and then you take it viagra you just kind of giant. Stick what you want I wish that's how it works maybe. It does then they sword fight yeah, prove who has the stronger penis big it's a great method yeah yeah. You pulled that van all, things are powerful or all things are possible through, the, power faith. Of faith yeah, you. Talk phone books you can pull vans with you don't try it at home though, anyways. Guys we're gonna brighten up the work we're. Gonna impact South, in San Antonio specifically. At howl at the moon on the Riverwalk 11:00. A.m. on Saturday, come hang out with us we're gonna do an e TC live and a party time live, no, badge needed, all. You ate all ages to come hang out with us via the hang out on the show asked questions do whatever you want well, be stoked to see you so that is Saturday 11:00 a.m. see you there watch two other videos here we got a brand new tech news day about CES and, all the weird, that's coming out of there and also.

We Did a livestream about the Golden Globes so catch up.

2018-01-16 23:26

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